 Okay, welcome back. The last hour we were looking at discipline. We will quickly finish just two points on the same chapter and move into the next one. So even when, you know, what the scripture talks about as parenting certain principles of parenting and what does the Bible instruct parents to do is the importance that the Bible instructs us as parents to bring about children in obedience on the importance of obedience through that discipline through that correction. So Proverbs 2915, it reads correction and discipline are good for children. If they have their own way, they will make their mothers ashamed of them. So while we train, we are also helping to correct to guide them and to bring them to a place of obedience for their own well-being for their own future for the way that they also respond to different things outside in this world. Because as we teach them a place of obedience, they are also open to obeying the Heavenly Father. Another thing we need to teach the children is how to bring about a certain routine or an order or a discipline in their lives, you know, to be able to do things for their own self-care, for their own growth, for their own development, whether it be their academics, whether it be other responsibilities that have been entrusted to them or even things to do outside of themselves, you know, for the home, for others, for the church, a sense of discipline and order is important for children to grow up in. So we need to remember that as we administer discipline, we are also doing what the Heavenly Father requires of us. So it is again a part of representing what the Heavenly Father does because when you look at Hebrews 12, 5 to 11, it talks of how God himself disciplines us. He brings us because he loves us. He disciplines us because he loves us so that we will be in a place of correction, right? So that's the same thing that we also are doing. I'm not going to go through those verses. Some of those verses may be familiar. Children also, it's important for them to understand the concept of authority, that as parents, you have been placed by God. A parent has been placed by God as an authority and it is important for children to submit to that authority or to any kind of structure of authority that God has placed, whether it is in the family or any other setting, that there is a structure of authority and it is important to be obedient or to submit to that authority. So as a parent, God has given us the authority to bring up and nurture the children through this discipline and correction. So it is important for children to be in that place of obedience. So what does obedience do? It protects them as they grow in maturity. So as the children grow, it is important for children to have those rules and those guidances. And it is from that guidance they learn to be independent adults. And obedience to parents becomes the first thing that they are trained in and thereafter they become obedient to God and His word. So obedience to their parents really positions them to be obedient to God and as a result have a blessing over their lives. Last couple of things is how do we deal with foolishness is by imparting wisdom. So foolishness is something that, what does it mean? Where we are not doing things wisely or we are very flippant in the way that we do things. We don't have the right understanding or the right judgment in doing something. We are easily influenced by that what we see. So it is our responsibility as parents to make sure that our children have wisdom and understanding in different areas of life. And they rid themselves of that foolishness so that they walk in the right path making the right decisions. And that again happens when they heed our instruction, you know, when they come to a place of obedience. So a lot of the verses and parables that you see in that section, it's all about how foolishness, you know, being able to get rid of foolishness and how do we do that by imparting wisdom. And some of that is listening wisdom, listening to the parents, being obedient to the parents, being obedient to God and His word is where we move away from that place of foolishness into wisdom. Okay. All right, we'll move on to the next chapter, which is nurturing, nurturing children. And these, these again, some of them are quite practical in nature. So I'm probably just going to skim through some of this so that we don't spend too much of time on maybe some of the details. So you could take time to read some of the practical examples that's been given. So I'm on chapter 15, which is on page 161 in the, in the ebook and 163 in your hard copy. Okay. So nurturing children. So as we had spoken about in the last chapter, parenting is a divine calling. Parenting is a way that how, how we represent the heavenly Father by the love, the unconditional love that we show by being a role model by, by really bringing our children, you know, to the place where God would like them to be. And also as we, as we saw in today's class in discipline. Now, as we nurture children, one of the first aspects that we want to look at is what is the Bible talk? About the instructions for a father as, as he nurtures children. So we'll just look at a couple of verses Genesis 1819. It says, I have chosen him in order that he may command his sons and his descendants to obey me and to do what is right and just. If they do, I will do everything for him that I have promised. So it is showing of the place that a father has in the nurturing and the instruction of his, of his children. So as a man or as a husband, it is important to take the role of a father and God has given the responsibility to, to a parent to a father to instruct the children to obey God and to do what is right before God. So as fathers, you take the stand that as you're serving the Lord, you're also bringing about instructions to the children. So you're as a father, as it is said in Malachi as well as in John, you know, there will come a time when the spirit of Elijah will come to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to their fathers. So when this happens, when the hearts of the fathers are turned to the children, then it positions you for the blessing of God. And that's where relationships and instruction and nurturance, all kinds of builds up. Okay. Well, we need to look at the home as a greenhouse. I'm sure you know what a greenhouse is, you know, greenhouse. If you've gone to, gone to a, you know, these botanical gardens, you'll see some place in that garden, which is, which is, which is skeptic side. It's a controlled and a protective environment where they put certain plants in where they grow and provide. So it is a most controlled environment for those plants to grow in. If it is too much out in the harsh environment, it may die. Or if it is too protected within, you know, indoors, there again, it doesn't develop fully. And that's why it has this greenhouse where the environment is very controlled. It's very protected. So also our homes, each of our homes, whether there are children, it's like a controlled environment of what the life in the kingdom looks like. Where we, where we are encouraging a child in every area of their lives in every place of their development. So, so we create that greenhouse effect where there is sufficient love, there is sufficient hope, there is sufficient firmness, direction, there is peace, there is joy. Allowing the children to grow, to make mistakes, to learn from it, helping them to explore, to really develop themselves so that they can be, you know, before they move out of that home. They are well nurtured in their body, in their spirit as well as in their soul. So you encourage that development in that greenhouse. What else do we do as a parent? It is also to recognize what is the gifting that God has put into their lives. What is it that the inclinations or the passions or the gifts that God has designed in each of them and put into their lives. So what does that mean? Now, every God has made each one of us with a certain gift or a certain calling or a sign or something that he wants us to use for his purpose, for his kingdom. And as a parent, we are called to encourage our children to discover that. And also we take the time to discover what are the giftings in them. At once you have, you know, you have kind of picked that out to support them in that journey of further discovery into newer things. And you know, so I think even as we're doing this, remember that there may be, especially for younger children or maybe into the teens, children may get into multiple things. But then at the point of time, they may leave something and take, they may succeed in some and then they may be, they may lose out on some. Okay, but that's okay. That's all right. It's important to stand with them and guide them into that which you recognize that God has put into them. So to help them develop those skills, bring about opportunities where they can build some of these skills, ensuring that they have the right methods or tools or resources to nurture whatever gifting God has placed in them. Like for example, maybe, you know, that there may be children who are very good at sport or they're very good at art, or they're very good at maybe public speaking. When you do see that there is something that they are gifted with to open opportunities so that they can build on those skills. Because that's exactly what God may use at a later point of time, you know, to move them into their purpose. So really looking out, looking out for those inclinations or those gifting that they may have. Okay, it's also important for us as a parent to ensure that we bring out the best in our children. So the fact that God has designed our children to be powerful like in Psalm 112 verse 2 it says, the good man's children will be powerful in the land, his descendants will be blessed. So they are actually our children are designed by God to be influential, to be powerful, to have impact. And our role is for that is to really, you know, wean that out, to really build that out, to nurture them out into that highest potential that they may have. And how can we do that? One of the ways, some of the ways that we do that is to continue speaking life into their lives, right? Speaking confidence and speaking life into them so that they grow up knowing that they are called for a purpose. To assure them of whatever they have, maybe a certain characteristic trait or a certain skill. You know, to really commend them, to be proud of the things that they do and the initiative that they take in doing certain things, whatever it may be, right? Even maybe something that is, that may not be completely, you know, whatever you see may be spiritual, but it may be they draw well or they speak well or they do a sport well, to commend them and to encourage them to do that. Also helping them to make the right choices and to help them understand what can be wrong choices. And how we do that is we come to that, we come to that point in maybe one or two steps down, okay? But helping them make the right choices and understanding what could be wrong choices. Or coming alongside with them to help them, to direct them, to give them the right kind of advice, to stand by them. And even when they fail, to be able to encourage them to build themselves up and to continue moving on, right? And not seeing failure as something that is totally unacceptable. But to take it on and help them into moving further, right? So all of this can only be done when you really take time to speak to them, taking time to converse with them. You know, just ensuring that you listen. I think it's very important, especially for us as parents, to be able to listen. They are very quick in giving advice. We are not slow to speak, right? We are really quick to speak and slow to listen. But the scripture says just the opposite, right? Be slow to speak and listen well. So listening to them is very important because it shows interest in what's happening in their lives. Because it's only then that you can inspire them or you can bring about wisdom or you can help to build them up. The other thing that we would do as I was talking about, you know, when you're helping children, making choices. One of the things that is a good thing to do is using regular daily moments of your life to teach important lessons on truth or on life or on living life. For, let's say, you know, maybe, so this is something that we used to do with our children is when we were walking on the street, if we did see young people either smoking or, you know, doing something that is bad for their health. That's something we would bring out that is a topic of discussion. You know, I would ask them, what are they seeing? And what do they think about, you know, in such a situation? What would what would they do if they were called by one of their friends to follow the same pattern? Maybe to smoke or what would they do? How would they handle that situation? So these are teachable moments that you can use, you know, to help them to really frame their understanding frame. Their answers, giving hypothetical situations that will help them navigate what they need to do. So as you discuss this, you know, what you're doing is you're also bringing about wisdom into their life and preparing them for what may come. We must understand that our children will not always live in this protected bubble. They will have to explore the world outside, but it is our time right now to equip them to do so. How are they going to do it? How are the pressures? What are the pressures that they're going to face? What are the kind of societal pressures that they will see? What are the kind of current philosophies that they will be hearing? What is their stand on it? Now, all of that happens only through conversations and through actually talking about it. So one important thing that, you know, we talk with our kids is about the current fad and trend about homosexuality, right? And why and what and what they're seeing around. Because you wouldn't believe it because even in schools, it's really glorified, right? When someone makes a decision outside of a God-given decision of, you know, saying to just say that, you know, hey, I'm bi or I'm gay. That in itself is, it seems like a very glorified thing for a child to do. So even in schools right now, children are being so exposed to these kind of things without even having a space to really judge for themselves, to reason for themselves. Usually it is taken because it seems like the right thing to do or it seems like the most, not the right thing. It seems like the most common trend to do. So to actually get into a conversation with them about this really helps. So, you know, having that right discussion at the right time is really, really necessary and it is important. Okay. Alongside with this, what kind of nurturing do you do is, yes, to nurture faith in the children. That is one of the biggest responsibilities we as a parent have, which is to build our children, teach our children about what the Word of God says and what the Word of God shows us, right? So to ensure that it becomes as a part of their daily life. Now, these are instructions that Scripture has given us. If we look at Deuteronomy 6.5-9, and these were some of the things that God commanded the Israelites to do. You know, 6.5-9, it says, love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul and with all your strength. Never forget these commands that I'm giving you today. Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you're at home and when you're away, when you're resting, when you're working. Tie them on the arms and wear them on your foreheads as a reminder. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates. So it says, this is something that you do regularly. It's to be done formally. It's to be done informally. It's to be done in private moments. It's to be done at public spaces. You know, keep doing that so that they are, that they grow in it. So we have to be intentional about how we instruct our children on that. Okay. So it's also, and even as we're doing that, you know, as if you're followed through the sermon last Sunday, it's about speaking the promises of God for your children. And speaking God's word over their lives and, you know, continue to encourage them and also praying for them and continue to encourage them to go through material which can help them build themselves in the faith. Okay. Now, just like we build, help them to teach them about the faith, there are other things we teach them to, about life skills, right? It's also important to help children build their character and their position in what life is going to take them to. And there are certain skills that are necessary that they need for them to be successful in living this life. Okay. No matter whatever occupation they choose or profession they choose, they need to be, they need to have certain values, they need to have certain skills, they need to know how to manage different aspects of their living. Okay. So there is a whole list of life skills that are important for us to consider. And, you know, that is just to name a few that is, there's personal values, learning how skills to learn, anger management, stress management, time management, decision making, effective listening, communication, planning, organizing, negotiation, problem solving, managing the home, managing health, all of this. Now these are all important for us to do, to grow in a world, to live in this real world, to equip them to face the real world. Okay. So that's another thing to teach them about faith, to teach them about life skills. Another huge area of teaching comes when it comes to their sexuality, when it comes to their sexuality, their sexual purity, as well as their lives ahead in relationships with marriage or with dating and with that. So again, now this is probably for you and me as adults now, this is probably not something majority of us learnt or heard or taught from our parents about sexuality and purity and marriage. It's probably, we've got through all sorts of wrong methods by books or by friends or by other sources which have not been, which have not been one accurate. And secondly, it's not been built on the bedrock of values, right? But the best place for children to learn about sexuality is from the home, is from you as a parent. Because they not only understand the biblical view of sexuality and the importance of purity, but they also learn a lot about what it is based on. What values are is managed based on or sexual purity based on. And this is something that you need to do in different ways appropriately, age appropriate right from the beginning. Being able to open up this understanding of sexuality and all right from a younger age and of course it should be done appropriately. You don't talk to us a two or a three year old about puberty and or of marriage. You don't, I mean that two and three right. But what you would probably help in instilling in them is to respect their body parts and respect others, private body parts right. For a two and a three year old, you help them to see that whatever God has made is good, whether it be the hand or their head or their legs or their private parts. All of this was made for honor and there are some parts as scripture says are doubly honored and so we keep them protected, we keep them careful. So those are things that you begin to bring about right from when the child is smaller. Now as they grow up, you build on it. But by the time they come to their preteens, early teens, maybe by 10, 9, 10, 11, it's important to talk to them about pubertal changes. What are the bodily changes that will happen? The kind of physical changes for a boy and physical changes for a girl that helps them to develop themselves into full grown men and women. So what are the physiological changes or the physical changes that will happen? Help them to see what can be emotional changes that could happen. As they become more aware of their, as they develop more sexually, they become more aware of their emotions towards that of the opposite sex. And that it is perfectly okay that they develop those changes, that they may find someone attractive, they find the opposite sex attractive. They may have an idea about what is, you know, about relationships. All of that is a part of developing, part of growing up. So it is okay to have that. It's natural for young teens to have those thoughts, but to really have a parent discuss this over with them becomes extremely useful. Other areas, especially when it comes to sexuality is to bring about an understanding of pornography, of masturbation, of dating, of sexuality. All of these are important to speak about because sometimes children are very confused on what is godly, what is ungodly, what's private, what's public. Although they're hearing so much from the outside, they may be hearing many things in church, but then to be able to discuss something with a person, with a person like a parent, non-judgmentally in a way that brings about information as well as safe instruction is very, very important. So also talking about marriage and, you know, what is it that you expect in a marriage? What happens? What are the expectations you may have? What are the expectations you're looking for? All of that is something that you encourage a discussion with the child. So these are things, these, again, you know, it's not enough for children to be able to see and learn. Yes, I think most of us saw things and we learned, you know, just seeing our parents experience it or hearing from others. But then getting into a conversation and teaching from the word, teaching from personal experience really helps to build, you know, a one-on-one relationship with your children. So teaching them about sex, about purity, about marriage comes from that of a parent. Okay, I'm going to hold here and want to check if you all have any questions. I mean, because usually there's a whole lot of questions that come about when, you know, when we look at how do we nurture children in faith, nurture them in their life skills as well as for important things like sexuality and marriage. Yeah, I'm open for questions or even comments or thoughts. Yes, anybody? So is it okay to watch movies, select some movies and sit with the children and watch like for teenagers, like some, that all movies, they have some content, especially English movies. So is it okay at what time can we sit and watch movies or children? Not the Christian movies, but generally. I know, secular you're saying. So, so Jack in one of the, you know, I think there are certain guidelines on what movies are okay and what movies aren't. So I think that is the first practical thing we look at, you know, there are 13 years, 13, 15, 18 adult, it shows right. So it's best to stay on those because that's when maybe there's a standardized understanding. Nevertheless, keeping that as a general guide. The second thing is, you know, it's the fact is that wherever you go, you may be exposed. The children are exposed to so much. You open the newspaper, especially page three, and I think they can take, you know, times I think, right. You have a whole lot of unwanted pictures, images. You go out on the streets. You'll have billboards. You'll have posters that reveal so much. You have ads. Now, to beat all of that, there are YouTube shots. You know, and sometimes we don't know how much our children may be watching, right. All of this are content that is coming. So even in our minds, we may be trying to say, okay, we'll protect by only doing this much. There may be so many things happening on the outside. Now, I want to go back to that point of using teachable moments. This is a good time. Like maybe when you're watching a movie and something that you see or something comes up in the movie that is not appropriate. It's a good thing. I know as in back in our homes, it was quickly forwarded or to shut down. Right. But that is a good. Yeah, it is a good moment to actually pause. Or, you know, maybe the later point of time come back to a discussion of that and say, okay, I want to discuss what you saw that. Right. I mean, you're not, you're not describing what you saw, but basically you're saying what we're seeing in the movie is a representation of something. Right. And however, it influences us or gives us an idea about what is okay, what is not okay. Right. Maybe it is a, for example, it is a, it is a relationship outside of marriage. Right. And that's what that's the movie that we are seeing and and everyone may be encouraging the person to go on a career or whatever. Right. So it is the it is the influence and the meaning that's coming out of that. Right. So bringing about such a thing for discussion and talking about what, what did you understand? What do you think from, from what you saw? Right. And bringing it back to what, you know, in all of this entertainment that we are seeing, what do you sense God expects of us? Right. Where should our North Pole be? Where should our compass be? And to bring that back to saying that yes, even though we're seeing so many things in the world, we need to understand that there are there are chances this can influence our thinking and our understanding about a certain subject. But we go back to the word and say, this is our guide. This is where we pick all our understanding and all our knowledge from. So more than skipping through each of that, take those moments as an opportunity to teach, to discuss, to bring about an understanding. Because that is what will stick to them more than what they are seeing. That is what's going to stick. So the next time they are exposed to something similar, you know, we have, we have a discussion point or let's say you may be looking at a billboard where, where the person is not completely clothed or is very revealing in their clothing. Now that's the trend right now. Right. So, so asking what meaning does this give? What protection does this offer? What is it that we need to care about? And why is it important for us? So, you know, all of these questions really help to build a better frame or a reference point for the children to go by. Right. So more than, yes, like I said, there's a huge guideline of what you can watch, what you shouldn't watch, stay in those guidelines. But more than that, it is to be able to discuss these things. Jacket I hope that is clear. Yes, yes, because even the advertisements are so bad, you know, these days, they just go overboard. So we don't really know as to sometimes we just can't tell them, you know, don't watch this and watch this. Because as you said, it's, it's just everywhere. Everywhere. Each other moments that you linked in with these things. It's really helpful. Thank you. Okay. Rin has asked a question, what about the demand of phone and other gadgets? Okay. So, Rin, that there are, this is a huge topic, but nevertheless, I'll try as best as possible to crunch it to a few minutes. First and foremost thing is there are age appropriate. There is age related advices that are given for the use of phone and gadgets. So they say that below the age of two, two and a half, there should be no use of gadgets, no use of gadgets at all. And you, and I'm sure all of us have seen little babies, one year olds, one and a half year olds on a phone. And why it is as much damaging is because it affects the brain, brain functioning. It affects brain functioning. When a child is exposed to gadgets at such a young age, then between two and five, it is, not two and five things, three and five, three and six. It's, I think, 15 minutes to half an hour, five and 12. It is, again, half an hour to one hour and 12 and 16. It's one or two hours. So there is a certain limit that is advised. Okay. Now that this belongs to, again, now, even as I'm saying this, and as we are going further and further into our current world and the way that we learn, even as small as four and five year olds, there is a need to go back to a laptop or go back to the system. So it is a necessary thing. And it's a good thing for the use of technology, the use of gadgets sometimes is a good thing. But like all good things, it can also be used for something that is, that can ruin and affect us. So it is for parents, one, to build a structure and to build how they are going to introduce the phone or a gadget, right? And what, what we, and I think that definitely requires discipline. Nevertheless, to help to see, so we need, as children grow up, need to educate them about the pitfalls of, you know, online interactions, online connections, excessive game playing, messages that you get from social media. All of this can happen only through discussions, right? So when you limit something, now, suppose Rin, if I were to tell you, Rin, don't use your phone today. You're going to turn around and say, why not, right? But then if I were to engage in a conversation with you and say, okay, Rin, you know, with all of that you have, how much of time would you want me to spend on your phone? How much of time do you need to spend on reading? How much of time do you need to spend on XYZ? When I'm able to engage with you, you yourself are able to understand that, yeah, okay, that makes sense. And then you take it first, take it to, take it to affect. So similarly, it needs engaging, it needs conversation as well as it needs certain boundaries. So just as much there is good in it, there is also bad in it, like any other thing that you have, right? So we should be careful not to look at it as something that is so bad that is evil that our child should never get no. It is something that's necessary for them to do things. But to have a responsible use, a responsible, accountable use of it happens from a parent's training and also from good monitoring and boundaries that happen, okay? Rin, I know there's too much to talk in that, but I hope you got some nuggets out of it. Yes, Rin? Okay, I'm going to move on. Didn't hear back from you, Rin, but I'm going to move on. Okay, all right. So the other thing that you also do encourage children to do is to move into the calling that they have. Encourage them to do or to follow through with what God has called them to do. Like we said, put in a lot of giftings in them to follow through that, to go through those periods of transition so that they can follow through with what they want. So even as they make those initial decisions, to encourage them to keep going because they may be making certain decisions about their academics or their career and continue to encourage and support them because they will find and they will bring about or they will come to a place of helping to serve God with whatever God's calling them. So encourage them and support them in whatever God has called them. As a parent, you and I are called to leave a spiritual legacy to be able to pass on our faith, pass on God's word, pass on the power of the Holy Spirit into the lives of our children. And as a parent, we continue to do this by praying, by declaring God's word over their lives and by just speaking in ways and imparting this into their lives. The last one is once your work is done, you need to let go. You need to release them into what God has for them. Now, we have the example of Hannah who prayed for a son and who dedicated Samuel back to God to do the work of God. And we do see that even as he was with Eli, there were a lot of other things that was happening with Eli's son. But we know that Samuel was being, despite whatever the influence was there around him, we know that Samuel had a path going forward. As Hannah visited him, dedicated him, came to him, we presume, we suppose that Hannah was continuously praying over Samuel and released him into what God had for him. So there will come a time when we also need to let go of our children, whether they are moving into the world for their studies of marriage or whatever they are, even as they go, we will continue to cover them in prayer to bless them, to encourage them. So even as they move into the next phase of life, one of the important things to do is to speak forgiveness over your children for anything that they may have done or said to you. Not holding on to any form of a hurt or anger or resentment towards your children. Just releasing them and blessing them. And also the other way around is asking for forgiveness for your children for anything that you may have said or done and that they should not be moving out of the home with any form of resentment or hurt towards you. Because when you release healing or you release these kinds of negative thoughts, you are also cancelling any negative things that you would have said or you have spoken and you are releasing them with the blessing that God would have over their life. So just coming to a place of seeking forgiveness from them, granting forgiveness and releasing them into God's hands into what they are called to do. Alright. Any thoughts? Any responses? So next week we will complete our, because we just have two more chapters to do. By next week we will complete our class and I will post the second assessment before our next class. So the last two chapters will not be included. That is chapter 18 and 19 won't be included. Apart from that, all the rest will be included for your assessment. So you will have time to complete that. So I will post it before our next class so that you have enough time to complete that. So next week would be our last class for this course. Okay. If you don't have anything, let's just close with a word of prayer. May I request one of you all to please close in prayer. Anybody? Jack in, would you please close in prayer? Your first time. Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord for all that you have taught us from your word Father God. Father help each of us Lord God to love you with all our heart, soul and room Lord God. And also Lord many of us here Lord, we do not have children yet Lord, but Father have sown the seed within us Lord God to bring out a godly generation Father God. That's your desire Lord and that is your command and you love us so much Father and you love our children as well Father God. Father we pray and we commit each and every child Lord God Father to grow in you and love you and hold on to your word more than anything else Father God. And also as parents Lord whatever that you have taught us to do help us to follow diligently Lord God obeying your word and also whatever that you placed in our hearts Lord bring it to you Lord and not follow our own desires Lord and place it at the center of your will. Help us to be healed up through your spirit Father God. In Jesus mighty matchless name be pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you all. Thank you so much. We'll meet you all next week. God bless. Thank you.