 Item number SCP-009-J Object Class, fun for ages two and up Special Containment Procedures This book belongs to Alphia Jacobs, a Foundation First Readers book, copyright 2013 Dr. Wonder Entertainment Press. SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pill bug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stairs? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a faraway place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall on the oblique and dated expunge? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right. SCP-009-J is you.