 Now on this program we like to bring conversations that relate directly to your day-to-day lives and they go hand-in-hand with our current affairs and our current activities and one of the conversations that we have been really missing out on is sexual education. We want to understand how we can parent adolescents and talk to teenagers such that they can share with us and understand what goes on behind the scenes because most of us in our African settings we do not have these conversations. So this evening I want us to have this very open conversation and I want you to go on our social media platforms which is at Y254 before we start. We've made a post on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram that I'd like you to write a comment on, write any questions that you have on. We want you to understand do you think sexual education should be included in the curriculum? So go on our social media platforms and share some of your thoughts with us and meanwhile on in studio live is Catherine Carrera who is our teens and youth mentor. Thank you, Catherine. I'm glad to be back this evening. This is her second time here, and joining me is Juliet Guikonda who is a childhood psychologist And you're the manager of Karirah, Karai Children's Home. We're just talking about the mix up in the name. But you're the manager of Karai Children's Home and you're a child psychologist as well. Karibusana Juliet. Thank you so much for having me here. So as you said, my slogan is always we have because you have. So our teenagers will be speaking and saying we are here because you are there for us. And that's very lovely because I think it captures the whole essence of parenting. Because of the parents, then children exist. All of us here are a product of our parents. Yes. So I want us to really tackle how we can parent teenagers in a more efficient way, in a more effective way, especially as we consider the times and the different generations. We do not need to apply parenting skills that were relevant in the 80s in this day and time. It's not going to work. And we need to understand how we can evolve with the times. So once again, go on our social media platforms, which is at Y254. Write me a comment. If you have any question that you would like to ask in regards to this conversation, please do so on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. So I think to kickstart the conversation, I want us to really understand what child psychology is because you need to understand child psychology to understand how to parent teenagers and all these different age groups. So Juliet, could you give us a breakdown of what that implies? Thank you so much. So as we all understand about the analogy of a child as he's growing up and different stages that they are going down, it's Levov's allowed understanding their behavior, understanding how they're able to move from one stage to another, emotions also. Because as a human being, as adults, we have emotions. So the children also have emotions because they behave in different ways. They cope in different ways as even they're growing up. So it's something that's focusing about their mental growth. It's focusing about also the changes that are taking about in their bodies. And that's very important because I think to understand children, you have to understand their functioning from the mental, the emotional, and just not the physical because most of us tend to focus on the physical. As Africans, come on to talk on healthy. And we are providing aspirants. We are providing. I mean, actually, everything is OK. But there's so much more that goes into parenting than just feeding and clothing and educating your child. And I think that's the most part whereby in our current parenting being one, we are missing it. Exactly. Because. In this day to day. But I also, I'd say, given the African culture, it's something that's been lacking. The parents will rarely ask you, how are you? What's your take on this? They'll just tell you how you feel. They'll tell you to nafuri, pig a picture, to nenders to do a feast. So it's not to get it from Catherine. You're the teens and youth mentor. I want to understand what drew you to teens and the youth. What did you feel like you needed to add value in that field specifically? Thank you. When I saw the confusion with our teenagers and pre-teens, and I realized that in Kenya, we have a young girl nine years old that can give birth and has given birth, I got concerned. And then as you're saying, Africans, we don't talk about deep things. So as a servant of God, I felt I needed to come in. And it's important for us to know that tonight as we talk, our children have been home for quite a long time on this morning day. And Christmas is smelling. And I still have another almost 26 days before they go back to school. Parent, it is important for us to know that parenting teenagers can be very fanful. But it can be equally very frustrating, very scaring, but we have to sacrifice. It can also be very agonizing and also very amazing. So what we need to do with our children is have what I normally call a hot talk. Because this generation, they know. There's nothing they don't know. Even a little toddler will tell you a few things that you think they don't know they know. So every parent out there, and I'm a parent, by the way, I've worked the journey as being a teenager to my parents. And then I have grown up now, teenagers, adults, we are there. So I'm talking from experience and I work quite a lot with children. And I have realized that when you have an open talk with them, they contribute a lot. And I normally use a lot of acronyms when I'm talking about parenting into teenagers. Every parent should be a hot parent, where age tells us to be very honest, like now we sit here, we cannot want to downplay what happened on the 1st of December every year, where we have just commemorated HIV and AIDS. And we also know the number where Kenya starts. So every parent should be able to sit down their children and discuss that. And the only way you can be able to discuss that is asking rhetorical questions. By the way, do you know about HIV and AIDS? They may not answer, but you'll be able to probe into it. Then you be very open with your child. Be very open. When you hear us talk now, take notes. When you hear news from somewhere, take notes. What you hear, what you see, should be able to open a conversation with your children. We are on the word hot. Then T, we have to be very truthful. We have to tell them how HIV and AIDS comes. You know when I go for school closing day and grade two will come and start there and say, okay, I have to tell them it's not. Imagine there's no OKIME that comes with Mabawa and comes and then we have to tell them how it happens. And we are growing children at very challenging time when even they are challenging parenting where even we know that defilement is so much of the increase where our children are so confused, they think sex is a child play game. So we cannot parent the way we were parented but we cannot compromise on discipline and manners. Yes. I like that. We can't parent the way we were parented and you have to be very open. The way Catherine has said, we live in a day and time when technology is available. Information is readily available. The movies, the films, the games will openly talk about this matter. So if you as a parent decide not to talk about it, the kids will learn one or another outside that, yes. So I also wanted to understand because the way you said, there are differences in the parenting styles. The parents of these days may be more open to talk about some matters and the parents of maybe the 90s and 80s may be more closed off. Even with matters about mental health and growing development, sexual education in itself. I do not believe I had any conversation with my parents about it. I just had two phones one only, Mwangu and biology. But is there a value over talking about it even with our different generations? Because let's say you have been able to raise your children, now they're older and you have, they have children and the grandkids. Can you openly discuss it? Can we understand the difference in generations and the importance of sharing information throughout? Juliette, what would you say to that? Let me say very good question. It's a very thing supposed to be doing at the moment. As we talk, we have something we're calling online sex exploitation. Our perpetrators are moved away from the normal sex issues we are aware about. But right now the technology has come up with something else we call online sex exploitation. So regardless if we talk about it to them or not, they know. So the best thing is to create that communication and awareness to them as she's saying. I work with thin clothes and sometimes I remember like, Houston is just having a hope and forum we're talking about to prevent ourselves in this Christmas. And we're talking about tick keeping of sex and so many other things. And they're like, you're not aware teacher. Squeeze you're not family planning. Oh gosh. And you're able to name different types of family planning that they're using. Like, hi, I'm a parent. I'm a mother. I'm not even aware some exists. So the question is the knowledge issues, information they really have, but how far is far? So it is asked to create awareness. As the moment we are talking, they're able to know the same effects. Yes, they are using, some of them are using how parents, some of them have taken these teenagers to use the family planning. But some of them doesn't understand the consequences, the effects. So I was shocked to know that, okay, but now you can't condemn them because the only issue I'm having now with my parents or our parent is we will be quick to cut them, the act is already done, but we will be quick to rebuke. How do we correct them back? When we go to the journey, they are able to know, wow, I didn't see that. And because of these, I'm going to take this off. It's a conversation that we need to face it as the reality it is. Because that is the way you've said it's the reality of the stage. Sex information is everywhere on social media, in movies, in books, it's all over. And I wonder, you know it's easier for us to say right now because you have the information and the knowledge, it's easier for us to say we need to talk about it. But then when you go to a different parent who's more conservative, it's very hard to get them to talk about these things. So first they need to find the information, how will they even find the information? And for them to even accept that you need to talk to your children. So I wonder, Catherine, how do you address this matter? How do you tell the parents they really need to seek more information and talk to their children? Because I'm sure you've dealt with parents as you're mentoring their teenagers. How do you convince them to at least have those difficult conversations with the children? Thank you, blessing. We just use the current status quo. In Nairobi, Kenya, we know the youngest child to be defiled was only three days. So you start from the information that is in the open domain. Any parent who is shocked, how on earth can a man, the common word is rape, how on earth can a man defile a three day old? So from there now, I have asked a question, I have a path to get into. So I have to tell them that in these three days old, baby was not defiled in the marketplace or in the bush. That means it was in the house. So they have to know that if you have children and you have a boyfriend or live in a girlfriend, they are not a family friend to your children. So you have to take the interest to the parent side so they can see the need of it. The need of it is they have to protect the children. And they asked me, Catherine, then, how early should I talk about sex to my children? And I said, if a man can defile a three day old baby, this baby may not understand. But when we get to two years old, we hear those children sing happy birthday to me. So we need to be able to grow them knowing about the rapist. We might not be able to tell them what happens, but again, we have to tell them about private manenos. That is where now, as we are telling them, head, shoulder, we don't have to go to the knees. We have to talk here. We have to tell them nobody should touch, nobody should see, nobody should play with it, including your siblings. Because unfortunately, we know siblings are defiling each other in the comfort of their home. So we are saying, we are telling the parent on how they can be able to protect the children. Then we have to bring it how they can be able to prevent these children from damaging themselves. And you know, children naturally are, actually the word of God says that children naturally do serious things. So we have to tell them also not to be mischievous about their private part. We know children that have literally put in a bin in the nose, in the ear. And even we know, even down there, they throw things in. So we have to tell them that a no-go zone. It's only for going to the potty and nothing else and period. And then you have to say it quite often, again and again, because Google and everybody else is saying different things from the right truth. Then we have to be able to tell it so that we can prevent them from damaging themselves. That way we shall not regret when we repair. So now when you have empowered the parent to be able to see it is the interest of my children, the parent now will be able to come and speak. And when you're not able to speak, that's why we have mentors like me. And the word of God talks about sex, by the way. And I have it in the studio today. The word of God tells us about sex and sex is the creation of God. So that we can demystify. This thing that we imagine it's a taboo, we should not talk about it. And as you said, we are, she said very well, we are the teens are because we were, but now we know we are there because there was sex. So we have to tell them it's a creation of God. However, God tells us when, how, and who should do it so that we tell the teenagers, he and Yuma, no go zone. Remember we are parenting now where the Supreme Court has told us that LGBTQ can meet, can meet go. So we have to tell them what that means. Remember I said, ask rhetorical questions. Yes. So that you can also gauge the level of understanding and information that they're exposed to. Even not gauging, so that you can be able to start a conversation yourself. Because the children will never start. That's true. She has said that they're already taking contraceptives. And I remember talking in a church and I was talking to grade six, seven and eight. And they say they're already taking P2s. Then I had to question how do you get it? And they say they're sending them motor riders. That's true, because they'll use other alternatives. So you can add something to that. While you also tell us, perhaps a perspective, because you deal with teenagers in your children's home, how do you start the conversation? How do you bring it in to both the male and the female? Because I know it's different to approach for both of them. And in line with that, even with something about periods and the growing, because most of us, we had a conversation about periods and most of us did not have the information prior to it. We just learned from friends or the environment. But how do the parents, how should the parents start this conversation? Thank you. So I'll go back to one thing I want to end to say. Before you keep those questions, you have to create an environment. If you're a busy body mother, father, will you have time for your children? And that's the most missing part. And when you don't have time with our children, then the world have time with them. So you need to create an environment whereby they can feel free, that I can reach out to my mom or my sis or my aunt and they can discuss something. So our teenagers, one thing I've come to realize with them, if they feel a sense of belonging, it's easy for them to reason and it's easy for them to talk. But if they feel anytime they are popping a very silly question, you're blocking them, then they block out. So one of the key things as a parent is supposed to do before even introducing any talk, because as they are growing up, they need a sense of belonging. They need to be heard. They are anxious. So many things are happening in their life. They are being explained to so many other things. And so one of the key things that has enabled to help me win the teenager, because I work in a organization whereby I say most of them are like my parent. And some time we'll discuss something they'll tell me, my mother is a teacher. She'll tell me, I'm a ski, I'm a party. And I'm like, why did you do that? Because I'm a teacher, I don't have a chance to be young. You get it. But when this child, you calm down and analyze and just you listen to them and hear them out. They are able to have a healing in and you are able to dig in a conversation. And now the worst thing about our Poland is maybe I've come across it that why she's there to empower them more. You don't over question, you don't over command. Because also self-extreme, it's coming in. Yes. So you need to create an environment where but you're not too harsh and you're not so friendly as he's saying about morals and disdain. Because we are living in a zone where our teenagers are getting in their loom and they're closing themselves. Yes. And if you enter that room without knocking, what happens? They will get angry. It's a fiasco. Why are you invading my private room? Fiasco! Why are you getting in my room? I just happen to enter too. My three husband's cousin or niece or nephew are loom in my brother's house. And this boy is just in grade four and he just picked a ball. And I said, what are you doing in my loom? Just chilling. I'm asking you permission, a class for both. And that's a child. Yes. They feel, even they're just lit and unnoticed there. Before you enter my loom, please. Keep out. No. Notice me. So if the teenagers feel their privacy and everything is being evaded. Yes, you are the parent, you are the legal, it's your house because we have different types of parenting, the dictator. You see. But if you do that, you'll be pushing them away. You create a good environment. So sometimes there are issues that they're able to open to me because sometimes I sleep even in the dorms. We have a round talk with them. There are issues they open up to me that they're not open to their caregiver. And now we go to the meeting, how did they tell you that? It was so easy. Because when you tell them I'm your friend, I'm your sister, let's talk about this. And you realize they are really doing it. Because the only worst thing is happening is if you come in a condemnation-wise, okay, in a truck here. You know. Yes, they go back. And I think if we are being honest, that has been the reality for most children in the African setting. Because for most of my friends, I think as we were growing together, that's when we were learning about half of this information, including about menstruation and what I was taught by a girl who was older than me. And we had an experience of someone else who shares the same. She did not learn from the mother. I, too. Yes. I learned, I just learned from how they oppose working. Look at that. My first time I used what we call it, a tissue. Look at, because there was no information of this is a pad, this is how you're supposed to use it. And sometimes it's like, these conversations are uncomfortable almost to the older generation. Because at my age, I know that I cannot sit down and talk about sex with my mother. She's going to look at me and be like. Oh, no more. Me, me, me. Me, me. You know? So how do we break that barrier? Because even as we get older, because when you're parenting a teenager, that is a young adult. They're starting to understand the world. They're starting to form their own opinions and becoming who they are going to be as adults. How do we break those barriers? Even if it's uncomfortable to us. So that we make, because it's also uncomfortable to the teenagers. If you're the mother and you sit down and you start talking about sex and intimacy, you're like, what's going on? Can you lock my room and never come back in here? So how do we break the barrier between the parents and the children such that it's a comfortable environment? Let's say in cases where it's a single parent and you're parenting a son and you're a mother. How do you break those barriers to have these conversations in a way that they're receptive and they will open up to you? Especially without judgment. Because you imagine if you come and tell your mom, I kissed someone. I'm not going to let you come back in here. How do we do that, Catherine? The good thing is that barriers don't just happen. We encourage them to happen. So as a parent, what you need to do is be fair, friendly and firm. More so firm. We need a three. And I remember we were talking about our teenagers, but they did not wake up one day and become teenagers. So we have to make sure that we grow talking all through. I normally call it we grow harmonizing as we hammer all through. And the easiest way, for me, I have no problem about talking about sex. The easiest way as a parent for you to be able to talk to your children about sex is use the Bible. And if you are a Bible reader, because I don't know about the Quran, if you're a Bible reader, get the good news version. The good news version is very simple, clear to the fact. Proverbs that one, we know it as the proverb of the virtuous woman. But verse one and nine, hardly is read by anybody other than myself. Verse three will say, do not spend all your energy on sex. And I'll put it when we come to part two, I'll bring the Bible in. So if the child reads that, you might be a drink Bible study, and because you're now fair, firm and friendly, you tell them today you're the one who's going to read. Then you have to have read yesterday, mommy, so that now they know you're reading from their day, and they're reading from Proverbs that one, verse three. But now the problem is even, mom, you don't know that it is written in the Bible. And I want me to tell you that So now, when you have the neno, and they have read, and the child will read, don't say much that day. You have dropped something. Then from that, get another scripture that will talk about that. And for you to be able to now grow these teenagers, remember they're coming from somewhere, and we stayed from two years, they can sing happy birthday to me. So you have told them about my private manenos, nobody should see, nobody should touch. Let me tell you how I do it myself. I normally talk about all the body parts. So I will bring it better. Macho yangu, maskyo yangu, mapua yangu, ngdomo yangu, matiti yangu, and you hold there, you ask. I let roho yangu, kitovu, bere, nanyuma. All the way to Mapaja. And yesterday I did it in a children's home and they were like, ah! By the time I was finishing they loved it. So you have introduced them to their bodies and you're portraying it on yourself. You have come into their space. Do the games together. Remember we have said, be ready. And for that to happen and be said now, we have to be firm, fair, and ready you have to be fair. Don't give everything now. Okay? It's a journey. Parenting is a journey. Even now at my age, my parents, I love God they are still alive, they still look at me like the child. You know? So you have to apply something a normally called sixies. Number one, you have to connect. The reason they are telling Juliet is because she's connected. She has come into the dome. She has left there. They have seen how she's human not only a director. So you have to connect. Parents, we must make sure that we drop down from just being a parent. We have to come to their level. We have to, even when they bang the doors, you know the doors will be banged. They'll be slamming on you. Please, reparent yourself. Reparent. Reparent yourself. Take yourself that a teenager in form two is feeling very hot. A teenager in form two is feeling wow. So imagine yourself in form two. How you felt wow. Come into the space and address what you miss then from your mother. Because blessing, there's nothing as bad as an educated fool. I don't blame my mother for not having told me about sex because that is what she knew then. But now we know better. So after we have reparented ourselves, we connect. When we are connected, please parent communicate. Clearly. We have just done a commemoration for HIV and AIDS. Can I ask you a question? Did you ever discuss those news with your children? You don't know. And by the way, there's even a scripture that talks about almost close to HIV and AIDS. It says, and you shall lie on your death, groaning, your flesh and muscles being eaten away. And you shall say, why didn't I learn? Why wouldn't I listen to my teachers? Why wouldn't I let anybody correct me? Have you communicated? Remember, you're doing parenting. So we have connected. We communicate. Then we can correct. She has told us this a lot of information. And by the way, that a lot of information does not have who is dominant. And it's not even the truth. Nowadays, even when Google, they are about masturbation and it will tell them lies. So you have to be able to correct. And as you correct, please correct in love. You're not correcting to judge them. Remember, these are children. And the Word of God had said earlier, children naturally do serious things. So when they're doing, they're being said that is natural. So after you have now, you have corrected, then now you can make sure that they confine in you. Because that confining in us is what is going to help you understand what they're going through. However, because teenagers value their friends more than parents, what their age mates are saying is taken like final. You have to apply something. I normally say eyes that are hearing. You look at your child like that and you hear things. You have to have the eye of a hawk. You know the way the hawk will see from far. So you see and avoid judgment. And for you to have to do that, you have to be a talking parent. Even when the teenager does not talk, can you talk to them? Actually, if we took the word talk as a acronym, T will tell us, tell them. We need to tell them. A will say again. So we are on the word talk as a acronym. We'll tell them and we'll tell them again. I normally tell them, I normally tell them, nobody will ever die for not having sex. I even tell them sex is not a Christmas gift. It's a sin if you're not married. So we have, we have, we have, tell them again. Then we learn. We learn from them. We learn from them so that we can know how to penetrate them. Remember the rhetorical question. Remember the peer pressure. And nowadays, peer pressure is so high. When they have peer pressure, again it's being pure. When they have peer pressure, when you're telling each other my virginity, so we have to learn from them. Then we must be very keen as we parent teenagers. We have to be so keen. This is, this is a 24 hour job. Even when you're in the office, you must make sure that you're keen knowing where is my child. Who are the friends? What are they doing? What are they watching? Yes. Thank you so much. It went where you're gonna tell me hand on that. Yes. Because that's where I also am finding a very good gap. As you say, it's all about the friends and the peer pressure. But I always ask myself a question. When your child tells you that you're going to have a child, do you know what they do with the child? I feel like this is going to be, it's leading to the next conversation that we have the impact of the friends and the technology. So let's we read the comments really quickly and then we can dive into that. So this is from Facebook, I believe. We have Jabilaj, K-E says nope. You teach them, they do practicals during the holidays. Parents should be the one to educate their children or the religious leaders. Thank you for that. So the question was, do you think sex education should be included in the school curriculum? So Jabilaj says nope. Or Dennis Martin says, it should have been long time ago. It's very important. Thank you for that, Dennis. Kipkorir Evanson says no. Charles Kafu-Kafu says he's watching. Thank you so much for tuning in. We have Anita Yulewa-Diaspora watching from KCC. My name is Vasha Kambinare. Thank you for watching us this evening. Christopher Gesser says reproductive organs, question mark. And Alexandra Peter-Alexis says, yeah, it should be included. We have Sa Nivelek Wiganjo who says tuned in from Keo with my wife, Dr. Pesh Wiganjo. Yes, it should be included in order to overcome the notion that our children know nothing. We must speak the truth at all times. A week ago I was having a conversation with our church teens on the LGBTQ. Let me tell you Sheryl, our teens know so much. We need to engage them in every place to equip them adequately. My regards to Juliette and Catherine, we're enjoying the discussion. Thank you so much for that. I think that we can come back to this conversation because I really love what he has said and he's given us a clear example. Whether we teach them or not, the information is out there. And there was someone who talked about reproductive organs. You see, that is the conversation that's had. It's talked about adolescents, reproductive organs and that's it. But then there's more to this than just the organs themselves. You need to understand the act, how to prevent the diseases and everything that goes into it. Because whether we like it or not, children are curious there. And with friends and peer pressure, as early as when you finish class eight, people start asking you, do you have a boyfriend? Are you sexually active? You're still a virgin and people get into high school and they have all these notions of, I should be sexually active, I have to be kissing my boyfriend so that I tell people stories. And even the idea of having a boyfriend or having a romantic partner. In their letters. Yes, these are things that parents really avoid and society has really confined us private, but it happens to each and every one of us. And without the education, if it's not being taught at school, if the parents are not talking about it, the church is not addressing it, then who will address it? They will go to the internet, as you said, and the information is wrong because people who put it out there are humans like us who share their own opinions. So I want us to talk about the impact of technology. I'm looking at the time because I feel like time you're doing in a ender. But I want us to talk about the impact of technology and peer pressure especially. Because peer pressure, not just in the regards to sexual activity, but to image, self, self esteem, dressing and even ideologies like LGBTQ, some people can turn and say I'm lesbian because their friends are lesbian or it's the trending thing or it seems like it's the vibe right now. So Catherine, I'm very interested in that because I know with street children, there's a lot of influence. Like you don't have a wife, you're not active because I've dealt with some street kids and they have this notion that they're now adults and they're grown ups. So how do you address that? The impact of all these things in society today, how do you address it and teach them in a way that is healthy to remove those negative ideologies they may have? So most of the children that we find even in the street and the most of the children we find in the children norm, are children who are lacking a sense of belonging somewhere. So once it's happening in our family where of course the child is the receiving center, you understand, it's leaning now the child become the receiving center. And now when they go to norms that's found in the street, they will do what is found there. And the hardest thing is to tell them whatever you did was not the right thing. It was the right thing at the long time and how do we take yourself from that? Because they're always the undisturbed decision today. And some of them will tell them I need them to do this because I need them to fill Niko base. Kunaluz is the base. Like we say when you go to Kikuyu, you do like Kikuyu. And so most of them, it isn't because they really need them to do that, but it was an influence that came from the less of the friends that they are walking in. And some of them, when they come to understand later the notion and whatever the consequences of whatever happened, they become remorseful. But if you call them, they don't become remorseful. But if you work with them with clear communication and love as she's saying about it, they are able to build most when they're able to work. And sometimes it's not an easy thing as they say, it's always a process because some are addicted to different things, some even from the family setup. And I would say also as even Palant, we are supposed to set a clear example because the generation we have as you say, it's mankezi. Mankezu. Mankezu. So you tell me, I asked a certain child that was behaving very weird. And I asked them, why did you see this from my mom and dad? And what are you doing? One, two, three. And they always do it. And so I decided to practice what they do because I always hear mom say, do one, two, three. So if we are not a good example in the house, do you think they'll listen to you? How do you tell the Palant, if you don't want your children to shout to you, don't shout to them. Right? Yes. So you have to become a great example to them. For you when you're communicating clearly to them, they will be able to follow what you do. Because they've seen you doing this as well. They have seen you doing it. So when you talk as a living example and tell them, Hamia was married a virgin, I didn't die, they passed to the teenagers and here we are. And they're like, how did you copy that? You talk to them and say, oh, so it's doable. So if you do the actions become, they follow the actions more than the ones. And they are very keen because if you don't, you preach, why not you do what whatever the person says. Yes. You preach water and you drink wine, they will notice. They will notice. And that's one thing children are smart. Very. They will look at you and they will see what you're doing. And you may say one thing, but So obviously they'll see if it's good for you, why is it not good enough for me? Yes. And I think that goes in alignment with the conversation we had about two weeks ago. You have to show them the way Catherine, you've also said, read the Bible so that when you tell them, read the Bible, they have seen you doing it and they will reflect what you're doing. And the way you're saying, sometimes parents will dismiss some of the actions they do. You'll come home and drink in front of your children. And you don't understand that this is something they'll pick up on. So when they get to a certain age, they become curious and they say, Oh, see, Anakunya, Shidai ko api? There's a parent who took his child to a police station and says, becoming truanse, it's coming home late, you know, all kinds of things. And it was a very big case. And this, I'm talking about someone who is very prominent in this world. So the case earlier was like, and then I was given a chance to talk with a boy. And the boy asked me, My dad complained that I'm getting home late. Ask him, what's time does he get home? So I could come to go, like I'm just doing what you've shown me. My dad says that I took his liquor. And I feel like that's very important for parents and even older siblings to take note of. Because you ask me, You'll give me taste, yes. The first leak I took was from the house. That came with it. And I always tell me not to do this. It does it. So you have to be very good examples and you have to lead so that they will follow. Now just to get into contraceptives. I know most of us, the way you've said, children these days are more aware of contraceptives. Some of us back in the day or even before technology and information was out there, no one really knew much about contraceptives. Even condoms had to be advised over and over again. But now we live in a day and age where family planning can have so many methods. There are pills, there's IUDs, there's even injections that they do. So Catherine, can you tell us a bit about contraceptives? What age would you recommend someone to start? And perhaps you can give us the demonstration the way you brought. I'm wondering how do I bring the demonstrations here? Okay, so the director thing we can do it at the very end. Thank you. But I want us to discuss the impact of not using contraceptives. That is for diseases and pregnancy. All of that wrapped together and what contraceptives you'd recommend. And at what age should they even start using contraceptives? Let me pick it up from Arya what you had asked about technology. And we know now this is the peak of peer pressure being Christmas time. And I want to say that online friends should not be made offline. Most of us are on social media with our hard doors there. We have very many friends. But we know people that have gone out and met their online friends offline and they are in tears or even some are deceased now that were killed. Coming to talk about contraceptives we have to ask ourselves where are we now? Because when we sit at the place of God God created sex. And he told us when, who and how to do it. And I'm going to talk to the children and I tell you that our feelings are not a fact. And let me tell you that having a boyfriend is not a password to live your normal. Let me also talk to the boyfriend that is feeling so heated up. I tell you there's no time you're going to be so full of spams until you burst, you cannot burst. There's no spammatic bomb. What we abuse in life abuses us. That's true. And the word of God, actually I'm a born again Christian. The word of God says it's a time for everything. So as we talk about children having sex. And I said earlier we have a nine year old girl that has given birth in Kenya. We also want to know that our children have been injected against human papyromia virus. The HPV. We have to ask ourselves, where does that come from? The boys are the carriers for it. So if we give our children contraceptives, what are we doing? We are telling them go and have sex. Lead that scene is leading scene. So if we put them on that, we are telling them it's okay to go and abuse sex. And what we take casually makes us casualties. If we give our children contraceptives, let me tell you they'll never give birth. I'm not a medical doctor, but I know how contraceptives mess the bodies. And these are little things. The best thing to tell you is there's no safe sex for children. The best sex for children is no sex at all. We will not tell you to have sex. You cannot die, by the way. You will not die because of not having sex. You cannot even be admitted in hospital because of not having sex. But let me tell you, if you have sex, you can die. HIV and AIDS is on the increase. And they told us between the ages of 10 to 24, you saw that on the newspapers. And they said these are not people that were born with it. They have acquired. And unfortunately in Kenya today, we know some traditions that have funny myths. That if you have HIV and AIDS, and you go and have sex with a virgin, you are going to transfer more. So what I will tell you, the girls must pay money. Kijana, what I'll tell you, you're not the seed sower. You're carrying the seeds for us. Zip up, yeah, zip. You cannot die. And contraceptives' blessing is not a solution to immorality. What we need to tell our children is they tame themselves or they bear the blames. Parents, you predispose your children to contraceptives. You are predisposing them to cervical cancer. The earlier you start having sex, the chances are high for you getting very many sex partners because you're not married. You're only 13. And love for teenagers is nothing but misplaced blast. So what I'm telling you is, contraceptives are not for you. You are just a baby. The word of God in Ecria, this is chapter 3 verse 5, we the Bible now. I told you, come on, I know, I know. This is what he says, a time for everything. A time for kissing and a time for not kissing. A time for making love and a time for not making love. Let me tell you, please, do not allow a fool to kiss you. Or a kiss to fool you. Contraceptives, leave it for those that are married. Human brains do not mature until you're 24. And even when they have matured, you're not married. I have said what we abuse will abuse us. Please check yourself before you wreck yourself. I like that. That's very well said because so many people rush into it so that they can be able to have sex without truly understanding what sex is. Who this person you're engaging with sex is to begin with. And half the time it's because of peer pressure because I think the love, the way you said, love within teenagers, it's just your hormones. Yeah, it's a lot of lust and desire. And most of the time, let me be honest with you, most of the time people who rush into breaking the virginity or whatever regret the choices. Unless it's someone you truly care about and someone who cares about you, then you'll regret the choices. It's not really worth it. So I think to wrap up the conversation, I can ask you the question that we asked on our social media platforms. Do you think there's a value of including sex education within the school curriculum? Should it be taught aside from biology or CRE? Should there be a subject that deals with this, especially for the teenagers, perhaps in high school, or from as early as grade six or seven so that they can be made aware? What do you think of that, Juliette? For me, I say yes, it's supposed to be done because whatever we are preventing them to do, it's only being done. But how and how can we save the next generation? Because the question is, we can't do it or not have it done. What's next? What is that future of 2030? What is that future of another teenager that is coming up? And then I always say like, when I was growing up, most of the education we used to get about sex and menstruation period and everything, most of the knowledge I have in my peers have because we just undercatch up the other day who was through school. They used to have a pastoral problem whereby everywhere in this day, if you like it or not, these speakers, not the motivation speakers, the speakers who come to talk to us and that was around in class seven. And now that's the sense of supposed to be great and certain to be great into us. And the do's and don'ts. And I remember in high school, we another crab came up and an introduction was done whereby used to sign up and get a kind of saying, I'll stay pure, how chill, until I get my render. And for us, for us who were able to get to that club, Manzeh Kualaisi, it may be for young material, your new pussy, but we do want it. And like now, in my marriage time, I can say it was worthy waiting, as you say. There was no lash. And I remember as I left it up, I remember at time it became so harsh. My mom was a bit so harsh on me because the slogan was, Mambo ni mawili urlale ama usome. It is normal in the land of anything. And I remember in, I was in second year in university now. My friends used to laugh at me because my mom used to have these birds in earlier, I'll call it bird. We would go to church and when he closes his car, he give me the key. Meaning when the church is done, you don't have- You have the car keys. You have the car keys. You have to get the car before mommy. You have to open the car before mommy. So she'll find you there. Waiting. Don't go anywhere else. You can't, you have the car key. And then the next stage, you'll be at home. No going out. No nothing. And sometimes I used to feel she's so, you know, as a teenager. She's so unfair to me. And my friends used to be, oh, na fungi wakama kuku. You get it? Yeah, I am. But lying now, three hairs down the line. Mrs. Motuma, wherever you are, I look back and say, thank you. God bless you, mama. God bless you. You saved me. But there was something happen, as I say, our teenagers, I talk to you. There's three things you need to do. Kujijiwa, kujielewa, na kujitambua. See how understanding of who I am, what do I want to do? Do you understand, my friends? Am I supposed to dress as they dress? Or what am I supposed to do? And also, as I speak, I was speaking to Palant last week, and I was telling them, atareka mamsa zika mojijui, nojielewi, you can't guide. So you have to be aware of what type of children am I bringing up? What do they want? What morals am I setting up? Because they tell me, is mankesee, mankedu. Yes. And I think that you've given us a very important point, because self-awareness is very important. For both the parents and the children. Because the teenagers sometimes get swayed because of the lack of self-awareness. So you will follow. Yes, you'll follow what your friends are doing and what is trending on social media. So I want us to go and get some of the comments from our social media platforms, and then we can demonstrate the stages of features and pregnancy. So this is Romeo Mina, who says, this discussion should be lengthy. I think the other programs should become so, so let's accommodate this critical talk. Romeo, I really wish we could. It's not enough. Yeah, so we'll do a follow-up of this conversation because I believe there's so much more information we need to give. And Franklin Wood says, yes, yes, it should be included in the curriculum. Edwin Wanyama also agrees, as well as Faith Koech, they all say yes, it should be included in the curriculum. Thank you so much for the comments and for tuning in as well. So now I want us to see some of the stages of our features and the development of a child as we go through pregnancy, because this is important for teenagers to see and even young adults. Most people are not aware of the whole process of pregnancy. So you can tell us that. And then you can also share if you think, oh, what the value of sex education is, because I know you advocate for it completely, Catherine. I'll start from there. Sex education has to be included there and somebody said, just read us. So it has to come from the Christian or the Koran people. So that we can do it the normal way. Because if we have anybody coming to tell us, they are natural way. Remember somebody talked about the LGBTQ? So even as we talk about sex education, it has to be the God way. He tells us when, who and how. Anything else is perversion. If it's not between a male and a female, it is perversion. Now we say that we're not going to allow our children to have contraceptives. I said, how to kufa? By the way, sex is not kufa. It's not emergency. It's a cheat, until the right time. When you get married, imagine you can have it in the morning, tea break, before lunch. It's your choice. Good Lord, all sex, all through. And I think it can show us the exact, this is some of the impact. But for now, if you do sex, the next thing that will happen, if you miss STDs, you will get demons. Because the word of God says so. That is Revelation 18, 2, and 3. However, if we have a teenager that is pregnant, we are not here to condemn you. And if we have a teenager mother, my call is, we take them back to school. Even those are pregnant, they have to go back to school with their pregnancy. Because pregnancy is not the end of life. Pregnancy is the beginning of a new life. And I have my babies, whoa. This little thing is only 12 weeks in the womb. So girl, come on, repair now. And you know the boys, they don't conceive. And you have missed your periods and you're wishing. You have this. You have this. This is not a clot of blood. This a human being. All the external organs are there. Juliet, you can hold that baby. That is 12 weeks. Then from 12 weeks, we go to 16 weeks. The baby is growing. All the organs, again, they're just growing. And even at 16 weeks, they have a sleeping pattern. That is why I come home. And if this baby could speak, they would be saying mommy, mommy, mommy, consider my life. Mommy, you're not aborted. We are here to tell you if you make a baby, grow the baby. Please do not abort. Abortion in Kenya is a crime. Abortion is murder. Abortion is sin. Abortion will not return a girl into a girl. Abortion will make you a Kira mama. Now, we asked about contraceptives. These fetus is very educative. This is 22 weeks. If it's a girl, they have the ovaries with them. 22 weeks. At 22 weeks, yes. Let me ask. Yes, please. What does it mean? How many weeks? We calculate, divide by four. It's about maybe four, five months. Now, at 22 weeks, they have the ovaries with them. So if we give them contraceptives, when they are born or were at 13, and they came out with their ovaries, what are we doing? We are destroying them. They will never give birth. And they're still not born. And again, now, Can I hold the baby? You will hold the baby. Now, they are born with their organ, with their sex organ. Allow me to tell you that your sex organ gives you identity. We, the three of us, we are the she's because we have a she in between our legs. The gentleman in the house, they have a P. So you're not going to change. That will not change. So when they come and tell you that you are lesbian, no. That is, you have acquired. You have acquired a habit. And you need to drop it. It is ungodly. Actually, the Bible says, to kisho, abomination. This one, and actually, blessing hold this. That is 26 weeks in the uterus. Feel the weight of it. It's heavy. That tells us when we abort, we are killing a baby. The baby that blessing is holding. If it comes out, it will live. Oh. Yeah. It's going to be a premature birth. It's a premature birth. But again, now, if we have aborted, you know, there are many, many ways of abortion, unfortunately, where you can take the drugs or even they can put things in and kill your baby. One of today's nation, one of today's newspaper, had a story of a girl that aborted and they died. So abortion does not only kill this baby. Abortion will also kill you. And the psychologist here is telling us, emotionally, you have damaged yourself. Yeah. And the way you are bought, it's like you are a pudding. If you're put anything, because this is a baby that is connected somewhere. If you're put, you have a tear, you have a wear, you have bleeding. Please, if you make a baby, grow the baby. Parents, return your child back to school, the teenager mother, because any child that drops out of school blessing will grow poverty and crime. So for us to eradicate poverty and crime, let us educate the girls. That is why they're having casual sex for money because they do not get empowerment. The Bible says, perhaps for that teen, mu kamate sana erimu, mu shike, us muwachi endezake, maana ye ye new high wako. By the way, in Kenya today, I'm really sorry, but I have to cut you short because my programmer says wants to wrap up the show. But I love the information that you've given. You've given us so much information. This is a child. When you look at this, this is a child and you have to be aware. This is the impact of unprotected sex, aside from STIs and everything. So we have concluded this conversation by saying sexual education is very important within the family, churches and school. So I hope you've taken note of that and I hope you've gotten something from this conversation. That's it for today. My name is Sherri Lee Blessing and you have been watching The Power Talk Show.