 okay Christmas and expectations you're welcome. I was thinking the other day that you know expectations often are like this wonderful movie in our heads and in this movie we have cast the actors we have written the script and the plot and it's all just so perfect it's a blockbuster actually in the making and then when we get to the Christmas event and occasion and we family and friends the actors don't show up for work and if they do show up for work they don't show it when we said they should in our movie and they don't say the lines we've put in their mouths in the way that we've determined in our movie that they should and you know these stealth expectations that's what they are are the worst kind because though they are stealth expectations we still hold people accountable for them which is the definition of setting ourselves up for disappointment and upset and confrontation even so my advice for you at Christmas is dial down the expectations get rid of the blockbuster movie in your head I get a cheaper version and you might have a better outcome because to expect less is to finish up being pleasantly surprised isn't it to expect too much is to finish up inevitably managing disappointments and discouragements we are not responsible for the movie in your head and others aren't for a movie in your head so maybe get rid of the movie get a reality check remember that I hope you have a better experience at Christmas love you guys talk to you soon cheers