 All right, so hopefully we got some work done. And now in the time remaining, which is about 40 minutes, we're going to talk about your work and your creative process. And anybody have any questions. Yes, we have a question from Melania. Yeah, Melania, how you doing. I am so happy that you're here again. Yes, that's great. Susan, let's see what is happening to me. I am at the beginning I was having this problem of writing, but now I have that courage and I am writing and I am going up and trying to do my work. And as I told you last time we talked is that I am taking a class in with an Argentine teacher is in Spanish the class, and I am writing their story is a theater play for children. Right. What is happening to me, what is happening to me is that I am feeling a very weird feeling about what happened is that I give the word to her, and he made comments, he made notes and I try to change with what she says, usually they are good notes. But this last time she I don't know why she didn't see my work or something. And so there was a week without any words from her. And suddenly I found myself stuck and expecting that note, you know, coming to me, and no, not writing. So suddenly yesterday I said no, I can't do this anymore. I'm going to write any ways. And I'm going to do it without any notes. But what is concerning me is this feeling of trying to impress this person. And this happens in my life usually that I try to, you know, that people like me and, but I don't like that. And I don't feel comfortable with that. And I want to create something that comes from me and find my own voice. And I am feeling that this help that I am looking for and sometimes it's getting in the way, but I want to learn. I want to do the work. I want to do it with help, but at the same time I'm feeling that in that I am losing myself trying to make the other person happy or to like me. So I don't know what to do in that I feel a little, you know, like a pandemic in my head again. So I need your help. So Melania how much longer is this class going to be going on. Maybe one more month, I think. Yes, let me see at the end of June. Okay, so it's like a month and a half. Is it, does it, did you meet every week. Yes, the idea is an online class and we have it like a forum. So I, I, she gives some tips and I give my work. She gives the notes and we work like that and it's going fine. What happened to me that when the system changed because I don't know what happened that she didn't see my work. I was sending email saying I, because I gave my work on time and everybody was having their notes and I didn't have mine so suddenly I felt so lost. Like, I don't know how to do it was something like being like a little child myself trying to feed in in the situation and I don't know what is that feeling but what I know is that in the middle of all of that. I was losing this opportunity of explore myself to know what the enthusiasm is. I knocked myself checking in the computer to see if I have the notes and it was almost. I didn't like it. I said I don't like this. So yesterday I did that I began to write again, but I would love to hear from from you what you think and how can I work on this because I want to write. And I want to do the work, but I wasn't looking for this it was something that suddenly I found myself in the middle of. Well, I wonder, you know, a lot of times we, you know, we think oh we need something like a car or dress or a pair of shoes or a spouse or a class, whatever. Because we can't get where we're going without that thing. I can't feel good without that pair of shoes, for example. Right. And then you buy him and you're like, right. But the are are are feeling of, I can't do it alone makes us reach out to certain things, whether they be people classes or whatever so I feel like you're in the middle of a process. Before you started that class, you were feeling like I can't do it alone. So you reach out to the class. Yeah. And now you it's, it's a. I mean it's not a bad class sounds like a really good class but it is creating a dependency. Yes, you know what I mean. And teachers you know they have their own schedules as you know their own lives and they might get your note I mean they might not get around to all the notes and all that so it's not about you it was it's just that it's creating, creating a to do your writing, you got to get my notes first because you're responding to my notes to write. Yeah, and what you're learning so you reached out to this class because you thought I can't I can't do it without the class. So what you're learning is. I can do it without the class. That doesn't say that you don't want to learn from someone who knows more than you, but you don't want to have this feeling of dependency, which means you might be out growing the feeling like I can't do it without this kind of help. So, I would suggest, you know, if you have how many pages you have to turn in a week. And it's, you know, it's, it's for sins. So, sometimes it's less than 10 pages is something is short. Great, great. So what you so you have to turn and then and then how quickly does the teacher send back the notes. I mean, it was very quickly happen then that the rhythm changes because as you say she has a life, of course, yeah. Yes, so it was I don't want this to depend on these notes in order to write I didn't like that about myself. Right so so Melania don't that's all I'm saying don't depend on them. You turn in your pages. Yeah, right. Say you turn in your pages on Monday. This is it. Okay, and then usually you turn in your pages wait for the notes to then we go forward right so instead we're cutting out the middle process. You turn in your pages. You start writing your next pages. Okay, don't wait for the notes. I'm not saying don't pay attention to the notes, right, but don't wait for them to come before you take action. Okay, so turning your pages and keep and then start writing Tuesday, you know, there's nothing that you're not waiting for anything. Okay, understand. And when her notes come whenever they come great, you might not read them right away. Okay. You got a lot of life, you got kids your homeschooling you got writing to do you know you might not read them right away maybe you're going to read them after a couple of weeks. The most important thing is that you keep writing. Okay, okay so what so just put some space in between it realize that it's the class seems very helpful. The notes seem good, but the dependency issue is not working for you. And so you're going to just put some space in between it. Okay, I like that. Yes. Okay. Thank you. It's so great to see you. All right, a couple more questions have popped up. We've got Marlene. Marlene Marlene. Hi Susie Laurie I'm so happy to be back with you. Former New Yorker now Angelino. So I have written this solo show and an in rehearsal with it now so part of it is really nice in that. I, and I don't say this lightly but like, I'm surprised that how good it is, like the text. Because it gives the performer away into it and they can do all these things. But, so I have that I'm at that point where everything seems promising and you can see. Yes I can see that this is going to be, I can see the whole. But there's a lot of work that you got to do to get to that whole still. And so sometimes I, I get really nervous one is, I think it's an issue about being seen. Because it's this idea of growing up I was like, told you got to be the best at everything that you do, but stay in the middle, because if you're seen then there could be some, you could become a target at some point. And then also like that when you, when you dive into the work you can take that joy but at a certain point like things don't work. So you're looking for solutions and things so I guess I'm asking like how to sustain or how to remember the joy even when I you know that scene just isn't working or you can't sort of live up to the scene anymore. I think what sounds great is that Marlene it sounds like you've written a beautiful piece and you're excited about it. You know, I am excited about it. Yeah, I think I think the tricky thing is, I mean it's not tricky really it's just how to maintain your enthusiasm while going to the next level. That's exactly it, you know, and how are you how are you with like lists you know I mean it seems like so the writing was a big huge ginormous thing you managed to accomplish it hooray. So if you go into the next phase are there I mean maybe they're like 20 things that you have to do oh my god and they're all like, and it's different from your writing head, you know, yes, which you managed to, to work with really well. So what about making just like a list, like, so what are the 20 things I got to do to get this project to the next level. You know, I got it doesn't have to be organized, you could just grab a piece of paper at longhand is really good, you know, or your notebook, the 27 things the 27 fucking things I got to do to get this, you know, I mean, you can just write him that they can be in any order it doesn't have to be organized or anything just write it get him out of your head on to the page. Then you look at it and go okay. These things take more than one step. You know. So maybe this is this one item is like three or four things. Right. Great, so you do that. Okay, so at the end of after you've worked on your list, you have a really comprehensive list and say okay. What can I do today. Do some of these things. There's something have to be done before something else happens. You know just organize your list. It's a different kind of brain than your writing brain. It's your producer brain. So just enjoy that. Yeah, no, it's true because the producer brain, usually it's the producer brain who has an idea and then the writer brain was like, wait, I got to do what. And the writer brain was like, I got this nice little thing and here you go and the producers like, Oh, shit, I didn't expect it this early. Right, right. Good. Yeah, so just have fun, have fun, you know, organizing it, you know, have fun in that producer brain. Yeah, it's going to it's going to be a good time. Thank you so much. We love a producer brain. Jennifer is next. Hi, it's so great to meet you Suzanne and to be around all this space where you know everyone's writing at the same time it's very encouraging. So I have a question for you. I'm working on a piece now. That's about a person who has lived. And as I was writing it, another issue sort of came to mind as I was writing it. I'm kind of stuck between being like true to the person's story but at the same time kind of going in this fictional direction. And I know that I can sort of say it's loosely inspired by this woman but I'm feeling a little bit like, I should be true if I'm putting it out there that people might think she actually did this and I'm kind of stuck between taking the store in the direction it seems to be going versus keeping it true to like her real life. I've never experienced that before. Have any thoughts about that. Oh, sure. I mean, I think it's, is she a known person like is she like, I don't know who's a known, you know, someone that we all would know and go, Ah, she didn't do that she didn't fly airplanes by herself or whatever is it is it that would the thing that you're into the elements that you're introducing would they get in the way of her story and just kind of pull focus. I don't think so I just don't think these are the issues she was passionate about but because she lived in a time when these issues weren't really at the forefront. But yeah she would be known in certain circles but not like a common household name. Right, so why are you introducing issues that she wasn't passionate about if you want to tell her story. It's because she, the subject she taught speech sort of relates to these issues of my like racial and cultural identity and I think they're just sort of things as a teacher that I'm sort of seeing with my students and they seem to be coming up but I'm wondering if maybe they should be in a separate piece and maybe not this piece. Maybe they should maybe there's another character who might embody these things in the play or this in the whatever you're writing. Sort of, I don't I mean, she, I, you know, if they're issues of the day that are thematically related to your character's journey, then maybe there's another character who is going to be is going to give voice, authentic voice to those things that you're interested in talking about rather than send, you know, shoving it all into your main character's mouth. Then just kind of a spokes puppet for some agenda that you've got or some interesting details that you found oh my God look at all this cool stuff that I know, you know, instead of having it be a real interactive thing between characters. I can see that. Yeah, that that's definitely more interesting to watch to then my back deck thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, and that's what other characters do in a play or novel or whatever they bring up those parallel universes or issues you know, so we leave them together like that. Yeah. No, thank you. I appreciate that. I've just been really kind of stuck on on that. So thank you. It's always good to hear from someone else because you're kind of stuck in your own head. I hear you. I've been there. Thank you. Thanks, Jennifer. Thanks, Jennifer. Sorry, I'm on two screens right now. But next we've got I'm not going to say your name right I'm so sorry it's V and E I K. Any I K. Are you unmuted. Hi, it's Vanique. Vanique. Sister Susan Lori it's such a pleasure to meet you. It really absolutely is a huge pleasure to meet you. Likewise, I'm a huge, huge fan of Venus. And I want to say that it's probably one of the one of the stories it's one of the paintings that remains in my life all the time I remember the first time I read it. If you don't mind me saying so there's there's something about that style that reminds me a lot about brother Baraka's work. I'm Mary Baraka and I am. Yeah, it's it's one of it's one of the pieces that stays with me all the time and now a question that I have. I've never seen it produced I've never seen a performance of it. So all I have about it is my imagination. And when I think about it I always think about how it must be choreographed. It seems to me that in my imagination, every move and every sound, it's been composed and and what am I trying to say here. I guess what I'm trying to get to is when you created that piece of work. Where were you in space and how did you get the mainstream theater audience or the mainstream theater producers to even entertain something that for me I think it's it's offside it's it's not something the mainstream theater would embrace. Where were you in that place. I love the question but because this is about your work and your creative process. Okay, all right. What we have to say is like, how word where where can one write something authentic from, and then how do you take it to the marketplace and get other people to do it. I think definitely and I think also being I think that's exactly the question. I think the one thing I would add is to be self aware that the paradigm is something other than where that thing comes from. Right, right. I mean, the authentic place is just, you know, you have to keep digging, you know, have to keep excavating I mean that play Venus took me a long time to write. I had many miss starts, but I was I guess aware enough to know that it just wasn't sounding right, it just wasn't gelling. You know, so I just kept digging because it just didn't. You play an instrument. My son plays violin but you know you hear when the notes aren't right and you have to adjust to constant constant even if you play a fredded instrument you're constantly adjusting. And it's that kind of thing that your ear is tuned you can you you're finding those notes. And so it's a process of that so you have to to write from an authentic place you have to continually. You're you know it's weird you're satisfied with your work you pat yourself on the back good job I did my draft and you're not trying to get it perfect. You're trying to get it just right. And if it ain't laying right as they say in music, then you got to keep working it right you got to keep you got to keep polishing that stone. Exactly, not to get it perfect, but just to get it to lay right. Okay, so there's that so to write from an authentic place. I mean, I wasn't thinking too much about like I got to do something out of the box or anything like that. I never work like that. I just think I got to tell the story the way I can tell it. So, so then the follow up to that is. So did you. Did you have to do any extra work to get the mainstream theater producer and audience to embrace it or to find interest in it. Yeah there's the that's a funny thing mainstream I mean, I mean, mainstream. Yeah, mainstream. I mean, it is done in, you know, it was done at the public theater then at signature from my retrospective you know it's been done in colleges. It has not been embraced by mainstream theater. Yeah, which I don't really care. You know what I mean, I feel like I told the story as best I could with the tools I had and did the story that I wanted to tell. I got it to lay right. You did. Yeah, and then if mainstream, you know, Broadway or I don't know what, you know, blah blah big time theater doesn't want to do it I don't care. That's not my that's that's, I think that's what's important to again to write from an authentic place to get it true to what you want to say. And then to kind of, you know, try to get it done sure if you want to produce somewhere's try, but don't despair if it is not found in favor by the commercial establishment. You know, I mean, you know, I mean, they're wonderful plays running, you know, big productions, you know, whatever when Broadway, you know, on Broadway and all that they're fabulous and everything. And there's a lot of shit. And so we don't we're not just trying to get up there into the river of shit. Sometimes we've got to just be. I mean, and also there's a lot of crap like off off off Broadway. You got to tell it true to what you want to do. You know, marketplace do what it's going to do. And so that's kind of how I work it anyway. I feel that. Okay, I feel that thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks. Great question. Thank you so nice to meet you. All right. Up next we've got Ray. Ray. Oh, are you in. Hi. Oh my God. Hi. This isn't actually the first time I met you. I met you actually in the lobby of the public public theater about a year, a little less than a year ago with them. With Diana son, and I freaked out Aaron Courtney introduced us and I lost my mind a little bit. It's so great that you're doing this workshop because one of the questions I have is that I'm about to graduate from college, my, yeah, my undergrad. I feel like not only have I sort of lost this great institutional support, but I'm also currently the theater community is sort of fallen into this weird anomalous space. And we are unable to gather and convene in the way that theater requires. So in times like this where so much of theater has been put on hold or has been forced to change and shift its form. Where do you find the discipline and strength to continue to propel yourself to write and produce work because I've been in a real slump for the past month as I'm trying to like crank out both of my thesis and I think that it is become so erratic so where where do you find the discipline. Yeah, that's a real that's a really great question. It's tricky you're in an institution in an academic setting where certain things are promised in return for the work. It's kind of like what Melania was talking about, you know, in return for her turning in pages, her teacher would give her notes, which is great except a link and a measurement of dependency is created. So in turn, so you're going to write, for example, finish your play, and you're going to get maybe a grade or a completed class or a diploma or something you're going to get right you're going to get that something, which is all really good. So make sure your program is a beautiful writing program or a program. The tricky thing is is that now or it's great because you're going to have to learn this and you might as well learn it now you're going out into the field. You're going back out into the field of possibility and potential and imagination, going out there so you've been in the, in the kind of the cloister right now you're going back out into the field. So you have to create, you have to establish or reestablish the connection between your work and what what's the payoff. It's not a diploma. It's not a grade it's not notes from a teacher. What is it right. It's going to give you that feeling that you're seeking. What is it do you think. It's not just that I derive necessarily a good grade or something from it but I also find an artistic joy in it and it's so crucial to who I am and for a very long time I felt like a constantly needed to write like if I was breathing if I was dreaming if I was drinking or I was writing like, and so I find that again. Right well that that's exactly what you need to reconnect yourself with just the joy the artistic joy of doing the work. Regardless of where it's going to get produced. I mean, and you know, because we have this community here there are communities out there there are different ways of making theater and connecting with folks and all that so it's not like we're unable to connect with each other, which is my first time I'm here I'm so grateful I didn't know. But you know, but there are lots of online communities now, but but regardless, put all that aside, you need to reconnect with that beautiful thing that's in you. If I were breathing if I were drinking water I would be writing like that. I think I love to do, regardless of what theater it's going to get produced in or what stage and what theater or who's going to direct it or what actress I'm going to find to start. Yeah, that's, that's not helpful, especially these days. Right. So, you know, work your play right your play right your thing and it does not have to be a play but work on your thing for the joy for the just the basic joy of working on it, and then when you gather in communities you can, you can share it and that's the next level of joy. Oh, I love that that they're different, they're totally different things. Sometimes, I feel like they're so intertwined. But they can totally be separate. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's the trap. That's the trap when we start intertwining them. And we connect good artistic feeling with. Did I get it on Broadway, or how much money am I making, or what are the numbers or how many viewers did I get in my from the show, the TV show I wrote, you know, how much money did I make what's the bottom line, opening, opening weekend in my movie. Did I make it, you know, that kind of thing we're connecting those things. And that's a false. It's not a helpful connection for artists for business people who count the beans and all that. Oh, yes, they need to do that. But we should not be creating from that place, because that I feel will just poison the well and that's part of what some of us are experiencing these days and we go. I'm having a hard time, because we connect that. And what we need to do is just, we just need to see that has an importance in a place, the commerce of it sure, but it's separate from the artistic thing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much great and come back we're here. Yeah. Thanks for coming right. All right, we've got just about five and a half minutes left. And I'm going to go to Richard. Richard, can you hear us. Richard. Richard. Okay, this again. Oh, I don't seem to see him anymore. Richard, where did you go. You can come back Richard and you have a question we are we are here for you. If you don't, we actually have a question that came into the public theater social media channel. Oh, good. I'm someone in the angle. And the question is how do you get unstuck. That's a great question. And I have like 100 bazillion ways to do this. What I would say is white when you when you ask that question, I would say stand up stand up and I talked about this for a while I don't have my little step stool but if you have a plastic step I have this plastic step stool which is in the kitchen right now and I'm not going to get up, but because I don't want to stop talking to you but it's, let me see. It's what I can do is I can stand up. I can unplug the, here we go. And I can come over here. I'll get the step stool. It's great it's this little cheap thing that you can see how big my apartment is that's where the kitchen is right there, but it's this thing it's this little see you've seen these on Amazon. And they're cheap. And I would say if you want to get unstuck, stand up, move your ass. And look, now I have a standing desk you see this. See, it's just like, can you see it. See, it's sitting on the table like that. So that's a really good way to get unstuck you move your shit around, you know. When I'm stuck, I start moving my shit around because it's like it's like you're sitting and all your energy is pooling in your legs and in your butt. Stand up. Now you're writing like this. Also, use a timer this is why we use a timer. Give yourself five minutes and say I'm going to write on my project for five minutes. Okay, that's it. Phew, I made it five minutes. It's like if you were training for a marathon. Right. And you didn't, you were not a runner, you go out and run for five minutes. Okay. And then tomorrow you do a little bit more and that and you need you build it like that. Okay, so I would say start moving your body around. Say, use a timer and get really short increments of time. That's one way that you can lower the bar. Talk a lot about lowering the bar. Right. Just make it manageable. A lot of times when we're stuck we're overwhelmed. You know, like Marlene was like I've written this beautiful thing and now what do I do. Ah, let's just make it bite size pieces. So we get up we move our body around. We use a timer. Small increments of time we work on maybe you can write five minutes, three times a day. Yay, that's 15 minutes. Okay, we also lower the bar so it can be shitty writing. Again, we're not, we're not talking about quality doesn't have to be. Oh my God, it's brilliant. No, it can be just bomb it. Okay, because you're working through stuff right. Those three things are super helpful and I've got like a million other things but those are the three things I you know look I'm standing now I'm not I don't feel stuck at all. I wasn't stuck before. Perfect. I love to stand this little right. Turn on some music. Right, you can also go for a walk where your mask, you know you can do some jumping jacks and play I mean, but it's always a good question to ask, because, you know, we are often stuck. Thank you. We got just about a minute left and Richard has returned. Yeah, Richard and see all right Richard. Are you unmuted. Oh, I'm having a struggle getting him unmuted. See him. There we go Richard. Hi. Hi. Thank you so much for what you do. Um, I've been writing writing writing, I reread it again, and it feels like it has nothing to do with what's happening in the world today. Right. And I want to run away from it. Right. Okay, feels irrelevant. Right. So what do you have to do great question what a great question so you've been writing writing writing, and you say that you read it over and it just doesn't feel like it's got anything to do with the world today. Right. It feels irrelevant. It feels like a lot of back it all be. That's it. That's okay. That's great but it doesn't feel now. It doesn't have to what what is now anyway. I mean, for each one of us in this group right now. Now is a totally different thing my now and you're now what I'm going through should I got an eight year old child who's up in here doing math at nine o'clock in the morning I want to go I want to eat you. You know what what is that relevant. I don't know that's what I'm going through. You know what I'm saying, you're relevant you're what you're going through is specific to your thing. Right. So, I would say keep writing and ask yourself maybe as you go along, what would make it relevant. Why am I not putting in stuff that's going on now. You know what I mean. Ask yourself those questions but keep writing don't let that nagging mean voice in your head. It's not relevant. Talk to the hand motherfucker. I got work to do. Right. Keep writing you're digging Richard. Right you're digging. So if you're digging trying to find that relevant thing keep digging. You're on a path. Okay. How many pages do you have. 17. Okay, so what if you get to like 25 and you find it. Yeah, yeah you heard of the gold rush right. Shit. Exactly. People out there looking for shit or like, like, like the underground railroad and shit. I mean people had to work to get shit right I mean it back in the day. Right. People had to work even even even even immigrants come into America shit they got it you know people got to like work. We forget that we come from people like that. Try to get to page 20. See what happens. Right. If you're trying to find that vein of gold that that that relevant thing you know you did keep digging. Right. Yes, and keep on coming back. Always, always, whether you come back here, or whether it's to your own work, keep coming back to your to this place where we'll cheer you on, you know, and we won't give up on you even though we can couldn't unmute you the first time. Right. And, and that is a reminder that we can't give up on each other, and we can't give up on ourselves and our creative process. And that's why I show up doing this show to remind us all of that not just you guys I remind myself to is 502 speaking I mean 602. Here we are standing at my desk at my desk. Yeah. So tomorrow is going to be Tuesday all day long. We'll be here as a reminder you can sign up to be inside of the zoom by 3pm Eastern standard time every single day on the public theater website and I will send you a link between three and 430pm Eastern, and we'll see you at five. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks.