 I think I hear her saying is that she's really afraid of failing there's a fear failure attached to this fear so if you make one wrong decision you have not failed oh no but I have in my eyes and living as like a perfectionist right so if you make one wrong decision you you you failed well I'm trying not to put that kind of big of a title on it but you're saying I yeah most of the time that's what I feel like I mean those things that I've done wrong it's like it's hard to sleep at night sometimes so okay yeah no no that's a big one that's a really big one because now with that comes back down to self-value yourself value you your failure is a part of life and if you don't fail you will never go to the next level anybody in this world who's done anything great has well okay and we don't put a lot of money some of the best lessons I've learned in life have come from my mistakes have come from essentially my failures I will credit that but then there comes a place for you wonder what's next like you and your husband how do you bounce back from that because sometimes I don't trust myself to bounce back and of course that comes from self-worth so well when you were growing up if you did something wrong was there a punishment that was attached to it not necessarily you know when I