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Smoke a Lucky to feel your level best. Get on the Lucky Level, where it's fun to be alive. Get a carton of Lucky's and get started today. The Lucky Strike Program starring Jack Spenny with Ferry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Gentlemen, one of the most popular restaurants in the country is the Brown Derby in Hollywood. Let's go back to yesterday afternoon and look in as the Brown Derby's headwaiters handle the overflow luncheon crowd. Gus, did you see Mr. Gable at his usual place? No, Chilius. Mr. Gable joined Eve Arden and her party. That's good. There's so many people waiting. Well, perhaps we can set up some more tables. Hey, Chilius, look who's coming in. Jack Benny. You take care of them. No, Gus. It's your turn this time. No, no. It's your turn. All right, all right. I'll take care of him. He changed networks. Why doesn't he change restaurants? Oh, Jack, here comes Chilius. Yeah, he'll get us a table. Well, good afternoon, Mr. Benny. Hello, Chilius. I'd like a table. They have some lovely tables at Romanoff's. I know. Romanoff sent us here. Good afternoon, Miss Livingston. I didn't see you. I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Benny. You'll have to wait. Every table in the place is taken. Well, maybe we... Hey, Mary, look. Hey, look, there's Jimmy Stewart having lunch all by himself. I'll ask him if we can sit at his table. But Jack, if he's eating by himself, maybe he prefers to be alone. Oh, don't be silly, Mary. He'll be glad to have company. Come on. Only, uh, let me do the talking. Hey, Mary, look who's here. Hmm? Oh, hello, Jack. Hello, Mary. Well, if it isn't Jimmy Stewart. You know, Jack, Hollywood's a funny place. You say, well, if it isn't Jimmy Stewart and everybody in the brown burberry applaud. Yes, yeah. By the way, Jimmy, we're in a hurry and all the tables are taken. Would you mind if we join you? How can he say no? You're already eating his rolls. There's enough for both of us. Sure, sure. Come on, let's sit down here. Here, I'll make room for you, Mary. Well, thank you. There we are. Now, Jack, I'll move over. Oh, just sit still, Jimmy. You need to move for me. I'll squeeze right in here and then we can... Whoops! Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, Jimmy. I knocked over the pitcher and spilled the water. Oh, that's all right. With this weather, it froze before it hit the floor. That's right. And here we are. Let me hand you my napkin. I knocked over the ketchup bottle. Better wipe it off, Jimmy. You look like an ad for Blood on the Moon. Yeah, I'm sorry, Jimmy. You know, Jack, I've been sitting here eating for 30 minutes. You've been here 10 seconds and you've got more on me than I've got in me. Well, I guess it's because we're in such a hurry. I take your orders, please. I'm sorry. Well, I guess it's because we're in such a hurry. I take your orders, please. Yes, yes. I'll have a club sandwich and a cup of coffee. Yes, sir. Yours, Miss Livingston? Oh, gee, I don't know what to have. What's that you're eating, Jimmy? Oh, it looks delicious. Oh, this is something my mother always used to make for me. It's my favorite dish. What is it? Mozzarella ball soup. Oh, oh. Chili, I'll have a Caesar salad and a pot of tea. Yes, Miss Livingston. By the way, Jimmy, I saw your latest picture. You've got to stay happy. And you and Joan Fontaine certainly make a wonderful combination. Oh, well, thank you, Mary. You made that picture for Universal, didn't you, Jimmy? Yes, yes. Before that, I made rope for Warners and then I made one over at MGM, one at RKO, one at 20th Century, and then one for Paramount. What's the matter? Can't you keep a steady job? It's just that Jimmy prefers to freelance. Oh, oh. By the way, Jack, what have you been doing lately? Well, I've been rather busy with radio. Radio? Well, aren't you a little late getting into that with television and everything? No, no, Jimmy, I've been in radio for 17 years, but I haven't made a picture since I was at Warners, and I left there because there was always a big issue, you know, when it came to casting. Well, I can understand that, Jack. You and Earl Flynn are the same type. Yes, yes, we are. Uh, Jack had the same trouble with MGM, but they decided to keep Lassie. Anyway, Jimmy, I'm not appearing in pictures because I'm producing them now. Oh, I didn't know you were producing pictures, Jack. Oh, yes, yes. Matter of fact, I just finished my first one. It's called, uh, The Lucky Stiff, starring Dorothy Lamour, Brian Dunleavy, and Claire Trevor, soon to be seen at your neighborhood theater. Jack, uh, what are you yelling for? Jimmy, if these people can eat here, they can afford to go and see it, you know. You know, a plug's a plug, isn't it? Mr. Benny, if you'd like, you can move over to this table here. Chili, I thought you didn't have any empty tables. We've got a lot of them now. We'll just, we'll just stay where we are. Yes, sir. Here's your food. Who gets the salad, please? Oh, the salad is mine. Now, let's see. What are we talking about before the food game? The picture you produced, The Lucky Salad. No, no, The Lucky Stiff. Oh, oh, yes. Say, you know, Jimmy, I've just been thinking, you're a nice guy, and here you've been having a tough, not working steady at 1E1 Studio. So, I'm going to do you a big favor and put you in my next picture. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, what happened? Jimmy. Oh, that's the first time I ever saw anyone choke on a matzah ball. I probably surprised him with my offer. Yeah, she certainly did. Uh, but Jack, the only reason I can't accept it is because I have so many other commitments. Well, Jimmy, we can make it after you fulfill your other commitments. But Jack, after that, I want to take a vacation. No buts, Jimmy, my boy. Look it, I'll make a big star out of you. Now, you've got to let me make this picture with you. Now, what's the salary you usually get for picture? $200,000. Water's on the floor. Sorry, you. You better discuss this with Jimmy some other time. It's getting late and the whole gang will be waiting at the studio for rehearsal. Yeah, yeah. I'll get the check. Waiter, waiter, our check. Waiter, waiter. Jack, just call him. Don't wave your toupee. Jimmy, this isn't a toupee. It's just a small hairpiece. Hairpiece? I'd have to have a fur coat like that. I'd like to have you read your line right. I suppose I run along and start the rehearsal. Well... I'll see you later, Jack. Goodbye, Jimmy. Goodbye, Mary. Say, Jimmy, have you heard the way people are talking about Mary lately? Talking about Mary? Yes, I hate to see this. Say this really, but have you noticed... Have you noticed how she always leaves the table just before they bring the check? It's embarrassing, you know. I hate to see it too, you know. But anyway, Jimmy, getting back to the picture I want you to do for me, now, I have a story. Excuse me for interrupting, but I happen to have a snapshot of you, Mr. Benny. Would you mind autographing it? Oh, I'd be happy. Hey, Jimmy, would you mind lending me your fountain pen? Not at all. Here you are, Jack. Thanks. Now, let's see. With my very best wishes, best wishes, Jack Benny. Here you are, lady. Thank you very much. It's a nice meeting you. Oh, wait a minute, lady. This is Jimmy Stewart. Don't you want his autograph? No, but 30 years ago, I would have. Look, Jimmy, I've got to run over to CBS and rehearse my show. Suppose you come along with me and we'll discuss a deal for a picture. No, no, Jack, I'd rather not. Here's the check, gentlemen. No, thank you, Julius. No, Jimmy, let me take it. After all, it was your table and Mary and I barged in. So I insist on paying it. No, no, Jack. I'd feel better if I paid for it. Well, if your health is involved, go ahead. I got to run along and... See, my hands are kind of sticky. Where's my napkin? Oh, here it is. I can't pull it up. What's the matter with this napkin? You've got my shirt tail. No, no. Well, here, I'm through with it. Um... Come on, Jimmy. Goodbye, Jack. I got it so late. I hope they start the rehearsal without me. Did Jimmy Stewart agree to let you produce his next picture? Well, not yet, Mary, but I'm sure he'll come around to talk to me about it. Now, come on, kids. We've got a rehearsal to do, so let's get started. Mr. Benny, I've read over my pot three times already. Well, good, Dennis. It's nice to know that you're diligent. Dilligent? Are we doing a gangster sketch? That's good! Well, don't I get nothing for being close? No. And, Phil, look at Phil. Watch your cue. Now, you come into the sketch on page 21. 21? Yes. That's all your fingers, all your toes, and one more. Now, Mary, in this sketch, you're going to play the part of Dennis's wife, and you've just gotten married. Dennis and I are newlyweds? Yes. And you're a Niagara Falls on your honeymoon. Where am I? What? I don't know about you, kid, but I'm on page 22. That's 21. I've got 11 toes! Phil, you miscounter. Try again. Now, Mary, as soon as we... Who fired that shot? I did. That reverberation you just heard was the result of a firearm that I discharged to test the acoustical quality of the studio. Acoustical quality? Who are you? I'm Herbert, your sound effects man. Oh, oh. Well, look, Herbert, don't try any more shots. All I want are the sound effects that are written into the script. Well, you can depend on me, Mr. Benny. For years, I have devoted my artistry to dramatic shows, and I have mastered the most difficult sound effects ever heard on radio. Really? Yes. One in particular baffled every sound effects master in the industry, but by perseverance and sheer ingenuity, I managed to reproduce it. I see. It was on the prudential hour. The scene was a moonlit night, and two lovers were dancing out on the patio. Oh, yes, yes. I heard that show. As the soft music filled the balmy summer evening, the two lovers drew closer and closer until his cheek lightly brushed against hers. That was the most delicate sound effect of all. Well, I should imagine it was. How did you get the sound of his cheek delicately brushing against hers? I slapped a hot water bottle with a piece of raw liver. Those are the kind of effects we need on our show. Now, Mary, I'll write a scene where you brush my cheek, you know, against your cheek, against mine. Jack, liver's 90 cents a pound. Well, just kick me in the pants with a cheek. Now, Don, let's take the rehearsal from that scene where we're in the house and there's a knock on the door. Okay, Jack. Herbert, give us a knock on the door. No, no, Herbert, a little louder. Herbert, that still isn't loud enough. Why is the knock so soft? I use jergens. Oh. Well, then maybe we ought to have a doorbell instead of a knock. There, that's more like it. Well, I didn't do that. What? Jack, there's really someone at the door. Oh, Don, you're near the door, openly. Say, Jack, it's Jimmy Stewart. You see, Mary, what did I tell you? You came after me already. Come on in, Jimmy. Thanks. What can I do for you? Well, Jack, I hate to break in on your rehearsal like this, but there's something I want to talk to you about. Oh, Jimmy, it's quite all right. We have plenty of time. Not me. I got to go to Niagara Falls and meet Mary. Then let's be quiet. Now, Jimmy, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? It's about the picture. You see, Mary? Now, Jimmy, we can start production on the picture just as soon as we... I mean the picture you autographed at the Derby. You kept my fountain pen. Oh. Oh. I wouldn't have bothered, but it's a lifetime pen and I'm young yet. Yes, yes. Here's your pen, Jimmy. Thanks. Now, Jimmy, let's get back to business. I know you made a swell picture call. You got to stay happy. But I can do so much for you that... Jack, why don't you leave him alone? Can't you see that Jimmy's not interested? No, Mary. I can help him. He doesn't need help. He's already won an Academy Award. An Academy Award, Jimmy? For what picture? Philadelphia story. Who cares about Philadelphia? I'm going to Niagara Falls. Now, be quiet. You know, Mary, you know, you're just about the only sensible one around here. And you know something else, I think you're very pretty, too. Oh, Jimmy, do you really mean it? Yeah, sure. Of course I do. Come over here, Mary. You know, you have such beautiful eyes and such a lovely complexion. Oh, Jimmy. And maybe sometime I could take you out dancing in the moonlight. Just the two of us, maybe. Out on the patio. He's getting close to a herb and get ready with the liver. Actors get bigger laughs than comedians. Now, look, Jimmy, let's settle that picture deal we've been talking about. Well, Jack, I... You're supposed to be mad here. Jack, I just can't make a picture with you this year. You've got to be awardy. Can't read. Jack, I just can't make a picture with you this year. You'll have to excuse me. I'm going over to dressing room G. I have to look over a dramatic script. Oh, that's right next door, Jimmy. I'll show you where it is. Ted, I'll be back in a minute. So, Jimmy, as I pointed out to you, it'll be to your advantage to make this picture for me. Jack, now, you've been talking to me for an hour and a half since we came into the dressing room here. Now, will you please just let me lie here and relax? How about it? Well, yes. Okay, okay, Jimmy. See you later. Yeah, da-dee-da-dum. Da-dee-da-dum. Da-dee-da-dum. He'll be back. Da-dee-da-dum. Oh, oh, Don. Don, bring the quartet in now. We'll go over to the commercial. Well, Jack, we're going to have a little difficulty with the sportsmen this week. They're having trouble with their wives, and they're all upset. What? Yes, yes, Jack. It's terrible. Their wives want to leave them. All four of them? Don, I've never seen a quartet like that. When one has a cold, they all have cold. When one has a headache, they all have headache. Don, I don't care if they're having trouble with their wives or not, we've got to have a commercial. Now, where are they? Well, they're in the dressing room talking to their wives on the phone. Oh, my goodness. Come on down. We're going to talk to them right now. And I can't imagine four fellas having the same trouble at the same time. Well, here's their dressing room. Let's go in. Look, Jack, they're still on the phone treating with their wives. Yeah. Say it isn't so Everyone is saying you don't love us Say it isn't so Gee, that's awful. I'm sorry. Everywhere we go Boys, boys Everyone we know Fellas, fellas, look. Whisper that you're real Say it isn't so Boy, I'm sorry, boy But I need a commercial Please don't go away Fellas, really, I need a commercial Promise you will stay A commercial We will fill the house With lucky strikes You'll get them every day Thank you Look, I'll talk to your wives I'm sure that everything will be all right Fellas, look, right now I need a commercial Fellas, it'll be all right Look, I need a commercial Boys, l-a-t-m-t-b Take them or maybe they'll feel better tomorrow I'll see you later, Don I hate to see those fellas so upset I hope they settle things with their wives But then that's their worry, not mine Oh, Jack Huh? Oh, hello, Jimmy Jack, I came out here to talk to you Yes, yes, about the picture No, not about the picture Then what is it, Jimmy? Jack, I realize now that When you took my fountain pen The brown derby You wanted me to follow you around What? So, uh When you took me into the dressing room Told me to lie down and relax And put my feet up on the chair I should have known you were up to something Huh? Jack, give me back my shoes Oh, yes, yes, your shoes Here you are, Jimmy I'll thank you from a sock, too Oh, yeah, your socks Now, Jimmy, as long as you've got a few minutes While you're putting on your shoes and socks Let's talk about the picture Now, if you will just No more talk, Jack I told you I have too many commitments And that settles it Okay, Jimmy, but if you just change your mind Come around and see me Well, I won't change my mind Say it isn't so Little does he know La, la, la, la, la, la Now, come on, kids Let's finish the rehearsal and make it snappy I'm waiting for me out in the parking lot with my car Oh, Mr. Benny will be out in about a half hour I better start warming up the motor Must be something wrong with the battery again I better take a look There's the battery and it has the positive and the negative Then there are the sparks The sparks are supposed to go from the electrons To the electrodes Or maybe they go from the generator to the distributor Then again, maybe they go from NBC to CBS Let's lose wire here is the trouble So I'll just fasten it and... Hello, Rochester Huh? Oh, hello, Mr. Stewart Say, has Mr. Benny come out of the studio yet? No, but he should be here any minute By the way, Mr. Stewart I was over to your house the day before Christmas Mr. Benny has me drop off a package for you Did you get it? Yes, but this time there was too much starch In the collars Well, don't look at me I'm rough dry Mr. Benny is the starch man You know, Rochester, your boss amazes me How long has he been in the laundry business? Oh, a long, long time Say, Mr. Stewart, you were born May 8th, 1911, weren't you? Yes, that's right How'd you know? You used to take our diaper service My dear Yeah It broke Mr. Benny's heart The way you and Gary Cooper grew up so fast But, uh... Rochester, I still can't understand a man Of Mr. Benny's position Having a laundry service in his home Oh, the laundry is just a sideline A sideline? Uh-huh Mr. Benny does more business in his living room than Eastern Columbia, Broadway at 90 Yeah On holiday, you can't get near the joint All right, Rochester Are we ready to go? Yes, boss, all set Good Now, first, I want you to drive me to... Uh, Jack I'd like to see you for a second Oh, hello, Jimmy So you've finally changed your mind And you want to appear in my picture No No It's not that There's something I'd like to ask you What is it? Now, look, uh... Jack, I... You've been using little tricks So I'd follow you around all day Hmm? Well, yes I must admit I did You're not angry, are you, Jimmy? Oh, no, no No But tell me one thing What is it, Jimmy? I... I know how you got my phone, Ben Uh-huh I can even figure out how you got my shoes And my socks Yeah But how, in the name of heaven Did you get the filling out of my tooth? I'll tell you when we finish the picture Come on, Rochester, drive home Jack, we'll be back in just a moment But first Smoke a lucky to feel your level best Smoke a lucky to feel your level best You see, lucky's fine tobacco Picks you up when you're low Calms you down when you're tense Put you on the right level To feel and do your level best It's good to know that fine tobacco Can do this for you And that's why it's so important That you select and smoke the cigarette Of fine tobacco lucky strike For as every smoker knows L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T Lucky strike means fine tobacco The experts, men who know tobacco Look to lucky strike for their own Personal smoking enjoyment Yes, more independent auctioneers, buyers And warehousemen smoke luckies regularly Than the next two leading brands combined So next time you buy cigarettes Ask for lucky strike and get on the lucky level Where there's real joy in living Where it's fun to be alive The lucky level where you feel and do your level best Smoke a lucky to feel your level best Smoke a lucky to feel your level best Get on the lucky level where it's fun to be alive Get a carton of luckies and get started today Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank Jimmy Stewart For following me around on my program today And next Sunday, listening to CBS Line Up The Prudential Hour, Spike Jon... Jack. Just a minute, Jimmy. And after Spike Jon comes Jack Benny, that's me And my guest will be Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. Jack. Jimmy, just a minute. Gender, name is Mandy, Sam Spain. Jack, I've got to talk to you. In his life with Luigi, Armist Brooks and Helen Hayes. Jack. What is it, Jimmy? I want to go home and give me my pants. There you are. Good night, Paul. Don't forget the new Lucky Strike program. You're Lucky Strike's Carmen Garminici Heard every weekday afternoon over most of these stations. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.