 The Craft Foods Company presents The Great Gilder Sleeves. It's The Great Gilder Sleeves starring Harold Perry. Brought to you by The Craft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. What can I do for you this Friday afternoon? I don't know, PB. I'm willing to consider anything. That's a good thing. You just stopped in for a little conversation, did you? I suppose I did. Well, anything to describe your testimony. I see Truman has taken a firm stand on a pretty big question. Oh, what's that? Breakfast riding. He's against it. I don't think I feel like talking politics, PB. No, it's fairly warm for this time of year, don't you think so? I feel chilly. It gets chilly in the evening. Last night it was so hot I couldn't sleep. Well, last night was warm. I found that, PB, all you do is agree with me. Well, I wouldn't say that. Yes, you do. You've had the weather hot, cold, warm, and chilly in the last two minutes. Well, you asked for a good conversation. Then let's skip it. I'm sorry, PB. I don't mean to be disagreeable. It's just that I've had to make... That's the question. He's got my prescription. Oh, Strossmorton, I didn't recognize you from the bar. Yeah, it's me. How have you been? I've been just fine, thank you. Mr. D. D., you've got my prescription ready. All right, Mr. Granson. Here you are. That'll be $1.50 and five cents to the government. Here, PB, take it out of this. Oh, no, Strossmorton, I can't let you. Take it out of the five, P. No, please. I've got the exact amount right here. But, Leela, if I want to buy you a present... Thank you, Mr. Granson. We'll call again. Thank you, goodbye. Leela, wait a minute. Are you busy this evening? Well, I mean anything special. I thought maybe we could go out to dinner or something. I'm company for dinner, and I expect to be busy all evening. Oh. Well, how would it be if I dropped over for a while? After dinner, of course. Don't believe that would work out very well. But if you're just having company, what difference would one more make? Company, Strossmorton, please, a cry. Leela, can I take you home? PB, do me a favor, will you? Look out the window and tell me who she's with. Well, I don't like to spy on a customer. This is inspiring, PB. I'd look myself on it. I don't want her to see me. Hurry up. Well... Does he look like a newspaper man? How do you tell what he's had on him? See, he must have cracked a joke. She's nothing. Oh, that's him, all right. Oh, my. PB, what happened? I don't think I'm that heavy, Mr. Garrick, maybe. But he's on pretty easy times with her. See? Say no more, PB. I'm not usually noisy at meals, my boy. No, but you generally holler at me a few times about something. You never even noticed I had two helping devices. I noticed, but I let it go. I'll never make the mistake of thinking I don't notice. More coffee, I think? No, thank you, Margie. What's the matter? Don't you feel well? I feel all right. Excuse me, do you mind if I clear the table now over the coffee? I'd like to go downstairs for a little while, if it's all right. Go ahead, Bertie. Lee Roy will help you. Help Bertie get this stuff out of the kitchen, Lee Roy. Okay. Bertie's a good kid. Bertie's my pal. What's going on downtown, Bertie? A friend is saving me to advance at the station. Somebody new, Bertie? Oh, no, just one of my old reliable. Good ol' Bertie. Can't we, Bertie? I got a tray load. My goodness, Lee Roy, I'm guessing you're doing all my work. Don't think nothing of it, Bertie. Taking my lunchbox tomorrow. Lee Roy? We don't charge for papers. Who's charging? I do her a favor, but she doesn't me a favor. Gangway, coming through. Careful. You're watching, Bertie. You've got too much on that tray. Just put it down by the sink, Lee Roy. Okay. Oops. Well, only one. I'd better get out there and clean it up. Miss Muddy, could you do me a favor? Sure, honey. Oh, never mind. I can take care of it tomorrow. Oh, dear, what is it? A part of mixing bowls and this rest. And yes, then I've got to clean it up. I'll take it, Bertie. Where is it? There ain't no hurry, Miss Guilty. I don't think she needs it. Of course she does. At least she might. Don't worry about it. I'll take it over. I'll take it. And now, where is it, Bertie? What? I don't know. I don't think I'll miss that. No trouble, Bertie. No trouble at all. The shades are down. No reason for me to feel like a criminal. I'm here on a legitimate errand. Guess who? Rockmart. Yeah, that's right. Bertie asked me to return this mixing bowl she borrowed yesterday. Oh, well, you shouldn't have bothered, Red. No bothered. I had to do it. Well, I'll take it, and thank you. You better let me take it right out of the kitchen. Then you won't drop it. What? Pardon me? I'll just put it in. Oh, come for me. Still eating? We're having our coffee. Well, I can't stay, but I might just have one cup with you. Well, really? I don't believe I've met this gentleman, Leela. No, you haven't. Oh, well, uh... This is Mr. Gildersleeve, my next-door neighbor. This is Mark Wayne. Well, well, glad to meet you. How are you? I hope you don't mind my barging in like this. Leela and I run in and out of each other's houses at all hours. That's quite an exaggeration. Shall we go into the parlour? Coffee all gone? It's cold, I'm afraid. Well, in that case, after you, Mr. Wade. Come on, Mom. After you, Lila. What'd he call you, Leela? Mark calls me Lila. He says I lie like anything. That's pretty good. Can you make a joke out of my name, Mr. Wade? I didn't catch your name. Brock Morton P. Gildersleeve. Let's go into the parlour. Shall we sit down? I'm not sure. You want to sit on my lap, sugar, or would you rather sit on Mr. Gildersleeve? Mark, you're terrible. I'm going to sit right here, and you boys can sit together on the sofa. I'll stand up for a while, will you? Then I'll take the sofa. Have a stick of gum, Mr. Gildersleeve? I don't chew, thanks, especially when ladies are present. Maybe the lady will put you at your ease. Have a chore, Lila. Thank you. Don't you see how Mark has corrupted me, Brock Morton? Yes. I understand you're a newspaper man, Mr. Wade. That's right. Describe the newshound, the gentleman of the press. Rip out the front page. The lady shot her husband. Put it back. It's only a flesh wound. I did not say he was a scream, Brock Morton. Scream is right. Why don't you tell us some fascinating stories about your newspaper adventures, Mr. Wade? I'm saving all that stuff for my memoirs through darkest journalism with gum and camera. Oh, Mark, how awful. What'd he say? Oh, never mind. Well, I like babies who are going to have a little music. I don't know if this is just the time for. If you want a little music, I'd be glad to sing. Mark just likes me to play for. Well, play for me, Lyle. I'll give you a friend doesn't mind. Go ahead. Play our song, sugar. You want me to? Go ahead. Our songs. Just picture a penthouse way up in the sky. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. When we're all alone. When we're all alone. Pretty song, isn't it, the Gillisley? I've heard it sung better. Oh, yeah? When we're all alone. When we're all alone. But we're not alone, are we, Mr. Gillisley? Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight? For money, marbles, or chalk. I promise my mother I'd never fight for free. You step outside for a minute, you big smart aleck, and I'll... Stop, Marlton. Now you both stop this incident. I'm ashamed of both of you. Well, he started it. He insulted me. Apologize, both of you. Come on, Mark, I'm safe. Mr. Gillis-Leave, if I have unwittingly offended you, it was intentional, huh? So I'm Frog Marathon. It's your turn. I won't. Frog Marathon, you're a guest in my house under robber-unusual circumstances. Well, I'm sorry. That's better. Now, I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll play gin-lummies. It's lots of fun. Mark, will you help me get the card table? It's right here in the hall. I'll help you, Leela. I'm already on the job, pal. You're nuts. Wonder what they're doing now? Bye, George. I'll go and see. What? Oh, so it's that way, isn't it? Evidently, I'm not wanted around here. Well, I can take a hint. And when a homemaker feels she's in luck when she has some leftovers in the refrigerator. And it's double luck if you also have a package of craft-smooth-melting cheese food, Velvita. For then, with Velvita's rich cheese sauce, you can transform leftover vegetables, chicken, veal, seafood, or ham into another grand main dish. Now, here's how you make the cheese sauce with dependable Velvita. Simply melt the Velvita in the top of a double border. Then, stir in one-third cup of milk. If you wish, season that smooth golden sauce with cayenne or Worcestershire. Pour it on the hot leftovers and listen to the compliments. Listen with special pleasure because you know that nutritious Velvita is giving the family fine protean, milk minerals, food energy, vitamin A, and riboflavin. At the food store, keep your eye open for genuine Velvita. The cheese food you can depend on to melt smooth and delicious flavor and important food values. I'm doing over there now. Holding hands with that guy, probably. I'm found that I can't just sit here. If anybody wants me, I'll be at the Jolly Boy. Poor gilder sleeve. Poor unhappy gilder sleeve. Outwitted and outclassed, burned by the one he loves. He can only imagine what goes on next door. But you and I, through the magic of radio, we can eavesdrop a little. And to tell the truth, gilder sleeve is not far gone. Pardon me, madam. Is this seat taken? Oh, don't stop. Just move over a little. I don't believe we've been introduced. Oh, I'm the guy you're in love with, remember? Or do you? One meets a man. Mark, you don't really believe the things you say. All those cynical remarks. That's not the rare you. We all wear a mask. Oh, but... But underneath there's something fun. I can tell it just is plain. All the worlds of stage and all the men and women merely players that Shakespeare. Here I go getting literary again. Play, Leela. Music be the food of love. Play on. By the way, I remember to tell you, I adore you. Tell me again. Someday I'll write a novel. You will be in it. Will I? I'll sell it to the movies for a million dollars. Oh, you will. I know you will. I have great faith in you, all right, ma. You must have faith in it, too. And with a million dollars, let me say, do you like hot dogs? I love them. I'll buy a million dollars worth of hot dogs. Really? I would just like to say this, gentlemen, if a member can't come down here and spend an evening at this club without having remarks made about him. Oh, now, commissioner, don't be a sore head. Lord intended no harm, guilty, and no disrespect to either you or Leela. Just a little joke? Yeah, just wasn't it, Troy? Just a little joke. Sure it was. Maddox, can't you take a little joke? Floyd made a remark. Remark my eye. I'll leave it a PB here if it was a remark. Well, now, I... I don't say it was the funniest joke in the world. I'd say it was a joke. Floyd made a remark about a fellow member. And unless he apologizes... Don't you think you're being just a little touchy? I do not. Well, if you don't think so. Either Floyd apologizes or I go home. Apologize for why I ain't done nothing. What does a guy have to do to crack jokes around here? Get a license? Well, now, Floyd, why... Why don't you just apologize and put an end to all this? Come on, be a good fellow. Why don't he be a good fellow? I take it you refuse to apologize. That I do. I don't think that attitude is going to be helpful. Well, who's trying to be helpful? Stop shoving me, babe. I'm not shoving you, Floyd. I'm just trying to reason with you. Anyone else going home? Judge? Well, it is getting a little late. I think I'll be running along, too, boys. Good night, TV. Good night, Floyd. Good night, John. Good night. Good night, TV. Good night, Mr. Gilbert, Dave. Hope you will feel better. Come along, then, judge. Good night, sore head. You know, Gilbert, I think you went a little far there. I don't care to discuss. No, you did. Can I drive you home? No, thanks, judge. I think I'll walk. You will do me good. Well, you're the doctor. Good night, then. Good night. It doesn't matter with me, anyway. Getting into fights with everybody. My friends, even. Who do you think you're fooling? You know what's the matter with you? I didn't do Marrier when you cooked. Always putting things off. You never can make up your mind. Now, this young fella comes in and cuts you out. Well, what if he is a little younger? What does he got that I haven't got? What have I got that he hasn't got? What have I got that he hasn't got? What have I got that he hasn't got? What have I got that he hasn't got? What have I got that he hasn't got? What have I got that he hasn't got? Well, I know one thing he hasn't got. Money. Yes, why, George, I can offer him more than he can. Newspaper man. Probably makes about $30 a week. Come on, Andy, up, son. No, bud, George, I'm not licked yet. He obviously doesn't give up on a fight. I may stall around, but once my mind is made up, boy, I should have done this years ago. Titian. You're the sunset on the Grand Canal and families. You're just saying that tonight. You're the laughter of little children, rolling their hooves wide below. You're the sound of French taxicabs honking their horns in Paris. Hello, Bessie? This is Mr. Gillisley, Bessie. I, uh, excuse me. Leeroy, go away. Bessie, I may be a little late to the office. If a package arrives to me, and the jewelers put it in the safe, never mind, just put it in the safe. Let me see. The ring, the license, ticket. Better call about the ticket. Leeroy, confounded, I told you to go away. Go where? Where does it go? Go to school, go anywhere, but don't hang around here. I don't see you making Marge go away. Margery? You here? I'm not listening. Nuts. A man has no more privacy in this house. Yes, Bertie, what is it? Dr. Needham phoned a little while ago. Oh, yes. Dr. Needham. Did he, um, say anything, Bertie? He said he found he was going to have to be out this morning on church business, but he did try to come over and talk to him this afternoon. Thank you very much. Well, what are you all standing around staring at me for? Come here, my boy. You too, my dear. Sit down, boy. Don't go, Bertie. This concerns you too. Yes, sir. Margery? Leeroy? I wouldn't be surprised if your old uncle had some news for you. Yes, sir? I may have some news. But don't be surprised if you hear some news. Well, aren't you going to say anything? What kind of news, Uncle Moore? Ah, that's a secret. Oh, brother, here we go again. Like somehow. Well, I'm getting kind of tired of that piece. You know any others? Tired? Well, not tired exactly, but I might hear something else. Ma, what is it? Tell me. Ah, I don't know if this is the time, but, well, you're a swell girl, Leland. I wish you every happiness. What? Well, I'm no good, Leland. I'm no good for you. Ma, you must have said that. Well, it's true. You shouldn't have anything to do with me. I'm just a newspaper man, and you know newspaper men. Here today and gone tomorrow. But that's what I love about it. No, no, no. What you ought to do is settle down and marry some nice guy. Somebody dependable. Well, uh, next door, maybe. What if he is a little fat? Ma, there's something you're not telling me. What is it? I've got a job in Newark. In Newark? On the ledger. Well... Well, you know what we said, Leland. No strings, no obligations. Free as the birds both of us. You remember that? I certainly never thought you meant it. Now, don't you worry. You'll get married one of these days. You'll get married. When I do it, we'll be to a gentleman. Oh, that's the trouble with women. Always recrimination. Always a lot of fuss. Why can't we just be charming about this? No goodbyes and no regrets. That's the way. Now, I'll tell you what you do. You sit down at the piano there and play that piece you play in. I'll just tiptoe out and close the door. So as not to spoil the memory. What do you say? I don't care whether you tiptoe or not. Just be sure you close the door. I'll be sitting right there. I'll walk in there and I'll put it to her straight. I'll say to her, Leland, I'm going to ask you to give me just five minutes of your time. I've got something I want to ask you. Will you marry me? Not next month or next week, but right now. I've got the ring, I've got the license, and I've got Dr. Neaton where I can lay my hands on him. That's my proposition. Take it or leave it. If that smart alec says anything, I'll tell him to shut up. I will, too. It's him or me. Jackmall! Leland, you've been asked to give me just five minutes of your time. There's something I want to ask you. Well, of course, but come in, won't you? Thanks. Are you looking for something? Where's, uh, what's his name? Mr. Wayne, I haven't the faintest idea. Oh, well, as I say, Leland, you've been asked to give me just five minutes of your time. I... are you expecting? I shall be very much surprised if I ever see him again after the way I've packed him all. You, uh, told him to go away? Oh, he wasn't using enough for a few days, but no one could stand him from all the night. He had none of y'all's good qualities. That's right. I'm running on, and you stand, and I... sit down, won't you? Make yourself comfortable. Don't care if I do. Run and get me an ashtray. That's a good girl. There. Now a mask. Got one. Oh, let me light it for you. I love lighting your cigar. Hmm. Mind if I put my feet up on this stool? Oh, no, no, dude. Here, let me move it for you. That's just a neat little point my grandmother beat him crochet. Now, what is it you wanted to ask me, Godmother? Oh, yes. Leela? Yes. How would you like to go to the movies? Oh, just as soon as I finish this cigar. I'll run up and get my things en masse, so I won't have to keep you waiting. Must I wear my pretty new spring hat? Absolutely. I would like to look... That's the stuff. Well, no use rushing into anything. Europe and Asia are going hungry and facing actual starvation. Therefore, it's up to us, the best fed nation in the world, to tighten our belts. We can share a meal and save a life. And here's how. Buy only as much bread and other wheat products as you really need. Use rice, fats, and oils sparingly. Don't waste any food. Turn in your used fats and oils at the food store promptly. Plant a garden and raise as much of your family's food as you can. You are saving food for those who desperately need it when you buy less, especially when you use up those leftovers. Listen, don't eat so much. We could all cut down a little. I know I could. They're children abroad who could be kept alive just by the food we throw out. Let's think of that when we sit down to do that. The Great Guilt of Slave is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meeker. This is John Lange speaking for the Kraft Foods Company inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Guilders Slave. Good night, everybody. More and more America's good cooks are using Kraft prepared mustards to add lively flavor interest to food. Have you tried blending the tangy flavor of Kraft salad mustard into omelettes, Welsh rabbits, chopped pickle relish, and a golden cream sauce for hot cooked vegetables? They're all extra delicious flavored with Kraft salad mustard. Your dealer also is featuring another popular variety, the Kraft mustard with nifty horseradish added. Buy both kinds. Ask for Kraft horseradish mustard and tangy, golden Kraft salad mustard when you shop tomorrow.