 Chapter 4 of Ruth. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Cynthia Lyons. Ruth by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell. Chapter 4, treading in perilous places. Sunday came, as brilliant as if there were no sorrow or death or guilt in the world. A day or two of rain had made the earth fresh and brave as the blue heavens above. Ruth thought it was too strong a realization of her hopes, and looked for an overcrowding at noon. But the glory endured, and at two o'clock she was in the lisos, with a beating heart full of joy, longing to stop the hours which would pass too quickly through the afternoon. They sauntered through the fragrant lanes, as if their loitering would prolong the time and check the fiery-footed steeds, galloping a pace toward the close of the happy day. It was past five o'clock before they came to the Great Mill Wheel, which stood in Sabbath idleness, motionless in a brown mass of shade, and still wet with yesterday's immersion in the deep, transparent water beneath. They clamored the little hill, not yet fully shaded by the overarching elms, and then Ruth checked Mr. Bellingham by a slight motion of the hand which lay within his arm, and glanced up into his face to see what that face should express as it looked on Millum Grange, now lying still and peaceful in its afternoon shadows. It was a house of afterthoughts. Building materials were plentiful in the neighborhood, and every successive owner had found a necessity for some addition or projection, till it was a picturesque mass of irregularity, of broken light and shadow, which as a whole gave a full and complete idea of a home. All its gables and nooks were blended and held together by the tender green of the climbing roses and young creepers. An old couple were living in the house until it should be let, but they dwelt in the back part and never used the front door, so the little birds had grown tame and familiar and perched upon the windowsills and porch and on the old stone cistern, which caught the water from the roof. They went silently through the untrimmed garden, full of the pale colored flowers of spring. A spider had spread her web over the front door. The sight of this conveyed a sense of desolation to Ruth's heart. She thought it was possible the state entrance had never been used since her father's dead body had been born forth, and without speaking a word she turned abruptly away and went round the house to another door. Mr. Bellingham followed without questioning, little understanding her feelings, but full of admiration for the varying expression called out upon her face. The old woman had not yet returned from church or from the weekly gossip or neighborly tea which succeeded. The husband sat in the kitchen, spelling the psalms for the day in his prayer book and reading the words out loud, a habit he had acquired from the double solitude of his life, for he was deaf. He did not hear the quiet entrance of the pair, and they were struck with the sort of ghostly echo which seems to haunt half furnished and uninhabited houses. The verses he was reading were the following. Why art thou so vexed, O my soul, and why art thou so disquieted within me? O put thy trust in God, for I will yet thank him, which is the help of my countenance and my God. And when he had finished he shut the book and sighed with the satisfaction of having done his duty. The words of holy trust, though perhaps, they were not fully understood, carried a faithful peace down into the depths of his soul. As he looked up he saw the young couple standing in the middle of the floor. He pushed his iron rim spectacles onto his forehead and rose to greet the daughter of his old master, an ever-honored mistress. God bless thee, lass, God bless thee, my old eyes are glad to see thee again. Ruth sprang forward to shake the horny hand stretched forward in the action of blessing. She pressed it between both of hers as she rapidly poured out questions. Mr. Bellingham was not altogether comfortable at seeing one whom he had already begun to appropriate as his own, so tenderly familiar with a hard-featured, meanly dressed day laborer. He sauntered to the window and looked out into the grass-grown farmyard, but he could not help overhearing some of the conversation, which seemed to him carried on too much in the tone of equality. And who's he on? asked the old laborer at last. Is he your sweetheart? Your missy son, I reckon. He's a spruce young chap anyway. Mr. Bellingham's blood of all the howards rose and tingled about his ears so that he could not hear Ruth's answer. It began by hush, Thomas, pray hush, but how it went on he did not catch. The idea of his being Mrs. Mason's son, it was really too ridiculous. But, like most things which are too ridiculous, it made him very angry. He was hardly himself again when Ruth shyly came to the window recess and asked him if he would like to see the house-place into which the front door entered. Many people thought it very pretty, she said, half timidly, for his face had unconsciously assumed a hard and haughty expression, which he could not instantly soften down. He followed her, however, but before he left the kitchen, he saw the old man standing, looking at Ruth's companion with a strange, grave air of dissatisfaction. They went along one or two zigzag, damp-smelling stone passages and then entered the house-place or common sitting-room for a farmer's family in that part of the country. The front door opened into it, and several other apartments issued out of it, such as the dairy, the state bedroom, which was half-pollar as well, and a small room which had been appropriated to the late Mrs. Hilton, where she sat, or more frequently lay, commanding through the open door the comings and goings of the household. In those days the house-place had been a cheerful room, full of life, with the passing-to-and-fro of a husband, child, and servant, with a great merry wood-fire crackling and blazing away every evening and hardly let out in the very heat of summer. Four, with the thick stone walls and the deep window seats and the drapery of vine-leaves and ivy, that room, with its flag-floor, seemed always to want the sparkle and cheery warmth of a fire. But now the green shadows from without seem to have become black in the uninhabited desolation. The oaken shovel-board, the heavy dresser, and the carved cupboards were now dull and damp, which were formally polished up to a brightness of a looking-glass where the fire-blaze was forever glinting. They only added to the oppressive gloom. The flag-floor was wet with heavy moisture. Ruth stood gazing into the room, seeing nothing of what was present. She saw a vision of former days, an evening in the days of her childhood, her father sitting in the master's corner near the fire, sedately smoking his pipe, while he dreamily watched his wife and child, her mother reading to her as she sat on a little stool at her feet. It was gone, all gone into the land of shadows, but for the moment it seemed so present in the old room that Ruth believed her actual life to be the dream. Then, still silent, she went on into her mother's parlor. But there the bleak look of what had once been full of peace and mother's love struck cold on her heart. She uttered a cry and threw herself down by the sofa, hiding her face in her hands while her frame quivered with her repressed sobs. Dearest Ruth, don't give way so. It can do no good. It cannot bring back the dead, said Mr. Bellingham, distressed at witnessing her distress. I know it cannot, murmured Ruth, and that is why I cry. I cry because nothing will ever bring them back again. She sobbed afresh, but more gently, for his kind words soothed her and softened if they could not take away her sense of desolation. Come away, I cannot have you stay here, full of painful associations, as these rooms must be. Come, raising her with gentle violence, show me your little garden you have often told me about. Near the window of this very room, is it not? See how well I remember everything you tell me. He led her round through the back part of the house into the pretty old-fashioned garden. There was a sunny border just under the windows and clipped box and yew trees by the grass plot farther away from the house, and she prattled again of her childish adventures and solitary plays. When they turned round, they saw the old man who had hobbled out with the help of his stick and was looking at them with the same grave, sad look of anxiety. Mr. Bellingham spoke rather sharply. Why does that old man follow us about in that way? It is excessively impertinent of him, I think. Oh, don't call old Thomas impertinent. He is so good in kind, he is like a father to me. I remember sitting on his knee many and many a time when I was a child, whilst he told me stories out of the pilgrim's progress. He taught me to suck up milk through a straw. Mama was very fond of him, too. He used to sit with us always in the evening when Papa was away at market. For Mama was rather afraid of having no man in the house and used to beg old Thomas to stay, and he would take me on his knee and listen just as attentively as I did while Mama read aloud. You don't mean to say you have sent upon that old fellow's knee? Oh, yes, many and many a time. Mr. Bellingham looked graver than he had done while witnessing Ruth's passionate emotion in her mother's room. But he lost his sense of indignity in admiration of his companion as she wandered among the flowers, seeking for favorite bushes or plants to which some history or remembrance was attached. She wound in and out in natural graceful wavy lines between the luxuriant and overgrown shrubs, which were fragrant with a leafy smell of spring growth. She went on, careless of watching eyes, indeed unconscious for the time of their existence. Once she stopped to take hold of a spray of jessamine and softly kiss it. It had been her mother's favorite flower. Old Thomas was standing by the horse-mount and was also an observer of all her goings-on. But while Mr. Bellingham's feeling was that of passionate admiration mingled with a selfish kind of love, the old man gazed with tender anxiety and his lips moved in words of blessing. She's a pretty creature with a glint of her mother about her, and she's the same kind last as ever, not a bit set up with young fine-manty-maker's shop she's in. I missed out that young fellow, though, for all she called him a real gentleman, and check me when I asked if he was her sweetheart, if his or not sweetheart's looks. I've forgotten all my young days. Here they're going, I suppose. Look, he wants her to go without a word to the old man, but she is none so chained as that, I reckon. Not Ruth indeed. She never perceived the dissatisfied expression of Mr. Bellingham's countenance, visible to the old man's keen eye, but came running up to Thomas to send her love to his wife and to shake him many times by the hand. Tell Mary I'll make her such a fine gown as soon as ever I set up for myself. It shall be all in the fashion, big gigott sleeves, that she shall not know herself in them. Mind you tell her that, Thomas, will you? I that I will last, and I reckon she'll be pleased to hear, thou hast not forgotten thy old merry ways. The Lord bless thee, the Lord lift up the light of his countenance upon thee. Ruth was half-way towards the impatient Mr. Bellingham, when her old friend called her back. He longed to give her a warning of the danger that he thought she was in, and yet he did not know how. When she came up, all he could think of was to say was a text. Indeed, the language of the Bible was the language in which he thought, whenever his ideas went beyond practical everyday life into expressions of emotion or feeling. My dear, remember the devil goeth about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Remember that, Ruth? The words fell on her ear, but gave no definite idea. The utmost they suggested was the remembrance of the dread she felt as a child when this verse came into her mind, and how she used to imagine a lion's head with glaring eyes peering out of the bushes in a dark, shady part of the wood, which, for this reason, she had always avoided, and even now could hardly think of without a shudder. She never imagined that this grim warning related to the handsome young man who awaited her with a countenance beaming with love, and tenderly drew her hand within his arm. The old man sighed as he watched them away. The Lord may help her to guide her steps aright. He may, but I'm afraid she's treading in perilous places. I'll put my misses up to going to the town and getting speech of her and telling her a bit of her danger. An old motherly woman like our Mary will set about it better, nor a stupid fellow like me. The poor old laborer prayed long and earnestly that night for Ruth. He called it wrestling for her soul, and I think that his prayers were heard, for God judges not as man judges. Ruth went on her way, all unconscious of the dark phantoms of the future that were gathering around her. Her melancholy turned with the pliancy of childish years, at sixteen not yet lost, into a softened manner which was infinitely charming. By and by she cleared up into sunny happiness. The evening was still and full of mellow light, and the newborn summer was so delicious that in common with all young creatures she shared its influence and was glad. They stood together at the top of a steep ascent, the hill of the hundred. At the summit there was a level space, sixty or seventy yards square of unenclosed and broken ground over which the golden bloom of the gorse cast a rich hue. While its delicious scent perfumed the fresh and nimble air. On one side of this common the ground sloped down to a clear bright pond in which were mirrored the rough sand cliffs that rose abrupt on the opposite bank. Hundreds of Martins found a home there, and were now wheeling over the transparent water and dipping in their wings in their evening sport. Indeed all sorts of birds seemed to haunt the lonely pool. The water wag tails were scattered around its margin. The linnets perched on the topmost sprays of the gorse bushes and other hidden warblers sang their vespers on the uneven ground beyond. On the far side of the green waste close by the road and well placed for the requirements of horses and their riders who might be weary with the ascent of the hill there was a public house which was more of a farm than an inn. It was a long low building rich in dormer windows on the weather side which were necessary in such an exposed situation and with odd projections and unlooked for gables on every side. There was a deep porch in front on whose hospitable benches a dozen persons might sit and enjoy the balmy air. A noble sycamore grew right before the house with seats all round it. Such tents the patriarchs loved. And a nondescript sign hung from a branch on the side next to the road which, being wisely furnished with an interpretation, was found to mean King Charles in the oak. Near this comfortable, quiet, unfrequented inn there was another pond for household and farmyard purposes from which the cattle were drinking before returning to the fields after they had been milked. Their very motions were so lazy and slow that they served to fill up the mind with the sensation of dreamy rest. Ruth and Mr. Bellingham plunged through the broken ground to regain the road near the wayside inn. Hand in hand, now pricked by the far-spreading gorse, now ankle deep in sand, now pressing the soft thick heath which should make so brave an autumn show and now over wild time and other fragrant herbs they made their way with many a merry laugh. Once on the road at the summit, Ruth stood silent in breathless delight at the view before her. The hill fell suddenly down into the plain extending for a dozen miles or more. There was a clump of dark scotch furs close to them which cut clear against the western sky and threw back the nearest levels into distance. The plain below them was richly wooded and was tinted by the young tender hues of the earliest summer for all the trees of the woods had donned their leaves except the cautious ash which here and there gave a soft, pleasant grainice to the landscape. Far away in the champagne were spires and towers and stacks of chimneys belonging to some distant hidden farmhouse which were traced downwards through the golden air by the thin columns of blue smoke sent up from the evening fires. The view was bounded by some rising ground in deep purple shadow against the sunset sky. When first they stopped, silent with sighing pleasure, the air seemed full of pleasant noises, distant church bells made harmonious music with the little singing birds near at hand nor were the lowings of the cattle or the calls of the farm servants discordant for the voices seemed to be hushed by the brooding consciousness of the Sabbath. They stood loitering before the house, quietly enjoying the view. The clock in the little inn struck eight and it sounded clear and sharp in the stillness. Can it be so late, asked Ruth? I should not have thought it possible, answered Mr. Bellingham. But never mind, you will be home long before nine. Stay, there is a shorter road, I know, through the fields, just wait a moment while I go in and ask the exact way. He dropped Ruth's arm and went into the public house. A gig had been slowly toiling up the sandy hill behind, unperceived by the young couple, and now it reached the table-land and was close upon them as they separated. Ruth turned round when the sound of the horse's footsteps came distinctly as he reached the level. She faced Mrs. Mason. They were not ten, no, not five yards apart. At the same moment they recognized each other and what was worse, Mrs. Mason had clearly seen her sharp needle-like eyes, the attitude in which Ruth had stood with the young man who had just quitted her. Ruth's hand had been lying in his arm and fondly held there by his other hand. Mrs. Mason was careless about the circumstances of temptation into which the girls entrusted to her as apprentices were thrown, but severely intolerant if their conduct was in any degree influenced by the force of these temptations. She called this intolerance, keeping up the character of her establishment. It would have been a better and more Christian thing if she had kept up the character of her girls by tender vigilance and maternal care. This evening, too, she was in an irritated state of temper. Her brother had undertaken to drive her round by henbury in order to give her the unpleasant information of the misbehavior of her eldest son, who was an assistant in a draper's shop in a neighboring town. She was full of indignation against want of steadiness, though not willing to direct her indignation against the right object, her near-dwell darling. While she was thus charged with anger, for her brother justly defended her son's master and companions from her attacks, she saw a Ruth standing with a lover far away from home at such a time in the evening, and she boiled over with intemperate displeasure. Come here directly, Miss Hilton, she exclaimed sharply. Then, dropping her voice to low, bitter tones of concentrated wrath, she said to the trembling, Guilty Ruth, don't attempt to show your face at my house again after this conduct. I saw you and your spark, too. I'll have no slurs on the character of my apprentices. Don't say a word. I saw enough. I shall write and tell your guardian tomorrow. The horse started away, for he was impatient to be off, and Ruth was left standing there, stony, sick and pale, as if the lightning had torn up the ground beneath her feet. She could not go on standing. She was so sick and faint. She staggered back to the broken sandbank and sank down and covered her face with her hands. My dearest Ruth, are you ill? Speak, darling, my love. My love, do speak to me. What tender words, after such harsh ones, they loosened the fountain of Ruth's tears, and she cried bitterly. Oh, did you see her? Did you hear what she said? She? Who, my darling, don't sob so, Ruth. Tell me what it is. Who has been near you? Who has been speaking to you to make you cry so? Oh, Mrs. Mason. And there was a fresh burst of sorrow. You don't say so. Are you sure? I was not away five minutes. Oh, yes, sir, I'm quite sure. She was so angry. She said I must never show my face there again. Oh, dear, what shall I do? It seemed to the poor child, as if Mrs. Mason's words were irrevocable. And that, being so, she was shut out from every house. She saw how much she had done that was deserving of blame. Now, when it was too late to undo it. She knew with what severity and taunts Mrs. Mason had often treated her for involuntary failings, of which she had been quite unconscious. And now she had really done wrong, and shrank with terror from the consequences. Her eyes were so blinded by the fast-falling tears she did not see, nor had she seen would she have been able to interpret the change in Mr. Bellingham's countenance as he stood silently watching her. He was silent so long that even in her sorrow she began to wonder that he did not speak and to wish to hear his soothing words once more. It is very unfortunate he began at last, and then he stopped, and then he began again. It is very unfortunate, for, you see, I did not like to name it to you before, but I believe I have business, in fact, which obliges me to go to town tomorrow. To London, I mean, and I don't know when I shall be able to return. To London, quite, Ruth? Are you going away? Oh, Mr. Bellingham! She wept afresh, giving herself up to the desolate feeling of sorrow, which absorbed all the terror she had been experiencing at the idea of Mrs. Mason's anger. It seemed to her, at this moment, as though she could have borne everything but his departure, and she did not speak again, and after two or three minutes had elapsed, he spoke, not in his natural careless voice, but in a sort of constrained, agitated tone. I can hardly bear the idea of leaving you, my own Ruth, in such distress too. For where can you go? I do not know at all. From all you have told me of Mrs. Mason, I don't think she is likely to mitigate her severity in your case. No answer, but tears quietly, incessantly flowing. Mrs. Mason's displeasure seemed a distant thing. His going away was the present distress. He went on. Ruth, would you go with me to London? My darling, I cannot leave you here without a home. The thought of leaving you at all is pain enough, but in these circumstances, so friendless, so homeless, it is impossible. You must come with me, love, and trust to me. Still she did not speak. Remember how young and innocent and motherless she was. It seemed to her, as if it would be happiness enough to be with him, and as for the future, he would arrange and decide for that. The future lay wrapped in a golden mist, which she did not care to penetrate. But if he, her son, was out of sight and gone, the golden mist became dark heavy gloom, through which no hope could come. He took her hand. Will you not come with me? Do you not love me enough to trust me? Oh, Ruth, reproachfully, can you not trust me? She had stopped crying, but was sobbing sadly. I cannot bear this love. Your sorrow is absolute pain to me, but it is worse to feel how indifferent you are, how little you care about our separation. He dropped her hand. She burst into a fresh fit of crying. I may have to join my mother in Paris. I don't know when I shall see you again. Oh, Ruth, said he vehemently. Do you love me at all? She said something in a very low voice, but he could not hear it, though he bent down his head, but he took her hand again. What was it you said, love? Was it not that you did love me? My darling, you do. I can tell it by the trembling of this little hand. Then you will not suffer me to go away alone and unhappy, most anxious about you. There is no other course open to you. My poor girl has no friends to receive her. I will go home directly, and return in an hour with a carriage. You make me too happy by your silence, Ruth. Oh, what can I do, exclaimed Ruth, Mr. Bellingham, you should help me, and instead of that you only bewilder me. How, my dearest Ruth, bewilder you? It seems so clear to me. Look at this case fairly. Here you are, an orphan with only one person to love you, poor child, thrown off for no fault of yours by the only creature on whom you have a claim, that creature, a tyrannical, inflexible woman. What is more natural, and being natural more right, than you should throw yourself upon the care of one who loves you dearly, who would go through fire and water for you, who would shelter you from all harm, unless indeed, as I suspect, you do not care for him. If so, Ruth, if you do not care for me, we had better part. I will leave you at once. It will be better for me to go, if you do not care for me. He said this very sadly. It seems so to Ruth, at least, and made as though he would have drawn his hand from hers, but now she held it with soft force. Don't leave me, please, sir. It is very true I have no friend but you. Don't leave me, please, but oh, to tell me what I must do. Will you do it, if I tell you? If you will trust me, I will do my very best for you. I will give you my best advice. You see your position. Mrs. Mason writes and gives her own exaggerated account to your guardian. He is bound by no great love to you from what I have heard you say, and throws you off. I, who might be able to befriend you, through my mother perhaps, I, who could at least comfort you a little, could not, I, Ruth, am away, far away, for an indefinite time. That is your position at present. Now, what I advise is this. Come with me into this little inn. I will order tea for you. I am sure you will require it, sadly. And I will leave you there, and go home for the carriage. I will return in an hour at the latest. Then we are together. Come what may. That is enough for me. Is it not for you, Ruth? Say yes. Say it ever so low, but give me the delight of hearing it, Ruth. Say yes. Low and soft, with much hesitation, came the yes, the fatal word of which she so little imagined the infinite consequences. The thought of being with him was all and everything. How you tremble, my darling, you are cold love. Come into the house, and I'll order tea directly, and be off. She rose, and leaning on his arm, went into the house. She was shaking and dizzy with the agitation of the last hour. He spoke to the civil farmer landlord, who conducted them into a neat parlor, with windows opening into the garden at the back of the house. They had admitted much of the evening's fragrance through their open casements before they were hastily closed by the attentive host. Tea directly for this lady. The landlord vanished. Dearest Ruth, I must go. There is not an instant to be lost. Promise me to take some tea, for you are shivering all over, and deadly pale with the fright that abominable woman has given you. I must go. I shall be back in half an hour, and then no more partings, darling. He kissed her pale, cold face, and went away. The room whirled round before Ruth. It was a dream, a strange, varying, shifting dream, with the old home of her childhood for one scene, with the terror of Mrs. Mason's unexpected appearance for another, and then strangest, dizziest, happiest of all, there was the consciousness of his love, who was all the world to her, and the remembrance of the tender words which still kept up their low, soft echo in her heart. Her head ached so much that she could hardly see. Even the dusky twilight was a dazzling glare to her poor eyes, and when the daughter of the house brought in the sharp light of the candles, preparatory for tea, Ruth hid her face in the sofa pillows with a low exclamation of pain. Does your headache miss? Asked the girl in a gentle, sympathizing voice. Let me make you some tea, miss. It will do you good. Many's the time poor mother's headaches were cured by good, strong tea. Ruth murmured acquiescence, the young girl, about Ruth's own age, but who was the mistress of the little establishment, owing to her mother's death, made tea, and brought Ruth a cup to the sofa where she lay. Ruth was feverish and thirsty, and eagerly drank it off, although she could not touch the bread and butter which the girl offered her. She felt better and fresher, though she was still faint and weak. Thank you, said Ruth. Don't let me keep you. Perhaps you are busy. You have been very kind, and the tea has done me a great deal of good. The girl left the room. Ruth became as hot as she has previously been cold, and went and opened the window and leaned out into the still sweet evening air. The bush of sweet briar underneath the window scented the place, and the delicious fragrance reminded her of her old home. I think scents affect and quicken the memory more than either sights or sound, for Ruth had instantly before her eyes the little garden beneath the window of her mother's room, with the old man leaning on his stick watching her, just as he had done not three hours before on that very afternoon. Dear old Thomas, he and Mary would take me in. I think they would love me all the more if I were cast off, and Mr. Bellingham would perhaps not be so very long away, and he would know where to find me if I stayed at Millham Grange. Oh, would it not be better to go to them? I wonder if he would be very sorry. I could not bear to make him so sorry, so kind as he has been to me, but I do believe it would be better to go to them and ask their advice at any rate. He would follow me there, and I could talk over what I better do with the three best friends I have in the world, the only friends I have. She put on her bonnet and opened the parlor door, but then she saw the square figure of the landlord standing at the open-house door, smoking his evening pipe and looming large and distinct against the dark air and landscape beyond. Ruth remembered the cup of tea she had drunk. It must be paid for, and she had no money with her. She feared that he would not let her quit the house without paying. She thought that she would leave a note for Mr. Bellingham, saying where she was gone and how she had left the house in debt. For, like a child, all dilemmas appeared of equal magnitude to her and the difficulty of passing the landlord while he stood there and of giving him an explanation of the circumstances as far as such explanation was due to him, appeared insuperable and as awkward and fraught with inconvenience as far more serious situations. She kept peeping out of her room after she had written her little pencil note to see if the outer door was still obstructed. There he stood, motionless, enjoying his pipe and looking out into the darkness which gathered thick with the coming night. The fumes of the tobacco were carried by the air into the house and brought back Ruth's sick headache. Her energy left her. She became stupid and languid and incapable of spirited exertion. She modified her plan of action to the determination of asking Mr. Bellingham to take her to Milam Grange, to the care of her humble friends instead of London. And she thought, in her simplicity, that he would instantly consent when he had heard her reasons. She started up, a carriage dashed up to the door. She hushed her beating heart and tried to stop her throbbing head to listen. She heard him speaking to the landlord, though she could not distinguish what he said. She heard the jingling of money and in another moment he was in the room and had taken her arm to lead her to the carriage. Oh, sir, I want you to take me to Milam Grange," said she, holding back. Oh, Thomas would give me a home. Oh, dearest, we'll talk of all that in the carriage. I am sure you will listen to reason. Nay, if you will go to Milam, you must go in the carriage," said he hurriedly. She was little accustomed to oppose the wishes of anyone, obedient and docile by nature, an unsuspicious and innocent of any harmful consequences. She entered the carriage and drove towards London. End of Chapter 4. Chapter 5 of Ruth This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Cynthia Lyons. Ruth by Elizabeth Cleghorn-Gaskell. Chapter 5 in North Wales. The June of 18 year left blank. Had been glorious and sunny and full of flowers, but July came in with pouring rain, and it was a gloomy time for travelers and for weather-bound tourists, who lounged away the days in touching up sketches, dressing flies, and reading over again for the twentieth time the few volumes they had brought with them. A number of the times, five days old, had been in constant demand in all the sitting rooms of a certain inn in a little mountain village of North Wales, through a long July morning. The valleys around were filled with thick cold mist, which had crept up the hillsides, till the hamlet itself was folded in its white dense curtain, and from the inn windows nothing was seen of the beautiful scenery around. The tourists who thronged the rooms might as well have been with their dear little bernies at home, and so some of them seemed to think as they stood with their faces flattened against the window panes, looking abroad in search of an event to fill up the dreary time. How many dinners were hastened that day by way of getting through the morning? Let the poor Welsh kitchenmaid say. The very village children kept indoors, or if one or two more adventurers stole out into the land of temptation and puddles, they were soon clutched back by angry and busy mothers. It was only four o'clock, but most of the inmates of the inn thought it must be between six and seven. The morning had seemed so long, so many hours had passed since dinner, when a Welsh car drawn by two horses rattled briskly up to the door. Every window of the ark was crowded with faces at the sound. The leather curtains were undrawn to their curious eyes and out sprang a gentleman who carefully assisted a well cloaked-up lady into the little inn, despite the landlady's assurances of not having a room to spare. The gentleman, it was Mr. Bellingham, paid no attention to the speeches of the hostess, but quietly superintended the unpacking of the carriage, and paid the postillion. Then, turning round with his face to the light, he spoke to the landlady, whose voice had been rising during the last five minutes. Nay, Jenny, you're strangely altered if you can turn out an old friend on such an evening as this. If I remember right, Pantry Volus is twenty miles across the bleakest mountain road I ever saw. Indeed, sir, and I did not know you, Mr. Bellingham. I believe. Indeed, sir, Pantry Volus is not above eighteen miles. We only charge for eighteen. It may not be much above seventeen. And we're quite full. Indeed, Moore's Pity. Well, but Jenny, to oblige me an old friend, you can find lodgings out for some of your people that house across the street, for instance. Indeed, sir, and it's at liberty. Perhaps you would not mind lodging there yourself. I could get you the best rooms and send over a trifle or so of furniture if they weren't as you'd wish them to be. No, Jenny, here I stay. You'll not induce me to venture over into these rooms, whose dirt I know of old. Can't you persuade someone who is not an old friend to move across? Say, if you like, that I had written beforehand to bespeak the rooms. Oh, I know you can manage it. I know your good-natured ways. Indeed, sir, well, I'll see. If you and the lady will just step into the back parlor, sir. There's no one there just now. The lady is keeping her bed to-day for a cold, and the gentleman is having a rubber at wist in number three. I'll see what I can do. Thank you, thank you. Is there a fire? If not, one must be lighted. Come, Ruthie, come. He led the way into a large, bow-windowed room, which looked gloomy enough that afternoon, but which I have seen bright and buoyant with youth and hope within, and sunny lights creeping down the purple mountain slope, and stealing over the green soft meadows, till they reached the little garden, full of roses and lavender bushes, lying close under the window. I have seen, but I shall see no more. I did not know you had been here before, said Ruth, as Mr. Bellingham helped her off with her cloak. Oh, yes, three years ago I was here on a reading party. We were here above two months, attracted by Jenny's kind heart and oddities, but driven away finally by the insufferable dirt. However, for a week or two it won't much signify. But can she take us in? I thought her saying her house was full. Oh, yes, I dare say it is, but I shall pay her well. She can easily make excuses to some poor devil and send him over to the other side, for a day or two, so that we have shelter. It does not much signify. Could not we go to the house on the other side? And have our meals carried across to us in a half-warm state to say nothing of having no one to scold for bad cooking? You don't know these out of the way Welsh is yet, Ruthie. No, I only thought it seemed rather unfair, said Ruth gently. But she did not end her sentence, for Mr. Bellingham formed his lips into a whistle and walked to the window to survey the rain. The remembrance of his former good payment prompted many little lies of which Mrs. Morgan was guilty that afternoon, before she succeeded in turning out a gentleman and lady who were only planning to remain till the ensuing Saturday at the outside. So if they did not fulfill their threat and leave on the next day, she would be no very great loser. These household arrangements complete. She solids herself with tea in her own little parlor and shrewdly reviewed the circumstances of Mr. Bellingham's arrival. Indeed, and she's not his wife, thought Jenny, that's clear as day. His wife would have brought her maid and given herself twice as many heirs about the sitting-rooms. While this poor miss never spoke, but kept as still as a mouse, indeed, and young men will be young men, and as long as their fathers and mothers shut their eyes, it's none of my business to go about asking questions. In this manner they settled down to a week's enjoyment of that alpine country. It was most true enjoyment to Ruth. It was opening a new sense. Vast ideas of beauty and grandeur filled her mind at the site of the mountains, now first beheld in full majesty. She was almost overpowered by the vague and solemn delight, but by and by her love for them equalled her awe, and in the nighttime she would softly rise and steal to the window to see the white moonlight, which gave a new aspect to the everlasting hills that girdle the mountain village. Their breakfast hour was late, in accordance with Mr. Bellingham's tastes and habits, but Ruth was up at times, and out and away, brushing the dewdrops from the short, crisp grass. The lark sung high above her head, and she knew not if she moved or stood still, for the grandeur of this beautiful earth absorbed all idea of separate and individual existence. Even rain was a pleasure to her. She sat in the window seat of their parlor. She would have gone out gladly, but that such a proceeding annoyed Mr. Bellingham, who usually, at such times, lounged away the listless hours on a sofa and relieved himself by abusing the weather. She saw the swift fleeting showers come a-thwart the sunlight like a rush of silver arrows, and she watched the purple darkness on the heathery mountainside, and then the pale golden gleam which succeeded. There was no change or alteration of nature that had not its own peculiar beauty in the eyes of Ruth. But if she had complained of the changeable climate, she would have pleased Mr. Bellingham more. Her admiration and her content made him angry, until her pretty motions and loving eyes soothed down his impatience. Really, Ruth, he exclaimed one day when they had been imprisoned by rain a whole morning. One would think you had never seen a shower of rain before. It quite wearies me to see you sitting there watching this detestable weather with such a placid countenance. And for the last two hours you have said nothing more amusing or interesting than, oh, how beautiful, or there's another cloud coming across Mowyn. Ruth left her seat very gently and took up her work. She wished she had the gift of being amusing. It must be dull for a man accustomed to all kinds of active employments to be shut up in the house. She was recalled from her absolute self-forgetfulness. What could she say to interest Mr. Bellingham while she thought he spoke again? I remember when we were reading here three years ago. We had a week of just such weather as this. But Howard and Johnson were capital wist players and Wilburham not bad, so he got through the days famously. Can you play a card, Ruth, or PK? No, sir. I have sometimes played at beggar my neighbor, answered Ruth humbly, regretting her own deficiencies. He murmured impatiently, and then there was silence for another half-hour. Then he sprang up and rang the bell violently. Ask Mrs. Morgan for a pack of cards, Ruthie. I'll teach you a card, said he. But Ruth was stupid, not so good as a dummy, he said, and it was no fun betting against himself. So the cards were flung across the table, on the floor, anywhere. Ruth picked them up. As she rose, she sighed a little with the depression of spirits consequent upon her own want of power to amuse and occupy him. She loved. Your pale love, said he, half repenting of his anger at her blunders over the cards. Go out before dinner. You know you don't mind this cursed weather and see that you come home full of adventure to relate. Come, little blockhead, give me a kiss and be gone. She left the room with a feeling of relief. For, if he were dull without her, she should not feel responsible and unhappy at her own stupidity. The open air, that kind of soothing balm which gentle mother nature offers to us all in our seasons of depression, relieved her. The rain had ceased, though every leaf and blade was loaded with trembling glittering drops. Ruth went down to the circular dale into which the brown foaming mountain river fell and made a deep pool, and after resting there for a while ran on between broken rocks down to the valley below. The waterfall was magnificent as she had anticipated. She longed to extend her walk to the other side of the street, so she sought the stepping stones, the usual crossing place which were overshadowed by trees a few yards from the pool. The waters ran high and rapidly, as busy as life between the pieces of grey rock, but Ruth had no fear and went lightly and steadily on. About the middle, however, there was a great gap. Either one of the stones was so covered with water as to be invisible or it had been washed lower down. At any rate, the spring from stone to stone was long and Ruth hesitated for a moment before taking it. The sound of rushing waters was in her ears to the exclusion of every other noise. Her eyes were on the current running swiftly below her feet and thus she was startled to see a figure close before her on one of the stones and to hear a voice offering help. She looked up and saw a man who was apparently long past middle life and of the stature of a dwarf, a second glance accounted for the low height of the speaker, for then she saw he was deformed. As the consciousness of this infirmity came into her mind it must have told itself in her softened eyes, for a faint flush of colour came into the pale face of the deformed gentleman as he repeated his words. The water is very rapid. Will you take my hand? Perhaps I can help you. Ruth accepted the offer and with this assistance she was across in a moment. He made way for her to proceed him in the narrow wood path and then he silently followed her up the glen. When they had passed out of the wood into the pasture land beyond Ruth once more turned to mark him. She was struck afresh with the mild beauty of the face, though there was something in the countenance which told of the body's deformity, something more and beyond the pallor of habitual ill health, something of a quick spiritual light in the deep-set eyes, a sensibility about the mouth, but altogether, though a peculiar, it was a most attractive face. Will you allow me to accompany you if you were going around by kumdu, as I imagine you are? The handrail is blown away from the little wooden bridge by the storm last night and the rush of waters below may make you dizzy and it is really dangerous to fall there. The stream is so deep. They walked on without much speech. She wondered who her companion might be. She should have known him if she had seen him among the strangers at the inn and yet he spoke English too well to be a Welshman. He knew the country and the path so perfectly he must be a resident, so she tossed him from England to Wales and back again in her imagination. I only came here yesterday, said he, as a widening in the path permitted them to walk abreast. Last night I went to the higher waterfalls. They are most splendid. Did you go out in all that rain? asked Ruth timidly. Oh yes, rain never hinders me from walking. Indeed, it gives a new beauty to such a country as this. Besides, my time for my excursion is so short I cannot afford to waste a day. Then you do not live here, asked Ruth. No, my home is in a very different place. I live in a busy town where, at times, it is difficult to feel the truth that there are in this loud, stunning tide of human care and crime with whom the melodies abide of the everlasting chime who carry music in their heart through dusky lane and crowded mart, plying their task with busier feet because their secret souls a holy strain repeat. I have an annual holiday which I generally spend in Wales and often in this immediate neighborhood. I do not wonder at your choice, replied Ruth. It is a beautiful country. It is indeed, and I have been inoculated by an old innkeeper at Conway with a love for its people and history and traditions. Ruth picked up enough of the language to understand many of their legends and some are very fine and awe-inspiring, others very poetic and fanciful. Ruth was too shy to keep up the conversation by any remark of her own, although his gentle, pensive manner was very winning. For instance, said he, a long, bud-laden stem of fox-glove in the hedge-aid at the bottom of which one or two crimson-specked flowers were bursting from their green sheaths. I daresay you don't know what makes this fox-glove bend and sway so gracefully. You think it is blown by the wind, don't you? He looked at her with a grave smile which did not enliven his thoughtful eyes and gave an inexpressible sweetness to his face. I always thought it was the wind. What is it? asked Ruth innocently. Oh, the Welsh tell you that this flower is sacred to the fairies and that it has the power of recognizing them and all spiritual beings who pass by and that it bows in deference to them as they waft along. Its Welsh name is Maneg Elelyn, the good people's glove and hence, I imagine, our fox's glove or fox's glove. It is a very pretty fancy, said Ruth, much interested and wishing that he would go on without expecting her to reply. But they were already at the wooden bridge. He led her across and then, bowing his adieu, he had taken a different path even before Ruth had thanked him for his attention. It was an adventure to tell Mr. Bellingham, however, and it aroused and amused him till dinner time came, after which he sauntered forth with a cigar. Ruth said he when he returned, I've seen your little hunchback. He looks like Rickett with the tuft. He's not a gentleman, though. If it had not been for his deformity I should not have made him out from your description. You called him a gentleman. And don't you, asked Ruth, surprised? Oh, no, he's regularly shabby and seedy in his appearance. Lodging, too, the Ostler told me over that horrible candle and cheese-shop the smell of which is insufferable twenty yards off. No gentleman could endure it. He must be a traveller or artist or something of that kind. Did you see his face, asked Ruth? No, but a man's back, his tut ensemble has character enough in it to decide his rank. His face was very singular, quite beautiful, said she softly, but the subject did not interest Mr. Bellingham and he let it drop. End of chapter five. Chapter six, Ruth. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Cynthia Lyons. Ruth by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell. Chapter six, Troubles Gather About Ruth. The next day the weather was brave and glorious, a perfect bridle of the earth and sky and everyone turned out of the inn to enjoy the fresh beauty of nature. Ruth was quite unconscious of being the object of remark and in her light rapid passings to and fro had never looked at the doors and windows where many watchers stood observing her and commenting upon her situation or her appearance. She's a very lovely creature, said one gentleman, rising from the breakfast table to catch a glimpse of her as she entered from her morning's ramble. Not above sixteen, I should think, very modest and innocent looking in her white gown. His wife, busy administering to the wands of a fine little boy, could only say without seeing the young girl's modest ways and gentle downcast countenance. Well, I do think it's a shame such people should be allowed to come here to think of such wickedness under the same roof. Do come away, my dear, and don't flatter her by such notice. The husband returned to the breakfast table. He smelt the broiled ham and eggs and he heard his wife's commands. Whether smelling or hearing had most to do in causing his obedience, I cannot tell. Perhaps you can. Now, Harry, go and see if nurse and baby are ready to go out with you. You must lose no time this beautiful morning. Ruth found Mr. Bellingham was not yet come down, so she sallied out for an additional half-hour's ramble, flitting about through the village, trying to catch all the beautiful sunny peeps at the scenery between the cold stone houses, which through the radiant distance into aerial perspective far away, she passed by the little shop, and just issuing from it came the nurse and baby and little boy. The baby sat in placid dignity in her nurse's arms with the face of queenly calm. Her fresh, soft, peachy complexion was really tempting, and Ruth, who was always fond of children, went up to coo and to smile at the little thing, and after some peep-bonging she was about to snatch a kiss. When Harry, whose face had been reddening ever since the play began, lifted up his sturdy little right arm and hit Ruth a great blow on the face. Oh, for shame, sir, said the nurse, snatching back his hand. How dare you do that to the lady who is so kind as to speak to Sissy! She's not a lady, said he indignantly. She's a bad naughty girl. Mama said so, she did, and she shan't kiss our baby. The nurse reddened in her turn. She knew what he must have heard, but it was awkward to bring it out, standing face to face with the elegant young lady. Children pick up such notions, ma'am, said she at last apologetically to Ruth, who stood white and still, with a new idea running through her mind. It's no notion, it's true nurse, and I heard you say it yourself. Go away, naughty woman, said the boy, in infantile vehemence of passion to Ruth. To the nurse's infinite relief, Ruth turned away, humbly and meekly, with bent head and slow, uncertain steps. But as she turned, she saw the mild, sad face of the deformed gentleman who was sitting at the open window above the shop. He looked sadder and graver than ever, and his eyes met her glance with an expression of deep sorrow, so condemned alike by youth and age. She stole with timid step into the house. Mr. Bellingham was awaiting her in the sitting-room. The glorious day restored all his buoyancy of spirits. He talked gaily away, without pausing for a reply, while Ruth made tea and tried to calm her heart, which was yet beating with the agitation of the new ideas she had received from the occurrence of the morning. Luckily for her the only answer required for some time were monosyllables, but those few words were uttered in so depressed and mournful atone that at last they struck Mr. Bellingham with surprise and displeasure, as the condition of mind they unconsciously implied did not harmonize with his own. Ruth, what is the matter this morning? You really are very provoking. Today when everything was gloomy, and you might have been aware that I was out of spirits, I heard nothing but expressions of delight. Today when every creature under heaven is rejoicing, you look most deplorable and wobagon. You really should learn to have a little sympathy. The tears fell quickly down Ruth's cheeks, but she did not speak. She could not put into words the sense she was just beginning to entertain of the estimation in which she was henceforward to be held. She thought he would be as much grieved as she was at what had taken place that morning. She fancied she should sink in his opinion if she told him how others regarded her. Besides, it seemed ungenerous to dilate upon the suffering of which he was the cause. I will not, she thought. In bitter his life I will try and be cheerful. I must not think of myself so much. If I can but make him happy, what need I care for chance speeches? Accordingly she made every effort possible to be as light-hearted as he was. But somehow the moment she relaxed thoughts would intrude and wonders would force themselves upon her mind that altogether she was not the gay and bewitching companion Mr. Bellingham had previously found her. They sauntered out for a walk. The path they chose led to a wood on the side of a hill, and they entered, glad of the shade of the trees. At first it appeared like any common grove, but they soon came to a deep descent on the summit of which they stood, laying down on the treetops, which were softly waving far beneath their feet. There was a path leading sharp down, and they followed it. The ledge of rock made it almost like going down steps, and their walk grew into a bounding, and their bounding into a run before they reached the lowest plain. A green gloom reigned there, and it was the still hour of noon. The little birds were quiet in some leafy shade. They went on a few yards, and then they came to a circular pool overshadowed by the trees, whose highest boughs had been beneath their feet a few minutes before. The pond was hardly below the surface of the ground, and there was nothing like a bank on any side. A heron was standing there motionless, but when he saw them, he flapped his wings and slowly rose, and soared above the green heights of the wood up into the very sky itself. For at that depth, the trees appeared to touch the round white clouds which brooded over the earth. The speedwell grew in the shallowest water of the pool, and all around its margin, but the flowers were hardly seen at first, and the deep was the green shadow cast by the trees. In the very middle of the pond, the sky was mirrored clear and dark, a blue which looked as if her black void lay behind. Oh, there are water lilies, said Ruth, her eye catching on the farther side. I must go and get some. No, I will get them for you. The ground is spongy all round there. Sit still, Ruth. This heap of grass will make a capital C. He waited quietly for his return. When he came back he took off her bonnet without speaking and began to place his flowers in her hair. She was quite still while he arranged her carnet, looking up in his face with loving eyes, with a peaceful composure. She knew that he was pleased from his manner, which had the joyousness of a child playing with a new toy, and she did not think twice of his occupation. It was pleasant to forget everything except his pleasure. When he had decked her out, he said, There, Ruth, now you'll do. Come and look at yourself in the pond. Here, where there are no weeds, come. She obeyed and could not help seeing her own loveliness. It gave her a sense of satisfaction for an instant, as the sight of any other beautiful object would have done, but she never thought of associating it with herself. She knew that she was beautiful, but that seemed abstract and removed from herself. Her existence was in feeling and thinking and loving. Down in that green hollow they were quite in harmony. Her beauty was all that Mr. Bellingham cared for, and it was supreme. It was all he recognized of her, and he was proud of it. She stood in her white dress against the trees which grew around. Her face was flushed into a brilliancy of color which resembled that of a rose in June. The great, heavy, white flowers drooped on either side of her beautiful head, and if her brown hair was a little disordered, the very disorder only seemed to add a grace. She pleased him more by looking so lovely than by all her tender endeavors to fall in with his varying humor. But when they left the wood and Ruth had taken out her flowers and resumed her bonnet as they came near the inn, the simple thought of giving him pleasure was not enough to secure Ruth's peace. She came pensive and sad and could not rally into gaiety. Really, Ruth, said he that evening, you must not encourage yourself in this habit of falling into melancholy reveries without any cause. You have been sighing twenty times during the last half hour. Do be a little cheerful, remember. I have no companion but you in this out-of-the-way place. I am very sorry, said Ruth, her eyes filling with tears, and then she remembered that it was very dull for him to be alone with her, as she had been all day. She said in a sweet, penitent tone, would you be so kind as to teach me one of those games at cards you were speaking about yesterday? I would do my best to learn. Her soft murmuring voice won its way. They rang for the cards, and he soon forgot that there was such a thing as depression or gloom in the world, in the pleasure of teaching such a beautiful ignoramus the mysteries of card-playing. There, said he at last, that's enough for one lesson. Do you know, little goose, your blunders have made me laugh myself into one of the worst headaches I have had for years. He threw himself on the sofa, and in an instant she was by his side. Let me put my cool hands on your forehead, she begged. That used to do mamma good. He lay still, his face away from the light and not speaking. Presently he fell asleep. Ruth put out the candles and sat patiently by him for a long time. Fancying he would awaken refreshed. The room grew cold in the night air, but Ruth dared not rouse him from what appeared to be a sound restoring slumber. She covered him with her shawl, which she had thrown over a chair on coming in from their twilight ramble. She had ample time to think, but she tried to banish thought. At last his breathing became quick and oppressed, and after listening to it for some minutes, with increasing affright, Ruth ventured to awaken him. He seemed stupefied and shivery. Ruth became more and more terrified. All the household were asleep except one servant girl who was wearied out of what little English she had knowledge of in more waking hours, and could only answer, yes indeed, ma'am, to any question put to her by Ruth. She sat by the bedside all night long. He moaned and tossed, but never spoke sensibly. It was a new form of illness to the miserable Ruth. Her yesterday's suffering went into the black distance of long past years. The present was all in all. When she heard people stirring, she went in search of Mrs. Morgan, whose shrewd shop manners, unsoffered by inward respect for the poor girl, had awed Ruth, even when Mr. Bellingham was by to protect her. Mrs. Morgan, she said, sitting down in the little parlour appropriated to the landlady, for she felt her strength suddenly desert her. Mrs. Morgan, I'm afraid Mr. Bellingham is very ill. Here she burst into tears, but instantly checking herself. Oh, what must I do, continued she. I don't think he has known anything all through the night, and he looks so strange and wild this morning. She gazed into Mrs. Morgan's face, as if reading an oracle. Indeed, Miss, ma'am, and it's a very awkward thing, but don't cry, that can do no good. Indeed, it can't. I'll go and see the poor young man myself, and then I can judge if a doctor is wanting. Ruth followed Mrs. Morgan upstairs. When they entered the sick-room, Mr. Bellingham was sitting up in bed, looking wildly about him, and as he saw them, he exclaimed, Ruth, Ruth, come here. I won't be left alone. And then he fell down exhausted on the pillow. Mrs. Morgan went up and spoke to him, but he did not answer or take any notice. I'll send for Mr. Jones, my dear deed, and I will. We'll have him here in a couple of hours, please, God. Oh, can't he come sooner, asked Ruth, while with Tara? Did know he lives at Langlass when he's home, and that's seven miles away, and he may be gone around eight or nine miles on the other side Langlass, but I'll send a boy on the pony directly. Saying this, Mrs. Morgan left Ruth alone. There was nothing to be done, for Mr. Bellingham had fallen into heavy sleep. Sounds of daily life began. Bells rang, breakfast services clattering up and down the passages, and Ruth sat on shivering by the bedside in that darkened room. Mrs. Morgan sent her breakfast upstairs by a chambermaid, but Ruth motioned it away in her sick agony, and the girl had no right to urge her to partake of it. That alone broke the monotony of the long morning. She heard the sound of merry parties setting out on excursions, on horseback or in carriages, and once stiff and wearied, she stole to the window, and looked out on one side of the blind. But the day looked bright and discordant to her aching, anxious heart. The gloom of the darkened room was better and more befitting. It was some hours after he was summoned before the doctor made his appearance. He questioned his patient, and, receiving no coherent answer, he asked Ruth concerning the symptoms, but when she questioned him in turn, he only shook his head and looked grave. He made a sign to Mrs. Morgan to follow him out of the room, and they went down to her parlor, leaving Ruth in a depth of despair, lower than she could have thought it possible there remained for her to experience an hour before. I'm afraid this is a bad case, said Mr. Jones to Mrs. Morgan in Welsh. A brain fever has evidently set in. Poor young gentleman, poor young man, he looked the very picture of health. That very appearance of robustness will, in all probability, make his disorder more violent. However, we must hope for the best, Mrs. Morgan. Who is to attend upon him? He will require careful nursing. Is that young lady his sister? She looks too young to be his wife. No, indeed, gentlemen like you must know, Mr. Jones, that we can't always look too closely into the ways of young men who come into our houses. Not but what I am sorry for her, for she's an innocent, inoffensive young creature. I always think it right for my own morals to put a little scorn into my manners when such as her come to stay here. But, indeed, she's so gentle, I found it hard work to show the proper contempt. She would have gone on to her inattentive listener if she had not heard a low tap at the door which recalled her from her morality and Mr. Jones from his consideration of the necessary prescriptions. Come in, said Mrs. Morgan sharply, and Ruth came in. She was white and trembling, but she stood in that dignity which strong feeling, kept down by self-command, always imparts. I wish you, sir, to be so kind as to tell me clearly and distinctly what I must do for Mr. Bellingham. Every direction you give me shall be most carefully attended to. You spoke about leeches. I can put them on and see about them. Tell me everything, sir, that you wish to have done. Her manner was calm and serious, and her countenance and deportment showed that the occasion was calling out strength sufficient to meet it. Mr. Jones spoke with a deference which he had not thought of using upstairs, even while he supposed her to be the sister of the invalid. Ruth listened gravely. She repeated some of the injunctions in order that she might be sure that she fully comprehended them, and then Bowing left the room. She is no common person, said Mr. Jones. Still, she is too young to have the responsibility of such a serious case. Have you any idea where his friends live, Mrs. Morgan? Indeed, and I have. His mother, as haughtier lady as you would wish to see, came travelling through Wales last year. She stopped here, and I warn you, nothing was good enough for her. She was real quality. She left some clothes and books behind her, for the maid was almost as fine as the mistress, and little thought of seeing after her lady's clothes, having a taste for going scenery along with the man-servant. And we had several letters from her. I have them locked in the drawers in the bar, where I keep such things. Well, I should recommend your writing to the lady, and telling her her son's state. It would be a favour, Mr. Jones, if you would just write it yourself. English writing comes so strange to my pen. The letter was written, and in order to save time, Mr. Jones took it to the Langlass Post Office. Chapter 7 of Ruth. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Cynthia Lyons. Ruth by Elizabeth Clegg Horan Gaskell. Chapter 7. The Crisis, Watching and Waiting. Ruth put away every thought of the past or future, everything that could unfit her for the duties of the present. Exceeding love supplied the place of experience. She never left the room after the first day. She forced herself to eat because his service needed her strength. She did not indulge in any tears, because the weeping she longed for would make her less able to attend upon him. She watched and waited and prayed, prayed with an utter forgetfulness of self, only with a consciousness that God was all-powerful, and that he whom she loved so much needed the aid of the mighty one. Day and night, the summer night, seemed merged into one. She lost count of time in the hushed and darkened room. One morning Mrs. Morgan beckoned her out, and she stole on tiptoe into the dazzling gallery, on one side of which the bedrooms opened. She's come, whispered Mrs. Morgan, looking very much excited and forgetting that Ruth had never heard that Mrs. Bellingham had been summoned. Who has come, asked Ruth? The idea of Mrs. Mason flashed through her mind, but with a more terrible, because a more vague, dread, she heard it was his mother, the mother of whom he had always spoken as a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual. What must I do? Will she be angry with me? Said she, relapsing into her childlike dependence on others, and feeling that even Mrs. Morgan was someone to stand between her and Mrs. Bellingham. Mrs. Morgan herself was a little perplexed. Her morality was rather shocked at the idea of a proper real lady like Mrs. Bellingham discovering that she had winked at the connection between her son and Ruth. She was quite inclined to encourage Ruth in her inclination to shrink out of Mrs. Bellingham's observation, an inclination which arose from no definite consciousness of having done wrong, but principally from the representations she had always heard of the lady's awfulness. Mrs. Bellingham swept into her son's room as if she were unconscious what poor young creature had lately haunted it. While Ruth hurried into some unoccupied bedroom and alone there, she felt her self-restraint suddenly give way and burst into the saddest, most utterly wretched weeping she had ever known. She was worn out with watching and exhausted by passionate crying, and she lay down on the bed and fell asleep. The day passed on. She slumbered unnoticed and unregarded. She awoke late in the evening with a sense of having done wrong and sleeping so long. The strain upon her responsibility had not yet left her. Twilight was closing fast around. She waited until it had become night, and then she stole down to Mrs. Morgan's parlor. If you please, may I come in, asked she. Jenny Morgan was doing up the hieroglyphics which she called her accounts. She answered sharp enough, but it was a permission to enter and Ruth was thankful for it. Will you tell me how he is? Do you think I may go back to him? No, indeed, that you may not. Nest, who has made his room tidy these many days, is not fit to go in now. Mrs. Bellingham has brought her own maid and the family nurse and Mr. Bellingham's man, such a tribe of servants and no end to packages, water-beds, coming but by the carrier and a doctor from London coming down to-morrow, as if feather-beds and Mr. Jones was not good enough. Why, she won't let a soul of us into the room, there's no chance for you. Ruth sighed. How is he, she inquired after a pause. How can I tell indeed when I am not allowed to go near him? Mr. Jones said tonight was a turning point, but I doubt it, for it is four days since he was taken ill and who ever heard of a sick person taking a turn on an even number of days. It is all the way on the third or the fifth or the seventh and so on. He'll not turn till to-morrow night, take my word for it, and their fine London doctor will get all the credit and honest Mr. Jones will be thrown aside. I don't think he will get better myself, though Guler does not howl for nothing. My patience, what's the matter with the girl? Lord child, you're never going to faint. And be ill on my hands. Her sharp voice recalled Ruth from the sick unconsciousness that had been creeping over her as she listened to the latter part of this speech. She sat down and could not speak, the room, world, round and round. Her white feebleness touched Mrs. Morgan's heart. You've had tea, I guess, indeed, and the girls are very careless. She rang the bell with energy and seconded her pull by going to the door and shouting out sharp directions in Welsh to Nest and Gwyn and the three or four other rough kind slatternly servants. They brought her tea, which was comfortable according to the idea of comfort prevalent in that rude, hospitable place. There was plenty to eat. Too much, indeed, for it revolted the appetite it was intended to provoke. But the hardiness with which the kind, rosy waiter pressed her to eat and the scolding Mrs. Morgan gave her when she found the butter toast untouched, toast on which she herself had desired that the butter might not be spared. Did Ruth more good than the tea? She began to hope and to long for the morning when hope might have become certainty. It was all in vain that she was told that the room she had been in all day was at her service. She did not say a word, but she was not going to bed that night of all nights in the year when life or death hung trembling in the balance. She went into the bedroom till the bustling house was still and heard busy feet passing to and fro into the room she might not enter and voices imperious though hushed down to a whisper ask for innumerable things. Then there was silence and when she thought that all were dead asleep except the watchers she stole out into the gallery. On the other side were two windows cut into the thick stone wall and flower pots were placed on the shelves thus formed where great untrimmed straggling geraniums grew and strove to reach the light. The window near Mr. Bellingham's door was open. The soft warm scented night air came sighing in in faint gusts and then was still. It was summer, there was no black darkness in the twenty-four hours only the light grew dusky and color disappeared from objects of which the shape and form remained distinct. A soft grey oblong of barred light fell on the flat wall opposite to the windows and deeper grey shadows marked out the tracery of the plants more graceful thus than in reality. Ruth crouched where no light fell. She sat on the ground close by the door her whole existence was absorbed in listening all was still it was only her heart beating with a strong heavy regular sound of a hammer. She wished she could stop its rushing incessant clang. She heard a rustle of a silken gown and knew it ought not to have been worn in a sick room for her senses seemed to have passed into the keeping of the invalid and to feel only as he felt. The noise was probably occasioned by some change of posture in the watcher inside for it was once more dead still. The soft wind outside sank with a low long distant moan among the windings of the hills and lost itself there and came no more again. But Ruth's heart beat loud. She rose with as little noise as if she were a vision and crept to the open window to try and lose the nervous listening for the ever recurring sound. Out beyond under the calm sky veiled with a mist rather than with a cloud rose the high dark outlines of the mountains shutting in that village as if it lay in a nest. They stood like giants solemnly watching for the end of earth and time. Here and there a black round shadow reminded Ruth of some cum or hollow where she and her lover had rambled in sun and in gladness. She then thought the land enchanted into everlasting brightness and happiness. She fancied then that into a region as lovely no bale or woe could enter but would be charmed away and disappear before the sight of the glorious guardian mountains. Now she knew the truth that earth has no barrier which avails against agony. It comes lightning like down from heaven and into the mountain house and into the town garret and into the palace and into the cottage. The garden lay close under the house a bright spot enough by day for in that soil whatever was planted grew and blossomed in spite of neglect. The white roses glimmered out in the dusk all the night through the red were lost in shadow. Between the low boundary of the garden in the hills swept one or two green meadows. Ruth looked into the gray darkness till she traced each separate wave of outline. Then she heard a little restless bird chirp out its wakefulness from a nest in the ivy round the walls of the house. But the mother bird spread her soft feathers and hushed it into silence. Presently however many little birds began scent the coming dawn and rustled among the leaves and chirp loud and clear. Just above the horizon too the mist became a silvery gray cloud hanging on the edge of the world. Presently it turned shimmering white and then in an instant it flushed into rose and the mountaintop sprang into heaven and bathed in the presence of the shadow of God. With a bound the sun of a molten fiery red came over above the horizon and immediately thousands of little birds sang out for joy and a soft chorus of mysterious glad murmurs came forth from the earth. The low whispering wind left its hiding place among the clefts and hollows of the hills and wandered among the rustling herbs and trees waking the flower buds to the life of another day. Ruth gave a sigh of relief that the night was over and gone for she knew that soon suspense would be ended and the verdict known whether for life or for death. She grew faint and sick with anxiety. It almost seemed as if she must go into the room and learn the truth. She sat up on the floor with her head thrown back against the wall and her hands clasped around her knees. She had yet to wait. Meanwhile the invalid was slowly rousing himself from a long deep sound health-giving sleep. His mother had sat by him the night through and was now in the room with her head thrown back by him the night through and was now daring to change her position for the first time. She was even venturing to give directions in a low voice to the old nurse who had dozed away in an armchair ready to obey any summons of her mistress. Mrs. Bellingham went on tiptoe toward the door and chiding herself because her stiff, weary limbs made some slight noise. For a few minutes change of scene after her night of watching. She felt that the crisis was over and the relief to her mind made her conscious of every bodily feeling and irritation which had passed unheeded as long as she had been in suspense. She slowly opened the door. Ruth sprang upright at the first sound of the creaking handle. Her very lips were stiff and pliable with the force of the blood which rushed to her head. It seemed as if she could not form words. She stood right before Mrs. Bellingham. How is he, Madam? Mrs. Bellingham was for a moment surprised at the white apparition which seemed to rise out of the ground. But her quick, proud mind understood it all in an instant. This was the girl then whose proflicacy had led her son astray had raised up barriers in the way of her favorite scheme of his marriage with Miss Duncombe. Nay, this was the real cause of his illness, his mortal danger at the present time and of her bitter keen anxiety. If under any circumstances Mrs. Bellingham could have been guilty of the ill-breeding of not answering a question now. And for a moment she was tempted to pass on in silence. Ruth could not wait. She spoke again. For the love of God, Madam, speak, how is he? Will he live? If she did not answer her, she thought the creature was desperate enough to force her way into his room. So she spoke. He has slept well. He is better. Oh, my God, I thank thee, murmured Ruth, sinking back against the wall. It was too much to hear this wretched girl thanking God for her son's life, as if, in fact, she had any lot or part in him. And to dare to speak to the Almighty on her son's behalf, Mrs. Bellingham looked at her with cold, contemptuous eyes, whose glances were like ice-bolts, and made Ruth shiver up away from them. Young woman, if you have any propriety decency left, I trust that you will not dare to force yourself into his room. She stood for a moment as if awaiting an answer and half expecting it to be a defiance. But she did not understand Ruth. She did not imagine the faithful trustfulness of her heart. Ruth believed that if Mr. Bellingham were alive and likely to live, all was well. When he wanted her, he would send for her, ask for her, yearn for her, till everyone would yield before his steadfast will. At present, she imagined that he was probably too weak to care or know who was about him, and though it would have been an infinite delight to her to hover and brood around him, yet it was of him she thought and not of herself. She gently drew herself to the way from Mrs. Bellingham to pass. By and by Mrs. Morgan came up. Ruth was still near the door, from which it seemed as if she could not tear herself away. Indeed, Miss, and you must not hang about the door in this way. It is not pretty manners. Mrs. Bellingham has been speaking very sharp and cross about it, and I shall lose the character of my inn if people take to talking as she does. Did I not give you a room last night to keep in, and never to be seen or heard of? And did I not tell you what a particular lady Mrs. Bellingham was, but you must come out here right in her way? Indeed, it was not pretty, nor grateful to me, Jenny Morgan, and that I must say. Ruth turned away like a chidden child. Mrs. Morgan followed her to her room doing as she went, and then, having cleared her heart after her want by uttering hasty words, her real kindness made her add in a softened tone. You step up here like a good girl. I'll send you your breakfast by and by, and let you know from time to time how he is, and you can go out for a walk, you know, but if you do, I'll take it as a favor if you'll go out by the side door. It will maybe save scandal. All that Ruth kept herself close prisoner in the room to which Mrs. Morgan accorded her, all that day and many succeeding days, but at nights when the house was still and even the little brown mice had gathered up the crumbs and darted back again to their holes, Ruth stole out and crept to his door to catch if she could the sound of his beloved voice. She could tell by its tones how he felt and how he was getting on, as well as any of the watchers in the room. She yearned and pined to see him once more, but she had reasoned herself down into something like patience. When he was well enough to leave his room, when he had not always one of the nurses with him, then he would send for her, and she would tell him how very patient she had been for his dear's sake. But it was long to wait, even with this thought of the manner in which the waiting would end. Poor Ruth, her faith was only building up vain castles in the air. They towered up into heaven. It is true, but after all they were but visions.