 Hello everyone, welcome to another Nox survivor live video. I have been traveling a lot recently So I haven't been able to get on you here as much But I really want to share this with you. I'm coming from Kosmui Island in Thailand right now Life from my villa and I've just been sitting out here thinking about something That Many of us come to the realisation of at some point But in this video I really want to hit home about it The narcissist behaviour has nothing to do with you They want to make us identify with it They want to make us think that we are the cause of it As though they weren't that way Until we were a part of their lives But it's just not true They were like that before us They will be like that after we've gone they've always been this way Or at least since their childhood And as time goes by the behaviour just gets worse But they always find a way to deny it or justify it That is why it just keeps continuing But I want to in this video relieve you of The responsibility for a grown adult Because if you've been with a narcissist You will know what I'm talking about It's like they make you feel like you're responsible for their lives For their health and happiness And they may even come out and tell you That you are responsible for them As though you're their caretaker Because that's really all they were looking for when they targeted you anyway They were looking for someone to take responsibility for them To take responsibility for their lives So naturally It was inevitable that this relationship was going to fail Because that is an unrealistic expectation to put on anyone Even if you have children It isn't long until You're teaching them independence Even though they may be young You want them to take on Some responsibility In their lives You want them to go to school You want them to listen in class You want them to do their homework And these are young children we're talking about but I guess These narcissists were never taught about responsibility They just expect someone else To take on that role for them. That's why it seems like you're dealing with a big baby someone who has these temper tantrums Where it's like they always need to be burped and fed It's not healthy For you or for them But they don't really care they make it like they would need to fix all of these problems for them But at some point you realize there's no problem at all because They're quite comfortable in these types of environments They like it when there's problems At least then they can blame their internal condition on something in the external environment Something that they wouldn't be able to do if there were no problems Which is why If you are a very strong and determined empath And you go out of your way to make everything perfect for them That is When you will see the real problem You will see the true dysfunction and that should be when you come to the conclusion That their behavior really has nothing to do with you because no matter what you do it's not going to change anything They're always going to be this way So you can try and fix it all You can try and make their lives as convenient and as easy as possible But it's not going to have an effect on their behavior because What you're doing or not doing Really has no effect on anything You can turn yourself inside out It is not going to make a difference Because it has nothing to do with your behavior And their behavior has nothing to do with you And that's why I say Show me a selfish greedy dissatisfied narcissistic person And then show me someone in their lives Was managed to make them happy And satisfied over a long period of time It just doesn't happen I mean they can try and display the false image to you You know this perfect family image that every narcissist wants to present But deep down you know that person is either being manipulated or exploited It's always fake The truth is If you are involved with a narcissist You do need to look At yourself And wonder How did you get involved in this? Why are you even with them? Because the truth is No one with any self-esteem Is going to want to be involved with them Your self-esteem must have taken a hit from a previous situation Which then led you into this one And I say this because I know it all too well myself I've struggled with low self-esteem Being self-loved deficient Because that's really how you've got to look at it If you Feel that you are worthy If you love yourself If you have high self-esteem You probably wouldn't find yourself in these situations And while maybe There are some occasions where people Who do love themselves and have high self-esteem They may be tricked by narcissists But they're not going to remain in these situations They're going to get out early on Because they know that they deserve better I mean if you have A narcissistic person Who is Making progress in their lives Maybe then you could justify staying If you can actually see real productive Behavior from them But if all you're seeing is destruction And you still choose to remain around them That's when you've got to look at yourself And I'm not Taking away anything from what they do Of course they are fully to blame For their actions And of course they do go out of their way to target people With low self-esteem But if we want this to stop At some point we have to look at ourselves And wonder what led us into these things Because the truth is Anything that is bad Whether you find yourself Smoking or doing drugs Alcohol Addictions to sex or pornography Being involved with narcissists All of these things It all stems from low self-esteem It all stems from being self-love deficient Just think about it for a moment Can you imagine anyone With high self-esteem Anyone who truly loves themselves Can you imagine a person like that Doing any of those things It just wouldn't happen So I just want to leave you there With something to think about Thank you all for joining this video And there will be more videos soon Here on Koh Samui Island In Thailand Thank you all for watching and I'll talk to you soon