 I don't expect that every time. Before I pick up and talk about me too, I would like to invite up Maria Emerson from Manila Vermont to come to each other. At the National Alliance on Mental Illness of Vermont, and not in Vermont's mission is to support, educate, and advocate for communities and individuals and family members with mental illness. And we do that through many different ways. With our educational programs, we're able to offer family members information about how to help their loved one, as well as coping strategies, a crisis plan, and as well other programs that we have are our support groups. We have support groups for both family members and individuals with mental illness, which really helps people connect with one another so that you feel that you're not alone. You get to share resources, coping strategies, and you just feel like it's a second family to you when you need someone to talk to. Other things that we do at Manila Vermont are presentations. And some of our presentations, we want to reach younger students. We want to even reach elementary students. So some of the things that we have to offer are a coloring book, a Greenwood Monster, where they get to explore their feelings. And able to talk about their feelings. So we've been presenting our Manila Silence presentation to middle and high school students. And counselors are telling me, we need to start younger. We need to start elementary school. So we're starting that conversation. And we're trying to open up that dialogue. And that's what Non-Manila Vermont does. It's our core competency as our lived experience, where we share our stories and we let people know that they're not alone. And with me, too, you're breaking the stigma. You're breaking barriers by just being here and enjoying the music, being authentic. And that's what we do at Non-Manila Vermont as well. Tomorrow we go to a conference. And we're back in person, finally. So it's going to be a great day. We've got over 220 people that are registered. So we're very happy that people are coming out, to meet in person again. And we also have a lot of advocacy work going on. We're advocating at committees, advisory groups, work groups. We're advocating for mental health awareness, as well as legislation. Because we want everybody to feel like they belong. So I want to thank the Me Too orchestra for inviting us to be here today. And we'd love to have you folks involved with us. We're a volunteer organization. But we do have a paid presentation available for people who wanted to present patients for us. So we hope you'll get involved with us. Thank you so much. Hello, everybody, and welcome. My name is Marguerite. I'm a member of Me Too orchestra. And it is a tradition for our orchestra to commence with a breathing exercise, a mindful moment to get ourselves centered. And today, I invite you all to join us as well. So please put your feet flat on the floor. Drop your shoulders away from your ears, and you can close your eyes or lower your gaze. I will count our first breath, and then you'll take three more on your own tongue. All right, let's breathe in, two, three, four, and back. Two, three, four. Thank you, and enjoy. I'm going to come to the balcony and be excited to see there are people up there. What a great view. My name is Phoenix Crocket, and I'm the managing director of Me Too for a living thing. I've been in this orchestra for a long time, first as a musician, and more recently, a management position. Each week, this group of awesome musicians who I feel very united with, who I love very much, gets together and tries to create what we call our stigma-free zone. Now, what that means is we all know that there is a certain stigma that can be associated with mental illness. We want to try to set that aside intentionally, on purpose, so we can come together and enjoy our world of classical music together somewhat outside of that. Many of these musicians live in mental health diagnoses themselves, or have loved ones who do. We've been doing this for 13 years now. This is the first concert of this 13th season. This show is dedicated to honor the memory of Tim Swanson. And now, over to nothing. It has a bit of a dance theme. If you looked at the program, you may have noticed that dance shows up on a lot of the titles, or other titles that suggest movements of different dance styles. So this is kind of the theme that is established by the very first piece that you've heard here by Johannes Brahms, his classic Hungarian dance number five. And in many ways, Brahms really kind of created the template for a lot of other orchestral composers when it came to finding ways to appropriate dance into classical music. For anybody who's heard of Brahms that said to me, you know how incredibly serious a composer he was. Brahms, I had a much lighter side. He loved folk music in particular, and folk dance. And so he created these Hungarian dances to kind of give himself an opportunity to explore that side of his musical personality. And in so doing, he really did, as I said, create a template that has been explored by many, many other composers as we are going to see in this program. We're going to switch gears here a little bit from the kind of high energy intense dance that you just heard, for a much more sedate and stately kind of dance known as a pavon. So the next two selections that you are going to hear both have the same title, pavon. But they're very different interpretations of that dance style. The first comes from the French composer Gabriel Foret. And his pavon is very stately, very beautiful, really almost rapsomic. The second pavon you're going to hear is an entirely different take by the American composer Morton Gould. Morton Gould was really raised on American jazz and popular music, and really incorporates that style into so much of his music. And you're going to hear that in his pavon, which is a much more lighthearted approach to this dance style. So these are two very different pavons, Gabriel Foret and Morton Gould. Good experiences. So now we will engage in another division of the music orchestra, where one of our orchestra members comes and addresses the audience. Agreed? You might remember me from earlier. I asked you to breathe. Don't worry. I won't ask you to do that again. But please feel free to continue to do so. I stand up in front of my orchestra every week. But this is the first time I've done so in this capacity to share a little bit about my story. So here's a little background on me. When I was five, I was invited to my friend's violin concert. And though I don't remember it specifically right now, it must have made a big impact on me. Because after the concert, without any prompting, I marched my little Mary James right up to the front where the teacher was and told her, I was going to be taking lessons with her starting immediately. And true to my word, here I am 25 years later. I took lessons from her for 12 years and continued my musical journey throughout my whole life. Now, I know my five-year-old self could express it. But as an adult, I have found that in order to be the master of my emotions, I need to find the opportunities to create beautiful things and to collaborate with like-minded human beings. I gravitated towards the creativity that my instrument gave me. But with this glorious discovery, a newfound fear also reared its head, being heard. Music as a solo artist has always paralyzed me, because it means I'm on display. I'm buried by soul out for anyone to hear. And, judge, auditions were the bane of my existence easily the worst day of the year. But I pushed through because I knew on the other side, there was a safe haven that would sell the mood, collaboration through orchestral music. I found an avenue that gave me a cover enough to sing at, because, driving true, there is safety in numbers. So when I moved back to Vermont, after being away at college and then being abroad, I again was hunting for something to fill my musical void. My friend, Annie Coppick, told me about this organization called Me Too, a community orchestra that did not require an audition to join. I did not need any more information. I was writing a sign up right there. A little did I know that this organization and its mission was going to give me all that I hoped for and more. Not only do I fill my musical, creative, and collaborative bucket with these incredible people every week. I still have found out that after two decades, plus of playing music, I still have things to learn. And I've grown a new confidence in my abilities. Last season, for the first time ever, I was told by our conductor that I was playing too loud. And I needed to quiet down. That had never happened before. And last week, when I played my violin in front of my kindergarten class, which happens multiple times a year, it was the first time I played without combating shaking fingers. So in the last six years, Me Too and in Stigma Fruso has helped me settle into my music studentship like never before with confidence to play like I'm not being judged. Because guess what? I'm not. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for sharing your story with me. And I don't remember how many you played too loud. One time. We're going to continue our program with music at Samuel Coleridge-Taylor, a black British composer from the 19th century. And although he was born and raised in Britain, Coleridge-Taylor was very in touch with this African heritage. And in fact, I've created a work that he entitled 24 New York Dances that was inspired by Johannes Brahms and his Hungarian dances. We heard from Brahms and Williams' program and Antonin de Bourjog, with his Slavonic dances, which were going to be here later in the program. So you can see these points of connection between these composers. And this was a very meaningful connection for Coleridge-Taylor, who was really hoping to create the kind of experience with these dances that he had experienced himself as a musician with music of Brahms and de Bourjog. One of these dances, in particular, really kind of stayed with Coleridge-Taylor. And it was a dance called the Bamboula. And so when he got a commission from an American source, to write a work for the New Yorker harmonic, he decided to keep working with this particular dance. He thought there was so much potential in this dance. And so you're going to hear really fully and richly explored in this work that he called the Bamboula, a rhapsodic dance, to part from our dance theme, in particular, for reasons that, as Phoenix mentioned at the top of the program, we are dedicating our, we lost Tim earlier this year. Before saying anything else, I want to acknowledge that we have Tim's mother over here with us this evening. It's so great to see you. Thank you so much for joining us here tonight. And it is with Hope's permission and encouragement that we might be as honest and forthright and to let you know that Tim, sadly and tragically, took his own life. This, of course, will be devastating to any community, but especially to a community like me, too, for which mental health is such a core part. But for several reasons, we really thought it was important to share with us. We'll be very honest and in tandem with you. First and foremost, Hope shared with us that it was critical that I share in this message that others who are struggling with anxiety and depression as Tim did may not feel quite so alone. The second part of the reason why we feel like it's important to share this is, as I said, mental health is really what we, too, is all about. And improved the phrase stigma-free zone. And I don't think there are any things that carry more stigma than taking one's own life. And last, but certainly not least, is that Tim was a very honest and forthright person himself. He spoke very briefly about his own struggles. And in fact, in his own obituary, which I know that Tim had a very beautiful obituary, in the very first paragraph, he talked about how he came to the decision after months and months. And honestly, from what Hope has told me, perhaps years of struggling with anxiety and depression. And that he could not reach this decision lightly, because he knew the incredible sadness this would bring to his family and loved ones. But for him, this was the only way that he could find peace. And I think it's really important that we understand the struggles that Tim went through, to the best of our ability, that as advocates, as allies, as friends, loved ones, as supporters, as members of this community, it is incumbent upon all of us to always be in touch with what's going on in the lives of people that we know, whether those are friends or family or colleagues. And that we are doing our best to reach out to support those important people to listen. And of course, we all long for. We all pray for those success stories of people who could overcome these feelings of depression and anxiety. But that's not always the way that these stories can be. It's important that we realize this. But the other thing that is so important, and what I really want to emphasize here tonight, is that it's important that we not allow the manner of Tim's death to overshadow our admiration for Tim's life. Because Tim did indeed lead a beautiful life. He was kind, he was generous, he was gentle, and he was so giving. Now, I don't pretend to have known Tim well. I knew him for this last year. But from even that brief time that I knew Tim, and more importantly, all the wonderful stories that I've heard about him, how kind, how patient have given, especially how generous he was. Especially in terms of his incredible musical talent, he not only played with me too, but with several local groups here at Burlington, several of which I had the chance to hear at a memorial service that was held at the Scholar Vineyard a few weeks ago. It was so clear to me in the music that was played and the messages that he heard of how incredibly generous Tim was. One last thought I want to share with you is that I chose the work that you're about to hear, which is the Nimrod variation from Edward O'Garris' and Nimrod variations. Several weeks ago, just feeling instinctively that this was the right piece to play on Tim's memory. And we've only found out this recently in correspondence between Hope and Caroline Lindar, executive director, that Tim had specifically asked that this piece be played at his memorial service. Because, in his words, and we know this from Hope, this was perhaps the most beautiful piece of music. And so the opportunity to honor the beauty of Tim's life with the beauty of this incredible music is just so meaningful to us. So we now, in honor of Tim Swanson, present Edward O'Garris' Nimrod variation from the Nimrod version. Here at the museum, it was just shared to be a lot full. So it's at this time that I mentioned my name, John. I'm going to hold for a second and then I want to talk. After the show, please do. I'm here. That's part of what we do. On the other side of things, now that we're all here together and in the room and experiencing the wonderful advocacy work that Nami does and that me too has done, I'm going to get to the last tradition of the night, which is, at every show, we do a Q&A. Now I know I didn't give you time to prepare questions. I want you to reach on inside of there anything that you've been wondering and throwing out to me. And if I don't know the answer, I'll point to someone who does or to say that I don't know, which I have to do a lot more. This question is, where does the Tiffany go after the show? Into my key, it's the governor. Oh yeah, we have a clause up for it. Typically practiced at the Robert Miller Civic Center in Burlington at 130 Goss Court. Should you ever want to show up? 7 p.m. on Tuesdays. And then you can see the Tiffany and all their lovely glory. We play at the Robert Miller Civic Center at 130 Goss Court, Burlington, yes. Before looking for others. You're not currently associated with the local church. You will always accept offensive prayer. We have in the orchestra. Now I don't want to call anyone out. But I do know that we have players in our 70s today and we have players in our 20s today. When I started many years ago as a wild-eyed 18-year-old who very much needed the direction, there was someone who was playing behind me who was either 90s and we had a 12-year-old at the time. So we're pretty open to players. Do you have a need of donation of instruments? The question is, do we have a need of donation of instruments? It's not the first time that that's come up today. I've never personally accepted the donation of an instrument. Well, you surely would, especially if there are people in the community that we knew of that would love to play with us but for a lot of instruments, the best situation came up. That would be lovely. Yes. And speaking of donations, there is a box for cashier checks or other such things at the front. That's good. Yeah, right? It's like I practiced. Or you can go to our website. There is a gift paid in U-run. Of course, it's higher than that. Donations, we are a five-year-old instrument. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not a proper organization. And almost all of our funding comes from grassroot stuff, from small donations, from people like you who see our shows who believe in our mission. And you think that we deserve that support. I love the question. That's great. When are we coming back to Brattleboro? It's not currently in the works. It's going to happen. We love SBAC. We love that venue. They treat us very well down there. Yes. The question is, what does an orchestra member get? As a membership with us, they do not get. What was the second answer? If they weren't in the orchestra. If they weren't in the orchestra, I think the community, especially the support of a community. I mean, this is my job. They write me a page. I have to do it and come here and say these things. But I would show up anyway. How many of you can say that? Because I appreciate the support. Because I appreciate this community. Because it's been supportive of me. We've been supportive of each other. Yes, the music is important. And yes, it's nice that all of these really awesome musicians come together and do this. But yeah, it's the people that's the community. How many of the group, both sitting up here and sitting out there, were here in the very beginning? Right at the top. We love you all. And Carol, over here too as well. Hi, Carol. This is where I get the money. It's for my boss. We're going to get there. We're going to get there. But, do you want to talk about it? I don't have it here. Sure. I know Phoenix already brought up money. But I did want to point out, there's a sheet in your program that makes this very exciting and outstanding stuff that we recently received a $250,000 challenge grant. $50,000 a year for five years, which is amazing. Dolores Weaver is 86. She lives in Jacksonville, Florida. She's a full-time philanthropist, and this is a no-brainer for her. She's all about putting more beauty and just good things out to the world. And she has taken us on as one of her projects. But I want to be clear. This is not one of those things where it's like, yeah, she'll just give us the money anyway because she won't. She is to come. We have to raise the matching funds before she'll do anything. So, new and increased giving, that gets us to the finish line with Mrs. Weaver. Thank you, Phoenix. And thank you all. Thanks so much. Before we go on, I want to hear some of you who are here know this, but a long, long time ago, I was a teacher, so I have a great waiting time. But if not, we want to thank you guys so much for coming out. I will be addressing you again. This is awesome to see this room with people who are here for music and mental health advocacy. Some of you will be at the conference tomorrow at the NAMI Vermont Conference. You'll see me there. I'll be at my table, I'll have my projector. We'll also have Alex providing us some lovely music. It's going to be a great time. Thank you all so much. Phoenix, we're going to wrap things up here. This is kind of where we started with some dances from Eastern Europe. In the beginning of the program, it was the Hungarian dances as realized by Johannes Brahms. We're going to finish up and we're going to do the Slavonic dances of Antonin Dvorak. Dvorak was a few generations younger than Brahms. He was so taken with Brahms' Hungarian dances that he decided he needed to use for his own culture. Thus, we have his mother called Slavonic dances. We're going to play Dvorak in the mermaid. Again, thank you for coming out to share your evening with us. We hope you enjoyed this performance by me, too.