 I don't remember, whoa, I don't know, SCP-044-D-E-J or something like this. For me, don't care the wet and loud bark. Object class safe. Nah, this stuff's never safe. Euclid. Never enough. Keter. Nay. These headaches are never, ever, Keter. Apolyon. Yeah. Yes, that's how my skull is rumbling. Special containment procedures. For God's sake, never allow Dr. Heinrich to drink from this distillery. And don't touch this stuff. And especially do not drink it. Don't even think about drinking that or to even touch it. Don't even taste or sip for a bit. This stuff is most surely indestructible. As attentive as this stuff is, it will easily burn a hole inside the Earth's atmosphere. If it only comes near any fire and it's flushed down the toilet by dumping it through the sewage system, it could probably eradicate half of the ecosystem. It is best to keep it in Dr. Heinrich's alcohol closet as far away from any life forms as possible. There is no access to anybody. It's for our own good. And do not even think about using this stuff as a detergent. This stuff easily etches a hole all the way down to the underground village of the Mole Men. In case of a booze party, I mean a containment breach, the site housing it is to be equipped with a stock of 20 tons of headache pills, 10 tons of gastrointestinal tea, 20 thousand liters of coffee, 300 glasses of rolled meatballs, and several bottles of SCP-014-DEJ. And please dim the light of the entire site. And only whisper when making announcements through the speakers, okay? Description Blah, I really can't take it anymore. SCP-044-DEJ consists of Satan's colored thinner, I mean a snops that has been produced inside Dr. Heinrich's own distillery hall, brewing chamber, reconstructed garage. Is this even legal? And hygienic? If not, it should be banned immediately. Each stage is a recipe that has existed in its family for generations, and is passed on, which is doubted as this stuff can surely annihilate a whole family generation. According to his testimony, the taste constitutes a mixture of apple featuring the silven flavor of juniper and a slight acrid taste of wild blackthorn with a touch of mint and citrus at the end. Think the guy is anomalous that he's really been getting this stuff down unscathed for years. But if you tip that stuff, you notice nothing but a burning sensation in the throat, like an inhaled fart of SCP-006-DE. It was impossible to be scientifically researched, as after the wild party, no one was able to remember it, as it causes an insane blackout featuring cognitive amnestic properties. There are recordings, but they are extremely embarrassing and are to be deleted immediately. No recordings of such an event exist. The 04 decided that all requests involving supposed recordings pose an immediate reason for termination. Today following consumption, one has a hangover that fills it up SCP-190-DE-1 jumped mowny or burst inside your face. You will feel extreme signs of an alcohol intoxication, as well as skull bursting headaches, high sensitivity to high all kinds of light, and loud all sorts of sounds. A continuing felt need of puking all former, present, and future meals will now untill infinity. Strong vomiting, gastrointestinal pains, and thingy, what was his name? Lack of concentration, as well as the difficulty in finding the right words. Discovery. I really wish it wouldn't have been discovered in the first place. On the occasion of Mr. Heinrich's 50th birthday, he produced several tiny bottles of the pipe cleaner from hell, SCP-044-DE-J, and had sent these to multiple sites. They were distributed to staff. At least to all the poor piggies who are able to drink alcohol, pregnant, for example, have come away empty-handed, the lucky ones. The next day, a majority of staff could barely recall what happened. All of them showed signs of high alcohol intoxication, and several alarms were caused by containment breaches occurring in multiple sites. Fortunately, all sentient anomalies were way too groggily after consuming that stuffed even attempt-scramming. The effects of SCP-044-DEJ prevented an escape of the anomalies. Due to this, a reclassification of thomules currently pending approval. No. No, no, no, NOOOOOOO!!! Experiment log, um, event log? Some log. Close that back up! Some scientists thought it would be funny to treat some anomalies to a few glasses of SCP-044-DEJ, as drunkards are always a laughing matter. During the celebrations, due to observational purposes, several probes of SCP-044-DEJ were handed out to SCPs, with the results being documented. It is theorized that the Great Bazoo threw a really big party, as he was found inside his cell together with a out-of-place lampshade on his head, multiple penis drawings on his face, an inflatable rubber pig under his right arm, the Masked Singer trophy under his left arm. We have no clue from where he got it, but we sure hope that he will return it someday. In an oversized, pink, crumpled lady's panties in his crotch awake the next day. Following his awakening, he gushily regurgitated his so damn huge amounts of paper streamers, confetti and sweets that scientists assumed SCP-275-DE would be required to get the site clean again. SCP-275-DE. Forget what I just said. In a wild vacuum cleaner, the object is currently caught inside a circle, in which it bombets confetti, which it re-inhales just to vomit it once more to re-inhale its vomit-it-uh-uh. SCP-148-DE. Following the event, SCP-148-DE was located inside an empty plastic cup, with it having acquired a blue-green tint. Later then, it slowly and trembling crawled out of the cup before it bombeted its own mass. From rich a really sweet blue slime baby, a small duplicate of the latter was formed. Wow, so that's how they're created. The proposal of calling it Baby Blue was denied. SCP-171-DE. SCP-171-DE was discovered in a cell, where it repeatedly vomited its organs, with it pushing the latter back into its abdomen, but just to vomit him back out. Statement by SCP-171-DE. I don't have enough livers and kidneys for such a ████ damn. Why do I also still have so many ██████ bladders? Every single one is ██████ ██, F**K. Every one of my brains is killing me, ay. SCP-046-DE The Fleshy Wire Girl SCP-046-DE did not leave its place of containment. Instead of attacking everything that makes any noises, like it usually does, it holds its meat strands against the head and emits pain-filled whiny sounds. Instead not going after the source of noise, I believe it prefers the state of stillness. Understandable SCP-011-DE No guys, not this day. My savings booming. How did you even manage to insert that stuff into the computer? Just click on no, okay? SCP-031-DE The last lucky victim, affected subject, described SCP-031-DE as an unbarnished, unkept woman with a hungover face, dressed in a kitten pajama, with it holding a big mug of chamomile tea on her right and a warming bottle on her right hand, which she held against her abdomen. She asked him to get over it fast so she can swiftly go back to sleep. The vision of SCP-031-DE described the affected subject as a lifespan of 75 years, in which she either slept and snored like 1,000 sawmills, whined about head and stomach ache, or spent several hours on the toilet and emitting, quote-unquote, sounds from hell. This presents the first known case wherein the affected subject never had a feeling of being betrayed, unless the toilet is paid inclusively. SCP-272-DE I'm surely no biologist, but is it healthy if a shark swims with an abdomen up? SCP-262-DE It was possible to find out that the effect of SCP-044-DEJ was so severe, SCP-262-DE is still affected, even when it is already shifted between several animal bodies. Remark It was not cool to give SCP-044-DEJ to SCP-262-DE for the sole purpose of, and I quote, imitating this scene from animals or beautiful people, where all animals are so laughably drunk on those fermenting fruits. I at the Ethics Committee, and especially the Zoological Wings cleaning team, have a few bones to pick with you. O4-██ SCP-116-DE SCP-116-DE was not located at its containment site the morning after the incident. After tracing its GPS sensor, it was found on a nearby military training area sitting between an R-Emergency vehicle and a Leopard 2 tank, with that having a cigarette on its cooler. We are not eager to know how. It was not possible to ascertain what happened, but judging from SCP-116-DE's reaction, it had not been a pleasant situation for it either. SCP-258-DE Daring to binge drinking, the festivities, the series of experiments, a shy, blonde, neatly dressed woman appeared in the office of Site-DE, wearing a black business blazer, and showing great similarities to SCP-258-DE. She introduced herself with Elizabeth, and handed out an application portfolio to present staff, with the intention of applying herself with the Foundation. Dr. Heinrich, who was way too drunk, who was unable to recognize SCP-258-DE, served the sweet blondie with tight ass a small glass of SCP-044-DEJ. What she initially rejected, due to it not drinking alcohol, but exed, consumed it in one sip, following further prompting an attempted persuasion by Dr. Heinrich. She silently stood around for some seconds before saying, fuck it, I'm going to get myself a porn magazine, burn the application documents via a lighter, and disappear through a portal from the site. Oh, right, this moment that explains everything. Anyways, shit happens. SCP-133-DE Following a consumption of SCP-044-DEJ, SCP-133-DE went with SCP-255-DE, also affected to its containment chamber, where it remained unobserved for several minutes. Subsequently, loud moaning, screams, and other unidentifiable sounds were emitted coming from the chamber's door. M-T-F-D-E-7-E-7-L-FREED Retarders, the last remaining task force of the site was called to the containment chamber shortly thereafter, in order to prevent even worse things from happening. As they entered the chamber, though, the team discovered Rat and the Beast, the two anomalies playing mouse tear-off. The sounds from SCP-133-DE, who proved to be the crappy loser, and both were unable to reach an agreement on whether Ratatouille actually contained rat-resisting statements. Present staff was unsure whether they should be relieved or disappointed about the situation. You know what, I'm not getting paid enough for this, fuck me, folks, I'll be going home now. I need a damn coffee.