 When you discard the narcissist first, narcissists are very arrogant. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. So they are not expecting you to discard them. They're not expecting you to even be capable of leaving them. And it is difficult for a victim to leave a narcissist because even when you've figured them out you end up becoming the cause of your own problems. You have all of the evidence to prove what you've been dealing with but you still find yourself trying to explain and justify their actions. You're still looking for excuses which is what prevents you from leaving them and it's what gives them the advantage because all they have to do is continue lying to you and they will future fake. They will use a detailed vision of the future to bring about bonding and connection in your relationship. They will lie and promise something about your possible future in order to get what they want in the present so that you no longer feel like leaving anymore because now you believe that things are going to get better because they've sold you a dream, they fed you a lie and you want to believe it. You want to believe that this time it's going to be different but when you get to the point where you don't want any more excuses or to hear anything else from them you start making your exit plan which will cause a narcissistic injury once they find out about it. They can't just let you go. They will be very angry. They will stalk and harass you because they never expected it to happen. They thought they had complete control over you. They thought you would always do whatever they want. They didn't realize what you were capable of. They didn't think that you were smart enough to figure out their game so they weren't expecting you to leave which is why they took you for granted and valued you too lightly because they thought you would always be there but when you do leave they will see it as though you have abandoned them and they will want revenge but for them to do that they need to find a way to come back because then they can strike while your guard is down so they will lower their dignity and importance. They will control their behavior. They will love bomb you again and they will tell you that they have changed. They will tell you that their time away from you has made them realize what they did wrong and that they're not going to be like that anymore because they love you and they care about you which can be very persuasive because they may seem upset and some of them will even cry and it will make you believe that they actually care about you but it's all fake it's all a scam to get you back so that they can punish you but they're going to wait until your guard is down they're going to wait until you least expect it until that point they're going to make you think that they have changed because that's going to open you up it's going to make you vulnerable to their attack they're not really going to try to build anything with you because you've already caused a narcissistic injury you've already rejected them so they know you don't want to be with them because you already left so now they have to punish you but until that point they will play their role they will act like they're in your corner they will act like they're on your side they will get you to invest in them and then they will use the bait and switch they will show you who they really are because everything is already set up to ruin you they will make false and damaging statements about you behind your back without your awareness of it and you may think that everything is fine but then they will leave you in a difficult position without help or resources to punish you for leaving them because they always have to outdo you they see everything as a competition and they have to win if you decide to leave the narcissist you have to go no contact you cannot stay in contact with them you cannot be friends with them they're never going to change they're just going to act like they've changed to lure you into another trap and that is the reason why when they've cheated on you had made false and damaging statements about you they don't want to return to you because they know you're going to be holding on to that they know you're going to want revenge and that's exactly what they're going to do to you that's why they're always stalking you they're trying to find a way to punish you for leaving them which is why when you leave them it needs to be final when you leave you need to leave for good because they're never going to change it's only going to get worse thank you for watching i hope this video resonates with you please like comment share and subscribe if you would like to donate my paypal link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coaching at naksafiver.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon