 crime and Peter Chambers Henry Kane transcribed and starring Dane Clark Private investigator duly licensed and duly sworn Peter Chambers You're a private eye That's your business Anything else? That's for laughs No laughs now because you're working on a case and the case happens to involve a little matter of murder And there ain't no laughs and murder despite the Broadway playwrights and arsenic and old lace There just ain't no laughs and murder know-how Your client is an insurance company that stands to lose 300,000 solid simoleons and you're down at headquarters at the office of a good friend by name of detective lieutenant Louis Parker Frank Reed wealthy manufacturer of dolls Senior partner in the firm of Reed and Carson dead by reason of an infusion of bullets in the office of his factory on 23rd Street happened last night at 10 o'clock Now, what's your interest Peter Pan? I've been hired by the insurance company Louis Huh, what insurance company Samson indemnity insured Frank Reed for a hundred and fifty thousand Double indemnity which is three hundred thousand in case of accidental death Frank Reed's brother is beneficiary into that policy Correct gent by name John Reed. Hmm quite a guy this John Reed Poet dreamer highly sophisticated hunk of nothing look Louis This guy stands to pick up three hundred thousand big ones Frank took out that policy only four days ago paid one premium The company's going to get stuck and get stuck heavy Exactly. Why have you been hired Pete? Well overall to help solve this murder But if it turns out that John Reed knocked off his brother the company saves 300,000 bucks, so they hire a private eye No sort of an investment All right, what do you want to know? Um to coin a phrase the fax pal the facts See now the doll factories on 23rd office on the ground floor windows face out to an alley a Frank Reed had an appointment with his partner for 10 o'clock yesterday evening Private business conference windows were open hot night Partner gets there and she finds it. Did you say she? Sunny where'd you get to that she and a gorgeous one by all the cars and young Beautiful skillful designer junior partner boy. Is she okay? Okay, so she gets there When she gets there according to her the play shows signs of a terrific struggle Frank reads on the floor three bullets in him. That's her story. It's all we got is her story Anything else? Yeah, the guy's dying. She revives him. He comes to maybe a minute He tells her according to her that someone came in through that office window conked him from behind That he tried to fight him off and then the bullets came See he tried to write a note after his assailant left Then this Frank Reed dies in her arms and clutched in his hand as a note. You got the note. Yeah, right here Take a look The cuff link is That's the entire note the cuff link is yeah, that's right the cuff link is notice the Scroll at the end there. His strength gave out. He was trying to tell us something, but the Lord knows what Was he wearing cuff links? Yeah, he was any connection none that we can figure out Pity why don't you go down there and look over as they say the scene of the crime Factory's closed, but the office is open and that gorgeous partner of his is there. Well, you talk me into it pal I'll join you there a little later as well. Oh by the way, Louie any special suspects. Well, if it wasn't some kind of ordinary Hold up the only ones with any interest is John Reed This partner Viola Carson and then there's John Reed's wife Linda. Oh and a guy She's kind of stuck on a dancer by name of Salvatore Cortez Here, let me rustle up some of the details for you. You see this John Reed is married to a horny kind of 20 minutes later you're in the ground floor office of a couple of doll manufacturers Reed and Carson The alley windows are open, but there's hardly a breath of air coming in The walls aligned with shelves holding hundreds of dolls all the same the one type of doll they manufactured There's a large desk and that's cluttered with many papers and on that there's a doll too a sample of the one on the shelves But seated at the desk is a real doll She's wearing a man-tailed suit, but man tailoring or no this one's old woman Blonde blue-eyed with soft rose petal lips She stands up and the figure she displays adds a sparkling new interest to the matter at hand What is it please are you Viola Carson? Yes, I miss Carson Miss Carson that doesn't hurt either You tell her who you are and why you're here and she smiles and dimples and co-operates splendidly in the question-and-answer routine She corroborates most of the facts that lieutenant Parker gave you And that's about all I know mr. Chambers. Did you read that note that he had in his hand? Yes, I did The cuff link is and then a scroll He just couldn't complete it any ideas on that. No, sir. None. I Notice that with that lovely blouse of yours that you wear cuff links to yes at the moment. I'm wearing cuff links Now you say you were to have a business conference with Frank Reed for ten o'clock last night Isn't that an unusual hour for business conferences? Well, uh, mr. Chambers. I wish you'd call me Pete Why? People I like I like them to call me Pete and I Like you Viola Quick like that. That's me quick as a bunny Well, and we have the same nature I'm rather precipitous in my likes and dislikes too. Well, how do you? Precipitate with me. I like you well then Before we start talking about cocktails and candlelight. Let's get back to the detective and suspect routine Shall we Viola? It's your party Peter Now about that unusual hour for a business conference. Oh, there's nothing unusual about that we frequently at conferences at that hour I see Do you know Frank's brother this John Reed? I know him very well. What kind of a guy? Best I can express it a character You'd have to meet him to understand. You know his wife Linda. Well, that's her name. I think a spectacular Burnett And one I hope will never call you Pete Well from what I hear their small chance from what I hear she's got a guy other than her husband Whom she loves to call by his first name Salvatore Cortez, you know him too. He's a flamenco dancer at the bongo club Aside from being a terrific dancer. He's quite an inventive guy It was he who originally gave Frank Reed the idea for this doll. We make this Momata. Oh, you mean Frank stole it and this guy bears a grudge. Oh, no, he was well paid for his idea There was no hard feeling between Frank Reed and Cortez Well, how about hard feeling between John Reed and Cortez none there either? From what I hear this Cortez is real palsy. Well, see what the guy's wife Well, you simply have to meet John Reed to understand that I intend to meet John Reed. Um, look mr. Chambers Peter I Yeah, I have got to go now. You can pick this up with me anytime you like I'll be home most of this evening my address. I know your address. Oh From the police. Oh so All right then You'd have loved to have gone with her but you've got work You mess around looking the place over You take a doll off the wall shelf and you handle it Then you look the desk over you'd pick up the doll on the desk and suddenly it slips to the floor and you stoop for it when Somebody with a pea shooter in the alley and the target is you a look out of the alley window shows you that whoever it is is gone Then the door opens that sounded like gunshot. Well, it wasn't backfire old bean pro or con meaning Were you doing the shooting or were you being shot at shot at why I don't know I don't know maybe I was getting too nosy Now I think I'm through here. Hey Louie look Do you think I can sort of steal this little doll and take it home with me the one here on the desk? What's with you and dolls? Well this kind I got a little attachment for this one It slipped from my hands when I stoop for it those shots came over my head So this little one sort of saved my life Sure sure any time you need a carriage or maybe a tricycle or something just call on old Louie So Papa takes his mama doll back to the apartment There you shower clean up and then you're off again on the usual routine pitch checking on all the principal characters It's late when you finally get to John Reed's place, but they should be expecting you you called and made an appointment Good evening. Mr. Chambers. I'm Mrs. Linda Reed Linda Reed Tall olive skinned and attractive And she greets you with about as much enthusiasm as an Eskimo greets an ice cube and a niggler She's wearing an off-the-shoulder evening gown tied to her figure And she's got the kind of figure that address should be tied to Mr. Reed is in his study napping Before you start fetching Mrs. Reed a couple of questions, please I'm in rather a hurry about Frank Reed deceased was he married nobody's told me he was a widower Two children both grown both living in Paris and he had brothers and sisters only John my husband He was the only brother only other relative in fact did they get along John Reed and brother Frank? Well, let me put it this way Frank adored John as witness to life insurance policy in his favor on the other hand John absolutely abhorred Frank abhorred But why because my husband abhors anything or anyone who is dull and he found Frank a stuffy bore I see Your husband is a poet of sorts, isn't he? Well, let us say a writer. Do you sell many things? John oh No, nothing commercial about any of John Reed's work. Then where's the where would all come from Frank was always very kind As I said, he adored John actually admired his peculiarities. I'll fetch him now if you please She goes down a corridor and disappears and you move about looking things over in the world furnished room when You start going in the direction of the shots When a tall blonde man with sleepy blue eyes comes torturing. Are you the alleged detective? Yes. Yes I suppose chambers. Yes, right now. Look. What was that noise? I imagine you'd serve a better purpose in there my study This read this read Those shots what were they out there all the fire. Well, did you see what was no Whoever it was is gone now. He ran down the fire escape man or woman. I couldn't tell I saw somebody but I couldn't tell That's too bad Well, let's get out of the shooting gallery and go back out there and talk to your husband To apprehended the misguided solo attempted my murder. What do you know about him? Mr. Reed? You are John Reed. Yes, I am and I know nothing about it I was just opening my eyes from a delicious dream As far as I know it could have been my dear wife attempting the assassination of her beloved husband. I wouldn't put it past her No, seriously poor sharp. Oh, well as long as we're all safe and sound. I'm a little late Of course off you go my dear Linda and my best to mr. Cortez Good evening there That was solvatori Cortez. I was referring to my wife is quite an amateur of him Hi ball, mr. Chambers. No, thank you. Look Don't our modern poets indulge themselves in the ancient emotion of jealousy, mr. Reed as they do I suppose And they do not speaking for myself. No jealousy Oh, I should explain of course that my wife and I cordially Detest one another I say and now that the howling clatter of pistols is Subsided I do wish would state your business mr. Chambers well, sir As you know I represent the insurance company as in they have some absurd idea that I murdered Frank in order to fall Air to three hundred thousand dollars Well, sir, it's a pretty good idea at that in time. I'm sure I'd have come around to thinking about it But I didn't that's final any idea who did none. Whatever Any idea who just took potshots at you same answer? I'll say this for you. You're amazingly unruffled. Well, I'm afraid list mr. Chambers My philosophy is that of the ancient Indians predestination to put it in modern and laconic terms When my number is up it is up. I'm always singularly free of worry. Okay. Let's change the subject now your wife Beautiful woman isn't jam. Yeah, well, I mean your wife and this Salvatore Cortez great dancer that young man performs at the bongo club. That's where she went No, no, no, what I mean is what is the chambers you're reaching and you're attempt to be tactful There's no reason for that. No, and whatever if she's in love with him just between you and me I don't give one little toot in Hades Now if you please a very good evening juice, sir Next stop the bongo club From there you phone to Viola Carson that you'll see her later And then you lap up some scotch at the bar and you watch this Salvatore Cortez perform The guy's dark slender and graceful wrapped up in tight black pants and a white silk shirt and banging his heels against the floor like He's sending out Morse code messages Joins Linda at a secluded table Which turns out to be not so secluded because you sort of mosey over Chambers really this is Mr. Chambers mrs. Reed Buster for me you don't have to make with that phony Spanish accent, but I do not understand I will not have you speak these way come off a will you pal I've done a little back-checking your name is Sam Cortland. You were born in Brooklyn. How do we get it straight or phony? Okay, you get it straight mr. Sleuth Straight is like this Beat it Sonny unless you talk nice, I'm gonna yank you up by your little lily white shirt and maybe paste you up against that wall What do you want? Just a little chatter. Don't let him intimidate you Salvatore. The name is Sam. Didn't you hear me? I know what his name. Okay. What do you want answers to a couple of questions? Civil all right. All right. What's happened? You wear cuff links sometimes I do sometimes I don't wear cuff links last night Last night. I don't remember. I don't remember putting it in my diary Oh, you're very funny Next question Where were you last night between 9 30 and 10 in my apartment you prove that I don't have to pal If it doesn't suit you you prove I wasn't you won't cooperate on Words of one syllable. No, what am I wasting my time for that's your time It's my time at your wasting that bothers me you keep making with a crack sonny and sooner or later I'm going to rearrange that phony pussy. Oh, please mr. Chambers You grab a cab to Viola Carson's place an Acute little hideaway. She's got Terrace and stuff Exactly the spot for cocktails and candlelight and she's most gracious Oh won't you sit down Peter Is there anything new on Frank's death Any clues any idea? Well, there is something beating around the back of my head, but I can't put my finger on it It's a funny case somebody running around taking potshots at everybody even me, please Please sit down Peter. All right Wait, I'll take that doll off the chair It's one of ours That's it. What? Sweetheart, I think I've got it. Where's your phone? You call down to Parker and you ask him to round up the entire cast of characters and bring them to your apartment and There with Parker's cops making a blue coated semi-circle and back with the principles You go to work with the two dolls the ones in Viola's place and the one you took off Frank reads desk And now Peter Chambers the gentleman with the dolls is not gonna do an Edgar Bergen or a Paul Winchell Peter Chambers is gonna do Peter Chambers. Thank you lieutenant Now first ladies and gentlemen the regular doll listen, please and now The doll I took off Frank reads desk listen You know the difference Mr. Chambers if you're so set on playing with dolls I have a Shut up. Go right yourself a palm. Just a little easy Louis once more ladies and gentlemen the regular doll Now the doll from Frank reads desk Now there must be a reason for the Vocal restriction of the second doll there must be something jamming up the sound box This doll just says ma and the other says ma ma you know you sound cute Louis Oh, I don't shoot now. Let's get back to the unfinished note that Frank read wrote The cuff link is and then he passed out before he could finish it now. Let's figure it this way There was a tussle he tore off his assailants cuff link and he put it somewhere And he tried to write out a note as to just where he did put it so that the killer would be identified Now it's my hunch that it's in the innards of this doll So I unscrew the head I dig in like so and I come up with our cuff link with initials SC SC for Salvatore Cortez or even for Sammy Corfinn. What about that Sammy? I never saw it. I don't think so Louis. You see this Brooklyn tamale bumps off Frank read So John read latches on to 300,000 then he's gonna bump John which explains the shooting off that fire escape So then dear old Linda latches on to the said 300,000 and then Linda and Salvatore Linda, she talked me into it. That's a lie. It was all his idea We were gonna get married Linda and I but it was her idea. She talked me into it Just the reverse he talked me into it. I don't care who talked who went to what just keep on talking mr. Flamenco dance. Just a minute. Look Sal What about me? Why should I be part of your private shooting gallery? After I got out of there. I I realized my cuff link was missing And the place was lousy with cops and I couldn't go back After a day, I knew they didn't have it. How'd you know had my initials on it long as I wasn't arrested I knew they didn't have it then But they I came back for it You were in the office. I Saw you with that doll in your hands And I heard it as you said vocally restricted and I knew where that cuff link was I've had experience with dolls the idea for this type doll was mine. I Used my gun You dropped in time. Okay, you two. Let's go and so Parker links up with his culprits and heads for downtown And you link up with the lovely Viola Carson and head for Cocktails and candlelight and there you've had crime and Peter chambers Dane Clark was starred as Peter Chambers Crime and Peter Chambers was created and written by Henry Kane Others in the cast were Bill Zuckert heard as Lieutenant Parker Bill Griffiths as John Reed and Leslie Wood as Viola It was directed by Fred way This is Fred Collins inviting you to tune in next week same time same station for Dane Clark in crime and Peter Chambers Be with us again next week at this same time for another adventure by Peter Chambers in crime and Peter Chambers This is the United States Armed Forces radio and television service