 I'm just gonna read two little pieces from it because children's lit is short, so I can do a bit in five minutes, sort of. And I'm not used to reading for groups of queer adults, I'm used to reading for children, so let's see how this goes. I'd say good. So the first piece I'm gonna read is from a scene where Melissa, who is George, people know her as George, but she's Melissa, wants to be Charlotte in her school play of Charlotte's Web by E.B. White. And it's time for the auditions, so let's hear her audition. Mijidell asked the boys who wished to audition to raise their hands. George joined them, lifting her hand just to the height of her head. Mijidell counted six blue index cards, shuffled them, passed them out, along with six fresh copies of the practice part. George was number six, last, the longest to possibly wait until her audition with Wilbur staring up at her in bold thick letters. George slumped in her chair and turned the page over. Mijidell then distributed nine pink cards to girls who raised outstretched fingers and mouthed numbers to each other. Yes, exclaimed Kelly, who waved two fingers in the air at George like a victory sign. Dinelle stood waving a card with number one on it. She held the door open for Mijidell, who pushed her chair into the hallway where they both disappeared. George listened closely, but she couldn't hear a sound from the hallway over the murmurs and rustling papers inside the classroom. George tried to bury her mind in her homework. Monday's night homework always took forever because the spelling words were also vocabulary words. And Mijidell insisted that each student write an official dictionary definition of each word before using it in a sentence. With Mrs. Field's permission, George headed to the back of the room. By the time George was back in her chair, Dinelle popped her head in through the doorway. Kelly bounded up and rushed out the door. Soon, she came beaming back into the classroom and announced with great flourish, number three, year up. Kelly gave George a thumbs up sign and hunched over in her seat. A few minutes later on her way to pick up a dictionary from the back of the room, she dropped a note on George's desk. It was folded into a small square. When George opened it, the folds formed a grid across the page. The note read, Charlotte, you'll be R-A-D-I-A-N-T, Kelly. George couldn't help but grin. Radiant was one of the words Charlotte had woven into her web to save Wilbur. And it had been one of their vocabulary words last week. It meant beaming and sparkling and George couldn't think of a finer compliment. She took a break from her homework to recite her lines silently. She remembered them all and knew just when to pause to give the words their best effect. Maddie looked pale when she left the room and even paler when she came back. Emma clenched her lines tightly. Maybe if the girls were terrible enough, Midgetell would be so relieved that George was good that she wouldn't care that George wasn't a girl. At least not a regular girl. There was a long wait after the last girl came back into the room as Midgetell listened to the students for Mr. Jackson's class. Eventually, Midgetell came in to announce that it was time for the boys to take their turns. Robert was first and came back bragging, beat that number too. But George wasn't worried about the boys. Her competition was already back in their seats writing definitions for words like gesture and narrator. Finally, the fifth boy, Chris, went out into the hallway. He was a chubby white kid with a toothy grin. He returned with a smile wider than ever and danced victoriously back to his seat. Then it was George's turn. You don't have your sheet, George, Midgetell said. Don't need it. That's a good sign. It means you must have practiced. Midgetell gave a kind smile, but do speak up. Before Midgetell could say anything else, George closed her eyes and began. The first words rushed out of her mouth but then she slowed into the cage and she had practiced. She felt herself as Charlotte and gave each word her full attention as it left her tongue. The words felt even more like hers than they had in Kelly's room. George reached the end of Charlotte's monologue and was ready for the dialogue with Wilbur that followed, but George didn't hear her cue. She opened her eyes. Midgetell was frowning and a thick crease had formed across her forehead. George, what was that, she asked. I started George, but there were no words to finish the sentence. Was that supposed to be some kind of joke? Because it wasn't very funny. It wasn't a joke, I want to be Charlotte. George's voice sounded much smaller now that she was speaking her own words. You know I can't very well, can't cast you as Charlotte. I have too many girls who want the part. Besides, imagine how confused people would be. Now, if you're interested in being Wilbur, that's a possibility or maybe Templeton, he's a funny guy. No thanks, I just wanted, okay then Midgetell, I'd George oddly. For now we need to get into the room to get ready to go. Would you hold the door for me? Midgetell pushed her chair back into the classroom shaking her head. She announced that it was time to pack up and sent George's fro first to the coat closet. George muttered to herself as she loaded her mouth book into her bag. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid body, stupid brain, stupid boys and stupid girls. Stupid everything. She kicked at the leg of her desk knocking it into Emma's chair in front of her. Emma turned back to give George a dirty look. George stared intently at the speckle tile floor and wished she were home in bed. When Midgetell called her row, Joyce hoisted her bag onto her back and shuffled over to the boys line still staring at the ground. In the yard Kelly bounded up to George her ponytail flopping behind her. So how did it go? What did she think? Was she impressed or what? I bet she let you beat Charlotte. I don't wanna talk about it. George scraped her foot against the pavement. What happened Kelly cried? Grabbing George by the shoulders. Did you mess up? Leave me alone. George jerked back and tried to head to her bus. Did she not like it? No Kelly, she didn't like it. She hated it. She said that? Kelly's eyes were wide. She thought it was a joke. Oh well, at least you tried. Kelly shrugged. That's what my dad says. Ah! George screamed in Kelly's face. I don't want to hear what your dad says. Kelly's shoulders shrank. She opened and closed her mouth and then headed toward her bus line. George took the steep steps down to her own bus and shuffled along the narrow corridor, her feet sticking to the rubbery floor. She picked an empty seat midway back and hoped no one would take the spot next to her. Hugging her backpack tightly, she buried her head in the dark space between the backpack and her chest and held back her tears. So that wasn't how I wanted to leave things because that's sad. And it's a children's book and children's books can be sad, but mine isn't. I mean, it has some sad in it because it's a book, but for me it was more important to give hope than reality. I mean, somewhere between the two, but so this is the other scene I'm gonna read. It is Melissa and her family, which is her mom and her brother going to a buffet after Melissa has just been beaten up at school and told her mom that she's a girl. So Scott leapt out of Randy's house the moment mom hunked the horn as though he had been waiting at the doorknob. He filled the car with a rant about his history teacher followed by a tirade about his math teacher and a torrent about his biology teacher. The man wants us to dissect a worm. I would think you would find that gruesome and this appealing, said mom. Not if I have to diagram every last body part to scale, it's gonna be a pain in the butt. But if I'm gonna diagram something, why can't at least be a frog? That would be cool. If you think it's hard on you, just imagine how the worm feels. George was glad that Scott was diverting mom's attention. She didn't wanna be asked why she was smiling after having been beaten up and sent home from school, but she was ecstatic about the idea of playing Charlotte on stage and it was hard not to show it. Oh, Melissa has already hatched a plan that she's gonna be on stage too, so I forgot to mention that. Mom turned into Arnie's all-you-can-eat buffet and rolled into a spot facing the roof building. Red awnings with thick green borders hung across the wide windows of the large squat building. A long banner stretching across the front of the restaurant proclaimed, over 100 items cooked fresh every day. Inside, happy eaters sat at booths and tables, their plates filled with food forwards from a dozen different cuisines and heaps of each person's favorites. No one waited on tables at Arnie's and no one waited for their meals. Instead, endless buffet trays lined one long wall of the restaurant. People dressed all in white carried out full trays of food to the buffet and brought empty trays back into the kitchen. Tables filled with soda and lemonade glasses. Mom paid at the door and unleashed her children on the buffet while she found a table. George filled her plate with fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn fritters, pizza, a pile of nachos, and a cube of cherry jello hidden under a taco to eat while mom was getting her own food. Even at Arnie's, mom said you should have dinner before dessert. George went back to the table while mom took her turn at the buffet. Scott sat down soon after. What's up with mom? He asked from behind a plate, piled high with ham, turkey, and chicken topped with two slices of pizza. She never takes us out to Arnie's on a weekday unless she's upset about something. Yeah, well. George looked over at mom who was still picking out lettuce for her salad. I kind of got into a fight at school. Scott's head shot up in surprise and his brow grew heavy. When I got into a fight at school, I got grounded. How did you work Arnie's out of it? I also kind of told her something. It must have been big. Mom's staring at the beats like a zombie. It was. Did you tell her you were gay? Scott twisted his fork into a pile of mashed potatoes. You know I'm okay with that, right? Before dad left, he made me promise to take care of you. He said you were like that. I'm not gay, George said. Why did everyone think she was gay? Whatever, I don't care. My friend Matt is gay, it's no big deal. But it was a big deal. I told her, I think I'm a girl. Oh, that was all Scott said at first. Oh, Scott chewed, swallowed and took another bite of pizza. The background noise of the restaurant throbbed in George's ears. She wished Scott would say something even if it was mean. Oh, Scott took a bite of turkey. Oh, Scott began to nod slowly. He turned to George, whose stomach had jumped with each O and was now nearly in her throat. That's more than just being gay. No wonder she's freaking out. I know. Scott put down his fork. So do you? Do I what? I think you're a girl. Yes, George was surprised at how easy that question was to answer. Oh, Scott ripped a hunk off a roll with his teeth and chewed thoughtfully. Mom returned with a green salad topped with raw vegetables and a vinaigrette dressing. She finished it quickly and dropped her plate off in a dish bin. Mom always started her meal at Arnie's with a salad. She said it was healthy, not to mention delicious. But she always ate it quickly and then returned with a plate just as decadent as George's and Scott's. Scott had nod silently on a chicken wing while mom ate her salad. But once she got up and approached the appetizer bar, he dropped the bone onto his plate. I know about your magazines, he said. She has some teenage girl magazines like Teen Girl, Teen Beat, things like that. Mom told you? Nah, I found them this weekend. And new mom was upset about something and then I saw the bag sitting on her bed. Dude, I thought you had porn or something in there. So I took a peek, you know, just to find out what kind of stuff my little bro was into. So I figured you were gay, but I didn't think you were like that. Scott popped a corn fritter into his mouth. So like, do you want to, you made a gesture with two fingers, like a pair of scissors. Go all the way. George squeezed her legs together. Maybe someday, she said. Weird, but it kind of makes sense. I mean, no offense, but you don't make a very good boy. I know. Mom returned to the table and the conversation was dropped. All three of them stuffed their faces until they dragged their very full stomachs into the car, groaning all the way, much like Templeton the Rat after his night of indulgence at the fair. All three of them crashed in front of the television when they got home. They watched a sitcom about a family with 12 kids. The jokes mostly focused on what an empty, on the empty fridge and full bathroom. George wondered what it would be like to live with so many people. Maybe each kid got noticed less. With mom eyeing her from her chair, George wondered whether maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Scott snuck glances her way too, but where mom's eyes are filled with concern and confusion, Scott looked at George as if his sibling made sense to him for the first time. George had never been gladder to have an older brother.