 Good morning. Hello, everybody. He here. Hello Viking. Hello, Jordan As you guys can see by the title of the video Ain't shit getting written today. Um, I am exhausted. I'm stressed out. Can't concentrate. Hello, Ty So what I'm going to do is I'm gonna continue this story Offline any chance I get and I will have it done by Sunday if nothing else the rough draft will be done Sunday Yesterday Power went out. Apologize for not being here. Um, we waited. We waited. We waited till about 10 30 I saw on the dash app dasher app That it was busy. So we decided to go out. Hello, Tane and Then we dashed from then all the way up and I had to stop at six to take Dan to work And then we kept going until nine o'clock that night So we were out for 11 hours yesterday Got home had a edible and went to sleep woke up Because I didn't get to sleep till like two o'clock in the morning woke up this morning still a little fuzzy But yesterday the day before we'd gone grocery shopping And then the power went out the next morning, of course now we live out in a rural area Power goes out all the time for whatever reason whether it's cold windy rain rainy Storming thunderstorms anything any big change in the weather the grid fails for whatever reason We don't even have an electric company really we have a we have a co-op Which is basically funded by all of the you know All of the people who live in this area because we live in such a rural area anyways So I was stressed out about that because we're already tied on money and the groceries We had just got but luckily it came on while we were out dashing nothing spoiled. So we're fine But on top of that We keep running into the same issue where we make a considerable amount of money on door dash But then the gas hits or a new bill or something else happens. So we keep having to add days We added yesterday today. We have to go out Dan has to be a work at 1 We're gonna run from 1 o'clock until they get off at 7 And then I'm coming home, and I'm going to sleep and then tomorrow But not tomorrow the yeah tomorrow is what Saturday Saturday will be gone all day Hopefully if we make we got to make $400 this week to make ends meet We've already made 127 which is what we made yesterday But literally the only thing on my mind, and I cannot get it out of my mind is Bills bills bills money money money, and I know a lot of you guys out there are struggling with the same thing It's like the more money you make The more money that goes out and that's the yeah, that's that's the crux of the whole whole situation More food money because we're out. We're having to go to restaurants instead of eating at home And on top of on top of that The gas money so it's just it you know you you make $500 and a hundred and fifty of it goes to gas for that week And then another maybe 60 to 80 dollars goes to food. It's yeah anyways So that's all literally all I'm thinking about But also I wanted to go live to tell people who are struggling with writing every day. It is okay Not to be okay. It is okay not to have daily writing it is okay and While I'm trying to rebuild this routine and all this could be coming off as excuses it is okay Not to work at least one day. I know we all have Responsibilities and things that need to get done But it is okay to take some time for yourself and I'm saying that as I know I have to go out this afternoon and work again But I also have to focus. There's a third order of business. I also have to focus on my family making sure my family is okay It's not just me. There's three other people is total four of us in this household And we have to make sure that everyone is okay Dan's job is going fantastically But I am not the kind of parent that my parents were or maybe your parents were That made their kids pay rent or made it or whatever I want Dan to be able to save up the money that they make so that they can go out into the world prepared If they decide to go out into the world, they're always welcome at home. It doesn't matter But that goes for both of my kids So I am no I am not I really like you know if Dan's working Why are you struggling so much not everybody but a couple people have mentioned it and it's because I'm not that parent They're the bills of this house not Dan's responsibility. They are mine and shells So that's what we're doing. We're taking care of that and we're making sure that they are financially stable So if they do decide to go and do something else and move out and whatever that they have that base that they need To do the right thing He just I just ordered a burger for dinner. I wish he would deliver it That would be a long dash and be probably about a $12,000 dash But I'd be happy to accomplish that for you Jordan. Anyways So I wasn't even gonna go live today. I was gonna shoot a video But I turned on the camera set up OBS and all that to record and I just kept stumbling all over my words And I was like, I don't have time to edit this. I'm just gonna go live but anyways, so it is okay to take a day off and Main reason I'm saying it is okay is I got a comment yesterday from someone that I Don't I don't know there was that there was a person who was upset Because they signed up for a membership on the channel memberships have always been for people who just want to support the channel There's nothing pay walled. There's no content over there That you know is going to make the membership worth it It is just for the people who want to support me because they asked for me to turn on memberships Same with the patreon patreon people the the it was the fans who wanted the patreon so on and so forth but They got upset and harassed me on Instagram the only place they haven't really got me is tiktok And I think there's just another one of their accounts, but I got a comment yesterday that said Something to the effect of I told I tried to tell y'all that he was gonna flake And he wasn't gonna finish the series because he never does first thing I got to say about that is I'm not dependable do not depend on me if you're a fan of this channel. You know, I'm not dependable I disappear for months at a time Sometimes there's videos every day for a couple months and sometimes there's nothing for several months Do not depend on me do not depend on this content because what comes first for me a hundred percent of the time Every single time is gonna be my family So but I am pushing forward. I'm gonna finish this story We're gonna keep on going it may not be live But I'm gonna keep on going keep on pushing and then on Sunday I will try and go live early in the day and You know read the story to you guys The editing will have to wait until next week. That's that's just it luckily next week story. I'm swapping out One story that was going to be much longer about the family stuck in the loop After the barbecue restaurant that I talked about in the last one I'm gonna be skipping that and I'm gonna be jumping to a shorter story that I can go ahead and knock out But that will end up being the third story in the collection. It'll be confusing, but we'll make it work Thank you tie for the hugs was worried yesterday that something happened. Yeah, it did but it wasn't yeah, it wasn't Disasterous, thank fuck Glad to be wrong. I Instead finished listening to life at the Dane dude. Why did you do that to me? I liked her and Sven It is what it is. I don't know what else to say, but that ending boy whoo That ending something else and that ending just happened man, Richie. There's a hundred percent honest I don't have I'm not in contact with the two people who were with me while not really with me But we're reading it daily. I Had a friend angel and a friend Jill no longer in contact with either one of them But they were reading along every day. I wrote I wrote the book in nine days And it just kind of fell out of me. The only thing that was added was the part where Dane is hiding food my editor wanted me to add that because she she had that experience So then I had to write another chapter in modern time to balance that one So there were two chapters in there that were added later But nothing was cut nothing was changed the ending was just like that and it just everything just fell right into place it's It's one of those books that I have been trying my entire career To do better than and the closest I've ever come from my own personal You know taste is the sound of broken ribs and it's still number two. It's still under life after Dane Right every day advice. Yeah, I've always hated that right every day advice sounds like or else or else what? I'm currently trying to write every day. I can but if I can't one day, so be it, right? this this whole thing Really has nothing to do with the viewership or keeping the channel alive it has to do with me getting back on the horse and and The accountability of coming out here and working every day needs to happen, but at the same time You do not you do not build good routines By starting with burnout You guys can write that one down if you want to good routines do not start with burn out They never do so I'm going to ease myself back into this. I'm going to write whenever I get a chance Forcing myself only to write on stream is limiting And I don't want to limit these stories. I want each and every one of these stories to be good I don't want any filler stories any bullshit stories. I want them to all have meaning and purpose so I will take care of Finishing this story. I don't know if it'll be good, but I will finish it and then The best cure for burnout is fog not today not today already. I have the heater on and I know the power out here can't handle both of them You said your editor felt you had to add a section about eating food seems weird if you weren't asking for that kind of input No, okay, let me okay. It's it's not It's about hiding food. There was a story I don't I don't want to name her because I'm not in good terms with her either But when I was working on the book I was looking for I I really just delved deep into my own childhood experiences So while my dad wasn't physically abusive. He was emotionally abusive and he pretty much had the same Sayings and lines that you know Dain's father had that Phil had And when I got to I got to a certain section and the editor said something's missing here We have not tackled certain things That I think would it would make the book better. I was like, what are you talking about? It's like a situation that happened to her when she was a child She she told me the story and I said, you know what that'd be perfect Do you mind if I fictionalize it and use it for this? So? She brought that up She brought up that it covered the theme. She was looking for and that it worked and it did work in the story Editors sometimes have great fucking ideas and she had a great idea She had a lot of bad ideas too, but that's where your own discretion has to come into play your own You know analytical critical thinking skills is like how does it serve the story? Does it does it make the story better or does it feel like filler so on and so forth? And that section really felt like it should have been there the entire time. It just fit the whole thing Looking back. I never hid food But I did have Certain things that I was not allowed that I would eat Outside of the house like I wasn't allowed milk at all whatsoever Because my mother was lactose intolerant. My dad didn't like it and so when I was at school I would literally they were they had a free milk table where anyone who didn't want their milk or didn't like milk They could put it in on this table looking back on it Probably a health cold violation, but I don't know because there was no nothing keeping it cold and I would literally I would take that milk and You know some in fact I held a record for how many cartons of milk I drank when I was a little fat kid so 1414 was the record at my school and that that was mine. Anyways, a little funny side story, but I thought that the scene fit perfectly and Just like Jimmy was bringing up certain things in the last dream that I was like that's a good idea That's a good idea. So you never know where inspiration and ideas are gonna come from And just give those people credit when they come up with a fantastic idea Give those people credit and while I'm not on good terms with that editor In fact, I got a pretty insulting check from that company. I haven't been with that publisher since 2016 Was the last time I ever spoke with them And I got a check for 75 cents recently 75 cents And I know they have to pay every single penny that I've made I understand that but that's 75 cent check was like the final Slap in the face with everything else. I had gone through with that publisher Anyways, but do not take that as the I I was forced into writing that section I enjoyed writing that section and I think it made the book better What's the next one of yours that I should audible crawl if you have not listened to crawl crawl is a Fantastic production. I'm talking movie quality production Eventually, I'll finish the talisman, but I need to change from it King pushed my patience with yeah I did I hated the talisman I got you that makes more sense was just curious if you felt you was overreaching if I thought I'm one of those People I won't say writers. I'm one of those people that if I have an issue with someone I'm gonna take that issue directly to them as soon as I have the issue I'm not gonna go behind my back and talk to other people and go what should I do about this? So on and so forth The only time I do that is when the issue doesn't involve me is like should I say something? Should I do something? I'll ask my friends that kind of thing But if I have a problem with someone I'm going straight to them I've done it several times on discord Sometimes it ends really really well my good friend lazy homebody that you guys have seen in chat I've had I've had to confront her about something Is several different people that I've had to talk to a couple of them I had the block because they were just so stuck in their hate that they couldn't let it go But yeah, if I have an issue with you I'm bring it to you directly unless you're not worth my time and all my friends are worth my time so if I have an issue I'll bring it directly and My editor at the time was a good friend of mine And if she whenever she did overreach I brought it to her I'm like, I don't think this will work at all because at the end of the day. It's my story I'm gonna tell it however. I want to And as long as it's grammatically correct Punctuation structure all that stuff then there's no reason why I can't tell whatever story I want to tell But I have gotten more good advice from editors than I have bad advice It and another thing I want to touch on that nobody ever talks about is Okay, let me let me say something. All right when When authors tell a reviewer What do you know about writing books? What do you know? Rada Rada Rada, you know You're gonna leave me a negative review. How many books have you written? None of that shit makes and it None of that shit matters. None of it matters I Would listen more to the person who is not a writer than I would listen to seasoned writers And yes, this is coming from someone who likes to give advice on the internet I would listen to people who read And that is their only gig is to read I would listen to them before I listen to a writer Because a writer is going to want to rewrite your story and change your story To fit what they think that story should be But when you get reviews when you get in-depth reviews that go Hey, okay, this didn't make any sense. Perfect example. Perfect example Um Todd or sorry Riley Sager The the author of final girls and a bunch of other books There is a scene in his book in final girls where The one of the characters has beat up a homeless man Um, their hands are busted all the shit. Okay, because they literally gotten a hand fist to fist fight with a homeless man The detective that comes to talk to this character about the beating never checks the character's hands never, um, I brought this up in a review and Funnily enough because I use so many different names The author did not know that I was a writer as well. Um, and made some comments Like yeah, well, yeah, but what have you done? Um, but my point is nothing changes the fact that that part of that story Should have been fixed Should have been any number of things could have happened. She could have been wearing gloves Anything could have happened. Um, she could have had her hands tucked in her pockets the entire time Like I do right now in my hoodie that that kind of thing any number of things could have been could have happened Um, and it's a it's readers that find that kind of thing writers Most of the times like let the story be the story um, or if they do Want you to change it they want you to change it to what they think this story should be So I would listen to a reader that only only reads does not do any Does does not do any writing whatsoever just like I listened to jimmy and jimmy swears up and down He's not a writer even though he has fantastic storytelling abilities I would listen to jimmy Before I would listen to chad. Um, and that's that's kind of bold to say but that's that's the honest truth Um, another reason is me and chad are completely two completely different authors Um trying to come together to write one book was a very interesting experience because I wanted certain things He wanted certain things and we had to try to meet in the middle so Uh constructive criticism is okay for review to be fair as long as you just shit As long as you're not just shitting on it. Yeah, yeah, but Also, I would say that reviews that are entirely negative are okay Also, if you didn't like anything about the book, tell me you didn't like anything about the book Um it and you want to point those things out that that's fine No, no piece of creative media is going to be for everybody I'm glad I was a reader first. I've heard of writers that don't read and what there's I will defend those writers For one reason what I just said Um, I'm gonna bring that back up. It's their story. Um, you know, it's They don't want any like there's a there's an author who comes who falls off the map comes back like every two or three months Uh kind of like someone else, you know And uh, I don't I don't want to call her out, but um, she She does not read when she's writing. Um, she reads when she's not writing because she does not want Any outside influence Now imagine a writer like me who writes as much as I do or did I haven't been writing much at all lately But imagine a writer like me um, who spends You know a good chunk of their time writing um And then has to do other things doesn't have time to read. Um so imagine If I were to Hang on. How do I want to put this? I will point and I want to get there clearly. Um I can't I can't think of a good. Well, basically what I'm getting at is The authors that do that normally do it because they don't want the outside influence Um, and for someone who has like a full-time job and everything you also have to find the line between You know work and research work and entertainment that kind of thing So I understand the authors who say that but the ones who like never read anything I've never read a good book by an author who doesn't read something at some point in time There are certain fiction authors that only read nonfiction. There are certain nonfiction writers who Only read fiction. Um, so while you can learn from the process sometimes the process can be stunting Sometimes the process Will be helpful It it all depends on the individual. That's the that's the only defense I have for those people Uh, yeah, it definitely worked tim the uh, uh, uh, tim says, uh, yeah speak on that experiment which had, um Uh, final thoughts. Did it work it it worked? Um, is the book what I expected it to be? No Um, is that a bad thing? No, um, it is I will say the only piece of criticism I have for our book is that I was looking forward to more stuff in the middle about the carnival And we just kind of blew right through that. Um, there wasn't enough that I felt was there that Then we'll tackle this all at you know another time but, um What I signed up for Isn't in the book. Um, it's still a good book. It's still a great story. But it's not What I signed up for I signed up for the carnival aspect that you know The little slice of life here there there, you know that that kind of thing But the main the main focus became the cocaine And you know his and the the character Shane's obsession with it And how that turned everything and it should be I mean it's a plot driven story With you know character development depth and all that stuff, but I wanted more stuff in the carnival setting And we got a lot of stuff in the carnival setting, but I wanted more slice of life stuff Kind of bouncing around without meaning kind of thing. Um, at the end of the day It's such a short book. It probably would have suffered had I got you know what I wanted So there's that fly on the wall. Yeah, I figured you were here chat. Um, let's see here uh, I've heard of Writers though the ones I meant never read at all. They think is dumb. I've heard some say seriously That's not a good look if you're out there, you know telling people not to read and you're a writer What the fuck are you doing? It's like opening up a restaurant and then telling everybody that you know That you don't like food I don't I'm that confuses me that really does um You figured I was here. Yeah, like I've got nothing. No. No, that's not what I was saying There are 18 people here. There's a certain subsection of my my crew my you know people who watch me And if a certain number number of people are here, I can pretty much guarantee that those people are here um But yeah, anyways, I kind of figured you were here. Uh, let's see here. That probably goes for most art form. Oh, yeah any creative Any creative medium imagine directing a movie without ever watching one that would be an interesting thing Like I would like to read a book written by someone who has never read a book. That would be a great experiment um, I would like to see What that person would come up with without anything to go off of I would love to read that the closest I've ever gotten is I had a friend one point in time Who was not a reader wanted to tell her story Started writing and it was the most god-awful thing that I had ever ever read period No punctuation whatsoever because I fucked up and I told her so you got to watch the advice that you give certain people Um, I told her just sit down and start writing. It doesn't matter. Just sit down and start writing Not knowing that she didn't even have a basic grasp Of a punctuation I didn't know what to use when to use a period and when to use a question mark when to use the exclamation point Any of that stuff it was literally 12 pages of run on Just rambling and I was like, you know, this is what this is why I say there's a difference between a storyteller and a writer A writer is a mechanics. They're down for the structure. They can learn they can adapt They can do all that stuff a storyteller Is just good at coming up with ideas. That's it You gotta watch out for each add my boy talking a little shit. No, it's it's yeah I know you're kidding, but it it had nothing to do with it has nothing to do with that um, it uh, it it has to do with Sometimes a project is not going to go the way you want it to And it can still be a damn good project And that's how I feel about planet caravan right now. Of course. I have not read the ending I still have not read the ending, but I I emailed chad. This is another reason why I figured you'd show up at some point I emailed chad last night and I was like the I'm giving myself the second week of march off to work on this book Whether or not we'd live stream it. I don't know probably Um, because I want to keep that I want to give people what they signed up for so We'll do that. Um, hopefully he hasn't emailed me back yet But I see how it is. You're gonna come into my stream, but you ain't gonna email a fool back Yeah, I got messages from all different kinds of people And you got nothing from chad. I talk shit all I want Okay, I'm back around I'm in the middle of shipping stuff apparently I'm a smut peddler I sold a gay porno vhs last night who watches vhs anymore a lot of people Um, it's just like I was talking to shell about the local porn store Um, and then there's there's several in montgomery, but there's only one here in prattville And uh, it's kind of on the outskirts like right before you get to montgomery. Uh, I think it's in that it's It's in that space like almost unincorporated and I think that's why they were allowed to open it But anyways long story short, uh, they're always busy Always and I know sex toys are never going to go out of style But they are always busy. There's always cars in that parking lot and it's a the building is by itself in a big open area It's not like people are parking there and then going over to mcdonald's if you get what i'm saying um So I'm just like who out here buying porn when there's you porn porn hub all these other I'd probably just got demonetized But anyways, it doesn't matter. Um Who is out here buying this stuff? I mean, I understand only fans like being able to ask for in you know pay is like, okay Hey, let me give you 50 bucks and you do this deed or whatever. I completely get that But why buy this stuff? Are there that or are there that many? Are there that many people out there consuming porn going I feel bad about this because I'm not paying for it Honestly, is there that many? Busy thinking about cocaine to be emailing people fuck off Fuck off At the end of the day people know what they like a reader will know Uh, what will make the story better? That's your audience right for them screw writing for the writers I will go one more and I'm gonna disagree with you to a certain extent I'm gonna I'm gonna explain why write for yourself Make yourself happy Period. That's all this is for because the worst writing I have ever done is writing on spec is writing something that someone Gave me to write That someone told me to write asked me to write um, I I really Really despise a certain short story that I published Because I forced it because someone asked me to Um, and I'm not going to mention it because every time I mention the stuff of mine that I don't like it Never fails for someone else to pop in and go like that's my favorite story of yours And I don't want to shit on my fans. So I love the advice you said about trusting readers more than writers though I've heard writers say advice that makes the reader and me go what yeah, um, that that's the thing Uh You have people who are writers writers who write for other writers and you see a lot more of that in like the You you see a lot more of that in the literary side of things. You also see quite a bit of it in a community setting um Where people will get together and just share bad advice and then go do that bad advice And then you catch them on social media. You're going Why am I having so many problems? Probably because your little writing group on facebook Is just sharing the same bad advice that they've been sharing this whole time Um, as one thing that I had to hunt down someone gave me a quote That went against everything why telling is better than showing sometimes Um, and sometimes it is but the argument in the article was completely bad shit insane It didn't make any sense like people don't want to read about character development Just tell them why this person's in this predicament and go on about your business. It's pretty it's pretty much the the thing. Um, and Not not showing the emotional involvement that comes with why that scene is important or so on and so forth um And come to find out that the the quote that they were sharing from this article Was from an author who had written one book with a 1.2 star average on amazon And all of the comments say the same thing This book was written by someone who does not have a Grasp of the even the simplest grasp of the english language So just be careful where you get your advice from even from me. Don't don't take anything I say as absolute 100 fact. I can tell you what Works for me. Um, but I i'm also aware that I am rare in this business The way I work how I do what I do the many different names and you know Diverse products that I have out in the world. Um, I'm a rarity So never never base your entire writing regimen or whatever on shit that I tell you or anyone else It takes all of the creativity out of it. It takes all the self out of it Um, I have a I have a phrase that I use over and over again. It's been so long I don't know if I came up with it or if I heard someone else say it But if mimicry is the failure of self If you are trying to be something else if you are trying to mimic something else You're not being You're not being your true self. It's it's pretty much what it comes comes down to. Um, so make yourself happy first It's like it's like you can't really love another person unless you love yourself. It's the kind of it's the kind of thing there but um Also, sometimes it takes another person's love for you to love yourself Um, but it all comes down to the individual is what i'm getting at What works for me is not going to work for everybody What works for you isn't probably not going to work for me because i'm old and set in my ways. Um, but It is important to make sure that you research the person who's giving the advice Um, go and check how many you know go and check their reviews check the positive check the negative check all that stuff It's important to do those those things before you take someone's advice Um, and just do your own research. That's it. Uh, happy new year. Dustin. How you doing? They buy there so they have something to watch on the laptop when the power and internet goes out Hang on They buy there so they have something to watch on the laptop on the power and internet goes I'm not sure what you're talking about richie. I I blow through topics, you know constantly so Different people work differently and that is beautiful. Yeah The world would be a very very boring place if we all did the same thing and we all like the same thing and all that stuff I run on weed music and chaos and writing. I can't write when i'm high my everything Here's another thing I want to I want to talk about something real real here 33 minutes 34 minutes deep into this um, I write better when I'm not in a good mood when things are not going well and I realized that last night um, I realized that my best books were written during a time of conflict Um, and my worst books my worst stories the ones that I consider the worst were written during a time of happiness um And that that bothers me. Uh, it does but it's something that I need to come to terms with is I write much better when I am In trouble when I am in crisis, uh, and I am better at life when there's a crisis too um And so much so that I was you know drama king, you know on twitter and goodreads and all that stuff Because you know, it it gave me that I don't know it gave me that if I was in trouble I had something to fight. You know what I mean? Um, and when I don't have anything to fight. I am not a good creative person Foreign store got you got you When the power and internet goes out it's fair fair fair uh But you know, they still sell vhs in those stores that that's what I was getting at I I didn't even say that but they still sell vhs tapes in those stores Uh, I don't need to be high, but it doesn't stop me unless it makes me fall asleep You deserve to be happy and rest too. Yeah, the rest part is Is killing the because I went I literally went from having Every hour of the day free To I kind of stair stepped into it because it went from you know being on disability Uh, or actually before that it went from you know, me writing and making plenty of money with my Writing graphic design all that stuff and went from that all and that all dried up And went from that to having to take dan back and forth to work, which it's a it's an hour Uh round trip 30 minutes there 30 minutes back So two hours a day out of my life was gone and then it went from that then cutting off my disability I didn't have any income from the books to stories movies any of that stuff So that got cut off and then My disability got cut off, which was what I was using to survive in between And now I am dashing so literally every free moment It's gone from having all the time in the world to having no time to where I have to schedule a week Two months in advance to work on something that's already done Yeah, yeah, I know chad, but it's I want to be able to enjoy my work, you know and Using my work only as an escape as as an escape as tactic Uh It it pains me that I can't do this when I'm happy Um, or I can't you know, I can't write anything worth a fuck when I'm happy So unfortunately life doesn't want to let you rest right exactly. Yeah, that's uh nailed it Oh man It's already been a this this week has been a whole month and we're barely on the fourth We put this up here the story. I'm writing my initial plan was a short horror story What am I writing fantasy story trauma from me infecting it possible novel at least novella? Uh, I didn't ask to write trauma. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I know um It's like so much of me is coming out in the in linda that you know, it's a little too close to home I'm enjoying the story. It's going to be good. It's going to have a positive outcome at the end um, but yeah, it's uh, it's a matter of you know getting through Being okay with sharing myself. Um, but it's really it's it's really easy. Don't get me wrong It's really easy to put yourself in fiction. Um, just your own and that's why they you know, write what you know that kind of thing so putting your own It makes sense that you know when conflict is interesting conflict is entertainment a lot, you know, there's a vast majority of the The media that we consume is about conflict That's why I say, you know, every story is a horror story at some point Because there's got to be lost. There's got to be conflict. There's got to be dread There's got to be that that feeling that you don't want anything bad to happen to these people and then something bad has to happen Because that's entertaining um Hang on Happy people don't kill people. They just don't your business is writing In writing involves killing people from time to time You can't do the work you do when you're happy because of that I can't argue that I can't I don't I don't have any I don't have any response to that Uh, try different genre writing when happy and see if that works. I did. Um, I me and darin cap off wrote two books together Um, and that was me writing when I was happy and while i'm proud of those books There was a lot of rewriting needed. Um on my end, uh darin was was fine But yeah, it was there was a lot of stuff that I needed to change and you know add more drama attention, whatever Uh, I think horror is exceedingly hard to write if you are a happy person Um, I I at least in my in my opinion that that's true Um, and I think that's why steven king has gone So far away from horror with his most recent stuff is because he's so happy and content being an old dude just fucking off And I'm happy for him. I may not like the new stuff, but I'm happy for him. You don't want to kill him Yeah, uh, this kind you're talking to someone who they has at least 40 40 novels out there that all have unhappy endings. So I I am I am all about affecting the reader Uh, I am all about manipulating emotions Uh, that's why I find it funny when, uh, I see negative reviews of books saying that That I don't like how emotionally manipulative this book is That's what a that's what fiction is supposed to be emotionally Manipulative We need to be able to lie to you to gaslight you into believing that these people are real So that you care for them so that we can break your fucking heart And maybe mend it by the end writing Just the creative process in general is all emotional manipulation That's just it Have you considered songwriting as a side thing? I know you play a guitar a bit, uh That that time of my life has long since passed I've written maybe five songs in the past decade and I just keep replaying them over and over again Um as far as songwriting as an option for income No, it's just not going to happen. I mean nowadays you even hear like, you know Beyonce and taylor swift complaining about Spotify Um music is so undervalued right now. Really the only way to make money is live shows So hey bookable But i'm going to have to most likely but also i'm a panther so fuck my no 100% I love those books the more emotionally manipulated the better exactly I mean, what what else are we doing if we if we are not trying to manipulate readers emotionally What else are we doing because even making a reader have fun Is emotional manipulation you are manipulating them into having fun Because these books are not fact these books are Supposed to be fun like donna tart said the first job of any novelist is to entertain And even entertainment entertainment is emotional manipulation And the laughter is the best medicine kind of thing, you know, it's Making you feel a way that is different from how you felt before you went into the project Before you went into that media You know, if you go if you come out The other side of that project that whatever media it is if you come out the other side unchanged Unthinking and just move on like it was me It's not done its job. Do you hate it with a passion enough to give it one star? Awesome. Tell me about it. Did you love it? Five stars 22 star wish you could give it 22 stars. Tell me about it It's right there in the middle. The meh didn't do anything for me. That's where the bad writing is That's where the bad stories are right there in the middle. Now. I'm not saying a three star review is worse than a one or Whatever, I'm not saying that what I'm saying is if you leave your Reader or who or your viewer or whoever if you leave them with a sense that they have not been emotionally manipulative manipulated They are going to be mad at you They are going to and there is nothing worse as a creative person than hearing. That's all right That what no fuck that. No, that's why that's another reason why negative reviews never bothered me because I won I Manipulated you emotionally to the point where now I am the worst thing you have ever read Fuck yeah, I win. I mean you every time someone asks you what's the worst book you've ever read You're gonna point and say Bayes and by Edward Lorne Uh, the sound of broken ribs by Edward Lorne or cruelty by Edward Think about that every single time and then the person they're talking to is going to get Like how bad can it actually be they go check the look inside? Hey, the writing isn't bad. Let me go ahead and buy this Negative press sells books. It does but I've been saying that I'm just repeating shit over and over again For my own artistic expression No, not necessarily for money. Oh, yeah, I I'll sit down and tinker with with stuff But I don't have enough time now to do it. Um, unfortunately I prefer sad songs books to yeah me too Uh, and I really prefer sad stuff when I'm happy Um, if there's something there's something wrong up here that prefers it when I'm in crisis When I'm sad that kind of thing. So it is a constant struggle to to Remove myself from the negativity Um constantly and I know you guys have the same issue but it is a constant struggle to remove myself from the negativity and to Not listen to the one out of a hundred and what I mean by that is they're always going to be one person out there That can't fucking stand you you're going to live in their head rent-free. I got one right now Um at at least one there might be two there might be more I don't know. There's 11,000 people that that follow this this channel. Um, but that's winning When when you get under someone's skin so much that they have to that they invest So much time to create multiple accounts to come back at you over and over and over again You've won you have beaten that person without any effort whatsoever just by existing just you existing Ruining that person's day and that is amazing. It's like one of the emails I got when I when I did my Uh my stream about I need your help Um, the guy was like, hey if you come out and say, you know, trump is uh trump is god or whatever I'll I'll give you $500 right now. He also wanted to buy my first first of a carry for like $500 something like that But it was a testament to the one out of the hundred rule That so many people came out to support me and then there was this one person over here just Raging at their screen To the point that they wanted to pay me To make them look right. Um, and I just I laughed and deleted it. Um, and I know he's out there watching But the stuff that comes in yeah, I read it But then I delete it because you are one out of a hundred You're one out of 11,000 maybe you are one person And then I have all these I have 99 other people who are supporting who care about me It is a testament to kindness. It is a testament to human goodness That that happened that I did not even have to consider I wouldn't have anyways because I'm not your dancing monkey But I wouldn't have even considered doing it For for the money just because I know my people got my back And that's it. So I'm struggling with the book. I started literally only did a chapter and a half. Well, what are you reading bookable? Yeah, any publicity is good publicity kind of thing. Yeah, um, unless of course, you know You mess with kids or your murderer or whatever But even those people like well not maybe not the the kid the kiddie Fuckers, but uh, definitely the like serial killers and people who you know You know what I'm talking about. I think it fan mail think of Charles Manson think of Jeffrey Dahmer all them It's one of the things that I said when I did my spanking engagement in Hoover was uh, you know what there There's gonna be people out there that hate your stuff to a point where it becomes a passion of theirs to hate you Um and those people are your biggest fans those those people are the the people who are so obsessed with you um that They can't think of anything else. So every time they see you succeeding or even they they find pleasure when you fail And when you succeed it just drives them absolutely nuts. Um, so, you know, I Watch me win. You can watch me win. Um, and that's another reason why I'm sharing this whole struggle Instead of just hiding, you know in in my house while all this shit goes down Is because yes bad times come there's a season for everything But it's how you it's like I have up on my wall. I've talked about it just endure Get through this and handle the next thing when it comes up Yeah, I'm too lazy for that too. Jimmy Jimmy said imagine them having that much energy for hate to create multiple accounts I'm too lazy for that It's it's also but going back to the one out of 100 all of us do this You will be writing a high you will be on a wave You will be at your absolute best And then someone will come in and bring negativity into the situation and for some odd reason we pay attention to that We don't pay attention to the 99 other people who are cheering us on and you know Doing everything in their power to make sure that you know, you make it We don't do that. We focus on that 1 percent. We focus on this little random Rage machine and go and start questioning Are they right? Or that everybody must feel this way just because this one numbskull thinks this way Just because this one goofball said something that's negative does not mean that's true And that's the same thing I tell you with with writing if you're writing something and one editor says hey You should or let's say you send it to beta readers All beta readers come back and say hey, this is an issue That's when you start paying attention But when you have multiple beta readers and each one of them has like one little off Thing is like, okay. Well, I like the whole book, but I didn't like this if no one else mentions that It's probably going to stay in the book But if everybody mentions it then I think about fixing it I was like, is it a problem that I want the reader to have You're reading the dead zone right now. Yeah, that that one I'll keep my opinions to myself, but uh, it starts out fan fucking fantastic one of my favorite openings 99 problems, but a hate or ain't one. Yeah Well, yeah, that's that's why they do what they do Jordan. I mean, that's that's just it It's I've been in that situation where you know, I had so much animosity and hate in in me That you know, I troll accounts all that stuff. This is back when you know I was on my mother's 33 333 megahertz barbie computer. You remember those they had like hot wheels and barbie Well, my sister's got together and bought my mom a barbie computer 333 megahertz If you know what that means your jaw is probably on the floor, but anyways, um, so I was 16 or 17, I believe I could be wrong. I might have been 18 I know I wasn't old enough to buy cigarettes So it had to be before that But I was one of those edge lords on the internet going through cheetah chat Yahoo chat all that stuff until I finally, you know matured and got all that waste out of my head Um, I I'd go by mr. Sick and twisted to you Sick and twisted at you. I can't remember what all they were but I had multiple accounts and I used to just, you know Fuck with people Um, am I proud of it? No, but I used to do it So I understand the mentality But it's how you grow from that if you are still that person to this day Then yeah, fuck off, you know, you're not you're not worth, you know The the piss to put out the fire that, you know, you stepped into Yeah, you grow you grow out of stuff like that It's like there's there's another guy and I believe this one Is is a different person but One of the things you'll see from children like, you know teenagers Down is cringe is like this dude is so cringe Bitch, you don't even have hair on your nuts. What the fuck are you talking about? Go have some life experience and then come back and talk to a 43 year old person, you know, it's it's It's it's just that who who gives a fuck if you think I'm cringe What is it? What does it matter? It doesn't if it's not for you go away if it is for you hang around We'll have a fantastic fucking time, but Anyways, but I am sorry that there is no writing today. I do apologize and we will get this done um And we will be back at it Monday at least Monday and Tuesday next week Um, I'm not promising anything beyond Monday and Tuesday anymore Uh, but these stories will get done You guys will be able to see the beginnings and if you're over on patreon You'll be able to get the read the endings as soon as they go up Um, so yeah, I know ties on patreon. I got a couple other people Oh, by the way here at the end these people are not going to see this but I want to give a huge shout out to uh, h michael casper for uh Following on patreon for an entire year paying up front for it and there was another person give me a second Oh, who was it? Who was it? Hang on. This is gonna bother me I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's so much going on in my head. I want to give a shout out to these people Oh, yeah, um, let's see here. Um, michael fowler and uh Paid for an entire year also so Yeah, no fog No writing no fog. What kind of channel is this? Ah Yeah, um If I don't like something I see on the internet, I just keep scrolling. Yeah, I mean that's yeah Go for it. I know I know I've heard that a lot ty and it doesn't matter to me It's like if somebody wants to point at me and go yeah, dude's autistic I got a touch of the tism. Whatever. What can I tell you? I mean if I'm not for you to go away as simple as that I never know what I'm going to do or say to get in trouble I have no idea when it happens and anytime it does happen. It's always And here's here's a bit of advice Everything negative is a flash in the pan just like everything positive is a flash in the pan It's not going to hang around something else is going to come and overshadow that thing Move on. I know that's so much easier said than done and I'm still struggling with it, but move the fuck on Move move on just what you know, if you can't stand the comments Don't read the comment section if you can't stand the reviews. Don't read your reviews Uh do whatever you need to do so that you can stay productive and happy You're not always going to be happy, but you want to put yourself into a position to where you are happy Um, here's okay. So peep this We all have negative thoughts We all worry constantly The thing is the future is make-believe everything we think is going to happen in the future Is not guaranteed to happen. I don't care if you think yourself a psychic or any of that stuff If we are imagining the bad shit to come Why is it so hard to imagine the good shit to come? Why is that so difficult? So what I've been doing is every time I have a negative thought I come up with a positive response to it I come up with a positive balance Let's say today. Okay. Well, I don't I'm not going to be able to write My head is scattered. I'm stressed out So let's make a positive out of this and go live And talk to people about the struggles that you're going through because there's bound to be somebody out there Who feels the exact same way? So here I am anyways, so By the way, my tv light and everything still work I don't know if if you watched the stream yesterday, you guys know I knocked all this shit down But uh, yeah, uh, I'm gonna try and write. I'm gonna try and finish linda tonight or tomorrow Um, and then I will read positivity. Yeah, um And I'm not talking about false fake positivity You don't need to fake being positive to anyone Just like today, this isn't a very positive stream But I'm at least I'm trying to add some positivity to it by giving advice that you can take you can throw to the wind Whatever, but I would definitely don't listen to me blindly Don't unless you're seeing impaired and then I understand. Sorry. That was a bad joke, but uh, it's It makes me feel good that you guys listen But it also worries me that you guys are going to take this advice As the only way to do things. That's why I always back up. It works for me. It may not work for you so I've written down save quotes that I like motivational stuff and oh, yeah, definitely Um, I had like I said just endure my friend told me just endure and I come out here every day to look at that sign Um, and it's it's one of those things I've said for a long time Um, it gets better Is a lie sometimes it doesn't get better but the The purpose of that statement it gets better is to keep you here And that is not a bad thing It may not always get better, but every day you wake up Is a chance that it can get better Doesn't mean it's gonna be it might even get worse. Trust me. I've been going through that every day There's a new struggle to to to attack to defend from But every day that you wake up is a chance for something fucking magical to happen I should that's that's the truth There's there is nothing out there that can debunk that there's nothing out there saying that no matter what The tomorrow is going to be worse. Just like there's nothing guaranteeing That tomorrow is going to be better We just have to endure We have to endure Because otherwise What's this life about if you're like me an atheist nihilist all that stuff What other reason are we here for then the reason that we are here and that is to exist Beyond that everything that we do with the existence that we have been lucky to have Is icing on the cake And just because you're stuck at a dead-end job or whatever whatever wherever you think that you're stuck in life There is someone either more stuck than you Or someone who has given up and the only true giving up is the end Everything else is failure and you can always come back from failure always anyways I didn't mean to get my tony robbins on but You you you have been given advice that you didn't ask for I hope that you take it with a grain of salt like I said before It's just Don't search for meaning make your meaning There you go Make your meaning meaningful Whatever that might be Okay, we're an hour into this. Um, I'm gonna go try and get some rest Before I have to take Dan to work at one And then we have to door dash till seven tonight and then uh And then I'm gonna come home and now I found these wonderful brownies. Let me let me type. Let me type what they're called All right, so these these brownies are delta 9 thc They are they are dangerous. They're like an long island iced tea You know how you can't take taste the alcohol in that one, but it's all alcohol Well, these brownies taste exactly like duncan hinds fudge brownies You can't taste the the addition whatsoever Fucking amazing fucking amazing stuff, man. I only it's a bar about this big and I only have like a A corner every time so I'll pop off a corner pop off another corner that kind of thing I'm gonna get some rest. Yeah to quote bill hicks life is just a ride. Yeah, and the journey is always More in my in my opinion the journey is always more fun than the destination Sounds dangerous. I like it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Next book that he writes is a killer motivational speaker. I'm sure that's been done before but anyways, you guys have a fantastic day I love y'all. Thank you for all the support and everything. Thank you for Watching me go on my diet tribes today And once again Just because I gave the advice and you like me does not mean that it is right for you Uh, all right, so by jimmy by viking by tie by richie Um by anyone else who might be out there lurking Thank you for the support all the love and the patience while I figure all my life Shit out, but uh, yeah until next time. I have any you have been you This has been another episode of 52 and 52. That's a lot of rhymes. I'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Bye You goof off