 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents, Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Frankin. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Don't tell me you're finished with your newspaper. I'm finished. Well, miracle of miracles. You've only read it half an hour. It's the age of speed. Mrs. Norton, do you realize that the whole summer has gone by and we haven't been to the summer theater once? That is true. Please don't make it sound as if the whole summer has gone by and nothing is important as going to a summer theater has taken place. Mama, what was the important thing about this summer? You have added to the family. Mama means the rooster. Oh, oh, but he's such a little rooster. He hardly counts. And it seems to me I acquired a grandson sometime around the early part of July. Mama means Bobby. Such a little Bobby hardly counts. I think for an old lady like myself. Tottering. I think it's been a pretty full summer. Still, we haven't been to the summer theater. And it's practically just around the corner. Only 12 miles around the corner. Oh, that's a pretty near corner for Connecticut. Tell me this, what's the use of living in the country if you don't squeeze every last ounce out of it? Are you calling the Eastbrook Summer Theater the last ounce? He is. More than that, it's not summer without a summer theater. As long as we know it's there, it's summer. That's not enough for me. I have to see it personally. Don't tell me, Mr. Norton, that you want to go out for another evening's entertainment. Don't mind if I do. But just the other night, we almost went to the movies and now it's here. Claudia, don't look now, but I think your husband is turning into a very going out man. Darling, are you saying this because you think I'd like to go to the theater? That you'd like to go happens to be a coincidence. The fact is, I'd like to go. Honestly, you don't have to go for me. Can a man do what he wants anymore? I want to go. Gadzooks. I echo Gadzooks. Where's that playing? What's so startling about it? I like the theater. And I love the theater. It was my first love until you became my first love. I hope you're flat-head, David. My head has swelled, Mother. My hair hardly fits it anymore. As I was saying before you changed the subject, Mrs. Norton, I love the theater. And I propose that we go to the theater tonight. You mean tonight? What's the matter with... Night. Nothing's the matter with tonight. That settles it. On to the theater. Oh, I love things you do on the spur of the moment. They're much the best. Count me out. What's the matter with you, Grandma? I have to wash my hair. I put tonight aside to wash my hair. You're just like your daughter. Anytime anything important comes up, she washes her hair. You'll just have to go without me. Think you can bear it? We'll miss you, Mama. Good. A miss is better than a mistake at any time. Mrs. Brown, I would appreciate your coming. Claudia loves to have someone next to her to whisper to during all the exciting scenes. She's all yours, David. It's not true what you're saying about me. I never utter a peep during a play. Now do I? We shall see. David, has this business been brewing in you for a long time? My soul has been curdling with desire to go to the Eastbrook Summer Theater. I even married into the theater. That should prove my love for it. Into the theater? You married me right out of the theater. I wonder if I would have been a great actress. If you hadn't discovered me before I was discovered. Who knows? She was pretty good in dramatic school, David. Tragedy or comedy? It was a little hard to tell. I was reversible, like a raincoat. Good on both sides. Sometimes I feel conscience-stricken that my gain was the theater's loss. It's a heavy weight to carry, isn't it, David? Oh, I'm bent in two. I'm tired of talking about me. You always thought you thought you were a fascinating subject to talk about. Well, since we're all in a chord that I would have been the world's greatest actress, if I hadn't decided to be the world's greatest mother, we can go back to the subject in hand, which is, is we is or is we ain't going to the theater tonight? The meeting will come to order, all in a chord, signify by saying we is. We is. All opposed, say. We isn't. The is is have it. David, you don't think we ought to get tickets in advance, do you? I do not. It's one of his principles, Claudia. It's like reserving a table. If there isn't a seat for my wife and for me, a pox on the theater. If there isn't a seat, it's a good pox office. He told you she belongs on the stage. Well, since we're going, I have to comb my hair. By the way, what's playing? A new play. It's called Forever Noon. What on earth does it mean? That's what you are going to find out. Who's in it? Uh, your lady friend is in it. Which one? He has so many. Which one, David? You haven't forgotten her so quickly, have you? Blonde or brunette? Uh, it depends. Little cat. Stop pretending. You know I mean Victoria Manners. Oh, Vicki. You see, Mama, how intimate he is. He calls her Vicki. Oh, she's the leading lady tonight. What a stroke of luck. Eyes light up, Mama. Don't blame them. She is quite a woman. Sometimes I wish I were the kind of quite a woman she is. What for? What do you think what for? You're all right the way you are. It's not exciting. No, but I'm easily satisfied. That's good. Still, I'd love to be quite a woman. I stop worrying about it. I wonder if we'll run into Jim Varney. Oh, I expect so. It's his theater, isn't it? What is he, the producer or director? Claudia, you haven't seen him since the baby, have you? Not since he decided I was too pregnant to be an ingenue. You're sorry? What do you think? It is only from half past eight to half past eleven, darling. But Mrs. Norton, she's from half past eight to half past eight. Twenty-four hours a day. And since it's almost half past eight now, go comb your nose and powder your hair. We'll be late. And you don't have time to wash your hair. Well, we're almost here. Mid-makeup and mosquitoes. Hurry, hurry, hurry, David. Well, we've got plenty of time. Just take it easy. Heavens are lots of people here. And cars. Usually, in all the summer theaters I've seen, there are more people on the stage than there are in the audience. I hope we can get seats, darling. Stop worrying about it. We'll get seats. I mean, look, here's a place to park. Right in the middle of a ten-acre field, a cow pasture. Moo! You better not be so funny. We may have bossy in the back seat before the night's over. Here, step down. Oh, thank you. Listen, David, seriously now. How do I look? Let me take a look at you. For a girl in a cow pasture, not bad. Not bad? Is that all I look? Yeah, you look like you. What more do you want? Oh, lots more. Oh, dear, my hair's all blown around. Well, I like it that way. It is not stylish. I say it's all right now. Not too easy to please, as you said before. I wish you ought to be grateful. Look at the line in the box office. You worry about everything, don't you? Well, somebody has to. David, everybody's so dressed up. No. Now, you stand over there. We're going to purchase ourselves two seats in the third row center. Optimus. And don't move. How can I move? I'm hemmed in. Look who's here. Hi, Mr. Varney. Hello. Well, little lady, I haven't seen you around all summer. Well, I've hardly been around all summer. I must say you're looking fine, honey. I'm feeling fine. Thank you. How are you? I'm fine, too. That's good. Yes, fine. What's the matter? Is my slip showing? Was I staring? Well, I guess I was. And I didn't realize people would be so dressed up. You know, I hardly recognized you. I knew you right off. I was standing over there with the box office and I saw you coming. I stared for a moment and said to myself, Varney, old man, can this be Claudia Knotton? It was. Much to my surprise and delight, honey. Thank you. You know, I'm afraid I didn't realize you could look this way. You're so, um, slender. Oh, no, not really. I put an inch on around my waist. You did? Yes. Of course it doesn't look like much to you because the last time you saw me, I had an awful lot of inches around my waist. Was it a boy or a girl? His name is Bobby. Certainly wonderful what having a baby can do for a woman. You mean after she's had it? Yes, I suppose that is what I mean. I'm almost sorry I wasn't more foresighted. About what? Well, just professionally speaking. There have been a few parts you could have played around here. Oh, I've been awfully busy, Mr. Varney. You know, having a baby takes quite a while, even afterwards. And, of course, we were in New York. We haven't been back very long. I wish you'd have called and said you were here. I didn't think of it. Now I wish I had too. How's the play going to be tonight? Who knows? It's a tryout. You don't sound so enthusiastic. I have had the author on my neck at this first play. Oh, well, I think anything Victoria Manners is in is bound to be a success. Well, I hope you're right. The main thing about Victoria is that she has the author so terrified he hasn't been half bad about all the cuts and changes as he might have been. Well, I guess there's some good in everybody. You have a sharp tongue, too. What do you mean? Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. Claudia. David, you remember Jim Varney, don't you? Well, I certainly do. Hello. I was just telling your wife it's good to see you again. It's good to see you. Looks like you're having a very successful summer. No tickets, David. No tickets, not a one. Oh. Well, isn't that wonderful for you, Mr. Varney? You don't mean that we're sold out. That's what the man behind the bars said. Well, I guess you might as well go home, darling, and sorry. Oh, don't be silly. How are you supposed to know? David, aren't you delighted for Mr. Varney that the theater's going so well? Oh, pleased as pie. I don't think David's as delighted as you are. I think he has the layman's point of view. We people of the theater appreciate good box office more than anything else. I hope we call you. Yes, we do. We? And don't look so discouraged. Jim Varney always has an ace in the hole. Well, aces aren't going to do us any good, Mr. Varney. A couple of seats in a third row setting. On thin air? Here are the tickets. They're yours. Oh, I always keep a couple for special friends that might drop in. I'll take them, you two nice people, but be sure you laugh in the right places and clap where you should. I'll clap until my hands are blistered. Look here, I want to pay for this one. No, you owe me nothing, but I owe you something. Us? I owe you congratulations. Oh, you mean my son. Oh, no, anybody can have a son, but Mr. Norton, you have a wife. And she's quite a woman. Yes, quite a woman. All right, now have a good time and maybe we'll get together after the show. Well, thank you. David, don't look at me like that. I'll look at you any way I please. Is anything wrong? When a man has a wife who's quite a woman, nothing is wrong. Then I am quite a woman after all. Why do you think I married you? The very thought of having a party is enough to give some women the jitters. They look ahead to planning, shopping, preparing food and serving, and the pleasure of having people come over is almost gone. They could spare themselves the turmoil by having simple food plus plenty of ice cold coke. Everyone likes Coca-Cola and the pause that refreshes puts people in a party mood. And the smiling, untroubled hostess is the first rule for a successful party. Do your entertaining with Coca-Cola and watch the pleasant results. Say, Mr. King, why didn't you warn me? Warn you of what, Mr. Varney? Well, about Claudia, I had no idea that she was so... well, you know. Well, live and learn, Mr. Varney. I'm awfully glad I did. And don't be discouraged with yourself because you think Claudia pulled something over on you. David's still learning, too. He's going to have a fine lesson tomorrow. What kind of a lesson can a husband get? A baseball lesson. Yeah, and get a few pointers for yourself. Oh, I think I'd better. Oh, hey, it's curtain time. I'll see you, Mr. King. You bet, Mr. Varney. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying, or of war. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be. When you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. These broadcasts are adapted for radio by Magna Star. And the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.