 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. I just arrived yesterday at my hotel here in Qzon City in the Philippines. My first time in the Philippines and I am enjoying it so far. It's very hot here compared to Japan of course. But yeah I got here quite late last night, picked up my car, checked into this hotel so it was a bit too late for me to do a live video but I'm going to make up for that in this one and we're going to be talking about how the narcissist is not happy without you because that is what it may look like. That is how they make it seem. They make it look like they have moved on with their new source and they're doing so much better without you. It's like overnight now they're suddenly happy. They're having a great time without you. But it's like how is that even possible? Because if you look back you will remember they weren't ever happy with you and not only were they not happy with you. Now listen to this very carefully because this is the key and it really reveals that they are not happy without you. The key point to this is that even though they were miserable while they were with you, the problem wasn't you because everything you did to try to make it right, to try to make things better in an effort to please them. Nothing you did was ever good enough. They never gave you props. They never give you credit for anything. They were too busy putting you down and never appreciated anything that you did and in a normal healthy relationship things should be appreciated no matter how small. We should be encouraged to do better things and to be there for the person that we are with. It was never like that with the narcissist though. All they ever encouraged was dysfunction and disconnection. And the reason for that is because they prefer unhealthy environments, dysfunctional dynamics. Yes, they thrive in dysfunction. And let me say what I mean when I say that. Their idea of happiness, fun, if we can even call it that, it's poking fun at someone else, whether it's you or another person, marking them, ridiculing them, publicly humiliating them, putting them down, having a laugh at their expense, making them feel stupid and intelligent, making them feel like something is wrong with them, making them chase and work hard for the validation that they're never going to give to them. Yes, narcissists thrive in that type of environment. They love it. And that's how you can be with them for months or even years. And you're just chasing after their approval and validation and they never give it to you. Nothing you do is ever good enough for them. Because that's exactly how they want it. That's how they like it. That's what helps to feed their narcissism. It boosts their ego and makes them feel good about themselves at your expense. So yeah, they thrive in that dysfunction, in that disconnection. And that is why whenever you try to hug them or kiss them, they always pulled away. They never wanted to be too intimately involved because they're seeking power and control rather than connection. But they know that's what you're looking for. Yes, they recognize that from how you would deal with them. And that's why when they discard you or you leave, then they target someone else that with a new source, then they want to make it look like everything you wanted. Now they can suddenly have that with someone else, which doesn't make any sense because if they can have it with someone else, they would have tried to have that with you. When you try to make that happen with them, they would have allowed it to happen instead of pushing you away. Just look at it like this. I mean, if two people want the same things in a relationship, I mean, just look back and remember what you wanted. What did you want in that relationship? You wanted love, connection, intimacy, a mutual understanding, business, cooperation. If you want that and they want it, how did things go down in the way that they did? That doesn't make any logical sense. If two people want the same things, if two people value and appreciate the same things in a relationship, it is going to happen. If two people desire love, intimacy and connection and they have the ability to be vulnerable and open up, it's going to take place. It's going to happen. There is no other way around it. So why did these things not happen with an arse assist? Of course, that's because that's not what they wanted. They did not want that with you. It doesn't matter what they said. It doesn't matter how they portray it with the new source. They make it look like they've moved on and they're so much happier without you. None of that matters because if they wanted that, if they value these things, they would have had it with you because you wanted it and you try to make that happen with them. So why didn't it happen if you both wanted it? Clearly they did not want it. And not only that, they can't have it. They're too egotistical and they value power and control. They're not concerned about love, intimacy or connection. They can't even experience that anyway. For them to experience love, intimacy or connection, they would need to have effective empathy, which is something that us empaths have. And how do we know that they do not have effective empathy? Look at it like this. Where are they now? If they had effective empathy, if they actually cared about you for real, if they had the ability to experience love, intimacy and a deep connection in the same way that you or I can. Where are they now? Why are they not with you? You're hurt, you're upset, you're heartbroken. Why are they not there right now to comfort you? And instead, you are watching one of my videos. This should help to alleviate the cognitive dissonance. It should help to remind you of the truth. They never cared about you. They never cared about anyone. They lack effective empathy. If they cared about you, they would be there now. You would not be hurt, upset, heartbroken. You would not be on your own. You would not be going through all of these things alone. They would be there for you. They would have given their best effort to be there for you, just as we do. Because I know when I care about someone, when I value someone, when I want to be involved with them. Because yeah, I have the ability to feel these things. I will make a great deal of effort to make it happen. But not so much where it's like, I've done this much. And they've done this much. Obviously, when it's that far apart in terms of how much we have invested in each other, at some point, you have to pull back because it needs to be somewhat balanced. There can't just be one person doing everything. But that's how it is when you are with them because you're the only one who cares in that relationship. All they care about is themselves. And what they're going to get from you, they do not care about you. You really think if they had the ability to care about anything other than themselves, you really think they would have left you in that condition. But you were hurt, devastated. You really think they would have allowed that to happen if they really cared about you. Of course not. Even for myself, I mean, I don't even know most of you personally. I've never even met most of you. And yet even I feel this urge, this empathic concern to get on here every day and give you this message. Because I know many of you out there, you are suffering. You're going through it after everything they did to you. Do you feel like you had something with them? You felt like you had something real? And then they just tossed you aside like you were nothing. So of course, I feel the need to be there for you. But they do not feel that. And it's because they're self absorbed. They lack empathy. And of course, if they didn't care for you, they went there for you, it's going to be the same thing with whoever else they're involved with. Because otherwise, they could have just been happy with you. And you've got to think why would they do these things to you to begin with? As I've said before, as we're then so without, you can only give someone what you've got. Whatever feeling you're experiencing. That's all you've got to share with another person. How we treat people is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. So how they treated you. It was based on how they felt about themselves. It really had very little to do with you. And it's the same thing when they act like they moved on and they're triangulating you with a new source, or they're flaunting their new source on social media. You really think a happy person is going to do that? Really think a happy person is going to want to flaunt this person in your face and try to make you feel bad about yourself? Of course not. That's what these people do. They use other people, relationships. They use these things as weapons. But if you're really enjoying yourself and having a good time, you're not going to be seeing things as something you can use as a weapon to hurt someone. You're just going to be too busy having a good time and you're not going to want anyone to be hurt or upset. These are all signs that should all reveal to you what the narcissist is going through. They are not happy without you. It's all a lie. They want you to think that they are because they want to hurt you. They want to punish you. And yeah, they could recognize that you can experience intimacy and a deep connection. And they were very jealous of that because they can't experience that depth of emotion and connection. It's not like that for them. And you made them feel like there's something wrong with them. And now it's like they've got to prove a point to you by going off with a new source and acting like whatever you thought they didn't have or couldn't give to you. Now, suddenly they've got that with someone else practically overnight. And it's like, how is that even possible? How can you just go from being this person and like magically overnight know you're someone else to someone else. Of course, it's an act. It's a facade. It takes time to develop these things. They played you for a fool in the beginning. And at the end, they're just playing you for a fool again. It's just more manipulation, another illusion. So don't worry, don't let it get to you. It is all fake. This is just what these people do. They can't find fulfillment in things directly. They have to get you to filter everything through them and then they can live vicariously through you by viewing your envy and jealousy of them. And then it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel like they have something. If they can trick you into thinking that you want it or that you're missing something, then yeah, they feel like they've got an advantage over you. They feel like this is what you want. So it must be valuable. You're giving your energy and power to it, which should just remind you how powerful your energy is if they needed that bad to validate their illusion. Because it isn't real. It's fake. It's not self validated. They can't generate any power or energy from within to sustain it. So that's all you need to know. Don't worry about it. We see them flaunting the new source. It looks like they're so much happier without you. They're not. They're really not. And I'm not just saying this to make you feel better. As you know, I don't like to sugarcoat things. I get here, I get on here and I speak the truth. I tell you exactly like it is, whether it makes you feel better or not. Sometimes we have to feel the pain and accept things that are true. In this case, it might not be so painful. I might be quite confident to know that it is fake. It's not real. They're not really happy if they were. They could have been happy with you. I mean, even if they couldn't and it really was you, that was a problem. They wouldn't have given up that easily. I mean, just look at how much effort you put into it. We give so much of ourselves. We try so hard until we've got nothing left. They never do that for us though. They never do that for us. So, they never really even try to make it work or to find happiness with us. That's how you know it isn't you. They thrive in dysfunction. All right, I hope this message is helpful to you. Those of you who are going through this right now, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but I hope this message comforts you. And if it does, you can show your support down below by giving it a thumbs up. Very important as it helps the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors who may need it as well. Let me know what you think of the comment section down below. Hit the subscribe button and click all notifications to be notified when I upload a video in the future. If you would like to book a one-man coaching session with me, go to my website. It is NARCSurvivor.co.uk. And also, follow me on Instagram. It's NARCSurvivor YouTube. Thank you all for joining me. And as always, I look forward to speaking with you in another live video very soon.