 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, men don't fall in love this way, but women do. Why do women do this? All right, before we get started, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. I shoot about three videos a week for your enjoyment pleasure. All right, for your education, actually. All right, men fall, don't fall in love this way, but women do. Why do you do this? All right, so I've witnessed something, especially in the last few years, but particularly of late, that something's happened, is that most dating communication, most, excuse me, most communication in the early stages of dating and relationship. And when I say early stages, I'm talking about the first six months to a year, the first six months to a year. The majority of communication between two people is through this little device. By the way, I'm an Android, I know many of you are an iPhone. So, but through this little device, most communication is through this device. Many times it's not even telephone calls, it's text messaging with our thumbs. That's the majority of communication is being formed through our thumbs. And there's something, ladies and men, but particularly ladies, because I talk to women, you need to learn this when it comes to communicating with our thumbs. First off, human beings are terrible at communicating with our thumbs, okay? It's so difficult to get our nuances out, to get our inflection out, to get our body language out, to get our tonality out with our thumbs. And it's very difficult to get the brain wasn't designed to communicate with their thumbs, with our thumbs. And you might be going, well, Jonathan, why are you talking about this? Because I see this as a coach over and over again. Women send me text messages, text messages, text message of all this communication between men and they're attached to the guy, they're literally attached to the guy based on all of this communication. I then find out that they might have only met the guy one, two, three times in their life. And I go, how long is this communication been going on? Months. And I'm not talking about COVID communication. I'm talking about this as an ongoing thing. This isn't just because of the quarantine going on. These women could be in relationships for years with men that they barely have been in physical presence with. Physical presence with. And why I'm bringing this up is because all of this texting communication creates what's called false familiarity. False familiarity. You might think you're being intimate, you're being vulnerable. You might think that, wow, this is the safest person to talk to. Only to have them ghost disappear, being consistent, to be abusive, to be chaotic in their life. And then you're wondering what happened. And that is because men fall in love through experiences. We fall in love with doing things with you. I can't remember any telephone call or any text message I had with a woman that I'd been in relationship. I can't remember one single telephone call or text message I had. Except for one breakup that I had one. That was an intense one that went on for hours back and forth when we broke up over text. I remember that one. But all I remember, not what was said, I remember the ending. Why this is critically important is, but I can remember that time I went to Disneyland when I went to a woman. I can remember that time I went to Vancouver with someone special to me. I can remember those parties I went to. I can remember those physical intimate moments. Those are the things I remember in a relationship are the things we did together. Men don't remember any one of the telephone calls or text messaging. But sadly, many of you women, because you're getting this constant feed of attention through this little device, which didn't exist before. Oh, I got a text message. Which didn't exist before. You're falling in love this way, but men are not. And then you've been so conditioned to believe if men fall in love when they miss you. And that's bullshit. We don't fall in love when we miss you. Missing only triggers our wounds of abandonment. And it makes us temporarily rush forward, but that doesn't mean we're loving you. We fall in love through experiences. We fall in love with doing things together. We're building trust when we do stuff together. And if you're all you're doing is spending most of your relationship here, oh, another message. It's not real love. It's not a real relationship. And many of you have been falling into this trap of all this communication. Look it, think about that. Before these devices, we used to do stuff together. That was the only way to get to know someone before the internet. We weren't conditioned to communicate with our thumbs because 90% of communication is non-verbal. It's being in someone's presence. Physically seeing them and it's face time doesn't count. But it's tonality, it's pheromones, it's body language. All of these things make up communication. Our thumbs is the weakest form of communication. It's like trying to climb a tree. You can either use a rope or you can use a string. And I'm talking a tiny wafer string. That's what thumb communication is, a tiny wafer string. When you do things together, that's the rope. That builds up the solidness that you can actually climb this relationship. So I'm here to say, ladies, men don't fall in love through text messaging. Now, needy unhealthy men might get attached to you this way but needy emotionally unhealthy men break up just as quickly as soon as they're satisfied and whatever need need to be met at that moment because you're not building the real layers of trust by doing things together. Are you getting my message? Ah! Okay, wow. All right, I think you got the gist of where I'm going. I'm sure some of you might disagree with me. So let's hear about it. I wanna hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below. If it does resonate with you, if you learned something from this video or if you have questions, I do my best to read every single one of the questions and I even try to respond to them as well. Also, if you've been thinking about coaching to go, God, I can't afford it right now, check out the link to my group, Midlife Love Mastery or check out my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? Because when you love on yourself, all you don't even need to be following these videos when you love on yourself because the right guy is gonna come into your life because you are digging and loving on yourself. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do starting off with giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. I'm gonna ask you to give yourself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. I'm gonna ask you to turn the person the right and then turn the person the left and give them a bear hug because we can all use hugs because hugs is a great form of love. All right, I'm gonna sign off today wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye-bye now.