 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of that famous quick-cooking macaroni and cheese Kraft Dinner. Kraft Dinner cooks fluffy light in only seven minutes and every bite is delicious with cheddar cheese flavor. It's economical too. Get Kraft Dinner for money-saving main dishes. Remember the name Kraft Dinner, a Kraft quality product. It's early morning and everything is quiet in the Gilder Sleeve household. Up in his room, the great man lies peacefully on his couch, wrapped in silent sleep. Well, almost silent. Doris Dalrymple, isn't that cute? I feel good this morning. Wonder why. Yes sir, I feel wonderful. Where are my slippers? I wonder if the children are up. Why do I feel so good? hmm hm hm ... Leroy! Time to be up and doing. Okay. Time to be up and doing. Rocky please. Haven't I put that toothpaste cap? Well, there's a lot of them down there, not a shave. Let's see, mirrors all steamed up, better clean it off. Who's that? Is that me? Look terrible. What's that? Another gray hair. Lines under my eyes. I'm getting old, all right. All right. What a morning, Pee-Vee. Yes, Mr. Gunnyslave. Give me another Coke. Do you think you should, Mr. Gunnyslave? You had three already. I don't care. Give me another Coke. All right, but if you don't mind my saying so, I didn't know you were an early morning drinker. What if I am? Come on, Pee-Vee. Give me another Coke. Mr. Gunnyslave, did you ever see the lost weekend? Never mind that, Pee-Vee. You know, Pee-Vee, I'm in a rut. You are? I'm stuck in the mud. Oh, I'm trying to hear you. Funny the way we turn out, isn't it, Pee-Vee? Do you ever think you'd grow up to be a drugist? Well, not exactly. When I was a young man, I had other ideas. Huh? What was that? Well, you may smile, Mr. Gunnyslave, but there was a time when I sort of pictured myself as a sea captain. Huh? But, you know, every time I decided to run away, something always happened. One year, I had a slight cold, and the next year it was the hives, and then I met Mrs. Pee-Vee. So you gave it up, huh? Well, not right away. Of course, I knew then I'd have to make up my mind. It was either Mrs. Pee-Vee or a three-mastered schooner. They both had their good sides. One day, I took Mrs. Pee-Vee to an amusement park, and she wanted me to take her for a boat ride through the Tunnel of Love. Uh-huh. Well, it seems impossible, but that boat swayed so much, I became violently seasick. And the next day, Mrs. Pee-Vee and I got married. Hmm. Sometimes, I think Mrs. Pee-Vee rocked that boat a little. I think I'll have a coke myself. Gentlemen of the jury! No, hello, John. Oh, hello, Hooker. What's the matter with you, Gilles? Sitting there all hunched over. You look like a balloon with a slow leak. Mr. Gildersleeve is facing life today. Life? All these years, and what am I? Just a water commissioner. Trouble with you is you're lazy. Why don't you learn something about your job? Study, and maybe your chance will come. Abraham Lincoln said that. He used study nights by the light of a fire. Wrote with charcoal on a shovel. I haven't got a shovel. They're having a sale of shovels at the hardware store. Why, a job like yours can lead to all sorts of things. Of course, I don't know where you could get the charcoal. Gildy, many of our congressmen today were formerly officials in small towns, weren't they, Pee-Vee? Yes, and maybe some of them should have stayed there. Who wants to be in Congress anyway? I want you to go to special sessions all the time. I can see I'm wasting my time, Gildy. You're indolent, unambitious, and besides that, you're just plain lazy. L-A-Z-Y. I can spell, Judge. I doubt it. You old goat. Good day! Hooker, old nincompoop. That's what he is. Me go to Congress. Congressman Gildersleeve. See, that doesn't sound bad. For once, maybe the old goat is right, Pee-Vee. Yeah. If Abraham Lincoln can do it, I can do it. Well, I wouldn't care that. Well, it doesn't relax me. Me either. Study is important, young man, and now is the time to do it. Don't wait until you're middle-aged. I want it quiet in here. As a matter of fact, I intend to do a little studying myself. This isn't funny, Leroy. There's nothing wrong with me learning more about my job. Reading up on water systems and things like that. Jeez, the mayor giving you homework now? The mayor has nothing to do with this. Now, let's all settle down here. Get on with your homework, Leroy. Okay. You too, my dear. What do you think I've been trying to do? Oh, yes. Good. Used to have a book around here. Something about sanitation and water supply. I guess it's in this bookcase. Dusty in here. Let's see what we got here. Emerson's essays. Crossword puzzles for everybody. Ben Hurd. Must read that sometime. No, don't see it. Leroy, did you see that book? What book? The one I'm looking for on water supply. Marjorie? Uncle, please, I'm trying to study. Well, I've got to find that book. It's important. I thought you said it was going to be quiet in here. It is quiet. Can I turn the radio back on? There's a lot of cooperation I get around here. Birdie! Yes, Mr. Gilseed. You see that book? What book is that? The book I'm looking for, of course. I don't know anything about it, Mr. Gilseed. I was in the bookcase. Somebody took it out. Well, it wasn't me. I tell you one thing, Mr. Gilseed. I don't get much time to read books around here, not with all I got to do. All right, Birdie. I'd like to see anybody do all I do and then still have time to read books. Read books around here. Just try and prove it. Marjorie, Leroy, where are you going? It hurts. Well, all right, if you'd rather. Mr. Gilseed. This ain't the book you're looking for. Is it this big thick one? Well, yes. Hydraulics and water supply. That's it. Well, where'd you find it, Birdie? Out in the pantry. Pantry? What's it doing out there? Well, we've been using it for a doorstop. A doorstop? Sometimes I stand on it. What? I've got a top shelf. I ain't no Jack in the Bean store. Birdie, you don't stand on a valuable book like this. Didn't know it was valuable, Mr. Gilseed. I found it out in the ash pile two years ago. The ash pile? Now, who put it there? You did? Oh, thanks, Birdie. Thanks very much. That's okay, Mr. Gilseed. This is the book, all right. Looks a little cave-in in the middle. Guess Birdie's putting on a little weight like me. Well, maybe the judge was right. I'll study it. Maybe my chance will come. Let's see here. Hydraulics and water supply by F. A. Pittman. Chapter one. In contra-distinction to a gravitation supply for the general hydraulic gradient and... I wonder what that means. Maybe I'd better read this tomorrow. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll get a fresh start. Right after supper tomorrow night. Wonder what's on the radio. What's this? Hey, this is exciting. Wonder if they'll catch those wrestlers. While the great gilded sleeve is finding out which way they went, I'd like to tell you about a little chat I had with Birdie yesterday. I happened to drop into the gilded sleeve kitchen just a few minutes before dinner time. Birdie was just sitting there, so I said, Birdie, how come you're not busy getting dinner? Oh, Mr. Wall, this is my easy day. There ain't no rushing around for me nights that I serve Kraft dinner. Oh, you mean that delicious, quick-cooking macaroni and cheese? Yes, sir, that's right. That macaroni takes only seven minutes cooking time. Then I stir in the Kraft grated that comes in the package. And I got the fluffiest, lightest, tastiest macaroni and cheese antibody can make. I bet it takes more than one package of Kraft dinner to feed this family. Well, Mr. Wall, one package is supposed to serve a normal family, you know, four, but Mr. Gilded sleeve, he's a mighty heavy eater. I tell you what I do, I cream a little old leftover ham or chicken or seafood and serve it on the Kraft dinner. That way I keep him satisfied. And you get some satisfaction too, don't you, Birdie, with a food conservation program. I sure do. And it's mighty satisfied to have one easy day in this here kitchen. Besides that, it helps me catch up on the food budget. Oh, that's right, Birdie. Millions of women all over America have found that it's a good idea to have a supply of Kraft dinner on their pantry shelves. So ladies, get Kraft dinner from your food store tomorrow. Look for the yellow and blue package, plainly marked Kraft dinner. It's morning again and the great Gilded sleeve is climbing the stairs to his office. There's fire in his eyes and he's filled with a new determination to lift his pudgy figure up the ladder of success. Do a good job as water commissioner. Next step might be mayor. After mayor, next step might be congress. After congress, next step might be hmm, no more steps. Good morning, Bessie. Good morning, Mr. Gildeson. Bessie, we're going to have a meeting of the staff this morning. Staff? Who's that? It's you, Bessie. Pull up a chair and sit down. The meeting will come to order. Bessie, we're not doing our jobs. I don't mean just you, but me too. I think you're doing a fine job, Mr. Gilded sleeve. Just because you take a nap every afternoon. I don't mean that. We've got to work, Bessie. Study. By just last night, I was studying a book on hydraulics. Hydraulics? What's that? Hydraulics are... Well, I haven't got time to explain it now. We've got to be more efficient around here, Bessie. Reorganize the office. Not again? This time, I mean the entire office. Get things up to date. Clean out our files. We'll start right now. I'll pull the files to the middle of the room so we can get out. What's in these files? Heavy. Then we'll get all through, Bessie. We'll show the mayor what we've done. He'll be mighty proud of us. Don't just stand there, Bessie. You work here, too. Start cleaning out those drawers. What are these galoshes doing in the file? Those are mine. I always keep them in there. Well, keep them someplace else. Yes, sir. Ye gods, when was this file cleaned out last? I don't remember, Mr. Gale the slave. Why? This newspaper here. Look at that headline. Lindbergh reaches Paris. Bessie, we've got to clean out these files more often. I'll just take all this junk out and dump it right here. Can be bars. Cool love stories. Mr. Gale, we've got stuff all over the floor. There's no place to walk. We'll clean it up later. First things first. Bessie, I've made up my mind. I'm going to be the best water commissioner in the whole state. Who knows what that'll lead to? A raise? Something more than that. Bessie, some men have gone from jobs like mine to Congress. Congressman Gale the slave. How does that sound, Bessie? Congressman Gale the slave. That sounds wonderful. Oh, Congressman Gale the slave. Can I go down and get them all? Sure. Nothing's too good for one of my constituents. Go right ahead, Bessie. Thank you, Congressman. Congressman. I'll have to give that girl a raise someday. Room sure a mess. I'll finish it when Bessie gets back. Might as well sit down and rest a minute. Congressman Gale the slave. Silly. Don't know, though. Stranger things than that have happened. Congressman Gale the slave. Thank you. And so I stand before you in these hallowed halls of Congress, urging you, nay, pleading with you to pass this bill. Will Congressman Gale the slave? Thank you. And so I stand before you in these hallowed halls of Congress, urging you to pass this bill. Will Congressman Gale the slave yield? No. I repeat, sir, will the Congressman yield? No. I will not yield to any man. Thank you. Thank you. So I say, if you pass this bill, it will bring prosperity and happiness to the constituents of my town. Summerfield. The finest town in these United States. I resent that, sir. Nothing could be finer than my town in Carolina. It's just a filling, Buster. Thank you. To fellow Congressman, I'm not asking for much from my little town. Only $10 billion. A drop in the bucket. And remember, the money will go for that worthy project, a dam over the Summerfield Crick. To be known simply as the Gildersleeve Dam. Well, that's one of the finest speeches I ever heard. Me, too. He's our man, all right. Oh, Congressman Gildersleeve. You consider me in our party's nominee for president? President? Well, I hadn't thought about it. Please, Congressman, the party needs you. You're the only man who can stop the Eisenhower boom. Well, if you put it that way, and if I'm elected... Gildersleeve. I will yield to no man. Gildersleeve. What's it for? Mayor Tuwilliger. What are you doing here in Washington? Washington. Yes, I was daydreaming. You weren't dreaming, all right. Gildersleeve, what's going on here? This office looks like a cyclone hit it. Why don't you straighten things up around here once in a while? This is a fine way to run a water department. Where's your secretary? Bessie went down for a mort. Oh, she did. And why were you asleep at your desk? What this department needs is some efficiency. Reorganization. Gildersleeve, a child could do a better job than this. But if you can't do this job, I'll get somebody who can. Oh, and put these files back where they belong. Just when I was trying to... I'm bad. What? I'm bad with the mayor again. Imagine him saying a child could do my job. Hmm. Wonder what kid he would hire. That's ridiculous. Gildersleeve, you're a flop. Trying to be somebody. Who are you kidding? Can't even do your own job. Congressman. There's our house. Little Leroy at Marjory. They know their old uncle's a failure. They're just too nice to say so. Guess they'd be better off if I went away. And they wouldn't have to be ashamed of me. I'll probably end up being a vagabond. Hopping frates. Making just enough to live on. Picking apricots. Well, might as well go in, I guess. Where are the lights on? Where is everybody? Marjory. Leroy. They've left me. Where's the light? TV? What is all this? It's your birthday, Aunt. Happy birthday, Mr. Gildersleeve. Mrs. Dalrymple. Did you forget about your birthday? My birthday? Yes, I did. Isn't that cute? Somebody saw it. Gee, folks, I don't know how to... Were you surprised, Uncle? Yes, I was, Leroy. You all don't know what a nice surprise this is. Couldn't happen to a nice fellow, Commissioner. I second the motion. Isn't that a beautiful cake? Wonderful, Mrs. Dalrymple. Been working on this all day. Thank you, pretty. Nothing too good for you, Mr. Gildersleeve. May I have your attention, please? Quiet, quiet. Before we retire to the festive board, I have a few words I'd like to say. Ladies, gentlemen, and jolly boys, we are gathered here this evening to pay tribute to our dear friend, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. Thank you, folks. Thank you. And why do we pay tribute to Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve? Because he is a man of great fame? No. Because he's a man of great wealth? No. We honor him because he's a true friend, loved by us and by his little niece and nephew. That is the true mark of a successful man. Well, thank you, Judge. Not at all, Gildersleeve. Hey, when do we eat? Oh, excuse me. There's somebody at the door. Oh, wonderful. Good evening, Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh, Mayor Tewilger. Good evening. Won't you come in? Sorry, I won't have time. Gildersleeve, I'm sorry I was so harsh this afternoon. Betsy told me you were trying to reorganize the office. Oh, that's all right. And I have a little gift for you. A birthday present here. For me? Not at all. Happy birthday, Mr. Gildersleeve. And good night. Good night. That was nice of him. Wonder what the present is. Oh, a book. Let's see what it is. Oh, hydraulics and water supply. Ladies and gentlemen, instead of their usual commercial message, the folks at Kraft want you to hear something very important that's going on in the Gildersleeve kitchen. Oh, you still up, Bertie? Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Just thought I might have a little snack before I go to bed. See what's in the refrigerator. Bertie, that's a sign you got pasted up in here. Well, the government wants us to save food. Not put that up so we wouldn't forget. Huh? Let's see what it says. No meat on Tuesdays. No poultry or eggs on Thursdays. Save a slice of bread a day. Waste nothing. Well, that's a fine idea, Bertie. Say, didn't see that. Slice of beef might make a little sandwich. Mr. Gildersleeve, there's another sign in there you didn't read. Huh? Oh, yes, right here. P.S. No more midnight snacks for Mr. Gildersleeve till the emergency's over. Signed Bertie and the U.S. government. Well, you're right, Bertie. If all of us will conserve on food just a little, that means that no one will have to go hungry. Anywhere. Let's all do our part, folks. Good night. The Great Gildersleeve is played by Harold Perry. It was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Richard Legrand. This is John Wald saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve. That's right. Good night. During these days of food-saving, be sure to do everything you can to turn leftover foods into family favorites. A good way to add zest and flavor to these dishes is to use delicious Kraft-prepared mustards. There are two kinds, you know. For those who like mustard that's mild and delicately spiced, there's tangy, golden Kraft salad mustard. For those who enjoy sharper taste, there's Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Better keep both kinds on your shelf. Kraft mustards are creamy, smooth, easy-spreading, and perfectly blended. Ask for Kraft mustard with horseradish added and Kraft salad mustard. Get them flavor-fresh at your dealer tomorrow. This is NBC, The National Broadcasting Company.