 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Anne Southern, Lou Wehr's, Moreno Sullivan, and Henry Stevenson in Maisie was a Lady. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Once upon a time, there was a picture called Maisie. Not a million-dollar production, just one of modest pretensions hoping for a modest success. But Maisie was played by a clever young actress named Anne Southern. And so the modest success became a pot of gold, and everybody lived happily ever after, especially Maisie, who became the heroine of four more pictures and is still going strong. All of which go to show that you can't keep a smart girl down. One of the most popular of all the Maisies, that's the studio name for them over at Metro Golden Mayor, is the comedy Maisie was a Lady, and that's the play we've selected to salute this remarkable young lady's debut in the Lux Radio Theatre tonight. And our cast is the same group of stars who made the picture. Anne Southern is Maisie, of course, Lou Wehr's, and Moreno Sullivan. And with them, we have Henry Stevenson. Maisie herself is a chorus girl, but a bit more versatile than the average. In the beginning of tonight's play, for instance, she has a temporary connection with the circus. Where she gives a sterling performance as the headless woman. It's an hard way to begin an adventure with the upper crust of society, but that's Maisie for you. For about two years, letters have been piling up, asking for one of these stories, until the stack finally reached the height where it said, get Maisie or else. That many good customers for lux toilet soap can't be wrong. For some reason or other, many of your letters begin, I suppose this will go into somebody's wastebasket, but here's a suggestion anyway. I can assure you that every one of your letters is red, and any suggestion you make gets full consideration. One look at my letter files would convince you. In fact, it'd probably stagger you if you had to move one of them. We have a complete record of everything you've told me about this theater and our product, since we went on the air. I couldn't begin to tell you all the good things you've said about lux toilet soap, but I don't need to because it speaks for itself. And so does Maisie. The curtain rises now in the first act of Maisie was a lady, starring Anne Southern as Maisie, Lou Ayers as Bob, Maureen O'Sullivan as Abbey, and Henry Stephenson as Walpole. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, step right up. The line forms on the right as we present the greatest sideshow attraction in Hudkins Three Ring Circus. Marva, the headless woman. Marva, she has no head, folks, but Marva lives and breathes like you and me. Yes, folks, on the inside is Marva, and on the inside is Dr. Willis, the famous scientist who explains this strange phenomenon. Don't delay, folks, don't delay. See Marva, the wonder of the age. Marva, the headless. Headless? I don't believe it. Just step right up, folks, step right up. Before your eyes is Marva herself. Marva is the first woman in history to lose her head and ever know the difference. Notice that her hands can move, her feet can wiggle, and yet from the neck up, she is pure thin air. That's amazing. No head. No head whatsoever. Don't get too close, buddy. Just stand back a little please. Oh, woman, I got no head, see. I'm explaining that phenomenon, buddy. Now, folks. That's amazing. No head. How's she breathing? Listen, buddy, if you're looking for a bar, there's a nice little place just off the midway. Notice, folks, that Marva is a living, breathing... Well, I can't understand her. No head. Is she ticklish? Well, you shut up. Is Marva ticklish? I just... Yeah, yeah, put down that cane. Scientific experiment, does she laugh when she's ticklish? Marva cannot see or hear or laugh. Now, feed it. Gotta find out. Tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. Cut it out. Shut up, you dumb game. Well, some don't just poke me in the ribs. Hey, she's ticklish all right. Ladies and gentlemen, please listen. Who did it? Are you the guy who poked me in the ribs? What do you mean? My name is... I had a poke you right in the nose. Shut up. Let me at him out. This woman, will you please shut up? Dr. B, why'd you have to squawk anyway? Well, I couldn't help it, Doc. This was the best he had back in the outfit. Two bits are taken, turning him away. Gee, Doc, I'm awful sorry, but it won't hurt business none in the next town. He was tickling me, and I guess I was kind of jumpy. You know my first days working so long. You can understand how it was. Doc, Doc, where are you? Here, boys, in here. What happened? Did this damn ball up the ankle? I'll say she did. Come here, you. Oh, let go of my arm. Now, them robes really took me apart out there until I give them back their two bits. You're hurting my arm. Now, get your stuff and get out before I break something over your conch. Okay, I get the idea. Just don't try to back it up with any strong arm display, buddy. I got quite a technique in the clenches myself. Well, who settles up with me? I got $3.55 coming, and the train fare back to New York. On your way, sister. Beat it. Oh, look, forget the train fare, but I gotta have my pay. Gee, this leaves me in an awful jam. Oh, come on, have a heart. Go on, Scram. Have a heart. That's a laugh. There isn't enough heart between the two of you to decorate a valentine in the head of a pin. Go ahead, leave me flat broken strand to take my $3.55 and go out and buy yourselves a couple of drinks. But as long as I'm buying them, do me a favor. Be sure they're good and strong and poured out of a bottle. Oh, so it's you again. What are you doing around here? I am temporarily lost. I, uh... Well, if it isn't the headless beauty. It isn't any more thanks to you and your swell sense of humor. That little joke of yours cost me my job. My child, those who scoff at science are destined to fail. Oh, yeah? Well, how would you like a good swift kick in the pants? No, no, no. Please, control yourself. Let go. Let me go. Oh, no, no, no, no. Let's let bygones be bygones. Come on, have a little drink with me and we'll talk this thing over. Thanks all the same. Maybe life's a jolly Fourth of July picnic to you, but it certainly isn't to me. You canceled out my meal ticket. This is the middle of the night, and I've got exactly two dimes in 45 miles between me and New York. Well, what are you going to do about it? You want to get back to the city? Well, that's easy. I'll take you. How? Picky bag? No, no, no, no. In my car. Come on. What is that? In a word, no. I don't have to see a newspaper picture of the accident to know how I'd look sprinkled all over the highway. Well, what's the next idea? I know. You take my car. Sure, you take my car and I go home in a cab. Then nobody gets sprinkled around. Is that offer on the level? Certainly. Now, here, here's the ticket. This is a convertible coupé. Wait a minute. That's not your car over there, is it? That's long thing? That's it. Boy, that's some buggy. Well, what do I do with it when I get back to the city? Just drop it off at the Carlton. The Carlton Hotel? Gee, you must be filthy rich, mister. Well, let us just say I am rich. Okay. So long. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Kiss me goodbye, my sweet, for we shall never see each other again. Oh, yes we will, honey. I got a bad habit of looking at the dummies in department store windows. Evening, officer. Hi, ya, sister. Kinda new to this neighborhood, aren't ya? Brand new. This is my first visit, and I'm on my way out. You're from Brooklyn, ain't ya? Yep, Pag did. South Brooklyn. Friend of Ralston's? Ralston? Uh-uh. Never heard of him, except maybe the hutsuts. What street did they live on? Don't get gay, lady. Let's see your license. What license? Your driver's license. Trot it out. Hey, what's the idea? I was only doing 25. And over your driver's license. Well, um, I would if I had one. Where'd you get this car? I borrowed it. Is that a crime? Oh, you borrowed it. Who from? The fellow that owns it. Well, at least he said it was his. What's his name? Well, I don't know. We weren't formally introduced. And what's your name, sister? I go by Maisie Rivier, but my right name's Mary Anna, Stacia O'Connor. Oh, Nellie, yes. Oh, Cartes, he's getting better looking every day. You didn't pick yourself any cheap job, either. One of the Ralston's cars. Every cop on the pike between here and Montauk knows the Ralston's cars. So come on with me. Oh, look, now you got this all wrong. You can tell it to the judge in the morning. Let's go. Am I to understand that I'm under arrest? Yeah, come on. You know, there was a pinhead working the carnival with me. Funny, he never mentioned having a son on the police force. Well, I guess he had his pride same as anybody. Harder. Harder here. Now, young lady, according to the owner of the car, he has no recollection of lending said vehicle to you. Well, according to me, I don't care what he says. Remains silent until the court questions you. Say, is this a free country where a girl's got a right to ask a few questions on her own hook? Or has everything taken a turn for the worst since last night? Certainly this is a free country. Then I'd like to know. Between me standing here and telling you I've never stole so much as a hairpin in all my life. And a guy so busy nursing a hangover, he don't even know whether it's Thursday or rain, and whose words you're going to take mine or his? Mr. Ralston has already stated that he did not care to bring charges. Well, I call that bigger, Mr. Ralston. As to the other charges, driving without a license, resisting an officer, using abusive language and vagrancy. Who's using abusive language now? There's limits to what a girl can take. That's not fair. But isn't it true that you're without funds and address or present employment? Listen, Judge, I had a job with the Hutkins Brothers Carnival. It was to last for two months at $25 a week. I lost that job through no fault of mine. But if you make me pay more on top of what I already paid for what was this Ralston guy's fault, every bit of it you won't be handing out justice. Oh, Your Honor. Yes, Mr. Ralston. Your Honor, when they first questioned me about my car, things were a little hazy in my mind. In fact, I remembered almost nothing last night. But since listening to Miss... Revere! Thank you. To Miss Revere and all the evidence, I can remember enough now to feel sure that what she says is probably true. I'm terribly sorry if I was responsible, and I hope Miss Revere will accept my apologies. Apologies. It's high time you realized that your adolescent behavior is a source of annoyance to every self-respecting citizen in this community. This last escopade has had very serious consequences, and I hold you directly responsible for this young woman's predicament. Therefore, this court orders you to attempt to make amends by reimbursing her immediately with the sum she would have earned in gainful employment. Oh, no, not me. Thanks all the same, but I don't take money from anybody, not unless I earn it. Very well. Mr. Ralston, you will employ Miss Revere for two months at $25 per week, in a job that is congenial to her. But, Your Honor, you know I haven't any employment to offer. I haven't any business. You will make it your business to give her employment according to the orders of this court. All charges dismissed. Case closed. Gee. Gee, Judge, you turned out to be a human after all. Thanks, Judgey. Would you mind telling me where we're going? Not at all. I'm taking you home. Whose home? My home. Uh-oh. Maybe this whole thing wasn't such a hot idea. He said you had to give me a job. That's what I'm going to do. But I'm not in any business, so all I can do is find something for you out at the house. What, for instance? To be perfectly frank, I don't know. But I lost you your job and I'm sincerely sorry about it. So it's up to me to find something. What about fixing flowers? For $25 a week? Listen, they're in that door. I ought to groan for you and bring my own bees. Look, you and your folks eat at home, don't you? Sure, sometimes. Well, then couldn't you use someone extra to put it on the table and wash up? I'd be okay at that. I'm cleaning them quick. Well, of course. If you don't mind doing some kind of housework, I just didn't like to suggest it. What's the matter with housework? Not a thing. I only thought, you know. Well, being in theatrical work most of your life... Listen, you do my kind of theatrical work because you're hungry and I mean for meat and potatoes, not for glory. Okay, mister, you got a new maid. Wow. Say, you know something? What? It's hard to believe. What is? The change in you since yesterday. Are you really this nice or are you afraid of the judge? Well, I'm not afraid of the judge. What were you celebrating last night? Christmas Eve. Uh-oh. When you begin playing Santa Claus, the end of June, you're in a bad way, mister. Yeah, I guess you are, I think. Oh, good morning, Mr. Roberts. Morning, Walpole. Sorry, I forgot my key. Yes, sir. Good morning, Miss... Hello. This is Mr. Revere, Walpole. How are you, Walpole? I'm glad to meet you. Thank you. How do you do, Miss... Revere. But you can just call me Maisie. I'd feel at home if you both would. Will you call yourself Mr. Alston, Bob? That's right. Walpole, Miss... That is, Maisie is stopping with us for two months. Yes, Mr. Roberts. At the salary of $25 a week. Yes, Mr. Roberts. Look, maybe you better tell him I'm the new Maisie's getting funny ideas. Yeah, yeah, of course. Maisie's our new maid, Walpole. Find something good for her, will you? Oh, anything you got open will do fine. I did a walk-on as a maid in the show once, so I'll know how to act, even if the routine will be kind of new at first. You are a theatrical personage, Miss. Well, I've been in show business most of my life. Maisie, Walpole will take care of everything, so with you, excuse me. Oh, certainly, Bob. Go right ahead. I'll be seeing you around later. Sure, sure, of course. Follow me, Miss. You bet. Boy, some joint you got here. Joint, Miss? Yeah. Yeah, the lobby of Radio City's got nothing on this. Say, uh, does Bob live here all alone? Miss Maisie, you mustn't... Oh, you mean he's married? Oh, mercy me, no. Oh, well, go on. Mr. Robert lives here with his father and Miss Abigail, his sister. Only three people in all this space. How do they find their way around? Drop pebbles? Yes? Reporting for duty, Mr. Walpole, how do I look in a maid's outfit? Good heavens. Say, your kind of pale is anything wrong? Oh, dear me, the earrings of all the jewelry, it just is not worn when one is in uniform. Oh. Well, I'll peel it off if that's the case, but I must say I'm going to look kind of undressed. And your shoes, your toes, your toes are protruding. Haven't you got a more conservative pair? Well, if you mean have I got any ground grippers, no. It's these are my wedges, and they got the toes in, but the heels out. Wedges, no, no, no, no. Oh, well, those you are wearing, by all means. Please don't misinterpret my criticism. It's only that we must be most discreet, now of all times. Why now? Anything going on? Great deal. We have a house full of guests. Oh, I didn't see any company. No, they're being served breakfast at the swimming pool, and more guests are arriving tomorrow for the engagement dinner. Oh. So Bob's engaged. Mr. Robert? Oh, no, no, no. It's not Mr. Robert. It's Miss Abigail whose engagement will be announced. Oh, that's nice. Oh, that's Miss Abigail. I must go at once. Excuse me. Hey, hey, what about me? I'm supposed to be working here. Oh, yes. Take that bowl of flowers upstairs to the console table in the west corridor of the south wing. You got a map? Oh, and use the back stairs, of course. Are you sure you'll be all right? Oh, don't you worry, you're a cute little head about me. I'll see you around, Wally. Morning, Miss Abby. Good morning, Walpole. Oh, isn't this the most beautiful day? Indeed, it is, Miss Abby. I rang for you because I was wondering. I haven't heard from Father yet and I thought perhaps the telegram might have come that was overlooked in all the excitement. No, Miss Abby, no telegram has come. Oh, I see. But I feel certain your father will be coming after all at dinner party announcing the engagement of his daughter that that is indeed the most important occasion, Miss Abby. Of course. It's silly of me to worry, isn't it, Walpole? Have you seen Mr. Phillips? Mr. Phillips had breakfast in his room. I believe he wished to wait until you were ready before going down to the pool. Oh, I didn't know he was waiting. I'll find him. Thank you, Walpole. Not at all, Miss Abby. Good morning. Oh, Mr.... could you please tell me which is the camisole table? The camisole table? Well, now I'll tell you. The console table is that one over there. Oh, thanks, bud. You don't know your way around very well, do you, Peggy? I know my way all around and the name is not Peggy, Charlie. The name isn't Charlie either. It's Phillips, Link Phillips. I'm a guest here. That's nice. Goodbye. Oh, wait a minute. What are you made up for? You're an old maid. What is this, a rib of some kind? Yeah, a county judge down at Bell Harbor. He's very comical. Keep you in stitches. A judge? I don't get it. Well, pardon my frankness, but I don't care if you get it or not. Out of my way, brother. Don't go. Just as precious you're cute, aren't you? We used to have a saying on our block. I'd rather be fresh than stale. We girls used to say that to nasty little boys. It's a corny old crack, but it's still good enough. Link. Oh, Link. Coming, darling. We'll spar a couple of more rounds later. Goodbye. So long. Hello, Link. It was sweet of you to wait for me. Why, never mind waiting, Abby, if it's for you. What? No kiss this morning? Of course, darling. How's that? Wonderful. Come on. Well, everybody to his own taste said the old lady as she kissed the cow. In just a few minutes, Mr. DeMille and our stars, Anne Southern, Luares, Marina Sullivan and Henry Stevenson, will return in act two of Maisie was a lady. And now, here's a young couple leaving a football game on a windy November day. It's so blustery. Oh, Jim, something just blew into my eye. Oh, it hurts. Let me get my handkerchief, Jane. Now, still a minute. Yep, there it is, a big black speck. There, I've got it. Not bad on first aid, huh? Gosh, but your skin's smooth. Say, don't you think the doctor rates a kiss, maybe? Who could blame Jim? It's true, there's something completely irresistible about a smooth, really lovely complexion. And Jane's one of those girls whose skin can pass the close-up test. Skin so appealing and flower-fresh that when another's eyes come close, why, they just can't help but admire. You want skin that's lovely to look at? Soft to touch? Why not let Hollywood's famous beauty soap help you to have it? Fine, white, luxe-toilet soap has active lather that removes every trace of dust, dirt, and stale cosmetics. Rich, creamy lather that leaves skin feeling petal smooth. Here in Hollywood, nine out of ten famous screen stars use luxe-toilet soap as a complexion care. They know they can depend on its mildness, its purity. Here's what lovely Rita Hayworth says. A screen star has to have soft, smooth skin. I always use luxe-toilet soap because the right complexion care is important. Yes, and it's mighty important what soap you use for your own precious complexion. You want a soap that's really gentle and mild, a soap whose creamy lather leaves skin feeling soft, looking lovely enough to pass the close-up test. That's why every woman ought to try luxe-toilet soap. Why not get three cakes of this smooth, white soap tomorrow? Use it regularly for 30 days. It's a safe bet you'll make the beauty soap of the stars your daily complexion care, too. Now, our producer, Mr. DeMille. Act two of Maisie was a lady, starting Anne Southern as Maisie, Lou Ayres as Bob, Moreno Sullivan as Abby, and Henry Stevenson as Walpole. Maisie, the former headless woman, is really losing her head as a housemaid. For the guests at the swimming pool have caught sight of her in her earrings and open-toed shoes, and they're impolite enough to laugh. With murder in her eye, Maisie curls her lip and scorn, and then storms back into the house. That gang of nitwits, who do they think they are? Maisie, you should have removed those things. What things? The jewelry. You must take it off. Listen, for two cents, I take off the whole outfit and sit out the summer in Central Park. How long have you been serving time here, Walpole? I've been the Ralston Butler for 30 years. 30 years? Boy, have you taken your beating like a man. Say, who are those assorted nuts out of the pool anyway? Maisie, those young people are Miss Abby's guests. They're her friends. You mustn't speak disrespectfully of them. Listen, Walpole, I've spent my last 20 years learning how to spot phonies, so when the label reads imitation, I'll not say so out loud. You don't like them, do you? Shh, please, please. Oh, Miss Abby. Your name is Maisie, isn't it? That's right, ma'am. This is Miss Ralston, Miss Abby Gale. Oh, you're his sister, ma'am. Yes, my brother told me how you happened to be here. Yes, ma'am. Bob was to see that you had employment for two months at $25 a week. Wasn't that the arrangement? And I had it coming to me after what he put me through, and that was a judge's idea, too. That's very right, but really, I can't expect you to do this sort of work. It isn't fair to you or to my guests. So perhaps we can solve everything by paying you now in advance, and that will leave you free to find something more suitable. Why don't you come right out and play in English and say you want me out of here? I told your brother it was a job or no dice. That happens to be the way I operate, ladies, strange as it sounds, and when I put on this outfit, all I expected was $25 a week and halfway decent treatment and return for doing my best. But if that isn't good enough for you, just say so. I'll go with exactly what I brought here. Two dimes of suitcase and a talent for picking the jinks. Oh, please, I only suggested the money because I thought you'd be happier having it that way. I bet. You came hot-footed up here from the pool, all worked up about making me happy. You came up here to pay off nature's mistakes so your guests wouldn't be embarrassed looking at her. Oh, no, please. Oh, don't feel that way. Yeah, well, maybe I don't know the ins and outs of being a maid, but that crowd of yours wouldn't be held over for a second week in some spots I've played. If they were rude to you, if we were rude to you, I'm sorry. Ah, skip it. Looking back on it, I didn't behave so hot myself down there just now with you, but your brother lost me a job yesterday. Today he's very swollen, very sorry, and I thought this job would be okay. Now it's curdled on me. You can't blame me for being burned up. No, I don't blame you a bit, Maisie. I'd be burnt up myself. Only please don't go. I know just how you feel about not wanting to take the money without working for it. Really, I do. Well, maybe you do it there. But in eight weeks I'd tangle with one of those goldfish down by the pool just as sure as fate. They'd give me that, well, darling, she's too, too laughable, I mean, really, and I'd give them a right cross. Oh, Maisie, I'm sure that won't happen again. Look, here's an idea. Nora's been taking care of me. She's my personal maid, but she's very busy with the house so full. Wouldn't you try that job? Well, uh, being your personal dresser, you mean? Oh, yes. I'm sure you'd find it pleasant. Well, I might give it a trial. Okay, Miss Abigail, it's a deal. Hi, everyone. Good night, Link. Sleep well. Good night, darling. Link, do you really think Father will come? Abby, I'm beginning to feel a bit jealous of Cap. After all, he is your father, but I don't want anyone on your mind but me. Oh, there won't be ever. Good night. Night, sweet. Hello, Miss Abigail. Fine, Maisie, I didn't expect you to wait up for me. Oh, that's perfectly okay. It's part of the job and I made up my mind not to miss a cue, Miss Abigail. Oh, that's very kind of you, Maisie. Only, please, just call me Miss Abby, will you? Sure, Miss Abby. You know, I've always hated the sound of my name ever since my first boarding school. Yeah? The girls used to have a rhyme. They'd tease me with pigtail, Abigail, funny face, but lots of kale. Can you imagine a silly little rhyme like that making me hate my name? Well, I guess I've still got that funny face. Ah, go on. I remember when the South Brooklyn punks used to try out of me when I was a kid. Bed, slat, brick, bat, Mary O'Connor's a pole cat. That's my real name, Mary Anastacia O'Connor, after my mother's favorite sister. Oh, I see. And did the rhyme hurt your feelings? Ah, not mine. I was a pretty good amateur rock thrower in those days. I had to be. You see, I am speaking a rock. Now, don't tell me this stuff is all the real thing. What stuff? Well, those jewels and your vanity. Are they the McCoy? Well, they're diamonds, if that's what you mean. Presents from my father. Oh, all of them? Yes. You see, he's had to be a whaler, Lars, and he's always so sorry when he can't be here for special occasions. You mean every time it's your birthday or something like that, and he can't make it, he sends you one of those? That's right. Gee, I'd certainly have a lot of special occasions, and from the looks of it, he must have missed a lot of them. What does he do? He can't be a traveling salesman. Oh, no. Father's very popular. He plays a wonderful game of golf, and he loves to hunt and sail. He's... all capillies are very exciting, busy life. Yeah, sounds busy. Would you like to take another bath tonight? No, I won't, Father. Good night, Maisie, and thank you for waiting up for me. Good night, Miss Abby. See you in the AM. Oh, well. Hey, Bob. Bob, take it easy. It's late. Who is that, Maisie? Well, of all the people I could have met, the only one I wanted to meet, I met. Hiya. Hiya. Well, what are you celebrating tonight? Groundhog Day? No, no, no, no. Christmas Eve, I'm loyal to Christmas Eve. Say, it isn't always Christmas Eve with you, is it? No, just almost always. Maisie, will you forgive my presuming on a brief acquaintance? Well, I don't know. That depends on what counts as presuming around here. Well, I would like to venture the remark that you strike me as an ideal companion for Christmas Eve. Mm-hmm. That is my reasoned conclusion, and I stand by it. Yes, sir. Good company. Fun. Thanks. I wish you'd said that sober pal, but thanks all the same. Now, let me take it a step further. You would also be a charming companion at a roller deck. A midget otter, eh, sir, make of us. And, though it would cause no end of consternation, though limousines would rear and larnettes would crash to the floor, you would grace my arm in the diamond horseshoe at the opening of the opera. Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, would we have fun. Oh, I get it. That little green man is here again. In the words of George, no, Gordon, Lord Byron, there be none of beauty's daughters with a magic like thee. In the words of Maisie, Lady Revere, get yourself a new stooge. I'm going to bed. Oh, no, no, no, the night is young. Though we might stink, oh, I'm young, too. Oh, come on, Maisie, sit down and chat with me. There. Now, I've listed your fine qualities. Tell me what you like about me. Well, there was a guy who spoke up in court when he didn't have to. I liked him fine. Go on. And when that guy made a mistake and hurt somebody, he was man enough to own up to it. I liked that, too. Sadly? And he was so polite. Treated me like a lady. Simple case. No bless, a bleach. Yep. Looking back on him, he was a great guy. But, brother, that wasn't you. Lady Revere, I am one and the same. Your stratosphere, Prince, flash Gordon. Get out of my way, funny man. I'm going. Oh, then take my advice and travel by air. It's the modern way. Safe, quick, and quick. Wait, wait, wait. I'll show you. Hey, where are you going? Up the stairs. Gotta get out of here. Don't I'm gonna take a power down. Listen, come back here. Look out below. Get up. Excuse me. Did I knock you down? You dope. I must have forgot to retract the landing gear. I'm dreadfully sorry. Allow me to assist. Oh, get away from me, you. I can get up by myself. The matadonna. Now, go away, Abby. Wrestling matches are no place for a woman that's too brutal. Oh, Bob. Maisie, I'm so sorry. Well, it's not your fault. Bob, haven't you caused Maisie enough trouble and unhappiness already? Well, that's what I'm trying to do, make her happy. You're happy. You're a reasonable facsimile thereof. Why not her? That's the democratic way. Oh, Bob, stop it. Who's that? Santa Claus? It might be Cap. Cap? It's not Santa Claus. It's Cap. Was that the bill, Miss Abby? I'll get it, Walpole. Cap, is that you? I'm not thinking. Isn't it foul, my barging in like this? Oh, Dye, it's a wonderful surprise. Quite a surprise. Bobby, dear. Why aren't my claws? How are yours? Same old adorable Bobby. I thought you were in San Francisco. Darling, I wasn't till I read about your engagement. Oh, is it in the newspapers already? Angel, of course. And isn't it the most amazing piece of news? Hmm, how'd you take it, standing up or sitting down? Silly. I was thrilled speechless. Oh, Walpole, how nice to see you. Thank you, Miss Diana. The Venetian Room, Miss Abby. Bob will carry Miss Diana's bag, Walpole. And now you and Maisie must go to bed, please. Very good, Miss Abby. What's good about it? Night, Maisie, my sweetie, bye. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Come on, Dye, there's so much I want to tell you. Darling, I should think there would be. Well, that's the end of the day, I hope. Yes, I believe it's safe to retire now. What a place. Boarders dropping in any old time. And if you ask me, that one seemed kind of anxious to get here. Hmm? Yeah. And I noticed that Bob kind of gave her the old brush off, too. Yes, I'm afraid Mr. Robert was not quite himself this evening. Oh, yes he was. It was this morning he wasn't quite himself. For him being sober and nice and making sense is a character part. That's the real Ralston, that speech-making drunk. Oh, Maisie, no. Oh, Walpole, yes. Mr. Robert has a fine scientific mind. Preserved in alcohol. Sure. I assure you you're quite wrong. Shall I show you my scars? I've known him since birth. Yeah, yeah, I know, but then again all babies are cute. I realize it's late, but won't you step into my sitting room for a moment? Oh, Walpole. Not you, too. I beg your pardon? No. I beg yours. A day here has done things to me. Come on, I'll go in with you. I've kept a scrapbook of Mr. Robert's activities. He showed great promise once. Believe me, you're misjudging him. The easy chair is comfortable. Thanks. Now here's the book, all his old photographs. Now look at this one. Mr. Robert in 1920. He was six then. So he was on the wagon only 20 years ago. Well, well. Here he is with his first cup. He sure about a man-sized stein to begin on. Well, that's a trophy. He won it in competition with 5,000 boys of his age. Doing what? Cutting out paper dolls? Building the best model airplane in the country. Maisie, he won that trophy for five straight years. No. In 1930, he went to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. His record was brilliant. He would be one of the leading airplane designers in America today if he'd remained to graduate. Well, I guess he didn't have time. Who busy leaping from jag to jag? In his junior year, he won the McBride scholarship, a signal honor, I assure you. It was then that he left. He came home that Christmas and never returned to college. Christmas? Yes. I was opening the Florida house. Mr. Alston was visiting friends in Rio. Miss Abby was in school in Switzerland. And Master Robert was all alone. He got lit up like a Christmas tree, and he stayed that way ever since. I could hardly be fond of him if he were my own son. If you ask me, Wally, it's too bad he isn't. He's going through a phase, that's all. This is just a phase. Yeah. The phase on the bar room floor. Good night, Wally. Good night. I could just came for you. Oh, thank you, Maisie. Oh, it's from Cartier's. Here, let me help you. I've never opened a package from Cartier's before. There's a card, Miss Abby. Oh, let me see. Holy smokes, will you. Look at that, a necklace. And look at those diamonds. Gee, there must be a million of them. Hey, what's the matter? The card. That's from Cap. Your dad? Oh. Does that mean he isn't going to be here for tonight? He can't make it. He wishes me happiness. Oh. Gee, I'm sorry, Miss Abby. I'm awful sorry. What's happened? An hour ago you were all in tears. I know. Now I'm the happiest girl alive. Was the grip for you going away someplace? Yes, to be married. We're eloping. Oh, you and Mr. Phillips, you're going to get married today? Oh, yes. I can hardly believe it myself. Oh, but Miss Abby, don't you think there's something romantic? It was all Link's idea. Everyone will be here tonight to celebrate our engagement. And then we're going to send them a wire telling them to celebrate. Our marriage. Well, do you think you should? I mean, isn't it awful, sudden? Oh, that's what's so romantic about it. Now listen carefully. Here's the key to my car. Go to the garage and get it out. Park it at the side door and leave the motor running. Link and I will be ready in just a few minutes. If I'm not here, I'll be in his room. He's packing. Will you do that? Yes, Miss Abby. I only wish I could do more. Oh, thank you, Maisie. Now hurry. And I wish I wasn't always getting hunches. Hunches, Maisie. About what? Oh, nothing. Just hut. Come in. Packing? What do you want, Diana? I want to talk to you. Oh? And I think you know about what. All right, Diana. Let's get down to cases. Yes, let's. I had every intention of seeing you and explaining things. You know how I feel about you. Go on. You're doing fine. Look, Di, be sensible. Why should my marriage to Abby spoil anything between you and me? I know I've hurt you, darling, but... Hurt me. For only that, it would be easy. Why you couldn't hurt me. You've made me so sick with shame and disgust for the fool I've been. I can't even look in the mirror without getting nauseated. Well, I guess that's it. I'm sorry. I had to end this way. This isn't the end. What do you think you're going to do? Oh, several things. One in particular. Tell Abby a few of the sorted details. Careful, Di. Don't get too brave. Your bombshell may explode in your face. Let go of me. Now listen. Let me go. Hi, Link. What's the matter? Nothing, Abby. Let's get out. Oh, but you and Di were arguing. What's the trouble? I'll tell you about it in the car. Where's your grip? So that's it. You're a loping. What a poor excuse for a human being you are, Link Phillips. Diana! Come on, Link. Answer that one. Protect yourself. And don't fail to mention the trip I made to the coast. Five horrible weeks trying to get Uncle Alec to consent to my marrying you without cutting off my allowance. Marrying, Link? Abby, are you going to stand here and listen to this rot? No, I'm not. The car's ready, Miss Abby. Thank you, Maisie. Will you bring the grip from my room? Well, I got it already. Here it is. Goodbye, Diana. Oh, Abby, for the love of heaven, wake up. Stop being deaf and blind while every one of your so-called friends laugh at you. You're buying something. Something that will make you hate yourself. Take it from me, Abby. I know. Mr. Link Phillips just jilded me for the Ralston million. Stop it! I don't want to hear anymore. That's a lie! I did tell one small lie when I said I read about your engagement in the paper. Well, I didn't. I read about it in a letter from Link. Let me share it with you. My darling, I'm engaged to marry Abby Ralston. I know you will understand the reason. Money was the only thing that stood between us in complete happiness. And we are both realists. Perhaps instead of the end, this is only the beginning. You're Link. Link, how could you do such a... I'm so ashamed. Oh, Abby, listen. Wait! Oh, too bad, Link. Worst luck next time. Au revoir, darling. What are you looking at? Nothing. I'm near-sighted. I can't see that far down. Miss Abby, you've got to pull yourself together. Everyone knew. Everyone's been laughing. Oh, Miss Abby. They've always laughed. All my life. Well, maybe we'd better shoot a wild-ear father, huh? I've been deaf and blind. But I can see now. I can see myself. There's never been anyone. I always thought there was something wrong with me because no one ever liked me. At school, any place. And then when Link... it all began with Link. All of a sudden it was so wonderful. Link loved me and I had all the friends in the world. Everything was different. But it wasn't. Link didn't love me. Those people, they were pretending because of the money. Just like him. And I haven't changed one bit. Big tail, Abigail. Funny face, but lots of domed honey face. Oh, Miss Abby. Miss Abby, you just sit tight. I'll be right back. I am lazy. Look, I'm flying. I'll say you are. Look, drip your sisters in trouble. Double, double, toil and trouble. Oh, keep quiet, keep quiet. Listen, she found out about Phillips. He was only after her money and he doesn't love her and he never did. Sure. Sure? You know what I'm trying to tell you? She's all... I know, I know. I knew it all the time. You knew it all, but... Well, for crying out loud, you're her brother. That's right. It's her brother, Kimphal. Oh, if I could only shake some sense into you. She's gone all the pieces, Bob, and she looks bad. And she looks funny. I wish it... Oh, never mind. You wouldn't be any help. Call the doctor. Call the doctor. Get him here right away. Do you hear? Wally, what's the matter? It's Miss Abby. I went into her room. She was lying there on the floor. She's taken poison. For station identification, this is the Columbia Broadcasting System. After a brief intermission, Mr. DeMille presents Anne Southern, Lou Wehr's, Maureen O'Sullivan, and Henry Stevenson in Act 3 of Maisie was a Lady. Why, here's our young friend Sally. Oh, tell me, Sally, did you have a nice Thanksgiving? Yes, indeed, Mr. Ruick. You know, I think there's something too, this two-thanks-givings idea. It gives you one day to be grateful for the big, important things and another for the little things that make life pleasant and easier. I see what you mean, Sally. Like having all the cream you want for your morning coffee. That's right, Mr. Ruick. But I was thinking of seeing a good movie or maybe tuning in the radio for some catchy music to get you up in the morning. Or just having modern bathrooms with plenty of hot water in them. And that leads me... Sally, I can hardly guess. Could it be straight to Lux's toilet soap? Right again, Mr. Ruick. Lux's soap is something that any girl can be grateful for. Why, every time I unwrap a smooth, fragrant white cake, I think, isn't it nice to be able to get all that luxury so easily? Easily and inexpensively, Sally. But even though Lux's toilet soap costs just a few cents a cake, it's as fine a soap as money can buy. Yes, and just think how many active lather facials there are in a single cake. Well, that's an interesting thought, Sally. I'm sure it's something the ladies in our audience want to hear more about. Can't you tell them how to take the Lux soap facial? Why, you just pat that wonderful Lux soap lather lightly in. It's so creamy and smooth it really seems to caress your skin. You rinse with warm water and follow with a dash of cool. Then pat to dry with a soft towel. Now, when you touch your skin, it feels beautifully smooth and soft. Looks so fresh, too. There you are. Thank you, Sally. Here's an important thing about Lux's toilet soap. It has creamy active lather that does a wonderful job. It removes stale cosmetics and every trace of dust and dirt thoroughly. Yes, this fine soap gives your complexion gentle, cherishing care it needs. Try Lux's soap active lather facials for 30 days. They'll help you keep skin soft, smooth, appealing the way you want it to be. Now, Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone. The curtain rises on the third act of Maisie was a lady. It's late the same night and Abby lies lingering between life and death. Her father has been summoned home and now he paces the floor outside her room nervously lighting one cigarette from another. At last, he stops and faces Bob. Bob, why did she do a thing like this? I told you on the phone, she and Link broke up. I know, I know, but to try to... and young Phillips, I can't understand it. He seemed all right. Very likable boy. But Josh Phillips was a classmate of mine. Yeah, that ought to be good enough. Look, Bob, you were here right along. Didn't you see how things were going? Yes, I suppose I did. Frankly, I never thought much of Phillips. Well, why didn't you call me up or write me up or talk to Abby? Oh, I couldn't do that. I had nothing definite to go on and Abby thought he was great. But I couldn't very well just go barging in and say, I don't like this guy, could I? She thought the world and all of them besides, I might have been wrong. Well, you can't go around telling people what they should do. They have to work things out for themselves. Yes, of course. I can see that. You're quite right. Well, I swear to heaven, I never heard anything to beat this. What? Who is this girl? Oh, this is mazy, Cap. What kind of people are you anyway? That girl is lying in there with her throat burned out with acid. They keep saying she doesn't respond to treatment. Doesn't respond my foot. She doesn't want to live. Just a moment. She got mixed up with a heel, see? Oh, Bob knew he was a heel, but Bob couldn't knock his block off. No. Bob couldn't even go barging into his sister and say, I don't like this guy. He didn't know her well enough. She was only a sister. And you, Mr. Ralston, you didn't know what Phillips was like. For all of you, he might have been Dracula. But his father was in your class, so that makes him OK. Now look here. You shut up. I've only started. Sure girls have been crossed up by men before. It's happened to me, but I always bounce back. But why couldn't Abby roll with it? Cry her eyes out for a while and say, well, that's that. Because he was everything to her. The sun, the moon and stars. The friends she never had, the family, everything. She's been starving and freezing in this grand central station of a house for 18 years. What are you talking about? I'm talking about a little kid who never had any love. Her mother's dead. She hasn't got a father to speak of. Oh, there's a guy named Cap who she sees every couple of years when every place else is closed. She knows he isn't dead because he sends her jewelry. But when you're in a jam, you got to have a shoulder to cry on and a hand to grab on to. A million bucks hasn't got a shoulder. Sure. Sure, her brother was here. He was here right along. He's drunk mostly. Bob, have you been... Yeah, he hasn't howl. I guess maybe he was lonesome, the same as her. It was Link Phillips for her and the bottle for him. Something hit him when he came home on Christmas Eve about six years back with a big prize under his arm and no one to show it to. Not even Walpole. What is this, Bob? The Bride Scholarship, I guess. I won the junior year. Oh, yes, I remember something. You remember something? Yeah, him and the second man got stiff that night. The second man sobered up. Master Robert stayed that way. Honest, I thought I'd seen my share of bad fathers and families. It had nothing but grief, but compared to this outfit, they were sitting pretty. In my neighborhood, when a man beat his kids, he knew he was beating them, and the next day, like as not, he was sorry. Well, for my money, giving them the flatter-hand stacks has given them nothing. And that's what you've given Abby, nothing. And there she is, upstairs wanting to die. Because she's got nothing. Mr. Austen. Doctor, may I see Abby now? I'm not sure it's the best thing. Well, I am. I've got to see her. There's things I want to tell her, and... Well, I'm her father, Doctor. Please. Very well. Go up. Thank you. Who is it? Hello, Maisie. Oh, you're all right now, huh? Maisie, I'm marvelous. You've met Cap? Good morning, Maisie. Oh, hello. Gee, honey, you sure gave us a scare. Cap told me something about last night. Oh, last night's forgotten. Oh, but the swell part of it. Everything's gonna break right for you from now on in. All I want for it is to keep on being just like this. It's gonna get better even. There's some grand guy walking around right now only waiting to find you. And when he does, he'll follow you to the North Pole if he has to. Oh, he won't have to. That a girl. Say, uh, Mr. Ralston, now I look back on it and I laid it on pretty thick last night. That's me. I get sore and I let fly. If an apology's in order, I'm making it right now. Oh, come on now, Maisie. You'd say the same things and call me the same names tomorrow if you thought I had them coming to me. Yeah, I guess I would. Maisie, we're going to go to Honolulu in a week or so. Oh, say that's wonderful. You wouldn't be needing a maid, would you? No, I won't be needing a maid. Oh, listen, I was only kidding. I need a companion, though. I don't get you. Not a personal dresser, a personal friend. Now, what we're trying to say, Maisie, is that we want you to come with us to Honolulu, then live with us here. Hey, wait a minute. Oh, please say yes. Well, don't worry. I will as soon as I get my breath. And no more uniform, Maisie. You'll be up on this floor near me. Gee, from the Hudkins Carnival to Honolulu inside of a month. The land of opportunity is right. Well, I think I'll go now if you'll excuse me. I want to pinch myself a few times. And if I wake up, will I be mad? Maisie, sit down. I don't know how to say this except to just say it. Well, say it. Well, I can pretty well guess what kind of an impression I must have made on you. I know what I think of myself. But Maisie, there are going to be some changes made. And when they are made, I'll have a whole lot more to say to you. Oh, Bob. Well, couldn't you kind of say it and block it out and fill in the details later on? No. No, that's all, Maisie, for now. But I'll be around with plenty to say when you come back from Honolulu with Abbey and Kappa. Oh, you're not going? Not on your life. I'm starting that repair job now. Well, will you go now, Maisie? Will you, for Pete's sake, take that silly adorable face of yours out of my sight quick before your knock or set a good resolution for her? Oh, honey. Hurry up with those alterations, will you? Mr. Robert, Miss Abbey's asking for you. Thanks, Walpole. On my way. Gee. Hiya, Wally. May I congratulate you, Miss Maisie. Hey, not so fast. That's not for a while yet. Miss Abbey told me you were to be her companion starting today. Oh, yeah. Isn't that swell? Gee, so much good luck all at once has got me winging. Yes, things are changing rapidly. I think there will be other clippings to add to my scrapbook now. Yeah, maybe even pictures of a wedding someday. Yes, of course, Mr. Robert will marry someday. What kind of a girl do you think he'll pick, Wally? I really don't know. I don't know at all. She'll be beautiful, but I'm quite sure. Charming, intelligent, well-bred. Someone who will fit perfectly into this house, whose fine background and education and good taste will help her to make it a home for him. And it is permissible to hope for their children. She will be a lady in the finest sense of the world. Oh, sure. Well, I've got a couple of things to do, so I... Oh, yes, yes, of course. You'll be moving upstairs. Would you wish someone to help you? No, thanks, Walpole. I'm used to being on my own. Thanks, though. Thanks for everything. You're quite welcome, Maisie. Well, lady Maisie, you can never say it wasn't wonderful while it lasted. Maisie! What's wrong, Walpole? Miss Maisie, sir, she's gone. Ten and one and two and kick and ten and one and two and kick and ten. That'll do. Break it up ten o'clock tomorrow morning. Nice work there, Maisie. You're doing swell. Thanks, Mac. Keep it up. I've got the boys to raise you to 20 bucks next week. Oh, boy. Go make your change and I'll buy you a hamburger. No, thanks. I'm just gonna sit here and rest my dogs a minute. Okay, be snooty. I will be lonesome. Hello? Bob. What's the idea of making me comb this city for six solid weeks trying to find you? What made you think you could get away from me? Oh, Bob, what did you have to do this for? Just when I was getting so I didn't think of you even sometimes for as long as an hour. Oh, just go away. Will you leave me alone? Come on, Maisie. Get your other clothes on. I'll tell the manager you're through. No. I say no and I know what I'm talking about. Oh, you just think you know. I can guess what went through that squirrely little head of yours, but it's all bunk, Maisie, bunk. And get it out of your mind for good. No. I was dreaming along there for a while and then I came to and got that pink cloud out of my eyes. Now, honey, the old crack still goes, East disease. Oh, now will you stop quoting Kipling? Look, hurry up. Chasing you has lost me plenty of sleep. And the factory opens at eight in the morning. The factory? That's right. We make airplanes. Well, you've heard of airplanes. Come on, come on. Bob, I've been over all this. There's only one answer for the both of us. That's right. And I've got it. No. Then add it all up again because you've made a mistake. You've got no right to come in here and get me all upset so I don't know whether I'm sitting or standing or what. And just when I was getting myself straight and out so good, now I don't know what I'm doing. You're doing what I tell you. And you can't give me your... Yes, I can, from now on. What are you going to do about it? Oh, honey. What do you think? Anne Southern, Lou Ayers, Marino Sullivan, and Henry Stephenson make producing Velux Radio Theatre a joy instead of a job. The stage is yours, mate. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. And Maisie, thanks you too. It's people like Maisie who make the world go round a little faster. In fact, she leaves even a veteran of Tarzan pictures like me a little bit breathless. I guess these youngsters have no stamina, CB. It's a coincidence, Henry, that we have three of Hollywood's most popular series represented here tonight. Besides Maisie, there's Marine, who has been Mrs. Tarzan for several years. And Lou Ayers, of course, is that brilliant young medical doctor Kildare. Well, you might have retitled the play Tarzan's Mate calling Dr. Kildare to see if Maisie was a lady. Oh, Anne and I discovered another coincidence during rehearsals. We went to high school together back in Minneapolis. An orchid to Minneapolis for sending us both Maisie and Dr. Kildare. And here's one more coincidence for you, Mr. DeMille. I bet Anne Southern and I use the same soap. And what soap would that be, Marine? I mean, lux soap, naturally. What about it, Anne? You're right, but it's no accident. Millions of women have picked lux soap as a help in keeping their skin soft and smooth. That's just good judgment. Two such lovely ladies can't be wrong, especially about lux soap. And now I know the audience is anxious to hear about next week, CB. And there's a lot to talk about, Henry. Because our play next week is A Man's Castle. And starring in the same part he played in the Columbia picture, we present Spencer Tracy. Co-starring with Spence, we'll have Ingrid Bergman. In one of the finest love stories the screen has ever given us. A Man's Castle is a play that's worthy of the talents of Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman. And I think that's enough to recommend it to you for next Monday night. It's enough for me, CB. Yes, we'll all be in your audience next week. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Hear that, Navy? Sounds like another date. Some of our audience have already celebrated the great festival of Thanksgiving. Others will observe it this coming Thursday. The day matters less than the spirit. Because we have many reasons to rejoice this year. We're grateful as always for the right to worship as we choose, for the boundless harvest of field and factory, and for a freedom that grows more precious with each passing hour. All this we as Americans have enjoyed. For all this, we humbly give our thanks. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night. When the Lux Radio Theatre presents Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman in A Man's Castle. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. And southern New Heirs and Moley, Minnesota Mrs. Sullivan appeared tonight to the courtesy of Metro-Golden Bay. This southern will soon be seen in Panama-Hattie, Mrs. Sullivan in Tarzan's Secret Treasure, and Mr. Heirs in Dr. Kildare's Victory. Heard in tonight's play were Jean O'Donnell was linked, Tori Carlton as Diana, Boyd Davis as Cap, Griff Barnett as Judge, and Charles Seal, Eddie DeMar, Warnash, and Dick Ryan. Tune in next Monday night to hear Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman in A Man's Castle. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers, and your announcer has been Melville Roick. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.