 Hey, tribe of dream men and women. So welcome back. This is episode two of Living in a smart light slash spiritual school so We finished up the previous episode of me going there for the first time three months and I Came back with the way I got a bit depressed and my mom said Go back to your purpose. So let's continue from there So part of the story which I engaged you and on the first part is When I met my key to instructor for the first time for like a personal meeting which we had once a week more or less and I told him I wanted to become an IQ instructor and he Told me that I will have to stay at least for six months for half a year And I was planning to stay only for three months to get a black belt Also to just in case you were freaking out I did I kiddo for like four years before in Lithuania So it wasn't like, you know, you get a black belt in six months, but also you're training like 15 times per week So so you know it was all of that and I was freaking out because for a young mind It seemed forever. I thought I was naive obviously, but I thought I trained for four months So I just go there for three months I trained my the hell out of myself and you know Just like really really dig everything and and learn everything and that's that's kind of how I was I was always switched on I was always Listening to everything he said did everything he told me to and read all the books and I was like mad in regards to learning I was sucking everything in I was a super devoted student and And so when he told me that I Need to stay for a few more months. I was like, oh, that's forever But you know to get kind of okay, so I keep it together or because you will make it funny part is I come back for the second time And I think it was like August. Yeah, and I Start kind of feeling the vibe and getting started and initially interesting also to use the first time I came I was super confident over confident the second time I came I was a bit more humble You know, I got that in the lost in confusion mode. I burnt myself out I burnt myself out a little bit by trying to change the world too early surprise surprise and I So I came back a little bit more humble But then as soon enough I go to a personal meeting with my kid on structure again And I tell him that you know my plan is the same still I still want to open my own dojo or teach Aikido in my country I'll stay here, you know and get the black belt and go and he looks me. He's like, well, you know, actually you should stay here for a year Get your black belt because then the black belt passing was more or less in a year It's like I think it's gonna be good for you to stay for a year get your black belt and my brain is exploding I came back for six months, which seemed a lot for me and he's telling me to stay for twice longer So basically I came there the first time for three months. He told me to stay for six months, which is twice longer I come back for six months. He tells me to stay twice longer, which is a year and my mind is freaking out I'm like, holy crap a year. That's like ages and I'm gonna get all that time And then I'm gonna miss out so many things and I want to go back to the way Yeah, I want to now open my school I want to teach Aikido there and help people and so I was freaking out, but I was like, okay You know what? Okay. I will do this. I Trust him. I believe in him if it's a year if it's it's a year If we I continue down that storyline about eight months past my black belt exam is coming closer and We meet for a meeting again and he tells me So when you're gonna go back with Wayne after you get your black belt What what do you want to what are you gonna work for? What job are you gonna work on the side to support your dojo? I was like What do you mean? And he's like well, you know, if you're gonna run an Aikido club, you know, teach Monday Wednesday Friday you'll initially you'll still need to kind of Support yourself because you're not gonna make a lot of money you'll need to support yourself by doing best working something else on the side and It makes sense. I think it was a smart suggestion from him. And so he asked me So what are you gonna work on the side? And I was like There's nothing I really want to work on I work as and he started giving me options. He's like, well, maybe you want to be a waiter at least or you know Anything else like what inspires you and I kept thinking and thinking I was like Nothing inspires me. I'm like, I want to be a full-on Professional like you don't structure. There's nothing else. I want to do I'm fooling on this I don't want to do anything else on the side and He listened and he's like, well, okay. Well, I can I can dig that and he's and he tells me so that means Probably then that means you should stay another year Then you will get your second degree black belt You will and then he's told me then then you should maybe also consider becoming a yoga instructor because if you run a full school You know that kind of differentiates the classes and you have different people in different classes So it's going to be easier to support yourself again in that way and maybe you should also by the end of it go to a India for a month or two to kind of settle in and get more life experience before you start and I think it's a great again. It was a great advice great suggestion. But again looking back my mind is freaking out You know because I'm like crap. That's again double That's again double from what I was planning to do and it's a one more year. That's forever and then I stopped I caught myself doing that and I actually remember that moment very vividly Which is which is pretty pretty instinct and I caught myself. I was like I've been here before I've been here before This is not the way to go and and I caught myself and I said, you know what orcas Let's do this don't think about when you will leave just focus on being there become so good You know like like learn everything possible become so good that people would look at you and they would say You don't have anything else to gain here from rocas. You're like you're you're you're too good for us It's like you learned everything just go, you know, we had enough of you And I thought I will I will dedicate myself to such degree that that that would happen that I wouldn't have to ask Can I leave already open my dojo that they would kind of kick me out and say we had enough you you're ready to open your dojo It's interesting like again following the storyline that that's actually what happened a year passed from that day and I Passed my second degree black belt exam and everyone was really impressed Now that I look back at it. I'm like, I could have been better But but there are some moments where I did I did apparently they did a really good job and Everyone in the community where they're like, whoa was one of the best examples I ever saw and so on and so on and everyone's super super impressed and And I was doing a lot of work like I was that's all I was living and breathing And reading all the books and training extra, you know with 15 classes per week. I was still doing extra training and Again a moment I remember very vividly is The year was coming to an end like this physical year calendar year and We were chilling doing the Christmas vacation that was closed and we're making our schedule for the next year and My keto instructor told me said well, you know what I think Rokas you're Yeah, usually that this and that date should would be good for you to leave and open your dojo. I'm like I'm freaking out I didn't see that coming it was really weird I was so pumped all that time before to to go out there and open my dojo I could I was so looking for I couldn't I couldn't wait for it And then I settled in to just kind of becoming a great student being a great student And the day when the day came and I didn't see it coming and he told me now We should schedule when you're gonna leave The dojo to open your thing and I was like Holy crap, is this real? Is this really happening? I really having that conversation. I was freaking out I was like, am I ready to leave? I'm I started almost feeling anxious and And I I was surprised because in the past I just wanted to I was like looking for for that day so much to be told Go out there and open a dojo and when I was when that day came. I Was confused. I was almost Scared, but then I settled into it. I was like, you know what? Okay, that means I'm ready And a while later eventually, you know, I went to India for that month I came back to the way and there's an episode of how that went But so it's a very interesting kind of storyline of that whole process But there's a lot of things that happened meanwhile So I've come back to that so one of the things I Mentioned was me going to personal meetings with my a kid instructor They were kind of like coaching spiritual coaching, I guess and It was very specific and it was actually really intense to you. It's something I do look back and I appreciate that Thing it wasn't always done in the best way, but I kind of appreciate that that hard school Psychological school you help me grow a lot But it's it's it's an interesting method now that I look back So the way it would happen if we come back even to these first three months The very first time I went to Switzerland to live in the school We would sit down for the coffee and My kid instructor would ask what I want and I told no one to come I can instructor And I can't remember exactly what I said, but I guess the lines of the thought was like I want to help people and want to be you know inspiring and so on and then that never changed and and He then would ask certain questions and give certain feedback But most of times when we would meet He would be very specific in pointing out the differences between what you said and what you do or what you did And it's kind of again an interesting methodology basically the way it went So let's say I wanted to I would say to him. I want to be more honest and Because we spend all so much time together He would catch those moments when I wouldn't be honest per se Not it's not like a specific example, but a general example So he would caught catch that and we would sit down for the coffee He's like, well, do you remember you told me that you want to be more honest But that day at that moment you did this and that and I was like Holy crap or whenever I would have like a naive thought something he wouldn't agree about and sometimes To a correct degree like I had kind of a faulty idea He would break that down and he would point it out and he would show you your flaws really well He's like look you're doing this wrong, you know this part of you is you're saying this and you're saying and you're doing that and He would prove that some of the Thoughts that you have or ideas are false through kind of rational logical Breaking down or just kind of not always sometimes it was you know his own perspective But but still it was an interesting process because it's it always challenged and I know it wasn't just for me All of the especially the long termers which he did she's who lived with in the school We would all come back from those meetings half broken because he would push us to the to the kind of Furthest points of pointing out you your flaws and making you admit that you're wrong in some places I Think you know I wasn't like ego sent you from him It was it was really he was really trying to kind of you know in that specific way today to help you out in True so the way I would describe it. He would kind of break you down Or you would realize oh my god. I was wrong, you know, oh my god I screwed up I didn't do what I said I want to do and usually by the end of the meeting There would be like a sense of panic or a sense of complete confusion and lot you're like I Thought I knew you come into that meaning feeling like I know my stuff I know my shit and then at the end of meaning you're like I don't know anything and you come back you're lost and confused and again I know that most of us experience that's the same and For a couple of days you're completely You know confused and you're thinking so what's right. What's wrong? Where am I feeling and so on and then slowly you start to kind of Build yourself up again, and you're reconstructing yourself, and you're like well actually no You know he's right here, and I could improve here, and you know what actually I think this is true And by the end of the week you would kind of feel like you're back on your feet And you meet again and the same exact thing happens at some of those meetings. I almost cried You know I'm not I'm not a big cryer. I don't cry often But at some of those meetings I all it was like I was that close to crying. He pushed me to the furthest points interesting thing to you is I Told him to as well that was his methodology, but also early enough when we met I told him You know what I want to learn as fast as I can I want to learn as much as I can You hit me with everything don't spare me Don't hold back on me if there's something that you have for me give it You know just like go full-on don't don't don't hesitate on on Telling me about stuff because you think you know I won't take it I'm like I'm gonna take it all and sometimes he would push me where I was like breaking down and almost crying He's like remember of course you asked for it. You asked for this is like If you follow that storyline specifically That that was very evident the first year I lived there The first in the first year of our relationship By the beginning of and mid of middle of second month second year, sorry That started to change I started it was harder It became more and more difficult for him to catch my flaws not because I was hiding them Not at all actually but just because you know I started to see what he's talking about and I would I would be able to You know I would slip less and less in telling that I want to do something and not acting on it my words and my actions became more and more consistent and And also to I mean yeah, I mentioned to you I really want to You know Present the positive side here, but I'll just slightly mention this part You know also to I think it's important to kind of recognize that maybe also because I understood His perspective and I was able to relate with it and I did it in a sincere way But you know I was able to know what he's expecting To know what he believes in and those became my beliefs as well. And so we clicked more, you know, I didn't challenge him I didn't question him and Maybe you know that's when I when I was saying that whatever he's saying is true because I believed it He didn't challenge me so much in the past if I'd be like well, what about this, you know And he would prove me wrong in some way Then, you know, I would be in a crisis. So again, it's kind of a consideration But then by the end of coming back to the story by the end of second year Or second year mid-second year, I was like I was barely challenged anymore, you know, we were on the same page I was really, you know playing my game at the top level and those challenges didn't come across anymore So eventually that changed but the first year it was really intense It was really tough, especially for me being, you know, an 18-19 year old guy thinking I know everything and being proved I don't know nothing But for those deconstructions and reconstructions, I feel that they empowered me in a way Where I feel like, you know, that that may be more mature and ready to face Big challenges and to know what I believe in and to know what I'm about There's also the dark side which I spoke about other videos Not that it was all perfect, but as I promised, I will focus on the good side Looking at the whole experience one more time just reflecting about the whole thing One more challenge was which I didn't see coming was living in a community living in a close Community like we were spending a lot of time together the luchides We barely had any personal space. We cooked for each other as well. And we were also all in that intense process where we were questioned all the time and and we were questioning our beliefs and We were pushed her to our edge. And so that kind of came across Because we were pushed to the edge. We kind of ended up pushing each other to the edge And this is a slight moment I'll mention I which is my personal belief I mentioned in some other videos that I feel my my Instructor was using fear and kind of judgment to keep us in line and we did that to each other Which I think was the worst part You know, we were really judgmental of each other and not like on all levels like oh, you're you know You suck at this but but especially in terms of like Household things, you know, somebody would fuck up some Chore that they have to do and we that was part of our deal. We were cleaning the dojo and cooking for each other and etc. Etc So if somebody fucked up something we were all like really heavy on it. I think I was the lightest I didn't like that already, but still I was part of the game So we're all kind of punishing each other for our mistakes. And so it was like really sometimes it was better Sometimes it was worse, but eventually actually I became the senior student. I was the I was the senior uchi deshi So I was kind of setting up the vibe and I think When I was the most senior one, I was setting up the vibe. I made it lighter and more friendly and so on But beforehand there was another person who was the senior uchi deshi and that person was very critical quite judgmental And and that was kind of the vibe that was set up. So it was even worse So that was a lot that was very intense So like like constantly knowing that you're under the radar You're under the magnifying glass as soon as you're gonna fuck up everyone's gonna tell you that it was stressful, but also That made me learn to live in a community to be also We're forced and that was kind of part of the vibe part of the culture there to always Confront each other if see if you don't like something and something is you know You think it's unjust you go and confront each other and you talk about it and you talk it out And I don't think that that's the best way to go But but that was the the hard core school for me Because I learned to deal with conflict all the time We're like so there were so many conflicts so many times we had to talk to each other and and face each other That by the end when I came back to Lithuania, and I was so used to that I appreciate that that part because I went through hell when my students would Challenge me or or we would have some discussion or there was some Conflict that I needed to address and confront. I had no problem till this day I'm not that afraid to come in cut if somebody wants to talk about with me about something heavy I'm like, let's do this man. I've done this so many times. I don't feel uncomfortable So that's a superpower. I guess that that I gained from that living of hell to a degree Yeah, and and I think just a couple more things The the another really cool moment of the story kind of unique that I feel will be valuable for you to hear Is that the first time I came there the first three months and then again the second time I came For a couple months. I was so inspired. I was so hyped that That I was not I was barely sleeping I was reading books all the time and I was training I would go out on the map because the map was always accessible and I would just do my solo practice like at 4am or something I was super inspired and that was kind of crazy and I did a lot of experiments Like I was like, what if I don't sleep at all or what if I eat only when I'm offered to eat or stuff like that So I got a lot of explorations and that was wild, but I you know, I also learned a lot But another interesting part of the story is that after those three months of spending there at the time initially When I came back to Lithuania Actually, I lost most of my friends Which is interesting now if you look back Because I was so changed, you know, I and I felt like I was changed I did change but also I felt I feel like I felt that I changed I believed in that change so much and I was so hyped about what was being taught there That my friends have a difficult time to connect with me anymore. They're like, who's this guy? They loved me as a joker as before But I came back, you know with all these new ideas and inspirations and some of my friends stayed but some of them were like, well Okay, he's too weird for us and there's good and bad in that. I think at that time I was more focusing on blaming them They're like, oh, you know, I'm just on a different level and they don't understand me now that I look back Maybe you know, maybe I was a bit too You know, cultish too Hyped about the whole thing and and later I toned down and I could relate to them more Maybe I pushed things too far at that day But it was an interesting experience that that that some of them couldn't take my changes and kind of I lost friends because of that I guess it's worth a whole different exploration But I try to when I talk in those videos the lesson I learned the hard way I really want to give you The the best of the best of my discoveries. I don't want to think out loud too much on record So maybe it's something I'll think about more next time and talk about in a different video So, yeah wrapping things up. There were a lot of different things that happened there Yeah, there were really a lot of things that happened here a lot of There are a lot of experiences. I really felt like I matured. I learned so much But also to you, there's a lot of things I didn't learn But that's evident in some of the other stories I already told you and will tell you No, I didn't really learn so much about life. The school was so spiritual That I was kind of adept adept and good at understanding that spiritual realm you know Being in the flow being one with the universe and then kind of using your intuition and trusting life That was a big subject big top topic You know that life is intelligent and it guides you where you need to be And I kind of believe a little bit of that still of course I'm more skeptical about that But but I was like all about that And the thing that's what also made me made me exciting to my Aikido students when I came back to Lithuania and opened my dojo They were all like holy crap. Who's this, you know, some spiritual being here But but there were also a lot of things I did learn and some of the realities weren't really addressed so You know, there were pros and cons but But as I said, I really wanted to share with you the Positive side of the story and I hope you got some interesting cool bits and Pieces from it. If you're interested about some other aspect of that whole experience, let me know Often actually very often I still I usually try to make these about 40 minutes long at most so So I think I still have a few minutes to tap touch that a lot of people ask me about money It's like, how did you support yourself? So maybe I'll just write a way answer it here. So the thing is I have to say huge. Thank you to my parents. They they they were supporting me financially although it was tough for them But they were helping me out and I'm grateful for that from the bottom of my heart But it wasn't I wasn't putting it all on their shoulders I did work my ass off while I was after those three months When I came back to Lithuania initially Um before I went back to switzerland. I worked like I worked in my dad's company. I was digging actually this This house that stands there My dad built it. So at that house. I was I was digging Holes there before it was built and I was also at the same place I was also being a security guard just walking around and showing that someone is there Uh, but the money was still low and our economy in Lithuania was way lower than switzerland's So the money I earned through a few months of hard work You know, I It lasted to me in in switzerland. It lasted me like a month or two months The economy is just so higher so much higher there so much more expensive Yeah, so I was always I was always saving money I was all I was never a big spender and then I was really buying the the cheapest things and really Making sure I don't spend much money outside like going to restaurants or something was not I could not do that By no means like if I bought a kebab once in a month for company with others. It was like wow The kebab was just like So expensive for me. So I bought only the cheapest of the cheapest things and Yeah, so I learned my ways around that and also to People some people are generous around that area. So in the bigger community of that school Some people would give me some Chores for them to do and they would pay me money like, oh, you know, I need someone to set up my phone can come in and you know Set it up for me or walk my dog. I was walking a dog of my friend In switzerland and he was paying me money for that Which is pretty good money because you know, it was swiss standards And my kid own structure I have to be grateful for him as well because sometimes he would give us some work like in the dojo to build something Right his house to build something and he would pay us money for that and he knew I needed money So so he was more generous in those options. So I do appreciate that and also But but the first year was harder because you know, I was still just building my way up But when I got my black belt, it started to become easier Because first of all, my instructor gave me the option to teach private classes, which I wasn't that bad at And people would take those private classes often enough with me and I got some extra money And he also gave me the job offered me the job of cleaning his house Which he gave me some money for which again, I really appreciate that um and Yes, I was actually cleaning his house for about like Almost two years. It was like a free story. It's free for building. So there's a lot of cleaning But but still I can't complain. You know, I got some money for that And also to I eventually he gave me the senior position Of the you know, when I became the senior uchi deshi He also gave me some discounts and this and that For with the deal that you know, I will be supervising the uchi deshi's and You know, I will be taking more responsibilities teaching some aikido classes for him if he wasn't around So so yeah, I I kind of was looking for options myself Sometimes people would offer me stuff. My parents were always supporting me But the further I went into the less I needed support from them Because I I didn't I never wanted to be supported mainly by them I wanted to make sure that you know, I don't abuse their finances Uh, but yeah, and as far as you know, we have some hard misunderstand misunderstandings or hard Hard disagreements with my former aikido instructors. I said, I am grateful for some of the things he did And that's one of them, you know, he he definitely Tried to make The program accessible to me and gave me options and so on. So But that's kind of how I financed and supported myself there But yeah, aside from that if you have any questions about some details Let me know and you know, maybe I'll just make another episode in the future about that But I think there these are some main Fun parts of that story. I'm sure I'm missing some there's so much But at least you kind of have an overview and a feeling of What it was and how it went so so you have more questions. Let me know Thank you for staying with me for these whole two episodes I hope they were valuable and you learned something good from it And as always keep questioning and I'll see you in the next one Actually, you know what? I just realized I was kind of sitting here looking back at the footage that I already recorded And I realized there's one more important valuable thing. I wanted to share with y'all And that I kind of introduced but never summed it up as a valuable message Uh, I guess I spoke about that a little bit in one of the previous episodes of opening my own Like, you know dojo and I slightly point it to that But I feel that story and that particular part, you know, where I was completely devoted I was I was like like madly Always learning and picking everything up and being more attentive asking more questions and training more than anyone else I think that was part of the reason I was able to open my successful school My own school and obviously, you know, there were there were other elements my passion my enthusiasm and so on but but that also gave me confidence because It's something I keep reminding myself and in general, you know, people talk about the importance of niche Expertise I agree. They're super important And they were super important, especially back then to me as a young person and trying to establish myself in this world and provide value Uh, but the fact that I was so madly devoted to learning I was reading more than anyone else. I was Doing all those at extra training and putting all that extra attention and effort I think that did lead me to kind of go further At the game than most people around me or even though I was young and I was a big challenge for me I was a young guy wanting to do something which usually older people do I'm meaning Aikido instructor and I knew that I need to come somehow step up the game to balance out the scales So that really helped because by being so devoted to learning to to being a great student I I learned more things than usually I was technically capable of knowing in that age And that's kind of something I wanted to reflect with you quickly about is I feel it's an important lesson, especially I guess with millenniums These days and it's something I bumped into While I was running my own dojo. I had some volunteers in the end millennium, you know that that age Guys who or girls who were in crisis And I realized the articles that I read they were true The article said I threw the erected Conversations with them. I learned that whatever the article said turned out to be true, especially in those cases And I'm sure there's more is because those guys that I met and ladies They were born into having all of these things already You know laptops internet and so on and and they're surrounded by the stardom of youtube and instagram And they come to a conclusion that kind of you know, they're special Already just because they're born Not really the way the world works But they have that idea that you know as soon as they'll go out in the world They're going to create something amazing But the thing is until you put in the grind until you put in the work until you dig deeper than anyone else It will be difficult for you to create anything exceptional anything valuable And so I'm very happy I did that myself and that's something I would recommend to anyone who wants to open their dojo Who wants to create something amazing is first you need to do a lot of grinding You need to do a lot of work need to choose a direction and go wild in it. And again, I'm happy I did that and that tremendously helped me when I opened my dojo Obviously, there were so many lessons. I still didn't know there were so many things I still Wasn't aware of and I had to learn for the hard way through direct experience Some of them just couldn't be taught by anyone else. You have to go through these things But the but the baggage of knowledge and experience I already had Definitely made my path easier for me. And and that's again a moment where I appreciate That my Aikido instructor didn't let me go off the hook too easy and didn't let me go to Open my Aikido school too early because then probably I would have burned out and In an early stage and I wouldn't have handled it and I wouldn't have given enough to my students And the thing would have fell apart At early stages But the fact that I went there with such confidence and knowledge where I could easily sit down with another Aikido instructor who's like, you know 30 40 years old and and has been in the game forever But I could sit down with him and discuss about stuff and and provide value to him to a degree And prove that I'm good at what I do because of all the hard work that I put in So as the last message for this episode that that's something I wanted to make sure I do say And it's a recurring subject. I'll probably keep on coming back in various videos is putting a lot of work don't don't you know, don't rush Into giving and that's something I need to sometimes I might need in myself But don't rush into getting first of all make sure you get and that's one of the reasons why I'm I I'm all about reading books again and I want to also excel and my knowledge before I give Even more to people. So so it's it's kind of a balance of learning and not hesitating to give So yeah, quick reflection. I think it's available. So keep questioning