 We think that men who do not have access to money or stability, or security, or confidence, or conversation skills don't deserve to have sex. It's an evolution thing. You shouldn't, you don't deserve it. You... Well, yeah, I would agree. No one deserves to have someone else's body. Right, I mean, but okay, a man without money. Are you saying broken, secure dudes should not have sex? I think that... What do you think of the new look that we've got? We are trying to step up our presentation and production this year. And if you are too, I'm proud to share this video sponsored by Squarespace, a place where you could build the perfect website, start email campaigns, or open an online store today. When you build a community on social media, it's someone else's algorithm, taste, and rules that govern how you can connect with your people. With Squarespace, you're in the driver's seat and you have the power to customize your content to fit your brand and your needs. My website, my mailing list, my book website, all of them are powered with Squarespace. And if you are ready to try and see if they can power your next big idea, go to squarespace.com slash shambudi to start playing around for absolute free, no credit card required. And then when you're ready to launch, you get 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Once again, it's squarespace.com slash shambudi. All right, from your understanding, what is the proposed sex strike? Anybody wanna explain it? Do we know why we're here? Ha ha ha ha. My first thought was, you know, if they don't let us have abortions, we'll just not have sex with anybody. But then I was like, if men want sex, they're gonna get sex in some way, shape, or form. So I started to think about it more and I was like, I think if you're gonna go on a sex strike, it should be for yourself and to protect yourself. I know for me, anytime I'm intimate with a situation ship or casual sex or whatever, I lose my mind a little bit. And I can't focus on work, my art is awful and I'm just kind of like losing my mind. So I abstain from sex just to like re-center myself. And I think if I were ever to go on a strike, it would be for myself and not to like affect men. Because I realize no matter what I do, I cannot control a man ever. That's interesting. Dave Chappelle had this joke years ago where it's like the pussy stock has plummeted because we flooded the market with it. And so in order to make the stock go up, you have to create scarcity. So I think that the concept is generally like, it has to be all or nothing. Like we're all in this together and unifying to be like, we are going to hoard the stock. I agree. I think that pussy and sex and the casual dating and sex apps and Instagram and booty models has really kind of saturated the appeal for sex for men in a way that is way more accessible for them than it used to be pre-social media. I think that as a result of it being so saturated, it's caused a level of entitlement to men and feeling like they can always just get what they want out of women. And if you're not going to give it to them, they'll get it somewhere else. And it's causing issues in dating and mating and long-term partnership and managing expectations and what could occur in a relationship and what's respectable in a relationship because there's too much pussy out there that they feel like they should have access to because not that we've made it that way, but because of the way that media has evolved within the last 10 to 20 years. My mind went kind of the opposite of what you initially thought. Like at first I think I just went for like, well, I mean, sure, if a man's bad at sex, I don't want to have sex with him. Like if we're not getting taken care of, we should like pull back. I think regardless of what reason you're talking about, I think what my mind has been going to as I've been thinking about it is like the idea of a sex strike and taking sex away from men, whether it's based on performance or abortion or whatever, I think it puts sex in this place of almost like it's a reward for men. And I don't like that because at the end of the day, like, I mean, unless you're a sexual, like women want sex too. So to put it in a place of like, I'm taking this away from you so you can't have it. We'll like, well, shit, then I'm not having sex either. So I think again, whether it's based on like performance, like, oh, like he was not meeting my needs, whether it is a political stance, like I think it's all valid, but it's more like, I think what you were talking about is like, I think it should be a self-choice. It takes two to tango, I don't think it should, it makes it about them. And I think that's already such a problem with sex is it's like too much about men. I think that limiting yourself in any way, one way or the other, would be doing yourself a disservice. So kind of what you said, like allowing yourself to have sex if you want to have sex or taking a step back if you don't want to. And I think if we're gonna talk about it in the context of abortion or laws or what's going on in society, if it being too available through Instagram and where our society is gone, often the law and politics in society can be very behind what we want it to be. So we have the opportunity to get to know our bodies in a deeper way. We have an opportunity to get to know our rights and we have an opportunity to figure out what do we want to change and how can we start doing that through practice before we let the law and society catch up with us. Women, y'all grant access to sex. So if you wanna have a serious relationship, you're trying to build something with somebody and you're not giving them sex, they can get it somewhere else. And I feel like that's the little bit of the issue where women aren't necessarily on the same page overall. You don't have to be. Everybody has free will to do what they want, but if sex is so available, it's given to so many people, it makes me quick to go, if I'm trying to date you and after like a week or two, you're not giving it up and it's like, I know somebody that will, just so easily and require less. I think it's a thing that people don't realize that all men don't have sex. All men don't have sex. Majority of men can't get sex. The problem is the small group of men are getting all the sex. I think if there would be a sex strike, it might need to maybe be a, I don't know if you wanna pull a preference or maybe a pullback from all of us giving sex to the same men at such a large rate because I have friends that haven't had sex in months and then I can talk to my one homeboy, he can have sex three times a day if he wanted to. So I think that's just the balance there where I think a lot of people have a misconception where men are just having sex all the time. The average man can have sex when he wants. It's just not possible. Well, you're referencing that 2019 stat that came out that said that one in three men under 30 have not had sex at all in the last year. And so this idea that men have constant sexual access to your point, it's some have. So is there something to shifting the landscape so it's more in women's favor where we make the sexual culture less libertine? Like that's what it's about. It comes down to power. And do you feel like you have the power right now in dating landscape? I personally believe that my vagina deserves the absolute best in men from courting to intimacy, to foreplay, to consistency. And so I- Ooh, I love consistency. I'm not engaging with anyone who's not showing me those qualities and probably more that I forgot to mention sexually. And because I'm not willing to partake in half ass engagements with men in pursuit of sex, I am completely kind of like waving the flag and okay with masturbating because I don't want to deal with what I feel like is in the market right now. So I don't feel like I'm in power, essentially. But that's almost a form of power. Like that exact reason, because I have the same thoughts about myself, is why I feel like I am in control because I used to kind of just take what I can get and that kind of derailed me emotionally in every aspect of my life. And because I've kind of honed it in a little and know what I deserve, I think I feel like I'm more in control. Oh shit, you guys are on sex strikes then? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. You're open with that. Oh yeah. Who here is on a sex strike right now? In the context of how you positioned the question in terms of the dating pool, yes I do feel empowered that I've like, know my self-respect and my values and blah, blah, blah, all of that. But, you know. But a strike that is not unified is useless. Exactly. Like that's the whole point of a strike. The behaviors are not being, it's not influencing men to be better. What's the term when somebody, you cross the picketing line, right? What's the term when, you know what I mean? When we're on strike and then you still go to work, your bitch ass still goes to work, they're like, we're striking today, Lisa. Fuck you. Right. Right? But there's no way for all of us. Well, you want a disproportionate amount. Yes. The book that's called Data Nomics that I read that basically talked about this wherein that when the sexual market is more libertine, like sex is more accessible, it puts women in a disadvantage when it comes to long-term relationships. But when it comes to great sex, maybe they're in an advantage. So that's kind of how you look at it. And that's why I think I struggled to answer the question because like, like to your point, I think when I think about like serious dating, what I want in like a lifelong partner, like, no, I'm not doing very well these days. Like I'm not finding that. If I wanted to just go out and have casual sex, like I could grab my phone right now and probably find that. So like, I think, do I feel empowered that I could go find some sexual gratification, hook up with someone if I wanted to? Yes, I think that is easily accessible. Am I easily finding like the serious partner that I want these days? No. And so, but I think that also comes down to like what people want. Like if someone was just in the mood for something casual, like it's easy to find it here. And that probably would feel empowering. Like, hey, this is what I'm looking for and I can go find it. That's great. But like if you are looking for something more serious, I think, yeah, a mix of like these statistics, just kind of our current culture, it does, I think for women, I think, yeah, it is more difficult to find kind of that serious and all the things that you want in a partner. Can I challenge that thought too? Because I feel like even the casual, you know, hook up culture is not of quality anymore. Oh no, no. Like I feel like, you know, you can casually and like, you know, with integrity have a relations with a man that still feels respectable. Whereas now I feel like we've hit a crisis and like because of dating apps, you know, some men look at women as like pure wet boxes. And there's no integrity in terms of pursuing a respectable casual relationship with that one. So I feel like if women can collectively think that, okay, this has hit a crisis level and we don't want to participate in being treated like wet boxes, and we decide to stop, then I think things can change. If y'all get on the same accord, men will change. If you think about the nineties and the music men would make, we had to sing in serenade y'all to even get a chance. We would have to beg for y'all. We still do. Some of that. No, no, no, no, seriously. Like you listen, and I'm a DJ, so you know, a lot of things, a lot of my references are through music, but and if we lose you, we'll scream and cry for you back, but with this, and I don't want to put it on the city girls, but the city girl era, yes, there's a lot of sexual empowerment, but it kind of leaves those people out that wants like those serious things out to drive because everybody's not living that lifestyle. Some people do want something serious and it's like, well, I want something serious, but the next three girls over are like, no, I don't care, and I require less, and I'll give it to the same guy that you might want to have something serious with. So the dating pool is kind of like rocky, and as a guy that might be in that position where I can have the pick of the litter, it's like, why would I put up with all your standards and requirements when old girl who looks just as good, might be just as accomplished, has a different mindset that benefits what I want right now. The shit just also happened sexually because our grandmas were not getting off. Like they weren't coming, they weren't getting it. Like there was, when I first started as a sex educator in 2005, the orgasm gap was three to one. For every three orgasm persons, the penis is having, the person with the ball was having one. The orgasm gap is now two to one. That's a huge drastic decrease that's happened, and I think we have the sexual liberation movement to thank for that. So maybe the quality of relationships is more difficult to find, but good quality sex, I think, is easier and more consistent than it used to be. Well, because everyone's sharing the same guy. So that one dude, that one dude just fucking it up. That's what I'm saying. If you got one dude you find and knows how to put it down, we all can share him. The one guy that I've been hooking up with the last year in the city, I'm like now friends with all of the girls somehow. Like a sister-wives thing. Basically. So. But I'm saying that's how you close the gap. It's like, okay, I used to have to stay with my one husband or whoever that probably didn't do it. Now it's like, I know he got it good. That's all I care about. And he's serving the community. I also feel like though with that, the men who know they can get whatever they want, whoever they want are the ones who put in the least effort though. They think they can just show up with their big dick and that's all they have to do. I'm gonna be honest, some of the hands down worst sex I've had has been with cool guys or someone with some type of social stature or something because they know they can get you and you and you and you and you. And you're gonna think it's cool that you were with them. And for some girls that's probably great. I know for me at this point, I don't care who you are, I'd rather have a good experience. But I don't know. So yeah, I'm sure there's guys getting it, but I doubt. If you interview those women, I doubt they're as satisfied. It's not the dude reading the comma sutra who's been to that class who has that one cool uncle who's having sex with everybody. It's a dude who's a fuckboy. I don't know what. I think the man I'm talking about is so like in tune with women and so. I mean, I feel like I'm having a very unique experience with them. But apparently everyone's having a very unique experience with them. But hey, I met some cool friends. The more educated and higher status a woman becomes, she has less options. And the man is the reverse. Right. And so I think that's why I found as I've gotten older, I too. Like you guys have just not been interested in as many men or I've found myself much more picky. So inadvertently, I have gone on a strike. Same. I feel like as I, you know, ascended in my life and my career and my outlook in life, you know, it's not just about like withholding sex because that is not the point. I enjoy sex as much as any human does. It's about, again, the quality of the interaction, the thoughtfulness, the respect, you know, the quality of the sex. You know, again, if you're being treated like a depository with no, nothing to look forward to towards the future or even like, even if it's gonna be just that one time in New York, you know what I mean? It doesn't make it worth it. Okay, yeah, we can go and meet at a bar, get drunk and I can, you know, feel a little loose that night. But again, the quality of that hookup is not going to be valuable for me to want to do it again versus a man that I talked at a bar and like, I liked his mind and then I want to like, you know, get on my demon time with him because I'm attracted to his mind, you know? Can I propose a solution? I think I can fix this. Work with me here. So there are two thirds of straight men who have not had sexual part in the past year who are very eager to please and looking to do that. So why don't we have those men as fuck buddies and then not have sex with the person that maybe we're extremely attracted to that we see something long term with. So we have a strike with the minority of men who are having all of the women and then the men who are not getting much, we use them for sexual pleasure and satisfaction. But why are they not getting much? Y'all don't even see them kind of men. They're all past them every day. That's why. That's true. I just don't see that every man's gonna murder me so that's why I just don't even... Let's not even talk about that. Like, but why not compartmentalization? Could that be the key here? Where who are these men who are not having sex? People who are. Okay, so you describe, the problem you described is as women get further along in life in terms of education and earning power, they look for partners who are equal or greater. Men, as they get further along, they get more access to people, but they're not looking up, they're looking down. They're willing to date somebody who works at Chipotle or somebody who owns Disney. So they have both directions going for themselves. So our access gets less because we're only going and looking in this direction. But if you looked down, lack of better term, I don't wanna say the word down, but if you looked to the Chipotle worker for sexual satisfaction, but maybe only looked to people who were gonna give you that sapeous sexual experience for something more long-term, and then withheld sex from them across the board, but then gave the Chipotle guy some really good. Like, does that not mathematical, is the math not it? Don't do Chipotle, because it's guys that work in construction that own construction companies, it's plumbers, electricians. Firefighters. Firefighters. There's so many companies. Firefighters are getting pussy. Let's not add them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's not add them to the fight. This is the problem. We don't think women think they know who's getting pussy. Every man is not. Just because he's a firefighter doesn't mean, I mean, he's getting pussy. One of them guys probably is. He's probably getting all the pussy. But every firefighter, you can't go, oh, just because he's a firefighter, he's definitely getting pussy. Anthony, are you getting pussy? I'm married to him. I mean, I was wondering- It's a hard concept for them to get. It's like, yo, all dudes are not getting it. But I do think that we know who is and who isn't. I don't think it is. It's the person you least expect. I don't know if there's a lot of truth to that. I think it's not that you don't know. I think the guys that you don't know, you don't even see them. You don't even- Who are you referring to? The Chipotle workers are getting pussy, I think. Who are you referring to? But that's what I'm saying. Who's not this? It's not necessarily- Yeah, who is not getting pussy according to you? But it's not necessarily an economic or job thing. It's just a bunch of regular guys out there that just don't have access to women that you would believe. Who are they? What do you mean? You want to name people? Are they hiding? No, what do you mean like that? No, they're outside. I say you walk down the street and you walk past them. You don't even realize them because maybe they're not attractive to you. Like you don't even see them. But these are everyday guys. These are my friends. I'm sure you have friends like this. And they don't talk about it like, yo, Brian, getting on, but you just know. It's like, I've never seen him with anybody. I wonder one thing too. I don't know what the statistics are on this, but like, I feel like the men who aren't having sex, obviously not all, but I wonder how many of them aren't having sex but would like to be having sex. Whereas I feel like most women, I know my own self, like I'm not intimate with people these days out of choice. Like, I just don't want to, am I right? I don't want to! But it's like, you know, for personal reasons, like I'm kind of, I've kind of walked away from that for a little bit, but I wonder how many of those statistics, those men who aren't having sex, like, is it because they don't want to or like, are they not getting it, you know? They can't. And I think what happens is, and it's hard to not, like I think women look at it as like, we have the same opportunities. It's like, oh, I just don't want to have sex right now. Guys, for the most part, are always trying to have sex and not always trying to just have sex in the world. I'm trying to use a woman. Some guys want relationships, want to actually build with a girl and they just, they might be awkward, it might be whatever it is, it's just, they don't have that. Or they're going dates and the girl's like, oh, okay, this was a fun two dates and they get ghosted. Like, men get ghosted too. I ghosted when I was 12. That's where I learned ghosting from. It's never recovered. Yeah. I'm still bringing it up. I think, okay, and this is, you know, maybe not the topic, but I personally think that men who do not have access to money or stability or security or confidence or conversation skills don't deserve to have sex. It's an evolution thing. You shouldn't, you don't deserve it. You, Well, yeah, I would agree. No one deserves to have someone else's body. I mean, but okay, a man without money. Are you saying broken secure dudes should not have sex? I think that you're, if you're broken insecure, you have bigger issues to fix. You need to focus on that, not think that you are deserving of a partner sexually or long-term. You know what I think we need? We need a part two for this for sure. Content like this is only possible with the support of Squarespace. So big shout out to them for partnering with us for a number of years now. 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I know personally women that have been pillow princesses or tried to be pillow princesses with me and I could just be like, I don't care how good you look. If you don't throw it back, we could just end this right here because I know what I'm about to bring and I don't care if I look good, I'm smelling great, I'm feeling myself. I'm gonna still bring the energy with my physical attraction. I mean, yeah, I've been able to get away with it a lot. But if you're on top of me and I'm stroking your beard and I'm telling you all the things and the energy is just good, you're gonna feel like, damn, she's talking to my soul. I'm just laying there not doing anything so is it really good pussy or is it good pussy experience?