 Okay, so Irene says guy I was with was saying he was afraid of letting his feelings go Afraid to take a step even though he wanted to I pulled back when he when I did I met a wonderful man Now this other man wants me back because he feels more comfortable Well, and then that's a typical situation right so So if a guy's not stepping up and he's afraid and he's all that kind of stuff what ends up happening And usually what we end up suggesting which is the creating the abundance principle, which is exactly what you did You're like, okay. Well, if you're not going to I'm gonna go and find somebody who will and you found a great guy And so you this other guy ends up coming back because he's like no I don't want to lose you right and so This is typically what happens right so Just if you're watching this And this is a lesson for you because there's a lot of women that come to us and they're like, oh well This one guy he won't step up And so, you know, what do I do? How do I make him step up and the answer is that you don't make him step up? He needs to decide that he wants to keep you and that you're too important to him To let you go and then he needs to step up and the best way to do that is to To let him go and be like, look, this is what I want if you can't give that to me. That's fine But I'm going to move on with my life and I'm not going to get caught up Because what a lot of women will do is they'll just stay in the situation and the next thing you know, they'll end up You know being in a situation that they don't want to be in With a guy that they want to step up, but he's like, hey, I'm getting all my needs met. Why would I do that? and it's not always the situation that you move on and then the guy comes back, but You know, you're either going to get into a situation You don't want to be in or you're going to find a new situation that you do want to be in And so the best thing to do is let go And so Irene says, so how do I let him down without hurting him? I don't really want to tell him I met someone else because I don't want to hurt him. Well, here's my suggestion Stop being so worried about hurting him, right? He's people Fall in love they get attached to people and they get hurt. That's a normal part of life, right? And you can be compassionate with him, right? Like I'm not saying that you should try to hurt him But if you're with a new guy and you really like this new guy and you're not looking to get back with the old guy Then you have to let him know you have to let him know and just tell him and just be honest with him You know, and at the same time be compassionate to him and just let him know You know, it's it's really one of the best ways to do it is to is to compliment him first and just tell him that you really like him and you enjoyed your time being with him and You appreciate him coming back to you and stepping up But that you've already found somebody else and that Um, you know, you're really sorry, but you want to see how things go with this new guy that you're with You know, and and yeah, that sucks It sucks to hear that as somebody who connects with somebody and really likes somebody and wants something to work out with them But at the same time it's like He you know, he has to hear that and the sooner he hears that and he knows that you're not available And that nothing's gonna happen anymore the faster he can get over it and move on with his life Whereas if you just kind of hold on to him or you try to you know, sneak around it Or you try to tell him something that's not really true or whatever all you're doing is prolonging his pain and even making it so that he might end up having more pain in the future because He's getting even more attached because there's more time and and now he's he's trying harder and all these other things And so if you if you stop it at the very beginning, you're just like, hey, this isn't going anywhere It can't go anywhere This is what's going on then it's it's a lot better. It's actually a lot better for him, right? It's actually being a lot more compassionate to him. You're not gonna not hurt him. He's gonna end up getting hurt, right? He's he's already emotionally engaged in this and that's fine, right? He's a he's a grown adult He can handle it, right? And so you need to just be honest with it You need to be a grown adult a mature grown adult and let him know what's going on with you