 Well, hello, MidlifeLoveMaster. Remember, I'm your host, Jonathan Asley, and I'm so excited to be doing this short video for you today. It's a morning cup of Jonathan, and today we have our Don't Make Me All Go Psycho roommate on you, one of my favorite mugs. And our topic, do women have more options than men when dating? So let me share with you where this topic came up, because I was having an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who works with men. I've got a dating coach for men, excuse me, and he was sharing how in his demographic he mostly works with men who lack confidence, especially in just meeting women and talking to women. So in his age demographic, although it tends to be younger men, he says he works with men who are in their 50s, certainly in the midlife category. And he was saying how women have more options, and whether it's at age 20 or age 50, he believes. And I thought to myself, and he shared with me because men are the ones who typically approach the women, and women typically are the ones being approached. So if a woman gets 10 emails from men, on essence, she's getting more options because she's being approached more often versus the way women approach men. So from that perspective, I could see that to be true. Now, one other thing that he brought up from a book by, I believe it's David Bus called Evolution of Desire. It's interesting that roughly about 80% of women desire the top 20% of men. 80% of women desire the top 20% of men. Whatever that means, it might be status, it might be looks, whatever, you know, the height, whatever it is that, and I think it's true for the same with men. Men desire the top 20% of women, however that is characterized, whether it's based on looks or whatever that is for them. So it's kind of interesting. It's like the top 20% are the most desirable, if that's true. And according to this book, it is true. And yet this idea, do women have more options? And let's take it to midlife. Well, you know, I know that I, while I do get a fair amount of messages from women, more so than probably the average guy, maybe it's because I represent that 20% category. And I simply say that because I'm six foot two full head of hair and I've got a pretty darn good job, okay? So maybe I'm in that category, maybe I'm not. But at the same time, I know that if I email a woman, she's probably being hit on by 10 or 15 or 20 men, you know, in any given day. I don't like hit on. I'm sorry. Well, if I message a woman, they might be messaged by men as much. So, so is that really true? Do women have more options than men? I would say that women tend to believe that they don't as they age, they believe they have less options. Even Paulina Poroskova recently this, like in the last six months mentioned that she is this beautiful supermodel, beautiful supermodel. And she says, I, you know, at age 50 now, she was a supermodel in her youth. She goes, I am invisible to men. And I'm like listening to this and she's saying how ageism is, you know, is affecting us and we need to do something for ageism. I'm like, wait a minute, like, I'd give my right arm to have dated you or date you now because now that's basically based on the fact that I had a crush on her when I was younger. So, so this belief that she's invisible, I guarantee you there's a lot of men that would happily date her just purely based on her looks. So to say she's invisible seems kind of, you know, atrocious, I mean ridiculous to me. So, and I bet she probably rejects men as well. So this really begs the question in my mind is why are people rejecting one another? And I hear this habitually from my clientele in the dating room when they see a man's profile on a dating app and he goes, oh, he's not attractive and swipe or what was he thinking writing me? What was he thinking writing me? I hear this. I hear this from women. It really, it almost bothers me that there's this belief that someone is less than you. I really don't like that attitude that's happened. And by the way, men do this as well. So I'm not here to suggest, I don't think men necessarily might say what was she thinking writing me if it was someone unattractive. I don't think men just probably judge the looks and they move on, but they don't judge themselves as superior. I'm not, I don't know that. I'm just speculating that. They just might have a judgment based on looks. But there's this almost belief from many women that they are superior to the person that isn't, that they're not attracted to. And can you wonder why there's so much unhappiness and dysfunction if there were coming at this from the perspective of that we're better than someone? That that superiority, that specialness. And then then then the then it starts to twist. Well, why aren't the men I'm attracted to not interested in me? Why aren't those men interested me? They must be all they care about is younger women. All they care about is, you know, looks and status and stuff like that. Well, we just even said that from an evolutionary biology perspective, that actually does happen. And so it's really the quandary that I think the real message in all this is rather than focusing what, you know, do women have more options? You know, it really matters. Do you it's not even about options. What is it about you that can attract your partner? What is it about you that can that can that can be in a good relationship? Are you in a good state within yourself? Are you happy with yourself? Do you love on yourself? Do you do you take care of yourself? Do you? Do you are you? Are you capable of taking care of yourself in a multitudes of ways? I mean, both physically and financially and emotionally, because the more evolved a human being is, the more they can actually lean into a healthy, happy relationship. It doesn't mean that some I say, I don't even like using the term more evolved. I'm just saying empowered an individual is more likely that they'll have greater success in relationship. I think the less empowered a person is man or woman alike. And they're going to have major dysfunction in relationship if they haven't learned good communication skills, if they haven't learned to manage their emotions that doesn't come out in a very toxic way whether a man or woman. So I'm here to say, you know, it's not about the options of whether or not you can attract a man or that you get more men attracted to you. It's what are you doing for yourself to live the happiest, fullest, richest life for yourself. And when you're operating from that place, the the right man or woman will gravitate towards you. And it's not based on a timeline could happen one year before you pass away or it could happen today. Tomorrow, it's not based on a timeline. It's based on living one's individual life to the fullest and being grateful that people might be interested in you coming from a place of trust and gratitude. Let me repeat that coming from a place of trust or gratitude. I trust that the universe God universe spirit will attract in a really perfect partner for me and I use the word perfect from the sense of that we're aligned in our values that our lifestyles are blendable that this person is emotionally mature enough to lean into a relationship. And we both have the mutual chemistry to actually want to dive deeper into romantic love with each other. And so that I have trust. And in that same venue, I have gratitude that my life is I'm living my fullest life and I'm grateful for all my family and friends and all those people that love me and I'm in a state of gratitude. And from that state of trust and gratitude. It's not about options. It's about trust and gratitude. And can I lean into that? And when I do, the right person, if there is such a thing as the right person, we'll just use that for right now, will want to or a good match will want to connect with me. And that's the invitation I have for you all. Ah, hope this is sinking in. I hope this is resonating with you. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, please post a comment below if this resonated with you or not. If you have something to add, I'd like to read it. As always, if you find value in the group, please tell, please tell your friends about midlife love mastery, send them to my website, Jonathan, as late.com, have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm going to sign up this videos I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barrow of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay, I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pat a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye bye now. Bye bye.