 The narcissist does not want you to feel satisfied. They don't want you to be happy with anything in your life. It's like every time they even come around to love bomb you, then they've also got to take something away. Or there has to be something wrong with it. Or there has to be something wrong with you. They go straight to the devaluation. They insult you, they put you down. And then they discard you. And then they triangulate you with someone else to make you feel as though you're not good enough. And this other person is more deserving. They're better than you, they're superior. So they go off and they do things with this other person that they never did with you. Or at least that's what it seems, as I've said before, it is actually just an illusion. And what you got from them was what they had to give. But the reality is that, yes, you may have wanted more from them. And that is actually the whole point. That's why they had to leave you feeling dissatisfied. That's why they had to do that to you. Because they're very insecure and they have low self-esteem. They already felt like they weren't good enough even long before you came around. And because of that, they just felt like they could never be good enough for you. That's why they gave you the false character and the revelation. That's why they deceived you. That was the whole point of that. Because they don't want to put themselves out there. Where they could be exposed, where they could be vulnerable. Because by doing that, it's like when I go live on YouTube, someone could come along and leave a negative comment. They could say something hurtful, negative. They may not be satisfied with my content. And for narcissists, it's the same thing. They've lost that innocence, that playfulness because they've been hurt. And they may have been hurt by someone like you in the past. Someone who desired more love, intimacy, a connection. And because of that, they felt like now they need to tone themselves down. Now they need to withhold, not be vulnerable. Now they need to shut themselves off. Because of that fear of exposing themselves to being hurt or feeling disappointed, of not being able to please or satisfy someone. And of course, it's very different for them anyway. It's a very different experience. For them, it is more about supply. It's more just about attention and validation. That's all that they're really looking for. And they worked it out in a way where they feel like they can get more attention from you by withholding things from you and devaluing. Because when you think about it, that love bombing, it has to lead to something, any normal situation. It has to go somewhere, but they just can't take it there. They can't take it that far. So they realize that they have to put a stop to it. They have to end it. They have to stop it from going where it's supposed to go. And of course, as we know, yes, they do that by devaluing you or by cutting it off and just showing you exactly who they are instead of continuing with the love bombing. Because they already know that you're not going to be satisfied with that. They already know that you're going to want and desire more. Of course, they know that. Many of you, actually all of you, and you may not realize this, but yes, this is a reality. And the reality is that you rejected them first. And you may not even know it. But if you look back, you will remember. You will realize that at some point you pulled away. You weren't happy with something they said or did. You looked at them in a certain way and they could see it in your eyes. They're very hypersensitive. They're always scanning the environment for threats. They're scanning your facial expressions, your body language to see whether or not you were satisfied with them. Because then they feel like there's something that you want. But if you don't give them that, which many of you, in fact, all of you, you will know in the back of your mind what you're dealing with. You will sense that energy. If you are empathic, you will sense that it's not real. But they're giving you this lack of authenticity, this lack of innocence and purity. And you recognize it because they have an agenda. And that's what makes you pull back. And then that signals to them, okay, this character, this illusion is not going to be good enough. So then they need to pull back. They need to not give you that. Because they already know that in the end they're just going to feel rejected anyway. They know that this manipulation, this game playing is not going to be good enough for you. They know that they're going to have to come with the real thing for you. It has to be authentic. It has to be real. Yes, they recognize that, especially if you come out and you confront them, then they will quickly move to the devaluation phase. And, yeah, it's like all of the fun just stops straight away. It's all over. Now everything's so serious. There's all of these arguments and fights. And yet they point the finger at you. That's what they always do is blame the victim. They make you think that you're not good enough. Something is wrong with you. And if that was the case, just put yourself in those shoes. If you're dealing with someone who doesn't feel good enough, someone who's not good for whatever reason, you would try to make them better. You would give them some of your love, your energy to replenish them, to make them happy, to make them satisfied. That's what we always do. And yes, that is what I've always done in my life. I gave people everything I had. But with narcissists, they don't do that. If they sense that you're not going to be happy with the character and the illusion, the first thing they're going to do is pull back and then point the finger at you and blame you. Say that something is wrong with you. Yes, that's exactly what they're going to do. And a lot of times it's that even if they do give you what you want and somehow, even if you were to some extent satisfied with it, then they fear what would happen next. Because that might be all that they have to give. They might not have anything else other than that. So then there's no incentive for you to stick around or for you to come back if they have nothing else to bring to you. So they might withhold certain things that they think aren't going to be good enough for you. But they will big it up and act like it's so much more than what it actually is. They will lie to you. They will future fake to keep you around. For years, sometimes decades and then in the end they might just triangle it you with someone else and just give it to them and make you believe that it's so great. It's so much better than what they gave to you. But a lot of times they just found someone who's a lot easier to deal with. Someone who has much lower standards and they're willing to accept less and see it as so much more than what it actually is. A lot of you, you may recognise that you never belonged around them. It's just that they managed to manipulate you. A lot of you, you were with narcissists that were involved in things that you were not about. You were not about that at all. And it might have been things where they were going to bars and clubs. Maybe they liked to drink alcohol every night. Smoked cigarettes. Maybe some of them even did drugs. Maybe they liked to gamble. Maybe they had a shopping addiction. And it's just all of these things that they were involved in. You didn't approve of that and they could see that you weren't satisfied with them. It was difficult for you to accept. So you were already putting out that energy to them. And they just thought, why not give you a taste of your own medicine? Because that is exactly how they are thinking a lot of times. With narcissists it's all about taking. But they're not just going to take from just anyone. In some situations they do have to give something. But even then it's just some energy that they've taken from someone else. Typically their last supply. And then they reciprocate this back to the new person. And you're fueling this illusion. You're making it look and feel real for them. Even though all they're actually doing is sharing your energy with someone else. Someone who is more tolerant and more accepting of them. Someone who doesn't mind the things that they do. And it may have even just been the things that they did to you. They abused you. They mistreated you. They lied to you. They deceived you. They sold you a dream. And they moved on to this new person. And maybe they're not too bothered about that. They don't really care about what they did to you. When you already know that it would be very different for you if you were in that person's shoes. If you were aware of something that they did to their previous supply. And they did similar things to what they did to you. You would have never wanted to have been involved with them. Because I know those of you who are watching this. You do not agree with abuse in any situation. No matter what they said their ex did to them. That still doesn't justify it. That still doesn't make it okay. But that's just how it is with these narcissists. They think they can do whatever they want. And that they deserve to get away with it. And believe it or not that actually makes them feel good. It makes them feel alive. It gives them a supply. When they feel like they've got one over on you. Yes that is actually their idea of fun. Just now they're coming through you. Yes that is the narcissist idea of fun. Manipulating and getting over on someone. Doing them wrong, doing them dirty. And they actually think that that's okay as long as they get to feel good about it. Which as we know they always do. They enjoy it. And that's what you've got to think. When you see them after they discard you and they triangulate you with someone else. Is that really what you wanted in your life? Someone who their idea of fun and what gives them satisfaction is taking away your satisfaction. Not giving something to you. Not reciprocating. Making you feel left out. Making you feel dissatisfied. Is that really someone that you wanted in your life? Someone who gets off and stuff like that. Because when I look back now it doesn't sound good to me. It's much better to be with someone who when you're with them they want to make you happy. They just want to give you everything. They want to satisfy you. They love it just to see that smile on your face. Just to see you happy. Because I know a lot of you who are watching this you were that person to the narcissist. You were that for them. But they weren't that for you. Because that does nothing for them. What does something for them the illusion of something good? And then pulling the rug out from underneath you to them that is their idea of fun and it actually brings them pleasure and satisfaction. But for us of course that does not make us happy at all because we do have the ability to be vulnerable and to connect to people. We have the ability to share another person's feelings and experience. So what we do to another person we do to ourselves it would hurt us as well. And yet these narcissists can move on and triangle it with someone else making you believe that they have something with them and that they care about their feelings. But that doesn't make any sense because they never cared about you. So how can they move on with that energy? Because whether they pay attention to it or not that shame is still going to be there. It's not going to go away just because they try to deny or ignore it. So yes it all comes back to that these narcissists cannot be satisfied they can't be happy with anything. But I know a lot of you you look at yourself and you think maybe I wasn't good enough maybe I could have done more for them. But I'm sure a lot of you have already been in it for so much time already you may have been with them for years decades and you did everything you could for them but it was never enough they were never happy they were never satisfied with anything you did and you already know that you likely did more for them than anyone ever did for them in their lives maybe even more than their own parents did for them and yet in the end we look at ourselves and we feel like we're not good enough it's really crazy when you think about it but of course they will jump on the bandwagon they will play along and act like yes it was something to do with you you were the problem but it wasn't you at all you have the ability to feel happy on your own as you did before you met them you have the ability to validate yourself but they could never do that they were addicted to people they always had other sources on the side and they were never happy with any of them they kept coming back to you and it's because they couldn't be satisfied which is why a lot of them in the end they start these smear campaigns but they're all against you and then they're trying to twist this narrative around on you trying to make you think that it's you because they want you to feel like you're wrong and that's really why I started this channel with to show you that it's all manipulation and gaslighting it's all intended to deceive and confuse you because deep down they already know that something is wrong with them they already know that they have these insatiable desires they can't be satisfied especially not around you because they're very insecure and they have low self-esteem if they could then they would have been then you would have experienced that with them but you didn't because they couldn't it's not because they didn't want to although they may not have wanted to but also because they couldn't they didn't have that to give to you and yes they see it that way as well they look at it like yes I kind of want to give more to this person yes that may make them want me it may make them want to stick around more but at the same time that's also going to expose me that's going to open me up to possible judgement or criticism or regret and disappointment of being unable to satisfy this person that's exactly how they think and they feel as though it's better for them to deny and just settle for this illusion it's like the less you know about them the better the more that they can hide themselves under this veil pull the wool over your eyes because I think a lot of them they already know that yes they are messed up they know that there is a lot of things wrong with them with the disorder so a lot of times yes that is why they hide they cover themselves they don't want to reveal themselves to you because they already know that the more they show the more that they reveal the more time they spend around you the more that they talk to you the more that they answer your questions the more of a chance or opportunity they give for you to get to know the real them it makes them more vulnerable it exposes them and then you have the chance to shut them down and reject them and of course they do not want you to do that they're very fragile people as I said they are very insecure so they don't want to give you that opportunity to get one over on them even though that may not be what you're thinking to do but they're very paranoid they've done all of these things to you and to people before you so they're just thinking and wondering when is it going to catch up to them when are they going to get the other end of it because a lot of you yes they see that you are very powerful people and they've taken power from people in the past and they've misused their power they've abused it so of course they're anticipating their expectations that you're going to do the same thing to them yes they do worry about that so they look at it like I have to put myself in a position where they can't have power over me where they can't control the outcome or result where I'm not at the effect of them because if that were to happen if that was to be a possibility an opportunity all they would do is misuse it and use it against me yes that is exactly how they think in their minds because they learned a long time ago not only they may have been taught that they are unlovable but also that people are not to be trusted if you trust someone if you give them the authority they're just going to misuse it they're going to use it against you and that is how you already know that yes they have been through a lot of trauma a lot of things were done to them and that is why they shut themselves off because they're just waiting and expecting you to do something to them so they're not even going to give you that opportunity and because of that it's like you never really get to see who they actually are sometimes you see the false character other times you see this parental figure who is all-knowing and all-powerful the very authoritative and commanding but there is more to them than that yes there is this underdeveloped inner child self and it's very difficult to reach that because for you to reach that side of them you would have to be able to establish their trust you would have to deal with them without judgement so many of us will never get to see that side of the narcissist because they're just not going to feel that comfortable around you to share that with you but yes that is the reality that there is not only the false character and then this parental figure but there is also the underdeveloped child self as well and even then even if you do manage to get that side of them it's just going to be the traumatised version it's unlikely to be the innocent, playful side of them it's going to be the side of them that just wants to get one over on you because yes they are very paranoid and even if they try to be vulnerable they're just waiting and expecting for something to go wrong because they've already seen it so many times before so there's really no incentive for them to even do that there's no incentive for them to act right I mean if they knew that if they gave you what you wanted and you were actually satisfied with it then yes maybe they would consider doing that but that is the thing they're very fearful of that they're anticipating that something is going to go wrong that you're not going to be happy with them so instead yes they pull back, they withhold, they deny or they just deliberately seek to harm you and make you miserable because you've got to look at it like this at least then if they know that they initiated it they caused you to feel dissatisfied they've still got that power and control there's power in knowing but what they don't know is that by putting themselves out there and being vulnerable with you they don't know where that is going to lead they don't have any power or control over that over how you're going to respond to them you may still be left feeling disappointed and dissatisfied so that takes power away from them or it stops you from giving your power away to them they want to avoid anything where there is reciprocation and equal exchange because they fear that even in those situations they're going to be the ones left with a short end of the stick because while you may have something to give and you could satisfy them they feel like they don't have something of equal exchange to give to you where you would be satisfied with them as well so in all of these situations they just look at it as though it's best for them to pull back to not give you exactly what you want or to give it to you differently than how you would anticipate it to do something different than what is normal, usual or expected because at least then they're in control and that's really it with this disorder it's this response to their traumas but yes they just need to have power and control they can't be innocent, they can't be playful they can't just let their head down and let things go because there's all of this fear, this shame, this trauma to where they're very distrustful they fear that by being vulnerable they would be exposing themselves and then you could harm them even if it's just by disinterest or dissatisfaction not being happy with what they give to you and yes they have a great fear of rejection, abandonment and exposure and they look at it like if they don't give you exactly what you want, what you asked for or what they're supposed to bring to you as a result of the exchange they look at it like if they don't do that then that could bond you to them over some form of trauma to where you're then seeking something from them you're seeking for them to make things right with you as crazy as that sounds yes that is how they think and you have to remember that this is all a result of their trauma and a lot of times it is just the trauma from seeing you just your presence it makes them insecure it makes them feel small insignificant in comparison to where they feel like they just have to find some way to get that power, that control over you and they become very envious to where they want to take away from you they become competitive because it's just your mere presence is triggering them I mean you've got to think that people can't respond to nothing they're not doing these things and reacting for no reason a lot of times it's because of you the person that they targeted remember they want the best of the best but then when they actually get around them they become very insecure it brings up their insecurities and they've just got to find a way to rein it in to control it and they do that by leaving you dissatisfied because they already know they feel like even if they did give exactly what you wanted to you that you wouldn't be satisfied with it and a lot of times they don't even want the same things as you anyway remember they lack empathy they don't really care about intimacy or connection they don't really care about any of those things all they care about is what they can take from you by establishing power and control over you they can't just be normal they can't see you as they're equal they can't be a fair playing field it has to be them trying to find a way to get one over on you they have to be above you and that's how you should know that they already feel like you're above them whenever someone feels the need to establish this authority and control over you it's because they already feel like you're greater than them you're more powerful otherwise they would just treat you as an equal I mean when someone really feels like someone is beneath them they're not going to target them or try to be around them all of the time they're just not going to do that at all they might try to bring something to them or they're just going to be indifferent to them it's like if you see a homeless person on the street you're not going to go out of your way to try to establish power or control over them you might see them as an equal you might see them as someone who is beneath you but either way you may desire to bring something of value to them to lift them up or you're just not even going to notice you're going to be indifferent but with narcissists yes they do notice and they do desire to take from you because they see you as greater than them they see you as having more value so yes that's all that there is and I want this to be an empowering video for you to recognise that you are okay, you're fine and you do deserve good things in your life you do deserve to be satisfied and it's not anything to do with you yes they are insecure and just being around you it brings up their insecurities and of course when a person feels insecure they have to try to control and typically they try to control whatever it is that is making them feel insecure and what they should do is practice, discipline and control over themselves and their own emotions that would be much more effective for them but as we know they do not self reflect so they try to change the outer world instead but they never get the result that they want it doesn't last for long it just gives them supply for a moment and then they're back to feeling how they normally feel so they abuse, they misuse people like us, powerful empathetic people and it's sad but this is just what they do and it's what they're going to continue to do as well you're not going to be able to change them the best thing you can do is move on and try to find someone who won't be afraid of giving themselves to you being fun and playful and giving you that satisfaction that you bring to them yes I hope all of you will find that I do wish that for all of you so yes that's it for this video it's getting late over here so me and Nala are going to get ready to go to bed but as always I really enjoy talking with you and if you'd like to show your support you can give this video a thumbs up down below thank you all for watching and I'll talk to you in another one very soon