 Let's join in a moment of centering silence. And our in-gathering hymn is number 1058, it's in your order of service. Good morning and welcome to the First Unitarian Society of Madison. This is a community where curious seekers gather to explore spiritual, ethical and social issues in an accepting and nurturing environment. Unitarian Universalism supports the freedom of conscience of each individual as together we seek to be a force for good in the world. My name is Dorrit Bergen and on behalf of the congregation, I would like to extend a special welcome to visitors. We are a welcoming congregation, so whoever you are and wherever you are on your life's journey, we celebrate your presence among us. Visitors are encouraged to stay for our fellowship hour after the service and look for people carrying teal stoneware mugs. These are FUS members knowledgeable about our programs and community life, and they look forward to the chance to speak with you. You can also stop by our information table outside of the library, where you can find more information about our upcoming events and programs. In this lively acoustical environment, it can become difficult for those in attendance to hear what is happening in our service. So we remind you that our child haven and commons area are excellent places to go when someone needs to talk or move around. The service can still be seen and heard from those areas. We do have hearing assistance devices available. Please see one of our ushers if that would be helpful for you. And this would be a good time to turn off all electronic devices that might disrupt the service. Experience guides are generally available to give a building tour after each service. So if you would like to learn more about this sustainably designed addition or our national landmark meeting house, please meet near the large glass window on the left side of the auditorium. I would now like to acknowledge those individuals who help our services run smoothly. Your greeter this morning was Elizabeth Barrett, our ushers are Anne Smiley, Pat Becker and Wally Brinkman. We have a tour guide, Sarah Drake, and coffee is being made by Jean Hills. Please note the announcements on the red floors insert in your order of service which describe upcoming events at the society and provide more information about today's activities. And I have two special announcements. Requesting Gala assistance. We are planning a unfilled event, the right of the roof gala, on October 13th. And we need your help. We are looking for volunteers to help at the event. Contact Molly Kelly at mollykfusmattison.org or stop by the table in the commons and talk with either Molly or Chip if you would like to support the gala as a volunteer. 2017 Capital Campaign Kickoff is today. In honor of launching our 2017 Capital Campaign Building Legacy, we invite all of you to stay after the service for a brief presentation about what is in store for this campaign. You will hear about our progress to date, learn what projects we have planned and how you can be a part of it. Please join us for this kickoff. Again, welcome. We hope that today's service will stimulate your mind, touch your heart and stir your spirit. As we gather this day who we are, companions on this grand experiment called life, gather to hear and see each other into existence, into community, ready to practice a different way of being. Here we answer the call of love, living into the promise of building the world we dream about. It is beautiful to dream, to cast a vision, to stretch our minds into the future and imagine what may be if we build a new way. Not someday, but beginning again today, beginning again every day that we have breath. Taking courage with these hands and hearts to make real the dream of a more equitable world, we journey together, seeking to be transformed, even as we transform. Becoming explorers and learners in this world around us, humbled by what we do not yet know, fulfilling the promise of healing a fragmented world, laboring not just in hope, but also in love. In this spirit we gather. In this spirit we pledge ourselves in love and justice. In this spirit we pray. And if you will rise now in body or spirit to join in our affirmation as we light our chalice. We light our chalice symbol of our faith for truth sought through a questioning heart and an attentive mind. For love pursued through obstacles inside and outside our own human heart and for forgiveness and all it entails, the place where truth and love meet and merge. And before we join together in song, if you would take a moment to turn and greet those around you. Please be seated. And I'd like to invite anyone who would like to come forward for our story to come on up because I do need your help today. You know it's funny when you're standing up here because you guys are on the smaller and the grown-ups around you. I can't really see you from up here. And then I say, hey, come on up. And then you all arrive and it's like magic. Hello. Do housework. Like chores, like make your bed and do the dishes. Okay, so you three are coming home with me today. Four. I need to talk to your parents. What have they done that I clearly am not doing well around my own house? I want to bring you home. Okay, I'll bring you home. I'm fine with that. Hi, come on up. She is about a little old woman who hated to do housework. Every day she had to make her bed, she had to do the dishes, and she had to sweep the floor. Then she would sit down and work on her knitting. Now, one day when she was doing her dishes, she began to grumble. Okay, and I need your help, because you're going to grumble like the old woman. So get all grumbly, scrunch your faces up and look like you're going to complain. There you go. And she says, work, work, work. Nice. I can't stand it. Good job. Ooh, Atticus, that's a good grumpy face, man. So she was grumbling, and here she hears and a voice called out, your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in, and you'll work no more. So the little old woman opened the door and in rushed a little fairy. She knocked the old woman aside, bustled over to the sink, and began to clatter and bang away at the dishes. Be the dishes. Clankety, clankety, clankety, clankety. Clankety, clankety, clankety, whatever. Well, if she's going to do the dishes for me, I'll sweep the floor. So she picked up her broom to sweep, and again, ready? Work, work, work. I can't stand it. A voice called out, your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in, and you'll work no more chores. Good job, Lula. That works too. I like Lula's version. She opened the door and in came another little fairy. The fairy pushed the old woman aside, snatched up the broom, and opened the house. Well, then, I guess I'll make the bed. So she began to shake the bed covers, but soon she was grumbling, work, work, work, work. I can't stand it. And then, what did she hear? You guys have heard this before. A voice called out, your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in, and work no more. Work no more. No more chores. And she opened the door. And I bustled over the bed and began to shake the bed clothes. No more work. No more work on the floors. It all rhymes. You're good. Okay, beat the bed clothes. Well, she said that's nice. I'll just sit down and knit. I'm all for that. But she hadn't been knitting long before she even began to complain about that. Work, work, work, work. And a voice called out, your luck has come. Open the door. Let me in, and sounds good to me. And another little fairy rushes in, grabs up the knitting and begins to knit furiously. It must be metal needles, because now we say clickity-clackity, clickity-clackity, clickity-clackity. Like a train. A train of knitting needles. Now the old woman had no place to move. She sat at the kitchen table and the fairy swarmed around her. There wasn't a moment's peace in that house. The little old woman sat there and sat there. She got bored. Then she got annoyed. I'll help with the dishes and that'll get them out of here, she thought. But as soon as she reached for a plate, the four fairies jumped on her and pushed her back to the chair. Sit down, sit down, you'll work no more. So she sat there for a while and she was very bored. She was very annoyed. I'll just help with the sweeping. The moment she reached for the broom, the fairies jumped on her. Sit down, sit down, you'll work no more. The old lady was increasingly annoyed and excessively bored. I'll just finish making the bed. What happened? Sit down, sit down, you'll work no more. Well at least I could do my knitting. What do you think happened? Sit down, sit down, you'll work no more. And they pushed her back into her chair. Clankity, swishity, clinkity, clinkity, swishity. And then suddenly the house was quiet. The dishes were done, the floor was swept, the bed was made, the knitting was finished and the old woman breathed a sigh of relief. And then you're not going to believe this. Change places, change places! The fairies clapped their hands, jumped up and all changed places. The fairy who had been knitting grabbed the broom and began to sweep the dust back all over the floor. The fairy who had been sweeping pulled out the plates, dumped them in the sink and began to dirty them up. The fairy who'd been doing the dishes ran to the bed and threw out the covers. And the fairy who'd been making the bed, this one's not funny, yanked out the knitting needles and unraveled all the knitting. Whew! As soon as everything was completely undone they cried, change places, change places! And each fairy raced back and began doing the work all over again. The old woman realized they were never going to leave. She would be surrounded by clicking and clacking and swishing and flumping for the rest of her life. She ran from the house. She rushed down to the town and the wise woman, my house is overrun with fairies! Your house is overrun with fairies? Did you invite them in? Yes. You hadn't been complaining, had you? Sort of. Oh no! They've come to help! You'll never be rid of them. Well, here's what you must do. Stand outside your door and shout, the hill is on fire! The fairies will think their fairy mound is burning. They will rush home and as soon as they are gone you must go inside and bolt the door. Then do exactly as I tell you. Turn the broom upside down. Put the dishes back in the sink upside down. Pull the bed covers all apart and tangle them up. Take out the needles and rip up the knitting. And do it quickly for they will be back in a flash. So the little old woman did just as she was told. She stood outside the door and called, the hill is on fire! The fairies rushed out and ran to their mound. The little old woman ran inside and bolted the door. She turned the broom upside down. She put the dishes in the sink upside down. She pulled the bed covers apart and tangled them up Your luck is back. Open the door. Let us in and you'll work no more. The old woman sat fairy still. Did you not hear us? Your luck is back. Open the door. Let us in and you'll work no more. The old woman didn't move a muscle. The fairies began to stir around in fuss. Broom, broom, open the door. But the broom called back, we can't move. Dishes, come let us in. We're upside down in the sink. We can't come. Bed covers, get up and come open the door. We're all tangled up, we can't move. Knitting, get over here. Open the door. Our needles are lost. Our stitches are ripped. We can't come. The fairies began to grumble and growl. Then your luck is gone. We'll work no more. And they stomped away to the fairy mound. She washed her dishes. She swept her floor. She made her bed. And she sat down to put the knitting back together again. At long last she could rock and knit. But before long she began to mumble. Work, work, work. How I love it! Was that just ridiculous? Okay. Well, thanks for helping me in that ridiculous story. We are going to rise and body our spirit and sing you out to classes. Please be seated. Our reading today from Jeffrey Lockwood. A voice screeched gate assignments through a nerve jangling public address system. Even if the announcements had been in English, I doubt that I would have been able to make sense of them anyway. But whatever was being broadcast in the cavernous waiting area of the Moscow airport prompted mobs of people to head toward the buses that shuttled passengers to the planes. I grew panicky as I realized that there was no chance of figuring out which announcement concerned my flight. Staring desperately at my boarding pass, I realized that all I had to do was find someone with a matching flight number to them. To my right was a morose old fellow whose pass was tucked completely into the pocket of his threadbare suit coat. And to my left was salvation. A pretty teenager had her boarding pass stuck in the book she was reading and the first two digits of her flight number were the same as mine. When she turned to look at me, I pointed hopefully at my boarding pass and then at hers to my relief she immediately understood. But by then we had attracted the attention of her entire family. When she explained my situation her mother smiled warmly and launched into what I took to be an offer to help. I nodded correctly guessing that I had now been temporarily adopted. When our flight was announced her feet grasped me by the elbow ushered me toward the gate shouted directions to the others who all grabbed my luggage. The mother pushed through the crowd dragging me along glaring at anyone daring to get in our way until we boarded the bus. Once at the plane I thanked her profusely using one of the few Russian words I knew. She seemed to thank me in return. But why would she be grateful? One of the great blessings of travel is to be put in a position of asking help from others to be genuinely needful of strangers. Our illusion of self-reliance evaporates as the unexpected and the unfamiliar merge into vulnerability. We offer the gift of authentic need the opportunity for deep trust. We express to another person the most humanizing cross-cultural phrase please help me. Many of the most meaningful times in my life have been when others have invited me into their lives allowing me to help. In a culture that exalts autonomy asking for help may be one of the greatest gifts we can offer. So much of life has become a calculation of costs and benefits to ask assistants to create the opportunity for unconditional giving in raw spiritual defiance of economic rationality. We become mutually indebted without expectation of repayment. Each person in the relationship becomes both a giver and a receiver. Each one becomes more human. Each one clearly has something to be thankful for. This is your debut for this year, isn't it? Is this your first weekend? Thank you. I get to hear it twice. How not lucky are you? You get to hear it twice. Okay, sorry. There are dedicated crew over there. Silverstein wrote this delightful poem entitled, Helping. Ag at the fry, she made a pie and Christopher John helped bake it. Christopher John, he mowed the lawn and Ag at the fry helped break it. Now Zachary Zugg took out the rug and Jennifer Joy helped shake it. Then Jennifer Joy, she made a toy and Zachary Zugg helped break it. And some kind of help is the kind of help that helping is all about. And some kind of help is the kind of help we all can do without. When I met with Morris and Carolyn Wachsler to discuss today's reflections, Carolyn started our conversation with this poem and I loved it. I think it spoke to me as it made to you because I have been on the receiving end with the kind of help that was extremely helpful and the kind of help we all can do without. Why is it we discuss that for some, altruism is in their bones. Their go-to way of being in the world. Those who say things like I could never not help, that's not me. And for others it is to shy away from helping at all and say, no good deed goes unpunished and everyone must fend for themselves. It has been fascinating for me to watch this developing in my own kids. I've noticed that both of them seem to have a natural instinctual desire to help. For both I noticed the transition to preschool each day happened best when I was waiting with something that needed them. Whether it was I have to find the crackers for snack, will you help me? Or we're painting watercolors today. Can you mix the paint on those blessed mornings? Drop off was a breeze. No arguing, no tears, no fuss. Is it instinctual that we all want to help? Do some of us just need to be needed? Psychologist Felix Warniker in a TED talk titled Need Help? Ask a two year old. Wondered how we develop this impulse to help. To not just worry about ourselves but be motivated to act upon the needs of others. His research suggests that conventional wisdom that children are selfish only caring about their own needs and that they need to be taught to be helpers is wrong. And that really altruism appears naturally in children at very early ages. He shared study after study in which children are found to help naturally. We're even able to tell when help was needed and when it was not. He found that altruistic tendencies come quite naturally to us humans. He then looked at helping from an evolutionary standpoint and worked with chimpanzees our closest cousins to see what they would do in situations that require helping. The chimps helped not only human caregivers with whom they had developed close bonds but they helped complete strangers and also other chimps. This was true whether or not they were rewarded or given any benefit for their helping. Researchers hypothesize that in humans and our cousins altruism in fact had deep roots and was present long before social norms and cultural training could have had an impact on how we develop. Apparently we come into this world equipped with a desire to help. Now my whole life I have heard that it is good to be helpful. I've been told that it's good to lend a hand to help whenever you can. To help my best to be friendly and helpful considerate and caring to help my loved ones, friends and strangers as best I could. I wonder how much of this led to my career because isn't this work I do all about reaching out lending a hand to people as they face difficulties to be a caring presence to help and care. Yes and my seminary training also balanced out this desire to help with an acknowledgement of the times when you might need to let it be let it go times when helping would do more harm than good. Helping others you see is tricky. Sometimes we are not helping at all. In reality we are helping to make ourselves feel good perhaps even superior. How do we know when to ask for help ourselves when to allow the roles to flip and be on the receiving end and when we do how does that feel? If helping is naturally who we are how we are born into this world when in the world did it get so complicated? Part of it could be the messages we receive if I have to ask for help then you don't really care there must be something wrong with me if I need help with this if I help you I could get hurt I need to protect myself you need help again this has to stop I'm just keeping you dependent you got to learn how to help yourself for a change in that seminal work how can I help by Ram Dass and Paul Gorman Gorman says at this point we are left asking ourselves what helping is or who helps or what helps and how much and when are you and the whole conversation can get a little dizzy what you're talking about is something you really understand instinctively but the words can start to have a life of their own not that it isn't a wonderful topic but there's always the potential for it all turning into the tea party in Alice in Wonderland in an effort to keep us from the maddening dizzying world of Alice in Wonderland I want to offer this that we think about helping as a spiritual practice a spiritual practice in terms of something that confronts us in our depths not merely superficially an intentional practice that brings us into connection into relationship into wholeness what would it look like if helping was a spiritual practice well the first part would be really really hard and that would be to remove judgment the researcher and author Brené Brown shares this insight about helping when you cannot ask for help without self judgment you are never really offering help without judgment now how many of us consider ourselves helpers show your hands how many of you are helpers put them up I know who you are how many of us enjoy asking for help okay there was one guy at 9 o'clock at 4 here I think that's the record so far 5 11 o'clock wins alright if we cannot accept and ask for help without judging ourselves in the process then when we help another person we are always doing it with judgment many of us get much of our worth out of helping others we see ourselves through that lens of helper yet we ourselves refrain from asking for help when we're in need then when we help another we judge them as less than because they need some kind of assistance that we do not the reframe here is I'm helping someone else because the day will come when I need help when we are able to say that to see helping in that light to feel that we find connection a recognition of our common humanity our common vulnerability our real and deep need for one another before we can authentically help others we need to be able to ask for help without attaching worth to recognize that being on the helping end and being on the receiving end can change at any moment that's humbling that's human that's healing we would also need to be able to let go of the outcome to help without expectation can we listen to another without believing that we know how to fix them that we have all the answers and if they would only listen to us then all would be well might we realize that we do not have all the answers perhaps if we allow the space and time needed for another to hear themselves they could figure it out on their own there's no guarantee that the one asking for your help is going to take it or that they will follow your advice being able to both reach out and let go gives us the ability to keep our hearts supple and open curious and not convinced willing to try again and knowing how to let it be another practice would be the ability to be present in the face of suffering recognizing that maybe the only gift you can give in that moment is your presence the gift of not turning away in the face of fear and pain henry nowan in the road to daybreak wrote that when we honestly ask ourselves the question in our lives means the most to us we often find that it is those who instead of giving advice, solutions or cures have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair who can stay with us in an hour of grief who can tolerate knowing not curing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness that is a friend who cares the difficult piece is recognizing that our helping may bring suffering to ourselves when we sit in the pain of another it is easy to want to turn away to not bear witness for another but as Ram Dass tells us each time we drop our masks and meet heart to heart reassuring one another simply by the quality of our presence we experience a profound bond which we intuitively understand is nourishing everyone each time we quiet our mind our listening becomes sharp and clear deep and perceptive we can reach out here as if from inside the heart of someone's pain each time we are able to remain open to suffering despite our fear and defensiveness we sense a love in us which becomes increasingly unconditional and the last piece would be the recognition that truly we are in this together that in giving to another we receive and in the receiving we give a gift to the one that can help in that moment for the love of God drop the belief in the autonomy of the individual the belief that we must stand alone on our own two feet and struggle in silence just stop it the myth of independence needs to end and be replaced with the reality of interdependence there's a story that in the middle ages this certain order of monks they lived quietly at their monastery but part of their rule was that periodically they would go off and do an individual retreat and the length of the retreat was up to each person so one day a monk went before the abbot and asked permission to go on his own retreat the monk went off to the hermitage and when he arrived the only thing there was a bible he opened it up and the first passage he saw was Jesus washing the disciples feet and so he stayed in the hermitage for two days thinking about this passage and then returned to the monastery as was the custom he presented himself to the abbot first who was surprised and said you're back already and the monk said of course I am whose feet would a hermit wash and who would wash the hermit that's community creating ways to reach out to one another to offer help to also reach out and ask for help giving others the opportunity to love you into healing there is so much need in our world today as we witness natural disasters people who've lost everything addicted loved ones near and far who are barely hanging on communities crying out for justice for life for the ability just to be seen to be valued listen to and respected there is so much pain and loss that maybe it is a little bit like the mad hatter's tea party for us to be even exploring why and how we help maybe the message is just get out there and help each other yet I do think in these times when need is seemingly everywhere and we are torn in where to look and how to keep looking and how to not turn away that grounding our altruism in our spirits removing judgment letting go of expectation being present in the face of pain and recognizing that we are in this together this is a way to both care for ourselves and one another in ways that can bring healing for both perhaps finally the last thought is that we can trust a little more both ourselves and the process we have much more to offer than we may realize all we have to do is ask how can I help with an open heart and truly listen so I'll leave you today with an open hearted story from Paul Gorman the other day I received a call from a woman doing a survey for the Gallup poll she's actually doing a poll on how much time people spend helping she's trying to explain the criteria and I start to crack up seeing the absurdity of it all how much time are people helping what kind of question is that that's what I said too what can I tell you it's a job she was sort of whispering which made me laugh even more we got into this conspiratorial infectious laughter when we stopped laughing I asked did it help and she said I guess so why I said that's your job you tell me why and then I threw in we were trying to make the best that's what I'm trying to do all the time that's it I want you to put me down in the Gallup poll as someone who helps all the time more laughter she said we don't have a category for all the time but we do have one here that says all of the above perfect put me down under all of the above I am very much all of the above in fact you have to put everybody down all of the above everybody's trying to make the best of a nutty situation Gallup can release a poll saying everybody in America is helping I wish I had the nerve she said maybe I'll do it with alternate answers one out of every two people in America is helping the other half is being helped by this point we were just in love with the idea of throwing the topic back into blessed confusion which is where it really is anyhow finally we said goodbye months later there's a story in the newspaper Gallup poll reveals half of all Americans help right there in the paper she did it she pulled it off I rush into the kitchen reading the headline to my wife that's me I exclaim which half she says all of the above I answer triumphantly wonderful she replies now wash the dishes I now invite you into the giving and receiving of the morning's offering our outreach offering recipient is the playing field you could read more about their mission in your order of service and we thank you for your generosity in a recent article in the Wisconsin State Journal entitled historical sites in Madison help define us the historic preservation officer for the Wisconsin Historical Society said not everything old is worth preserving there are places however that are seminal in our understanding of who we are he went on to say that those important historic sites give us a sense of place and belonging and tell important stories that help us connect to our past our present and our future our Unitarian meeting house is such a seminal place over time and the process of giving thousands of tours I have learned that what makes it so special and I want to share with you my thoughts on why so many of us treasure the building the landmark is part of our DNA our heritage and our identity it is our spiritual home do you see that prowl it was intended to represent the prowl of a prairie schooner skimming its way across the prairie but that's not why the prowl is considered iconic before the meeting house was built church architecture consisted of rectangular boxes with steeples it was Frank Lloyd Wright's original idea to combine the auditorium and the steeple and the parish hall as one coherent whole that innovativeness explains why the American Institute of Architects in 1960 designated our building as one of the 17 of Wright's buildings to be retained as examples of his contribution to American culture ladies and gentlemen we are considered the same category as the likes of Falling Waters and the Guggenheim Museum and this is why in 2004 our building was designated as a national historic landmark another of Wright's original ideas was the concept of unity a Unitarian who was a member of our church as were parents he thought that the root of the word Unitarian was unity and he stated on many occasions that Unitarians believe in the unity of all things these days this concept is captured in our seventh principle respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part the idea of unity was expressed in Wright's efforts to make the building in harmony with nature it was also expressed in the materials he used Wright limited his construction materials to natural ones and to give the building an even greater sense of unity the same materials were used inside and out copper for the roof dolomite for the walls glass concrete and wood this is one reason the building feels so coherent and comfortable he also employed a concept he called the unit system in our case the unit that Wright used were equilateral triangles and diamonds shapes what was the triangle used well Wright felt that shapes have meaning and to him the triangle meant aspiration he thought that the triangle was an analogy for what unitarian universalism is about we aspire to know the truth our own individual truth and he repeated the shape and form throughout you see it in the lectern the tables in the shape and seating in the auditorium unity of all things finally we know this was one of Wright's favorite buildings how? because we have the official Frank Lloyd Wright seal of approval at the entrance to the building Wright put his chop on only the 45 buildings of which he was most proud someone said that the unitarian meeting house was a gift from Frank Lloyd Wright to his religion Kenneth Patton the minister here when the building was designed said it was perhaps the first architectural expression of our unitarian faith after visiting the building Carl Sandberg the great American historian and poet said the church is a poem of a building our building is a nationally recognized work of art it is also our historical and spiritual center being good stewards of this iconic structure is an important moral responsibility one we cannot shirk this is why I intend to generously support the capital campaign and I hope you will help out too thank you Mark and I know we mentioned in the announcements but that was a long time ago that Matthew and I will be doing a very brief presentation right here immediately following the presentation and I will turn your seats and will tell you a little bit more about the capital campaign and I now invite you to rise in body or spirit for our closing hymn number 151 this day the courage to be humble in the face of inequity and pain to know that the power has been given to us to make a difference to keep acting in the midst of despair to keep trying in the aftermath of failure to keep hoping in the emptiness that follows loss may courage give us patience and may we ever know love's healing presence at the heart and center of our days blessed be go in peace and please be seated for the postlude