 A trauma bond is a strong emotional connection that occurs in abusive relationships. It's when, despite the mistreatment and abuse, the victim forms an intense emotional tie with the abuser. In our previous videos, we discussed the signs that you're in a trauma bond and how to recognize it. Now, let's talk about how to escape from it and be in the healing process. That's our topic for today. Recognize that you are in a trauma bond. In medicine and psychiatry, treatment always comes after a diagnosis. To heal a trauma bond, we must recognize the trauma bond. To know if you're really in one, check out our previous video, Signs of a Trauma Bond, Not Love. Trauma bonds were initially defined as an emotional bond between the victim of abuse and the perpetrator. The first step to healing a trauma bond is to recognize that there is abuse in your relationship. If you know that you have a trauma bond, there's a difficult but necessary decision to make. Abuse rarely stops. Abusers rarely change. To heal a trauma bond, you have to leave that relationship. If the trauma bond is with a family member, set boundaries and make space. Abusers benefit from trauma bonds and will be unlikely to allow them to heal as long as they are involved. Talk about your trauma. Not having the words to explain what's hurting you can be confusing and frustrating. Once you've left a traumatic relationship, those emotions that you have associated with the relationship won't disappear on their own. Discussing your trauma with a professional can help you find the words that will help you digest, comprehend, and come to terms with the abuse that occurred. Often, the trauma that we faced in our past haunts us in new relationships. Being open about the nature of the abuse you faced can clarify the differences between what an unhealthy and healthy relationship looks like to you. If you've suffered verbal abuse in the past, whether from an ex, a friend, or a family member, telling your new partner about it can help you set the boundaries you need to feel safe. By being open about it with the people who really matter to you, you can build a support system. Abusers will often try to control your other relationships. They will try to make it difficult for you to be able to rely on anyone else, in any capacity. This is why allowing yourself to rely on others is integral to healing a trauma bond. There isn't an exact number of friends that everyone should have, so we recommend reconnecting with friends and people who you may have been separated from through your abuse of relationship. Starting small allows you to slowly rebuild healthy bonds and platonic intimacy. Live in reality. Anyone who suffers from anxiety as a result of trauma may think this is easier said than done. Reality can be scary and miserable. The goal of being a way of reality is to avoid thinking too optimistically about an abusive relationship or too pessimistically about your healthy relationships. This can help you make decisions about your abusive relationship if you're still in one. On the other hand, if you have left an abusive relationship, it can help dampen your anxiety. If you worry about what could happen in your current relationship, try to look at what is happening now, whether good or bad. Focus on reality and address it for what it is, rather than speculating. Allow yourself to heal. The pain of your trauma is unique to you. Only you know exactly what you've gone through and how it has affected you. Allowing yourself to heal can mean a lot of things to you. You could be preventing healing by not acknowledging the abuse or by returning to the person whom you have this bond with. But don't feel bad, this is a difficult task. It will take time. Just by being here and wanting to learn how to heal, you have begun your journey. You have a great future ahead of you. Remember, only a real mental health professional can understand the minutiae of your situation. We highly recommend seeking therapy after an abusive relationship if you have the means. If you found this video helpful, please leave a like and subscribe to Psych2Go for more. You've got this.