 Hey guys, so today I'm in Stevens Institute of Technology. We are sitting on campus and we want to give you a real close and personal view of how it is studying in US, living in New York, especially if you're a girl. So I have with me, Vandita here. Hi guys, I am Vandita Manohar. So basically I'm doing my master's here in Business Intelligence and Analytics. And yep, I study in Stevens Institute of Technology as you can see. The only thing that we have the best is the view. So we're utilizing this and I'm excited to have this conversation with Sachi because I mean like everybody would want to know how life here in New York and New Jersey is. So yep, let's get candid. So I'm going to ask her questions and I know a lot of you DM us ask her these questions. So really hope that this video gives you an authentic view of how it is to do all of this on your own. So keep on watching. So Vandita, first thing, why New York? Like was it always a dream or just happened? No, it was always a dream because I started watching Gossip Girl very young in my life and I'm not even kidding. While watching it, I was so inspired because I mean I always thought that New Yorkers have a very quick and fast life and they're just so happy. Everybody was just in their own world and working and all of that. And obviously the city is a different vibe altogether. It does not feel like you're somewhere in the same world. So watching all of that online, I was very inspired. I knew for a fact I had to come here by Hookup by Crook and that too like before I turned 25. So this was, you know, this was there and every day like I didn't know how it happened but it kind of like happened pretty quick. Stevens, I applied to so many colleges but Stevens I got an admit and I just knew like this is where I'm going to be. So yeah, New York it is and can't be happier. So in a nutshell, if you have to describe your experience of one year. Do you feel like you're in a movie? I did initially. Not lying, yeah. Initially I did. As soon as I came here, it was fun because everything was so different. Back in India, things are so different. Over here, things are like completely different. There is no judgment. Everybody is just doing their own thing and you might be walking around with a big phone or a big tripod. Nobody cares. Nobody even turns and looks at you and gives you the weird look. So that's the best part and that was for me a very big thing. Slippery thing, right? Yeah, it is like the kind of freedom that you experience and once you like live into it and then later it just fades off. Like slowly, slowly life hits you hard and you get into work and home works and you don't really get the time that you really need. So yeah, it felt like a movie initially but now it's more like a responsibility. If I need to keep living here, I need to like work really hard. So it's now pretty hard. Okay. So by the way, she has her YouTube channel in which she shares more videos on life in the US. Go check that out. I'm going to leave the link for that in the description box as well. One of the videos in your channel is about the journey, right? The flight that you took. How does one prepare for that phase where most of the people watching this would have lived in their house just like you, you know? There's still now and then suddenly now you're going to move countries and pretty much be responsible for yourself. So how did you prepare for that phase? Honestly, I didn't prepare because I didn't really... It happens so quick. Everything happens so quick and I came here during the pandemic, like the last phases of the pandemic. So I didn't really know what to do and how to do. At home, everything was so easy for me. It was pampered. I came here. The whole journey felt like nothing. Just numb. I was just numb because it took me so much time to actually understand that, okay, this is my life now. When I left, it felt like, okay, I'm going on a vacation. I did cry somewhere around it at the airport. Things did hit me when I saw all my friends, my family standing outside and I didn't know when I'd see them next. So that uncertainty that you have that hit me. After coming here, it just felt like, you know, it felt surreal. Like, I made it. That was my first thought. But eventually it hit. Like, you know, homesickness doesn't hit quick. Some people it does probably, but for me, it took its own sweet time when all the excitement faded away. That's when I was like, shit. When you have to be naked. I need to know what categorize my days according to, today I'm washing vessels or this time I'm washing vessels. Today is my laundry day. So I need to like keep time for all of this. I need to vacuum the house. It's too overwhelming at a point. So I was like, no. And you need to like live with different people from different places and you know, not everybody can do it. So you didn't prepare, right? Like you said, but if somebody wants to sort of, they have the time and you know, they want a little bit more structure to this process. What are the three things you recommend doing before you get on that flight? The first thing I would say is learn to genuinely be independent when it, not just you know, while doing your chores and stuff like that, but mentally, you cannot, one thing I've learned here is you cannot be emotionally dependent on anybody. Emotionally independent, what does that mean? You can't constantly wait for somebody to be there for you to, there's no shoulder to cry on all the time. Sometimes you're going to have to sit at home, cry, tap yourself on the back saying, listen, you need to do this. So get up and go. You need to pick yourself up and that is the biggest lesson that I've learned after coming here. So if there's one thing, like anything and everything, nothing can prepare you honestly to come here. But if there's one thing that you can start doing, is learning how to like genuinely do things for yourself and be on your own financially also, like try to make good decisions because I mean, right here nobody is going to tell you what time to come back home. Nobody is here to look out for you. You have to look out for yourself and you need to be really careful when you're out. So be self aware, have your own things to do in your own time and don't just be academically oriented. Just have some passion that you follow because on days that you feel so bad, those little things that you do probably painting or just I make videos. So for me that kept me going. Okay. So be independent, have a hobby to keep yourself occupied. Yeah. And financial, you need to learn how to be financially good. Learn how to manage your finances. Yeah. As a girl here in New York, so I call her the girl in New York. So as a girl here in New York, can you share like three learnings or three insights, something you wish somebody had sat you down and told you, hey listen, you need to know these three things. So this as a girl specifically, I mean this applies to guys as well but girls are very gullible in most cases. So I was told that whenever you're clubbing or going out or wherever it is, you may not necessarily need to drink but if somebody is offering you anything, even a glass of water, if it comes to your table, do not touch it. Okay. Do not take it. And do not be too friendly with people. Okay. You need to know where to like draw that line and that is very important. Like having boundaries, especially when you're here and alone and in New York is very important and again being self-aware. Like just knowing how and where things are and what is happening around you with your people, it's as important as being very independent. It's like you can fight for yourself, but do not even put yourself in that situation. Just learn to pick up signs. Have you had any safety concerns? Did you feel unsafe at any point of time? Being in this city. Not really but there was this one incident. It was pretty like, I came here in August, so I think September mid, I did have this. So I was in a park that is very close to my house at 2-3 in the morning. The neighborhood that I live in, it's pretty fine. Like 2-3 a.m. What are you doing? So I had an assignment to submit. After this whole mental breakdown, I was like I need a break, so I walked out. And it was pretty safe. It's not bad. And the park is like literally five minutes from my house. So I went and you get the view and that's the best thing. So I was just sitting there and you know, I heard about this but I'm not really sure how true it is. But you get these hooting calls and that's how different gangs talk. Okay. So I wasn't aware of it and I did get to hear quite a lot that day. So that was one incident. And the second thing is similar. When I was in that same park going back home, there was this one guy who kept following. Okay. So here is where my instincts kicked in. I didn't know if he was just going his way or if he was following me. So at that point of time, I did try to take a right and then I did take a left and then I realized that he is following me. Okay. So when I got closer to my house, I should have actually dialed numbers but I just didn't have the time to. So as soon as I got closer to the house, I started sprinting. And the minute I started sprinting, he actually ran. So that's when I was like, okay, like he was actually following. So I ran in and I just opened the door and I shut it. And that guy waited there. Like I could see it, right? So that guy waited there for almost 10, 15 minutes even before he left that place. And I don't know if he was in a senses. It didn't look like he was but it was like that one incident was so scary that I stopped going out at that point of time. Literally. I didn't know how to process it. So for like the whole week, I was just like so scared to even step out. But I didn't tell this to anyone because I didn't want to like put them through that whole thing. So that whole week, I thought maybe he's going to come back, maybe today he'll come back. Fortunately, he hasn't. So basically you need to be on your guard and take care of the time you're on. You need to act very quick. You can't be like, oh maybe, maybe no. There is no maybe here. There is yes or no. So figure out if you think your sixth sense tells you so much and that's what I learned that here. If you feel that something is not okay and you're uncomfortable in any which way, there is no compromise. Just get up and leave. Okay. One thing about Vandita is she's very organized. She has her routines. She has a fitness routine. If you follow her in style, you'll see all of that. She I think has a study routine. It's been a journey. She has a care routine. So and I think this is where a lot of people struggle with being organized. Tell us about a day in your life. What are these routines and what do they do for you? So I think last year when I came here, there was obviously a lot of emotions in me. So my routine, my whole schedule was all over the place. If you let your mental health get bad here, you can't function. You can't do basic life stuff. And I lost my routine, my schedules. My room looked like I'm living out of some trash. Literally. It was a dump yard. All my clothes, everything. And you cannot work in a cluttered space. Like your head just... Because they were managing so many things. You have your chores. You have assignments. You have your classes. And the thing is I shifted from electrical to data science. So that was again very... I'm still not like my confidence is still like building up to an extent where I can apply for jobs. But it was hard. And internship search and life in general here got very hard for me. So after going and I got this reset in my life and that's when I understood I came back and I came back with a routine. So now, a regular day in my life is I wake up around 7, 7, 7, 13 max. And once I'm awake, regardless of what I have to do or know, I'm just awake. So I have my first meal. Not exactly breakfast, but I have... I have a big glass of milk. It's a malt that makes my mom make. It's very healthy. So I have that. I have an egg and some nuts. So that's my first part of it. Then I shower and freshen up and everything. After that, I make proper breakfast. So it's usually Indian breakfast at that point of time or just granola and stuff like that. Then if I have work, I sit and finish everything up. And by I think 1.30. So when I'm making my breakfast, I prep for lunch. So you're not spending too much time in the kitchen. So you prep for lunch. I think all the boys watching this need to learn some basic cooking. So we'll come here if you don't know basic cooking. Basic button washing and all that. And also what she's saying, right? Learn to sort of do everything. Organise your cooking part in one shot. Don't plan cooking 3 times a day. It helps me so much. If I stand in the kitchen, maybe 45 minutes max. My breakfast is ready, my lunch is ready. And the same thing I eat for dinner. So I spend just 45 minutes to 1 hour in the whole day being in the kitchen. So you're eating healthy and also saving a lot of money. Yeah, saving money, saving time. And you just have food at home so you're not sleeping hungry. Correct. And when your assignments and everything get too hectic, you can pause and you can just go grab a meal and come back and do it. Sometimes people finish doing it and then start cooking. So people start cooking at 9, 10 in the night. Obviously the whole routine after that is messed up. That can't work. So I have my lunch around 1.32. I have a snack now at around 4. Then I go to the gym. Or I attend classes and then I go to the gym at night at around 9 o'clock in the night. Finish everything, I go back home. Usually my assignments are submitted at 12. So whatever last minute stuff I need to do, I do it. And that's it, I submit that by around 12.31. You're asleep. I'm sleeping, I talk to everybody. So when I'm doing all of this, if I'm cooking, I call up people from India. So I have entertainment, so I'm talking to them and I'm cooking so it doesn't feel like a task on a whole day. If you manage your time this way, then you don't feel it's hectic. But if you don't manage, I've been on both sides. So I haven't managed them before and even like tiny, tiny things were hard. Now I can do 5 different things in a day and not be tired. So it comes with a little bit of trial and error because it might look different for you, might look different for everyone. It does. You don't have to necessarily wake up at 7. Maybe you can wake up at 12 and still do it. But yeah, whatever works for them. But do have like a base. Study, cooking, self-care. Categorize your day. Right. So a lot of people, a lot of students, I think do feel like you mentioned loneliness at some point of time, right? Because you're just... It's such a different setting, right? From being surrounded by so many people, suddenly like you're alone most of your time. So what kind of support system have you put here for yourself? So you said that you should be independent, but yes... You need, yeah. But you also need, I think people around you, right? You need. So who are these people, where are they and how have you gone about doing that? So basically, when I first came in, I wasn't in the right sort of company, I would say. I mean, I'm not talking about the people, the people. It's not about the people. It's sometimes the connection that you have with them. Yeah, first the connections and your interests. Yeah. It just doesn't go well. Right. So no hard feelings for anyone. I slowly disconnected myself. Then I got... Right now, I am more with people who come from my hometown. So I mean, somewhere around it, you connect. That's what I've been seeing here also. I'm from Mumbai, for example. If I connect with people from Mumbai, you have a lot of things in common. And that way, you connect on a deeper level. So initially, I was always with other people. So are they your roommates? Are they your patchmates? No, they're not my roommates. They're actually my patchmates. And some of them are my seniors as well. And I did meet quite a lot of people in the Indian Association. So you're also part of the Indian Association? Yeah, I'm also part of the Indian Association. So I mean, right now, I have like 3-4 people that I can count on. And the rest is all back in India. So even if it's a call away, I still take the time to call them and talk to them. Okay. Great. So talking about support system and roommates, right? One, I think the first step is getting the admit in reaching here. Yeah. The next step is finding accommodation. And most Indian students prefer to stay off campus, right? Yes, right. Because it just makes more sense. It's cheaper. Yeah. So now you have to find a house. You have to live with people, which I know can get dicey sometimes. And I think you also went through a lot of back and forth years. So any advice on this, how to do it right? So I mean, I keep telling this to everybody. You just need to learn the art of coexisting. And I've mentioned it on my channel a couple of times as well. Because you can't necessarily be friends with everybody who's in your life. But that doesn't mean you're going to be a hard person to live with. You will have differences. But how you deal with it is the whole, you know, that's what defines how your situation at home is going to be. So again, I've been on both sides. And I just learned, you know, the art of just coexisting with them. So now I could say I'm a good roommate or maybe, I mean, I'm a roommate. I don't give them any trouble from my end. You're a roommate who doesn't trouble at all. I don't trouble. And that's good. I hope so. Reach that. Yeah. I don't throw any tantrums at them. Neither do they. So we have this understanding and we've been very open about it. Like maybe we can't be friends and it's okay. As long as I'm not in your way or not in my way. You need to have a peaceful setting at home. Yeah. You just should feel comfortable living. Yeah. Just be comfortable. And you can't depend on your roommate. It's like regardless of who is with you or not, you need to be comfortable in your own space. So for me, it's like people who share a room again, like you have to be in very good terms with the person you're living with in that room. But since I got a private space, for me, it really doesn't matter. The only common space that I share is the bathroom and the kitchen. So whenever they're there, if they're there, I talk to them. So it's not like it's toxic or something in the house. It's just that it's a little mellow. It's neutral. It's totally not toxic. It's just that, yeah. So if you can't get along, it's okay. I mean, it's not a big deal. I mean, this is something which, so I was also stood in long, long back. And I too had a roommate. So I remember living two years with one person in like a room. And I think the mistake which I made back then was thinking that, okay, she's going to become my best friend. Best friend. You know, we're going to be like, we're going to explore this entire college life together. I had the same thing too. And that got real pretty quick because it's not necessary. You don't have. Yeah. I think that's the learning I had, accepting that, okay, she's going to be there. She's going to help me. You're going to help each other. And you like live peacefully. But that's it. It's not going to be like, oh, she's going to be my best friend. And in fact, I don't think I'm even touching her today. I mean, if you do become friends, great. Great, yeah. Don't expect. So Vanita, thank you so much. This is a very different video from what you normally see on my channel. But a little bit behind the scenes, you know, because we are usually encouraging you guys to come to US. But at the same time, we also want you to be aware of... The sector. At the part of the coin. Yes. And yeah, I mean, having gone through this journey sometime in my life as well, what I can tell you is do try to enjoy the little things every day. Like she, I think. The viewer. The viewers, whatever works for you. And yeah, do have a good time. Do check out her channel. There are more videos. Basically, I cover live here and mostly I don't just share things for the sake of it, but I share my experiences. I link it with my experiences so people have like, you know, a personal touch to what I'm saying. So yeah, that's what I do on my channel and Instagram. And if you want to ask her questions about Stevens, about just generally moving to US, do reach out. Don't be creepy. Be like, I know how it can get sometimes. Oh yeah. So yeah, I'm going to leave the link for her LinkedIn and Instagram. E-mails also. E-mail in the description box. So do check it out. This video is actually a two part video. This is part one and part two you can check out Anandita's channel. And I'll leave the link for that as well. So basically, we're going to cover about our general visa questions that you guys have asked so many times. So we're going to get a cheat to answer all of that. So yeah, I hope that might help you guys. All right. Thank you. Bye.