 I have chased after kids who don't believe that I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. You wanna check? Your father is a very old friend. I don't believe you. Leia. I am! I am Obi-Wan Kenobi! As they run away. Mommy, it's not him at all! So, here we are. Episode 4. It's always such a pleasure. 3. Alright. It's episode 3. Not even that bad. Don't jump the gun. Idiot. I haven't got a gun. Fuck the dollar. Wait, wait. I do have many guns. I have a gun next to me right now. What does that even mean? Jumping a gun. Don't jump it. I think a gun would be pretty easy to jump. Yeah. Why can't I jump? It would be pretty easy to jump. Put it on the floor. Look, I'm just saying. The gun isn't loaded. I think I can jump it. Even if it was loaded. I feel my friend. You should believe in me. I think I can do it. I'm the same. Be careful, that's all. Doesn't apply to just anything that I'm doing. What's so dangerous about jumping over a gun? I'm the same. Be careful. It's like a threat. I don't know. Yeah, I'm starting to think you're evil. You're the doxide. Wow. Yeah. It becomes so obvious. So, yeah, you know, all of you out there listening, you're probably like, woohoo, another episode of this awesome show. And we're like, oh no, I'd rather kill myself. But here we are. We have criticism to discuss. And just some clarification as well. When you edit these things, you're like, oh wow, we didn't even talk about this thing because we're too busy talking about another thing. And so it's just some stuff that I was curious to talk to you guys about, you know, before we start this one up, whatever fucking is coming. So we kind of went over it, but it was just to clarify, right? Like the whole force mental grabby flumes. I actually saw some people discussing this and they were like, Vader used it on Luke in Return of the Jedi. So it was the OT that established force mind grab feelings thing. And I was like, oh yeah, technically that does happen when Luke is like, he's trying to hide from Vader. If you guys remember Return of the Jedi and Vader's all. Oh well. But yeah, he pulls his sister from his thoughts. Your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for sister. Which is like, see, so they can do it. And I was just like, I feel like that these were presented in very different dynamics. I think it helps Return of the Jedi that Vader and Luke have been around each other for a decent amount of time at that point. So that, I don't know, he's just trying to tap into whatever he's got there, which seems to me like an extension detecting people in general who have like force flumes, or at least people you care about a lot. You know, there's a couple of things that are kind of hard to define, but Force Awakens went as far as basically just saying, it is a move you can do and you will pull out specific information. Going out the Luke has a sister that he cares about, I think is a lot more vague than the location of the plans to the whatever it was, the map to Luke Skywalker and BB-8, he's like, he knows exactly what that is. And then this of course has a pull out exactly where Kenobi is or has been sent from the guy who so very fucking kindly offered his mind to Riva. If we throw out the criticism then, that Vader should have used it on Leia when he met her in A New Hope, which I still think is valid, but fine if we throw that out. It still destroys this show. Being the Riva should have been using this, and Quasar should have been using this on everybody. It doesn't make any sense anymore at all. It would have been really useful. Fuck it, it would be dead. It feels like an extension of the same power, right? If it is the same power, it feels like, oh you're just doing it much better than Vader did it. So if we just accept that Riva is much better than Vader, then yeah. Fine, fine. On those little top trump cards, I think Rey is considered way more powerful than Luke and Vader. I mean, yeah. I've seen the films. Riva, Riva, Rey. It's all, it's R words when they start with the R words. Rey the Skywalker. No, no, don't say the R words. Not the hard R's. Rey Tard? No. So you guys remember what scares off Leia in this really stupid scene where she escapes a Kenobi? Do you remember what it was? Yeah, that guy is a bounty hunter. He's seen his bounty, then bumps right into a Kenobi. Really dumb, but when he's down, his thing just activates for no reason at all. Why is there a picture of you? And for some reason Obi-Wan, because he's very canonically a very unintelligent character, can't think of any way to rationalize that to Leia. And so Leia concludes, she literally says, and I can't believe it because I really didn't take this in the first time, she says, You were hiding. You're the reason I'm here. They took me to get to you. And I was like, how the fuck did she figure that out? Like from him being a bounty for people, especially when he's just counter-kidnapped a princess. You have things like, that's good enough reason alone for having a bounty established on him. He's gonna have pissed off loads of people. But he doesn't try to explain anything in any way. She just says that. And the crazy thing is, she's right. That is what's happening. But there's just no way she could possibly know that. And then of course, that's enough reason for her to run away. When it's like, wait a minute, why would that make you want to run away? He still seems to be trying to rescue you. You're in the same boat. If they find you. Yeah, if you are correct and he is getting captured or they're using you to get to him, they still want to be with him because otherwise you'd be in a prison. Very selective childhood stupidness. That's what the conversation has become about Leia that I've seen in some threads where it's like people can't handle that he's an intelligent character. She always has been. But she's not though. Also she's 10, so let's calm the fuck down. I think I saw a thread where someone said that quote-unquote canonically she got her PhD at 19 and was a senator and whatever. Which is different than being 10. I know, I know. And it's different than being smart. The reason why it's annoying is because the character is simultaneously smart and stupid when the plot needs her to be. Would we be happy if any really smart character reached that conclusion that quickly? Because I don't think we would. It's not even about being smart. There's no way she can conclude what she concludes through critical thinking because she hasn't got the component she needs. Exactly. Wouldn't this make sense if she's read the script? Yes. That's what I mean. The discussion is about is she in character and a lot of people are like, yes she is. She was always clever and the response is just she ain't clever so you can't even use that. She's only as clever as she needs to be to make things happen. Really clever when she jumped off the fucking building. I don't know how in character someone needs to be as a child. Exactly. I agree. They made it really bratty. I don't think they realized Leia was a lot of fun and she would snap back at people who were treating her as though she wouldn't be able to hold her own sort of thing. It's not a matter of just if you remember there's this part where he says our story is that we're from this planet you're my daughter and then she's like granddaughter maybe and it drives me nuts watching it so she really doesn't grasp that she's been kidnapped from her family led to a different planet they are currently under watch from everybody in this city and they can be shot at any moment and you might be like it's just a little bit of levity out of character you should be terrified she's a ten year old levity is the only funny when it's in character sometimes something can be funny just because it's really in character and you're like hey that is what they want I guess my point is you can find it funny but it's annoying me because it's not how she should be behaving Leia's not a bitch I don't find it funny because it's out of character I don't find it funny because it's weird coming from this creature Crips are always way funnier if you understand the character and how the character arrived at saying it if it is believably a thing that that person would say when they feel artificial and fake it drains the comedy appeal that they might have and part of what pisses me off about it is that it undermines Kenobi's journey here he's sacrificing mostly every piece of safety he has and his coverage of the boy he needs to take care of in order to have witty comebacks from this annoying girl that he's trying to sacrifice everything for it really fucks with me he's like daughter and father from this planet anyone asks we're hiding and then she's like you're old tell me man you guys know about it this thing is referenced a lot when I'm talking to the FNT guys but when they were doing the witcher season 2 the horse roaches dies as a scene for that and apparently the writer wanted it to have some jokes in it and Henry Cavill said no good on Henry it seems like not terrible oh that's nice come on you Henry I'm sitting here like oh man Ewan McGregor is executive producer and I'm pretty sure he'll defend the shit out of every choice made for writing on this that's a shame but you go ahead I want to destroy my own character hell yeah let's go the only other thing I wanted to talk about was and this is just going to stretch everyone's knowledge of the OT including myself Anakin, Skywalker, Darth Vader would you have guessed that was public knowledge or not from the OT not no I would have thought not the problem is I don't think I have anything in stone to argue that I would have just assumed right I'm trying to think of all the references because you know Tarkin knows that Vader is a remnant of the Jedi doesn't ever refer to him as Anakin well he would probably think that of Palpatine but he'd never say it to his face maybe yeah you could be right that the Sith must be a corruption of the Jedi and Tarkin would be familiar with the Jedi for how old he is I would have assumed that it would be one of those known secrets those things that like most people or at least a lot of people assume to be true but there is no confirmation of it and it's kind of kept sort of hush the good man who was your father was destroyed I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker my father that name no longer has any meaning for me it is the name of your true self you've only forgotten we're gonna probably get a flashback to explain how Riva knows and so if that's that then I guess cause this is the thing that we covered it we were just like how in the fuck would she know a nobie one doesn't how have we gotten to this point where he's the one that delivers that information to him I guess cause it really was a completely hidden secret except she knew because of something that's gonna have happened when we get another flashback presumably at some point with the Order 66 shit I don't know cause he would know that Darth Vader is still around surely and he knew that Anakin was he knew that didn't he he knew Anakin was the emperor's right hand man but he thought he was dead but the only question I have is isn't that recording that's what I'm saying I thought that was a recording when he's like you shall henceforth be known as Darth Vader like I thought he knew that no that's everyone's not in that scene he's bowing to yeah but he doesn't say you shall henceforth be known as the Vader when I think he's just as well done Lord Vader which is enough and also even if you didn't have that it's like man who is this like mysterious incredibly powerful force user cause Darth Vader would be known as an entity surely it's his job to be known what I mean is Darth Vader the figure would be known in the galaxy would be one would have enough information to know that Darth Vader is Anakin like I don't think it would be a surprise to him that he's alive I always so I'm looking to go further than the inference and yeah I just checked the script it can't be it can't be you have done well because now Lord Vader go and bring peace to the empire I can't watch anymore Obi-Wan heard that so yeah I will not kill Anakin twisted by the dark side young Skywalker has become the boy you've trained gone he is consumed by Darth Vader so what that means to accept in this show is that he's never heard of Darth Vader which is absurd no way no way he doesn't know well it's impossible I'm not even going to say it's a contrivance impossible that Bale Organa did not tell Obi-Wan about any of this yeah Bale's on the senate he knows about Vader alternatively that if he hadn't heard it from Bale that he wouldn't have just heard it anyway like what I'm saying about how it's an impossibility otherwise we have to believe that he just never heard and I guess they get no news out there and nobody talks about anything yes he must have been living under a rock ohhhh oh yeah I'm pretty sure this can't work it's a reveal well to be fair like if someone said to me we're gonna I don't even like the way it was revealed the fact that Riva shouts it at Obi-Wan that's lame he's alive Obi-Wan yeah actually yeah Anakin Skywalker is alive yeah cause I was about to say the ways we could do it I guess you didn't know where are you this is a great reveal Revealio that's the Harry Potter thing probably I'm gonna stab a guy and it's not you that's the spell that makes someone's hands fall down I have seen loads of people arguing over whether or not the Grand Inquis is dead it's quite funny nobody knows that's hilarious because now he appears after this in Rebels you're not going near it I believe I am that's just the writing now we saw someone get stabbed straight through the chest with a lightsaber and fall to the ground and we're just like well we don't even know if he's dead we have no idea what the stakes are when it comes to life and death anymore I saw someone defending this decision with hey people as in like hey people are complaining that he has to be a life of Rebels but this is Star Wars people survived getting sliced in half how about survive getting blown up I'm sure you're speaking positively they are great anyway I imagine when we record for episode 4 that'll be the longest one because I'll have even more clarifications I want to go through and we'll have a first common showcase in a while in fact this is a comment that I saw not from many of our videos but from the comment section under I think it was real BBC and I was like you know what I wouldn't mind reading this out this is pretty funny this is how it goes Reaver I need a kidnap layer to draw out Kenobi because of an offscreen super tenuous connection that Bale has with this fugitive Jedi that I'll use in the hope it draws him out all of this relies on the idea that Bale knows where Kenobi is can contact him and Kenobi will respond also Reaver can force suck information out of people and never thinks to apply this power to Bale or Ghana Anakin is alive has no idea Vader is Anakin doesn't know anything completely lost also Kenobi is in open communication with Bale or Ghana for important things Bale or Ghana sorry sorry the plot that's just a Disney plot also Kenobi is in open communication with Bale or Ghana for important things Bale or Ghana who is according to Disney's own canon at this point the leader of the rebel alliance and knows about Darth Vader the leader of the rebel alliance who is by the way regularly working with sorry I was in two pieces I'll not forgive you with an actual black ops Jedi named Ahsoka Tano who could totally track down Leia kill the kidnappers who has a live action counterpart but he doesn't mention her at all but I don't know maybe Obi-Wan would like to know his brother's former apprentice survives 66 and maybe that'll be something or Ghana would share but no Obi-Wan knows nothing because why would he fuck this show is broken so just getting to the point when I read this I was like man I'm not even able to keep track of how many things are breaking because there's just so many things happening at once in this timeline like Ahsoka Tano she's not going to be mentioned at all no she won't pop up even though she was his apprentice canonically yeah Obi-Wan probably doesn't know she exists unless they decide he does well Obi-Wan must know that she exists because they interact with each other all the time not until they decide he does that's the thing that's like at this point because I remember it was like wait where does all of this fit in the timeline who is around who's active now like what organizations are and where are they they don't remember their own timeline at this stage we're not at the point because normally we talk about oh they just do the things and then whatever comes after me that's for the other ones to figure out but now we start in between things and they don't figure out anything that comes after all before or in between or in their own show it's like oh we're just going to do stuff they legitimately forget people who would have to be around at this point and who would be relevant to the storyline and they invent brand new people that we've never seen or heard of before and desperately hope they can get rid of them and their impact on the story before it gets to the timeline we're familiar with where they don't have any impact on it's like the book of Ashanti or Vishanti it doesn't even matter the magic good book introduce it, get rid of it and the same thing despite its impact on the multiverses introduce it, get rid of it close that loop so yeah I just find it hilarious there's all these different reasons for why everything's fucked and we've got more and remember this is the same thing that happens with every Disney show it'll get worse as we go it always does even if there's no canon surrounding this no prequels, no OT, no anything else this show is already deteriorating completely it's drawn out and complicated and cringe this couldn't they must have batted around a bunch of ideas but they settled for this yeah I guess it literally was just somebody's random idea that they just had and they went with it should we discuss other ideas? no this is perfect what are you talking about? it might be that it's the whole committee thing there are loads of people pushing for certain things like how to give them all their way we don't know what Frankenstein process they used to make these you know what people want to see? a 10 year old Leia not make her a bitch anyway you guys want to start it up? no let's do it no none of us are on board 3, 2, 1 wait are you ready? wait now I've got to go back ready then 3, 2, 1 go the go I'm going to miss the grinding quiz apparently that lady who gave him the drugs is Euron McGreg's Euron McGreg his real life taught it that's neat remember imagine if we hadn't we didn't have those silly outfits and they purposefully blended into crowds and you didn't know it was them so they were hunting you down but they looked like normal people they have a character that's connected to the OT and the prequels, an actor who's more than willing and ready and they didn't make movies out of him I think this is basically confirmation that show is more profitable for them now that's what it is I think they're leaning a lot more into shows now I wonder if we'll be seeing any more movies ah yeah we are I'll talk to Wattiti's next alright and because of the pacing they'll be fighting with each other long before this episode probably will be like the third act oh do you think Darth Vader will take his helmet off no they're not loud this is a little bit worried not gonna lie I'm weird unlike you guys, I like Vader a lot Darth Vader is really fucking cool and I don't like him when they ruin things it's just not preferable they'll have you considered liking it it's a children role you're a children alright we're off to a good start nothing makes no sense yet they haven't screwed up before yet okay if someone who knows about floors is there anything wrong with this floor maybe this is a design that we can always have well so something I would say is if he's kneeling on this with his knees it's probably gonna hurt with all of the rates he's probably actually doing that though yeah sure I'm just saying it would hurt a little bit he's using the tuck sci-fi kneeling on this floor he's definitely gonna shop in this it'd be really funny if he doesn't is that Chewbacca? oh it's Reaver he's alive Obi-Wan he screamed no the first scene is going to establish what we just saw in the last episode you don't need the flashback if the first scene is like hey remember last episode there he is not fair there's so much potential we're not going to get a show that focuses on the character of him learning to overcome any sense of guilt that he has and moving forward with his life people will claim that's what this show does yeah they will claim that look how they claimed about Boba Fett that's about as much as they could possibly do and you know they wanted more without the helmet on I don't think they should have showed his face they really shouldn't have well dude if people watch this chronologically getting his face reveal is crazy important in the OT well I think they don't make these at this point thinking that people will watch chronologically they're fully aware of the matter oh boy Mustafar Mustafar wait did he build a temple on the planet where he melted we knew this we knew this this is something that they established back in Rise of Skywalker I think it's a nice CGI temple he got this is that understood is he I have been watching you the sister I'm just trying the problem is I'm trying to figure it out because it's like his voice is so different now prove yourself and the position of Grand Inquisitor is yours yeah they don't care about you like they cared about him didn't one of us say should have killed you they're gonna make up the Mandalorian rules he killed the biggest one now you are the biggest one he'll stab you in the face well she'll be killed before then anyway sorry when was it established that he had a castle on the planet where he melted well so this is the thing that could be it could have been that it was the same thing and extended but I'm pretty sure what a great view the lore for Rise of Skywalker says that one of the waypoint finder things is on Mustafar because it's Vader's temple it's been established in like wider media for ages but I don't know if it's been established I think it's pretty cringe whoever came up with it well I just find it funny that you would build a temple on the planet where like you melted it's a weird thing to do but you know it's what he wanted to do well people would say like it's a Sith thing to focus on his pain and anguish so I think it's safe to say that we're gonna get that helmet off pretty quick then why would you credit Hayden Christensen for being back if it's going to be James Earl Jones voice cool flashbacks maybe they will they could also have Obi-Wan like have visions or something maybe but I think they're going to take the helmet off actually you fixed her great you fixed the robot yay thank goodness they're bonding now whereas they weren't before I like this little thing about the light and the forest how does it feel like have you ever been afraid of the dark how does it feel when you turn on the light it feels safe it feels like that we're on approach we're on a ship Obi-Wan sometimes I wonder I wonder how long they were on their way here that's an odd ship they don't really know where they're going I don't know where they're going I don't think just go here and talk to LumberCon hi this is a mining planet look at all those mining hills there's no road down there why would you land here there is no road there maybe they get on another ship everyone gets a complimentary parachute great equippy robot take the helmet off no it's helmets on that can't be matched the ship was a lot smaller than I thought it was I thought that ship was a lot bigger than that good yeah you know what behaviors though you don't want to be seen by people I would prefer that it's refreshing compared to the last episode well I'm sure they'll be dead in no time they're walking there I guess they just walked on do you guys have food in water they have a... why would he lie she's asking you because you have no reason to think he's lying he hasn't lied so far was that supposed to be like him tapping his feelings about Anakin or something there's a bit over the top why did anyone ever support the empire we're never going to get that we're never going to get that they paid lip service to that in Mando and they didn't have the balls to even begin to actually talk about that why would the empire ravage a planet though yeah like don't they want to make money from it and support it do they mind it is that the idea who's that oh there you go it's Hayden Christiansen he's spooky he's a spooky ghost there you go visions you just hear a distant lion you're not calling him Mr. Kenobi it seems like the thing where you call him Mr. Kenobi he's like no just call me Ben but they just skip that it's so sinister it's God's butt blood and do you build like normal buildings no oh hello yeah why not let's see more of what she's up to anyone going to be upset you step that other Grand Inquisitor no no just lying there in the planet she can um she can blame Obi-Wan surely that's how she'd get out of it why did you build a base here this is ludicrous why not rags water is fun just to build a base in space in a volcano or underwater right this is like the evil trope he's in one of the mining systems you do not know that I trace the manifest we should send out all remaining probes oh you can just do that I assume that you actually can do that yet how do you guys maintain any level of order within your organization if they fight like this all the time that seat is mine why aren't you sitting in it then bitch I just spoke with Lord Vader you spoke to him yourself he asked me to leave the hut oh I just believe you man can you imagine one of those fishes just decided to swim by like what are you talking about here buddies like what's going on guys just imagine Obi-Wan swinging by like send out the probes do it she just said oh I talked to Vader I'm in charge now how does this military function do you not have like orders that you issue out like is there an email if you kill the general you become the general oh it's like Chronicles of Riddick you have a lot of probes you should be sending out a lot of these why wouldn't this just be the first thing you do they're gonna have to get into hyperspace right you can't just they're very slow maybe I can't talk or I don't like talk this is it this is where he told us to come to we discussed our backstory literally as we arrived maybe it was a lie bro you just got here no one is coming here Leia what look around look we use your eyes give them at least an hour well if we're on our own we're gonna need some help what are you doing okay yeah nobody's coming I guess we just know this is true nobody's coming we have to look around we have to see if there's like something here so if anybody does show up for you guys now 5 minutes Leia that's just it nice who's this dredge guy what's up buddy this is my front my father this is my father we're farmers from talk hey there I'm Frank he is look at the mole man hello why are you letting her do the talking we got a bit turned around we're looking for the nearest port we need to get home well I'm going that way jump in oh no that's alright thank you we just need directions come on father we've walked long enough thanks Frank why are you deciding everything why are you letting her yeah you don't say no to this child you don't say anything and then like 5 seconds later she just let her do all the talking no no no no you get out of that cool yeah right cool alright well if you needed more of a reason but okay is that supposed to be like he's not empire affiliated he's just like flying maybe he's working for them what if he's like a fucking empire transport thing like what if this is delivering to the empire good people that are tall they pay their way listen to the empire I know that voice nice to meet like minded folk nothing wrong with the little order right they ravaged your planet yeah they did ravage our unfortunate oh no they're out in the field there are these four random stars in the field it's over oh we just been a whole day ravaging and boy are we tired meet my new friends hey is that Obi-Wan Kenobi what the fuck how would they not be made aware of they must know surely he would be the number one target at this point they must be aware of Obi-Wan Kenobi this show doesn't have the balls to make them like nice and approachable hi there citizen how are you no they'll be evil rex evil evil evil evil evil evil what what hope Jedi out here I hope we're not in any danger they didn't tell us what he looked like is this like an episode of archer this is a joke you're looking for possible Jedi in the area I haven't seen any Jedi uh no we'll find them we always do he kinda looks like this guy we're looking for them Jedi How do you dress exactly how Jedi always dressed? Well don't take this the wrong way, but the reason I stopped you is because you're dressed exactly like a Jedi, like all of them. It's weird how your face looks like the guy that, man, we're trying to find. That's kind of weird. Have you seen any guys who look exactly like you because we're looking for one? Every single one of them dress exactly the way you're dressed now. Look, I'm not a Jedi. God, tell me this guy doesn't look like a Jedi. Yeah, yeah, he's got the robes. Yeah, yeah, the robes. Do you a minor? No, I'm not a minor. She's a minor. They know that he's got a little girl with him too. That's a long story. It's a long way. Yeah, that's true. God, he brought me here. He brought me here to see the place where he had my mother. Oh, thank goodness she can make up for his failings. Oh, great. For she. She's not with us anymore. It'll be a very difficult time. I'm sorry to hear that. The Empire is working hard to place things around. What about you? Do you have any information about a Jedi? I wouldn't know when if I saw one. Haven't heard anything. Are you sure he's even on this planet? They know what they're doing, Leia. Oh, come on. How incompetent do you want to make him? Are you serious? That was her mother's name. Oh, fuck off. What is this? They know that Leia is missing. Like I said, it's not been easy. Sometimes when I look at Luma, I see her mother's face. Uh-huh. Do you see how this looks to us, sir? Are you telling me you woke up today and accidentally dressed like a Jedi? Yes. See, this is the moment where it's like they've made him incredibly stupid, but they make the Stormtroopers even stupider in order for this to work. It's like a contest. Hey, you say you're not a Jedi? I have to believe you. I mean, there's nothing I can do. If you happen to see one, just find one of us and let us know, okay? Well, it's keep your eyes open. Report it if you see anything. Of course. Yeah, okay. Yeah, fuck off. Oh my god. Who fucking wrote this shit, man? This is so embarrassing. This is us! Did you just say it was a long way? There was like two minutes. I was like... All over France, we just saw an unravaged field. We got to show them how safe we are in our little house over there. Yeah, it's a long walk. Oof, that was close. Good thing we managed to talk our way out of that. I wish I wouldn't be so fucking retarded. Can't believe we got a layer. What a fucking mup. You know, if there is a rebellion in the future, they're not going to have any problems at all. I'm going to be honest. All right, take care, guys. You have a nice day. You have a nice day. The whole time I've known you, you've been hiding something. Oh, shut up. Yeah, you just met and he's a fucking Jedi. This is the most shallow shit. I think they mean anything other than what they're saying here. You mean, hey, here are my... Here are the feelings that I'm supposed to be saying. It's really quiet on the back of this thing. Are they suggesting he's hiding the fact that her father is Anakin or Vader? I assume they're also doing different parallels to Padme. I swear to God, they better not have that be revealed to her. His Jedi were taken from our families when we were very young. Is there someone that likes the Empire? Flash is my mother's shaw. Just saying. Yeah, I guess you can't hear them. Hey, it's not super quiet in the back of this open top thing. I think it's fine. If he's not in frame, he doesn't exist. That's true. Fine, fair enough. They are, isn't it crazy that we're on the run? What'd you say they're a partner? I meant Lola. I meant Loba. I meant Lorba. I went Lumbo. I'll stand and inspect him. I'll find his light side, Michelle Lee, right? Well, yeah, then he'd be done. He's already done it now. He should be done already. So it doesn't fucking matter, I guess. Remember why he's on this transport? It's just because he refused to say no to Leo and... Well, he refused to wait for his actual contact. The child is getting on. I've got to get on, too. A couple of strays, I found. Oh, shit, he's evil. All right. It doesn't matter. Why are you putting your hood up? At this point, they're going to want to see your face or whatever. I'm going to try to put it earlier. That makes you look more suspicious. Yep. Hey, you look like a dick. That's me in the outpost today. Where are you headed? Back to Toll. We have family here. We were visiting. All right, step out of the three. How long until this is over? They should have been caught 10 times by now. I'm sure the Sturmtroopers will be dead in no time. Oh, yeah, I don't think they're going to be shit. What? Sturmtroopers are never shit. I'd be happy to see Obi-Wan beat some Sturmtroopers. OK, yeah, it's over. There's no fucking way now. Literal probe droid. Probe him, probe droid. What a thing that is. Oh, no. I said, raise your head. He's doing well as well. Laying it only makes it worse. Oh, he's reaching for it. They can see you reaching for that. Yeah. What are they doing? They both would have shot him when he did that, but never mind. It's one on a tower like all the way up there. It's like a clear shot. Oh, wow. He didn't do it. Wow, Obi-Wan. I don't feel that tactic, to be honest. Holy fuck. Why? That's the most violent thing they've ever shown. I'm going to be honest, yeah. I'm not comfortable with him using a meat shield for a guy he did not know he was going to see. Yeah, I am not OK with that, Obi-Wan. I think that's the only reason that they established he was like pro-empire or something. Yeah, but Obi-Wan didn't know that. Let it go. You fucking shit. What? Did that just happen? That is insanely irresponsible. He could have killed it. You could have easily killed her. Just use the force to stop him pulling the trigger, you filthy cowboy Jesus looking fuck. I don't know, man. Just walk around the hill. What? How could I have walked around it? Shoot them, shoot them, shoot them, shoot them, shoot them. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Shoot again, shoot more, shoot. Shoot them now. Any more. Here's three. You do have a lightsaber, my dude. He has a force. He killed five. He's still holding the gun. They haven't made him drop the gun. He killed five. This is three. He still has the gun. What is happening? Oh, she's probably going to save them. He's still holding the gun. Yeah, yeah. Why is it happening? I'm the spy. I'm the spy. I'm the spy. Man, thanks for not meeting me out there in the field. Well, then again, he could have waited. I mean, he wasn't waiting. He literally didn't wait more than a minute. And then she managed to get ahead of all of this to save him. That's incredible. It's not hard. It's one blast of all. Okay, thanks. I can't believe this shit, man. All that's so garbage. He's so funny. He's so funny. Most appreciative. He was most appreciative. She should say, like, do you ever realize what you're wearing? Just like, didn't you talk like that? You talked like this when you were wearing? Anything. Nobody wants to say anything about your hat. But I will. Do you keep things in that hat? It's not raining. It's not raining. All right, so all that was stupid, but at least now this is happening. I was on my way when the probes arrived, but you'd already gone. I hadn't expected anyone to come. Yeah, good job, everyone. Had you just stayed there? I could see it. You wouldn't have wanted all that. I get you to the port. There's a pilot who's agreed to take you, but he's not scheduled to leave for a few hours, so we need to lay low. Right here. Scheduled or scheduled in Star Wars? It is scheduled in Star Wars. I mean, she's compromised, right? They would have known that she went out with a... Yeah, victory is done, yeah. It's annoying. It's weird that you just have an officer hanging out alone. That's weird. Especially when she's doing suspicious things, like looking around. There's Gowery and Jeff. Nobody cares about Stormtroopers. It doesn't matter. Yeah, they're not people. We'll make it out. They didn't do it. They didn't mean to run away. She's pissed herself. She used to do it all the time. Oh, wow, they're giving it this now. It's weird that this hits here. That's what I was going to say. That came out of nowhere. This is something you should have started earlier. It's like they forgot in the last episode. Are your eyes red? See, this is closer to what she should have been like in episode two. Congratulations, show. You finally figured out an element of how she should feel. I'm just going to forget. Look more suspicious. I mean, you might as well put your hood on, dude, like at this point. It's so conspicuous. Just walk like normal people. Ugh. Can you imagine if someone just walked past and like, what are you just sort of hiding here in this little alleyway? What are you doing, buddy? At least try and pillage some of that Stormtrooper armor from the many bodies you've freshly created. That way you can freely move about with the undercover lady escorting your prisoner to wherever you may need to go. So much better than this utterly suss shit. That's right. He's on our side. Designations, Netby. Hi, Netby. This is L0LA59. Little less, say hello. He's just a loader. They don't allow them to communicate. What? What if he has something to say? Well, why do we have to tell the loader to load something? Yeah, why wouldn't you unload something? Yeah, why wouldn't you unload something? To communicate. That's just handy. Yeah, it seems like, yeah, something very useful. I can't even be here. I want to follow this guy's life. I'm way more interested in this story. Who are these up to? She said they don't allow them to communicate. That's so strange. Why would you not allow them if it's not possible? They came along here. They have safe houses like this throughout the galaxy. Some call it the path. You're not the first Jedi to come through here. It all leads to Jubeem. From there we give them new identities and get them out. There are a lot of good people risking their lives out there. Are they all Jedi? Not all. These days the Empire hunts anyone who's force sensitive. So it's not the Jedi? Oh, it's just for us to see. Even children. Even children. Even children. They did that already back in the prequel here. We're not sure. What happens to them? We're not sure. No one ever sees them again. Right, because they have a coming Christmas. Or they die. Or they die, yeah. Oh, and was he... Julie! Or sensitive. Oh, wow. Hyper rare. Smuggling younglings. Wait, who was mentioned, Zarek? Winwin? Was that the guy from the other planet? I forgot already what it was. Don't worry, Metal, I've got you covered. Meme repository, I'll take it from here. Quinlan Vos. Fan-favourite character, best known for his appearances in the old Star Wars, Republic and Jedi comics. A morally ambiguous character, often struggling with the dark side of the force and possessing certain unique force abilities. Well, unique until Rey stole them. Initially he was slated to die in episode three during Order 66, but the scene was never filmed so Quinlan lives another day. Free for Disney to rub their bulbous, greasy cocks all over. Thanks, George. Can you truly see? Shut up. Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop giving her lines. Figgly. Follow me, I'll know the way. Yeah, if only your robot could communicate. Everything is fine. Just open up the door. Yeah, there's no reason not to open it. This must be something you've accounted for, right? You went through a secret door back there, Yeah, just open up the door. Hello. I'm just a loader, loading. As I do, I'm Ned. You want some loads? Is he gonna go on loads? No, please leave my house. Yeah, sure. Uh... A Jedi was seen entering this camp. Oh, someone did spot him. Man, if only you switched fucking clothing by now. Javedal was there off, you know? I have the hood on. Might as well. Seen anyone? Can't talk. Hey! Just stand there. Oh my gosh. You! He didn't see you! Why did you take so long to say that, of the Stormtrooper? Was it for the tension? Yeah, it's even worse by the way. Why are you gonna have her on you? Why wouldn't you know that? Why don't they know that? Surely they would. Wouldn't they be trained in all of these things as a Stormtrooper? Well, they work here. They work here in this town. They don't know that. Destroyed hates the Empire. Congratulations. You are being rescued. Someone must have seen us. Yeah, crazy, huh? Yeah, because we were in that uniform. You literally put no effort into being hidden and someone saw you. No, they won't shade. Lee, that helps. See, you're like an officer. People will really recognize you, right? I wear it on the other side. Gives me a faster drool. Can you teach me how to shoot? No, not now. Okay, because she's gonna shoot one day. Can you make a good fight here one day? Why? Yeah, there you go. Yeah, so I think you're not gonna be right. Oh, fuck. Jesus, calm down. Why would you say that? Because it is true, right? It's just because it's the matter, like that's the thing. They needed to load a robot to say, you know what? I think you're both right and someone else a fourth person. Also, why would you let people write messages and names on the inside if this place gets discovered? Now they have a record of all the people who've come through here. So that's probably not too right. Yeah. Covey should be incredibly thankful for this woman. She has facilitated everything for him. Yeah, not them. She's so helpful. He's been fucking useless on his own. And considering that she wouldn't have even needed to compromise everything if he had just waited another few minutes. Yep, everything would have been fine. What's going on with him now? Oh, Veda, sensing Anakin's fleams. Oh, it's dark now. Hey, when was it nighttime? What the fuck? Well, the sun sets very fast on this planet, Molly. Okay. Blinking you'll miss it. Oh, boy. Leave. Leave. Leave. Oh, it's the- Oh, it's the- You got it. It's the blade. Leave. Ah, yeah. Leave. I guess we don't remember. Veda has that breath in the originals, too. Oh, okay, okay, okay. It's good to know. Leave. You need to leave. Yeah, so you need to run the fuck away. If you can sense him, he can sense you. Yeah. Oh, no, don't pay this visit. It's based on movement. Just when we were complimenting how much she- And then it's going to go red. It's not going to go red, isn't it? There's the light saber. Oh, no, maybe not yet. Oh, wow. They showed a tiny, minuscule amount of restraint. Well, in fact, he's wearing his helmet. I'm just surprised they're not playing the Imperial March, like at all. No, no, both of you go. Why are you- Why are you looking at him? He's coming towards you. You don't want Darth Vader to come towards you. Leave. Obi-Wan, I can see you. I can tell you're going to graduate by time. Is that the play? Ah, it's over. He knows. Okay. He's going to do this to lure him out. Obi-Wan, you need to make a fucking decision, man. You just kill him? Yeah. Oh, he just kills people. Is he cool, Obi-Wan? Really cool. Darth Vader's just super evil. Go. Leave. That wasn't even like- You should make him scream. That's what Vader would have done. Yeah, if you just kill him- Obi-Wan, I'll be right behind you. Get it, Aldra. Promise me. Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan. Remember, you have a mission with Luke as well. Forever? No, that's fine. Yoda told you it's really important. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. What are you watching? They're trying to imply this is why Obi-Wan has to stay, but- He shouldn't have been around to see any of this. It's just annoying that he's never thought that this is a potential. And this is happening all around the galaxy all the time, so- What is he doing? Vader, he's just trying to bait out Kenobi, I guess. No, not Vader. What is Obi-Wan doing? He's just running around looking at it. He's just waiting for people to die. He's not going one way or the other. You know, he's just standing, allowing this to happen, but not doing anything. Would you sweep the town? Search, brother. Oh, god. So what have you been doing? Vader's here now. You guys need to stop. Oh, yeah, it's all our family members were just casually killed for no reason at all. Yeah, we love the empire. They're great. I just love casually murdering people for no reason. My favorite thing for bad guys to do is it really makes me believe they're bad people, you know? How ever could a sizable rebellion ever be formed? Why would that ever happen? I can't imagine why that can- Make any sense. Where did you go? You were following out. How did you do that? Oh, okay. Why are you out here? This genuinely is so inherent that I feel like it's a vision, but I don't think it's going to be a vision. It has to be, right? How could he have caught up? Why would he be having a vision right now? Oh, he's just running away. Oh, you- Why did you come out here then? He's just running away. What the hell is he running back? I only run, but like, very jog. Well, like a jog. Yeah, yeah. Are you luring him onto a landmine or something? Oh, is he ahead of you again? Is he flying to these places? No, he's running really quick when the camera is not on him. It's really silly, but we don't show it. Oh, this is annoying. If you put that in front of your face, you're going to blind yourself. Nicely finally pulled out the fucking lightsaber though. Hey, how about that? Don't run away again, you pussy. Little coward. I wanted to do a brisk jog again. It was so funny. What have you become? I am what you made me. Yeah, you can't really talk, Obi-Wan. You did that to him. Yeah, I kind of fucked him up, pretty bad. Oh, really? Why are you kidding me? What are you doing? Or where are you going? That's so annoying. Why are you touching their faces? Now they're going to start interrogating people. It's like, probably should have opened with that. Hey, what a plot. I need to talk to you. He literally just came out of the place. Yeah, well, they don't. They don't communicate very well, whatever. You can just open the door. You can just press the button like a normal person. Of course, she will find the correct place. You should be moving faster. They should be sprinting. This is insane. You should be running. You just saw Darth motherfucking Vader. You need to run. Nobody cares. What are we doing? Gives a shit. It's unreal. Vader and Obi-Wan just met, and he just jogged away twice. I can't believe we just saw that. It's net. Risk jog. Oh, here we go again. Is he going to pop up again? I'm so scared of Vader. But not that scared. Seriously, how could he not comment on the fact that he keeps pushing out like he has to? Where are you going? Why did you come out here? If you're going to run, I really don't understand. Walking is awkward for me. Oh, okay. Now we're doing this. Okay, good fight. I'm out of it. This is real. This is happening. Oh man, that choreography. What's that? I feel like there should have been like a conversation or something. Did you have history? Is it just me? Does it seem like almost cheap or something? Something's not right. It feels very cheap, right? Why would you look behind there? Don't you feel that we built up to this fight? No, there wasn't any build up. You're right. This is Vader and Obi-Wan. This is like... It's just so unceremonious. There's just nothing to this. They're just here. It's like they're cashing a check early. But as soon as you put them in a scene, that's all you want to see. It's like really hard to come back from that. You have to be really careful how you use them. I can't help him. He's fine. Nope, he won't be. I can make it on my own from here. Go. Keep running till you reach the port. A pilot will meet you there. Bring him back. Wait, she's going to go help. Wait, what, and I... Oh, help him what? No, run! Go whisper. She needs it at least. Don't! This is so slow. This is a Jedi. The little girl needs your help. What the fuck? Why is this so... Oh, this is terrible. The choreographer, what's going on? Do we even need clips of Revenge of the Sith to show the difference? He's done. That's a generic line. Fucking personnel again. Wow. Just walk through it, I guess. Well, he has to, because... Use the force to make the smoke go away. You have telekinesis. Well, yeah, I guess they can't have an end to their duel with one of them die-ins, though. Oh, okay. I can't believe she's found it. Well, she's about to bump into the window, right? She just looked and found it. Unless there's multiple columns. Oh, look at all these names. I swear to God, if she manages to catch up with Leia and Leia's pilot, whoever that is, because of the stupid lady ditching them and walking there, because I don't know what else this would be. Are you angry because he saw us dimble? Oh, God, please don't. Wow. Don't you dare. Pressing all the right buttons. You have like eagle vision or an inspector vision from a video game. She does have eagle vision from Assassin's Creed. It's like, oh, yeah. That is the button I need to press. Press the things. This is the door. The right is getting closer and closer to getting that. She's going to get lair, it's just a fucking dumb, don't you dare. Oh, good. Obi-Wan seems like such a pussy. Oh, what's that? The rocks? Use force on him. Back. Do something. Yeah, well, you can't just do that. That's cheating. Try and do something Obi-Wan. It does seem like this is an unspoken rule you're not really allowed to do. We've talked about this. Like, you can't do this because it's like the hyperdrive kamikaze. You can't do this. Just to really emphasize the problem with this scene, let's jump into Jedi Academy. So we got Rose here. She doesn't have any force on her. So we're just going to just do an old choke. Do an old choke maneuver there. Oh, sorry, Rose. Oh, no. Oh, nuts. Oh, no. Whatever will we do? Oh, but oh, oh, no. Obi-Wan's here. What are we going to do? Oh, no. I'm going to do it to him now. Oh, oh, no. Obi-Wan can't be gripped because he has the force too. So you see game developers have to actually deal with the fucking bullshit that writers put on screen because otherwise lightsaber duels wouldn't function. They had to figure out, OK, so we want to give them force grip, but we also want to give them lightsabers. We want them to actually use the lightsabers. So what do we do? Oh, I know. If any time you try to force grip someone, you have the ability to break out of it using the force because that would actually make sense. So Obi-Wan, fucking break out of your fucking grip, man. Use your fucking force powers. You've been training, right? You need to train Luke. So fucking lose that thing that you should have been practicing and break free, break free. Or he'll do this. Oh, why? Now you can't walk to him. Burn him as well. Oh, so he's going to be hideously scarred now. Use the force, Obi-Wan. Wait, sorry. He's not good at it. Oh, the writer's not familiar with what fire is. No, no, apparently not. Your pain has just begun. You don't... Why are you such a loser? Do they not know what fire does? Do something. How did she get out here without the other one finding her? Well, no, they do know what fire does. There's a big guy standing there. No, why did you... He shows exactly what fire does. That's not what... That's... No, that's not how this works. How the fuck is she going to save him? I like how Vader did not... Wait, you know where it came from. That's the downside of blasters, is you know where all this... Oh, great. More fire. Well, that doesn't matter. Vader just put it out with the force. Just put it out again. Yeah, just put it out again. Wait, did you write it out? Use the force and stop it. No, the lighter box is going to save him. Put it out. Use the force and stop him. Just put it out with the force. What are you doing? Vader? Put it out. Vader, what are you doing? Use the force and grab the robot. Why are you watching him go away? Wake up. Vader, stop him. Vader, what are you doing? Just walk around. Vader's suffering. What is Vader doing? Vader is currently having war flashbacks? He's having PTSD from the fire this time. He has to re-roll every time he failed his role this time. Vader's retarded too. Are you just letting him go? Yep. Oh, you're leaving. You're fucking off. No, just walk around. Get him. Well, what about every other time that Obi-Wan... Sorry. Sorry. Went into a brisk jog. I'm... They lost him. They lost him. What is going on? They lost him. He had help where to sweep the planet. No one will ever find him. No one is here. Just get a ship. Call your ships in your probe droids. He's here on the planet. He's just right over there. He must have carried him 20 feet. How did you get away? How did she get away? Where is Leia? Yeah. And she's still escaping on what's going to be. She's going to catch up with her. Wait, is she coming back? Yeah. She's going to be coming back. Yep. There you go. They did it. Excellent writing. Top notch. 110 percent. Beautiful. Unfortunately, they couldn't make it. Impossible, but whatever. How did she get here? Build the pilot. Great. How is it even possible that she made it there? Ahead of her. Isn't it? Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, such good writing. Oh, wow. Fucking god. Written by four people. Four people wrote this. It took four people. It took four people. And this is what we have. Stop saying it's based on Star Wars by George Lucas. It's a lie. I'm actually struggling. Wow. I'm really struggling here. Shit. I'm really struggling. Where do you begin? Off a cliff. Like, okay. Genuinely, genuine question. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to make that worse without going into anything like conspicuously outside the realm or something they would do? I don't know, because I'm not even sure that we're obeying the laws of where things are in space. Characters are where they can't be. Like, right? It's amazing how they've been running through that fucking tunnel system for like half an hour before Riva even opened the door. How the hell did she get there ahead of them? James Earl Jones. There you go. Yeah. Bullshit. Yeah, well, to be fair, it might not even be him. It could be fucking robot. Hey, guys. Here's a short demo of our voice conversion technology. We'll be converting my voice to the voice of Barack Obama. The system captures the idiosyncrasies of how I say something. Each time I say it, I can say the same thing many times. The same thing many times. The same thing many times. And each time the recording will be correspondingly different. This next voice conversion, suitable for applications, where the results should have the personality and range to emotion of a real person. Let me help you. Have you heard anyone talk like that back home? The voice was fine with me. This, the stupid, I'm just going to break people's necks until Kenobi wakes up was lame. And then him just like... Why would I say? And then Kenobi didn't even show up. He had to go like... Just grab the fuck away from myself. It's supposed to be like the dramatic meeting of these two people. I haven't seen each other for a decade, who are probably the most important people to each other in terms of their effect on their lives. Kind of lands with a bit of a, like, a wet pump on the other side of this meeting. I don't... Yeah, I don't know if you could have bungled that more. And what's their meeting place? It's like a weird yard where there's... Oh, this is where the end of crisis on Infinite Earth was. It's the same place. It's a fucking quarry. Why are they having a... It's a dirt pile outside of Toronto or wherever. The fight itself is... The fight itself is pretty lame. It was terrible. I don't even know if they should have fought. This should have been just like, wow, I can't... Probably shouldn't have fought. We're meeting. I'm sorry. I've been thinking about what it would be for the last 10 fights. Can you really call this fight... What was choreographed here? Like... I don't know what that was. Maybe they didn't have time to choreograph it and they just, you know... Wasn't it like Hayden Christensen practicing? We are bringing back Hayden Christensen to reprise the role of Darth Vader. We couldn't tell the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi without addressing Anakin or Vader. Have another swing at each other. It might be quite satisfying for everybody. Well, so this is fight one done. As far as we know, there's three of them. There'll be another one. Well, there's definitely gonna be one more. There's definitely one more, I would say. I guess it's just... It's really odd that you would think that the big shtick of this show, which is essentially that you want to have this meeting. I don't know. This show is fast sinking into... You know how like I say with Solo, I don't believe like when I watch A New Hope that Han Solo dropped Cthulhu into a black hole. Like I'm kind of very quickly reaching that here. I'm like, I don't believe this happened. I believe that he lived on Tatooine for 19 years and an uneventful life. And then he met Darth Vader for the first time again on the Death Star. Like I'm fast getting to that point. Knew the con... Because, man, we have made Kenobi, like I said, super cowardly, super incompetent. They know what they're doing, Leia. He can't critically think to save his fucking life. It's gone insane. And I'm not gonna tell you him. I'm totally fine with him not being as adept a fighter or as good with the Force now, but like he should be... Ten years, yeah. He shouldn't be losing like the years and years and years of experience that he developed in the Clone Wars. Yeah. In all of his years as a Jedi master. He was a Jedi master. He was good enough to beat all of those people. He beat Darth Maul. He beat Grievous. He beat Darth Maul. He beat Anakin. He did pretty well to beat Count Dooku. Dooku, yeah. This is the thing we're talking about. You're right, like he beat it. One of the best swordsmen ever, but this is just something he's casually... The swordmanship in that fucking scene. What are we doing? Both of them are just idiots. Does it even make sense? Like if he's been given this mission to protect Luke, do I... We need to believe that he wouldn't keep training just in case. Dude, I agree with you. I hate the fact that not everything is sort of as a prism viewed from his potential to help Luke. Like every question that comes up in this adventure should be filtered through that. Like if I do this, I might not be able to protect Luke. Yeah. I still have a job to do. Like Yoda told him this was so important. Destroy the Sith. We must... Hidden. Safe. The children must be kept. We must take them somewhere where the Sith will not sense that presence. To Tatooine. Do his family send him? I will take the child and watch over him. Yoda told him to spend like the next several... Like years learning about, you know, force ghosts and everything. In your solitude on Tatooine training, I have for you. An old friend has learned the path to immortality. How to commune with him, I will teach you. Yoda told him about Kwaiganjin. Why the fuck is his force turned off? I still don't feel justified. We've had that explained. I'm fine with him having doubts. I want him to have doubts. It's not a shared one, though, is it? No, no, no, that's what I'm saying. It's like, I want this story to be about him having doubts about like whether his mission will bring about anything, what his failures were. But like, that doesn't mean you have to completely turn him into an entirely incompetent, basically a different person. Like, I just don't even see... Yeah, this is not Obi-Wan. I was going to say, what do we have that is Obi-Wan's here? It's Iwan McGregor. That is it. The actor. It's the actor. I don't see the traits of him in the prequel era, and I don't see his traits in the OT. And it's like, whoa, it's the middle story. But surely he's going to have like a mix at this point. He's getting there. Or is this the story that will teleport him to Alec McGinnis like Obi-Wan? You know what I mean? Like, is this the one that's just going to teleport him to those traits? He'll learn so much and he'll be there and then there'll be no more drama for the next nine years until Darth Maul shows up and they fight again. Pissed off of the making him wear his fucking robe. Like, it's insane that he... But it's because I wanted to... Wear something normal. Yeah, that's the only reason they're doing it is because it makes the audience connect like with their monkey brain. Like, that's Kenobi. Kenobi. Well, he looks so... Oh, my bones are aching. Well, which is pretty crazy when you think about the fact that him lighting up his lightsaber, they didn't put much... No, they're so casual. No, yeah, it was just completely casual. That's why I thought they were holding off on that last episode. I thought that they didn't have him meet Riva just so that they could wait for the reveal of him turning on his lightsaber and then halfway through this scene, it's like, oh, it's on, I guess. Okay. The way you do payoffs like that is that he's... It's like the Force one, right? But I just don't believe he should have turned off the Force. He's in a position where he's used every other option and he's got to do it. And then, but to be fair, I only find that meaningful if he hasn't turned it on up to this point for a really good reason, but I haven't been given that reason. I didn't know that Jedi could bleed. I don't know why he's not doing all these different things. He's running these really complicated and dangerous adventures, but he refuses to use his two greatest tools. He just ran out to this dirt pile so that he could, I guess, see Darth Vader. I don't know why he went out there to look at him or to run away from him again. So I... What a joke. I hate the fact that he keeps fucking running away from Vader. Like, you... You should have words for each other. Like, this should be end of season. You have a whole conversation. You have a conversation. Obi-Wan, I've been thinking about this for ten fucking years. You told me I'll probably put you in the fire now you know how to begin. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's so basic, bitch. Like, when you have these two talk to each other, you get, like, five sentences per scene. You get about three scenes. Like, what are we going to spend it on? I know you should have killed me when you had the chance. Fuck off. Which is a line that should exist in part of a much, much larger conversation. It should be something that we say is what Vader thinks as a result of all the other things he's saying. You should be able to pick it all up. These are all the obvious fucking things. Like, for example, let's have a line of him saying, I hate you. It's like, no, no, no, no. We wouldn't need that either. We want... We want things said that are really insightful, meaningful for the two of them to actually say, this is your chance. You're ruining it. Our season's second act low point is maybe, if you want to have them meet sooner, the season's second act low point is Vader has sort of tracked Obi-Wan down and they're in close proximity. Vader then starts talking aloud about like he does with Luke. You can unhide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the dark side. It is the only way you can save your friends. I know he's going to start talking aloud about what he did during Order 66 in the Jedi Temple. And it makes Obi-Wan angry. Obi-Wan gets upset and he goes out there and he's angry and he fights him and he barely gets away. And that's our low point because he kind of gave in to his emotions. He could talk about all the people who died as a result of Obi-Wan going into exile. Well, remember in Return of the Jedi? Yes. Your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong, especially for Sister. And that's how we lose Luke out. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Exactly. That's the way. That's Vader. I cannot. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. Vader's so much cooler and smarter and badass that he isn't this. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will. Come on! You should have seen Mace Windu. He was screaming like a bitch as he went flying out that window or something. You know, just saying things to make him get more angry. Have you ever wondered what happened to what's her face? Ahsoka, you know, something like that. Get Obi-Wan to become emotional and angry. Draw him out. Obi-Wan kind of gives in to that dark part of himself and he has to learn to find his way. Despite all of the guilt he might feel inside of him and all the bad things that have happened, he has to stay focused on the future, focused on his mission, on getting Luke on the path. It's not all over and you have to live to fight another day. You can have him. But we got this. The several of the Jedi that have been hunted down over the decade, a lot of them when interrogated, when brought to their last limits, they are desperate for you and you abandoned them. And you weren't there. Why? And then you could be like, because you fear me. And like Obi-Wan could be like, I don't even... This is the thing. In our version, Obi-Wan knows Vader exists. That's not a flex. Yeah. This isn't a surprise. It's not fair. He's probably prepared for this day, just like many times. Vader definitely has. Well, both of them. Why wouldn't they have a conversation? Why isn't it, I'm gonna put you in the fire. I don't like you. And then Obi-Wan runs away. Like, oh, terrible. Yeah. I always wondered if I'd see you again or something. Something, something. I got something, something between these two. You totally have bungled one of the best potential payoffs that the story could have. And it's, it's all just, you've wasted it. Thoroughly wasted it. Completely wasted. I was gonna make you burn like you made me burn. It's so, the like, the focus on this, it just ignores everything else that happens in that episode. Yes, we are in this field. Oh, damn, it was a lie. Let's not wait. Let's go talk to this chap and get on his pudge. Don't say anything. Oh, feel free to speak freely with this stranger. Yes, let's get on the barge. Oh, no, imperial troopers. Stormtroopers are here. What are we gonna say? Oh, whoops. Your name's not Leia. Wait, that's, that's her mom. Yeah, that's, I get him confused. I'm not Obi-Wan. Like, what, what are we doing? There'll be one. Episode three was so much worse than two, but it was so much worse than one. They can't construct, I can't wait for four. They can't construct one event leading to the next to save their lives. There's not a fucking component of this that makes like, anything that's like, oh, I see how that works. It's like, no, if I can Obi-Wan is like, well, why are they here? I don't understand how a person could not be in this exact location. Let's get on this truck and be stupid for 20 minutes. Like, I guess, I guess it makes sense the truck that was going and then it got to the place. That makes sense. I still take major issue with the meat shield. That bothers me to know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But he didn't know that he ratted him out. And even if he did. And even, he didn't even rat him out. He's just like, I found some weird people. Can you check him out? It's not even ratting him out. It's just like, these are basically police officers. I found these random people in a field. Like, can you check them out? Yeah, I think it's trying to, I think it's trying to, I think that they're trying to justify it with, hey, you like the empire, so it's fine. So it's okay to use them as a human shield. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even believe that's something like a Jedi would do just ever. No, it feels so out of character and so out of out of order, dare I say. It's not going to wake up. Also, what they needed to do was have the guy try to hit him with like a wrench or something. Yeah. And then Kenobi blocks it, flips him around. That's what you, instead the guy is like, oh no, leave it like, he looks panicked and Kenobi uses him in shield. It's not right. The fact that he turned off the gate to like get through the laser gate. Yeah, that was so funny as fuck. The stormtrooper's sharp and it's like, dude, you're a Jedi. You have a lightsaber. You could like fight three stormtroopers. Come on. He took out five of them and a probe droid, which pro drops can shoot you. So the six enemies and then he can't take on three. You can argue four with a girl in the back and they let him keep his gun when he goes down his knee. It's like when the other guy captures layers, like drop it and then he just shoots the dude. It's like, what was that? What's the point of like a drop the gun? I got you. Guess he didn't have it. I'm sorry, but I've got this on the screen right now. If this is the state of your prisoner, like you might be like, spot the problem with this image. Is there anything here that maybe it looks out like that? Yeah, like that. Yeah, like that. It's like, nah. It's kind of straight out of the trigger. Especially when you have reason to believe that this is a Jedi, you know? It's like, I don't know why you just wouldn't fucking shoot him instantly. You know? I don't know why they would shoot him instantly. Yeah. Like look, those are your, those are your friends who were dead back there. Like, dude. In order 66, they didn't wait around. They weren't like surrender. They just started shooting. Oh, God. Also, there's a mess. Obi-Wan doesn't use the force in this episode when I feel like in these situations, having this kind of power is very good. Especially if you're. Dude, I wouldn't be surprised at the end of the episode six. He cracks it back open, speaks to Obi-Wan, Luke is safe, Leia's safe. That's how it ends. Sorry, speaks, yeah, Qui-Gon, man. Like the, I wouldn't be surprised with fucking last episode has like Yoda and Qui-Gon in it. I wouldn't be surprised. I think Qui-Gon isn't a certainty. I think he'll only, he'll only see Qui-Gon when he's like, I think it'll be symbolic of him like coming through his depression. It'll be episode five. At the end of episode five, he'll give him a pep talk and be like, it's okay. Get him out of that second act low point. You just gotta try again and then it'll be like, thanks Qui-Gon for helping me out. And then Qui-Gon will be like, yeah, no worries. It's what I do. I'm not up to anything else really. My timetable is wide open. You know, roll back even two or three years. You'll find footage of us talking about this show and then how, oh, God, to Invader and Kenobi back together doing things. Like, oh, it's so risky. And it's just like, well, be as realized. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's retroactively damaging Obi-Wan Darth Vader as well. Like, he just let him escape. Just let him leave. Yep. Why not? How did, what's the name escape as well? She shot them from the top and it's like, I guess none of them just ran up there. They just didn't care. Yeah, they didn't care. She shoots once and none of them can figure out the direction it came from even though they saw the bolt. So they would have seen exactly like, you can guess like, oh, there's a hill there. She's probably behind the fucking hill. Yeah. Yeah, we should go get her. Second bolt comes out. She'll shoot us too. And they still don't know where she is. She's not on fire, yeah. And they don't chase it. What do we do, guys? Oh my God. It's already funny. They just start shooting into the fire where Obi-Wan is. Think about this. Like, if he didn't do the fire thing, he couldn't have escaped. There would have been no way. Nothing would have caught on fire. There would have been nothing. But then again, like Darth Vader, you have the force. Just jump over that shit. Like. It seems to be that he did before. The stuff is smoldering and she sets it back on fire. It's like, how does that happen? I don't understand how that works. And why don't you just put it out again? Yeah, you could have brought it the first time. He just decides to let Obi-Wan escape because he wants him to turn around and aid him. Why are they, they get full control over the set piece and they make it retarded? Like why would you do this? Why would all of your freedoms do you make it this way? And then we have to just- This is what you envisioned? Like in your head when you thought about this moment, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? This is what was in your head? This is what your mind came up with? But Rags, we got a really cool visual Vader behind fire. Wow, that's really great because I couldn't- because when I saw that visual all I was thinking of was like why it wasn't it, why isn't he putting it out. He could probably just walk through it. Simplifies us how that burning his character. Obi-Wan, you gave me Bernie, Bernie hot touch. I'm going to do it to you now. Hee hee. Fuck you, show. I can tell this one made you upset. It's Vader. Leave him alone. It's stuck. Yeah. Have I done him yet? Did you like to partway Obi-Wan? Watch them- I swear to God. Yeah, and he didn't react to it in any way. He didn't even have like an emotion on his face. But the problem with that scene is that they try to make it out as though it's like you have a choice. Run with a layer to get out of here or fend off Vader to increase his survival chances. And it's the worst of both worlds. He walks off like idiotically. He doesn't help any of the civilians. Then he gets caught and incapacitated by Vader while Leia is caught. All of the worst things happen. Just pretty riddled from top to bottom with terrible writing. Fucking terrible. Mother's right. This is the worst of all worlds. This is the infinite multiverse of bad shows. We just got the worst one. I see this is the longest of our three recordings that they're only going to get long. Yeah, it's just going to get fucking worse, dude. More and more annoying. Can I just say a special shout out to Rogue One? You had Darth Vader in it. And if anything, some of that shit was really cool. Yeah. Yeah, that was. That was legit cool. He was in character and he did things that Vader would do. He did. Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. It's power to create problems has certainly been confirmed. A city destroyed. An Imperial vicinity openly attacked. Apology accepted. Captain Nita. Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, director. Just like, oh, they just made a load of rogue ones, you know, stuff stuff like that. Yeah, I can't believe we're wishing for the world where we did. They just made a bunch of Rogue One level stuff. I'm pretty sure it's going to be like a relatively healthy place who'd be saying, you know, there's nothing like as outstanding as the original. But like, no, it's fine. They're doing some stuff and it's enjoyable because here it's just pain. It is pain. It's like I'm being dragged through fire in a dirt pile. You'll know something worse. You'll know something worse. Well, that doesn't do much. Rags are to worry about it. You'll be fine. Oh, okay. You want to know something, something a little upset? You guys even a little bit more. I didn't go for it. I was like, I went to Twitter right away and I decided to, you know, share my immediate take as I generally do with these episodes. And I thought that the appropriate way to do it with this one would be to tweet out pictures from the episode and say, people who saw this episode without laughing derisively. Why? And oh, I weren't even told I went and looked me to hate it. People go, I don't know. Like it's got some problems, but like it's fine. It's like, and that's the overwhelming response. There are a few people who are like, yeah, it's really bad. I agree. But you're well. It was a punctual episode. What are you talking about? Okay. I couldn't even read it all the way. I'm sad, Dal. How is functional? The first word anyone thinks of to describe this? This episode is absolutely dysfunctional. It's horrible. That's what he said. To a degree, it's kind of insane. Yeah. The least functional things I've ever seen. You know, it's like, oh, we can't make a meetup with the helper person. We've got to get some stressful, tension-filled scenes with other stuff. So they land, have a bunch of stormtroopers outside, and then you get your tension that way, and they have to escape the ship without them real life. It's just stuff like that. Why did you do this? Why did you make everyone so stupid? Why did you have to do it? You didn't have to do it like this. Redrafting probably would have. Well, this is like, it's so dire. It's so dire. We get everybody where we need them to be regardless. I don't, I still don't understand how Reba got to the guy before. Like, there's no one, right? How did you know where the tunnel went? How would you know where the tunnel went? There's one tunnel, right? I thought there was just one path. There must not be. There must not be. Otherwise, she would have run past Leia. Exactly. She would have bumped into the other girl who's heading back to help Kenobi out. Yes. And so we have to conclude that there is a series of tunnels down there, and she happened to pick the right one and get ahead of Leia. It's like, what the fuck? How does that make any sense? But what that means is that the girl that was helping him, she didn't tell Leia, okay, when there's a fork in the tunnel, you take left. Well, maybe we'll pass the fork at that point, right? Oh, maybe they were past the fork, of course. Astounding that Leia had that much of a head start and she got ahead of her. It's fucking incredible. It is. And you'd think that the closest point between the two would be to run down the tunnel. Leia is now in the Empire's custody. Again. Yeah. And she's been traveling with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Both Obi-Wan and the lady, they both decided, because Obi-Wan has a responsibility, he does, to get back to Tatooine to take care of Luke. Like, he needs to do that. And then he decides to run off to go fight Vader and potentially die. And then like the second one as well is, this lady, it's like, hey, can you make sure that Leia gets to safety? Like, that's all I need from you. And then she's like, you can handle this yourself, right? Leia, like, you can find your way on your own. I gotta go and help Obi-Wan. They both abandoned her. Why? Absolutely fucking insane that they both abandoned her. Yeah. And like, I want to ask the people who made these scenes, like, do you think this makes the OT better? Do you think that seeing her this makes it better? Yeah, they're like, ah, this makes it so much richer. When Obi-Wan meets Darth Vader, that makes it so meaningful. When Obi-Wan says to Luke, yeah, he's a good friend. He remembers how he got burnt, like, put in fire. He was almost like, yeah, he's a good friend. What I mean, that scene works way better when everything between these two is just the prequels. Because of Obi-Wan having done so much to Anakin. He knows what Anakin did. But yeah, dragging him through burning coals, or whatever the hell this was. That was just stupid. That was really stupid, yeah. Bye. Keep doing it. Just keep fucking shit up. I'm so glad that they've dragged Vader down along with Obi-Wan. We got to do them both. We got to make them both insanely stupid and idiotic. The level field for everyone. Everyone needs to be as retarded as the other one. It's so funny that they're like... Stormtroopers are stupid. Obi-Wan's stupid. Darth Vader's stupid. Everyone's stupid. If you accept at this point that Star Wars is, like, just a series where everyone has, like, an IQ of 30. That brain damage is still too much. And, like, that's just, like, how intelligent people are in this universe, right? Then, like, in the original trilogy, in some points in the prequels, like, you know, there are some anomalies. You know, there's just some people they get lucky and they have some good ideas by chance. Then, you know, I think everything, everything lines up. That load of robots really incredibly slowly moving away with Obi-Wan's body while there's all these Stormtroopers that can just walk around Vader. No, no, they're... People can't walk around things in this universe. If it's, like, if it's... If something is between them and the thing they want to get to, they can't, they can't sort that out. Just sleep. Oh, but Vader legit is like, oh no, fire. And it's like, you just put it out. And he's like, oh no, Obi-Wan's too far away. It's like, how did you beat him just now? With your far away powers? It doesn't even look like Vader is doing anything or is like, concerns, like... So I guarantee the first offense for all of this from fans will be like, no, no, no, no. Vader wanted this. He wants Obi-Wan to escape because he wants him to feel fear or some bullshit. That's why he let the Stormtroopers keep shooting at him. Yep. Gotcha. It's especially good with the, the fact that every other time it looked like Obi-Wan was going to escape, Vader just teleported there out of nowhere. Yeah. It's so transparently just, yeah, the show wants him to escape now. Fuck you. Yeah. So it's actually a point for that, right? So you've got, there's an exit tunnel that leads to a pilot that leads to a ship that gets you off-planet. It's like, okay. And Vader is, you can see him in front of you past your sort of shelter. He doesn't know where you are. It's like, all right, well, with everything you've explained to me, it sounds like our heroes can get out of here because they'll sprint down that tunnel away from Vader and towards salvation, right? And you're like, no, actually, none of them can get out because of this situation. Like, oh, and then you're like, they are meters away from Vader, heavily injured, slow, nowhere near any kind of ship or pilot or any help, but they escape because the episode ended there. Talent. I've never seen, yeah, Obi-Wan Kenobi's 20 feet in front of you and you're watching him get carried away and he won't just put out the fire again and get him, or he won't just walk around. He won't just walk around. Grab him with a fork. You came all this way. You came all this way across the galaxy to this planet to come fetch him. And here he is 20 feet in front of you and you're like, no, I guess he gets carried away. I'm sure how that works out time-wise. Weird, slow-ass probes that they finally got there. And Vader is here and Riva and all the other ones. It doesn't take about the same amount of time to get from Moustafa to this planet as it does to get from wherever that goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Obi-Wan goes from city planet to new planet and then Riva goes from city planet to planet where her bosses live to have a meeting about how they need to send out the drones. Drones ascend and they arrive and are prepared for Kenobi. Oh, of course, the timeline. Yeah, 10 minutes after he's arrived at that planet. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, no, I knew that's what you were trying to say. I was trying to line up exactly. They were there for like a day at Morse and by a day I mean like 12 hours. Travel takes time. It felt to me like it was fucking 20 minutes, like in real time. Yeah. Wow, really? It was right with all of the time that maybe they got that. When he was like, oh, it's a long story. He's like, it's a long trip. It's like, no, it's not. It's literally like one minute. Yeah, two minutes. Two minutes and eight minutes, yeah. And I know some of you might be like, no, it's just montage cuts. They didn't talk about anything else. Oh, I thought they were just standing out in the field. They're just in the field. Oh yeah, they were ravaging that field. That's what the Empire does. They just ravaged. Obi-Wan was so bad at being secretive that if their conversation lasted for a half hour, then it's over because he wouldn't be able to keep lying. They would just be like, oh, so, you know, we're in this country or we're in this planet. Did your wife die or were you visiting? He has no idea what the names of anything here are. Yeah. Also doesn't even work out with the lady who was supposed to meet him there. Apparently she was there, but he was gone. Yeah, because he didn't wait. So they must have driven. Yeah, they were on water. Like lost each other at some point. And then she went back, get her uniform, get on to the transporter with the stormtroopers that happened to head there where Obi-Wan is. No, it doesn't work. She didn't even... It's not enough time for anything of this to happen. And she would have known they were at the outpost because she was heading there. Because yeah, she had all this knowledge. She didn't call ahead to be like, oh, don't worry about checking those two. You know, I know them. They are locals. Don't worry about it. They've been here for years while they visited before. I know them. She didn't try that. She was just like, no, I'm going to sacrifice my position and kill all of you. Yeah. That's so stupid. This episode is really, really broken. It's terrible. Not even funny. Like it's absolutely broken. Sometimes it is funny, but this isn't funny. This is just bad. No, yeah. It's sad. It is frustrating. Like if you can't even... As a writer, you can't even make sure that the places where your characters go actually make sense. I mean, I'm sorry. Like, I don't know what I'm going to tell you. This is like theater of the mind, but you have vertigo. They weren't focusing on logistics, though. They were focusing on making sure that they nailed the... The cat's true. Yeah. This is one of the biggest wasted... In terms of that narrative opportunity cost, this is one of the biggest losses I've ever seen. It's like you could have made a million dollars. Instead, you had to pay 12. Oh, it's like Disney don't want to make money. Because I know that people would be like, what do you mean it's the most successful? And I'd shut up. It would have been way more successful if it was well written. I'm just thinking about the future. I should not have killed him. Maybe making it all of the stuff they were putting out was gold. People would be obsessed with it. They'd be talking about it. Those people who aren't even... We would. We'd be like, man, I can't... Yeah, I can't wait for the next show because everything they make is good to okay. It's like they've legitimately forgotten that franchises start up somewhere. You know, like Arcane as an IP? It's like a lot of people wouldn't even know it has anything to do with law until someone tells them. It didn't have like the ben... Like that name is going to get around the more they have good seasons and the more people be drawn in. Like Star Wars can always do that. It seems to be relying almost exclusively on people who even know it exists anyway and are just watching it for that reason. I saw an original sci-fi series a while ago. Honestly, quite a lot better than what we saw today. And it didn't get around. It was called Another Life. Quite a lot better. It has not started honestly yet. Quite a lot might be pushing it, but like better, easily better than Episode 3 at least. Maybe probably worse than Episode 1 and maybe on part of Episode 2. You could say anything and say it's better than this and I'll just believe you. It didn't start a franchise. In fact, it was cancelled after two seasons because no one gave a shit about it because it was bad. Episode 3, everybody. And that was funny clip Another Life. Episode 1 was not good, but not terrible. Episode 2 was terrible, and this is just a disaster. Yeah. And so I'm going to get worse. Imagine what 4, 5, and 6 have in store. Oh, one of them. I'm going to be honest. I think they're going to have to try to get worse than this. That's bad, but you know. It's going to be bad. Have some faith, right? Maybe they did it right. I do think it will be uphill from here. It's got to be uphill from here. Should be the next episode we'll have five writers. Maybe. Ooh, that means it'll be even better. The writers? Five. What if one of them actually had a really great story to tell and is super talented, but the other three dipshits in the room wouldn't let them get the ideas down? Three of them have really good stories to tell. Oh, and the one was just that bad? Or they had the most influence? Okay. I could even see a scenario where all four of them had great ideas and great stuff that they wanted to do. And then the studio was like, hey, you all guys need to work together. Oh, I like that idea. Put this in here, but incorporate this other idea as well. That's what we want. Like I could see that happening. Yeah, like Master Chief, he'll be a special foreigner guy. Yeah, not all humans will do that. And then we'll take this part over here and we'll just combine them all together. And then Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader, they meet at night in the dirt pile and then Obi-Wan runs away and it's great. And we'll have the music and it won't even matter because we're showing Darth Vader. And it won't even matter. And it won't even matter. Yeah, it won't even matter. Bye, bye. Don't fly. I know that you watch these to control your pain. Well, that was great. I guess we'll see everyone later. Bye. Can you maybe talk about sort of how you went about developing Vader's physicality in the armor? Because this is a character that existed before I was even alive, there's just a continuity there that we needed to adhere to. So I think we all felt it was very important to get that right. And Debra had a Vader specialist movement on set for us to make sure that everything sort of rang true. We've never seen Vader like he is in Kenobi. There's absolutely nothing funny about his entrance in this episode. I saw in his eyes, I saw the... That's fucking... Why'd you bring me?