 Here's a question. I've been pondering lately. Why do women get blamed for men's actions? I Don't know actually. I do know I was watching a video. I was watching several videos this morning One in particular by a preacher that was basically blaming women for the problems in Relationships today and marriages and today why there's such discourse. Why do women initiate the divorces? Why are women making it uncomfortable for men and I'm just listening to this rhetoric and this is a preacher, you know Speaking to his congregation. I'm like How was just wrong? It was just wrong and then I watch video after video from men Who basically it's videos from men for men basically complaining about the dating marketplace stating that 80% of women are only going after 20% of men and that women have all the options and I'm listening to this I'm thinking well the math doesn't work out if 80% of women want 20% of men that means 60% of women aren't getting anything So how is that benefiting them? And I understand that the rhetoric is basically the problem is women only wanting 20% of the men But men are just as bad as well And I don't even like even saying the word bad I don't like the fact that there's such a divide between the sexes these days That's causing a big rift as to why there's so much contention in relationships today without looking at the root cause Now let me just say this I believe that the preacher was speaking to the younger generation Although and basically saying that women are such in their masculine that it either Emasculate men or it makes them less approachable to men and because women have to fend for themselves Then for themselves. Well, maybe part of that problem is is because couples aren't working in unison men aren't working in unison with women And women have to be empowered Because they can't count on men anymore, maybe that's part of the problem Why isn't that being discussed in the male population that men can't be counted on that men only care about their biological needs to spread their seed And nowadays it's just more easier to have sex And so the as I've said in previous women women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment So men can get all the sex for free because is it is that the problem because women are giving it up too soon and men can't make commitment. I Mean, these are some questions that I think need to be discussed because I don't believe blaming Either gender either sex is going to help in this narrative of building healthier happier relationships And part of the reason why I beat the drum beat the drum beat the drum over and over again about reading the books I recommend about Looking at this from a different perspective because I got to tell you women also blame men for the problem They blame men and there's rightfully so and maybe there's rightfully so on the other side Maybe that's part of the problem is everybody is blaming one another instead of operating from a different perspective from a human perspective What does my t-shirt say human kind be both from a loving compassionate perspective? Here's the problem Most human beings are ridiculously dysfunctional in their relationship skills Most human beings are ridiculously dysfunctional in their emotional maturity Maybe that's the piece that we should be talking about instead of blaming the genders for their actions today Maybe it'd be best to look at the root cause of some of this Now there's been suggested that there's been a feminization of boys That's causing the problem that boys aren't turning into men and that there's this Masculation of women or girls so they turn into be harder people as they adults I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know it Because I'm not raising children right now But I certainly believe one of the benefits of being connected with our heart especially for boys to be more connected to their heart is That they can actually show up as better human beings in romantic relationship. I look at my son Now he wasn't you know, I didn't raise him to be a warrior I didn't raise him to go fight in wars because thankfully we don't need that I didn't raise him how to use tools in his life because thankfully we don't necessarily need that But what I do believe I did with him is Help raise an emotionally mature person that has the skills the communication skills to actually lean into life Let me tell you how I did that a couple things was I recommended that he do debate class So he can learn public speaking skills I encouraged him to do speech so he can do public speaking skills I encouraged him to do writing so he can tap into his feelings more so because one of things about being a writer is you have to Emote Feelings as part of the dynamic of being able to tell a story There were a couple things I encouraged him to and I also encouraged him to do a lot of male Boy-oriented things as well, but my point is I'm not here patting myself on the back My only point here is It's important to Recognize that we have to cultivate the emotional side of our lives. We I'm really here I'm gonna pull out a chart here to illustrate this if I still have it There with me a second Yeah, the four pillars of connection the four pillars of connection. I just want to show you this chart Okay mind body Spirit and emotions Mind but we always hear, you know Mind-body spirit, but we have to work on cultivating the emotions of a human being and it starts by healing our Childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas to be able to cultivate the emotional parts of our relationship This is why I continually recommend the book Recommend the book the Hoffman process the Hoffman process. This does a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas Childhood wounds of traumas so we can actually show up from a more Conscious loving place because if we're blaming men if we're blaming women if we're doing this There's no real benefit because you're going in opposite directions What we should more likely be encouraging For human beings is to operate from the four agreements if you're not familiar with the book the four agreements I highly recommend this reading this book if you've never seen this before you never heard about it Highly recommend reading this book the four agreements are Be impeccable with your word always do your best Never make assumptions and people's opinion of you is just might merely be their projection of you You can operate from those four places. You have a greater chance And I'm here to encourage men and women alike to operate from this place because the problem today is there's so much blame Going on instead of taking personal responsibility of one choices instead of leaning into our sovereignty our self-worth our Self-esteem our self-confidence and more importantly our self-love and yes I'm going to make a plug for my book by the way that all the books I recommend are listed below my book is called what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work I'm here to encourage this because sadly today We're not operating from an empowered place because guess what this little device has all our power These days this little device has control over human beings in such a way And what I mean to say is we're more Invested in this instead of invested in this instead of investing in our emotional I'll be I believe the average person spends between two to three hours a day in a minima staring at their phone Could you imagine what that time could be used for in a different way could be used to maybe heal your heart? Maybe learn to learn better communication skills now by the way if you're watching YouTube I'm fully endorsing that because what a great place to get how to Information in one's life and if you're using your device, that's okay, but I'm here to encourage personal development work self-help work spiritual work Because when you operate from that place of sovereignty of self-worth the self-esteem and self-confidence You no longer blaming the opposite sex and men won't have to blame the opposite sex as well We we have so many human beings blaming one another. This is why by the way, why do I encourage women to be in their power? Because so I think through millennia Women have given their power away to men and that's one of the reasons why women are standing up in such a different way today Because you can't be dependent on a bunch of man boys Not just for survival perspective, but for really connecting with one's heart This is why I continually recommend the book Why men love bitches? Let me read it over here. Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes, I Recommend this book because you step into your empowerment and not being dependent upon men for your emotional survival But a lot of guys complain because you know why guys are complaining Because they want Servants in their home. They want basically that tradition a lot of guys I'm not saying most men guys like myself don't want that whatsoever But they want that subservient woman that's gonna cater to every need But that woman who caters to every need and that guy changes her mind. She's out the window Sorry, I don't mean that literally but out the door so to speak Why would you want to give why do you want to create? Dependency on somebody else because you guess what at the end of the day we only have ourselves to depend on This is why there's another book I want to recommend today That's daring greatly by Brene Brown. I haven't talked about this book in a while Why do I recommend this book because it's it's about empowerment? It's about stepping into your power So we don't have to either blame Anyone in our lives and we step into power and guess what happens when you step in your power You actually become a magnetic attractor for what you want in your life You actually when when you're in in the place of empowerment of yourself you begin to attract other empowered people in your life And I invite you to share this or maybe even say this prayer God universe spirit. I step into my power I step into my sovereignty my self-worth and self-esteem so I can attract in a partner whom we share mutual chemistry with one another And we have excellent communication skills with one another and we can actually blend our lives together And we share the type of values that we want to push forward to and to co-create a relationship And we can build the deep roots of trust the deep roots of trust that allow us to have one of those Relationships where we're a true power couple and we can step into something more glorious like a juicy delicious healthy happy relationship God universe spirit. I invite that in One of the reasons why I started my private coaching practice. I did it too because I believe women have the power To actually connect a man to his heart. I do believe that it is through women that we actually connect to our heart This is why I'm encouraging empowerment to take in charge of your relationship destiny instead of giving it up to the man I'm here to say you are the emotional leaders in the relationship And if that quadrennity of that quadrennity that I shared a moment ago mind body spirit emotions You have the capacity to open us up to this. How do you do it? I'm here to say By not following doctrine what you just simply sit back in your feminine energy and that's gonna work It's gonna have worked through radical honesty by laying your cards on the table and reading books I didn't bring it out today emotional intimacy by Robert Masters emotional And by the way, there's a link to all the books I recommend By the way, if you want to schedule a discovery book call There's a link there as well in the description if you like this video, please like this video Please subscribe to my channel as well I'm here to suggest the following to cultivate Intimacy which I didn't coin this term but intimacy into me you see to really be able to see another human being it requires Self-reflection it requires a true introspective person to be able to see another person and yet today all we're doing is pointing the finger because we don't Look in the mirror ourselves Many cases thankfully many of you are I'm so grateful for many of you We're actually looking in the mirror and saying how can I improve my life from the inside out? instead of blaming genders or sexes How can I be empowered? How can I start saying? Fact one of the phrases I say in my private group called midlife love mastery by the way There's a link below to that as I often talk about it's raining good man. It's raining great man It's raining great people in our lives and when we start to invite that into our lives We start to cultivate better human beings in our lives And we actually repel those people that aren't really aligned to who we are and what we want It saddens me to watch videos That blame women it saddens me to watch videos that blame men I'm here to encourage looking in the mirror and saying how can I grow from the inside out? That's the invitation. I want to invite for everyone instead of the blame game So I want to wrap up with this one last thought most of you human beings human human, I should say human beings Have very little understanding of how to really mate today And that's why I want to encourage the work of Esther Perrell It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I want to just to understand this this is a great book called mating and Captivity to understand some of the challenges we face today because when we can operate from a place of understanding We can predict behavior When we can start to predict behavior, we can start making better choices in our lives I'm here to encourage more intentional dating To operate from a place of radical honesty by laying your cards on the table by being introspective because ultimately Don't you want a relationship with somebody that you just like? Just like being with them. I'm here to say it starts by being that person. That's likable as well And when you're likable You attract in someone else that's likable because hopefully We can stop operating from the blame game. We can begin to attract really healthy happy partners in our life Is this sinking and is this resonating? Please let me know post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this Alright, I think I'm gonna wrap up this video a little earlier than I usually do on my weekend videos By the way for those that recognize that there's a different demeanor when I shoot the videos out on my balcony I'm not in my hyper, you know Vigilant mode of pontificating which you're using expletives to enhance a sentence. This is my calmer videos I call them Jonathan from the heart by the way, that's one of my that's my playlist here So I hope you get some understanding of what I do a little bit differently when I shoot out on my balcony Plus, I don't want to piss off my neighbors as well All right, I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off give myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear a good self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone I've had a teddy bear pillow. Here's a teddy bear And give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it We could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye. Bye