 Good health to all from Rexall. It's the Phil Harris Alice Fay show presented by the makers of Rexall drug products and 10,000 independent Rexall family drugists. Good evening. This is your Rexall family drugist with a welcome from all 10,000 of us. The 10,000 independent drugists who have made the word Rexall part of our own store names. You can always tell us by the orange and blue Rexall sign on our windows, but our best identification is that we carry the 2000 or more drug products made with the Rexall drug company. Many of you have already learned for yourselves the exceptional quality of these famous products like Rexall aspirin, for example. Here is the aspirin that by laboratory test disintegrates faster than any other leading brand tested. Remember that please the next time you need aspirin. And remember also it's quality like that we family drugists are talking about when we tell you, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. And now your Rexall family drugist brings you the Phil Harris Alice Fay show, written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevrolet with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Robert North, Jeanine Rousse and Whitfield. Walter Sharpen is music, yours truly Bill Foreman and starring Alice Fay and Phil Harris. Mr. Scott of Rexall and his wife are going on a motor trip for a few days. However, they have a very valuable French poodle named Madame Bovary, whom they would like to leave in good hands while they're gone. As we look in we find Mr. Scott on the phone asking Phil if he'll take care of the dog while they're away. What's that Mr. Scott? Mr. Scott, we seem to have a bad connection. What did you say? I said I'm taking Mrs. Scott on a motor trip for a few days and I'd like to leave Madame Bovary with you while I'm gone. Madame Bovary? Gee, Mr. Scott, I'd like to help you out, but I'm a married man. Gee, where's Alice's little touchy about having other women around the house? Harris, Harris, Harris, Madame Bovary is a dog. Oh, well in that case leave her with Remly, he don't care what they look like. With me strength. Look, corn ball. Madame Bovary is a dog. You know, wow, wow. Oh, Scottie, you've been working too hard. Listen closely, I'll spell it for you. I want to leave a D-O. No, that'll get him more confused than that. I've got it. Mr. Harris, when your wife is mad at you, where does she put you? In a dog house. Cut it in half and you've got it. That's what I want to leave with you. A dog. Well, why didn't you say so instead of getting me involved in one of them double-in-tandem routine? No, no, nothing about what you're talking about. We'd be glad to take care of her. She's a nice dog, bring her over. Thanks, I'll be right over with her. Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr. Scott. Who called, Phil? Oh, it was Mr. Scott, honey. He's taking his wife on a motor trip and he wants to leave his dog with us. Oh, that'll be nice for the children having a dog around. Yeah, well, if that's Scott, he's coming over with that dog. I won't be able to finish painting this chair right now. Well, you better put the paint away now. I'll put the paint can away later. You know, Phil, we should have bought the girls a dog for Christmas. Frankie promised them one, but instead he gave them that horrible uncouth gift. Hold it, Mercedes. What's uncouth about a pool table? I want it in the house and I'm going to tell Frankie, so where is it? He's in the den with the kids. Said he was going to help them with their homework. Hey, Rebley, come in here a minute, will you? All right, Curly, I'll be right with you. Okay, Phyllis, it's your shot. Try the sixth ball in the side pocket and this time don't cheat. Keep one foot on the floor. Now remember, each owe me $3 so far. Well, that was before I was sure I could beat you. Okay, now stop stalling and chalk up. Oh, make the shot. Well, that's a cinch. Put a little English on the cue ball, kiss her off the seven, bank it off the corner cushion, you get it right in the side pocket. It's an impossible shot, she'll never make it. Well, I'll try. Here it goes. It's your turn to pay us. All right, here's 50 cents in plain money. I don't think so, Frankie. When we win, you pay us in plain money. But when you win, we have to pay you in real money. How come? Fortunes of war, my child. Now if you kids will excuse me, I'll go see what your daddy wants. Curly? Hey, do you want to see me, Curly? I want to see you, Frankie. It's about the pool table. Uh-uh-uh, hold it a minute. That must be Mr. and Mrs. Scott. What are the Scots coming here for? They're going away on a trip and they're stopping by for a minute. Excuse us, Frankie. Yeah. Harris, Mrs. Harris? Oh, hello, Mr. Scott. Come right on in. Where's Mrs. Scott? She's at home. I'm picking her up later. Well, here's Madam Bovary. Ah, hiya, Poochy. Oh, she's a cute little thing. Hey, Curly, does the old test tube leave yet? Oh, hi, Scotty. It's good to see you. See you too. You're looking fine, Mr. Scott. Oh, Mrs. Scott. You're a starving self. Nice to see you again. One more, nasty... Oh, no, no. Just a mistake, Mr. Scott. Frankie can't see too well. He's wearing his nearsighted head today. Look, Frankie, this is a dog. It isn't Mrs. Scott. Harris, I hardly think the identification is necessary. As for you, Remley, this is the beginning of a new year. So why don't you get it off to a good start by doing away with yourself? Now, Mrs. Harris, I have to be running along now. Oh, I'll see you to the door, Mr. Scott. All right, so long, Scotty. Come on, Frankie. Let's take this dog in short to the kids, huh? By the way, Mrs. Harris, I want to leave this dog whistle with you. Incidentally, don't think the whistle's broken when you blow it because you won't hear it, but the dog will. Oh, Mr. Scott, you've been standing too close to Frankie. I know I sound like him, but this is a supersonic whistle and it's too high-pitched for the human ear, but a dog can hear it plainly. Oh, by the way, Mrs. Harris, I won't be here for the program Sunday, but I'll try to listen in. I'd hate to miss your song. Oh, I'd hate to have you miss it too, and just to make sure you don't, I'll sing it now. Bye-bye, baby. Remember, you're my baby when they give you the eye and just to show that I care I will write and declare that I'm on the loose, but I'll stay on the square. As long as he sends the check every week, who cares? I'd better put this dog whistle in a safe place. I wonder if it really works. I gotta try it. The dog heard it, but I didn't. Mrs. Scott was right. It can't be heard by a human being. I'd better put it on the mantle so I'll know where it is. Well, it's a quarter to 12. I'd better prepare lunch. Hey, Alice, where are those instructions that Mr. Scott gave you? I think this dog... Alice! Ah, well, I'll find them myself. I think she put them up on the mantle. Hey, I never saw this whistle before. Must belong to the kids. I wonder what it sounds like. Must be broken. Maybe you have to blow it harder. Who's blowing that darn whistle in here? I'm blowing it, but... You heard it blow? That's the shrillest sound I ever heard in my life. Frankie, the whistle's broken. Look, I'll show you. My eardrums? I didn't hear nothing. Frankie... My ears ain't working. I must be losing my hearing. That's nothing serious. Some people are near-sighted. You just happen to be near-eared. This is no time for jokes. Bill, lunch is ready. I got awful news for you. From now on, when you whisper sweet nothings in my ear, that's what it's going to be. Nothing. Bill, what are you talking about? I'm losing my hearing, honey. I've been blowing this whistle and I don't hear a sound. Of course you don't. It's a supersonic whistle. It can't be heard by human beings. Only by dogs. Well, thank goodness I'm all right. I can hear it. And Remly said he heard... Remly. What are you staring at me for? Just because I heard the whistle doesn't mean that I... I... Surely if only dogs can hear it and I heard it, it must mean that I... Take it easy. Take down, Rex. Alice, I got something amazing to tell you. When I blew this dog whistle, Frankie heard it. Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Honey, don't you understand? What did you say about the whistle? I said a human being can't hear it. But Frankie heard it. So? This is awful. If I can hear like a dog, there must be something wrong with me. Maybe you're part Airdale. Don't be a funny man. Part Airdale. I'll have you know I'm just as human as anybody. I'll be right in. Take it easy, Remly. Take it easy. Just quiet down a minute. Now, take it easy. You're nervous. I'll soothe your nerves by singing something appropriate for a man in your condition. How about trees? Come to think of it, I got just a tune for you, Remly. Now, sit back on your haunches, cock your ears, and listen to your master's voice. I recommend to everyone of you who continue to do the things you do apply the fundamental and let the incidental go by. Stand on the basic firm philosophy do it naturally like it ought to be apply the fundamental and let the incidental go by. Old man trouble starts in hounding your doorstep and he's got his grip around you brother that's the time you'd better watch your step constantly until consequently I recommend you take this interview and apply to everything you do and you will find your knowledge is more than any college could do for you cause it's only elemental to apply the fundamental and let the incidental go by. I recommend to everyone of you who continue to do the things you do apply the fundamental and let the incidental go by. Stand on the basic firm philosophy do it naturally like it ought to be apply the fundamental and let the incidental go by. When old man trouble starts in hounding your doorstep and he's got his grip around you brother that's the time you'd better get more help Consequential I beg you take this little interview and apply to everything you do and you will find your knowledge is more than any college could do for you cause it's only elemental to apply the fundamental and let the incidental go by bye bye F-U-N-D I don't know how to spell it but let the incidental go by I stand too close to you when you sing Hey Curly do you think maybe there's something in my ear that's causing my strange affliction? Could be maybe you guys could be maybe you got a tick in there hey hold still Remly I'll look in your ear and see hold over here hmm it's got a dark in there will I light a match now let me see now hey don't hold a match so close to my ear will you hold still I want to study this Frankie I don't see nothing in your left ear Remly what do you see you can see the light shining through Julius you mean well kid Mr. Remly has a very strange affliction you see he hears like a dog what do you mean menagerie now you got that red paint all over the dog how am I going to explain this to Mr. Scott how his dog got red arm of an old man's knee he's covered with red paint what are we going to do if Scotty ever sees his dog like this I'm a cinch to lose my job now we got to get the paint off of her hair easy will you we'll get it off all we have to do is you go answer the phone I'll get the paint off of the dog where does Curly keep his electric razor stop shivering great kid not a hair on hey Remly I got news for you we're cooked that was Mr. Scott on the phone he had to post pony strip and he's coming over to get he's that plucked chicken I shaved all her hair off oh no a nude French poodle somehow she looks indecent throw a rug or a kimono or something over I think she looks very attractive only do you Rem ten ten if Scotty sees his dog like this he's going to raise the roof her fancy hair do is the most important part of a dog I know that and when Scotty gets here she'll have hair hand me that bottle of glue you mean you're going to paste the hair back on the dog oh Curly don't get hokey besides there's paint on the old hair I'm going to paste this on looks like poodle hair but it's much more luxurious yeah it is what is that Alice's Persian lamb muff I know what I'm doing every minute will you listen to me you can't do that it's too late it's already cut measured and ready to fit now hold the dog still while I paste it on you always get well that's all we got left to do now and I'll tell you something we got to hurry Frankie Mr. Scott will be here any minute now look do you remember how her fancy hair do looks stop worrying will you I'll put it on just the way it was you better well she's all pasted Curly how does she look I don't know Frankie didn't she have a tuft of hair on top of her head no was under her chin just the way I got it well maybe you're right but is it supposed to be shaped like a Van Dyke she looks like an ad for Bach Bear I think she looks swell notice how deftly I applied these clumps of fur here and there gives her a look of studied carelessness well maybe she looks alright wait a minute what's that limp strip of fur hanging down the back of her that's her new tail new tail what happened to her old one well while I was working on her she kept swishing it in my face so I glued it to her stomach Frankie this is a sad looking animal and I know that Scotty is going to be Mrs. Harris told me you had a beautiful dog in here and I what is that horrible monstrosity that horrible monstrosity is your beautiful dog what happened to her she used to have hair on top of her head all along the top of her shoulders now she has it hanging from her chin and under her stomach turn her upside down she'll be as good as new I should have known better than to leave her here with you two maniacs Daddy will pick you up I can't budge her Remly you put too much glue on her stomach and she's stuck to the floor pull a little harder Scotty poor dog but don't worry we'll get back at those two right now now wait a minute Scotty wait a minute take it easy don't sick that dog all night dog nothing I'm going to bite you myself I can explain I didn't meet you Daddy you coward we'll be back in just a moment but right now our Rexall family drugist has a customer what's the name of that Rexall antacid you sold me a little while back you must mean Bismarrex ma'am Bismarrex that's it I don't think I've ever found faster relief for acid indigestion that's because Bismarrex works like a team in a relay race like a relay race what on earth do you mean well the carefully balanced ingredients have the ability so that each one works in sequence like a four man relay race I get it one ingredient starts in where the other leaves off that's it the first man or ingredient promptly relieves the heartburn that comes from food fermentation in the stomach the next one races to neutralize hyper acidity the third one eases gastric distress and the finish man leaves a soothing protective covering for irritated stomach membranes no wonder Bismarrex gives such fast relief well ma'am that kind of quality applies to all of Rexall's 2,000 or more drug products and that's why 10,000 family druggist will tell you you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall good health to all from Rexall friends this is Phil Harris and right now I'm going to tell you about something that is very close to me somewhere as a youngster who needs a pal a boy who may be fatherless or just an unhappy unfortunate kid whatever the reason the big brothers of America are ready to help and you can help too if you're a big brother beginning next Sunday is National Big Brother Week give your own heart a warm feeling by joining up won't you write big brothers of America Philadelphia 3, Pennsylvania big brothers of America Philadelphia 3 Pennsylvania do that thank you good night everybody good night everybody this program was produced and directed by Paul Phillips included in today's cast were Gail Gordon and Stan Freeberg Frank Remley was played by Elliott Lewis and Julius was played by Walter Tetley dangerous coals often start with nothing more serious than a simple sore throat the prompt use of MI-31 Rexall's famous mouthwash and gargle relieves simple sore throat used full strength Rexall MI-31 kills contacted germs in a few seconds helps soothe and relieve the minor throat irritations and rawness that often precede or accompany an ordinary cold what's more Rexall MI-31 in the full pint bottle costs only 69 cents at any store with the orange and blue Rexall sign on the window when you ask for it remember you can depend on any drug product here's the name Rexall stay tuned for Sam Spade then two great stars on theater guild on NBC