 Hello Foundation staff, this is level 2 researcher Theron Sherman, and today's broadcast is regarding just a really weird one, okay? Item number SCP-063-J Object Class? Not Euclid. Special Containment Procedures SCP-063-J is to be stored in a Standard Issue Foundation Aquatic Containment Box. During the winter months, SCP-063-J may be checked out for experimentation, with explicit permission from O5-2. Due to previous frequent containment breaches, at no point during the summer is SCP-063-J allowed to be removed from its container. Description SCP-063-J is a surface made of polyvinyl chloride resin with topological genus Zero. When filled, SCP-063-J most closely resembles a sphere. Experts to characterize the shape of SCP-063-J while empty, beyond trivial topological classification, are ongoing but have been described as frustrating and pointless. The anomalous properties of SCP-063-J manifest in two distinct effects. The first is that any individual that is made aware of SCP-063-J undergoes a compulsion to bring it to the immediate vicinity of the nearest large body of water that the individual deems clean. This effect appears to be seasonal. The second is that SCP-063-J cannot be classified as Euclid. Junior researcher Ryman was recalled from his vacation to investigate the second anomalous effect. Alright, we got a table here with a few tests. Prompt, Junior researcher Ryman was asked to fill SCP-063-J. Test, inflated SCP-063-J halfway before running out of breath, took a 5 minute rest then continued. Result, success. Prompt, Junior researcher Ryman was asked to classify the geometry of a filled SCP-063-J. Test, spent 7 hours trying to draw two parallel lines on SCP-063-J. Result, failure. Prompt, Junior researcher Ryman was asked to draw a triangle with angles adding up to 180 degrees on SCP-063-J. Spent 4 hours drawing before running out of Sharpie ink. Result, please it's a beach ball. Note from Junior researcher Ryman. Okay, I don't know how many times I have to explain this. Just because things are non-Euclidean doesn't mean that they are anomalous or spooky. So what if you can't draw parallel lines on it or sum the angles of a triangle to 180? It's a beach ball. There are so many other interesting geometries like hyperbolic or seafert fibers. And look, I've been thinking about one that tracks the inner product on an arbitrary smooth manifold and… update. Junior researcher Ryman's access to SCP-063-J has been revoked, because something is wrong with him. Junior researcher Ryman is also no longer allowed to talk about esoteric geometries. This concludes today's broadcast. Please like, comment, subscribe, and hit the bell using your encrypted YouTube account and support the broadcast at patreon.com slash site 42.