 The story of Dr. Kildare. Whatsoever house I enter, there will I go for the benefit of the sick. Whatsoever things I see or hear concerning the life of men, I will keep silence thereon, counting such things to be held as sacred trusts. I will exercise my art solely for the cure. The story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayres and Lionel Barrymore. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer brought you those famous motion pictures. Now this exciting, heartwarming series is heard on radio. In just a moment, the story of Dr. Kildare. But first, your announcer. It's Citadelle's of American medicine. A clump of gray white buildings planted deep in the heart of New York. The nerve center of medical progress, where great minds and skilled hands wage man's everlasting battle against death and disease. Blair General Hospital, where life begins, where life ends, where life goes on. It's your business, Jimmy, your problem. But if you tell Karoo you won't do it, you'll tear his gardenia off and stamp on it with both feet. Then look out for flying pedals, Dr. Gillespie, because I'm not going to do it. Well, now, now, he might stamp on you too. That I can't help. I've got a patient waiting in emergency. And as far as I'm concerned, that's more important than any of your specially conducted tour. Not to Karoo, at least not when a wealthy patron is about to make a donation. Well, after all, that's his problem. I'm a doctor, not a promoter. Jimmy, after all, Karoo is the superintendent of this hospital. You? Taking his side? I don't believe it. Well, now, I'm thinking of your career. Yes, sure. I never played hospital politics. You know, that's true. But maybe I should have. Look where I ended up. Only the world's greatest diagnostician. Too bad you couldn't have been a success. Well, but there are different kinds of success. Now, you take Karoo. You take him. All right, but... That's what I'm leaving right now, Dr. Gillespie. Just a moment, please. You do have a sign with Karoo. I know. Showing some millionaire secretary around the operating room. Sorry, I haven't the time. And precisely what is this case you consider so important, may I ask? Some poor fellow collapsed down the street, and they brought him in here a little while ago. He's still unconscious. Why, it's a heart condition, obviously. The intern can deal with it. It was the intern who called me, Dr. Karoo. He's scared, and I know how he feels. Well, I'll see you later. Dr. Kildare, I positively and absolutely forbid you. Did you see that? See what, Karoo? Insubordination, Dr. Gillespie. Ranked insubordination. Oh, nonsense. Kildare's a patient waiting, that's all. A patient? Oh, when I have a representative of Mr. Jeremiah Ramsey coming right here to this office any minute. Not really. Oh, you expect a half million donation or more, if we can show clearly the hospital needs it? Well, I've never seen a time-blare hospital, didn't you? But I was counting on Dr. Kildare to well explain things. I've been away from actual practice for some time, and after all, my talents do run more to administrative lines. Yeah, heaven help the patient who ever had to depend on your medical talents. See, the world Karoo, your millionaire secretary, is a parent. I wonder if I could prevail on you two. Don't look at me. But somebody has to convince her we need that donation. And since there are only two of us left. Hand me that stethoscope again, will you? Here you are, Dr. Kildare. It certainly isn't a hot condition, as Karoo calls it. You can take a look at that thermometer now. All right, Dr. The thing young Benton called me, if this had been handled as a routine stroke. 97.4. So normal. Let me see now. There's a slight precipitate beginning to form here. What do you think's wrong with him, Dr. Kildare? Well, it isn't a heart attack. I wonder if he could possibly come in. Oh, Benton, yes. Brought us wallet and things up from the office, Dr. Kildare. Is there any change yet? No, none of any importance. But I think I know what's wrong. Let me see now. Yes, if I'm right, there should be. Here we are. What is that? If a bearer is found unconscious, notify nearest physician immediately. Give no stimulants. Oh, that's what it is. Uh-huh. Diabetic coma. Parker, get 20 units of insulin from the dispensary. And hurry. Three operating room, Miss Mudd. Thank you, Dr. Karoo. And like the others, this room, too, is utterly inadequate. You don't say so. Oh, yes indeed, Dr. Kildare. As of course, you can see for yourself. Well, I don't know. I think you're underrating your institution, Dr. Oh, my dear. Look, the lighting. I'd say it was average. Possibly a little better. Oh, good heavens. No, the lighting over this operating table would never pass inspection by the state board. Indeed. Of course, it's nothing that a few thousand dollars wouldn't take care of. Oh, well, if that's all that's needed, then I would certainly think an institution this size could manage it somehow. Oh, well, that's only for this room and only for the lighting. Actually, the whole hospital is in horrible condition. Oh, Dr. Karoo, you must be exaggerating. Exaggerating? My dear Mr. Mudd, do you realize that our equipment is so obsolete, our supply is so limited that we're unable to maintain even the minimum cemetery standard required for law? Why? Oh, yes. Shocking. Dr. Karoo, I have never been so amazed in my life. Tell me more. Be patient. It's diabetic, you know. He gave in the regular insulin and a balanced shot of protamine zinc. Benton's staying with him, and I'm going back later. I suppose Karoo was a little put out. Only to the extent of turning pale, pink and calling it rank in subordination. You'll probably tear my insignia off in front of the assembled staff. You mean, you've got to learn to take these things more seriously. Oh. Well, true enough, Karoo is an imbecilic nincompoop. Granted. But nevertheless, he can do you a lot of harm professionally. Look, Dr. Gillespie, you know I went into medicine for several reasons, but mainly just because it's the best way I know of helping people. And as far as I'm concerned, the only professional harm that could happen to me would be to change that idea. Till there, that's rank idealism. You know where I learned it. If you mean for me, that's different. I've been at this hospital since time immemorial, so I can afford to be a cantankerous rebel. You can't. Maybe not. But I still believe the first consideration in medicine always is the welfare of the patient. Sure, I agree with you, but... I know the hospital needs money, too, and unfortunately a big part of it has to come from donations. OK. But I still think... I have no argument with you at all. You're absolutely right. But confounder, why can't you be a little more diplomatic with Karoo? You really mean that? Well, of course. I... well, I... Oh, pull his whiskers. I don't care what you do. Well, I'm back, Dr. Glesby, in case you need me. Parker, every time you're away for an hour, I'm reminded just how little I do need you for anything. Well... You would make a good, horrible example for Karoo's sales talk. Why, Miss Mudder, take one look at you... Miss Mudder? Quite a name, isn't it? And Karoo thinks that she's a representative from his wealthy patron. Why, yes. Come on, Dr. Glesby. Before it's too late, we've got to find Karoo. She'll be back later, of course. She was most impressed by the things I told her. Yeah, imagine she was. Well-killed, eh? Just what kind of things did you tell her, Dr. Karoo? Well, now, of course, I may have gilded the lily, Dr. Beat, over-emphasized the run-down condition of our equipment. He hid it slightly irregular. It is now ethical standards due to lack of funds, but all in the good cause, Dr. Kildare. If I may take occasion to remind you... I see. Then I take it you're entirely satisfied with what you've accomplished. Feel now that it's just as well I didn't talk to this woman. Well, Fabio, for me, Dr. Kildare, but I really do doubt that you could have done quite as good the job of selling. Go on, Kildare. Slip in the business. I can't wait. Slip me the business? Dr. Karoo, you'd better hang on to something. You see, Miss Mud is not who you think. She's not? Well, then who is? I mean, where is Mr. Ramsey's representative? Well, it sounds very much as though he's the man I've had waiting downstairs in the lobby all morning. What? Anyway, I missed the grunnions and worried up that he wanted to look over the hospital. And you kept him waiting all morning? We're ruined. Absolutely ruined. Well, that isn't the worst of it, Dr. Karoo. There's still Miss Mud. Oh, dear, I forgot her. And apparently you've also forgotten the announcement of her appointment a few months ago. She's one of the new examiners for the State Board of Hospitals. Really? Well, in that case, I suppose I'd better... Oh, heaven. From somewhere... But you don't realize all the things I told her? We can imagine. I said we were violating sanitary regulations, ignoring fire codes, paying no attention whatsoever to institutional law. But we're ruined. Absolutely ruined. Oh, I don't think it's that serious. She'll make a report to the Board of Regents. They'll throw you out, of course. Throw me out? But after that, things should settle back to normal. Normal, you say? Normal? Dr. Karoo, get a hold of yourself. Cast aside, I can hold you when my poor wife, she just ordered new drinks at the dining room. Fine, be nice to the new superintendent. After all the years I've given to play a hospital. This year's my life. Oh, Dr. Kildare, it's all your fault. My fault now, really? I'm kind of tired of waiting down there. My name's Grunyan. Mr. Grunyan. I just now learned of the atrocious treatment you were given this morning. And I want to offer you, may beg you to accept my abject apologies and humble assurances. Stop licking Mr. Grunyan's boots. What's wrong with him? One of the mental cases? No, no, no, no, Dr. Karoo is our former superintendent. He's... You're kidding. No, really, you see, he takes the patient's trouble so much to heart that sometimes it's just too much for him. Now, wait now, Mr. Grunyan, if you don't mind waiting outside. I'm sure he'll be all right in a few minutes. But I've been waiting all... Well, now, what are we going to do? Karoo, you're up. To kill the air in just a moment. Dr. Gillespie, I'll give you 10 to 1. We made a mistake in letting Karoo go off along with that Mr. Grunyan or Grunyan or whatever his name is. Well, I don't know how we could have stopped him, Jimmy, without locking him up. I guess not. He's all set to die for dear old Blair to make one last gesture and hand over a half million dollars along with his resignation. Ah, the idiot. Well, I've never seen anyone else in my life who could blunder into as many ways of doing the wrong thing. He's a biological paradox. The only example known to medical science of a living human being born without a brain. What are you talking about, Dr. Gillespie? My mistake, Jimmy. He is one of two examples. Well, what do you want, Parker? You don't have to shout at me. I don't even have to put up with you. Well, it's all right, Parker. He just has another mild case of Karooangitis. Crew and what? Never mind. How's the diabetic in 508? He's conscious now. That's what I can't let you know. Good. Dr. Benton said to tell you that he's responding normally and can probably have something to eat about 2.30. Fine. I'll drop by to see him right after lunch. Which, by the way, is a good idea. Well, my dear doctor, shall we go across to Sullivan's and risk tomean poisoning again? No, you go ahead, Jimmy. You go on. I've got a halfway idea how we might straighten out the blunders Karoo made when he talked to Miss Mudd. Now, wait a minute. You're not starting to come up with brilliant schemes, too. Well, no, something has to be done. All right. Tell her the truth. Ah, it isn't quite that simple. It could be. You just leave it to me, Jimmy. Ten minutes, conversation. I'll have everything all fixed up. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. Parker? Huh? Parker, I'd like your opinion about something. Oh, I, of course, stopped to kill there. Tell me, what do you think of a man who's prone to go off on tangents and violate his own principles? If you're talking about who I think you are, well... A man who has repeatedly claimed that a staff doctor should concern himself only with the medical affairs of the hospital and should stay away from the... Fiddlefaddle, I think that's what he'd say. Yes, stay away from the fiddlefaddle. Thanks, Parker. Ah, fiddlefaddle. And then when you find that man doing exactly the opposite from what he believes... Well, how can you explain it? Well, I guess you just can't, Dr. Kildare, unless, of course, he was born without a brain. Born without a... Parker, you get out of here. Go on. It's in subordination, Dr. Rankin subordination. Well, give my regards to Karoo when you get out on that same limb with him. I'm going to lunch. I think over this operating table is... You see? Well, now I don't know Dr. Karoo. It looks all right to me. Oh, my dear sir, it's frightful. Really frightful? Of course, it's nothing that a few thousand dollars wouldn't take care of. Two thousand dollars, hmm? That's only for the lights and only in this one room. I see. Well, it sounds like the place isn't pretty bad shape. Of course, a half million isn't really very much to a wealthy and generous philanthropist. No, I suppose not. You know, Dr. Karoo, I'm frankly amazed. I had no idea the conditions were so bad here at Blair. Mr. Grunion, you've only heard the beginning. Just wait until I get through. Dr. Gillespie, do you mean to say that you went without your lunch and waited here for me to get back in order to tell me that? Well, now I think the information's fairly important, Miss Mud. And of course it'd be impossible to tell you in front of him. I see. Well, I imagine it might have been a good deal more shocking if I weren't partly prepared for it already. I suppose you are quite sure. Oh, yes, of course. Ordinarily, it's quite normal, but he does have these spells when he gets none other than a walnut grove. Of course, we've all known about it all these years, you know. Well, shouldn't something be done about it? I mean, after all, the superintendent of a big hospital like this... Oh, he's perfectly harmless, yes. The only symptom is that pessimism you saw this morning. He thinks the whole place is falling to ruin when actually it's running at the top efficiency. Amazing. Better. Dr. Gillespie, do you know that this is the most remarkable institution I have ever seen? Yes. How's our patient? Well, Dr. Kildarey... Oh, man, I'm quite capable of answering the question for myself. Oh, you apparently are. Feeling all right, eh? I haven't felt better since my 62nd birthday. Thanks to you, joint old. Oh, well, you've been told wrong. Dr. Benton's your physician. I'm only a consultant in the case. Hmm. Thanks to both of you then. Dr. Kildarey, if you're going to be here a while, I think I'll grab some lunch. Sure, sure, go ahead. His response has been completely normal. I gave him 10 more units at one o'clock in order to standard DV lunch. Do now. All right, Benton. See you later. Heh. Talk about a man like you, uh, dad blames specimen under a microscope. Oh, but you're a live specimen, at least. Eh, good point. Very good point. Of course, you won't be long if you go around skipping your insulin shots very often. Well, a man gets careless at my age. I know. Or a snap gets to be a dad-lame fool. You wouldn't know. Oh, well, I'd say you're a long way from being a fool. Hmm. Flattery, that's all. You a staff doctor here? Guilty, Your Honor. Getting rich out of the magic. Oh, yes, yes. I have a private annex at Fort Knox. Hmm. Young man, I suppose I haven't been a half block from a hospital when this happened. But you were, so why suppose? Yes, imagination's a bad business. Have lunch with me, young fellow. I always hate to eat alone. Sure, I'll have a cup of coffee. I like to watch a convalescent patient eat. Means he's recovering. Means you'll get rid of him that much quicker, too. Oh, oh, oh. You know something, young man? Hmm? I think we understand each other. And you know something else? I think I agree with you. Oh, Dr. Gillespie? Oh, who are we holding here? A consular war or a victory celebration? Jimmy, it worked like a charm, just as I told you it would. I see. Where are the sacrificial victims? Mr. Grunion is making a phone call at the moment. Ah, Miss Mud's gone after some forms to be signed. Dr. Gillespie's being coy, you know. He won't tell me what he said to her, but it must have been effective. I'll bet it was. And, of course, Mr. Grunion is thoroughly so. I suppose you gave him the same story you told Miss Mud earlier today. Oh, and even better one the second time. Everything is just wonderful, Dr. Kildare. Why, I'm even inclined to forgive your little Pactillo. Thank you very much, Dr. Grunion. Oh, come in, Miss Mud. I'll just leave these with you and you can mail them in. Oh, Miss Mud, I don't believe you've met... Oh, hello, Dr. Kildare. How are you, Miss Mud? You know each other? We met at lunch over at Sullivan's. Yes, we had a very interesting conversation. In fact, that's the only reason I'm giving the hospital a clean bill of health, so to speak. What? You see, Dr. Kildare told me the whole story. And after all, Dr. Karoo, I couldn't see any of those terrible conditions you tried to point out. Do you mean you already talked to Kildare when I was telling you about Karoo being a mental case? Dr. Killespie. Oh, yes. But I thought it was so cute to let you go on with it. Cute? Well, I suppose I really should go. Sorry to keep you waiting, gentlemen. Well, Mr. Grunion. Well, Miss Mud, imagine meeting you here. You two know each other. Oh, yes. We met at the medical convention in Albany a few weeks ago. Yes, we did. Yes, indeed. Yes. Well, Mr. Grunion, I do hope you'll be able to convince Mr. Ramsey of our need. Ramsey? Who's Mr. Ramsey? Why, he's the... He's your heaven's name, are you? Field Representative for the Panachmy Hospital Insurance Plan. Oh, dear. We have considered putting Blair Hospital on our preferred list. Oh, dear. But, of course, that's out now that I've learned about conditions. Oh, dear, dear, dear. Mr. Grunion, I think the boys have been giving you a rib. Maybe I can straighten the whole thing out. Well, I... I do respect your opinion, Miss Mud. Well, come on, then. Let's go find a quiet spot and reminisce about Albany. See you again soon, Dr. Kildare. I hope so. Goodbye, Miss Mud. Dr. Kildare, I... I hardly know what to say. Karoo, I think we both said too much already. Well, since everything seems to be taken care of, I guess I'll just get back to work. There's only one thing I'd so counted on that donation for Mr. Ramsey. I wonder what could have happened to his... Ramsey? Oh, Dr. Karoo, I almost forgot. Mr. Ramsey should have all the arrangements completed and a check deposited to the hospital account by, uh, oh, the end of the week. What? Dr. Kildare, how do you know? He told me a little while ago. Soon as he recovered from his diabetic coma. Oh, no. You mean that emergency patient in 508, the one that I... the one that you... Oh, dear. He seems to be highly impressed by our efficiency and our concern for the welfare of the patients. Maybe overly impressed. I must go and lie down. I must go and take an aspirin or something. I... Well, then, Jimmy, Dr. Gillespie, I was just lucky. Confounded I... No, don't say it. But I... All right. To the story of Dr. Kildare. Now for the state hospital board. If you'd like to sign them, we'll get them sent off. Love to sign them, Jimmy. I hope you've included our best regards to Miss Mud. Oh, yes. And close to personal note. Personal, huh? I hope you asked her to say hello to Mr. Grunian, just in passing. Maybe it's some Albany convention. I, uh, mentioned his name. Good, good, good. Well, here you are. And may they both rest in peace. Allowing for your exaggerated metaphors, I guess I agree with you. A mix-up like that once a year is plenty. Dr. Gillespie, there's a Mr. Beetlepuss here to see you. Beetlepuss? Never heard of him, Parker. Well, he says he wants to look over the hospital. Over the hospital? Well, because he works for the phone company, and he has to know where the new telephones are supposed to go. Jimmy, you go with him. Not me, Parker. Take Mr. Beetlepuss upstairs and introduce him to Dr. Karoo. Mr. The Story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayers and Lionel Barrymore. This program was written by Les Crutchfield and directed by William P. Russo. Original music was composed and conducted by Walter Schumann. Supporting cast included Virginia Gregg, Ted Osburn, Isabel Jewel, Will Wright and Willems Herbert. Dick Joy speaking.