 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with you say the sweetest things. Ladies and gentlemen, during the holiday season just ahead, there are sure to be many guests dropping in at your house. And you've probably been doing a good deal of thinking about how to entertain them. One of the best ways to make certain of showing your hospitality is to remember this very simple rule. Welcome on the doormat means much more when there's Jell-O on the table. Jell-O's a dessert that every one of your guests will like. They'll be attracted right away by its bright shimmering colors. And they'll all take a hearty pleasure in Jell-O's grand, extra-rich goodness. A tangy, refreshing flavor rivaled only by the juicy ripe fruit itself. Yes, serving Jell-O is a subtle compliment to your visitor's taste. A gracious gesture that proves their enjoyment has been carefully considered. So why not get several packages of Jell-O tomorrow and be prepared for the holidays? Order all of Jell-O's six delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. And be sure to look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O and Jell-O spells a treat. Say the sweetest things played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I regret to announce that Jack Benny has been confined to his bed for the past week with a severe cold. Due to an unfortunate occurrence at my house last Sunday. It seems that I invited Jack and the rest of the gang over to meet my wife. And while Jack was waiting the whole week flat on my back in bed. And for what? Have my head examined. If I told the guy once, I told him five times. I said, Don, call up your wife. Call her up, I said. Let's not barge in on the little woman. But no, Peggy's a peach, she won't mind. She just loves to have comfort. Knee. Oh, nurse, nurse. Yes, boss? Take this hot water bag away at least. Look at this hole. It's okay if you keep your finger in it. I told you to have it patched. Look at me, my nightie is so clear through. You're a fine nurse. What's that, boss? I said you're a fine nurse. Well, you've only been sick a week, I ain't had time to get a diploma. What I'm asking for is a little help. If you'd only tr... Answer the phone. Hello? Yes? He's feeling much better, Miss Lamar. Where? Hey, Miss Lamar, thanks for calling. That was sweet. Who was that, Rochester? Hedy Lamar? No, Dorothy. Oh, you mean Dorothy Lamour? No, Dorothy Lamar, she's the cook next door. Well, she works for Ronald Coleman. Ronnie probably wants to know how I'm getting along. You make something out of it, won't you, boys? Well, that's undoubtedly what it was. Mary, I told you not to fuss around the kitchen. Now, Jack, you've got to eat this omelet I made for you. It'll do you good. I don't want an omelet. You've got to have something here. Oh, all right. Can't taste anything with this darn cold. Rochester, did Mr. Benny sleep well last night? No, Miss Livingston, he tossed and turned and kept talking in his sleep all the time. What'd he say? Said he was going to give me a raise. Well, I'm not. You mumble again tonight. I'm going to stick a checkbook in your hand. Don't try to pull any fast ones, Rochester. Mary, what did you put in this omelet? Vapor rub. He's got a cold, haven't you? Vapor rub. That stuff is to rub on. It's supposed to be used externally. All right. Put the omelet on your chest and leave me alone. You leave me alone. I never saw anybody so cranky. It's your own fault that you've got a cold. My fault? I suppose it was my fault that Don Wilson invited us to his house and everybody got in with me. I suppose it was my fault that it started to rain and I got so. Well, for heaven's sake, you don't expect him to bring home a whole gang of people without calling up his wife first. Oh, for Pete's sake. Mary, you were at the studio. You heard me. How many times did I say, Don, call up your wife? Call her up, I say. Let's not barge in on the little woman. But would he listen to me? We had to go and... Choo! Good to see you, Jack. Thanks. We had to go and bring the whole gang out to the... Choo! Good to see you, boys. Thanks. Out to the house while I'm letting her know a thing about it. I wouldn't have minded that so much, but when we... But when we... Choo! It's your turn, Miss Limson. But I said it after you said it. Well, somebody... Don't feel good. I wish the doctor would get here. Well, go to sleep for a while. The rest will do you good. I can't rest. So uncomfortable lying here. Why don't you take some of those silver dollars out of the mattress? What are you talking about, silver dollars? There's nothing in my mattress but feathers. You ought to hear them clink when I make up the bed. Now, stop both of you. I'm in no mood for nonsense. Hello, Mr. Benny. How do you feel? Not so hot. Dizzy, my eyes are blurry. I'm weak. I ache all over. Well, you're not a kid anymore, Mr. Benny. Now, wait a minute. There's only one thing that matters with me, Dennis. I've got a cold. Cold, he says. What's the matter with you? Haven't you ever had a cold? Oh, Jack, don't be such an old crab. Gosh, when you're sick, you're always arguing. Why is a kid making such an issue out of it? All I've got is a cold. What's that on your chest, Mr. Benny? An amulet. There's vapor up in it. That was Mary's brilliant idea. When I wouldn't eat it, she says, put it on your chest. Why, you big dodo? I only told you to put it on your chest for a gag. Well, it feels wonderful, so the laugh's on you. I guess that makes you the dodo. Rochester, give me a cigar out of the humidor. The humidor's empty, boys. Empty? There were four cigars in there this morning. Now, where are they? Did you take them, Miss Livingston? No, she didn't take them, Miss Livingston. Of course not. I'm soaking a pipe now. Mary. Now, Rochester, what happened to... Hey, wait a minute. Oh, Rochester! What are those four things sticking out of your best pocket? Back in the humidor. Okay. I'm ashamed of you, Rochester. This should teach you not to take any cigars that don't belong to you. It'll teach me to get deeper pockets, too! Can't trust anybody around here. Oh, Jack, why don't you take a nap and rest for a while? Told you I can't sleep. I'm too nervous. Well, close your eyes and relax. You'll be all right. Okay, my eyes are closed. Am I asleep? No. Tell you, I'm too restless. Do you want me to sing you to sleep, Mr. Benny? Oh, fine. That's all I need. You know I'm very soothing. All right, all right. Sing me to sleep. I hope it's rock-a-bye, baby, in the tree top. That always gets me. I think I was six months old. Go ahead. Sing, Dannon. Okay. Darn this mattress. It's so lumpy. I think I'll take it to the bank Monday. If I might, so the legends tell I know such enchantment. Does it happen? You sure did. Miss Livingston? Yeah, all he needs is a rattle and a ton of makeup. Now's your chance to get those cigars back. Yeah, the doctor told him not to smoke. I'll see what you've done. You broke the humidor. Some humidor. It says cookies on it. You can keep cookies or cigars in it as long as they're not together. They're Rochester. I just happen to think of something. Did you tell Mr. Billingsley our border that we're going to New York next week? Yeah, but I wouldn't leave him in the house alone, boss. He's getting crazier every day. Oh, you just don't like him, that's all. What's he done now? You know that spinning wheel he's got up in his room? Yes. Well, the other day he weaved himself a magic carpet. A magic carpet? Now, that doesn't mean he's crazy. Don't he? He flew all over Westwood this morning. Don't stop being ridiculous. A cloud yet. Hiya, Jackson. How's the envelope? Not so good, Phil. Got a cold. A cold, he says. Why, you sentimental son of a gun, Phil. Thanks, Phil. Thanks for the flowers. He's ain't for you. I thought you had a nurse. Well, I'll be darned. I'm sick and bad, and he brings flowers for the nurse. Ain't she got one? No, and if I did have a nurse, how would you know what she'd look like? Listen, Jackson, what have I got to lose? If the dame's pretty, I'd give her the flowers. And if she's homely, you can have them, her, and so long, Jackson. I'm back here. Certainly got that figured out, haven't you? See, I wish the doctor'd get here. I've got chills again. Where's the thermometer, Rochester? I'll get it, boss. Answer the phone, Mary. Okay. Better, Miss Colbert. Yes, thank you. I'll tell him you called. Goodbye. Well, who was that? Claudette Colbert? No, Minnie. Oh, Minnie Colbert? Oh, yeah, she's the cashier at the Vine Street bowling alley. You know, Phil, that girl kind of goes for me. You're welcome to her, brother. She's got legs like a piano. Well, she's behind the counter all day. Who sees her? Every fellow that walks in that bowling alley is crazy about her. She has a beautiful face. And why do they keep score on it? Oh, quiet. I think every girl that likes me is homely. What's on your chest there, Jackson? Anomaly. Give me the thermometer, Rochester. Here you are. Open your mouth. Ah. Say, Mary, has Don Wilson been over to see Jack? Not yet. He's probably scared after what happened. What's he scared about? It wasn't Don's fault. It wasn't Don's fault? If I told him once, I told him five times. Don't watch him. It wasn't Don's fault. Here, Rochester, what does the thermometer say? All right. What does it say? Nineteen more shopping days till Christmas. Give me that and stop hending. I wonder what's keeping that doctor. Why don't you take some more of that cough medicine? Oh, I hate it. It's mighty good, boss. 60% alcohol. 60%? Give me a shot of that, Rochester. Put that bottle down. All of a sudden, he's got a cold. You know, Phil, if... A-choo! You guys are at height, Mr. Benny. Thanks. Who was that? Mr. Billingsley. He's under the bed. Under the bed? Well, I'll be... Mr. Billingsley, what are you doing under the bed? I'm looking for my cloud. Have you seen it? Your cloud? No, I... I haven't. Well, if it comes by duck, it's just full of rain. I will. I will. Oh, I will. Don't worry about that. Well, good night, Mr. Benny. Good night. Not necessarily. You know, I... I think Rochester was right about that guy. He frightens the tar out of me. Did he scare you two, Dennis? This is Rochester. I'm white. Geez, he's a weird fella. Phil, I'm nervous. Tune in the radio and let's get some music. Okay. Guy gives me the creeps. Hey, how do you work this thing? You've got to just turn it to the place. There, that's it. Mr. Billingsley makes me nervous. It was from your new picture, wasn't it? Yes, it's called Isn't That Just Like Love? Mary Martin sings it to me. And you know, fellas, even though it's only a picture, you can't help but feel that deep down in her heart she loves me. Oh, pull up your omelet. It's cold anyway. Hey, Rochester, I'm just commencing to feel hungry. Go downstairs and make me a sandwich out of that chicken you roasted yesterday. I don't think it was roasted enough, boys. What do you mean? I opened the icebox this morning and it laid an egg right in my face. Stop that. You're just too lazy to go downstairs. Now, get me a sandwich. Okay. Guy smokes my cigars, won't do any work, drinks my cough medicine. Never saw anything like it. Gesundheit. That's only for sneezes. Doctor doesn't get here pretty soon. That must be him now. Come in. Why, it's Don Wilson. Well, hello, everybody. Hi, Don. He's got a nerve to come here. Well, hello, Jack. You know, I'm awfully sorry about what happened last week, and I came over to apologize. How do you feel? Feel fine. I'm glad you barged in. How's the little woman? Oh, Jackson, stop acting like a baby. The way you're treating Don just because you caught a little cold. It's not only the cold, but when he left me standing in the rain, a stick-up man came along and I got hooked for $8.65. Don't forget you paid the cab fare, too. I included that. It was a terrible experience. Did the guy pull a gun on you, Jackson? How else could he get $8.65? That's so. I wasn't afraid of him. Then why did you let him take your dough? Because he stuck a gun in my rib. Then why didn't you let him shoot you? Because I got more money than blood and shut up. I hope you're happy, Mr. Wilson, for everything you... you... a-choo. Gesundheit. Keep it. The trouble with you, Don Wilson, is you were afraid you did in wrong with your wife. Oh, I was, huh? Yes, you were, and you can't deny it. Well, you can't deny that Jello is America's favorite gelatin dessert. What's that got to do with it? You can't deny that it comes in six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. What are you talking about? So look for the big red letters on the box. Goodbye. Well, I'll be... I'm going to tell the sponsor on him. He yelled about Jello. Oh, you always have to be a tattle-tale, don't you? Just believe in being loyal to our sponsor. That's all. The doctor's here, boss. Oh, well, it's about time. Hello, Doc. Well, well, how's my little man, Miss Brighton Cherry Bay? As if you cared. I've been waiting for you since early this morning. Well, don't holler at me. I was up all night with Jean Autry's horse. Now that you're here, you can look me over. Yes, indeed. Now, let's see, what's wrong with you? I've got a cold. A cold, he says. I'm so weak, I can hardly move. And look at my eyes. They're all bloodshot. Well, I think that little bit of red is beautiful with the blue. With a color scheme, I want my cold cured. And another thing, I'm hungry. Is it all right if I eat something? Oh, no, no. You should starve a cold and feed a fever. Oh. Or is it starve a fever and feed a cold? You're the doctor. You tell me. I love, Doc. I... Achoo! Donut, I'm sneezing all the time. Well, I'll take care of that right away. Now, here. What are you doing? I'm going to put these two corks in your nostrils. Corks. Now, wait a minute, Doctor. Now, now, hold still. But, Doctor, there you are. But, Doctor, I can't breathe now. I can't. I can't. Achoo! Achoo! York, are we from tomorrow? Do you think I can make it? Yes, just get as much sleep as possible. Now, I'll leave a box of these pills, and you take one before retiring. Okay. Why don't you take one now, Jack, so you can rest for a while? Yeah, I think I will. Well, I'll run along now, Mr. Benny. See you tomorrow. Goodbye. Goodbye. Now, let's see. Who's my next patient? Oh, yes. And Sheridan's Cocker Spaniel. A fine, a fine doctor I pick. Well, it's your own fault. Why did you call a veterinary? Because what happened to me shouldn't happen to a dog. Now, we should all go home and let me get some sleep. Okay, Jackson. I'll give you a ring in the morning. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. I hope you'll feel better. Thanks, Dennis. So long, Mary. So long, Jack. See you tomorrow. Rochester. Rochester, if I get any calls, don't disturb me. No. Turn out the light. Okay, boss. Thanks. Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going with my four cigars? He's got eyes like an owl. Put them back. Don't leave this house. I might need you. Yes, sir. Good night. Good night. Yeah, I hope I can get a good night's rest. This pill does make you kind of drowsy, doesn't it? Gee, Wilson had a lot of nerve coming over here tonight. I can't get over that guy. All of this trouble I'm having for no reason at all. If I told him once, I told him five times, call up your wife, the little woman, barging in. What's that? Who's that at the window? All right, buddy. Stick them up. What? Come on. Give me a dough. Why, you're the same guy that got me down at Wilson's house. Remember, I was in the Rosebook. Never mind that. Hand over your dough. Gee, I gave you all the money I had in my shoe. Every cent of it. Remember? This time I want your mattress. Yipe! Oh, no, you don't. Give me that dummy. I'll teach you to break into people's houses. No, no. Don't shoot. Please. Oh, my goodness. What have I done? I've killed him. I've killed him. Why, boss, boss, what's the matter? Hold please, Rochester. I just killed a man. Wake up, boss, wake up. I'm not asleep. I just killed a man. Can't you see? Boss, wake up. You didn't kill anybody. You're dreaming. Gee, it was so vivid, so real. You know, you know, Rochester, you'd be proud of me if you'd seen how brave I was just now. What are you talking about? When that big tough burglar came in the room and stuck that gun in my face, was I scared? No. I grabbed a gun out of his hand and I let him have it. Bang, bang, bang, bang. Boy, did I give it to him. Boys, when you get the right pills, you're a tiger. You said it. Well, I'm going back to sleep now, Rochester. If anything happens, I'll let you know. Good night. Good night, boss. What a man. It's not a public holiday. Not one of those historic dates that call for celebration. But just the same, there'll be plenty of celebration at your house, and tomorrow brings you your first taste of Jell-O's newest salad sensation. It's called beauty salad, and believe me, the name certainly fits. Nothing could look more intriguing or taste more delicious, and it's delightfully simple to make. Just prepare one package of raspberry Jell-O, as you usually do, and chill until slightly thickened. Fold in one banana diced and one fourth cup of chopped nut meats. Then mold, and there's one of the grandest salads or desserts you ever tasted. If you haven't tried raspberry Jell-O lately, you'll find it even better than you remembered. Enjoy it tomorrow in this tempting Jell-O salad, a cheery combination of creamy bananas, crunchy nut meats, and crimson raspberry Jell-O. When it's time to get up, does it cause you much grief? Do you grumble and mumble and generally beat that you're good for just nothing? You've slept not a wink? And you know it's because you had coffee to drink? Then my friends, take a tip from a fellow who knows, switch to Sanka, the coffee that's minus the woes, the coffee that's free from disturbing caffeine, just packed with the refreshment and flavor that's keen. Never more spend your nights all in vain counting sheep. Join the thousands who drink Sanka coffee and sleep. Sanka coffee presents we the people over another network every Tuesday evening. This is the National Broadcasting Company.