 Hello everyone, welcome to another NARC Survivor Live video. As you can see I'm just at this lake, this reservoir today. I've been here quite a few times already, but I've never actually done a video here. I don't think I managed to get signal here last time. But yeah, I've been here a few times, it's a good place. Very peaceful, not too many people around. So in this video we're going to be talking about how the narcissist ends up watching you. Because yes, that is what they end up doing a lot of times at the end. When they realize that they can no longer have control of you, they can no longer be a factor in your life. The only thing they can really do is watch and monitor you. Because by that point they already know you don't want them anywhere near you. You don't want them to be a part of your life. You've had enough of them, the toxicity, the dysfunction. You just don't want to be around it anymore. It doesn't vibe with you, it doesn't interest you. It's just not something that you want in your life. But as we know, narcissists, they don't really care about what you want. It's more about what they want and what they can get. And yeah, a lot of them they have this rapist mentality where they will force themselves into your life. They will stalk you on social media. They will put spyware on your phone or your laptop. They will put cameras in your home, in your car, listen to your microphones. They will do anything they can just to get a taste of you, just to experience you. Well, at the same time, they're still trying to devalue you and tear apart everything that you're doing. Because all of these things that they do, I mean, it should be pretty obvious. When someone is still watching you, even after you've made it clear that you want nothing to do with them, it's because they can't do with the fact that they can no longer control you. Like they can no longer be a part of your life. So, yeah, they're still just holding on to you. They're trying to keep you back. They're trying to still have an influence in your life. And they're even trying to discourage you from even thinking of moving on. That's what a lot of these tactics are designed to do. But not only that, they watch you because they already know the damage that they have done. They know that with the actions, they take leaves, damage, damage and effects, consequences. And they know that as they don't take responsibility for anything that they do, that you're going to be left to clean up their mess. And they watch you because they want to see you go in through it. They want to see how it is affecting you. If you're able to get back on your feet, they want to see where you are, what you're doing and who you're with. They want to know all of these things. And it may seem strange because while they were with you, it's like they couldn't even lift a finger to help or support you. To help you to be better and do better, even while they were constantly complaining about you. But then once you leave and you try to move on, it's like they suddenly develop these superhuman abilities where they're able to tap into whatever you're doing, whatever you're trying to accomplish, whatever you're going through. And while you were with them, it's like they didn't even care. You tried to talk to them, you tried to get them to understand certain things. They just didn't want to know. But as I said, a lot of them have this rapist mentality. And it's like when you're always on their case and you're trying to get them to do something or understand something that you're going through, they just don't want to know. It repels them away. But then when you're trying to get away from the dysfunction and just start a normal life, now suddenly they're drawn to you, they're attracted to you, like morphs to a flame. Now they can't get away from you, they have to be on you. 24 hours a day they're on your social media. They may be showing up at your home, your work. Now they're all over you like a rash. And of course the reason why is because now you don't want them, you're resisting them. And you're choosing to live a healthier life. So that is when they come back. Because and they're trying to discourage you from doing the right thing in life from choosing a healthier path because it's hurting them, it's triggering them, it's making them look bad. Remember these types of people have a huge fear of rejection and abandonment and also of being exposed for the type of people that they actually are. That's why they rely so heavily on the false image and the illusion and when you leave and you go on on your own you become a serious threat to the illusion. So now they're all over you like a rash and they may not ever actually come out and say it but in their mind it's like they see you moving on, you're shining, you're looking happy and healthy, you're glowing and in their minds they're thinking no, stop, stop doing this, you're hurting me, you're making me look bad, you're exposing me. You're exposing everything where I failed in my life. Yes it's crazy how that sounds, that's exactly how they're thinking and they're crazy woke minds. Because remember you're just this object, you're an extension of them and they have a black awake mentality so anything that you do it affects them often indirectly and unknowingly to you until you become aware of this. It's like you're, there's like an attachment between you and them and when you pull away they feel it and they're getting dragged along with you they're getting pulled away wherever you go not just wherever you go physically but also wherever you go in the mind it's tugging away at them they're getting pulled along, it's like there's this rope, this invisible rope that's attached to you and them and in a lot of ways yes they are trauma bonded to you as the victim, the target but they bring that on themselves, it's nothing really to do with you it's just that they're so insecure and they have such low self-esteem to see you moving on, to see you becoming better and greater it has a very powerful effect on them and as we know they are very impulsive, very reckless people they just can't control it as crazy as that sounds they literally can't even control their own brains, their own emotions to detach from you yes they have a very strong attachment to you and it just becomes even stronger as you try to move on but while you were with them it's like they could never fully attach to you they lacked empathy so they never really cared about understanding you or sharing your feelings or experience and that doesn't change when you move on they're still not really trying to understand you remember as I said it's like this attachment but it's not a complete attachment they're just attached to you and whatever you're doing whatever you're thinking or feeling and it really has nothing to do with you as a person remember they never even took the time to get to know you it's just how it pertains to them remember they're self-absorbed and they lack empathy they don't care about resolution all they care about is their own out of control thoughts and feelings and emotions that lead to very dysfunctional behaviors which they cannot control or at least they have very great difficulty in controlling that so everything they do yes it seems like they're watching you they're studying you they're monitoring you all of these things it's just how it pertains to them it actually has nothing to do with you as a person and it may seem like at times that this is not the truth because they're so deeply involved in your life stalking your social media your posts everything but pay close attention you will see that they are triggered by certain things certain pictures you upload certain statuses certain things you're doing in your life which may not have been that important to you at the time but then they bring it back up and it's so significant to them as you can see that they're triggered by it they're very insecure they're having these emotional reactions to it because that's what they're really concerned about that's what they're really what's really getting under their skin it actually has nothing to do with you as a person if you just think back they never really sat down with you and actually tried to have a conversation they never asked you any questions they never tried to get to know you because they honestly they just don't even care about you as a person you're not as significant as you might think it's an illusion of significance all they really care about is themselves remember they're self-absorbed and they lack empathy another shot of this view here from a different angle all these berries on here for the birds I was lucky I managed to get out here in time and it was still quite sunny so I'm very thankful for that but yes a lot of us we feel triggered ourselves we feel insecure at times when they project these things onto us and they make you believe as though it's something else it's very different to what you're thinking as though they're watching you they're monitoring you because you're in danger you're crazy, you're bad you're wrong, you're all of these things at least that's what they want you to believe that's their excuse that's what they use to justify it but in actuality yes you are a serious danger and a threat to their false character and the illusion that's what you're a danger and a threat to but they will never tell you that the problem is a lot of you towards the end of the relationship you began to question and confront them you had these arguments, these fights and you made it clear to them what you saw wrong with them and they didn't like that they didn't approve of that at all because they have to be seen as perfect they never even began to do the work themselves so it's all about just sweeping things under the rug hiding all of their skeletons in the closet and they don't want you to bring that back up and I'm sure you will know that already if you ever try to confront them you try to have a conversation with them about the things they've done they don't want to take any accountability they don't want to take any accountability at all and yet how can they avoid accountability for the latter and then with you, they're all over you trying to blame you for things which a lot of times you have even done how does that make any sense but of course this is what they will do it's all about just blaming you just making you feel bad and not because they actually see you and recognise you as a separate person with your own feelings and needs that's not the reason why at all it's because it's all about how you the mental image of you and their minds how it pertains to them how it makes them feel that is what matters to them it's not about you as a person at all although that is what they might like you to think because then that gives them power and control over you if they can make it as though there's something wrong with you you're bad, you're dangerous, you're wrong or you're missing something and they need to come around and help you then that gives them the power in the situation to control you so that's why they do that but it actually has nothing to do with you at all it is all about them but yes, this is what they will do they will watch you, they will monitor you because they know that they've hurt you they know that they devalued you they made you feel small and they left you in a position where a lot of times they want you to not be good for anyone else after they are gone but at the same time they do know your potential they've seen it in the past so they fear that you will get back up on your feet and you will move on find someone else and experience something that they can't you will finally experience happiness with someone else yes, of course they do greatly fear that that is not what they want to see at all and instead they just want you to stay down and just not move just not do anything just not get back up not move on with your life not find someone else not share your love happiness and joy they don't want you to do any of that because it just reveals to everyone that they were the problem and they don't want that at all they would rather just blame someone else even if it's not always you if they can just pass the blame to someone else so then they don't have to self-reflect after you they don't have to feel bad for their actions because that's all they really want to do is just come after you hunt you down while having some reason or excuse while not having to answer for their behaviors that's really what they want to do they're like children they're emotionally immature and they get off on other people's pain and finding their weaknesses exploiting them or even creating new weaknesses it's just things to try to get you to attach to them even if it is a negative attachment they will settle for that because it's not much fun for them when they're always watching you and they know that you're not even thinking about them then they feel stupid they see you moving on with your life and you're not even thinking about them that's why they set up the situation in a way where you're always worrying about something they've done or you're worrying about what they're going to do next because it keeps your mind on them and then it makes them feel relevant and significant it kind of justifies their reasoning for constantly being around you because if there's no reason for them to be around you then of course they're going to feel very stupid and they don't want to reflect on that so they have to make up these reasons these excuses for why they constantly having to be around you why they have to watch you and monitor you but don't fall for it, that's all it is just an excuse every abuser has an excuse and just because you've got an excuse that doesn't mean that it's right but narcissists, a lot of them are delusional and they will always come up with something to why they have to be on you but don't fall for it protect yourself set boundaries don't let them control you they want to control you because it regulates their emotions and keeping you off balance keeping you on edge that provides them with a source of security safety and stability which they can't generate from within if they could then maybe they would just forget about you they would leave you alone but of course as we know they're not going to do that because they can't regulate their own emotions they can't feel better about themselves from within so it's all about reaching outwards outside of themselves and trying to control their target as I said it's like this invisible rope attached to you and them and whatever they do to you it has an effect on them and how they feel about themselves so that's all that that is I'm just looking through the live chat here if you have any questions you can ask down below and I will read it out and give a detailed response John Tracy says drama and chaos is their happy hour yes that's so true I mean that's really what they live for that's just what they like to do because they were raised in dysfunctional environments and it became normal to them they never heal they never move past it so now it's all about as adults just being on the other end of it and being the ones who cause that chaos and drama to someone else so that they can feel better because they saw in their childhood their parents or caretakers would do that to them and they would feel better at the narcissist expense Amy E says if you tell a narc never to contact you again will they stay away due to narc injury sometimes they might it really depends what type of narcissist you're dealing with the ones who really have no empathy or conscience whatsoever if they see a need to still be involved with you they will and they will make up excuses in their mind of why they have to do it as though there's something wrong with you they have to control you or as though you're a threat to them but sometimes yes it will cause a narc injury and then they won't want to deal with you anymore but then their last word will probably be to tell you how something was wrong with you and they need to stay away from you so they'll switch it around because they don't want to be the ones who get rejected they want to be the ones who reject you Christian asks how can you make them feel regret you know I don't believe that narcissists will feel regret because it's all about this false character that they present so in their minds the false character is perfect they don't make mistakes so if anything went wrong it was you you were the problem and they just don't value people at all they see us as pawns as objects or extensions of them so they never feel regret really when they lose you they see it as though you made the mistake you pushed them away you did something to cause the breakup the arguments the fights but that doesn't mean that you don't recognize a good situation and sometimes they will be forced to kind of humble themselves a bit when they see that you're doing better without them and they think that they've still got a chance then they may still try to come back but they're never really going to regret because in their minds they're perfect they don't make mistakes so I try a lot of times when they do see you moving on and doing better it's all about coming back into your life to sabotage it because there has to be something wrong with you you must have made some mistake otherwise they've got to look themselves and feel that shame and regret which is something they're not going to do Rene says he told me I'm insane and he needs to leave me alone Amy E as well crazy after I told him never to contact me again yes that's typically what they will do when they know you have nothing to do with them then it's all just about calling you crazy calling you insane because it's either that or they have to accept that they've made mistakes and then they have to feel the regret and then that would mean they have to put in a lot of work to fix it which of course they're not going to do that they'll just devalue and discard you and then try to find someone else to replace you so yes that's typically what they will do but even then that doesn't mean that they're not still watching you a lot of these knocks they're very obsessive they can't let things go they hold grudges and it's all because they're very insecure and they have low self-esteem which is how you will notice that they are easily triggered and how they always try to trigger you because a person who doesn't feel triggered they're not going to be constantly going out of their way trying to trigger you if they feel secure within themselves then they'll want you to feel comfortable as well so yes that is a very important thing to remember they're always going to try and deflect it onto you but it's always them it's always the lack of discipline and control that they have over themselves so that's it for this topic and video it's starting to rain and I'm going to continue along my journey but I'd just like to thank you all for watching 82 live viewers please give this video a thumbs up down below if it was helpful and as always I will talk to you in another one very soon you all have a great day