 Hello everyone. Welcome to another NARC Survivor Live video. In this one, I am going to be talking about something quite different to what I usually discuss because I haven't really discussed this topic before and definitely not in this much detail, but I'm looking forward to discussing this one of how the narcissist is in fact haunted by their actions and the effects and the consequences of them the things that they did to you are not only to you but to many other people before you because wherever they go they leave a path of destruction they do so many things to people and you may have heard about it, maybe something in their family or something to do with an ex everyone they get involved with they always cause trouble they're very oppositional, very disagreeable and they just don't mind the destruction they like to cause pain, they like to cause harm but these actions also catch up with them it haunts them all of the things they do to you the reason why they deny they project, they blame shift they gaslight they use the double standard, the double bind and then they devalue you they discard you, they ghost you they triangulate you with someone else they isolate you, they try to control you they start a smear campaign against you the reason why they do all of these things it's because their actions are haunting them it's catching up to them and this is why they can never be alone it's why they're always surrounded by other people they've always got to have new supply it's why they start a smear campaign and enforce their flying monkeys because they just can't even imagine the thought of being left alone to their devices they don't mind confrontation they don't mind arguments and fights it gives them an opportunity to blame you but one thing they can't stand is being alone left alone with their thoughts that is one thing that a narcissist hates because of course when that happens they're left to think about all of their faults and mistakes everything that yes they know they did wrong I know they may pretend they may act like they don't know what they did they may act like it was all you it was your fault they know they know exactly who they are they know exactly what they've done to you they know that they're wrong for blaming you for falsely accusing spreading rumours and gossip and a smear campaign against you of course they're not completely delusional they do know that it's wrong and all of their actions it catches up to them you become like this ghost that haunts them and the reason why is because they didn't take accountability when they had the chance they didn't respond to the best of their ability they didn't make the right decisions if they had done that and they had brought the situation to a close to a resolve then it wouldn't haunt them it wouldn't play on their mind they wouldn't be constantly running around trying to find new supply they wouldn't go all out and pull out all the stops to try to control you and to start a smear campaign against you they wouldn't do all of that but this is why they do it everything they do is a distraction from reality these are all coping and defence mechanisms it's escapism and they love the thrill that it gives them it releases a hit of dopamine in their brains every time that they distract themselves from how things actually are in that moment they might think that they are happy but all it is is they are just distracting themselves from what they already know they have done wrong and yet they go off they find new supply they flaunt it in your face but if you knew they actually feel a lot of regret they know that they had a choice and they made the wrong decision that is why they go out of their way to flaunt the new supply in front of you and it's why they are so envious and jealous of you they end up looking so bitter and resentful and they are trying to project their envy and jealousy onto you because they are not completely stupid they are not completely delusional yes they do know they know that they made a big mistake they know that they did you wrong and that is why no matter what they just can't be alone it's not like how it is for us I mean yes the target the victim they may experience pathological loneliness especially following the discard because you were attached to this person maybe trauma bonded as well so it hurts in the beginning you may miss them you may think that you loved them you may not like being alone and you may doubt yourself your abilities and qualities you may think that you were not good enough you could have been better for them but that's only because of how they treated you they manipulated and abused you they gaslit you they made you doubt yourself but for them while you were with them you were propping up the false reality you were distracting them from these feelings that they have about themselves as a result of their wrongdoing and that medicated them in the moment but whether you discard them or they discard you when they lose that supply they've got to run off and find someone else and usually they already have someone else lined up but sometimes that isn't enough if they've done a lot of things to you they need to have the smear campaign as well they need to have all of their flying monkeys and enablers around them because it is haunting them and you may have seen it when you were with them any time that you confronted them any time that you didn't want to take responsibility for what they had done you could see the anxiety and stress brewing inside of them and it was really taking them down they were so mad so bitter but they had to project it onto you they had to deflect it because they can't deal with the shame and we've all done things wrong in our lives I know I have I've made some mistakes but I'm learning from it and I'm trying to be better and of course when I look back at my life I do feel shame I do feel some regret but I'm able to let it go because in most situations I did my best I responded to the best of my ability but for narcissists for one thing they never respond to the best of their ability they always deflect it or blame someone else but not only that the shame that we feel or the guilt as a result of our actions our wrongdoing in the past it is a hundred times worse for narcissists this is why they can't be alone this is why they set up these situations in the way that they do it's why they often end up stalking and harassing you they try to control you long after the relationship is over they have all of their flying monkeys and enablers it's all just to distract them from focusing on themselves because that is the last thing that they want to do they've got to have a scapegoat someone who they can put all of this on because otherwise they would lose their minds they would go insane it would drive them crazy and they may even become suicidal which is why they are never alone like myself I've had times in my life where I was completely alone there was one time where I took a few years out from relationships and dating at that time I didn't really have any close friends as well and even now I haven't had any relationships or anything this year I don't have any close friendships as well and I enjoy my alone time as you probably noticed in my videos I love going out into nature I love being around animals I love being on my own with my own thoughts but just look at the narcissist look at their past look at their life when have they ever been alone can you remember a time can you remember a moment when they even spend a day in their entire life alone or were they always surrounded by family and friends enablers and flying monkeys coworkers so how do they even know who they are because developing ourselves our identity that comes from being alone it does not come from being around other people and yet they spend all of their time around you they were suffocating you and they had all of their enablers and flying monkeys they always had to have new supply and that is how you know it's haunting them everything they did to you everything they did to everyone before you they can't deal with the shame and the pain and if they ever were alone they would probably go insane it would destroy them you would see a completely different side of them but as for me and I'm sure for you as well once you've spent some time out of the relationship you enjoy your alone time you enjoy nothing more than being alone and in fact you may even hate it I don't want to say hate but you dislike it when other people are always there they're distracting you they won't leave you alone to your own thoughts and so you can process your emotions because that's the true victim the survivor of the abuse that's all we want to do a lot of us we don't even want to be around them anymore we could just take off and live in a shack in the forest somewhere for some of us even thought maybe the rest of our lives but Narcissus just take a look at them take a look at their lives have they ever even spent just one day alone in their entire life where they could then reflect think about what they've done even begin to process any traumas or emotions that is something a Narcissist is never going to do and that is how you know that yes it is haunting them because if it wasn't bothering them then why can't they be alone why are they on you why won't they leave you alone why do they always need to have new supply why do they deny projects, blame chef, gas light use the double standard the double bind why do they use all of these meditative tactics why do they triangulate you why do they try to make you envious and jealous why do they isolate you why do they try to control you why do they have so many enablers fly monkeys why do they start a spear campaign why do they do all of these things when you look at it the purpose is very clear it is all to distract themselves to distract their minds because they don't ever want to look at themselves to see themselves as they actually are they don't ever want to be left alone with their own devices which is why they always have to be in contact with you they're always observing you they're always stalking you they're always harassing you or they've always got someone else on your case and they're always surrounded by enablers and flying monkeys they're never alone which is how you know or you should know that yes their actions, their wrongdoing which they are fully aware of it is catching up to them it's haunting them they're trying to escape their karma they're trying to distract themselves they're trying to escape but this is why they're always miserable because their happiness comes from within sorry I felt a little bit sick there I don't know what that was I think I'm okay now they have to distract themselves they have to distract their minds but by doing that they never feel happy they're always miserable because their happiness our happiness is supposed to come from within yet they're trying to get it from devaluing you discarding you, ghosting you punishing you doing all of these things to you trying to make you feel bad guilty wrong isolating you, controlling you smear campaigns they're trying to find something in doing that they're trying to find some form of emotional regulation but by doing all of these things it prevents them from ever experiencing true love happiness and joy they will never experience that because they're always distracting themselves from it or at least the process which if they were to go along with it they would then hopefully finally be able to experience it but of course they do not want to go through that it's too painful for them to be alone but this is what we have to do once we have been involved with narcissists we must take some time to heal to process our emotions and that is when you will rediscover your authenticity you will rediscover who you are from being alone and maybe even isolating yourself because knowing in this world can tell you who you are the narcissist can't do it I can't do it only you can find yourself and you will find that in solitude that is when you will discover who you are as long as you're around other people and you're living in this matrix you're never going to know who you are and sometimes it takes people a lifetime until they actually know themselves so if you're still young I definitely recommend taking some time out away from other people go to a rural area somewhere far away take some time to yourself but be prepared for pain be prepared to resolve your traumas because a lot of emotions will come up I know exactly what it's like I've experienced it many times before that isolation can be very difficult but it is also what allows you to heal so that is what I advise for you if you do want to discover yourself your true self not who society or the narcissist told you you were and when you find that you will find your true purpose in life you will know why you're here you will know what you're here for and everything will begin to make sense to you if you're not constantly surrounded by distractions because you've got to think of it like this it's distracting you from focusing on yourself so if you're not focusing on yourself how can you respond to yourself how can you even know who you are which is the same with the narcissist I mean just look at what they're doing constantly surrounded by supplies, enablers and flying monkeys they're never alone a lot of them engage in addictions alcohol mind altering drugs some of them are constantly partying clubbing have a one night stands all of this is just escapism it's all just a distraction a distraction from what ourselves and I've said it before that the most important relationship we will ever have is the relationship we have with ourselves no relationship will ever be more important than that and yet this is why we can't have relationships with narcissists we can't have anything with them and the reason why is because they don't even have a relationship with themselves they are detached from themselves they don't even know who they are so how can they even know who you are when they first target you they project this idealised image of themselves onto you and then when they devalue you they project everything that they hate about themselves so that's all that there is they never really knew you they never even took the time to get to know you because all they're focused on is the illusion, the fantasy they're focused on distracting themselves from reality and they're so determined in pursuing this distraction from self that they turn their supplies into an extension of them and even the enablers and the flying monkeys we're all just distractions extensions we're just these objects that exist to serve them because they don't ever want to look at themselves and yet that is in fact the first thing a person should do we should always look at ourselves but of course yes in fact that is something a narcissist will pretty much never do I mean as I've said before there are small windows of self-reflection and the disillusionment when you cause a narcissistic injury in that moment it's like you kind of see it in their eyes their eyes light up they widen maybe they go black they're kind of like this stare where they're just in a state of shock because you've disillusioned them in that moment you have destroyed the false reality the illusion so then they abandon it they abandon the false character and then they're forced to reflect on their underdeveloped true self so that is when you may see it that they self-reflect for a moment there's a small window when they do it but it never lasts for long it could last for a couple of seconds and then they instantly deflect it onto you they blame you they devalue you now everything is wrong with you and it's all over so that's really the best you'll ever get from them that's really as real as it gets with a narcissist just those couple of seconds where it feels like you have something real where you see something vulnerable something that you can save you can help, you can fix something that you can do something with and then in an instant it goes away it's gone that's what we live for and as soon as they self-reflect we already know what's coming after the disillusionment, after the injury of course then we see the rage they lash out at us they make us feel bad they make us self-loat they make us feel like something is wrong with us and we need to be better and that's just as good as it gets but yes their actions they're wrong doing it does haunt them it may not seem like it at times they can seem so cold so distant so detached so delusional but it does haunt them and that is why they can never be alone it's why the last thing they want is to be left alone to their own devices it's why they're always on your case it's why they always have other supplies it's why they triangulate you they gas like you they try to make you envious and jealous it's why they isolate you they try to control you and it's why they start smear campaigns as well it's why they do all of these things because it is haunting them and like I said none of us are perfect we've all made faults and mistakes in our lives and we feel bad about it we self-loathe we process it we respond to the best of our ability we try to make things better but that guilt and that shame that you feel for the narcissist it is a hundred times worse it is unimaginable for a normal person and yet we wonder why they do all of these crazy things we wonder why they can never be alone we wonder why they go to desperate lengths such extreme measures we wonder why they do all of these crazy things we wonder why they won't leave us alone there's no cut off point for the abuse they continue to harass us they're always there it's all because their actions and wrongdoing are haunting them and the last thing they want to do is to be alone to feel the shame so let that sink in especially for those of you who think that this narcissist is such a solid person they're so cold-hearted and emotionally distant that is the illusion that is the façade and beneath all of that they are very broken people which is why the last thing they want is to be alone you think it's bad for you and of course it is it has been bad for you but to the point where you don't want to be around them you can't stand the abuse the lies, the deception you think that is bad but in fact it's a million times worse for them the last thing they want is to be alone by themselves you think you don't enjoy their company they don't enjoy it as well that's why they're always coming after you it's why they can't leave you alone and yet a lot of us we don't realize it we think this person is so full of themselves they love themselves when in actuality they can't stand themselves this is why they say misery loves company it's why they can never be alone they've always got to be around other people I've said it before they are addicted to people but again it's never to give anything to them as I'm sure a lot of you have learned by now all they do is take and they take to distract themselves from going within from thinking, from feeling they are completely detached and they are always going to be like that this is not something where you can just show them this video you can tell them about it you can reveal to them their problem that they can't be alone that's not going to solve anything you cannot pull them out of it they will not snap out of it if anything it might even make them even worse it might just drive them even deeper into the illusion and the coping mechanisms they're already down the rabbit hole and they can't get themselves out of it and there is really nothing you can tell them or bring to them they're just going to continue going deeper and deeper and deeper into the illusion driving themselves even more insane in the process because that's the only thing they can do it's either out or it's in and the last thing they want is to go out because by going out they have to deal with all of the pain and emotions all of the guilt and the shame so they're ready to dive in head first they want to see how far it goes because it's an escape from the shame but at the same time it's also an addiction it's something that they can't let go because they need it to survive emotionally but yes that's my message as I said it's not something I've really talked about before I don't think I have ever discussed how a narcissist's actions end up haunting them and how they have all of these ghosts from the past but looking at it we've got 178 live viewers so this is quite a popular topic it seems maybe something that I will discuss again but I hope you enjoyed my little deep dive into it I was just thinking about it for a moment before I recorded this and at first I was thinking do a narcissist feel haunted by the things that they do in the past and at first I had to think about it but then I made the connection of how they are shame based people and they do everything they can all of their actions are just a dodge reflecting on their shame so by making that connection I realized that yes of course they are constantly and persistently haunted by their actions and wrongdoings and of course as I've said before they know exactly what they're doing they understand the effects it has on you and they try to dodge the shame by engaging in all of these tactics these coping and defence mechanisms all of these things that they do all of these things that they do to you all of the lies, the revelation the triangulation all of these people these enablers and flying monkeys the entire thing it's all a charade it's all just one big show and their show they're not only the stars of it but they are also the audience and they act as the audience as well to distract themselves from themselves and that is all they're ever going to do they're going to continue doing that for the rest of their lives they are never going to let it go they will always be that way the majority of them will never develop any self-reflection only in that small window other than that they will never reflect they will never look within themselves they will manipulate you they will give you the illusion the false characters they will lie to you they will future fake they will come back with fake apologies false epiphanies telling you that they've changed but it's all a lie they can't change, they won't change they will always be the same and the longer they got around them the abuse will escalate the delusions the fantasies will get even worse as they dive deeper into the rabbit hole because as I said they can either go in or out and they are not going to go out going out of it means that they're going to be faced with their emotional pain their feelings of guilt and shame from their past wrongdoings so that is never going to happen they are never going to pull out of it they're only going to go even deeper and deeper so yes that's it, that's my message they are haunted by their actions their past wrongdoing that is the reason why they will continue to abuse and harass you it's the reason why they can't leave you alone and it's the reason why they can never be alone so that's it that's your answer and I hope it brings you comfort in knowing from my description that yes this happens to them and I do believe that it is their karma and the right thing for us to do is maybe just to leave them alone I mean it doesn't mean that they're ever really going to be alone narcissists are very charming and charismatic they always have their flying monkeys their enablers other supplies but it's just best for you to get away from it because otherwise it will consume you it will take over you and it will destroy you along with them so just stay out of the way don't get caught up in their disorder don't let it become a part of you where you're in denial you're becoming delusional don't let that happen to you but yes that is the message for today 175 live viewers if this was helpful for you please do give it a thumbs up down below it helps to support our community let me know your thoughts in the comments section I will be reading your comments in the morning it is night here now share and subscribe and if you'd like to book a one-on-coaching session with me you can book that on my website it's narksurvivor.co.uk and check out my instagram as well narksurvivor youtube and instagram I do have new pictures and videos on my travels which I upload every day on there so yes that's it that's the message I hope it was helpful and I will talk to you in another one very soon