 So up next we have Isha, Isha is currently working as a technical specialist at Google Singapore. So in the former life, she was a developer and angel consultant and she was also a trainer, a business analyst and an all-around multitasker and today she's going to be talking to you about effective guide to effective feedback. So yeah. Okay, classic, classic online problems. I was on mute. But now I'm like, everyone can see me, everyone can hear me, everyone can see my presentation. Yes, yes, feedback people. That's what we're talking about. Cool. So, um, yeah, like Isha said, I now work as a technical specialist at Google. I used to be a developer and an angel consultant and did a whole bunch of different stuff while I was at my previous jobs. I'm going to be talking about a topic that's very close to my heart. I love talking about feedback. I love giving feedback. I love getting feedback. So, yeah, today we will talk about effective feedback specifically. And I will go back to my slides like that. So we'll talk about what effective feedback is, what are some of the characteristics of effective feedback, how do you give effective feedback, how do you receive effective feedback. But before I tell you what it is, I want you, someone, all of you to just unmute yourselves and tell me what you think effective feedback means or type it in the chat and I will see it. If I can. There are no, no wrong answers. So just feel free to share whatever you know about what feedback is and how you think it can. Actionable. Actionable. Absolutely. Yes. Thank you. Um, Ron here. Um, I think feedback also needs like a good mindset to accept feedback. Sometimes I'm not at the right mind to like accept feedback, just listen and let it pass. Absolutely. Yes. That is very accurate. Um, and I will cover that in my presentation here. So what else anything else anyone else wants to share. Also at any point, feel free to stop me if you have a question you want to share your war stories. Stuff about feedback that has or hasn't gone well, please feel free. So all right. Um, what you show and Ron said very valid points. So effective feedback at a broad level comprises of three major components. The first one being a goal, both the giver and the receiver of the feedback need to have a goal in mind. It doesn't necessarily have to be the same goal they start with, but there has to be a goal in each of their minds. The next thing is information, the giver shares information about the goal with the receiver and based on that information, the receiver takes some action. And with that, the whole cycle of feedback starts again. Now, the reason we say that an effective feedback comprises all of these things is because feedback is isn't just something you tell someone based on whatever you thought at the time, right? There has to be something that the receiver can take away from it. Which is why when we talk about effective feedback, it has to be specific. It has to relate to a specific incidents, a specific interaction, something in particular. And at the same time, it has to be objective. It has to be based on facts. It cannot be based on presumptions, preconceived devices, assumptions, hypotheses. It has to be based in fact. It has to be given in a timely manner. And I'll talk a little bit more about that in just a second. And as you should very rightly point it out, it has to be actionable. And which is why when we talked about the overall skeleton of feedback, it comprises action as one of its elements. Let's move on and talk about how do you give effective feedback? Because this is a two-way street, there's a giver, there's a receiver and both of these require effort on what the party is involved. So, giving effective feedback is based on two major things, an observation and an impact. Something as a giver that I have observed, that I have encountered, that I have been a part of and how it affected me as a person particularly. Now this one here is a little bit of a tricky situation in a way. Because I'm saying it has to impact you in a certain way, but it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be said or done directly to you. It also doesn't mean that you can get, for lack of a better term, I'm going to say offended on behalf of someone else. And something else that I'd like to address over here, people often say, oh, offence is taken, not given. But when we talk about feedback, then that actually does not hold true. As a giver of feedback, I don't get to decide what the receiver meant when they did something. And the same thing applies to the receiver, that they don't get to dictate how their interaction or their actions made me feel as the second party involved. So these are the two things when we talk about objectivity and specificity of feedback. It has to be based on an actual incident that occurred and how it impacted you as a person, by you I mean the giver. Now the question is, we talked about it being timely, right? When should you give feedback? So let's say an incident occurred, you had an interaction with someone that didn't quite go well, you choose to ignore it. That incident occurs, or something similar happens again, and then it happens again, and then it happens again. Let's say this entire thing is spread over, I don't know, 6 to 12 months. If at that point I give feedback, after the fourth time that the same thing has happened, it's already too late. The person who is the doer in this case, or would be the receiver of the feedback, they're already in their head, they don't think twice about behaving the way they did. On the contrary, if I were to give feedback earlier, then they would know that, okay, this is a kind of behavior that they need to watch out for in the future, and hopefully it won't happen again. So let me give you an example from my own experience, right? I was working on a team, we had a tech lead who was very new to the company and wasn't really familiar with how we run projects in that specific company, whereas I had been in the company for a few years at the time, even though I had less experience than him, but I had more experience how teams were run within that company. So I was put on the team and my instructions, so to say, were very clear that, look, we want you on this team so that you can help guide this person on how teams within this company run. It's like, sure, sounds great, absolutely. Now we're in some team meetings and I suggest something and this person completely disregards what I said. It's like, okay, doesn't matter, let it pass. And then those things keep happening over and over again. Now by the time I've given him feedback, it's already too late because one, there is no mutual trust. Two, we're already in a position where he doesn't respect me enough to hear what I'm trying to say. And three, I have a resentment that has been built in and that creeps into my feedback and I'll talk a little bit more about that as well in some time. So I'm not saying here that you give feedback the first time something occurs, right? Wait for it to see if it happens again and then give feedback so that the behavior doesn't repeat again. Because if you do it the very first time, there could be a whole bunch of reasons involved over there. The thing to ask yourself, and this touches upon what Ron said earlier, that you have to ask the receiver if it's the right time to give feedback. Sometimes the receiver just might not be in the right state of mind. They may be dealing with something, they might be unwell, they might be just caught up with a lot of other things at the time. So ask if it's a good time to give feedback, but also ask if you're the right person to be giving that feedback. So for example, when I was working with a software consultancy, we often worked with teams where we also had client developers. Now, the client's company and our company didn't necessarily have the same feedback culture. So while I could walk up to any of my colleagues and say, hey, can I give you some feedback and know that that interaction would go well, I wouldn't necessarily be able to have the same conversation with the client developers for whatever reason, right? Their line of reporting could be different. The culture is different. The agreement within the teams is different. There could be a whole bunch of reasons. So always ask if you're the right person to be giving feedback. This also goes back to what I said earlier about being offended on someone else's behalf. If let's say you witnessed an interaction between two people where you think that the other person should have actually called it out or been offended by it, that's fine. Go and talk to that person. Ask how that made them feel. Help them be able to give feedback. But that doesn't mean that you as the third party should be stepping in and giving feedback on their behalf. Some other tips, which sort of I touched on before, but just to put it all together, make it a conversation. Don't, if possible, do it in a more informal setting. For coffee, take a walk, just make it a more informal thing, rather than a formal setting down in a meeting room sort of a situation. Create an environment of trust. Now, this is something that doesn't happen at the time of, you can't walk into a conversation with someone and say, hey, you have to trust me. I'm creating trust with you. That's not how it works. What it means is that you have to build an environment where people trust that you have their best interest at heart. That what you're trying to do is creating a stake in helping them be better. And that can't happen out of the blue. It's an ongoing process. If there is no trust, then it doesn't matter how much feedback you give the other person will not take you seriously at all. As demonstrated in my previous example, right. Make sure to keep it private. Feedback again is a very private thing. It's between the giver and the receiver. The receiver can choose to share with whoever and how many other people they want. But at the end of the day, it's theirs to share because it's something that is very personal to them. So make sure you don't decide to give feedback to someone in the middle of the team. They're saying, hey, I got feedback for you and just like completely ruined the whole trust factor there. Also don't be aggressive when giving feedback. And this is again, this goes back to trying to be objective. If you're emotional, if you're upset, if you're angry, it's not the best time to give feedback. Take a minute, sleep on it. If you have someone you trust, share it with them. Say, hey, this happened. I want to give feedback. How do you think I should go about it? Get get feedback on giving feedback. So it's very important to not be aggressive when giving feedback because then it overpowers the conversation you're trying to have. And it's hard to stay objective. Keep it focused and small. Don't wait a year before you decide to give someone feedback because then it's too much for them. They don't know where to start. I have an example for that as well. So when I first joined my first job, we were part of a training program which was about six weeks long. Each person was assigned a trainer or a mentor that was their coach. And the job of the coach was to help each trainee get the best out of the program. My coach for whatever reason wasn't a very forthcoming person with their feedback. Even though I went to them sometime in week two or three and said, hey, can you give me some feedback? Why am I doing what's happening? That conversation went nowhere. Week six, which is the last week of the training program, he comes to me and says, hey, so you got to pull your shit together. Otherwise they're going to fire you. Now at that point, I've had six weeks of stuff that has piled on. I don't know where to start to not get fired. And this person wasn't very helpful despite the fact that I've asked for feedback before. If he had given me feedback week on week, then maybe we wouldn't be in a position where I was risking getting fired. Obviously I didn't get fired. Things worked out okay in the end. But that is an example of especially if you're someone who's in a position of authority like a manager or a team lead, make sure to give feedback frequently and in smaller doses so that people have something to work on and to also show you that they have been working on the feedback that you've given them. And that's what brings me to the next point, which is to reinforce the feedback that you've given. It doesn't stop at just giving feedback. That's not where the work stops. If you've given someone feedback and you notice that they've actually made changes based on their feedback, make sure to call it out. Make sure to reinforce it saying, hey, I saw that you worked on the feedback I gave you and this is the change I'm noticing. Well done. That one, re-itrates the trust you created. It makes the person trust that you have their best interest at heart. And it makes them more keen to come and ask you for feedback in the future. And it encourages them to keep working on the feedback that you've given them. So those were things about giving feedback. Before I move on, how about we chat for a bit and see if anyone has any questions or stories to share. You can put it in the chat. I just saw it gives a comment. Yes, feedback about feedback. You were in the chat, you can unmute yourself, ask any questions, share your stories. Absolutely. Yes, I'm actually going to be talking about that in a bit. So, but yes, very true game that it's good to ask people how they like to receive feedback. Some people prefer prison private door. Yes, very accurate. It's a good practice to schedule a voice meeting for a feedback. Sorry, can you elaborate on that? Actually, just honing in on the wording there a little bit, right? Actually, feedback should always, always, always, and I strongly suggest it should be given in person instead of in writing. Unless someone specifically requests feedback in writing for, let's say, a performance review or whatever. Even in that case, you're welcome to write it down, but make sure that you have a conversation with them before you put it in writing, because written communication has way too much capacity for misunderstandings and for things not going the way you expect them to. And I'll cover that a little bit more in the receiving part as well. Please, as much as possible, make sure you're having a conversation. And that's also what I meant by make it a conversation that it should be face to face. It should be in person as far as possible. Even in these days, yes, it should be over a video chat or a voice call rather than over email. So, yeah. All right, let's move on to how do you receive effective feedback? So admittedly, receiving effective feedback does not require as much thinking as giving feedback, but there's still a whole bunch of stuff that is involved to make sure you receive feedback well. First and foremost, ask for feedback. Instead of waiting for someone to come and tell you, hey, I want to give you some feedback, proactively go up to people you trust, go up to people who you think would give you effective feedback and ask for it. And that's where Gabe's point comes in as well, that this is also a good opportunity for you to tell them how you want to receive feedback. So, for example, a technique that I was taught, so to say, or someone mentioned to me a while back was called the sandwich technique, which meant you start with something positive or something they've been doing well, then put in something that they would need to improve on and end with something that they've been doing well as well. I also had a mentor who would come ask me for feedback and tell me, please don't give me any of that sandwich shit, tell me what I need to work on. So whatever works for people, right? But as a receiver, the best way to receive feedback is to proactively ask for it. It also shows the receiver that you're actually in a position to, it also shows the giver that you're in a position to receive feedback. So they don't have to worry about that. Try not to be defensive, don't tell them what you meant, what your intentions were. Whatever they're saying is how it has impacted them. When you start being defensive while receiving feedback, what you're doing is invalidating the giver's experience. And that's unfair. And again, going back to offenses taken not given, that's not true. Even if I wasn't trying to offend somebody, there's a possibility that I did. And if I got feedback on it, I'll be more careful about how I work things. Not being defensive doesn't mean that you should just accept whatever they say. It is still important to ask for clarifications because at the end of the day, you are looking for something to improve on, or something that you want to continue doing that you're already doing well. And it's important to have full information to be able to act on that feedback. This one I cannot emphasize enough and that's why it's the only one in bold. Say thank you to the person giving you feedback. Even if you don't agree with it, even if you have no intentions of working on that feedback, it's important to acknowledge that someone has taken the time and effort to tell you things that they think you can improve on or that you should continue doing. They have taken the time and effort to show you that they have a stake in you improving your work. I'm talking from a work context here primarily. And that they have a stake in you doing well and that you trust them enough to be able to acknowledge that feedback. And finally, take action on the feedback they've given you. Getting feedback is great. Giving feedback is great. But it's completely pointless if no actions are taken to actually act on that feedback. With that, I've talked about giving and receiving feedback. I want to introduce you to something called the givers and receivers fantasy. The givers fantasy is that the receiver will act on all the feedback and everything's going to be just great. The receivers fantasy is that, oh, I have to follow all the feedback that I've been given whether I like it or not. And if I do that, then everything will work out fine. But the reality is that the receiver is not compelled to act on the givers feedback in any way or shape or form, especially if it's not relevant or doable. Like if I were to tell you, you have to learn an entirely new programming language within the coming week, then that's not doable. But if the feedback is something that you can act on, then it's completely necessary and important that you take some actions to act on that because of everything that we've talked about. Now here, I also want to cover a few other things where this whole giver and receiver dynamic doesn't quite work. For example, performance related conversations with your team lead or manager. In that case, it's not feedback. You're going to be like, no, don't agree with it, not going to accept it. In that case, this is something that is necessary for you to do your job well, to form your job well. And in that case, you don't necessarily have the luxury of just pretending that it doesn't really matter. Another example of when feedback is not relevant is where you have a group of people or your team and you get opposing views on the feedback from people. In this case, you have to pick and choose what is the one that you want to work on. Again, there's a lot of context in world. Sometimes people see things differently. If let's say in my past experience when I've been the only female developer on the team, my experience will be different from the other developers on the team and I may see things differently. But in that case, if I were to give someone feedback, I don't know if they'll think of it as relevant and that's fine. They are not compelled to act on it. So in closing, there are tips and tricks to giving feedback. There are tips and tricks to receiving feedback. At the end of the day, things that matter is trust and believe that people have your best interests at heart. And take what you will take everything with a drain of salt, act on things that you think are relevant. That will help you do your job better. That will help you be a better person. That will help you work well with others on your team. And if that doesn't apply, then you don't have to do it. With that, thank you very much. If you have any questions or any feedback, then you can either write to me or you have my Twitter there. Please feel free to reach out. Thank you. And with that, you can unmute and talk to me if you have questions. All right, I see a few questions here. So how best to ask for feedback, especially when working remotely? Exactly the way you would do in person. Write to them and say, hey, can I set up some time with you? Maybe whenever it works for you, I'd like you to give me some feedback and make sure it's a video or voice call and don't do it and write in. It's exactly the same thing. Yes, there are some boundaries, which is why I'm suggesting a video call because when you talk about conversations, a lot of it is also non-verbal as much as it is verbal. Comment on the best ways to give feedback in the three circumstances of differing powers of hierarchy upwards, downwards and to peers, especially to peers or across organization functions. So I think when it comes to giving feedback, it also depends on what the culture of feedback within your company is. Not every company is okay with giving feedback to someone who's higher up than you. With peers, all of this applies. Everything that I've said about giving and receiving feedback. When it comes to giving feedback to someone who's lower in the hierarchy than you, I still think all of this applies. You still have to be respectful. You still have to be objective. You still have to be specific. But there you get to pick and choose what, which parts of your feedback are negotiable and which are not. So as a leader, as manager, team lead, whatever, you have to decide which of this is feedback which you think will make someone more effective at their job versus something that they need to do to do their job well. Does that answer the question? And I think the same applies to across functions. As long as you've had an interaction with the person and you have something that you think they can benefit from having a conversation about, feel free to give feedback. But again, depends on what kind of culture you have. All right. From Gabe, one of the great tip I heard once, even when you ask many people often reluctant to share criticism with you, very true. Just on that, there's criticism and negative feedback are terms I personally don't like using. There is no such thing as negative feedback. You have either things you're doing well or things you need to improve on. So the whole negative connotation actually puts a bit of a dent on the trust factor. So instead, if you frame it as this thing I just did, if you were to rate it one to five and you didn't think it was absolutely perfect five, no room for improvement, I don't even need you to tell me what you rated, but please tell me one specific suggestion on how I could raise it from a one to a two or a two to a three, et cetera. I find that this helps people feel more comfortable sharing also because they don't feel like they need to give you feedback to fix everything about whatever you're talking about. Absolutely. Yeah. I think this is why I focused quite, I won't say quite a bit, but I mentioned that it's always better to ask for feedback than to have someone give you feedback because then you're in control of what you want from them, what you're expecting, how you would expect them to give them that information. Yeah, I get it. I think I just wanted to like sort of nitpick a little bit on the criticism and negative feedback aspect. I know you didn't say negative feedback. If you've given feedback multiple times on the same issue and it continues to occur, what's the next course of action? In that case, you have no option really, but to decide how critical it is that you want to take it further up the ladder. If, for example, if someone's constantly being sexist or racist on a team, those are the most common examples I can think of at this point because I've seen them on my own teams. At that point, it's no longer a question of feedback. It's a question of creating a healthy work environment. And then it has to be taken up the ladder. It has to be raised with the right people who can then address it. But in my experience, more often than not, most people are reasonable, rational people who, when you tell them that, hey, this thing you did, it's not okay, it's offensive in X, Y or Z way, then they will make an effort. If by any chance you've been on the receiving end of something like that, then you can always say, okay, can you suggest what I can do to improve it? So to give you an example, I was given feedback saying that when I really got into an argument and I thought that people weren't really listening or weren't understanding my point of view, I had a tendency to get rude. And I had never realized that on my own, but given that feedback, I told the person giving me that feedback, okay, I didn't realize it. Can you please point it out to me the next time it happens? So I'm accepting the responsibility of my actions, but I'm also asking for help on how to go ahead and improve it. Does that answer your question, CK, on what's the next course of action? Okay, perfect. Did I miss anything? Give all of this is great advice for relationships too? Yeah. But I don't know if I want to go to my partner and be like, hey, can you give me some feedback? All right. If there are any other questions, please, please feel free to write me at any point in time. And with that, I'm done. Thank you. Thank you so much, Isha. Okay, so one more screen for today. Please go down to the URL here to leave feedback about what you feel about today's session. And yeah, I think we are at the part where you can get to network with each other. I'm not sure how this is going to happen. Might go.