 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, did he pull away or does he just need a little bit of space, little space? What does space look like? I'm trying to figure out the hand, what the thumbnail will look like for space. Really quickly, if after this video the content resonates with you and you'd like some additional support, check out the link to my VIP group called Midlife Love Mastery. Just click the link itself, explanatory. It's a great way to have direct access to me on a regular basis. Okay, did he pull away? Did he pull away? Or does he just need a little bit of space? I think this is a great question. Now, I know many of you have been encouraged that when a man pulls away, you lean back to give him space, right? That's what you've been taught by a lot of people and to focus on your own sovereignty. To focus on your own sovereignty, which I love and agree with that. Okay, I love and agree with that because just like I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? When you're in relationship with another human being, I want you to know this. When you love yourself, you don't need someone to love you for you to feel good about yourself. Now, let me repeat that. You don't need someone to love you for you to feel good about yourself. Does that resonate? If it does, please post a comment. I want to hear about it because so many of you ladies give your power away to another human being. You're giving your power away to a guy. And so the minute he pulls away, all of a sudden there's all this anxiety going on and I better pull away to allow him to come to me because I need to allow him to come to me. And you know, this is what I think of that. Because here's the bottom line about is he pulling away for good or does he just need space? All right, so how do you know he might be pulling away for good? All right, there's a number of signs and the most predominant sign is this. His life is in chaos. His life is in chaos. He might be going through a divorce. He might be going through a contentious divorce. He might be divorced in dealing with a contentious ex. There's chaos going on in his life. His work life, there might be issues going on at work. There might be struggles going on at work. There might be personality issues going on with work. His life's in chaos. He might have issues with children. He might have health issues. The ground underneath him doesn't feel good. And like any human being, he wants companionship. He wants connection. He wants sex. Let me reframe that. And I said any human being, male or female, we want companionship. We want connection and we want sex. Okay? So we'll go out and pursue relationships. Oftentimes, especially if our life is in chaos to fill that void, to fill that hole that's inside of us. And that happens with so many people. And oftentimes it's due to unresolved childhood wounds and traumas that he or she hasn't directly faced. And if you're not familiar with the book, the Hoffman process, check this out. This is a thick book. I mean, it's not an overly thick book, but this book is a great way to understand our negative patterns in limiting beliefs in life because oftentimes when someone's pulling away in relationship, they're not only is the ground underneath them not solid, but they're emotional. Their emotional ground is not solid. Okay? Because chaos can be happening, but when your emotional ground is solid, you can navigate the chaos. You can navigate the uncertainty. Now, if it's a lot of chaos and uncertainty, it's going to be hard for any man to fully commit to a relationship. And ladies, you can waste years and years and years hoping that he will change. But I'm here to tell you that you have to look at his life in comparison to your life and say, does it feel balanced? Does our life chaos feel imbalanced? Because we all are experiencing some level of chaos in our lives. But how do you know that men need to recharge their batteries? You know, it's interesting. I picked up a new book and I'm always introducing the books. By the way, check out the link to Jonathan recommends books. It's in the description below. But this book is called Living Together Apart. Living Together Apart. And this is actually a tiny little book. It's an easy read. This is great for those people that aren't going to live together, but they want to share commitment with one another and they need support in helping out how to figure out how to be in a relationship if we don't live together. And this represents the vast majority of the population. Again, the book is called Living Together Apart. But there's a chapter here called Time Alone. Time Alone. You know, we all need time to recharge our batteries and to, you know, in relationship, if two people are married, they call it the man cave. And so men are going to need space just like you're going to need space. And when someone needs space, it's just they need time to recharge their batteries. You don't need to give him space to allow him to come back to you because you're leaning back. By the way, leaning back might cause him to lean back even further. So be careful of the lean back method. Listen, we all need space. You need space. Men need space. We need to take space to recharge our batteries, to work on ourselves, to work on our self-love, right? So if a man's life isn't in total chaos, he doesn't want to have to feel the pressure of the relationship 24-7. You might be expecting this and his capacity here. And oftentimes that difference is called drama. That's why men need to take space away from that. But my invitation is come to his level of where the relationship is at. Come to his level and ask yourself, does that fit for what you want in relationship? Because maybe that space might be spaced from you because your expectation level is here and his capacity is here. And it's not pulling away because of chaos. It's because he wants to recharge his batteries and really evaluate the relationship if it makes sense to continue forward. Or he just needs to recharge his batteries because we all need once a week of time to ourselves or a couple times a week of time to ourselves. Now I know some of you are in a relationship where you don't live together. I get it. But understanding that constantly checking in can create a lot of expectation as well. So just lean in, ask yourself, is his life in chaos and chances are if he pulls away it might be for good. If his life's in a good space and there isn't a lot of drama coming from you, all men need a little bit of space just like you need a little space. Does this resonate? Is this sinking in? Please let me know. Please post a comment below. Ask a question. I do my best to read all of them. But I'd like to hear your thoughts on this one. All right, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic job to bear hug of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now.