 Chapter 14 of the Portrait of a Lady, Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Maya Defidis The Portrait of a Lady, Volume 1 by Henry James Chapter 14 Miss Tuckpole would have prepared to start immediately, but Isabelle, as we have seen, had been notified that Lord Warburton would come again to Galoncourt and she believed in her duty to remain there and see him. For four or five days he had made no response to her letter, and then he had written very briefly to say he would come to London two days later. There was something in these delays and postponements that touched the girl and renewed her sense of his desire to be considerate and patient, not to appear to urge her too grossly. A consideration the most added that she was so sure he really liked her. Isabelle told her uncle she had written to him, mentioning also his intention of coming. And the old man, in consequence, left his room earlier than usual and made his appearance at the two o'clock repast. This was by no means an act of vigilance on his part, but a fruit of a benevolent belief that his being of the company might help to go off on a conjoined train away in case Isabelle should give the noble visitor another hearing. That personage drove over from La Clay and broke the elder of his sisters with him, a measure presumably dictated by reflections of the same order as Mr. Touches. The two visitors were introduced to Mr. Tuck Paul, who at luncheon occupied a seat adjoining Lord Warburton. Isabelle, who was nervous and had no relish for the prospect of again arguing the question he had so prematurely opened, could not help admiring his good human self possession, which quite disguised the symptoms of preoccupation with her presence it was natural she should suppose him to feel. He neither looked at her nor spoke to her, and the only sign of his emotion was that he avoided meeting her eyes. He had plenty of talk for the others, however, and he appeared to eat his luncheon with discrimination and appetite. Miss Moulinne, who had a smooth, none-like forehead and more large silver cross suspended from her neck, was evidently preoccupied with Henrietta's Tuck Paul, upon whom arise constantly retarded in a manner suggesting a conflict between deep alienation and yearning wonder. Of the two ladies from La Clay, she was the one Isabelle had liked best, and there was such a world of hereditary quiet in her. Isabelle was sure, moreover, that a mild foreign silver cross referred to some weird Anglican mystery, some delightful restitution perhaps at the quaint office of the Cannones. She wondered what Miss Moulinne would think of her if she knew Miss Archer had refused her brother. Then she felt sure that Miss Moulinne would never know that Lord Warburton never told her such things. He was fond of her and kind to her, but on the whole he told her little. Such a list was Isabelle's theory. When at table she was not occupied in conversation, she was usually occupied in forming theories about her neighbors. According to Isabelle, if Miss Moulinne should ever learn what had passed between Miss Archer and Lord Warburton, she would probably be shocked at such a girl's failure to rise. No, rather this was Archer's last position. She would impute to the young American better due consciousness of inequality. Whatever Isabelle might have made of her opportunities at all events, Harriet Stackpole was by no means disposed to neglect those in which now found herself immersed. Do you know the first Lord I've ever seen? She said very promptly to her neighbor. Perhaps you personally think I'm awfully benighted? You've escaped seeing some very ugly man, Lord Warburton as a looking at trifle abstently about the table. Not very ugly, they try to make us believe in America that they're all handsome and magnificent and that they wear wonderful robes and crowns. Well, robes and crowns are a gonad of fashions, Lord Warburton like your tomb hoaxes and revolvers. I'm sorry for that, I think in our stock we see all to be splendid, Harriet had declared. If it's not that, what is it? Oh, you know it's a match at best. The neighbor allowed. Won't you have a potato? Madam can match for these European potatoes. I shouldn't know you from an ordinary American gentleman. Do talk to me as if I were once, Lord Warburton. I don't see how you match together without potato. You must find so few things to eat over here. Harriet was silent a little, there was a chance he was not sincere. I'm proud hardly in the appetitons of being here, she went on a last. So it doesn't matter much, I don't approve of you, you know, I feel as if I ought to tell you that. Don't approve of me, yes. I don't suppose anyone ever said such a thing to you before, did they? I don't approve of Lord as an institution. I think the world has got beyond him, far beyond. Oh, so do I. I don't approve of myself in the least. Sometimes it comes over me. How should I object to myself? I will not myself, don't you know? But that's rather good, by the way, not to be vain in the lorries. Why don't you give it up, then? This talk pulled inquire. Give up, huh? Asked Lord Warburton, meeting her harsh inflection with a very male one. Give up being a Lord? Oh, I'm so little of one. But we'll really forget all about it if you ret in America's we're not causally reminding one. However, I do think of giving it up. The little there's left of it, when of these days. I'd also like to see you do it, for in days to claim rather grimly. I'll invite you to this ceremony, and we'll have a supper and a dance. Well, Miss Tadpole, I'd like to see you all size. I don't approve of a privileged class, but I'd like to hear what they have to say for themselves. Mightily you'd like to see me. I'd like to draw you out a little more, or you'd like to continue, but you're only looking away. You're afraid of me, Sima. I see you want to escape me. No, I'm only looking for those destroyed potatoes. Please explain by the young lady, your sister. I don't understand about her. Is she a lady? She's a capital good girl. Men don't like the way you say that, and she wanted to change the subject. Is her position inferior to yours? We neither of us have any position to speak of, but she's better than I, because she has none of the bother. Yes, it doesn't look as if she had much bother. I wish I had as little bother as that. You do produce quiet people over here, whatever else you may do. You see, it won't take life easily on a horse, Lord Robert, and then you know we are very dull. We can be dull when we try. I should advise you to try something else. I should know what to talk to your sister about. She looks different. Is that silver cross a badge? A badge. A sign of rug. Lord Warburton's glance had won the good deal, but at least it made the gaze of his neighbour. Oh yes, he answered in a moment. The women go in for those things. The silver cross is worn by the eldest daughters of Viscounts. Which was his humblest remand for having occasionally had his credibility too easily engaged in America. After luncheon he proposed to Isabel to come into the gallery and look at the pictures. And though she knew he had seen the pictures 20 times, she complied with that criticizing this pretext. Her conscious now was very easy. Ever since she sent him a letter, she had felt particularly light of spirit. He walked slowly to the end of the gallery, staring at its contents, saying nothing, and then he suddenly broke out. They hoped you wouldn't write me that way. To the early way, Lord Warburton, said the girl, do try and believe it. If I could believe it, of course I should let you know, but you can't believe I'm willing it. And I confess I don't understand. I couldn't understand you disliking me. That I couldn't understand well. But that you should admit too. What do I admit to? Isabel interrupted turning slightly pale. They didn't think me a good father. To deny it, she said nothing, and he went on. You don't seem to have any reason, and that gives me a sense of injustice. I have a reason, Lord Warburton. Said it in a tone that meant he's had contract. You should like very much to know it. I'll tell you someday when there's more to show for it. Excuse my saying that in the meantime, I must doubt of it. Make me very unhappy, said Isabel. I'm not sorry for that. It may help you to know how I feel. Will you kindly answer me a question? Isabel made no audible ascent, but he apparently saw in her eyes something with the given courage to go on. To prefer someone else. That's a question I'd rather not answer. Ha! You do then. That she'd remember with bitterness. The bitterness touched her, and she cried out. He was taken, I don't. He sat down on the bench, until he modestly doggedly, like a man in trouble. Leaning his elbows on his knees and staring at the floor. Can't even be glad of it. He said last, throwing himself back against the wall. For that would be his cues. She raised her eyebrows, and she pried. An excuse? You say excused myself. He paid however no answer to the question. Another idea had come into his head. It is my political opinions. Just think I go too far. I can't object to your political opinions, give me that honesty. You don't care what I think, he cried, getting up. It's all the same to you. Isabel walked to the other side of the gallery, and stood there, showing him a charming back, a light slim figure, the length of a white neck as she bent her head, and the density of a dark braids. She stopped in front of a small picture, as if for the purpose of examining it. And there was something so young and free in her movement that I very ployantly seemed to mug at him. Her eyes however stood nothing. They had to lengthen so few to tear. In a moment he followed her, and by this time she had brushed her tears away. But when she turned around her face was pale, and the expression of her eyes changed. The reason that I wouldn't tell you, I'll tell you after all, is that I can't escape my fate. Your fate? I should try to escape it if I wouldn't marry you. I don't understand. There's nothing else. Because it's not, Isabel, feminine. I know it's not. It's not my fate, Giver. I know it can't be. Poor Lord Warburton's tear, an interrogative point in either eye. She called marrying me giving up. Nothing unusual since. It's getting a great deal. It's giving up other chances. Other chances for what? I don't mean chances to marry, said Isabel Harkala quickly coming back to her. Looking down was a deep round, as if it were hopeless to tell her to make her meaning clear. I don't think it presumptuous and it suggests that children more than lose Harkala's pain of thought. I can't escape and happen to Isabel. I'm marrying you. I shall be trying to. I don't know whether to try to be totally rude, that I mustn't counter admit, this clean-witted, naïve life. I mustn't, I can't, cried the girl. Well, if you're bent on being miserable, I don't see why you should make me so. Whatever charms a life of misery may have for you, it has none for me. I'm not bent on the life of misery, said Isabel. I've always been intensely determined to be happy, and I've often believed I should be. After all, people, you can ask them, but it comes over me every now and then, and I can never be happy and destroyed in a way. Not by turning away, but by separating myself. By separating yourself from what? From life, from the usual chances and dangers from what most people know and suffer. Lord Warburton broke your smile that almost never did hope. Oh, my dear Miss Atra, I began to explain with the most considerate eagerness. I don't offer you any exoneration from life or from any chances, stages, whatever. I wish I could, depending upon it I would. Would you take me, pray, having helped me another hammer of China? All I offer you is a chance of taking the common love in a comfortable sort of way. The common love, I'm devoted to the common love, struck in the lines with me, and I promise you that I'll have plenty of it. It's all separate from nothing, whenever, but even from your friend Miss Tadpole. She'd never approve of it, said Isabel, trying to smile and take advantage of this sad issue. Despiteing herself, too, not a little for doing so. Oh, speaking of Miss Tadpole, his lordship asking patiently, I never saw a person just thinkin' such a theoretic ground. Now, I suppose you're speaking of me, said Isabel, with humility. And she turned away again, for she saw Miss Milner enter the gallery accompanied by Harriet Anne by Ralph. Lord Warburton's sister addressed him with a sudden timidity and reminded him she ought to return home in time for tea, and she was expecting company to partake of it. He made no answer, apparently not having heard of her. He was preoccupied and with good reason. Miss Milner, as if he had been royalty, stood like a lad in waiting. Well, I never, Miss Milner said hurriedly to Tadpole. If I wanted to go, it had to go. From what he'd been brought, not to do a thing, it had to do it. Oh, Warburton does everything one wants, Miss Milner answered with a quick, shy laugh. However many pictures you have, she went in turning to Ralph. Well, I look a good man and because they're all put together, said Ralph, but it's really your bad way. Oh, I think it's so nice. I wish we had a gallery a lot, Clay. I was so very far off pictures, at least when he went on, persistently to Ralph, as if she were afraid Miss Tadpole would address her again. Harriet Anne appeared most fascinated and too frightened of her. I, as pictures are very convenient, said Ralph, who appeared to know better that style of affection was acceptable to her. They're so very pleasant when it rains. The young lady continued, it has rain of lanes, so very often. I'm sorry you're going away, Lord Warburton, said Harriet Anne. I wanted to get a great deal more out of you. Not going away, Lord Warburton answered. The sister says you must and America the gentleman obeyed the lady. I'm afraid we'll have some people to tease Miss Milner, looking at her brother. We're good, my dear, I'll go. I hoped you would resist, Redex claimed. I wanted to see what Miss Milner would do. I might never do anything, said his young lady. I suppose new positions are sufficient for you to exist, Miss Tadpole returned. I so'd like to emerge to see you at home. You must come to luck, like again, said Miss Milner, very sweetly to Isabelle, ignoring this remark of Isabelle's friend. The other looked into her quiet eyes moment, and for that moment seemed to see in their great depth the reflection of everything she had rejected in rejecting Lord Warburton. The peace, the kindness, the honor, the possessions, a deep security and a great exclusion. She kissed Miss Milner, and then she said, I'm afraid I can never come again. Never again, I'm afraid I'm going away. Oh, I'm so very sorry, said Miss Milner, nothing that's so very wrong of you. Lord Warburton watched this little passage, then he turned away and stared at the picture, Ralph leaning against the rail before the picture with his hands in his pockets, half of the moment been watching him. I so'd like to see you at home, said Harriet, whom Lord Warburton found inside him. I so'd like to now talk with you. There are a great many questions I wish to ask you. So I'd be delighted to see you, the proprietor of Lockley, answer, but I'm certain not to be able to answer many of your questions. When will you come? Whenever Miss Archer will take me, we're thinking of going to London, but we'll go and see you first. I'm determined to get some satisfaction out of you. If it depends on Miss Archer, I'm afraid you won't get much. She won't come to Lockley, she doesn't like the place. She told me it was lovely, said Harriet. Lord Warburton hesitated. She won't come, all said, your heart better come alone, he added. Harriet had straightened herself and the large eyes expanded. Would you make that remark in English, lady? She had equality, soft disparity. Lord Warburton stared. Yes, if I liked her enough. She became not to like her enough. We miss Archer won't be able to play the games because she doesn't want to take me. I know what she thinks of me, but I suppose you think the same. But I want you to bring in individuals. Lord Warburton was at last, had not been made acquainted with his tack-poles professional character and failed to catch her illusion. Miss Archer had been mourning you, she therefore went there. Warning me? Isn't that why she came out of love with you here to put you on your guard? I don't know, said Lord Warburton, brazenly. I had a talk and noticed a solemn character of that. Well, we've been on your guard intensely. I suppose it's natural to you. That's just what I wanted to observe. And so too, Miss Molina, she wouldn't come herself. You've been wronged anyway, hurry to continue dressing me, but for you it wasn't necessary. I hope not, Miss Molina vaguely. Miss Stark built ex-notes, rough, soothingly explained. She's a great satirist. She sees through her soul and she woke us up. What I must say, on behalf of Archer to collect some bad material, Archer declared, looking from Isabelle to Lord Warburton, from his nobleman to his sister and to Ralph. There's something the matter with you all. It was just not if you had got a bad cable. You do see it through us, Miss Stark falls, said Ralph in eloto, giving her a little intelligent nod as he lay the party out of the gallery. There's something the matter with us all. Isabelle came behind his tune. Miss Molina, who decided to lack her immensely, had taken her arm toward beside her over the polished floor. Lord Warburton strolled on the other side with his hand behind his eyes lowered. For some moments he did nothing, and then he said, sure you're going to London, yes. I believe he's been arranged. And when shall we come back? In a few days, probably for a very short time, I'm going to Paris with my aunt. When then shall I see you again? Not for a good while, says the man, but some day or other, I hope. She really hope it. Very much. He went a few steps in silence. Then he stopped and put out his hand. Goodbye. Goodbye, said Isabelle. Miss Molina kissed her again, and she lay the tune apart. After it without redarning her return, Ralph, she retreated to her own room in which the apartment, before dinner, was found by Mrs. Touchett, who had stepped on her way to the cellar. I may as well tell you, says the lady, that Iroical hasn't formed any relations with Lord Warburton. Isabelle considered relations, they had relations, that was a strange part of it. He's seen me about three or four times. Would you tell your uncle rather than me? Miss Touchett especially asked. Again the girl has date because you know Lord Warburton better. Yes, but I know you better. I'm not sure that, Isabelle is smiling. And neither am I, after all, especially when you give me that rather conceited look, one would think you were all very pleased with yourself and had carried off a prize. And I suppose that when you refuse enough like Lord Warburton's because you expect something better. Ugh, my uncle didn't say that. What? Cruel Isabelle. Smiling still. End of chapter 14. Chapter 15 of the Portrait of a Lady, Volume 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Ava Harnick. The Portrait of a Lady, Volume 1. By Henry James. Chapter 15 It had been arranged that the two young ladies should proceed to London under Ralph's escort, though Mrs. Duchette looked with little favour on the plan. It was just a sort of plan, she said, that Miss Stackpole would be sure to suggest, and she inquired if the correspondent of the interviewer was to take the party to stay at her favourite boarding house. I don't care where she takes us to stay, so long as there is local colour, said Isabelle. That is, what we are going to London for. I suppose, that after a girl has refused an English lord, she may do anything, her aunt rejoined. After that, one needn't stand on trifles. Should you have liked me to marry Lord Warburton, Isabelle inquired, of course I should. I thought you disliked the English so much, so I do, but it is all the greater reason for making use of them. Is that your idea of marriage? And Isabelle ventured to add that her aunt appeared to her to have made very little use of Mr. Duchette. Your uncle is not an English nobleman, said Mrs. Duchette, though even if he had been, I should still probably have taken up my residence in Florence. Do you think Lord Warburton could make me any better than I am? The girl asked with some animation, I don't mean I am too good to improve. I mean that I don't love Lord Warburton enough to marry him. You did right to refuse him then, said Mrs. Duchette, in her smallest, sparse voice. Only the next great offer you get, I hope you'll manage to come up to your standard. We had better wait till the offer comes before we talk about it. I hope very much I may have no more offers for the present. They upset me completely. You probably won't be troubled with them if you adopt permanently the bohemian manner of life. However, I have promised Ralph not to criticize. I'll do whatever Ralph says is right, Isabelle returned. I have unbounded confidence in Ralph. His mother is much obliged to you. This lady dryly laughed. It seems to me indeed she ought to feel it. Isabelle irrepressibly answered. Ralph had assured her that there would be no violation of decency in their paying a visit, the little party of three, to the sights of the metropolis. But Mrs. Duchette took a different view. Like many ladies of her country who had lived a long time in Europe, she had completely lost her native tact on such points, and in her reaction, not in itself deplorable, against the liberty allowed to young persons beyond the seas, had fallen into gratuitous and exaggerated scruples. Ralph accompanied their visitors to town and established them at a quiet inn on a street that ran at right angles to Piccadilly. His first idea had been to take them to his father's house in Winchester Square, a large, dull mansion, which at this period of the year was shrouded in silence and brown holland. But he besought himself that the cook being at garden court, there was no one in the house to get them their meals, and his hotel accordingly became the resting place. Ralph on his side found quarters in Winchester Square, having a den there of which he was very fond and being familiar with deeper fears than that of a court kitchen. He availed himself largely indeed of the resources of Pratt's hotel, beginning his day with an early visit to his fellow travelers, who had missed the Pratt in person in a large bulging white waistcoat to remove their dish covers. Ralph turned up, as he said, after breakfast, and the little party made out a scheme of entertainment for the day. As London wears in the months of September a face blank, but for its smears of prior service, the young man who occasionally took an apologetic tone was obliged to remind his companion to miss Stackpole's high derision that there wasn't a creature in town. I suppose you mean that aristocracy are absent, Henriette answered, but I don't think you could have a better proof that if they were absent altogether they would not be missed. It seems to me the place is about as full as it can be. There is no one here, of course, but three or four millions of people. What is it you call them, the lower middle class? They are only the population of London, and that is of no consequence. Ralph declared that for him the aristocracy left no void that Miss Stackpole herself didn't fill, and that the more contented men was nowhere at that moment to be found. In this he spoke the truth. For the still September days in the huge half empty town had a charm wrapped in them as a colored gem might be wrapped in a dusty cloth. When he went home at night to the empty house in Winchester Square, after a chain of hours with his comparatively ardent friends, he wandered into the big dusky dining room where the candle he took from the hall table after letting himself in constituted the only illumination. The square was still, the house was still. When he raised one of the windows of the dining room to let in the air, he heard the slow creak of the boots of a lone constable. His own step in the empty place seemed and sonorous. Some of the carpets had been raised, and whenever he moved he roused a melancholy echo. He sat down in one of the armchairs. The big dark dining table twinkled here and there in the small candlelight. The pictures on the wall, all of them very brown, looked vague and incoherent. There was a ghostly presence as of dinner's long since digested of table talk that had lost its actuality. This hint of the supernatural perhaps had something to do with the fact that his imagination took a flight and that he remained in his chair a long time beyond the hour at which he should have been in bed, doing nothing, not even reading the evening paper. I say he did nothing, and I maintain the phrase in the face of the fact that he sought at these moments of Isabel. To think of Isabel could only be for him an idle pursuit leading to nothing and profiting little to anyone. His cousin had not yet seemed to him so charming as during these days spent surrounding tourist fashion the deeps and shallows of the metropolitan element. Isabel was full of premises, conclusions, emotions. If she had come in search of local color, she found it everywhere. She asked more questions than he could answer and launched brave theories as to historic cause and social effect for Isabel to accept or to refute. The party went more than once to the British Museum and to the Brighter Palace of Art which reclaims for antique variety so large an area of a monotonous suburb. They spent the morning in the abbey and went on a penny steamer to the tower. They looked at pictures both in public and private collections beneath the great trees in Kensington Gardens. Henriette approved an indestructible sightseer and a more lenient judge than Ralph had ventured to hope. She had indeed many disappointments and London at large suffered from her vivid remembrance of the strong points of the American civic idea. She made the best of its dingy dignities and only heaved an occasional sigh and uttered a disultery well which led no further and lost itself in retrospect. The truth was that as she said herself she was not in her element. I have not a sympathy with inanimate object. She remarked to Isabel and she continued to suffer from the meagerness of the glimpse that had at yet been worshipped to her of the inner life. Landscapes by Turner and Assyrian bulls were a poor substitute for the literally dinner parties at which she had hoped to meet the genius and renown of Great Britain. Where are your public men? Where are your men and women of intellect? She inquired of Ralph's standing in the middle of Trafalgar Square as if she had supposed this to be a place where she would naturally meet a few. That's one of them on the top of the column you say Lord Nelson. Was he a Lord too? Wasn't he high enough that they had to stick him a hundred feet in the air? That's the past. I don't care about the past. I want to see some of the leading minds of the present. I won't say of the future because I don't believe much in your future. Poor Ralph had few leading minds among his acquaintance and rarely enjoyed the pleasure of buttonholing a celebrity. A state of things which appeared to miss Dagpor to indicate a deplorable amount of enterprise. If I were on the other side I should call, she said and tell the gentleman whoever he might be that I had heard a great deal about him and had come to see for myself. But I gather from what you say that this is not the custom here. You seem to have plenty of meaningless customs but none of those that would help along. We are in advance certainly. I suppose I shall have to give up the social side altogether. And Henrietta, though she went about with her guidebook and pencil and wrote a letter to the interviewer about the tower in which she described the execution of Lady Jane Gray had a sad sense of falling below her mission. The incident that had preceded Isabel's departure from Garden Court left a painful trace in our young woman's mind. When she felt again in her face as from a recurrent wave the cold breath of her long suitor surprised she could only muffle her head till the air cleared. She could not have done less than what she did. This was certainly true. Her city, all the same, had been as graceless as some physical act in a strained attitude and she felt no desire to take credit for her conduct. Mixed with this imperfect pride, nevertheless was a feeling of freedom which in itself was sweet and which as she wandered through the great city with her ill-matched companions occasionally scrubbed into demonstrations. When she walked in Kensington Gardens she stopped the children mainly of the poorer sort whom she saw playing on the grass. She asked them their names and gave them sixpence and when they were pretty kissed them. Ralf noticed these quaint charities. He noticed everything she did. One afternoon that his companions might pass the time he invited them to tea in Winchester Square and he had the house set in order as much as possible for their visit. There was another guest to meet them, an amiable bachelor an old friend of Ralf's who happened to be in town and for whom prompt commerce with Miss Dagpole appeared to have neither difficulty nor dread. Mr. Bantling a stout, sleek, smiling man of forty wonderfully dressed universally informed and incoherently amused laughed immoderately at everything Henry at the said. Gave her several cups of tea examined in her society the bric-a-brac of which Ralf had a considerable collection and afterwards when the host proposed they should go out into the square and pretend it was a fetch on petrol walked round the limited enclosure several times with her and at a dozen turns of their talk bounded responsive as with a positive passion for argument to her remarks upon the inner life. Oh, I see I daresay you found it very quiet at garden court naturally there is not much going on there there is such a lot of illness about to shed is very bad you know the doctors have forbidden his being in England at all and he has only come back to take care of his father the old man I believe has half a dozen sinks the matter with him they call it gout but to my certain knowledge he has organic disease so developed that you may depend upon it he will go someday soon quite quickly of course that sort of thing makes a dreadfully dull house I wonder they have people when they can do so little for them then I believe Mr. Touche is always squabbling with his wife she lives away from her husband you know in that extraordinary American way of yours if you want a house where there is always something going on I recommend you to go down and stay with my sister lady pencil in Bedfordshire I will write to her tomorrow and I am sure she will be delighted to ask you I know just what you want you want a house where they go in for theatricos and picnics and that sort of thing my sister is just that sort of woman she is always getting up something or other and she is always glad to have the sort of people who help her I am sure she will ask you down by return of post she is tremendously fond of distinguished people and writers she writes herself you know but I haven't read everything she has written it is usually poetry and I don't go in much for poetry unless it is Byron I suppose you think a great deal of Byron in America Mr. Bentley continued expanding in the stimulating air of Ms. Dagpole's attention bringing up his sequences promptly and changing his topic with an easy turn of hand yet he nonetheless gracefully kept in sight of the idea dazzling to Henrietta of her going to stay with Lady Pencil in Bedfordshire I understand what you want you want to see some genuine English sport the Touche aren't English at all you know they have their own habits their own language, their own food some odd religion even I believe of their own the old man thinks it is wicked to hunt I'm told you must get down to my sisters in time for the theatricers and I'm sure she'll be glad to give you a part I'm sure you act well I know you are very clever my sister is 40 years old and has seven children but she's going to play the principal part plain as she is she makes up awfully well I will say for her of course you needn't act if you don't want to in this manner Mr. Bandling delivered himself while they strolled over the grass in Winchester Square which although it had been peppered by the London suit invited the thread to linger Henrietta sought her blooming easy-voiced bachelor with his impressibility to feminine merit and his splendid range of suggestions a very agreeable man and she valued the opportunity he offered her I don't know but I would go if your sister should ask me I think it would be my duty what do you call her name Pencil it is an odd name but it isn't a bad one I think one name is as good as another but what is her rank oh, she's a baron's wife a convenient sort of rank you are fine enough and you are not too fine I don't know but what she would be too fine for me what do you call the place she lives in Bedfordshire she lives away in the northern corner of it it is a tiresome country but I dare say you won't mind it I will try and run down while you are there all this was very pleasant to miss that ball and she was sorry to be obliged to separate from Lady Pencil's obliging brother but it happened that she had met the day before in Piccadilly some friends whom she had not seen for a year were the climbers two ladies from Wilmington, Delaware who had been travelling on the continent and were now preparing to re-embark Henrietta had a long interview with them on the Piccadilly pavement and though the three ladies all talked at once they had not exhausted their store it had been agreed therefore that Henrietta should come and dine with them on the lodgings in German street at six o'clock on the morrow and she now bethought herself of disengagement she prepared to start for German street taking leave first of Rav to Shet and Isabel who seated on garden chairs in another part of the enclosure were occupied if the term may be used with an exchange of amenities less pointed a practical colloquy of Miss Stackpole and Mr. Bandling when it had been settled between Isabel and her friend that they should be reunited at some reputable hour at Pratt's hotel Ralph remarked that the latter must have a cab she could not walk all the way to German street I suppose you mean it's improper for me to walk alone as Henrietta exclaimed merciful powers have I come to this there is not the slightest need of your walking alone Mr. Bandling gaily interposed I should be greatly pleased to go with you I simply meant that you would be late for dinner Ralph returned those poor ladies may easily believe that we refuse at the last to spare you you had better have a handsome Henrietta said Isabel I will get you a handsome if you will trust me Mr. Bandling went on we might walk a little till we meet one I don't see why I shouldn't trust him do you Henrietta inquired of Isabel I don't see what Mr. Bandling could do to you and obligingly answered but if you like we will walk with you till you find your cab never mind we'll go alone come on Mr. Bandling and take care you get me a good one Mr. Bandling promised to do his best and the two took their departure leaving the girl and her cousin together in the square over which a clear September twilight now begun to gather it was perfectly still the white quadrangle of dusky houses showed lights in none of the windows where the shutters and blinds were closed the pavements were awakened expanse and putting aside two small children from a neighboring slum who attracted by symptoms of abnormal animation in the interior poked their faces between the raste rails of the enclosure the most vivid object within sight was the big red pillar post on the southeast corner Henrietta will ask him to get into the cab and go with her to German street Ralph observed he always spoke of Miss Stackball as Henrietta very possibly said his companion or rather no she won't he went on but Bandling will ask Cleave to get in very likely again I am very glad they are such good friends she has made a conquest he thinks her a brilliant woman it may go far said Ralph Isabel was briefly silent I call Henrietta a very brilliant woman but I don't think it will go far they would never really know each other he has not the least idea what she really is and she has no just comprehension of Mr. Bandling there is no more usual basis of union than a mutual misunderstanding but it ought not to be so difficult to understand Bob Bandling Ralph added he is a very simple organism yes but Henrietta is a simpler one still and pray what am I to do Isabel asked looking about her through the fading light in which the limited landscape gardening of the square took on a large and effective appearance I don't imagine that you will propose that you and I for our amusement shall drive about London in a handsome there is no reason we shouldn't stay here if you don't dislike it it is very warm there will be half an hour yet before dark and if you permit it I will light a cigarette you may do what you please said Isabel I propose at that hour to go back and partake of a simple and solitary repast two poached eggs and the muffin at Pratt's hotel main tight dine with you Ralph asked no, your dine at your club they had wandered back to their chairs in the centre of the square again and Ralph had lighted his cigarette it would have given him extreme pleasure to be present in person at the modest little feast she had sketched but in the fort of this he liked even being forbidden for the moment however he liked immensely being alone with her in the sickening dusk in the centre of the multitudinous town it made her seem to depend upon him to be in his power this power he could exert but vaguely the best exercise of it was to accept her decisions submissively which indeed there was already an emotion in doing why won't you let me dine with you he demanded after a pause because I don't care for it I suppose you are tired of me I shall be an hour hence you see I have a gift of foreknowledge oh I shall be delightful meanwhile said Ralph but he said nothing more and as she made no rejoinder they said some time in a stillness which seemed to contradict his promise of entertainment it seemed to him he was preoccupied and he wondered what she was thinking about there were two or three very possible subjects at last he spoke again is your objection to my society this evening caused by your expectation of another visitor she turned her head with a glance of her clear fair eyes another visitor what visitor should I have he had none to suggest which made his question seem to himself silly as well as brutal you have a great many friends that I don't know you have a whole past from which I was perversely excluded you were reserved for my future you must remember that my past is over there across the water there is none of it here in London very good then since your future is seated beside you capitals sing to have your future so handy and Ralph lighted another cigarette and reflected that Isabelle probably meant she had received news that Mr. Casper Goodwood had crossed to Paris after he had lighted his cigarette he puffed it a while and then he resumed I promise just now to be very amusing but you see I don't come up to the mark and the fact is there is a good deal of temerity in once undertaking to amuse a person like you what do you care for my feeble attempts you have grand ideas they are high standard in such matters I ought at least to bring in a band of music or a company of mount banks one mount bank is enough and you do very well pray go on and in another ten minutes I shall begin to laugh I assure you I am very serious said Ralph you do really ask I don't know what you mean I ask nothing you accept nothing said Ralph she colored and now suddenly it seemed to her that she guessed his meaning but why should he speak to her of such things he hesitated a little and then he continued there is something I should like very much to say to you it is a question I wish to ask it seemed to me I have a right to ask it because I have a kind of interest in the answer ask what you will Isabel replied gently and I will try to satisfy you well done I hope you won't mind my saying that warburton has told me of something that has passed between you Isabel suppressed the start she said looking at her open fan very good I suppose it was natural he should tell you I have his leave to let you know he has done so he has some hope still said Ralph still he had it a few days ago I don't believe he has any now said the girl I am very sorry for him then he is such an honest man pray did he ask you to talk to me no not that but he told me because he couldn't help it we are old friends and he was greatly disappointed he sent me a line asking me to come and see him and I draw over to luckily the day before he and his sister lunched with us he was very heavy hearted just got a letter from you did he show you the letter as Isabel with momentary loftiness by no means but he told me it was a neat refusal I was very sorry for him Ralph repeated for some moments Isabel said nothing then at last do you know how often he had seen me she inquired five or six times that is to your glory it is not for that I say it what then do you say it for not to prove that poor war Burton state of mind is superficial because I'm pretty sure you don't think that Isabel certainly was unable to say she sought it but presently she said something else if you have not been requested by Lord war Burton to argue with me then you are doing it disinterestedly or for the love of argument I have no wish to argue with you at all I only wish to leave you alone I am simply greatly interested in your own sentiments I'm greatly obliged to you cried Isabel slightly nervous laugh of course you mean that I'm meddling in what does not concern me but why shouldn't I speak to you of this matter without annoying you or embarrassing myself what is the use of being your cousin if I can't have a few privileges what is the use of adoring you without hope of a reward if I can't have a few compensations what is the use of being ill and disabled and restricted to mere spectatorship at the game of life if I really can't see the show when I have paid so much for my ticket tell me this Ralph went on while she listened to him with quickened attention what had you in mind when you refused Lord war Burton what had I in mind what was the logic the view of your situation that dictated so remarkable an act I didn't wish to marry him if that is logic no that is not logic and I knew that before it is really nothing you know what was it you said to yourself you certainly said more than that Isabel reflected the moment then answered with a question of her own why do you call it a remarkable act that is what your mother thinks too war Burton is such a thorough good sort as a man I consider he has hardly a fault and then he is what they call here he has immense possessions and his wife would be sought a superior being he unites the intrinsic and extrinsic advantages Isabel watched her cousin as to see how far he would go I refused him because he was too perfect then I am not perfect myself and he's too good for me besides his perfection would irritate me that is ingenious rather than candid said Ralph as a fact you think nothing in the world too perfect for you do you think I'm so good but you are exacting all the same without the excuse of thinking yourself good 19 women out of 20 however even of the most exacting sort would have managed to do this war Burton perhaps you don't know how he has been stalked I don't wish to know but it seems to me said Isabel that one day when we talked of him you mentioned odd things in him Ralph smokingly considered I hope that what I said then had no weight with you for they were not the things I spoke of they were simply peculiarities of his position if I had known he wished to marry you I would never have alluded to them I think I said that as regards that position he was rather a skeptic it would have been in your power to make him a believer I think not I don't understand the matter and I'm not conscious of any mission of that sort you are evidently disappointed Isabel added looking at her cousin with rueful gentleness you would have liked me to make such a marriage not in the least I am absolutely without a wish on the subject I don't pretend to advise you and I content myself with watching you with the deepest interest she gave rather a conscious sigh I wish I could be as interesting to myself as I am to you there you are not candid again you are extremely interesting to yourself do you know however said Ralph that if you have really given warburton his final answer I am rather glad it has been what it was I don't mean I'm glad for you and still less of course for him I'm glad for myself are you thinking of proposing to me by no means from the point of view I speak of that would be fatal I should kill the goose that supplies me with the material of my inimitable omelettes I use that animal as the symbol of my insane illusions what I mean is that I shall have the thrill of seeing what a young lady does who won't marry lord warburton that is what your mother counts upon too said Isabel ah there will be plenty of spectators we shall hang on the rest of your career I shall not see all of it but I shall probably see the most interesting years of course if you were to marry our friend you would still have a career a very decent in fact a very brilliant one but relatively speaking it would be a little prosaic it would be definitely marked out in advance it would be wanting in the unexpected you know I am extremely fond of the unexpected and now that you have kept the game in your hands I depend on your giving us some grand example of it I don't understand you very well said Isabel but I do so well enough to be able to say that if you look for grand examples of anything from me I shall disappoint you you will do so only by disappointing yourself and that will go hard with you to this she made no direct reply there was an amount of truth in it that would bear consideration at last she said abruptly I don't see what harm there is in my wishing not to tie myself I don't want to begin life by marrying there are other things a woman can do there is nothing she can do so well but you are of course so many sided if one is too sided it is enough said Isabel you are the most charming of guns who companion broke out at a glance from his companion however he became grave and to prove it went on you want to see life you'll be hanged if you don't as the young men say I don't think I want to see it as the young men want to see it but I do want to look about me you want to drain the cup of experience no I don't wish to touch the cup of experience it is a poison drink I only want to see for myself you want to see but not to feel Ralph remarked I don't think that if one is a sentient being one can make the distinction I am a good deal like Henrietta the other day when I asked her if she wish to marry she said not till I have seen Europe I too don't wish to marry till I have seen Europe you evidently expect the crown head will be struck with you no that would be worse than marrying lord warburton but it is getting very dark Isabel continued and I must go home she rose from her place but Ralph only sat still and looked at her as he remained there she stopped and they exchanged a gaze that was full on either side but especially on Ralph's of utterances too vague for words you have answered my question he said at last you have told me what I wanted I am greatly obliged to you it seems to me I have told you very little you have told me the great thing that the world interest you and that you want to throw yourself into it her silvery eyes shown a moment in the dusk I never said that I think you meant it don't repudiate it it is so fine I don't know what you are trying to fasten upon me for I am not in the least an adventurous spirit women are not like men Ralph slowly rose from his seat and they walked together to the gate of the square no he said women rarely boast of their courage men do so with a certain frequency men have it to boast of women have it too you have a great deal enough to go home in a cab to Pratt's hotel but no more Ralph unlocked the gate and after they had passed out he fastened it we will find your cab he said and as they turned toward a neighboring street in which this quest might avail he asked her again if he might not see her safely to the inn by no means she answered you are very tired you must go home and go to bed the cab was found and he helped her into it standing a moment at the door when people forget I am a poor creature I am often incommodated he said but it is worse when they remember it end of chapter 15 recorded by Ava Harnick chapter 16 of the portrait of a lady volume 1 this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by sage turtle the portrait of a lady volume 1 by Henry James chapter 16 she had had no hidden motive in wishing him not to take her home it simply struck her that for some days past she had consumed an inordinate quantity of his time and the independent spirit of the American girl whom extravagance of aid places and an attitude that she ends by finding affected had made her decide that for these few hours she must suffice to herself she had moreover a great fondness for intervals of solitude which since her arrival in England had been but meagerly met it was a luxury she could always command at home and she had wittingly missed it that evening however an incident occurred which had there been a critic to note it would have taken all color from the theory but quite by herself had caused her to dispense with her cousin's attendance seated toward nine o'clock in the dim illumination of Pratt's hotel and trying with the aid of two tall candles to lose herself in a volume she had brought from garden court she succeeded only to the extent of reading other words than those printed on the page words that Ralph had spoken to her that afternoon suddenly the well-muffed knuckle arrived to the door which presently gave way to his exhibition even as a glorious trophy of the card of a visitor when this memento had offered to her fixed sight the name of Mr. Casper Goodwood she let the man stand before her without signifying her wishes shall I show the gentleman up ma'am he asked with a slightly encouraging inflection Isabel hesitated still and while she hesitated glanced at the mirror he may come in she said at last and waited for him not so much smoothing her hair as girding her spirit Casper Goodwood was accordingly the next moment shaking hands with her but saying nothing till the servant had left the room why didn't you answer my letter he then asked in a quick full slightly peremptory tone the tone of a man whose questions were habitually pointed and who was capable of such insistence she answered by a ready question how did you know I was here Miss Stockpool let me know said Casper Goodwood she told me you would probably be at home alone this evening and would be willing to see me where did she see you to tell you that she didn't see me she wrote to me Isabel was silent neither had sat down they stood there with an air of defiance or at least of contention Henrietta never told me she was writing to you she said at last this is not kind of her is it so disagreeable to you to see me asked the young man I didn't expect it I don't like such surprises but you knew I was in town it was natural we should meet do you call this meeting I hoped I shouldn't see you in so big a place as London impossible it was apparently repugnant to you even to write to me her visitor went on Isabel made no reply the sense of Henrietta Stockpool's treachery as she momentarily qualified it was strong within her Henrietta's certainly not a model of all the delicacies she exclaimed with bitterness it was a great liberty to take I suppose I'm not a model either of those virtues I'm sure of any others the fault's mine as much as hers as Isabel looked at him it seemed to her that his jaw had never been more square this might have displeased her but she took a different turn no it's not your fault so much as hers what you've done was inevitable I suppose for you it was indeed cried Kasper Goodwood with a voluntary laugh and now that I've come at any rate may entice stay only she went back to her chair again while her visitor took the first place that offered in the manner of a man accustomed to pay little thought that sort of furtherance I've been hoping every day for an answer to my letter you might have written me a few lines it wasn't the trouble of writing that prevented me I could as easily have written you four pages as one but my silence was an intention as if he were making a strong effort to say nothing but what he ought he was a strong man in the wrong and he was acute enough to see that an unpromising exhibition of his strength would only throw the falsity of his position into relief Isabel was not incapable of tasting any advantage of position over a person of this quality and the little desires to flaunt it in his face she could enjoy being able to say you know you oughtn't have written to me yourself and to say it with an air of triumph Casper Goodwood raised his eyes to her own again they seemed to shine through the wizard of a helmet he had a strong sense of justice and was ready any day in the year over and above this to argue the question of his rights you said you hoped never to hear from me again I know that but I never accepted any such rule as my own I warned you that you should hear very soon I didn't say I hoped never to hear from you said Isabel not for five years then for ten years, twenty years it's the same thing do you find it so it seems to me there's a great difference I can imagine that at the end of ten years we might have a very pleasant correspondence I should have matured my epistolary style she looked away while she spoke these words knowing them of so much less earnest a cast than the countenance of her listener her eyes however at last came back to him just as he said very irreverently are you enjoying your visit to your uncle very much indeed she dropped but then she broke out what good do you expect to get by insisting the good of not losing you you've no right to talk of losing what's not yours and even from your own point of view Isabel added you want to know when to let one alone I discussed you very much said Casper Goodwood gloomily not as if to provoke her to compassion for a man conscious of this blighting fact but as if to set it well before himself so that he might endeavor to act with his eyes on it yes you don't at all delight me you don't fit in not in any way just now but you're putting it to the proof in this manner is quite unnecessary it wasn't certainly as if his nature had been soft so that pinpricks would draw blood from it and from the first of her acquaintance with him and of her having to defend herself against a certain air that he had of knowing better what was good for her than she knew herself she had recognized the fact that perfect frankness was her best weapon to attempt to spare his sensibility or to escape from him edgewise one might do from a man who had barred the way less sturdily this in dealing with Casper Goodwood who would grasp at everything of every sort that one might give him was wasted agility it was not that he had not susceptibilities but his passive surface as well as his active was large and hard and he might always be trusted to dress his wounds so far as they required it himself she came back even for her measure of possible pangs and aches in him to her old sense that he was naturally plated and steeled armed essentially for aggression I can't reconcile myself to that he simply said there's a dangerous liberality about it for she felt how open it was to him to make the point that he had not always disgusted her I can't reconcile myself to it either and it's not the state of things that ought to exist between us if you'd only try to banish me from your mind for a few months we should be on good terms again I see if I should cease to think of you at all for a prescribed time I should find I could keep it up indefinitely indefinitely is more than I ask it's more even than I should like you know that what you ask is impossible said the young man taking his adjective for granted in a manner she found irritating incapable of making a calculated effort she demanded you're strong for everything else why shouldn't you be strong for that an effort calculated for what and then she hung fire I'm capable of nothing with regard to you he went on but just of being infernally in love with you if one's strong one loves only the more strongly there's a good deal in that and indeed our young lady felt the force of it felt it thrown off into the vast of truth and poetry as practically a bait to her imagination but she promptly came around think of me or not as you find most possible only leave me alone until when well for a year or two which do you mean between one year and two there's all the difference in the world call it too then said isabel with a studied effect of eagerness and what shall I gain by that her friend asked with no sign of wincing you'll have obliged me greatly and what will be my reward do you need a reward for an act of generosity yes when it involves a great sacrifice there's no generosity without sacrifice men don't understand such things if you make the sacrifice you'll have all my admiration I don't care a cent for your admiration not one straw with nothing to show for it when will you marry me that's the only question never if you go on making me feel only as I feel at present what do I gain then by not trying to make you feel otherwise you'll gain quite as much by worrying me to death Casper Goodwood bent his eyes again and gazed a while into the crown of his hat a deep flush overspread his face she could see that her sharpness had last penetrated this immediately had a value classic romantic redeeming what did she know for her the strong man in pain was one of the categories of the human appeal little charm as he might exert in the given case why do you make me say such things to you she cried in a trembling voice I only want to be gentle to be thoroughly kind it's not delightful to me to feel people care for me and yet to have to try and reason them out of it I think others also want to be considerate we have each to judge for ourselves I know you're considerate as much as you can be of good reasons for what you do but I really don't want to marry or to talk about it at all now I shall probably never do it no never I've a perfect right to feel that way and it's no kindness to a woman to press her so hard to urge her against her will if I give you pain I can only say I'm very sorry it's not my fault I can't marry you simply to please you I won't say that I shall always remain your friend because when women say that in these situations it passes I believe for a sort of mockery but try me someday Casper Goodwood during this speech had kept his eyes fixed upon the name of his hadder and it was not until some time after she had ceased speaking that he raised them when he did so the sight of a rosy lovely eagerness in Isabel's face threw some confusion into his attempt to analyze her words I'll go home I'll go tomorrow I'll leave you alone he brought out at last only he heavily said I hate to lose sight of you never fear I shall do no harm you'll marry someone else as sure as I sit here Casper Goodwood declared do you think that's a generous charge why not plenty of men try to make you I told you just now that I don't wish to marry and that I almost certainly never shall I know you did and I like your almost certainly I've got no faith in what you say thank you very much do you accuse me of lying to shake you off you say very delicate things why should I not say that you've given me no pledge of anything at all no that's all that would be wanting you may perhaps even believe I'm not safe from wishing to be but you're not young man went on as if preparing himself for the worst very well then we'll put it that I'm not safe have it as you please I don't know however said Casper Goodwood am I keeping you in sight would prevent it don't you indeed I'm after all very much afraid of you do you think I'm so very easily pleased she asked suddenly changing her tone I shall try to console myself with that but there are a certain number of very dazzling men in the world no doubt and if there were only one it would be enough the most dazzling of all will make straight for you you'll be sure to take no one who isn't dazzling if you mean by dazzling brilliantly clever Isabelle said and I can't imagine what else you mean I don't need the aid of a clever man to teach me how to live I can find it out for myself find out how to live alone I wish that when you have you teach me she looked at him a moment then with a quick smile you ought to marry she said he might be pardoned if for an instant this exclamation seemed to him to sound the infernal note and it is not on record that her motive for discharging such a shaft had been of the clearest he oughtn't to stride about lean and hungry however she certainly felt that for him God forgive you he murmured between his teeth as he turned away her accent had put her slightly in the wrong and after a moment she felt the need to write herself the easiest way to do it was to place him where she had been you do me great injustice you say what you don't know she broke out I shouldn't be an easy victim I've proved it oh to me perfectly I've proved it to others as well and she paused a moment I refused a proposal of marriage last week what they call no doubt a dazzling one I'm very glad to hear it said the young man gravely it was a proposal many girls would have accepted it had everything to recommend it Isabelle had not proposed to herself to tell this story but now she had begun the satisfaction of speaking it out and doing herself justice took possession of her I was offered a great position and a great fortune by a person whom I like extremely Casper watched her with intense interest is he an Englishman he's an English nobleman said Isabelle her visitor received this announcement at first in silence but at last said I'm glad he's disappointed well then as you have companions and misfortune make the best of it I don't call him a companion said Casper grimly why not since I declined his offer absolutely that doesn't make him my companion besides he's an Englishman and pray isn't an Englishman a human being Isabelle asked oh those people they're not of my humanity and I don't care what becomes of them you're very angry said the girl we've discussed this matter quite enough oh yes I'm very angry I plead guilty to that she turned away from him walked to the open window and stood a moment looking into the dusky void of the street where a turbid gas light alone represented social animation for some time neither of these young persons spoke Casper lingered near the chimney piece with eyes gloomily attached she had virtually requested him to go he knew that but at the risk of making himself furious he kept his ground she was far too dear to him to be easily renounced and he had crossed the sea all to ring from her some scrap of a vow presently she left the window and stood again before him you do me very little justice after my telling you what I told you just now I'm sorry I told you since it matters so little to you ah cried the young man if you were thinking of me when you did it and then he paused with the fear that she might contradict so happy a thought I was thinking of you a little said Isabelle a little I don't understand if the knowledge of what I feel for you had any weight with you at all calling it a little is a poor account of it Isabelle shook her head as if to carry off a blunder I've refused a most kind noble gentlemen make the most of that I thank you then said Casper Goodwood gravely I thank you immensely and now you had better go home may I not see you again he asked I think it's better not you'll be sure to talk of this and you see it leads to nothing I promise you not to say a word that will annoy you Isabelle reflected and then answered I return in a day or two to my uncles and I can't propose to you to come there it would be too inconsistent Casper Goodwood on his side considered you must do me justice too I received an invitation to your uncles more than a week ago and I declined it she betrayed surprise from whom was your invitation from Mr. Ralph Touche who I supposed to be your cousin I declined it because I had not your authorization to accept it the suggestion that Mr. Touche should invite me appeared to have come from Miss Stackpool it certainly never did for me and yet it really goes very far Isabelle added don't be too hard on her that touches me no if you declined you did quite right and I thank you for it and she gave a little shudder of dismay at the thought that Lord Warburton and Mr. Goodwood might have met at Garden Court it would have been so awkward for Lord Warburton when you leave your uncle where do you go her companion asked I go abroad with my aunt to Florence and other places the serenity of this announcement struck a chill to the young man's heart he seemed to see her world away into circles from which he was inexorably excluded nevertheless he went on quickly with his questions and when shall you come back to America perhaps not for a long time I'm very happy here do you mean to give up your country don't be an infant well you'll be out of my sight indeed said Casper Goodwood I don't know she answered rather grandly the world with all these places so arranged and so touching each other comes to strike one as rather small it's a sight too big for me Casper exclaimed with a simplicity our young lady might have found touching if her face had not been set against concessions this attitude was part of a system a theory that she had lately embraced and to be thorough she said after a moment don't think the unkind if I say that it's just that being out of your sight that I like if you were in the same place I should feel you were watching me and I don't like that I like my liberty too much if there's a thing in the world I'm fond of she went on with a slight recurrence of grandeur it's my personal independence but whatever there might be of the two superior in this speech moved Casper Goodwood's admiration there was nothing to be winced at in the large air of it he had never supposed she hadn't wings and the need of beautiful free movements he wasn't with his own long arms and strides afraid of any force in her Isabelle's words if they had been meant to shock him failed of the mark and only made him smile with the sense that here was common ground who would wish less to curtail your liberty than I what can give me greater pleasure than to see you perfectly independent doing whatever you like it's to make you independent that I want to marry you that's a beautiful sophism said the girl with a smile more beautiful still an unmarried woman a girl of your age is an independent there are sorts of things she can't do she's hampered at every step that's as she looks at the question Isabelle answered with much spirit I'm not in my first youth I can do what I choose I belong quite to the independent class I'm neither mother nor father I'm poor and of a serious disposition I'm not pretty I therefore am not bound to be timid and conventional indeed I can't afford such luxuries besides I try to judge things for myself to judge wrong I think is more honorable than not to judge at all I don't wish to be a mere sheep in the flock I wish to choose my fate and know something of human affairs beyond what other people think it compatible with propriety to tell me she paused a moment but not long enough for her companion to reply he was apparently on the point of doing so when she went on let me say this to you Mr. Goodwood you're so kind as to speak of being afraid of my marrying if you should hear a rumor that I'm on the point of doing so girls are liable to have such things that about them remember what I've told you about my love of liberty and venture to doubt it there was something passionately positive in the tone in which she gave him this advice and he saw a shining candor in her eyes that helped him to believe her on the whole he felt reassured and you might have perceived it by the manner in which he said quite eagerly you want simply to travel for two years I'm quite willing to wait two years and you may do what you like in the interval if that's what you want pray say so I don't want you to be conventional do I strike you as conventional myself do you want to improve your mind your mind's quite good enough for me but if it interests you to wander about a while and see different countries I shall be delighted to help you in any way in my power you're very generous the best way to help me will be to put as many hundreds of miles of sea between us as possible one would think you are going to commit some atrocity said Casper Goodwood perhaps I am I wish to be free even to do that if the fancy takes me well then he said slowly I'll go home and he put out his hand trying to look contented and confident Isabelle's confidence in him however was greater than any he could feel in her not that he thought her capable of committing an atrocity but turned it over as he would there was something ominous in the way she reserved her option as she took his hand she felt a great respect for him she knew how much he cared for her and she thought him magnanimous they stood so for a moment looking at each other united by a hand clasp which was not merely passive on her side that's right she said very kindly almost tenderly I will lose nothing by being a reasonable man but I'll come back wherever you are two years hence he returned with characteristic grimness we have seen that our young lady was inconsequent and at this she suddenly changed her note ah remember I promise nothing absolutely nothing then more softly as if to help him leave her and remember too that I shall not be an easy victim you'll get very sick of your independence perhaps I shall it's even very probable when that day comes I shall be very glad to see you she had laid her hand on the knob of the door that led into her room and she waited a moment to see whether her visitor would not take his departure but he appeared unable to move there was still an immense unwillingness in his attitude and a sore remonstrance in his eyes I must leave you now said Isabelle and she opened the door and passed into the other room the apartment was dark but the darkness was tempered by a vague radiance sent up through the window from the court of the hotel and Isabelle could make out the masses of the furniture the dim shining of the mirror and the looming of the big four-posted bed she stood still a moment listening she heard Casper Goodwood walk out of the sitting room and close the door behind him she stood still a little longer and then by an irresistible impulse dropped on her knees before her bed and hid her face in her arms End of Chapter 16 Recording by Sage Turtle quirkynomads.com Chapter 17 A Portrait of a Lady Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org This reading by Lucy Burgoyne The Portrait of a Lady Volume 1 by Henry James Chapter 17 She was not praying she was trembling trembling all over vibration was easy to her was in fact too constant with her and she found herself now humming like a smitten harp she only asked however to put on the cover to case herself again in Brown Holland but she wished to resist her excitement and the attitude of devotion which she kept for some time seemed to help her to be still She intensely rejoiced that Casper Goodwood was gone there was something in having thus got rid of him that was like the payment for a stamped receipt of some debt too long on her mind as she felt the glad relief she bowed her head a little lower this air throbbing in her heart it was part of her emotion but it was a thing to be ashamed of it was profane and out of place it was not for some ten minutes that she rose from her knees and even when she came back to the sitting room her tremor had not quite subsided it had had verily two causes part of it was to be accounted for by her long discussion with Mr Goodwood but it might be feared that the rest was simply the enjoyment she found in the exercise of her power she sat down in the same chair again and took up her book but without going through the form of opening the volume she leaned back with that low soft aspiring murmur which she often uttered her response to accidents of which the brighter side was not superficially obvious and yielded to the satisfaction of having refused two ardent suitors in a fortnight that love of liberty of which she had given Casper Goodwood so bold a sketch was as yet almost exclusively theoretic she had not been able to indulge it on a large scale but it appeared to her she had done something she had tasted of the delight if not a battle at least a victory she had done what was truest to her plan in the glow of this consciousness the image of Mr Goodwood taking his sad walk homeward through the dingy town presented itself in reproachful force so that as at the same moment the door of the room was open she rose with an apprehension that he had come back but it was only Henrietta Stackpole returning from her dinner Miss Stackpole immediately saw that our young lady had been through something and indeed the discovery demanded no great penetration she went straight up to her friend who received her without a greeting Isabelle's elation in having sent Casper Goodwood back to America presupposed her being in a manner glad he had come to see her but at the same time she perfectly remembered Henrietta had had no right to set a trap for her has he been here dear the latter yearningly asked Isabelle turned away and for some moments answered nothing you acted very wrongly she declared at last I acted for the best I only hope you acted as well you're not the judge I can't trust you said Isabelle this declaration was unflattering much too unselfish to heed the charge it conveyed she cared only for what it intimated with regard to her friend Isabelle Archer she observed with equal abruptness and solomity if you marry one of these people I'll never speak to you again before making so terrible a threat you had better wait till I'm asked Isabelle replied never having said a word to Miss Stackpole about Lord Warburton's obituers she had now no impulse whatever to justify herself to Henrietta by telling her that she had refused that nobleman oh you'll be asked quick enough once you get off on the continent any climber was asked three times in Italy poor plain little Annie well if any climber wasn't captured why should I be I don't believe Annie was pressed but you'll be that's a flattering conviction said Isabelle without alarm I don't flatter you Isabelle I tell you the truth cried her friend I hope you don't mean Mr. Goodwood some hope I don't see why I should tell you anything as I said to you just now I can't trust you but since you're so much interested in Mr. Goodwood I won't conceal from you that he returns immediately to America you don't mean to say you've sent him off Henrietta almost freaked I asked him to lead me alone and I asked you the same Henrietta Ms. Staffpole glittered for an instant with dismay and then passed to the mirror over the chimney piece and took off her bonnet I hope you've enjoyed your dinner Isabelle went on but her companion was not to be diverted by frivolous propositions do you know where you're going Isabelle Archer just now I'm going to bed said Isabelle with persistence frivolity do you know where you're drifting Henrietta pursued holding out her bonnet delicately no I haven't the least idea and I find it very pleasant not to know a swift carriage of a dark night rattling with four horses over roads one can't see that's my idea of happiness Mr. Goodwood certainly didn't teach you to say such things as that like the heroine of an immoral novel said Ms. Staffpole you're drifting to some great mistake Isabelle was irritated by her friend's interference yet she still tried to think what truth this declaration could represent she could think of nothing that diverted her from saying you must be very fond of me Henrietta to be willing to be so aggressive I love you intensely Isabelle said Ms. Staffpole with feeling well if you love me intensely let me as intensely alone I asked that of Mr. Goodwood and I must also ask it of you take care you're not let alone too much that's what Mr. Goodwood said to me I told him I must take the risks you're a creature of risks you make me shudder cried Henrietta when does Mr. Goodwood return to America I don't know he didn't tell me perhaps you didn't inquire said Henrietta in a note of righteous irony I gave him too little satisfaction to have the right to ask questions of him this assertion seemed to Ms. Staffpole for a moment to bid defiance to comment but at last she exclaimed well Isabelle if I didn't know you I might think you were heartless take care said Isabelle you're spoiling me I'm afraid I've done that already I hope at least Ms. Staffpole added that he may cross with any climber Isabelle learned from her the next morning that she had determined not to return to Garden Court where old Mr. Touche had promised her a renewed welcome but to await in London the arrival of the invitation that Mr. Bagling had promised her from his sister's Lady Pencil Ms. Staffpole related very freely her conversation with Ralph Touche sociable friend and declared to Isabelle that she really believed she had now got hold of something that would lead to something on the receipt of Lady Pencil's letter Mr. Bagling had virtually guaranteed the arrival of this document she would immediately depart for Bedfordshire and if Isabelle cared to look out for her impressions in the interviewer she would certainly find them Henrietta was evidently going to see something of the inner life this time do you know where you're drifting Henrietta Staffpole Isabelle asked imitating the tone that her friend had spoken the night before im drifting to a big position that of the queen of America journalism if my next letter isn't copied all over the west ill swallow my pin wiper she had arranged with her friend Miss Annie Clymer the young lady of the continental office that they should go together to make those purchases Miss Clymer's farewell to a hemisphere in which she at least had been appreciated and she presently repaired to DeMine Street to pick up her companion shortly after her departure Ralph Touche was announced and as soon as he came in Isabelle saw he had something on his mind he very soon took his cousin into his confidence he had received from his mother a telegram to the effect that his father had had a sharp attack of his old malady that she was much alarmed and that she begged he would instantly return to garden court on this occasion at least Mrs Touche's devotion to the electric wire was not open to criticism I've judged it best to see the great doctor Sir Matthew Hope first Ralph said by great good luck he's in town he's to see me at half past 12 and I shall make sure of his coming down to garden court which he will do the more readily as he has already seen my father several times both there and in London there's an express at 245 which I shall take and you'll come back with me or remain here a few days longer exactly as you prefer I shall certainly go with you Isabelle returned I don't suppose I can be of any use to my uncle but if he's ill I shall like to be near him I think you'll fond of him said Ralph with the certain shy pleasure in his face I appreciate him which all the world hasn't done the quality's too fine I quite adore him Isabelle after a moment said that's very well after his son he's your greatest admirer she welcomed this assurance but she gave secretly a small sigh of relief at the thought that Mr. Touche was one of those admirers who couldn't propose to marry her this however was not what she spoke she went on to inform Ralph that there were other reasons for her not remaining in London she was tired of it and wished to leave it and then Henrietta was going away going to stay in Bedfordshire in Bedfordshire with Lady Pencil the sister of Mr. Bantling who has answered for an invitation Ralph was feeling anxious but at this he broke into a lark suddenly nonetheless his gravity returned Bantling's a man of courage but if the invitation should get lost on the way I thought the British Post Office was impeccable the good Homer James Knott's said Ralph however he went on more brightly the good Bantling never does and whatever happens he'll take care of Henrietta Ralph went to keep his appointment with Sir Matthew Hope and Isabel made her arrangements for quitting Pratt's hotel her uncle's danger touched her nearly and while she stood before the open trunk looking about her vaguely for what she should put into it the tears suddenly rose to her eyes it was perhaps for this reason that when Ralph came back at two o'clock to take her to the station she was not yet ready he found Mr. Pol however in the sitting room where she had just risen from her luncheon he immediately expressed her regret at his father's illness he's a grand old man she said he's faithful to the last if it's really to be the last pardon my alluding to it but you must often have thought of the possibility I'm sorry that I shall not be a garden court you'll amuse yourself much more in Bedfordshire I shall be sorry to amuse myself at such a time said Henrietta with much propriety but she immediately added I should like so to commemorate the closing scene my father may live a long time said Ralph simply then adverting to topics more cheerful he interrogated Mr. Pol as to her own future now that Ralph was in trouble she addressed him in a tone of larger allowance and told him that she was much indebted to him for having made her acquaintance with Mr. Bandling he has told me just the things I want to know she said all the society items and all about the royal family I can't make out that what he tells me about the royal family is much to their credit but he says that's only my peculiar way of looking at it well all I want is that he should give me the facts I can put them together quick enough once I've got them and she added that Mr. Bandling had been so good as to promise to come and take her out that afternoon to take you where Ralph ventured to inquire to Buckingham Palace he's going to show me over it so that I may get some idea how they live ah said Ralph we leave you in good hands the first thing we shall hear is that you're invited to Windsor Castle if they ask me I shall certainly go once I get started I'm not afraid but for all that I'm not satisfied I'm not at peace about Isabel what is her last Mr. Mina well I've told you before and I suppose there's no harm in my going on I always finish a subject that I take up Mr. Goodwood was here last night Ralph opened his eyes he even blushed a little his blush being the sign of an emotion somewhat acute he remembered that Isabel in separating from him in Winchester Square had reputated his suggestion that her motive in doing so was the expectation of a visitor at Pratt's hotel and it was a new pang to him to have to suspect her of duplicity on the other hand he quickly said to himself what concern was it of his that she should have made an appointment with a lover had it not been thought graceful in every age that young lady should make a mystery of such appointments Ralph gave Mr. Stackpole a diplomatic answer I should have thought that with the views you expressed to me the other day this would satisfy you perfectly that he should come to see her that was very well as far as it went it was a little plot of mine I let him know that we were in London and when it had been arranged that I should spend the evening out I sent him a word the word we just uttered to the wise I hoped he would find her alone I won't pretend I didn't hope that you'd be out of the way he came to see her but he might as well have stayed away Isabel was cruel and Ralph's face lighted with the relief of his cousins not having shown duplicity I don't exactly know what passed between them but she gave him no satisfaction she sent him back to America poor Mr. Goodwood Ralph sighed her only idea seems to be to get rid of him Henrietta went on poor Mr. Goodwood Ralph repeated the exclamation it must be confessed was automatic it failed exactly to express his thoughts which were taking another line you don't say that as if you felt it I don't believe you care ah said Ralph you must remember that I don't know this interesting young man that I've never seen him well I shall see him and I shall tell him not to give up if I didn't believe Isabel would come around Miss Stackpile added well I'd give up myself I mean I'd give her up End of Chapter 17