 I will make a promise that, I'm gonna say this, make a promise that within the next five years, I'm gonna say that until like 38. I will wait on having a kid on my own and see if I find someone else like a guy to have kids with in that timeframe. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy tell me how you really feel cause I just wanna build with you. Black girl tell me how you really feel. I wanna keep it real with you. I wanna live better, eat better. I wanna love better, sleep better. Yeah, I wanna feel so aligned. Earlier you mentioned, you've contemplated, you've thought about if Push comes to shove, I'm gonna just go have my own kids, right? Obviously I'm against that, a thousand percent. And the reason I'm against that is cause I don't wanna continue to see black people replicating the traumas that we experienced. Right. So in as much as a lot of women these days think, oh, I don't need no man. I can be mom and dad and all that bullshit. Your kids need a father. The kids at some point are gonna come to you and be like, who's my dad? Oh yeah. Where's he at? And even if it's from a sperm bank, they might spend half their life trying to track that. So like, I think you've thought about that. What are your thoughts? I don't want that. I don't. I really don't. Like the sperm donor thing is my last resort. But you know how women, we have a time clock basically. Cause our bodies literally are on a time clock. There's only but so many times we can actually get pregnant by a certain time, we can't do that anymore. My family, unfortunately, we start our cycles early. We end up kind of early too. I'm now in my early thirties. So I literally have all of my thirties and then a few of my forties to have children. If there's not someone who's, I feel like capable to be a good partner and a father, then I'm going to go for that. And that's because one of my dreams is to be a mom. I currently am a God mom. I have two beautiful God kids. I love them like they're mine. And like I just had them with me Thursday and yesterday, they were, you know, over my place. And when they go home, a lot of times I'm like, I don't want them to go home. Like I really seriously love children. And I want to experience that in my life where I can be a good mom and show my children the things that, you know, like I didn't get, you know, and kind of spoil them with love and affection and, you know, take them traveling. And I like to see them learn and become the person that they're supposed to be. So I want a hand in that. And I want to experience that from birth until whenever. Can I push back? Go ahead. I think unfortunately what's happened is, because I'm a dad and I have a daughter. And we have, and I think social media is guilty of this too, we have romanticized parenthood. Oh yeah, yeah. And we've romanticized it so much so that we've reduced children to like an advanced puppy dog, right? And what I mean by that is that my child is more so an instrument of my validation, an instrument of me scratching this maternal or paternal itch as opposed to my legacy, right? And therefore we don't necessarily prioritize the things that make sure or give them a better shot at being healthy and happy kids because it's more about us being able to raise somebody. And it doesn't disservice to the kids. And I think that's what happened with our parents' generation. Like they didn't think the shit through and then we're fucked up, right? And then a lot of us not thinking shit through and we gonna fuck up the next generation. So like, I don't think it should be an option at all. I think, if you said to me, listen, Alan, I'm willing to have a child outside of wedlock. Cool, I'm with that. And in that case, it would just be, make sure the father is somebody who's responsible. Because that's my situation, right? Yeah, yeah. But if you're saying that you want kids, black kids, because they're gonna be black. Yeah. And for me, black boys and black girls in particular to grow up without any father, I seen that play out terribly. Regardless of how good the mother claims to be, you could be super mom. But statistically, your son is more likely to end up in prison. The daughter is more likely to end up at the strip club. And for me, that's unacceptable. So, like I said, one of the things I've talked about, and I don't know if we have time to really go into it, I think as a generation moving forward, we're gonna have to renegotiate monogamy. I don't think the, I'm not gonna say I don't think, I don't know if marriage and long-term partnership can work like it has before. Because this is originally different, right? So with that being said, like, it might be multiple homes, right? But I still encourage us to be responsible adults and responsible parents, as opposed to the dysfunction of old where you have mom and dad were there, but they fucking hated each other. Dad was a drunk, mom was doing this and this. So I'm willing to renegotiate what partnership looks like. But kids need two parents. Yeah, no, I'm not saying they don't. And they need a village. Fuck two parents. That's the minimum. Yeah, I know. They need a village. That's what my godmother. And I helped with that. So how do we, again, I'm not even going to the pro-black shit because most people don't care that much. But how do we guarantee that the next generation of black kids are like good and not all these fucked up that we are? Treating them like people. Stop looking down on them and thinking they don't know what they want or that their emotions are not valid, you know? Or how we treat them isn't hurting them in some way. So for instance, my godkids, if I'm wrong and I do something and I get them in trouble or something like that, and I shouldn't have, I apologize to them. I'm like, I am so sorry. I did not realize that XYZ or whatever. And I always ask them, how are you feeling about this? Do you care that I'm doing this for you or that how I said that to you or whatever? How are you on it? And they're vocal about it. They actually know I listen to them. And I think one of the main things that we need to do is listen to them. Just because they're little people does not mean they don't know what the heck is going on. They know. So a lot of, especially when I was growing up, people would say, oh, you're just a kid, you don't know. That is not the case. And that's what creates the adults that we are now because apparently when we were kids, what we thought didn't matter, you know? But yeah, we're the ones in the future running all these things. So how do our thoughts not matter, you know? And I say to people all the time, us adults, we're literally just overgrown kids with responsibilities. We still think a lot of times the way that we were when we were children on some topics, we still might even watch some of the kid shows that we used to watch. I mean, I still watch some of the kid shows I watch. I still act like a child sometimes in certain situations. That's just because childlike manner is actually freer than being a stuck-up-ass adult. And sometimes I don't want to think about the bills, you know? I'm like, you know what? If I get, I don't want to think about that right now. I'm going to go have some fun. I'm going to go on the playground. I don't play around, you know? My mom and I go on playgrounds sometimes. We swing on swings. You know, it's that kind of lifestyle. And the kids need to see you as a person. Not as, oh, my parent is like this stuck-up person. And they don't like when I do this or don't like when I do that. I can't talk to them about certain things. Be open. Show your children that you want them to come to you and talk to you about stuff, you know? That it's OK to mess up. We all fuck up at times. Like, it's going to happen. We're human. We're supposed to learn. But please come to me about it, you know? And don't just completely just say to them, oh, I'm going to beat your ass because, you know, you did this. Sit them down and ask them, why did you do that? What was going on in your head at the time? Like, can we understand? Can we come to an understanding of each other, you know? And I do that to my guy kids all the time. I'll say this. You're a woman, so a lot of your approach is very feminine. Right. And I appreciate that. And I think there's a place for that now. I think you'll have a unique perspective on this question. As a woman who didn't grow up with a father, and because of that might lack an appreciation of, like, what masculine energy, what fathers bring to a kid's life, or brings to raising a kid, why do you think fathers are so vital? I think fathers are vital because there's a sense of protection that comes from the masculine energy, you know? And I feel this as a woman, you know, a guy who brings that masculine feeling towards me. I feel like I can relax, kind of. Like, I don't have so much going on inside of me. I just can just be, you know? And I feel like a lot of times children need that too, especially girls to their dads, you know? They feel like, oh, my dad always has me. He's protecting me, no matter what. And I actually believe, even though I grew up without a dad, I preferred. Like, I would have loved to have my dad in my life because to this day, if I feel like I need a man in my life for anything, I go to my brothers. I go to my dad, my grandfather, honestly. Like, I go to them and ask them for their male perspective on things. Or if, like, for instance, if I needed to move, a lot of times I would prefer to have a man to help me out. But that didn't happen one time. And I had to move all my stuff by myself. That was, yeah, very unfortunate. I cried after that. And I was like, man, I want a man so bad. So stuff like that is very, to me, very important. And I mean, women say all the time I can do this, I can do that. But honestly, it's easier, a lot of times, with someone else to help you out. And I want an easier life, a more complicated one. So I'm not against it, you know? Like, this whole thing, we're talking about having a dad or not having a dad. I'm not against it at all. I am just stating that if it does not happen, that's some of my options. I don't want to leave this earth and not continue my legacy. I would rather you get with a long-term friend and be like, hey, bro, if we hit 35, you know what I'm saying? That's been two years for me? You know what I'm saying? I don't know how far they've moved back the clock, but we need to make something happen. Because for me, not having a father for a kid should never be the out. I've actually thought about that, honestly. So the guys I usually end up having situations with or whatever, I always think if I were to get pregnant by him, what kind of dad is he going to be? And I've been with dads, actually. So, well, not all the time. But you know, in my late 20s to now, I've been with guys who have been dads or ended up becoming dads or whatever. And all of them are great dads, really good dads. Whether they're good partners or not, they're wonderful dads. And I don't mind being the baby momma, basically. I know they would actually have my back on certain things. I know that my kids would be great. And they could say, hey, I'm going to my dad's house. And I'm like, OK, that's fine. I'm not that type of person that's going to be like, no, you can't do that because we're not together. And whatever the situation is, my kid, they want a dad. I mean, look how they need a dad. They absolutely need a dad. A father. I do believe that there needs to be at least two parents in a household. And there is definitely needing to be a village to help keep kids. So I already got the guy momma lined up, the aunts, and all that stuff like that. Now I've just got to wait on that. And my thing, too, is these days, I've even seen some women say that the kid having a dad isn't necessarily important because I can find one of my brothers or one of the guys in the community to pick up that role. And I always, like, face palm. Like, that's fucking stupid. But you can't think like that. Like, you can't think they're going to pick up the slack. You can't expect that. It's like, you want to burden somebody else with a responsibility without any of the pleasure. Isn't it got to take care of your kid being a pussy? Like, that makes no sense to me. And you expect them to be enthusiastic about that. And then again, like you said, is anybody thinking about the kid and how this is affecting the kid? Exactly. Talk to this child, please. Like, they will tell you. Kids are very vocal about everything. And they have no problems with telling you. The older they get, the more they shut up. Because they realize, hey, I might not be able to say this. They learn. But when they're like, gosh, they'll tell you if you look good or not without you asking. Like, you're ugly, that kind of thing. So I mean, kids need to know that their opinions are important. They really need to know that. How can I get you to guarantee me? Because again, I don't give a shit if you get married. Yeah. I don't give a shit if it's a successful romantic relationship. What I give a shit is those kids have a dad, that daughter as a dad, the mini you, or the mini male version of you as a dad. That shit is vital, right? Yeah. So how can I convince you that that I'm going to do by myself is not an option at all. Take it off. Don't even speak it. Don't think it. Don't even whisper that shit. How can I convince you? No. I don't know. Because I'm thinking about all the guys that I'm friends with. And I'm like, I mean, maybe. Maybe. There might be like two. Maybe. I can see myself having kids with. But. And you might meet more people in China still. You'll meet people all the way and shit. But as far as I'm going to go to the sperm, because I'm hearing an uncomfortable number of black women in particular. Keep saying this shit. And I'm like, y'all. So, OK, OK. So I don't necessarily. I would, of course, love to be married before I have children. Would love to. One of the reasons why I haven't had any now, and I'm 33. But if it does come to the situation where I have a kid with a guy that I'm really good with in general, I'm OK with that. And we don't have to necessarily be married. That is actually something I thought about recently, too, by the way. And when I say recently, as in the past two years or so, I was like, hey, if I'm not pregnant with this guy, I'll be OK with that. And we work together. It was just one of those things of, I know we'd have beautiful children, and he would be a good dad. And I would be a great mom. And we can just go off and do what we need to do. Whether we marry someone else or whatever. But I will make a promise that. I'm going to say this. Make a promise. That within the next five years, I'm going to say that until, like, 38. I will wait on having a kid on my own and see if I find someone else, like a guy to have kids with. And that's it. I'm somebody who we're going to make this shit happen. So if you if you if it gets closer to that time, this is what I do. Because right now we've got like 40,000 subscribers. OK. But then we'll probably have a couple million. OK. You give me the profile. I want him to be this tall, this complexion because he's going to be black. I like him like. You give me the characteristics. I will put out a call. And we're going to find you a black man who, even if he doesn't want to be with you. Yeah, I'll be a part of that. They're young. We got a we got at least vibe really well. I want to at least be good friends. Oh, what's up? Some shit with y'all could vibe. Take all the vibes. You know what I'm saying? But as far as it's going, there's a sperm bank and potentially getting a serial killer DNA. Oh, no, no. Yeah, we're not doing that. Yeah, I want to do that. Deal. Yeah, deal. OK. But y'all don't care. Dang it. I can over six feet tall. Oh, God. Good money, nice smile, beautiful hair, you know, all that kind of stuff.