 Snestrunk! Hi everyone, everyone hi. Welcome back to Snestrunk is playing a Link to the Past and I've battled a lot of whiskey so this is going to be pretty embarrassing. So if you clicked on some idiot plays Legend of Zelda after a shitload of whiskey, you're in luck because I'm... It was a very poor decision to choose this game to play while drinking because the first thing that goes when I'm drinking is my sense of direction. I'm going to get lost very easily and it's going to look real bad. It's going to look real bad. So I hope you enjoy that. Oh and God bless the dash function. That's right I got the boots from. I'm recording this in one big session going all the way back. So I'm actually... This is posting like I think on the first week of May or something like that. This is like the middle of March. I really... I can only... God the dash button is so awesome. I can only record these when I have time, right now I have time. So I'm going to do a big long thing commentary and I'm getting progressively more and more wasted as I go along. Oh fuck you guys. Don't you dare. Okay thank you. No heart, huh? Anyway, the week this posted, or as I'm recording this, the video that posted this week is Earthworm Gym and that was courtesy of a very kind Patreon request. So thanks to, I think it's AB1986 that requested it. That was a mistake. I would not have dashed all the way through but let's take these guys on. That's what she said. How dare you use your shield for its intended purpose. God I'm fucking terrible at this. Anyway, yeah, Earthworm Gym posted this week and I got a really interesting comment from somebody, a very valid comment that brought about like a big point of discussion. I want to get the book, right now I want to get the book of whatever to get inside the desert thing, I think, right? But first let's pay this weird kid a visit. He hangs out here and what's up bro, you want a jam? I can play the sword, I got a bug catching net, a butterfly net, I can play that. So yeah, that guy, you know, that's pretty weird. That's pretty weird. Oh, a bomb. I'll be damned. You don't usually find bombs in bushes, I don't think, do you? That's unusual. Anyway, where the hell is the library? That's not the library. The library. Notice how people pronounce that funny? Anyway, yeah, the video that posted was, oh is this the Quarrel brothers? The fussin' in a feudin', the Hatfields in McCoy's? I wonder if anybody even gets that reference. Yes, quarreling. I remember, this is like, when I watched my friend Dan play this, that was like the first time I read the word quarreling and I was like, what the hell is he talking about? That's what I meant. One, you know, obviously everybody misses being a kid, well I would think, you know, most people would miss being a kid unless you had an absolutely horrific childhood. Whoops, I did not mean to do that. I wanted to do this. You guys got to see my Retron 5 menu. I feel so exposed. Oh god no, this is going to be terrible. Uh, um, uh, shit, is this the right way? I have no idea. Oh no. They're all going to laugh at me. Oh, I might actually make it. What? 19 seconds! Why can't I just grab the fucking heart piece? That's horse shit. I think your fucking stopwatch is broken, asshole. So I can't talk to her again. I have to actually go in here and go back and try again. Is there a shorter way? Maybe I can, we'll give you something good. Can I go this way? And keep heading in this direction. I don't want to, shut up, I want to pick up the sign. I can't pick up the sign. Okay, this was a disaster. Motherfucker. One more time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up, let's go. Wait, do I go, you know what, just fuck this whole thing. That went well. You know what, just fuck everything. I'm done. You know, David Cross, the stand-up comic David Cross has a great bit. He talks about meeting the band Harlow. And if you remember who the band Harlow is, you, hey, it's the book of whatever, blah, blah, blah. If you remember who the band Harlow is, you're just, they're not worth remembering. And you know that. So why do you remember who they are? I only remember them for the sake of the joke, because they're a joke. Anyway, David Cross talks about like, going back to, he's really, really wasted, and he goes back to his hotel, and he's arguing with the hotel manager about something or other. And he gets to the, and he talks about getting to the point where he's just like, his brain just shuts off and he's just like, you know what, fuck everything, I'm going to sleep. And I'm kinda at that point right now, or I just wanna say fuck everything, I'm going to sleep. Oh, come on. Get out of my way. Anyway, going all the way back to what I mentioned, I got a comment on my Earthworm gym video that posted today. Well anyway, I noticed that I like doing those kind of videos where you look at a classic game that everybody likes, and you examine it from an objective standpoint, or as an objective as I can get, as I can summon. And it's just a fun little challenge. And it is Earthworm gym worth playing today. And it turns out, yeah it is. But the thing is this guy very nicely said on my channel, hey, this isn't why I come to your channel. Find out about games, what's with this guy? Okay, I come to your channel, anyway, he says I come to your channel to find out about games I never heard of that I might have missed out on. And sure enough, the stats kinda back that up. Like when I look at the age group of people on YouTube statistics, it's all people my age, 34, 35, and older, or just in that general area. It's not people looking to like, oh, I've heard of Earthworm gym, it's people don't care about that. So that made me wonder about the general nature of criticism, especially gaming criticism. But especially in this day and age where we've got the internet and Netflix and all this stuff, it's like, do we need critics anymore? And let me give you an example of what I mean. Oh, this is really, this is one of my favorite parts of this game. It's so silly and stupid. The biggest cupcake in the whole universe. Oh, there we go. I just, oh great, you freaking locked me in. That's not what I wanted. Ugh, you know what? You should be able to use the book as a weapon. You should be able to hit people with the book. Wouldn't that be awesome? That would be a sweet rom hack if you could just like, kill these things. Anyway, no, it made me, no, that guy was, he made a good point. You know, it's, I can see how, you know, maybe it was like, oh, you know, you can take that kind of sentiment personally, like, why don't you like my video or whatever the hell? But no, he was like, I don't come here to read about games I already have made my mind up about. I want to know about stuff that I haven't heard of, like rom hacks or like Super Famicom stuff that never made it to the North America or to anywhere else for that matter. And I was like, and sure enough, yeah, that's kind of like what people are, what people want from this particular channel and the stats kind of bear that out. So, and then at the, in a semi-related note, I post at the Racquet Boy forums and somebody there posted, I had a really good post about, they had, you know, they shared a link on their blog. They posted about the pathetic nature of gaming journalism. Gaining journalism, you don't need me to tell you that journalism and gaming is horseshit. It's pathetic. It's useless. It's like transparently bad. And you all know about the famous meme with the dude sitting there with, I don't even know the guy's name, but he with the Doritos and the Mountain Dew and it's the most pathetic thing ever. That's what fucking video game journalism is. Like if I want to learn and like, if I want to learn about, if I want to know to play Dark Souls or if I want to play Breath of the Wild or whatever, I'm not, I am not going to go to a, I'm not going to go to a critic. I'm just not. I'm going to ask my friends about it. I'm not going to go to fucking Kotaku. I'm not going to go to IGN. I'm not going to do any of that shit because all those sites suck. They're all in the bag. They're all, it's all a big circle jerk. They're all in the bag for each other. Does this do anything at all? I guess not. Nothing happened at all? Okay, well, whatever. Just there to be decorative, I guess. What is this, a pure one? I mean, come on. Anyway, yeah, no. If you go to Kotaku for reviews, you need to like seriously examine what, you know, what you're doing because you shouldn't be doing that. Right on, nice. That was like a lucky shot. I did not. That discussion led me to ask the forum, like, hey, who do you think is the most trusted critic and oh, bullshit. Drunk at his eyes, Sparilla, you must shut up. That does not help me. I kind of hate Zelda games sometimes. I think it's the one on the far left, right? Not the far left, but the one next to that. I'm gonna get all the booty in these jars, regardless. Yes, okay. Right on, anyway. I asked like who is the most trusted, the quote-unquote most trusted critic right now in gaming and you know, people are throwing names. I threw out Yatsu Krosha just as a guess and I like him a lot. He's not just because he's funny, but because he has no inherent bias towards shit or you know, somebody's gonna leave a comment on this video saying, oh, you think he's unbiased? Oh, that's adorable, you know, or whatever. Like, listen, I watch his reviews for Steam games, you know, and stuff like that, that's it. But the, and somebody threw out like Tom Chick and people like that. So it's, I'm, if I like these, does this do anything? Why are these here? Hey, I actually remember to do that. That's like very unusual of me to actually remember something. Oh, we got a full house here, ladies. Sorry. Too bad, so sad. I'll grab one of you. They're probably sick of each other anyway. Just did that other fairy a favor. Anyway, how many times have I said anyway? Somebody out there must be doing a count. This is a heart piece down here, right? With a vulture. Yes, it is. Well, whoop the shit, a heart piece. Let's kill this thing. Anyway, yeah, I asked what is, who do you think is the most trusted critic in gaming? And somebody made, wait, is there something? This is where I wanna go next, right? Whoa, this is where I wanna go next, right? But I have to get, that's right, the big treasure chest is the glove of love, if I remember correctly. Anyway, the, Jesus, can I say anyway anymore? Somebody made a really astute point as they often do on Racket Boy. They said the most trusted critic is the games beaten thread here at Racket Boy. And I'm like, you know what, you're exactly right. Nobody gives a shit about critics anymore. That's like kind of an antiquated thing. Critic, criticism, like reading stuff like that is kind of outdated, isn't it? It's like, and it's true, like if you want to know about like what movies to see or what games you wanna play, who are the first, what's your first instinct to do? It's to ask your friends what they're doing, what they've played it, what they think. It's not gonna be some random yahoo like me. So going all the way back to the Earthworm Gym video that I mentioned earlier, let's dash the fuck down here. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, we got the dragon master key or whatever the hell. Yeah, so it's like nobody, that's kind of an antiquated notion that people are going to find some yahoo on the internet, for those recommend popular, it's like you don't need me to tell you that Earthworm Gym is worth playing today. That's, I did the video, the guy was very nice, where am I going? I just did it, I made that video because it was a specific request, but it makes me feel kind of silly for doing like videos about super Metroid and stuff like that. It's like, of course they're worth checking out. You can, it's easier than ever these days to fucking, oh, the gloves love, yeah. You can feel its strength. That's a little too much information. TMI there, game. Anyway, the, yeah, it's, it doesn't, I don't, you'll hopefully understand this rambling that I'm doing here. But it's a good point and I understand, I want to go back, don't I? It's down here, it's not over there. I'm telling you, my sense of direction is so horseshit when I'm, anyway. Yeah, it's, we use the glove to get these stones out of the way and then we are on our merry way and we fight those big sandworm things, if I remember correctly. Boy, I had this big, I think these move this way, right? Right? That's, there we go, okay. I had this almost perfect, like I, here's how I had this planned out in my head. I'm gonna do a link to the past. It's gonna go awesome. I'm gonna have a link to the past drunk let's play. God damn it. I have a link to the past drunk let's play and then I'm gonna talk about the guide and then I'm gonna talk about, and you know, Nintendo Power and all that sort of stuff. And then when I start the second part, I'm gonna, oh, there better be a heart in that last one. There better be a heart, motherfucker. I need a heart. Give me that heart. Give me, no! Jesus. Well, I certainly earned that, didn't I? God damn it. Anyway, yeah, no, I had this planned out in my head, like yeah, I'm gonna talk about like super deep, like criticism, the nature of criticism and all this other stuff and it worked out. It sounded like a good idea in my head but it turned out to be a rambling mess. Anyway, if you're out there and you're watching this, first of all, thank you. God bless you for making it this far. Oh, bless your little heart. But, oh, fuck this. I'm gonna die, shit. I'm gonna die. Wait, I need a key. Where's the key? Does this motherfucker have it? There it is, okay. I don't have to kill that guy. I can just keep going, okay. Oh, that means boss. Oh, shit, this is where I have to wait, right? Or right on. See, how come they sail over my head sometimes and other times they hit me? Oh, fuck this, that guy, that symbol means boss time. That's misleading, I want my money back. Baton switch. Yeah, this guy takes red implies that he takes more hits. All right, this is the part where you light all the things on fire. God. It's always jarring. Oh, my dogs are very concerned about me right now after I made that noise. What do you guys think about that, huh? You this season, Clyde? Clyde? No, Clyde. I don't have any food. You ready? You too. All right, here we go, it's boss time. Sorry, didn't mean to summon HC Bailey there. Let's just do the, I was too late. Yabbo, yeah. Boy, it is windy outside. I can hear the fucking screen door like slamming against the wall. I should probably concentrate on what I'm doing, huh? Instead of worrying about how windy it is outside. I don't think this is, should one of them be dead by now? Oh, fuck you, I hit all three of them. Oh, that was real smart. God damn it. Am I gonna make it through this? Am I gonna get out of this alive? I may not. There we go, that's more like it. Yuli, get away. Son of a bitch. Yuli, I can't pet you. I'm doing stuff. No, yes, I can't pet you. Not only do you get a boss fight, you get my dog voice. What up? Yuli, no. It's funny when you name a dog, something like Ulysses. And you come up with your dog, it's after a certain amount of time, you know, it's like your unconscious mind says, Ulysses is too many syllables. It needs to be something short and stupid sounding. So that's why we come up with Yuli. Like I wonder if Ulysses as Grant was called Yuli. Oh, God damn it. I have to deal with this beeping and this dog trying to get me to pet him while I'm playing. Fuck you, there, finally. One of these should be fucking dead by now, I was gonna say. Thank you. All right, we got one left. Hopefully he only needs one more hit. Ah, shit, I forgot about that. I'm gonna die. This is all gonna be for nothing. I like how it makes like an owl sound when you hit it. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh, I survived. Oh, and the heart piece made the thing go away and I caught the pendant. Everyone's a winner, congratulations. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. All right, so now what do I do? Anyway, all right, cool. I stumbled through that. What, you get hurt by these things, really? God, if that boss didn't kill me and these fuckers did, that would be really, you know, pretty embarrassing. But normal. Hey, I wonder what that is up there. Oh, red on, cool. I think you can only get up there with the dark, with the mirror. It's one of those things where you warp to a certain spot. Hey, get back here, motherfucker. I should probably heal myself again. What else do I need to do? I mean, I'm not gonna be able to make it to Death Mountain or through Death Mountain and not have this be like a 3,000 minute video. I don't wanna fucking waste that much of your time. I think I'll go get the slippers. Hey, fuck you. Oh, I can lift these up, too, right on. I think there's a stairway over here, isn't there? Lift it up and there's a thingy. Must be this one. Right on. What does this do? Oh, it's this pissed-off guy. Right on, fuck you, cool. Yeah, it is super windy outside. God damn, I mean, it's New Mexico, it's always windy. Oh, yeah, this guy tells you, go get the fucking slippers. That's pretty clever. Like, you come out, that's a good placement of that. You come out of the boss fight with this new ability and you wanna crush everything in your path and that guy tells you, hey, since you're crushing everything in your path, I'm gonna reward you with this knowledge. Is there anything in here that I can do right now? Let's see if I can solve this ridiculously hard puzzle. Can I get through this? No, I can't, because I am... God damn it. I just don't care. Apathy is your friend. And now I'll never get it. What game is it where you... Somebody will tell me. Oh, a heart piece, Nido Mosquito, all right. And fish. Fish is good for you. Can I catch these? I should be able to catch these, right? I think, right? I don't remember... Oh, fuck you, stop fucking hitting me. I think I need to let one of the... I need an empty bottle. Right? Motherfucker, get back here. I can't kill the fish, oh, come on, I... Oh, great. Yeah, this is all going according to plan, really. This is such a disaster. Get back here, thank you. Jesus Christ. Now, can I use my... Oh, come on, I followed him up here. I can't use my bottle as a net and catch the fish. I swear to God, you can catch the fish. Is that Ocarina of Time where you catch the fish and keep it in a bottle? And the bottle holds like milk and shit like that? I'm getting myself all the games confused, I think. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I hear you laughing out there. Motherfuckers, fuckers. Oh, yeah, you can smash these too with the dash. Forgot about that. My dog is very... You will see that was a... My dog had a very frustrated sigh right now. All right, I'll get all of you. Give me the guilt trip, why don't you? My dog just gave a very frustrated sigh. He's very sick of me rambling to nobody right now. This is how he is when I'm on the phone too. Anyway, let's go up to the lake... That's not Lake Hylia. I thought Lake Hylia was in the southeast, rather. That's the northeast, not the southeast. Oh, God bless the dash function. Why couldn't Ocarina of Time... Listen, I understand Ocarina of Time is this beloved blah, blah, blah, the greatest whatever of whatever, I don't care. But why couldn't Ocarina of Time have a dash function to start the game with? Why can't you just like, oh, it's her. It's this witch. Let's... Yeah, that's kind of cool. What's going on in here? But the thing that kills me about that game is the times you have to go all the way across the stupid giant field and your stuff is too overpriced. I do not want to shop here. But all the times you have to go all the way across the stupid giant field at the beginning of the game. Right on. Oh, yeah, here you need the dash function to unlock this. Does this have anything in it? No, it does not. Is there a point to this little area down here? What the fuck is this? Why? What is this, a mud-wrestling pit? Are you fucking for real? Like, what is that? Why? Let's bomb these motherfuckers just for fun. I'm getting... Oh, nice. I don't need your magic, but thank you. I'm starting to get punchy. I'm so out of it right now. Let's... I just want to... Let's check out what's up here and then let's, you know, I've been able to unlock this area with my new stuff. So let's look at it and then let's call it an episode, shall we? I think I need some, like, pizza or something to sober up. There should be a music change here, in my opinion. I should... This area does not warrant the... Whoops, whoops. Whoops. This area does not warrant the typical overworld theme. This needs its own theme. In my opinion, you can wipe your ass with if you'd like to. Oh, I can't go that way. Fuck. It's probably... Where does this go? God damn it. Where does this go? God damn it. It goes nowhere. Of course, it's the fucking... path of... It's the path of most resistance. So let's... Yeah. This needs... I feel very strongly about this needs its own... Because the Zora music in Ocarina of Time is very memorable. It really stands out as something cool. Whoa, here we go. Got... Hacksaw Jim Duggan-Eye is over here. 500! Well, this was all for nothing, then. Alright, if you saw this coming and you saw that I didn't have 500 Rupees, you probably closed the window, like, probably eight minutes ago. You saw that guy doesn't have enough Rupees. He's gonna... Or maybe you skipped ahead to see my reaction. Seriously, I'm not that familiar with this game. I mean, I am, but I'm not, you know. It's one of those things, like... Kind of like the Lufia games, where it's like... I've played through them once. I've played, I should say, I've played... I've 100% of them once. Hey, give me that fish! Alright, well, I'm too far gone to continue this particular episode. Let's get the hell out of here and, um... Oh, boy. This went poorly. This went better in my head, you know? It went, it really did. It went better in my head. I was gonna be able to come out here. I was gonna be able to swim. It's gonna have some, you know... Morolic and frolic in the... In the, in the... Water. And everybody was gonna be happy. And instead... I'm just running into walls with the same old shit that I've always had. Anyway, I wanna thank you for watching if you've made it this far. If you've made it this far, what are you doing watching this? Thank you and please, for me, have a good rest of your day.