 What was that? You got soap in your ear. No it's not. I stopped and made it. Welcome back to the Life Lessons in Film. Today on the program we'll be covering the peanut butter falcon. Five lessons in particular that we noticed and we'd like to talk about from the movie. Lesson number one. Don't let your weaknesses define you. Yeah. Do not let your weaknesses define you. This is leading any kind of stuff you struggle with, right? Don't use that as a crutch or an excuse to maybe not strive for something that you want in your life. For example, one of the weaknesses that you could think of is like, some of the things that you could interpret as a weakness are having a disability or being a minority. That's an example. Don't let these things define you and determine how you're existing in life. Yeah. Lesson number two. Family. Yeah. Everyone needs family. Everyone needs a family. Like it or not. And we'll talk. Yeah. And I mean obviously the movie reflects on types of family, right? So let's say your biological family is not the best. Can you still have a family? Yes. We flesh that out later. Stay tuned. Number three. Different backgrounds. Different backgrounds don't necessarily mean you won't be able to... Connect. Connect to get along. Yeah. Become friendlies. Yeah. Yeah. And then number four. Hard example. Yeah. That example. And then number four is sometimes people who come who are struggling cut each other down or hold each other back. Yeah. As well as try not to let... You try not to let your own weaknesses define you and to hold you back. Then you also have to try to avoid not having other people hold you back. Yeah. And then number five is as you're moving through life, remember to tap into your inner child. Yeah. Always. Always. This is how you will survive life. Yes. Tapping into your inner child. You must. You must. Becoming numb. Yeah. Everywhere. Yeah. Fingers in your brain everywhere. To avoid joint pain. Yes. Yes. And brain pain. Bang bang bang bang boom. Okay. We'll get better at just like... Yeah. We're doing... We're trying to structure it a bit more. It might not seem that way. Because I know that I feel like we've talked about this. You said that we have this tendency to be a bit rambly. Yeah. As we are right now. Yes. Being rambly. So let's just... One of our weaknesses, we're trying not to let it define us. Yeah. It's exactly. We're trying not to let us define. We're working. Yes. Through these weaknesses. Yes. Okay. So number one. Is don't let your weaknesses define you. Don't let your weaknesses define you. Okay. So if you're a bit rambly and a bit ranty. Work towards how can you structure things. Yeah. So that you're not all over the place. Yeah. As an example. In the case of peanut butter falcon. Yeah. We didn't even explain the movie. I thought you didn't want to do that. We yourself just... You don't want to do the brief silence. Well I didn't want to do the 20 second thing. Okay. Okay. Okay. I know. I know. Young 20 something odd, 22, 23 year old man with Down syndrome. Zach breaks out of he's in an old age home. It's not really a good fit. But I guess where he's in a small town in the States. They don't have the resources to properly house him and his parents abandoned him. So he's... The state put him there. The state put him there. And but he escaped because you know, he wants to live. He has that drive to actually, you know, live a life. And not be stuck. Surrounded with old people. Yeah. Well he knows he doesn't belong there. And then he comes across Tyler, who's down on his luck. Down on his luck dude. His brother passed away and he is now trying to make a living. Catching fish and shellfish, I believe. Lobsters and such. But there's a feud going on with him and some other fishermen. And so he's on the run. They meet up. They become friends. And it's about their adventure. And they're learning to become a family together. Along the way, Zack's caregiver is trying to track him down. Because of her boss telling her so. She finds them and then she gets forced because Zack checks her keys in the water. She has to carry on on their adventure with them. And it's the story of them three. Learning to enjoy life and become a family. Back to lesson number one, which was don't let your weaknesses define you. So it's not to say that having a disability is a weakness. Like the one that Zack has, he has Down syndrome. It's not to say that he has a weakness per se. But the way that the world is set up, right? You have a person. There is an archetype of the kind of person who is perfectly functional for the various systems in the world, right? And unfortunately, Zack isn't one of those people. Work, school, whatever you name it. It's just easier for certain people because everything is structured according to, let's say, their own culture or the more dominant culture. So in that way, it's easier for you to navigate life because you come from this culture that the world that you live in is based on, right? So what does that mean? That makes that then means according to the world, it means that you are weak. You are seen as, you know, the weak person who like no one is wants to be to work with you because you're going to pull them back, right? Things like that. And he's perceived to be a burden. Exactly. Yeah. And realistically, things will be harder for you if you are a Zack and if you are any other kind of, let's say, if you're any other minority, right? Like if you are not the person that the environment you're living in is structured around, your life is definitely like make no mistake. It's going to be harder. So that is your weakness. Yeah. But don't let that define you. Don't embrace it. Don't succumb to it, right? As much as, and it's not to say that it's not hard. It's definitely going to be hard. But it's also going to be harder to sit back and see other people existing through life, you know, coasting through life and enjoying the foods of life. Yeah. And you are not, you're not able to do that. It's not fun. No, it's hard either way. Yeah, it's hard either way. So yeah, can you maybe be so passionate about the thing you're striving for that encourages other people to, to want to see it happen for you or to see that they could also make their own ambitions happen too. Yeah. And I think the other part of not allowing your weaknesses to define you is that you, we live in a world where people are so incredibly accommodated, accommodating. We've touched on this before, you know, where, for example, minorities, because people are aware of the fact that minorities have certain challenges, then they're kind of walking on eggshells around them, right? So that's an example of where, you know, like you are, if you are succumbing to that kind of treatment, it can also often be inadvertently you allowing your weaknesses to define you. Because, for example, in the movie Zach is treated differently by the caregiver, right? And by Tyler, the guy, the guy that the runaway that they, that he befriends and, and Tyler treats Zach like a dude, you know, he's not concerned about him being disabled or having Down syndrome. And I think the thing with Zach as well with Tyler is that he obviously himself comes from a disadvantaged background. And so he's very well attuned to the fact that your weaknesses, you know, like you have, you have struggles and there's nothing you can do. Life is life. Life is happening. It's not going to slow down for you. So you have to push on. And so he treats Zach that way. He's not trying to coddle him or anything, but the caregiver who does come from a more privileged background does try to coddle him. And the caregiver when after Zach throws her keys in the ocean and out there, she's kind of forced to travel with them. He's like, well, honey, you're probably hungry right now. Maybe we should, your blood sugar is probably low. We should get you something to eat. I think I have some M&M. Do you want some M&M's? And then Tyler's like, don't do that. Don't do that. He's a man. He's not a baby. He's 22. Don't do that. And he's like, what do you mean? You know, you like to say that you respect Zach or that you treat him with respect, but the way that you... Your actions betray that. Yeah, your actions betray that. Another thing, too, when you carry too much weight with your individual hurdles that you were given to have to overcome is then people start to compare it to like, well, I had this hurdle to overcome. At the end of the day, we all have stuff we have to work on through life and help each other out as best you can. But, you know, it's tempting to use it as a crutch and then also to resent people that if you feel like you make an assumption, you say, well, they didn't have as big a hurdle. Then you start resenting people and then start justifying your lack of action to get over your hurdles because they're like, well, it seems like they didn't have a very big hurdle even though it might be a huge one. You don't know. Exactly. Instead of spending energy trying to figure out each other's sizes, hurdles, just work on your hurdle. Focus on your hurdle. Yeah, focus on your hurdle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because that's the other thing, right? Whenever you're... That's what hurtlers would say. Yeah. Is that what they're called? Yeah. Like, whenever you're focusing on your weaknesses, right? That's the thing. You don't take... You use it as an excuse. You don't want to take action, but then you allow yourself to, you know, not taking an excuse that you just kind of... You exempt yourself from the responsibilities of life, right? You say, well, I can't do that because of ABC. Okay, so... Lesson number two. Family. Family. We all need family. Yeah. At one point in the beginning of the film, as Zack makes his daring escape, the old man he's living with, his roommate, helps him escape. And they basically have this exchange where, you know, he's helping them out because he sees that Zack does not belong there and he needs to live his life and so he's willing to help them out. And they're pretty close because of that and they get to know each other. And he basically says, you know, like, well, friends are the family you choose. And so he's saying, you know, we're family in a sense. And then Zack says, you're invited. My birthday party. It's very sweet. Yeah, it's okay. And then he escapes. And that's one of the things of the movie is that, you know, the three of them, as they find each other, you know, Zack, Tyler, I forget her name. I forget her name. I forget her name. Wow. They... We'll put it up here. They become a family because they are all... And we were trying to find ways of kind of finding a family and why everyone needs a family. And we find it is that a family of any, you know, whatever it's made of, are group people. And it's people that give you support. People that also you can lean on so you can get reciprocal support. Yeah. Back and forth. Of course, I love. They truly see you. They listen to you. They want to see you thrive and grow and challenge you, you know. Yeah. Family should never be transactional whatsoever. Yeah. Family in theory is supposed to be the opposite of like a workplace. It's the opposite of a transactional relationship. It's one where everyone can be vulnerable, keep in touch with people in a way so that you understand and know the person as they go through life. So when the world is cold and hard and doesn't care about you, family, those are the people that still know you. They'll, you know, and they'll remember you and they'll care about you. Yeah. To really, truly care for someone, it can be one of the most rewarding thing, one of the most rewarding things in life. Number three, just because you came from different background from someone else doesn't mean that you're not able to form a connection with them. Yeah. It's interesting. We were talking earlier about how we used to think that in order to find friends that are perfect for us. We would probably enjoy the company of, you know, eclectic type of people who are not, you know, I don't know, bogged down by God mom. Yeah. By the machine. Yeah. By the machine. But now I'm realizing that, you know, that is the farthest thing from the reality. I used to look at people, for example, like who would work on Wall Street. But I've changed my ways, right? And I would think, I would never be friends with someone who works there. You know, like to work at that out of place like that, you'd have to have a certain kind of mindset. Track someone. Yeah. Like, I don't even know what kind of conversation we would have. But I now know that is not even, it does not work at all that way. In every community, in every workplace, I think you're going to have the same kind of mix of people. You're going to have the person that's just doing it for the paycheck. The person that believes in it and wants to change the world to do it by doing that work. And the other person that's the wise, sage league type. And the other that's just the out for themselves type screw everyone else, you know, whatever it takes. Yeah. But you're still in that one community. Yeah. It doesn't mean that you are actually, you could actually become friends or close or whatever. However, then you meet someone from like completely foreign place you've never even heard of. Whole other country. Whole other country. They came from a completely different background. But oh my God, this person, it's as though you're seeing yourself, you know. Yeah. And it's insanity because how on earth does that happen? Right. And then you have similar points of references. Like, and it's just insane because you live in another country, you came from a different family. Yeah. And yet we speak the same language. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's what I've learned. Yeah. And so just because, so in this movie. You can be friends with someone for decades and feel like you don't even know each other and you can meet someone yesterday. Yeah. And feel like you've known them your whole lives. Yeah. Yeah. And so the reason we talk about this as a lesson in the movie, Tyler and Eleanor, they end up getting together. You know, Eleanor comes from a very privileged background. And, and Tyler, absolutely the opposite. And they end up together. Lesson number four. Lesson number four is people that come. No. Yeah. People that. Struggling people often take it out on other struggling people. Yeah. And try to cut each other down. Yeah. And it could be for any way that you could be struggling, right? Poverty. Poverty. So financial, emotionally struggling people. Maybe you're not physically struggling. Part of the cool club. We had the cool club. People that struggle to be fit will also, you know, knock people down and make fun of other people that are struggling to get into better shape. Yeah. Or, or for whatever it is, looking good, whether it's with, I don't know, your, your get ups, you know, the clothes you wear, the makeup you use, that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Especially like whatever it is that you perceive as a weakness, because all of these things that we listed, they aren't necessarily weakness or a bad thing. We look at things differently, right? And obviously it's because of socialization. Yeah. Pressures, societal pressures, how we grew up. So some, for example, in some parts of the world, like for example, we talk about like, you know, people who are going to work out and stuff like in some parts of the world, being bigger in terms of your weight is more attractive than being skinnier, skinnier. But like in the West, being skinny is more, is idolized, right? So, so wherever you are, obviously like these things that are perceived to be a negative, they aren't, you know, yeah, like they are not hard, fast, negative things. There is no, they're not facts. However, so if people are living in a certain society or wherever they are, these things that they, that are part of them, if they are a weakness and they have other friends, for example, or they're in a community of people that are mutually struggling with this thing that is supposed to be, supposedly a weakness, when one of these people starts to work against it and is like, okay, I'm going to do something about it because I don't want to be seen as less than anymore. So I'm going to work really hard to make sure that I don't, you know, to fix this about myself, right? The other people that are in the same position as they are, they don't, a lot of the times they struggle. You know, there's envy, there's jealousy, they don't want that person to succeed, they want to cut them down and so they'll say things like, oh well, you know, you're never going to do that. Is this way too hard? Is this cost too much money? How are you going to work two jobs? You know, like whatever excuses. Yeah, someone wants to stop smoking, all their smoker friends. I mean, that's going to make them have to think about what they're doing. Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing, right? People, a lot of the times when they do cut you down, it's because it's just that thing that reminds them that it's not anything external to themselves that is forcing that this weakness that they, or the perceived weakness on themselves and they're forced to reconcile with the fact that they can actually do something about it if they wanted to. A lot of this is just a choice. Yeah, because like, again, you know, I reiterate that there is no, there's never, there's no truth to anything being a weakness, right? But if you truly feel that it is a weakness for you, like if you truly feel like I don't like this, I don't enjoy existing this way, then that's something that you have to change for yourself. Like if you don't like it, you have to do something about it, right? And so if someone else is trying to do something about it and you aren't, you, sometimes people who aren't doing the work, you know, instead of saying, okay, you know what? I want this, I want to do what this person is doing. Maybe I should talk to them and find out, you know what, what is it that you, where are you getting all the stamina? What is it that you did? Help me out, show me the way. Instead of that, a lot of the times people cut each other down, they try to pull the person down instead of just asking because I feel like if you do see some, if you are the kind of person who's trying to cut someone down, I think that the reality is you are envious of this thing that the person wants. You have to focus on the fact that except that, you know, I want it. So let me ask the person instead of pulling them back. I think people are also bombarded all the time with being reminded that they are less, I mean, a lot of times it's, it's, it's intentional, you know, to make money out of people you got to make them feel less then. You got to make them feel bad about themselves to sell them stuff. So if they're getting enough of that as it is, so they don't want to see it with the people they have time with, if that starts to happen there too, then there's no escape from feeling less than or bad about themselves. So, you know, it's understandable. It's a hard cycle, yeah. I think at the end of the day you have two choices. You either accept where you are, who you are, and you learn to love yourself as you are, but if you can't and you truly don't like yourself as you are, and you truly just cannot settle in your reality, what does that mean? It means you should be changing it, right? But the problem is the problem starts where you see other people doing it, and then you start to, you know, like you start to try to cut them down because maybe you know how hard it is to make the change, and you don't want to make the change, and so then you make excuses that, well, it's not my fault really. It's the world that makes, that made me this way. But if you see someone else who's in your exact same position doing it for themselves and pulling themselves out of it, themselves and not waiting on someone else to give them a bone, throw them a bone it reminds you that the fact that you are in the position that you're in is primarily because of you, because you don't want to do anything about it, and that's really hard to take account, you know, for your reality. Take accountability for yourself and to rise the occasion, it's not easy. That's really hard. And final lesson is live life Oh yes, yes, hold on to the childlike qualities that you had as a kid, your inner child the positive aspects of being a child, again holding on to the curiosity, the imagination optimism, optimism, being inspired by things, having hope having hope to be playful you know, to not take things so seriously to connect with other people you have to be open like a kid and playful to connect with other people it's important. The reason I really enjoyed that lesson from the movie is because children are very curious they haven't been tainted by the world so everything is new everything is exciting there's a lot of hope you don't expect that anybody is bad, you can't even tell you can't even tell that this person is bad, this person is good just from looking at them as a kid so you're just living through you're living life with just so much openness in your heart as a kid definitely do think that living as your inner child is really truly hard but at the end of the day I think your subconscious really needs it I think people never really reflect on the reality of they're subconscious and if you really imagine imagine watching yourself I don't know, I used to do this thing where I would kind of imagine I would I'm watching myself I'm sitting down right now and I would imagine myself standing up and looking at myself as I'm doing whatever it is that I was doing so try maybe that could be a practice as you're living your life watch yourself as you do these things to just kind of observe how you are going through your day to day and what are things that you don't like what things would you want to change who are the people that you enjoy if you were looking at your day to day but you didn't know yourself what are the things that you would judge about that about yourself they seem to be doing that a bit too long or not enough of that put yourself in there or things that make you uncomfortable or things that just make you tired I think sometimes people get so we get so used to doing certain things and we don't actually realize that man I don't like doing that you don't actually realize that you don't like doing it but then maybe afterwards you get super exhausted it's something that we used to talk about we realized how people always say introverts introverts they don't like talking to people and they're just quiet or whatever and I used to think that I was introvert and maybe I am I really honestly don't know but what I realized is that whenever I find someone who speaks my language who internalize things the way that I do that is surfing on your vibe that is surfing on my vibe I can talk all day you got something in your ear no stop it baby that would be the first start the first step in trying to live like your inner child kids are generally happy because they listen to themselves they listen to their intuition what their needs what they like doing what they don't that person is giving me a weird energy that person just seems really making me laugh kids who are like do you want to give her this do you want to say hello no I don't want to say hello to her and it's like the kid doesn't want to say hello that's not what they want to do we accept that with kids but with adults we forget that we should kind of see them as kids we should treat everyone like kids yes and also their boundaries right really and sometimes you get upset when people have boundaries but you don't do that with kids why because when the kid says no that's a boundary they're just more in tune with themselves exactly they're more in tune with themselves and they just don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation be more like a baby be more like a baby manianas are smart manianas are bambinos manianas tomorrow isn't it see manianas be more like bambino bambino that's five lessons we got from the peanut butter falcon let us know what you thought of those things that we took from the movie and if you've seen the movie too what stuff did you get from it what are the things you get from that because I'm in until next time bye