 Number one, they try to maintain the advantage. Are you familiar with the term gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that makes you not trust your own emotions. Gaslighters make you question your judgment by dismissing, downplaying, or questioning your needs. Here's what it looks like. I only did it because I love you. Using love as an excuse, I didn't cheat, you're imagining things. Deflecting, these are just a few examples of gaslighting but it can also appear in the form of punishment, isolation, and narcissism. It's a well-worn tactic used to maintain an advantage. Toxic relationships revolve around maintaining the upper hand through various tactics. Yet another is called probing, asking you seemingly innocuous questions about you and your life. Typically they appear vulnerable and encourage you to be vulnerable with them, making you feel special from the rest. However, later on, they weaponize your insecurities against you to get you to do what they want. An emotional manipulator may try to get an advantage by keeping arguments and discussions on their turf, an emotional or intellectual turf, something they know well. In doing so, they retain an advantage in the power dynamic of your relationship. Number two, they alter facts, or shall we say, lying. Yeah, we all lie, but what matters about the lie you just told is the intention. Typically, emotional manipulators have bad intentions. Hence, they might resort to lying and exaggerating an event or minimizing their rule in a conflict to appear vulnerable to gain your sympathy. Though it's not advisable to always approach people with such cynicism, you should be wary of those you feel are trying to take advantage of you. Number three, they undermine your intelligence. I wouldn't expect you to know this, but this might be over your head. I'll explain it again really slowly this time. Do these snippets sound familiar? Another sign of toxic behaviors when someone undermines your intelligence. Another great example is mansplaining. Whether they deliberately intended to question your intelligence or not, the feeling of being treated as though your thoughts are not good enough is hurtful. Also, a toxic person is one who usually undermines your intelligence by overwhelming you with jargon to impose their own intelligence upon you. Yikes. Number four, they assassinate your character. Do you know anyone who always gossips about others all the time? There's a high chance that they might do that to you too. According to Merriam-Webster, character assassination is the slandering of a person to destroy the public's confidence in that person. An emotionally abusive person resorts to character assassination to make you depend and rely on them more. They'll divulge personal information about you to others and feign innocence if accused. Number five, they make you feel bad for voicing your concerns. Has this person ever made you feel guilty for voicing your concerns? In a healthy relationship, you should never feel bad for expressing your concerns or needs. Relationships are not one-sided. A notable characteristic of this behavior is trying to diminish or downplay your concerns. The other person may react aggressively or try to make you feel guilty whenever you voice your concerns by using well-placed questions or suggestions. Number six, they diminish your problems and play up their own. A fine example of toxic positivity that certainly plays a role in such relationships. Someone who seeks to manipulate you emotionally will try to undermine your emotions to make theirs seem humongous in comparison. By using phrases such as, no, you think that's bad, it's nothing compared to what I experienced. They manipulate you to think of their problems only. The common thread in these examples is that they shift the focus away from you and onto them, signalling that their experience and emotions are a priority. You're left with little choice but to sympathize with them and put your concerns firmly on the shelf. And number seven, they act like a martyr. What is martyr complex? A martyr complex is a destructive pattern of behavior in which a person habitually seeks out suffering or persecution because it either feeds their need or a desire to avoid responsibility. Has anyone ever complained and whined in a way that elicits pity so that you may eventually take on their responsibilities or end up cutting them way too much slack? Such behavior is toxic and successfully erodes relationships. A martyr complex harms relationships because it removes responsibility from one person onto another, thus creating an imbalance. Deep down, they believe that others are responsible for their unhappiness and hardships, not them. Over time, their behavior can make you feel overwhelmed and emotionally compromised while chances of them feeling guilty or ashamed are slim, if any. Setting boundaries will help you move on from such a relationship. It will help you prioritize your needs and focus on your growth and betterment, which might require you to leave behind relationships that did not nor will serve you in the future. But often you might find such toxicity coming from those who you cannot simply walk away from. In that case, once identified, there are many ways to handle such toxic behavior. One is take accountability for your actions. Two, set boundaries. And three, try not to engage by one-upping them. These are some useful ways of minimizing the damage. Most of the time you will not get an apology, but you can apologize for your part. If you relate to the toxic behaviors and realize that you've hurt someone else, acknowledge the mistakes and apologize. But don't be too hard on yourself though. To better yourself, identifying and understanding the reason why you might have these behaviors is a good place to start. Lastly, if you find yourself too entangled with someone toxic in your life, seek the help of a licensed professional for assistance and guidance. Best of luck with your future relationships and take care. Do any of these describe your experience? Leave a comment down below about your encounters with them if you'd like. Please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well. If you found this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there using or being subjected to these phrases. Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more new content. As always, thanks for watching.