 I'm Wendy Lo and I'm here with you as we journey to take your health back. We are coming to you live from downtown Honolulu from the studios of ThinkTek Hava'i. ThinkTek Hava'i offers you a spectrum of personalities as they offer you 45 different hosts with very different topics of interest. Today our topic of discussion will be on mentorship for complete wellness. Centers are essential for spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical wellness. How do we set ourselves up for success and complete wellness in every area of our lives? What we would like you to take away from today's discussion is to seek people who have been successful in all the areas of wellness and allow them to hold you accountable. That is so key, the accountability part. Today we are very honored to welcome Joseph Delaney, Marine Corps Colonel and Life Coach with mentorship for complete wellness. So welcome to my show, Joseph. Aloha, Wendy. Thank you for having me. We're so excited that you're here. And I know that I found you on Facebook, I mean of course you're one of my Dragon Boat paddlers and shown up, did the job, we brought him the trophy, we're excited to have you on board next year. I've probably already recruited you for next year. So excited about that and that you said yes. Yes. Yes, okay. And after serving 26 years as an officer in the Marine Corps, I just loved your discipline on our boat. You came on board and you just knew what you had to do and you did it. And we brought home the trophy, as I said. So a lot of credit goes to you for being that personality on our ship, I should say. Right? So Joseph, just tell us a little bit about who you are. Well, a lot of credit goes to you as well for driving the team so on. But you've probably alluded to me being a Marine Corps officer and I owe a lot of what I do today to the Marine Corps. And I'm very thankful for that. I am a product of a lot of mentorship over those 26 years. I'm originally from Trinidad, the West Indies. And I grew up in Augusta, Georgia, where I graduated from Savannah State University. I love so many things about life. I'm a big picture fanatic. I love videos. I love the beach. I love health and wellness, all components, fruits and veggies. I have the one, you know, I don't like chocolate. Oh! And I know your background, so that's a little bit odd. Then I should have worked for me because that's the kind of people I like, the ones that don't like chocolate. Because you won't eat the product. You won't eat the profits. And that's important. Well, I have found out that's not normal, but I'm okay. I'm not normal in a lot of good ways. And hopefully we'll see that come out in the video. But you know what's really neat, too? It's my two daughters. They were born and raised in the chocolate factory. They don't like chocolate, either. Oh, I love them already. Yeah. But see, again, that was really good because I didn't have to worry about turning my back and like, what are you doing, girls? That's, again, already a pound of chocolate you've consumed today. So I didn't have that issue as a mother in a chocolate factory. So I would welcome you at any time to volunteer at the River of Life Chocolate Unimission, because you're the best kind of person I'm, on the other hand, am a chocolate and I will and have eaten most of the profits. Uh-oh. Can you tell? So let me jump into your professional career as a Marine Corps Colonel. What were and what do you do in the Marine Corps? What did I do in the Marine Corps? What do I do? What do you do? So I came in and listed right after high school. I've known since seventh grade I wanted to be a Marine. I met a guy who would later become my mentor, my first mentor, outside of my parents, of course. Master Sergeant Raymond Snyder made a tremendous impact on my life and I never looked back. Walked into the recruiter's office right after high school and enlisted in the Marine Corps. I later went to Savannah State University where I earned my commission as a Marine. 26 years later now I'm part of Marine Forces Pacific. I've had great opportunity to lead the finest men and women across the Pacific and I've never, never even doubted what I do for a moment. I love it. So right now we just want to say mahalo to you for knowing what you wanted to do, serving our country and doing such a great job in doing so and still very passionate after 26 years of serving and well that's even better that you considered an honor because we considered an honor that you've done that for us so we mahalo you. Thank you for your support. And so now as a young man, signing up, joining, that's a big decision and were your parents a part of that decision or did you just decide that that's what you wanted to do? My parents were not a part of that decision. I was only 17 and I had to get my parents permission. My dad served 30 years in the Army, retired as a Soviet major and had a significant influence but not directly on going into the military just on the way he lived his life in an honorable sense of how he lived his life. When it was that first Marine, that's the Soviet Schneider that really inspired me to join the Marine for I loved everything about what I saw and he exhibited such a high degree of integrity and discipline that I knew I wanted to be whatever that was. I didn't even know it was a Marine at that time but I knew that's what I wanted. So did the look, yourself looking at you in a uniform, did that have anything to do with it? That you wanted to be that man in the uniform? It was the way he carried himself. It was the uniform, it was the pride, it was something different about him. He walked into the auditorium that day, it was a career day at my middle school and everyone else, every service, every profession had done presentations but when he walked in there was just this confidence about him, he was powerful, he was confident, he knew what he wanted, he knew what he was doing and he wasn't selling, he was just being himself. Wow. And that drove me in and I never even had it out. He did a good job because 20 some years later you're still doing that, you actually should be a Marine Corps recruiter. This was never planned to be this long, I just enjoyed what I do. Well, so the fact that it is this long and that you still enjoy and are honored and I think you would encourage a lot of other 17 year olds to do as you did and make that decision and be grateful and happy about it. I'm hoping to do that in a lot of different ways. Yes, I can understand that and I see that's what attracted me to have you on the show is that you have that passion for mentoring and so critically needed for so many and so we're going to encourage you in any which way that you can get this and reach as many as you can. So now I would like you to tell us a little bit about your family outside of your work. Oh, my family. I'll have to try to keep my composure when I talk about my family, my girls. Jayla is now 13, she turned 13 last month, well two months ago now in October and Alyssa will be 11 later on this year. I still call them my babies but you can tell by the pictures they are not babies anymore. They'll always be your babies. They are little ladies and they challenge me to be the best person I can be. One of the things I think about a lot is my goal, my public goal in life is to help other people recognize and achieve their full potential but the reality is when I'm at home alone with just me and my thoughts, my goal is to be the hero that my girls believe that I am. Yes. And that's what really drives me. That's my reason why they are my everything. Yes. That's an amazing goal and a reason and I'm sure you're accomplishing it every day of your lives. I hope so. And so that is so critical as a parent to have that goal and your daughters will have great success as they're growing up. I have to tell you my daughter's team from Christian Academy, they are going to the basketball championship for Intermediate so they will be at the basketball championship on Thursday night and I am so proud. I will be in the front row trying not to lose my voice. Lose your voice. It's worth it. It's all worth it. So now you have a happy, enduring family life. You have a great career with the Marine Corps and what makes you happy? I mean, what kind of hobbies outside of family and work do you have? I am willing to try anything at least one time. I've done the Spartan Race, I do CrossFit, I cycle, I run, I paddle, I paddle board, I obviously I was on your team for the Dragon Boat Race, but there's some other hobbies too. I enjoy reading. I read a lot and that's the foundation of who I am. I digest books at a very fast pace. I have to, but I'm not a fast reader. I'm just a consistent reader. But everything, anything I get my hands on, every athletic event that someone invites me to, I take advantage of. I just enjoy being outdoors. That's part of the reason why I enjoy Hawaii so much. We can be outdoors year round. My true passion is helping other people. My faith is what really guides me. But my hobbies, my fitness, I actually have to remember this day balance. Wellness is so much more than the physical component. It's the spiritual, the emotional, the mental. I can get wrapped up in the physical very fast and I know I'm competitive, so I actually have to hold back on that stuff. Right. And you've hit it right on the nail and that's why, you know, when they asked me to do this show, what would the title of my show be? And it would be take your health back because it doesn't just confine me to nutritional health or, you know, physical health, but all. I mean, if you were a banker, it would be financial health. It would be anything related to health because your health is within. And if you have, you know, if you nail all these aspects, you're going to be healthier, you know, or step towards health. And that's health and wellness is so important. Mental health, the direction that you're specializing in, that's very critical as well. Right. We need more of that. We need absolutely more of that. We need more of you to go out there and just talk to kids, talk to adults. And that's basically what we need to do more of. End time, just hearing people's hearts. Yes. Are they suffering? Are they hurting? Are they joyful that they share? Whether it's good or bad, sharing. And that's very critical for everyone. Yes. So why did you choose to focus on mentorship? I didn't originally choose it. I chose to lead. I wanted the opportunity to lead, and the Marine Corps gave me more opportunities than I could ever imagine. At the age of 20 and 21, I had tremendous leadership opportunities, and it blew my mind of what I was allowed to do. And then I met one of the first mentors I had as an officer. After I met the son, Schneider, he became our general Stanley, the gentleman you see me within the photo. He took me under his wing and showed me what compassion was really all about. He gave one of the first speeches I ever heard him give, was called the Big C. And I didn't know what he meant by that. How can you lead Marines and show such tremendous compassion? What I wanted to do was take that to the next level. I realized that I had a gift. I received the confirmation, the affirmation, and the phrase over my 26 years in the Marine Corps. And it was time for me to do something different. It was time for me to give back. And I wanted to give back in a personal way. I didn't want to just lead Marines. I wanted to mentor them and take care of them at the heart level. Well, that's so powerful. And you often, I'm not a military family or person, so I'm not privileged to experience what you have. But we watch movies, and you see when they go to the boot camp, and they're, you know, and so that's the kind of, yeah, OK, so I just see them try to, I guess they try to build up character by spanking you guys around and just being mean and rough to you, but in my heart, how does that really build somebody's character up when you're putting him down so bad? You know what I mean? I don't know exactly. That's just from movies, so can you clarify that a little bit? Everything has a purpose. In Marine Corps Boot Camp and Marine Corps Officer Candidate School, we want to get everyone on the same playing field. So first, you strip down everyone. You get rid of all those bad habits from the years of upbringing. We have good habits, too, of course. But we want to get everyone on the same playing field. One of the things in Marine Corps does exceptionally well is we build everyone up. We start off as a Marine the day you graduate, the day you receive that Eagle Globe and anchor. We are all equal, and we know that because we've created that brotherhood through shared experiences of everything we've been through. Wow. I want to sign up. Oh, no, no, no. So you're branching out way beyond your leadership roles as a Marine. Why, at this point in your life, why are you branching out now? It's time, Wendy. It's time. I reached the crossroads in my life this past summer. I had reached the pinnacle of my career. I am extremely fulfilled of everything I accomplished, goals beyond my wildest dreams. I never set out to do this for a lifetime. And I absolutely have no regrets. And I can keep doing this as long as the Marine Corps will continue to keep me around because I truly enjoy it. But I realized that while I've done well and gotten the confirmation within the scope of the responsibility the Marine Corps has given me, as I broke out the journal one day and I began the journal, I realized there's so much more out there. And I asked myself, who am I? All these gifts that I've been told about, why am I only using these in my limited scope of responsibility, which varies. Sometimes I might be responsible for 1,200 Marines. Sometimes it might be a few hundred. But there's so much more out there if I'm just willing to step out. Wow. I mean, you said you accomplished so many goals and now you want to go to the next level. So I'm so excited to hear about the next level because you've accomplished so much. And I mean, a colonel, okay. That's amazing. And I have not seen you in your uniform yet with all your medals and decorations, but a colonel guys, that's amazing. And so we're so grateful that you're still happy and honored to serve. And you have this disposition that you want to give back by helping others. And so we're so excited to hear further from you. But at this time, we are going to take a one minute break and we'll be right back with Joseph Delaney. Colonel Joseph Delaney. Aloha. Thanks to our ThinkTech underwriters and grand tours, the Atherton Family Foundation, Carol Monli and the Friends of ThinkTech, the Center for Microbial Oceanography Research and Education, collateral analytics, the Cook Foundation, Dwayne Kurisu, the Hawaii Community Foundation, the Hawaii Council of Associations of Abarbon Owners, Hawaii Energy, the Hawaii Energy Policy Forum, Hawaiian Electric Company, Integrated Security Technologies, Galen Ho of BAE Systems, Kamehameha Schools, MW Group, the Shidler Family Foundation, the Sydney Stern Memorial Trust, Volo Foundation, Yuriko J. Sugimura. Thanks so much to you all. Oh, and welcome back. Wow, so much honor in this room and integrity. I'm so excited and honored to have Colonel Joseph Delaney with us today as he shares his life experiences from a 17-year-old young man joining the Marine Corps and now 26 plus years. He was as excited as he was when he signed up and wanting to give back a little bit more with all those years of experience. He wants to now lead others in a different way and so we're gonna come back with Joseph and learn more about that with him. So what is the number one thing a mentor can assist with? When it is so much. And I thought about this. If I had to boil it down to one thing, I would say perspective. When we wake up every morning, we look in the mirror and people see all of their scars, they see all their faults, they see everything that they've struggled with throughout their life. They look in the mirror and they begin, I'm too fat, I'm too slow, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. When they wake up every morning at about 3.59 right before my long clock goes off, I grab my phone, I turn my long clock off and I walk over to my mirror and this is serious. I've had to learn this and it begins every morning and I begin with my affirmation statement and it goes, I am just a portion of it. I love myself and have everything that I need just the way that I am. I'm spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically strong. I'm an amazing father and leader. And it goes on and on. But the point is I had to learn that a mentor can help with that. I have people that told me, you need to do this. You need to read this book. You need to do these affirmation statements. I didn't figure that out on my own. It's too easy to allow the negativity of the world to just take over. There's so much positivity out there but it has to be deliberate. It has to be intentional. Right, absolutely. And you know, that's key. Everything that comes out of our mouth, I mean, even for myself, you know, I've learned to actually I do a lot of this. Immentally I do this, meaning Wendy stop, don't say that. How can we see it that would be more effective or more positive? So I myself am trying to self-coach and understand the impact of what I say. And so it's been an experience and a journey that it's so powerful because people always say, wow, how do you see that when I see this? Yes. Right, isn't that exciting? Right, yes. And you must get that all the time. I do. I do. And it's hard. You gotta go against everything else that you're hearing this negative. And there's a lot out there, as you said. So you know, when we spoke and again, when I saw you on Facebook launching a mentoring and so passionate about it, as I said, I just wanted to have you on so that you could share more of this. But your vision to become a life coach, I mean, lots of times we have all this experience and we're just gonna keep it within and mentor our girls and our families and our friends around us. But being a titled life coach, that's a big responsibility. So can you tell us how that differs from being a mentor and what someone should look for in either one that they choose? Absolutely, they can be the same thing. A life coach is someone who finally has established a business. They have a framework, usually somebody who is designed or dedicated to helping people establish a vision, affirmations, goals, and action steps. A mentor can do the same thing. I have a passion to do both. But for me, mentorship is more personal. If I'm mentoring you, I need to know about you. I need to know what your passions are, who your family is, what drives you, what keeps you up at night, what scares you. What are the things that you wanna achieve out of life? Otherwise, I can't mentor you unless I'm gonna be an episodic mentor. Maybe because of one aspect of your life that you see and you wanna be like me in that one aspect. We can talk in that area, but for me to mentor you as a lifestyle mentor or even as a coach, I wanna have a personal effect. I wanna have a personal relationship with you. A coach might be someone you're just paying for a brief period of time to help you overcome a hurdle, but that mentorship is personal. And that's what I love about it. So ideally, I wanna have a balance of both. And I have coaches in my life who have now become mentors and friends. There's also an evolution to that process as well. Oh, and I believe the key to this whole relationship is trust. Yes. Because when you sit down with them and some people have such darkness within, and that's inhibiting them from maxing out who God created them to be. And so until you can get that trust that they feel comfortable enough with you, so that they can unleash, we call them the aces, the adverse childhood experiences. And even if you're a kid or if you're a 60-year-old grandma or grandpa, we still have these little dark spots until we can develop or unleash them. It's always gonna inhibit us from being the best we can be. And that's the negativity that people speak about through their, when they speak on or to others, it's from themselves that they see darkness. And so that's the whole thing. That's powerful. So that you need to trust how that relationship so that they can feel comfortable to let that out for you. And then you can start doing your little healing. It's a lot for them to be for someone you're mentoring or coaching to be vulnerable. Oh, yes. So as a mentor or a coach, what do you want from a mentee or a client? And that begins with vulnerability, but the number one thing is honesty. And that honesty will lead to vulnerability that will foster that trust that you were just talking about. There's so much more. I want a mentor just to believe, believe in me. I, they don't have to believe in themselves yet. I will help them over those hurdles or whoever they're asking to mentor them a life coach. Just believe in them, but know why they're signing up with that mentor and know why they're signing up with that coach. It's not a monetary thing, it's a relationship. I tell people all the time, if they want me to mentor them, let's build a relationship, let's talk, let's have a cup of coffee and let's find out what you're struggling with in life. People are hurting out there. Oh, yes. And that's what you were talking about. People are trying to figure out how do they take their relationships to the next level? How do they be better in their career? How do they be better at their sport activities? And everyone has that potential. I can see that beauty and love in everyone, but not everyone is using it. Exactly, and then I think, I feel you can even voluntarily go to different companies that have a lot of staffing under them and work with that general manager or the manager in charge, because once you get to work and mentor him, then he can be a on-the-job site mentor and put into practice all the things that you shared with him. He can put into practice and actually self-coming coach and mentor his staff and employees. He might not be able to send everyone to you, but as long as you and him have that relationship and trust, that means all the tools that you've given him, you would now go to the workplace and use it to coach and manage his team. Do you agree with this? I do, I love that idea. Yeah, and I think that would be one of your, not targets, but your client base. Go from the top and then work down. And then yes, they like what they're seeing from their boss who hadn't had those skills before. And then he goes, yeah, I've been working with this guy named Joseph and he's really made an impact in my life. And they might say, well, you know what? I think I might need to have a session or two with him as well and build a relationship. So I too, because I see the difference in you, boss. And I like what I see. I appreciate that. So I think that might be a really good avenue for you to go down. I'm just trying to enjoy life and help people. Yeah, and I can see that in the smile in your face, on your face. And even the smile that your eyes are smiling. Yeah, so you also mentioned your vision of being a motivational speaker and author. I know you love reading books, so you probably have put the pen to the paper and written a few things up to this point in your life. But how does this support your goal of coaching and mentoring? Neither one of those were actually originally my goals. They were spoken to me over many years and I finally embraced them. What I realized is when you look at books like Thinking Girl Rich or The Power of Positive Thinking or It's Not Over Until I Win, some of my favorite authors, Napoleon Hill, Les Brown, they touched the world. Decades after those books were written, they are still touching people. If you read those books and you really get into what those books are about, they didn't write those books to get a book deal. That's not what those books are about. They are about changing lives. They are about telling the story and helping people truly look in the mirror and see what everyone else sees. See the positivity in their life, see what's possible. And just dream bigger and actually achieve their dreams. It's too many unhappy people in the world. Yes, way too many. We have to do this. And you can see the evidence of that in the news and what they're reporting in the news. And so there's so much work to be done by mentors and life coaches like yourself. But we just have to try and embrace as many people along the way because you just don't know who that troubled person is. So if you had to recommend one book to our audience, what would that book be that if I were not an avid reader I would pick up that book and I would be like, wow, that truly impacted my life. What book would that if there is one book you recommend? Well, it depends on the day of the week. Today I would actually recommend Love and Respect. Love and Respect is a book about relationship, not necessarily intimate relationships, not necessarily husband and wife, but about men and women about the different people in your life. I actually just did a video on books and there's so many I enjoy and I can go on and on, but today I'll leave it at Love and Respect. Guys, heard that? That's Oprah's book choice. Joseph Oprah's book choice. So what is your biggest challenge and how would you recommend other people approach life, challenges and to stay optimistic? I get in trouble for this one. Okay, well, let's get you in trouble. My daughters actually say I'm too positive and they've seen me reading the Power of Positive thinking one of my other favorites on Good the Great or Seven Habits, so you name it. And they realize where a lot of that comes from. And the reality is you have to choose joy every day. I talked about my affirmation and my affirmation is not optional, but there are days when all I can do is slide out of bed and get on my knees because that's where I need to be. Exactly. And I understand that and that's okay. I've learned that sometimes not being okay is exactly where I need to be and accepting that, but life will be bumpy. Right. Today I woke up and my 13-year-old Jailer told me about the project she had due today at school. So I'm running around the house grabbing stuff. There were numerous conflicts that came up and that's okay. We chose joy. We went outside and it was pouring down rain, but you know what? We live in Hawaii. There's gonna be a rainbow. And that's the way life is. You might be on a detour for a day, a week, a month, a couple years, but when that detour is over, you get back on track. You get in the mirror. You practice those affirmations and you choose joy. Wow, powerful. So what is the one thing you want people to walk away with above anything else from today's talk? Today are worthy of more. They absolutely are. They were designed for more. They were not designed to be broken. They are definitely worthy of the best that life has to offer. Yes. And if they go through the course of the day with that thought in their mind, they will be more and they will be their best. Absolutely. Yes, and so that's very powerful. I mean, you should make a T-shirt and then a bumper sticker and then a hat. No, no. That's very encouraging and positive, powerful thinking. That's where we need to be more and more today. Otherwise, our news just gets filled with more and more of sadness and sorrow and I just pray that we could just fill it with more joy and happiness and good life stories. And so Joseph, our time has come to an end. Your positiveness, your willingness to share and your desire to serve our country in the capacity that you've done. So we really, really truly appreciate you and we're honored to have you here on the show and just continue your positiveness as you mentor your girls, as you mentor your men and women and other men and women of the community. So we mahalo you. Mahalo. Yes, and so thank you, guest. Aloha.