 What are some ways to connect with your Chinese heritage when you feel very, very distant from it? Yeah, it's quite simple. You just study for six to seven years to become fluent in the Chinese language and delay your dopamine and oxytocin release. No, I'll never be Chinese then. We're going to talk about this thread. It's titled, I'm half Chinese and I want to feel more connected to my culture. But I think there's a lot of good takeaways for people who are even full or zero percent. It's from Cherry Toe 39. Andrew, she says her dad is Chinese American. He's ABC. He's second gen. Her mom is half black and half white. So she's a quarter black, a quarter white. She said she ended up looking Filipino. Everybody thinks she's Filipino. She is in college right now. So she's still quite young. She went to her South Asian Indian boyfriend's Hindu Diwali celebration and started just saying, man, it was super fun and it made me longing and envious and a melancholic way to feel connected to my culture like that. And I just don't know if I'm going to get accepted in the East Asian looking community. Does anybody have any suggestions or what to do to implement part of my culture into my life? All right, everybody, we're going to try to help her and help everybody out there. Obviously, we're two people who have created a lot of, I guess you would say Asian or Chinese or Chinese American content over the years. So let's see if we can help. Please hit that like button and check out other episodes of the hot pot boys. But real quick, a way to connect back. Well, check out Smala Sauce. It is a Chinese and Italian inspired chili oil. Check it out. Smala Sauce doc. Hey, man, from Sichuan to Sicily, I think it could help. I mean, honestly, I guess what is she really asking here? I think that in a way humans are just always looking for identity, right? Like this is a, like there's so many scientific studies on it. Humans are like tribal animals and they're looking for a tribe, but not everybody necessarily makes it their ethnicity. But it's one of the easiest things to do, because that's the way the world treats you. That's what you feel about yourself, right? Right, right. And I think her having the desire is already part of it. That's a big step, because I mean, some people could easily be like, well, I'm half Chinese, I'm mixed heritage, but it doesn't really matter. And my dad doesn't really care about the culture. She can lean into the white culture or the black culture because she's a quarter white and quarter black. Or she can just be in this general mainstream mixed culture, which is fine too. There's nothing wrong with that. But 2023. But the fact that she does want to lean into the Chinese culture and experience it, that's good. That means there's a desire there and there's something to work with. To me, I would say whether or however difficult you try to define being Chinese is because I think there's an argument to say that figuring out what it means to be Chinese is more difficult than another Asian perhaps that's arguable. I would honestly, I'm not going to mince words. It's for sure more complicated. I think outside of having a general Middle Eastern identity and that's a whole different beast on its own, I think being Chinese is the most complex singular group. Okay. Because I think that India is also really large, Andrew, but it's also very demarked. I guess like what tribe of India and you are and how you're supposed to be, if you're that tribe, I think being Chinese is very, it could be very murky. It's kind of open-ended and specific at the same time. But anyways, what I'm going to say is that there's different tiers of leaning into your culture. Now, I understand that she may not be because her grandparents have passed on or her dad, whose Chinese is not really into being Chinese. So yeah, like, you know, grown up, I didn't really think it was fun. It didn't really make me like have an American type of Western childhood. She said she wore shoes inside the house. Whoa. But anyways, there's different tiers. I think top tier to the bottom tier to the easiest tier of like just watching memes in YouTube and sharing memes with your friends about being Chinese and all the Asian memes. But what if she doesn't even have enough information or knowledge base to enjoy the memes because there are like a ton of meme accounts on Instagram nowadays. And it's interesting when people don't follow them, you guys got to follow them, I'll pop some of them up here. But like, you're saying that she should just subscribe anyway. Well, I think just watching general Asian American content to a lot of Asian American content, it does stem from some Chinese culture as well, right? And then also second tier is just like, then you take a language course and you put yourself around Chinese people, you try to order at the restaurant and stuff like that. And then the third tier is obviously, you know, you actually travel back to China. But I'm saying for her, it's she's probably got to start more at the beginning of just getting into Chinese content and being in Chinese spaces and being at Chinese New Year events and stuff like that. I think that I would, if I was her, I would just shortcut it. I would learn to say three things in Cantonese or Mandarin, go to my nearest, you know, basically Chinese restaurant, speak it to the waiter, be super insistent. Even if they come at you in English, English, English, you make sure you only want to order Hap To Ha in Canton. And once you get that confirmation or the waiter's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Hap To Ha, oh, wow, wow, wow, Chinese so good. That's going to be positive reinforcement. It's going to be like dopamine up, serotonin up. I have an identity. Yes. Use the waiters as Chinese class. Yeah, what do you want to order? I want, can I get the Sing Chow Chow my fun? Oh, wow, you speak Chinese. Okay, good. Right, right, right. It's going to be a great ping at that point. I just think that, you know, that that's the best way I could say it, because a lot of people, I think when they're asking this question, they want it, but they don't, they just want to go to a Diwali-like festival. And here's the truth. Chinese, it ain't like Indian culture, Daisy culture, releases more oxytocin in a physical methodology than Chinese. Yes, yes, they dance. If you're thinking about like a Chinese dance club, those are hard to find. Well, it's going to be like ballroom dancing. Right, right, right. But there is a lot of Indian dances. So I think when she's comparing it to India, I think that it's tough because already we have to be like, okay, you got to compare it to other East Asian cultures. Right. She probably got the henna tattoos on her hand and she did all this and put the paint for the face paint. I was like, yeah, it is. You gotta go find it. It looks fun. You not going to find it. So, but that's, it ain't, so just be born. It's not as colorful as Diwali in like South Asia. That's because you guys just don't know about the ancient, where in China are you throwing paint on each other? Yeah, because I think that people are like, Oh, yeah, but we have a, you can go to Shenyun or something like that. Obviously, you know, whatever that is. But it's like, it's like, when you participate in a Diwali festival or a Indian wedding, it's more like you are part of Shenyun, like one of the acrobats. Like you're not like just spectating. Anyway, let's get in the comment section. Somebody said, somebody recommended that I immediately watch Joy Watch, Quiz Lady and Past Lives. And someone said, yes, Past Lives is Korean American, but it's still very relevant to the Asian American experience. Joy Ride was also about a Korean girl, but I guess she was playing Chinese in the movie. Right? Do you think that this is more at the level of what she really realistically should watch? No, this is like, this is like the super basal of I think you can consume Chinese or Asian American content, such as some of our videos, things Asian parents. No, our stuff is more cultural than even everything everywhere all at once, right? Yeah. I mean, either way, just consuming material that is written by Chinese Americans or Chinese people, whether you watch Disney's ABC series, American born Chinese, or you watch all these, you can find something that relates to you. The thing about being Chinese is that although maybe Chinese culture is kind of hard to sum up, there is a lot of Chinese people and a lot of Chinese culture. So you can't miss it. There is no excuse in saying, well, I can't find any. I can't meet any Chinese people. That's not the struggle. Right? It's just not hyper organized with an easy pop cultural in though. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's not like set up that way. It's like, because some people are going to be like, oh yeah, Chinese culture is the ancient society or the poems that were written in a pagoda in Hangzhou. I think for her, if they're American and already only half Chinese, they just got to think about what other Chinese Americans do at this point. Watch Joy Rock. It's not about becoming a Chinese person from China. Okay. Listen, I get it. The international kids or the fobs and the immigrants. You're saying that she's not going to become Zhu Ge Liang. No, you don't like, don't just listen to your Chinese American friends that you know. Somebody said a more deep cut one. And by the way, she's a female. So it's not like, oh yeah, you'll need to watch Warrior and all these like, you know, the kung fu, Jackie Chan stuff. It could be a little bit, you know, too. That's for guys. Somebody said, check out three body problem on YouTube. Netflix is remaking it. And that was actually a gray market book from China. Three body problems. Yeah, I think maybe. Yeah, I mean, there's like a lot of lists of movies that you could just watch in a lot of just pop up some of them. Like, I mean, I feel like is that's like a starter pack or that's like a starter kit. Right. And you're saying if you just enjoy some of those or you listen, you just, I always say, just celebrate Chinese New Year while listening to the higher brother song kung xin nian with it like kung xin nian, kung xin nian fa za. I was like, why not? That's just something that's from the American culture. But I think you're going to listen to Chinese rap and if you like Chinese rap, then that's a still start. Anything is a start at this point. Somebody said, begin learning Chinese, read about Chinese history and culture from non-biased but non-biased or non-western sources, move to China, at least start visiting, start consuming Chinese media, learn to cook Chinese food, learn about where your Chinese parent come from in China, probably Guangdong. Somebody said, pay attention to deep culture, not just surface culture. Look for Chinese boyfriend of all these other things fall apart. All right. First of all, this would work, but this is not wrong, but this is like way just like this is too much. Like it's not applicable advice. I guarantee you the guy who wrote this is born in China. I just feel like that's like a person from Asia that wrote that. Somebody said, what about getting Chinese friends? And my whole thing about this is like, not all Chinese Americans that are actually full-blooded Chinese actually, not all of them even know anything outside of what they were born into. Yeah, that's why I think the easiest thing you do is look up memes and share them with the Chinese people that you know and see what they say because then you're going to know how much that person is into it. Sometimes when you're just passively friends with people, you don't actually know how deep in their culture they are. And then you get them talking and then you're like, whoa, you know all this about Chinese culture and Chinese history and you thought about it this much. And they're like, yeah, you know, I do this on the side, blah, blah, blah, but you know, in our friend group, I don't really talk about it because it doesn't seem like anybody else wants to talk about it. Are you referring to possibly some of the provincial stereotype memes? No, I mean, it doesn't even have to be that deep cut. I just think of just you're saying even like the fashion walks and American creators are content. Canto Mando or like, okay, you're not even talking about the China China. No, no, no, no, I'm not even talking about the Chinese material. I mean, I think that is a step above, you know, to appreciate Chinese art and products from China. But that's like, that's actually I think beyond where this person needs to start. Yeah, right, right, right. She needs to even identify who is the right person. Yeah, even identify who of your friends is even into being Asian. Yeah. Somebody said, why don't you spark up a discussion with your dad? Maybe if he doesn't like Chinese culture, because he felt like it led to his childhood being unjoyful or not fun or isolated. He at least liked Chinese food, right? Do you think that's true? Like even if the because it's true, a lot of people got issues with stereotypical Chinese upbringings, but even Americanized Chinese food is fire. All right, first step, first step, if you're watching this first OP with Strawberry Toad, whatever the name Cherry Toad, Cherry Toad, tell your dad to go to a Chinese restaurant, like take the family out to a Chinese restaurant and authentic one Google Yelp it, right? What's the most authentic Chinese restaurant within my city? You guys go there, go to the Chinatown if there's a Chinatown nearby. Just go and experience that together as a family, and then you can talk to your dad about it there and bring it up. I think that's an easy place to do it. Or just see how your dad reacts. I mean, just enjoying food together as a family is literally the first step. Right. This guy said, I think it's really important to even know just what part of China your family's from. It's really big and really, really diverse country and someone from Sichuan is going to speak a different language and eat completely different from somebody from Guangdong to the point where it can feel like they almost have nothing in common culturally. So having a combo with your dad about family history is key because he's the only one who will know those details about your heritage and then maybe instead of trying to learn the entire China history, which actually I have gone on a journey to do. And I'll tell you this, it does take years of work, but you just learn like that city or that province or that immigration wave that your family stems from. I think that's not a bad place to start because it gives you a focus and a starting point. But I wouldn't say that nowadays you think all Chinese people don't have a thread in common. I mean, obviously with man, I think I think nowadays China in a way, it's almost like more shared culture than they ever have. Right. But I would say a lot of grandparents in China may struggle to relate to each other. Yes. Yes. I think finding out specifically where your Chinese roots are from gives you a sense of identity. At least you know, like, oh, I'm not just vaguely Chinese. I will tell you this. If you identify as vaguely Chinese, it's a little bit difficult. But don't you think, and this is a whole different way to feel some sense of humanistic identity. She could just identify as Pan-Asian because I feel like even a lot of full Chinese Americans only identify as Pan-Asian. No, because it's easier to because there's such a Chinese diaspora to be honest. Don't get offended guys. But just like it's probably the one country in Asia that is in every other country. Well, the type of people. Yes. Or the cultural, ancient cultural influence, the Sinosphere, whatever. I would say before you even become Pan-Asian though, and you reach that level, I feel like you still need to know where you're from. I think so. Because that gives you an identity. But from that, like, right, when she knows that her parents, her grandparents are from Guangzhou or like Taishan or Shanghai to Zhang, whatever, right? Then she knows, okay, my parent, my grandparents are that. But I identify with other all types of Asian. Right, right, right. It's almost like I identify as the Bellagio Pan global buffet. But I know what part that I brought to the Bellagio. It is in the Bellagio. It is in the Bellagio, even though it serves all this person said something really interesting. Yeah. Well, the thing is, you can pick Asian American culture, but Asian American have no culture. For example, Latins have salsa music, dance. K-pop is just some version of American pop music. A true Chinese culture is like guzheng, erhu, guqin. So basically, yeah, that is like what you will have to learn to be the true Chinese. What do you think of this ancient argument? This is a Chinese-ass argument. They have a point. They have a point that Asian American culture is still forming, right? Some people think it's just bobas and being like wholesome. Maybe Asian Americans don't particularly have a style of dance that they do. That's fine, but they have food. Asian American food is legit. I think that's a legit thing that is like recognizable now, but you're talking about the fusion or the boba, even like, you know, to be honest, the way we drink boba, it is like, even though it comes from Taiwan, it's like kind of like the way we do it in America is a little different. You don't think that like Jabba Wacky's is Asian American culture or like Cabba Modern and all this like- No, I think that's part of it, but that's not like, because what is Latin American culture? What do you mean? Of course, Latinos in Latin America have their culture, but what is Latino American culture? That's why any dash American people have to take from the motherland. You're talking about hyphenated second-gen, right? Hyphenated second-generation immigrants still have to take a lot of notes and culture from the motherland. That makes sense though. But I would say that Asian Americans, they mostly take food, but not as much the styles of dress or dance. Yeah, I don't know what Asian American like clothing necessarily looks like. Yeah, it's more just like American clothing made by Asians or with Asian imagery on it. Somebody was just saying like, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Maybe just join the CSA at school because she's at college. Do all the other things too. I mean, I think joining CSA is just helpful in putting yourself around Chinese people. It's not a Chinese class though. So like they're not going to be talking about, but there is going to be people in CSA that do know more about Chinese culture. So that's a good way to meet friends who are interested in Chinese culture. I think taking a language class... But even in a CSA, it's pretty variable, right? Some people are like, hey guys, can we study like Qin Shi Huang and how he like united the kingdoms? And then other people are just like, Boba Naid, like dumpling making. Yeah, which is not wrong either way. It's just like different. But I think that's fine. I think that ultimately just being in a space where other people are interested in Chinese culture is important. So whether that's taking a language class or joining CSA, I think that's super legit. Somebody just said, be comfortable in your own skin and the sum of all the cultural influences that made you who you are. But obviously if you're missing some of those cultural influences, go and seek them out. Go and seek out food. You know, just know that food can be remixed just like you can be remixed. You know how like people have like westernized certain dishes, even the neurodrembing is a westernized version of a literally a like green onion wrap without the beef. I don't agree that just because your family didn't raise you with a lot of Chinese culture that you can't lean back into it and become more Chinese as you get older. I think that that's it's still possible. It requires some work, but it's not like saying because what if someone grew up in a culture that they didn't like, they'd never wanted to be that then what you're telling somebody that they're stuck with that that they have to be that no matter what. Right. You can download Xiaohong Xu too and like really take a look at what's happening in modern China. Like I said, I do not think that like it's not going to be like being in my opinion, Daisy people oftentimes it's an ethno religious group because it's heavily tied with a religion. I think that Korean and Japanese people, they are those countries in those histories are way more homogenous. You know, and so it's easier to understand. I think China is like super layered. It's been conquered by foreign powers multiple times like Mongolians, Manchurians even internally within Han people. It's like very unclear what the movement pattern was and stuff like that. So I think that even full Chinese Americans struggle with this question. Right. Yeah, all the time. I think identity is difficult and it just requires when you're from a more complex, heavily layered identity, right? It just requires a lot of conversations too. Yeah. I mean, anyway, guys, I think at the end of the day, there's no real right or wrong answer. I agreed with everybody who wrote different things. I think everything would work. But at the end of the day, and for cherry toad, it's depending on what she's going to execute on, right? And how those projects that she executes on ultimately digest or marinate within herself. Dude, I mean, there's just a lot of opportunity out there and don't be overwhelmed by it. Just start small, start consuming the media, meet some Chinese people, have some initial conversations. There's a lot of content out there. Luckily, that Chinese is the largest country in the world, one of the oldest, longest standing civilizations in the world, tons of content, tons of restaurants. The opportunity's there. Yeah, it's just, I will say this. I will admittedly, because China's modern culture is lagging, I would say arguably two decades behind South Korea's and maybe like four decades or three decades behind Japan's. It does make it more difficult because there's not that immediate like, you know what I'm saying, like hyper appealing into it. Yeah, I mean, I think that there is no like, it's tough to find like just a Chinese party that you're going to love. Oh, what about just doing Wushu or doing Wing Chun with your friends? It's like, nah, it's not. Yeah, if you're into that, just what's Zhang Zhili or Song Yadong or for a Diwali type event, but just Chinese. Just keep it moving because there's that does not exist. Go to a higher brother's concert or when they come to the Chinese rappers are starting to do concerts in the US. That's true. Yeah, anyway, guys, let us know what you guys think in the comment section below. No real right or wrong answers on this one. To be honest, I think it just like ultimately a lot of these things are applicable to anybody though. I think an outside person trying to learn a half person trying to find their identity or even a full person who didn't really do a lot of additional research beyond the life they were born into. So anyway, guys, let us know what you think of the comment section below. Until next time, we're the hop hop boys. Check out Smilesauce and Smilesauce.com. Until next time, we out. Peace. Peace.