 the narcissist already knows they are wrong, they already know that what they did to you was not right, they are fully aware that their behavior is wrong, so when you try to question or confront them you're really just wasting your time, you're trying to convince them that what they did was wrong you're trying to show them the error of their ways when they already know that what they did was wrong anyway, that is why they always deny it, will try to hide their behavior, that is why they use deflection, blame shifting or gaslighting, it's because they already know that they are wrong, they are shame based individuals doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame and they are also trying to dodge accountability for their actions because they don't want to deal with the consequences, they also want to continue engaging in this dysfunctional behavior, they want to continue doing things that are wrong and the best way for them to do this is to just deny that it even exists, if you are dealing with a narcissist that is more overt, they might admit what they are doing and they will even act as though it is okay for them to behave in that way, as though it is justified, sadly people will often side with overt narcissists even if they are doing harmful things to you, people will often enable their behavior to continue, overt narcissists have this belief that they should always get their own way and everything should be done in the way that they want and because they believe it so strongly, other people who may be unsure about themselves are likely to believe that the overt narcissist should always get their own way, the overt narcissist believes it so strongly that it makes other people believe it but whether you are dealing with an overt or a covert, they both know exactly what they are doing, they are fully aware that their behavior is not morally right or fair, they just don't want to dwell on those thoughts, they don't want to entertain those ideas because that would mean that they would have to stop engaging in those behaviors, it would mean that they would have to stop getting their own way and the only thing that a narcissist cares about is getting their own way, they are self-absorbed and lack empathy, all they care about is getting their needs met regardless of how it affects you, regardless of what you think or feel about the situation, confronting the narcissist is a waste of time because they already know what they are doing and they know that what they are doing is wrong, they just don't care, all they care about is themselves and this is clearly evident in their behavior, notice how they never ask for your thought or opinions before they engage in certain actual behaviors, they never require any input from you because they do not care what you think or how you feel about it, they don't care for her to upset you, sometimes this won't even cross their minds but if it does they will still believe that doing what they want to do is more important than however it might affect you, they never ask for your thoughts or opinions about anything because they just don't care, your feelings do not matter to the narcissist, all that matters is their own feelings, in their minds their feelings are more important, their feelings are facts and there is nothing that you can do to get them to see the light, in most cases they will deny their behavior but even if they admit it they will see it as though they were justified in what they did, they will see it as though it was something they had to do or you deserve the pain and distress that it caused to you, the narcissist already knows that they are wrong, they know that the way in which they have treated you is unacceptable, they know that they are not deserving of your kindness or respect but they live in this fantasy world where they think that if they just ignore it or see it differently maybe it will go away, if they deny it long enough maybe it will no longer be true, maybe then they can dodge the shame and move on as though they never did anything wrong but it's not that simple, you cannot escape the shame, accountability would allow them to learn and grow and become the best versions of themselves but these individuals choose to deny the truth will justify their actions and that is what causes the shame within them to grow because they know that what they are doing is wrong, the shame leads to depression, anxiety and paranoia which may then lead to addictions or other destructive coping strategies shame is the lowest emotional vibrational frequency and it makes them feel as though they're not even alive but instead of trying to change their ways they try to project their shame onto other people which only causes their shame to grow because by doing that all they're really doing is running from themselves, running from a part of who they really are but you cannot escape the shame, it leaves them unable to ever find any true happiness or fulfillment in their lives. Thank you for watching, I hope this video resonated with you, please like, comment, share and subscribe, click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos, if you would like to donate my paypal link is in the video description, coaches and choirs, you can email me at nagsfellowcoachin at gmail.com, thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon