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Joshua Braunstein, Saidu Tejan-Thomas, & Rob Gibsun - "Public Service Announcement" (CUPSI 2013)

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Published on May 24, 2013

Performing for Virginia Commonwealth University during the 2013 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational. VCU ended up taking 3rd overall in the tournament.

TEXT OF POEM:

Josh: This is a public service announcement
sponsored by Slam Nahuatl and the good folks at VCU.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the one they call Mr. Clown
but obviously that is not the name written on my birth certificate
the name is more intricate so

Robb: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF My name is—

Josh: Mr. C and now you know it's me
Too white to rap, so I had to call it "poetry"
No rhythm in my rhymes had to call it flowing free
Amazing Caucasian it's hard to stay on the beat....
beat, beat beatboxing
Vanilla Ice cold flow the heat's dropping
Addicted to diction now I'm detoxing
Fairly carry the Sperry's never Reebok-ing

[INTERLUDE]
Saidu: Now before we finish, let me just say
he did not come here to entertain,
did not come here to redefine your idea of a "White Rapper"
because to tell you the truth when he leaves here HE'S WHITE!
And I don't care what you think about him!
But when the poem ends and the scores go up,
whether it's 30 seconds or 2 minutes from now,
you'll never be able to say he didn't tell his truth JACK!

Robb: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF My name is—

Josh: Josh, they say I sound too white
I pronounce all my R's like I got AR's and AK's
for ridiculous retards with daydreams of an early grave.
Addicted to winning and women, staring at her fanny "mayyyy
day" she's going down on the clown.
I rose from a confused flow of urban and suburban sounds
confounded because my stomping grounds
were surrounded by a white picket fence
but my headphones played mad poems from Tupac and 50 Cent;
it just makes no sense.
So take a good hard listen to these words that I'm spitting
and ripping raised in a war of attrition since
Dr. Dre was my pediatrician, this shit is sickening.
I used to be Mr. C one of those nice guys.
Now I'm one of those fly guys they slept on after Five Guys, I
utilize pencil lead in a drive by, get high as a high rise
and write shit so dope it'll get your mom and your dad high.
Soon I'll be famous and all the pretty dimes will want to say "Hi"
take them all on a double date to Popeye's
compliment the color of their eyes
until they show me those breasts and their bare thighs!

ALL: OH MY!

Josh: I'm sorry if that was a bit too X rated I'm
Mr. C unknown, too young to be underrated
living life on the edge but this shit's getting easy to rip
like it's perforated.
But this is not the proper representation
of the poetry I want to write
to ignite the youth of this nation to inspire renegades
who choose pens like pins in hand grenades
over nooses and razorblades—

S: CLICK!
R: BANG!

[OUTRO]
ALL: naaa naaa whaaaat
naaa naaa whaaaat
Robb: Now everybody say!
naaa naaa whaaaat
Robb: Now put ya hands up!
naaa naaa whaaaat
Robb: You understand us!
naaa naaa whaaaat
Robb: Can ya feel it ya'll?
naaa naaa whaaaat
Robb: Can ya hear it ya'll?
naaa naaa whaaaat
Robb: Break it down now
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-NAAWHAT!

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