 Okay, second time's a charm. So I have a message from a woman in our audience and I'm gonna read it and then answer it. And basically what it says is, here's exactly what it says, is I desperately want my ex back. He's the love of my life. I can't imagine happiness without him. And I want a future with him. But we had a bad breakup thanks to him deserting me and being really rude and nasty about it. I decided to get back with him. I would have a new boyfriend who's decent in as many ways as possible and play it out to make my ex jealous enough to want me back. Now, even though that may be working, there's a spanner in the works. My new guy wants a future with me, which I only agreed to, so he wouldn't expect I love my ex. He also keeps booking and arranging things for us, which keeps me in the relationship longer because I can't say no again to avoid suspicion. So my original split up deadline is long past as it keeps getting postponed. I'm stuck and don't know what to do. I want him back because he's the one I love and I love to fantasize about having a future together. He didn't do anything to me during the relationship and I don't want to forget him or be with someone else but he refuses to have anything to do with me. Okay, so before I answer this question and I talk about what it is that she should do, if you're new here, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If this is your first time, make sure that you subscribe to my channel and if you're really serious about getting into a great relationship where you're loved and seen and cherished by an amazing man, make sure you go to theforeverwomanformula.com and pick up my program there for free. Okay, so first thing is that what you're currently doing right now in this situation doesn't work. This whole thing where you're trying to get a guy in order to make your old boyfriend jealous, your ex-boyfriend jealous, it doesn't work on mature men. It just makes them very grateful that they left you and if he's a mature man, he's not gonna want to have anything to do with you because you're doing this and if he's not a mature man, you probably don't want to get back with him anyway. Number two is that you're using and hurting someone and this could have all kinds of negative consequences that you may not see right now because your goal is getting back with your ex, but you're playing with somebody's heart and you're playing with somebody's mind and that could go really, really badly for you and so my suggestion is that you just let him go and because being with him isn't gonna get your ex back anyway and so you need to cut him off and have some compassion for him and number four is spend some time reflecting on why you broke up and why he doesn't want anything to do with you. So based on what you've said to me and the fact that I've seen thousands of people go through breakups, my guess is that some things happen between both of you, right? He did some things that you didn't like, you did some things that he didn't like and then he eventually got fed up and then left you and decided that he didn't want anything to do with you anymore and while I don't know anything about you but since you're dating some guy to get back at him it's my hallucination that you've done similar things in the relationship to get what you want or to get back at him for things and I could be wrong about that but I doubt it and so here's what I think you need to do. So when men break up with women they don't want to get back in the same situation that they left, right? They left that situation for a reason because to them it was more painful than staying in the situation and they looked out at being free or being with somebody else and they thought, wow, this is gonna be so much better than what I currently have and so that's why men leave situations and so they don't want to get back into the situation that they just thought was so painful that they needed to leave and so the only way that most men will get back together is if they feel like they're getting into a new situation, a new relationship. So here's what that means for you. First, what you need to do is make sure that you cut off all contact with your ex so don't message him, don't call him, don't stalk him on social media, anything like that, don't like his photos or anything, don't do anything, right? Completely cut off all contact with him, stop following him on social media accounts, block him if you have to. Put anything that reminds you of him in a box somewhere for later. Figure out what role you had in the breakup and creating a situation that your ex didn't want to be a-