 guns and all that. So, yeah, that can be an issue, definitely. Just realise that I didn't click live on the YouTube. So, hello YouTube. Ask me anything about autism in the stream, my apologies for my lateness. My organisation is not being the best today. So, another question here from YQ and Dear. How do you get a formal diagnosis? I'm 17. That's very complex because in the UK you would go to EGP and basically try and push as much as you can to go for a formal diagnosis and you would be put on a very long waiting list to go to go and get that diagnosis or you can go private if you're anywhere else in the world. If you're sort of above the age of 18, sometimes that process can be really really long, but if you're 17 I would definitely like go for it as soon as possible because they do sort of the systems that in place do tend to like focus on some children, teens, things like that. So, I definitely go for that. If you're in another place you might have to sort of look for different places I guess. Hi from Jay Shooter from Canada. Hello. And another one, Cloud from Saudi Arabia. Very cool. I always love just like the diversity of the like the places of people coming onto the stream. It's really cool, really cool. Thanks Stallion. So, we're liking the clean-shaven look I guess. Okay, quite a vegan says I grab my teeth a lot, but also much on crunchy. Is that like the crunchy chocolate bars? Because I know that for me like crunchy foods like carrots and or even even things like like chicken like I can't just eat like plain chicken it has to have some kind of crunchy outer shell on it. It's very strange, but I suppose those things are more like along the lines of just like meeting sensory needs and stuff, but you can get a lot of stimmy action as well. You might feel that when you get anxious you sort of clench your teeth quite a lot or grind them or bite your lip. So, sometimes having something else and sort of exploring different oral motor sort of stings can help with that. They do definitely help with me. I did mention in the post that there was a company called Chewy Gem and they were actually one of the first people on the podcast who I think it was like season one like episode two or three or something. It was such a long time ago, but they sent me a box. They were like one of the first people to sort of sponsor me and I've got a few of them. You can get like these chewable dog tag things or you can get like a bracelet because I think a lot of the issues that a lot of adults might have is that you might like something to just be like bright colors and kind of out there and people know that it's kind of a chewy thing. So for me I really like to go for things that are kind of sleek and you know you could see yourself wearing it just you know not just for chewing on. That's what I tend to go for and Chewy Gem does do stuff like that which is really cool. Elena asks, what are the positive aspects of autism? What changed from your childhood to adulthood century wise? Two very big questions. There's a lot of positives I would say. You just go through the posts you know. There's so many things that I could talk about on that but I think yeah childhood to adulthood century wise hasn't really changed. I still struggle with high sort of sensory environments. You know it's too bright, too noisy. I think it's just that the thing that's changed is how serious I take it because I didn't really use to take it seriously when I was when I was younger. I was just like you know I don't need to stem. I don't need to meet my needs by like actively doing something. So in adulthood definitely definitely so and also around like sensory support I feel a lot I feel a lot more empowered nowadays just to stick these things in. They have like active noise canceling. Also wearing shades. Maybe need to get around to doing that at some point but I do tend to squint a lot especially in bright places. And also I guess as I've got older I feel a lot more comfortable doing like little stems. I'm fine just having like a little bit of a dance now and again to get that vestibular input. Doesn't really bother me as much. I think it's just management definitely. Like as you got older you just kind of you know at what point things are just way too much and you just like I could sit here and I could you know continue in a social situation or I could perhaps exit out and have like a break or put my earphones in and just say like hey guys I need a bit of a sensory break. So it's that management and also that kind of self advocacy aspect of it that really helps. Yeah we see that we have a few people sort of viewing on YouTube yeah please feel free to ask some questions. If you see that there's no comments and I am like asking questions and stuff that's answering questions is because Instagram is also open so you can please feel free. Autistic and continent says interception awareness impacts and contents to for other not sure about that one for me it's it's more about realising when I need to go to the bathroom you know sometimes I just don't know about it until I really think about it you know someone says that we're gonna go somewhere I've just been putting off like the entire day and then as soon as it's time to go I'm like oh I need the bathroom it's that kind of experience for me I don't know about incontinence though. We'll have to look into that. What's the difference between ADD and ADHD? I'm not I'm not the probably the best person to ask about that because I tend to focus more on like the autism side of things but I think I think a lot of the differences is around the hyperactivity aspects of it because ADD is like attention deficit disorder in terms of the acronym. It's ADHD is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder so there's that component of it. I don't know what the differences would be I imagine that perhaps with ADHD might be a bit more impulsive bit more hyperactive obviously but yeah I definitely go and check out one of the many many big ADHD sort of channels of that. I'm actually doing a podcast at some point which is going to be on like the link between ADHD and autism because I know that there's like a 50 to 70 percent like 50 to 70 percent chance that if you're autistic that you will have ADHD which is absolutely crazy like you could just like if someone asks you if you're autistic and you go to a doctor and they're like oh well why do you think you have ADHD they're kind of a bit skeptical about it just pull up that stat just be like hey look there's more chance that I have it than I don't and if you spot in other signs and you've come sort of giving sort of the symptoms and stuff I've realized that my mic's not on Jesus Christ that'll be why my YouTube's not working. God I'm awful I'm sorry YouTube. I'm so terrible I'm so bad. Eating is my main stim unfortunately I think. It's not a hunger thing it's a constant need to be chewing or drinking something very stimulating I get that definitely. I think there's some like ADHDers who create like reels and they say that like they're a beverage goblin because they have like wandering witches just like something for hydration they have wandering witches like caffeine you know something to energize them and then they have one thing that's just like nice and flavorful that they can just kind of drink I suppose so yeah I relate to that a lot you know I've always nervous since I started my medication I'm on metazapine which is like this sedative medication that helps you in sleep but it also kind of helps me with the jitters that I get from SSRIs the antidepressants and the side effect of that is that it increases your hunger it increases it's like an appetite stimulant so that can be a bit sucky and I've struggled with sort of maintaining a healthy weight for like probably a while so the snacking aspect I definitely you know it's it definitely was a big thing for me it's not so much anymore it's more about so the picking the teeth and that kind of thing but I have like this gum it's like 15 times stronger than normal gum and they just chew through that and it just helps me I think one thing to be aware of when you're using anything that's like oral motor is that you have like this joint that kind of connects both sides of your jaws I think it's like the TMG, TIG something like that I can't remember the exact name but if you do chew a lot and you like chew very hard things constantly sort of throughout the day it can sort of wear down that joint so it's worth to be aware of if you start to notice some like clicking or some soreness or some like rigidity in it definitely can come orbit ADHD impact the need for sickness and routine I think so especially if you are autistic as well because you have that sort of push pull dynamic it's like one side autism you know you really find that comfort and certainty in the routine and a lot of ADHD is do as well whereas with the ADHD it's kind of like pulls you towards different things and you're like I want variants in my training you get bored out you know you always want to kind of shift things up so I think some for some people that can be sort of a hard balance to go for yeah it's Fred chicken yeah what's a Fred chicken as well I realized I'm very far behind on chat so I apologize for that I was taught that I have ADD but it's almost like ADHD what is the difference between them I think I think I covered that blunt force Tanya asked that's a big issue being late diagnosed so accustomed to numbed interception I think I'm fine denying my needs until it's too late yeah and that's that's a really big that's a really good point because I think that's something that a lot of us can do especially if you are like a lexophymic even if you're thinking about like emotions and things because you can often sort of ignore those signs that your anxiety is rising or you might not be able to sort of notice them as much so it's kind of I think it's kind of being aware of the environment that you're in and sort of keep sort of making regular check-ins with yourself and it can be hard to kind of get that kind of be a bit annoying sometimes I would say to kind of get that that balance of dealing with things versus you know satisfying your needs sort of be having that style or oversight and sort of care for yourself and sort of in building that into situations where you're anxious or you have the high likelihood of getting anxious that can be really important did you answer if you had a formal day I do have a formal diagnosis hi jord how you doing question from a brief don't you feel like you get overwhelmed while making an editing videos it happens to me I don't get I don't get overwhelmed by editing them but definitely the nature of social media the nature of you do the nature of any social media is that consistency is what kind of leads to the most growth over the long term and the stress of having to get things out that is something that I could definitely agree with that that can be very overwhelming definitely Danny says you are right is the hyperactivity is the hyperactive you don't have to be jumping all the time how productivity is not only physical it could be emotional or brain yeah definitely I'd agree with that among other points who he ASD and ADHD here well thank you for having a blunt first time says some as someone with ASD and ADHD they partially counter each other I I have PDA but I am incapable of procrastinating because of anxiety due to a task due to a task what a task gives me it's really interesting it's it's I think the ADHD aspect of it is something that I really want to sort of dive into a bit more I'm kind of I've been sort of went to a GP and I sort of gave them you know my ideas of why I might be it's it's kind of difficult though because because of that said it had meant that I'm on my feelings is that because I've been on it for so long it's quite hard to know if I am sort of hyperactive because it's really sort of it really slows you down it's a very like long-acting medication so it stays in your system and it kind of sedates you quite quite a bit which obviously great for anxiety but you know when you're thinking about things like ADHD it can perhaps you know the medication you're already on can perhaps sort of muddy the water in terms of knowing exactly what your profile is I relate to the PDA aspect Clown says I wasn't doing hand flapping a lot but after autumn diagnosis I started to flip my hand a lot I do that as well you know at the gym like I have this thing that I do where I just go like that it's now and again I think that's something that I'm doing a lot more and you know usually in my very mass to kind of self-conscious low self-esteem state I'd probably be like hey should probably stop that it's a bit weird why you know why would I do that but it goes out as I'm becoming more sort of happy in myself and a bit more confident I think I'm definitely airing on the side of you know I do that that's that's great what it makes me feel great so I'm doing it I think any anything that you do that's repetitive and it could calm you down if you can consider that a stim you're saying about the the drink goblin thing multiple drinks TMG yeah that's the the joint TMG joint thank you for that mewing yeah maybe you can I mean I don't really say like mew it mewing could be I suppose it could be quite steamy maybe who knows I think it's more of like the for anybody doesn't know what mewing is it's like this sort of there's like this area of the internet called offer tropics which is all about the development and it's like the basics of it are is that you want to have your mouth closed most of the time when you're not talking you want to breathe through your nose and you want to have like your tongue just your whole tongue just kind of glued to the top of your mouth and it's supposed to put some kind of pressure on your bone structure so I've encouraged it to develop in the correct way it's a lot more effective when you younger but when you're out you can still sort of get some positive changes from it in terms of like your facial structure but yeah yeah I suppose it could be definitely I can't chew gum it hurts my jaws fair enough I don't blame me about that I'm hyper mobile so one side of my jaw literally slides out of the joint when I open my mouth wide and it pops if I chew hard sometimes yeah I think that complicates a bit more I don't know it might be worth doing some research maybe doing some kind of jaw exercises might I don't know thicken the muscles around it I know that that was definitely something that I had I don't have hypermobility but I always had this kind of party trait where I could sort of dislocate my shoulder in and out and that was one of the reasons why I started doing started weightlifting when I was an athlete so I was like I really want to fix this I don't want my shoulder to be cause me issues and so building muscle around it it kind of helps I can't I can't do it anymore so I lost my party trick but got a bit more of a stable shoulder joint so how did you cope for cope with school high school is hell for my lad century etc but school does here um good question there's a lot of things about school that are not so great for us so I don't blame you about that sensory wise I think it would be worth really pushing the teacher the head teacher and saying that these are his needs or these are their needs and you know that you know they you could you could say to them because obviously for me for me I don't really think of autism as my disability it's just kind of how I am it's kind of the different brain that I have so but you could you could say to them hey look like you need to be inclusive as a school you know this isn't good we need to have some kind of sensory support in place to help his anxiety helping focus more obviously all sorts of benefits to to making sure that you get the sensory support in place so I would really push for that and it can be really difficult and you might have to have a few conversations with them but I just say just keep me in persistent with it I'm making sure that the teachers that that teach them in class know that it's okay for them to put some put some earbuds in or put some headphones in if they need to I think a lot of them are adverse to it because they think that other kids will be like oh why are they getting put headphones and earbuds in it's like do they get special treatments like yeah they do get special treatments they need it that's the point of it so they just have to be a bit more diligent and less the teachers that has been a bit more accepting of things and just having to get used to it because you know they should do and that's it's important for us to feel able to cope with school do you prefer atypical over neurotypical or it doesn't matter I mean as friends I think it's different I think obviously people with different neurodiversity is different but I think for me it's more it's more about are they a good person do I feel calm around them can I chat to them about all sorts of things that are not just surface level that's more important to me I think when I was younger I found it a little bit easier to talk to other autistic people but you know I've been around neurotypicals for a lot of my life me my my my parents is a lot my friends are I love them I think they're great you know I've had partners that are neurotypical it's you know it's not it's not necessarily that I like one group better than the other in terms of friends but I think definitely you could you can find a lot more common grounds with over autistic people and you both kind of get the same things like you don't really feel like you have to like explain things to them they just kind of get it and you know so if it feels a bit more natural in terms of you know you see them and you just instantly talk about something deep and you just get into a topic which is really good but then again on the neurotypical side you know I find that often a lot of my neurotypical friends or other neurodivergencies up in the north of them they tend to be very good at coordinating friend groups and sort of getting those kind of like friends in that friend group together to do something which I think is really important for me sometimes it is good to kind of meet up one-to-one but I do like you know I do like to go to a party or two well you know just sit with some friends and kind of listen to the group and things like that so if I think it varies you know it depends on the person really I mean you can make friends with anybody it just depends on for neurotypicals it really depends on whether they want to understand you better and make adjustments for you or if they don't and if they do then that's great and you can kind of have a good friendship but you know so yeah I mean I have answers to your question about that but it's I don't have a particular sort of pull towards one way or the other yes my therapist saw me that hyperactivity aspect of ADHD can often be internally directed yeah I would say so as well definitely as I said ADHD is not my strong point advice for a nearly diagnosed adult that that I can answer follow as many actually autistic accounts as you can and basically just just just try and sit down at some point during the evenings and read about other people's experiences some things they're kind of good overviews of different things and you can kind of use that to research your own on Google other things you know like sort of the post that I make and some of the other sort of advocates and autistic researchers they can provide some really good insights and some good kind of blog format posts that you can learn from I know that that was really important for me because I suppose at the start it was kind of you know I didn't really appreciate to the extent that autism kind of affect sort of influenced how I was and who I was so I guess getting to it I kind of felt like a little bit demoralized because I was like I thought I thought I was this special person and then I realized that a lot of people have similar experiences to me so it's that kind of feeling that oh my identity as a person it's kind of dissolving a little bit but then there's also the aspect of you know actually hey people people get this and I can read about other people who have been through similar things and learn from them and you know interact with other people you know such a big community just throughout the world and you can get so different different takes different opinions and make your own mind about it if you if you're looking for some people to follow I definitely go through my my following list have a look at the people I follow there'll be a lot of people on there who create a lot of autism you read over the related content you could you could definitely check that out as best as well if you need a diagnosis and you are sort of struggling to move forward with life things things are becoming a bit difficult your mental health is not too bad it's or not good it might be worth looking at disability benefits PIP particularly in the UK it can be very difficult to go through that process if you if you have sort of the mental health aspects of it it might be good to go through the IAPT service in the UK so the intervention mental health service kind of thing so there's a lot of things like practical things that you can do around it I talked to and listen to other advocates when it comes to adjustments in workplaces because there can be some complexities around it especially if you meet in the US because I know that one of the reason the adjustments is to fire you if if if they can't get all the adjustments and you're not doing a good job so they just find another reason to fire you when it is about your disability which is a bit bloody annoying so those are some practical things that you can do as well but I think that the bulk of it you can do a lot of works of online on social media that might be hypermobility my dear sir and big yes on lifting that's the only reason my joints pretty stable and I'm not injury prone been lifting for a decade very cool well congrats for that I've been on it for three years at the moment so I'm still somewhat new to it school is horrible for me yeah I relate to that a lot it is really tough place I don't understand the deep obsession with treating everyone the same we are different people with different needs I want schools to do better yeah definitely and I think a lot of people they put a lot of particularly if they don't sort of and they're not so involved in the new diversity community it can be like it's it's a problem because why do you need a label in order to make adjustments for a student to feel more comfortable and to be able to fit in better at school it just seems a bit silly not to do that like it autistic or not if you can do something that improves someone's experience of school improves someone's like comfort levels and ability to to go to school on a regular basis why not do that like you don't need a diagnosis just I just don't understand it I don't understand why schools are not more like what why do you have to have this formal system why can't you just say hey look he likes he needs to wear some earbuds when he when he goes in you know goes into classes or goes in the hallways because they're a bit so overwhelming just let him wear earbuds like you don't need to have some formal letter of you know or this is this is a formal thing that we have to implement son you need to make sure that we've got all the paperwork in order it's just to slam where the earbuds it's like it's ridiculous my school wasn't as bad I'm glad I'm glad I have one autistic friend and he's my best friend great I'm very glad to hear that it can be really nice now especially when someone kind of understands some of the autistic experiences greetings from Poland take care from Stanikos thank you glad to have you here I was crying at all our classes because I hated drawing on these things yeah Lydia loves that though hello Rania welcome to the stream I am doing the stream which is on Instagram on my Instagram at Tom's and the UK but I'm also doing on YouTube so you're very welcome to ask questions all about autism ask me personal questions please please go for it this is a good one advice to coming out to long-term friends about late diagnosis of autism I will be 30 this year and some of my friends have been quite dismissive about it yeah that's a really big issue because I don't think I don't think a lot of people see just how important it is or just how like how much of a revelation it is just to know that you you're autistic because you kind of go through life expecting that you know you have these expectations that are put on yourself by neurotypicals by society to do certain things by certain age or have certain skills and be able to do certain things and like for a lot of autistic people that can be really damaging over the long term she's like why can't I do this and you know why why do I struggle with this and why do people make fun of me for when I'm talking to them about this and I think you know they don't really see the importance of just having that kind of validation they see it as like oh you're trying to put a label on yourself you know it's a negative thing why you're doing that it is so validating just to know that you're autistic so it's it baffles me that people like that but I think it's a lot to do with a stigma I was talking to coaching by Brooke on the on that podcast I was saying about the CrossFit, ADHD and autism and we were talking about that and like I think you know for autism there is still that really big stigma around that you know I think some people can feel like they can relate more to the ADHD experience possibly they think they can not saying that they can just because of like the some of the aspects around hyperactivity concentration and possibility I think they can kind of see that but when it comes to things like autism or some of the more in-depth things about ADHD they're very very complex to understand like things like a likes of I'm your cognitive empathy it's like you know they really struggle to sort of wrap their head around it but I'd say that the best way to approach it is to approach you with an understanding and an expectation that they're not gonna be the most open to it but over time I think you know just keeping out it and not not making too much of a big big focus on it in conversations and so trying to get that validation you want to try and get that validation internally and by talking to other autistic people it is nice and I completely relate to the feeling of you know people not taking you seriously and taking your diagnosis seriously and your revelation that you're autistic but I think over time it's something that people kind of get used to and they a lot of the time they just need a bit more education they need to learn a bit more about it yeah we've got a couple of questions on YouTube in determined origin says 51 years old autistic PDD nos those have been overlapping my overlapping diagnosis is 52 years old coming October 14th 2023 well so what at what point were you diagnosed I'd be really interested to know and I can't really says is it better to have the label of autism than to think I'm a failure yeah it yet it is better to have a label definitely yeah of course yeah because if you if you're putting expectations on yourself to be like a neurotypical like that's just this is just a reps recipe for failure completely well I hope that answers it okay free Nikki I hope that answers it but for us people on social media is literally the only reason I suspected I was autistic and pseudo diagnosis true yeah I mean for me I knew that was autistic but I didn't really understand the extent to which it impacted how I was and how I live and how I should should want to live and that was all from social media listening to other people yep some companies said that they were disability friendly and now they're not in the job but the job I have now is I'm very glad about that not about the first bit about the second that remedials I've been researching neurodiversity for two years now like a special interest and I relate to a lot of ADHD autism OCD and anxiety yeah I mean I definitely look into it look into it a bit more definitely you know it's yeah thank you thank you for sharing that indeterminate origin from YouTube says I used to do live video streaming blog posts on my YouTube channel but not anymore I don't feel safe posting them one reason is that I am a very private autistic and don't want any publicity I understand that yeah definitely you're diagnosed in 1992 yeah I mean I know that for a lot of people sort of within sort of the older generations there can be a lot more of that stigma aspect of it I know that my grandparents in particular they're like so it's very very difficult for me to explain to them what it is and why it's important and you know my grandfather is definitely autistic but I'm never going to be able to convince him of that Rani and Margaret said greetings from Greece I subscribed to your channel a long time ago but never had the chance to catch up on a live chat lovely to hear to be here on the chat lovely to have you Rani thank you for coming on I appreciate it benefits in the US a trash yeah yeah I can imagine Pichili beats is why are we all so gorgeous I follow Antonella I imagine Audion Audionella to and ask us be world and I've yet to see a mayor look in autistic I don't understand that but it's remedy says I tend to mask at home more than I do at school I'm in grade 10 now and my mates are so kind no bullying no judging while at home it's full of trauma on so sorry about that I'm glad that you feel sort of having a safe space in in school so if you made something that's really important I'm not sure about that but though it might be worth looking I suppose looking at possibly getting some support around that especially if you you sort of in grade 10 it might be worth looking at some some support on that I can't do that for you but you know I definitely encourage you to do so my school children school teachers well most of them anyway were autistic interesting when I when I was at school they took my Walkman away because they didn't know I needed them yeah I can imagine that was the case it's not good I'm gonna take a little bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a speedy speedy action and looking at the more recent chats because I know that I've been a bit rubbish and keeping up with them saying it's just a label is saying like a medical diagnosis when you're in mysterious chronic pain is just a label yeah I know well I mean like but I can understand that the the issues with labels to a certain extent of boxing people off and not but I think it's very hard to go through life ignoring all labels and labels are not created equally you can have restrictive labels and you can have labels that help you understand more about yourself develop yourself and learn and sort of accept yourself more I don't see there's anything wrong with like doing that I think it's just there the whole thing of oh you don't need to label yourself it's that kind of mainstream rhetoric that I think has pushed around a lot yeah how can I tell my strict parents take me to therapy do you have any advice I tried to tell try before with my mom and she told me to stop researching or I'll develop symptoms and fake them yeah that's that sounds a bit like gaslighting to me just um I try and seek out organizations that perhaps you could talk to that are sort of either local or national see if there's any places for people that you can talk to and perhaps just just go through and try and or at least go to a doctor or encourage you know just say that you would like to go to the doctor to make sure that you know this way I know sometimes it can always be the best thing because doctors cannot always have the most holistic useful information about autism also a useful view and up to date view but I definitely look for some organizations that I think could help you definitely lady elu says with my autism my shopping problems yeah I can imagine that it's like the executive aspect and the sensory stuff like super markets are horrible for sensory things especially when it's really busy and you get like people trying to you have to like navigate push past people or like navigate your shopping cart around people it's very stressful online shopping that is the answer you're welcome Nicky Austin Hedgewell I started hurting myself again out of frustration at myself after not doing it for eight months bit ashamed any advice on self-forgiveness um I think self forgiveness is a skill and I think it's hard isn't it because especially like for me I've always struggled with depression and it's very hard for me to see myself as a good person worthy of care and worthy of respects I think I think a lot of time is it's really good to kind of take a step back out of yourself in their situations and think about yourself as a person you know ask ask people you know what you know what they like about you and what you're good at and try and develop that kind of whole view of yourself as someone worthy of care and respect and the thing is you shouldn't feel pressured to live on a certain time frame I think a lot of media that's out there a lot of social media can really push you into feeling like oh my god like it can be good for motivating you but if you are like if you are struggling with your self-esteem and someone says that oh my god I need to get on I need to do this and this and improve myself in this way and I can never give up and you go to stay on the ground certain you know this for a lot of people that just doesn't work it's easy for them to say that in the place that they are being you know having none of those sort of inequalities around being autistic having not having to live in a world that's not built for your stereotype so yeah I think it's worth understanding that a lot of the stuff out there it's it can be very positive in sort of growth mindset related in that way but it's not always the best thing to really take to heart and a lot of the time we do feel like we're on this time scale that we have to get this done by a certain point in our lives to feel like we're worthy and if we take breaks on that then that's a bad thing and I don't think so there can be a lot of reasons to take a break from from personal growth you know you just got to focus on the big picture and just feel you know get yourself back into it slowly over time and I guess just just treat yourself more like you would someone that you really cared about which can be hard I know I struggled with that it's it's tough I hope that's helped to a bit though and it's gonna read a bit from the the chat and there's a petition that I've been running for an autistic female friends Penpal I've had for 28 years and still counting wow it is my same age it's on change.org she desires to get her to get together for her life interesting cat lady says I research autism for about two years I got diagnosed two weeks ago congrats I'm very very very glad for you my mother is angry at me for getting a diagnosis she says I was collecting diagnosis yeah that's that's another common one you know you just collecting labels for attention or just to feel special you know it's from a lot of people who feel very insecure about other people being different like I'm sure there's some there are some people out there who do that kind of thing but you know I think if you know in yourself that you know you just want to try and understand yourself a bit more get a bit more clarity on who you are and what you should be focusing on in terms of improvement I don't see anything wrong with that I think you should you know really self-advocate for yourself in that case Renny says I am I have been diagnosed as an adult but I don't feel comfortable to talk about being autistic in my country which um which country are you from just I'm origin talking a bit more about that thing cool cat Lily I'm sorry it's difficult living in your country yeah it can be really difficult in my case Thomas in response to what you're saying about presently in terms of that kind of timescale thing I'd almost 52 years old I'm running out of time and I would try not to have that deception on it I understand that yes we do have so but limited life and such but I'm saying that these goals that people have in mind for you it's not necessarily things that you need to hold yourself to you know everyone I there's been a lot of people who have got very popular in the media a lot of people have done really well in business who started up their business Sony really got known in the 50s you know and I'm not saying go out and start your own company but you know it's it's it's not it's not like it's an over thing you can do lots of things if you want to it's like my dad was saying about you know we were at the gym and he was like oh I'm never gonna be able to build muscle I'm like what like you could definitely if you wanted to you if you went more to the gym if you got a bit more of a protein intake if you had more time to do it of course you could I understand about sort of the time I do but it's you know it's you gotta in terms of some managing that against expectations from other people I would try not to to feel rushed in order to get to a certain point that other people have prescribed to you that's all I'm saying I understand that I do obviously I don't understand from a person who's perspective I understand what you're saying I got anxiety and stress and this other thing that my mom calls I have but I've forgotten what's called that yeah Westwood says Westwood Sarah says my dad is definitely autistic but what I've made it I relate to that yeah and not always it's not always something that a lot of people need to go for you know if they're finding themselves in a tough place and their mental health's not so good and you know they're struggling with certain aspects of life then sure it might be worth to push them a bit more on it but if they're happy if they're kind of doing well in life then you don't think that it would be a benefit obviously be great for them and it would be a very self-validating to know that kind of thing but yeah I think I think everyone warms up to a different pace especially when when people are a bit older it's kind of without with a whole stigma around autism that was kind of in their day it's kind of like it's hard to break that and sort of see yourself in other autistic people I'm happy to be autistic but sometimes I mask all the time on most of the time and what do you mean by masking because there's there's lots of different ways that you can mask dobe of dobson says hi hello what's the Sarah I don't even believe I have it even though I was diagnosed age 50 last year I can imagine that it's um it's it's a difficulty we have a lot of this thing called autistic imposter syndrome and a lot of that is due to those as I said those stigmas that are in the media the general stigma around autism it can really make us feel like we're not worthy of being considered autistic or and I think as well it can be quite hard especially if you've been masking a lot of your life as well as perhaps you know not not having as much education around it and sort of understand like the experiential angle of it it can be hard to relate to a lot of these people that you see online who are very sort of openly autistic talking about different things you know talking about stimming talking about special interests it can feel sometimes a bit like there's a bit of a gap but if you've been diagnosed I would take that and I understand that you know even I experience imposter syndrome now and again mostly because of my communication skills you know I could know I'm quite easy to chat to people and to some people that that can be a little bit of an issue for some people in terms of accepting that I'm autistic I know from from talking to neuro typical sort of out how in the world it can be yeah bit of cool hello Dave Dale cocking we're talking all about autism so feel free to ask autism questions although I have realized that we're running on about half past nearly half past six and they said that it'd be an hour but I'm gonna I'm gonna check check what my commitments in terms of meetings are later in the day I cannot see on my this planner okay well we'll go for it we'll go until quarter to possibly if it lets me can ask a few more questions if you want lady Lewis says I asked for a laptop in college didn't get one or help but only from one of the teachers yeah it can often be like one of just one of those teachers that really get you that sort of like actually take you seriously and what you're saying it's like that can be really really validating important enough I've had a few sort of teachers in my time who are really sort of stable for me even at university one of the student support officers who was absolutely pivotal in me making it for uni just that one person and just being able to talk to them and for them to help you know sort of signpost me in the right ways for support that was so important for me but I relate to those difficulties around adjustments and all that. Beth Wattman says I open a sensory room for children with additional needs I'm thinking of starting a meet-up for adults and with autism do you think there is something you would go to if there was a group new year yeah I think so I try it why not I think that's a good idea I can't see the harm in that I see a lot of positives in doing things like that I see a lot of people to help me about what's them and learn more about me good I think it's something that will come with time and you'll probably feel a bit more once you start putting adjustments in place making changes to your life and feeling happier and more content more fulfilled you'll be like hey actually all these things that autistic people generally find helpful are helping me and it kind of kind of reinforces that a bit so I'd say that that feeling of imposter syndrome will fade over time it's just where it's just worth just you know understanding you've got diagnosis and just trying to address those kind of stigmas that you're having your head there kind of stopping you from connecting with the label and trying to learn it a bit more so I think you're doing great at the moment I understand that that's that's an important thing to talk about I don't know if I want to talk about SA on on this life but I appreciate you your contributions that a leader lives as my world is very different and difficult sometimes yeah definitely how are you man I'm good thank you Jeff Jeff Smith ladies it Lewis says I am a human yeah definitely it'd be a bit strange if you weren't into Tom oh in this amount of origin says to me Temple Grandin is overrated she perpetuates the misconception that autistics turn out success stories the truth is that all of them do I am a case in point yeah and I think you can go one of two ways you can have the view that autistic people are these disabled people that never get anywhere in life or autistic people are these amazing successful like creative out-of-the-box thinkers that can do all these things and be incredibly successful and you know just like with any population in the world the answer mostly some lies somewhere in the middle for most people that's what most people's lives are going to be like and it's not going to be the case for everyone there's a lot of different aspects of people's personality who they are they can impacts sort of an environment massive massive part of it especially if you've been you know if you're sort of more older that can be a big big part that definitely cat let it says I'm in an online meetup for autistic adults great great great things point out there are online meetups I actually run one of them they're called peer support groups so if you're looking to connect with other autistic people sort of talk about it you know maybe if you're late diagnosed search up late diagnosis online support groups see if there's anything out there just to do a bit of bit of thinking about what you're looking for it sometimes it's really hard to search for things like that because if you don't know the terminology to look for it's quite hard to find it I will I will check out that petition in determine origin do you want to email me my email is I'll put it in the chart actually you can send me that petition I'll have a look at it so if I can show it about that's my email so send me send me an email hi dobo lady says struggle with maps for other than that things were okay with me me too it's funny about that that stereotype autism like we're really great at maths and coding and it's like me just sat there just struggling to get around basic concepts and statistics being quite quiet yeah no no no worries at all Lydia I appreciate your rem appreciate your contributions blunt first time he says some creators stop producing autism content because they get like that and I think they use they aren't used to autistic people with high support needs and that sucks because those people those are the people I relate to you know I probably saw a challenge you on that because I think you know social media it's we try to highlight the positives a lot with social media and quite often we don't share every part of our lives especially for me like I might put stuff out and say autism is great and you know talk about different things and it kind of waves and sort of the content I do I try to make stuff that's so a bit more negative knowing again just to kind of balance out I understand what you mean I think I think I think it's it is worth talking about that kind of stuff I think it's for a lot of people they seek to make more neutral to positive content around autism because there is a lot there is a ton of negative sort of focus things online from researchers from parents groups organizations things like that so I think that's why a lot of them tend to sort of focus on the positives a bit more thanks into turban origin but I understand when you come in from I think sometimes it can feel a bit like there's a there's a gap between you and the creators like they live in all this great life they've got all them unmasking done in there they've got all the sensory stuff and the stimming sort it out and you know they're starting communities and the succeeding in the world of social media so sometimes it can feel as a bit of a distance but yeah I think it's what it is worth highlighting that I think you know not everybody's having a great time and I'd say probably the majority of people are not having a great time just because of the environments that we have the mental health issues the crossovers the bullying the workplace inequalities you know there's so many things that are bad about being autistic but it doesn't necessarily mean that being autistic is bad it's just there's not those inclusive practices are just really not scratch Lydia Lewis as I was diagnosed when I was young my mum told me when I was about 10 and I was shocked me too I was shocked as well it was the first time that I can remember where I cried tears of joy I was really happy about it William I will I will try and check out your your DM I do got a lot of DMs if you if you want to get more close contact or have a higher chance of contacting me please send me an email the email is high at Thomas Henley dot code at UK you can probably find that in my link tree on my website you can use the contact page on the website you'll probably be able to get a more reliable contact line with me through that yeah I'd be interested in seeing what you have to say I love Temple she's one of the autist one of the ones who made me believe I might be autistic I think there needs to be more prominent figures of all ability levels for us to relate to Emma Johnson says have you got any tips for anxiety whilst waiting for an official diagnosis I've had my initial assessment and I'm now waiting my results but it could be up to six to nine months yeah understand you said get yourself a sensory profile sorted out explore your explore sensory stuff finds sensory supports that work for you for your hypersensitivities and find some stems that are related to your insensitivities that will do a lot for reducing anxiety I'd also say trying to get a good it's a bit annoying people you know it's obvious but try and try and work a bit more on diet maybe exercise a bit more regularly I don't know what your lifestyle is at the moment so you know I'm just giving general advice but you know that's really important a lot of people we have that vestibular proprioceptive hypersensitivity to sometimes doing something that's a bit more active a bit more kind of related to those senses as well as sort of the the benefits of exercise on anxiety depression can really help and you don't have to go straight in and start doing the gym regime it could just be starting with a walk or going for the gym 20 minutes at a certain time every week sort of trying to help and seeing what's up that that those would be probably really good things to learn about but I think as well learning about alexifimia they talk about it a lot but it is important I'm actually going to be doing I'm setting up a course and around emotional social aspects of autism at some point not sure when it's going to come out but that will basically cover everything emotion emotional social related so look out for that Sarah blessed it says thanks for doing this live it's so useful and informative you very welcome where we're very welcome you're very welcome any tips for being autistic in school I've sadly have talked about that already if you want to look on the library play you can you can have a look at that over autistic's would brand me as the autistic version of Damien form from the Omen franchise movies I don't know who that is no I've got no idea I'm not very good with people named celebrities actors it's not something that I'm very good at I'm so happy I found your online Thomas thank you for sharing updated critical yet sensitive information about our diversity I'm 38 self-diagnosed after my son was feel like I'm learning how to live now yeah it's like a it's like a new teenager do you have a new lease of life and new possibilities and you know it gives a lot of I think for me it gave me a lot of sort of hope for so dealing with the negative things I had in life so it's some I'm glad thank you for sharing that I'm glad that I've been able to help you oh in some way yeah I'm gonna when probably wrap up in about 15 minutes 10 15 minutes quarter to but please feel free to send the question I can't believe like I believe the amount of questions this live like last five I was really struggling to get loads of questions but now it's been there's been a lot and I've been like constantly scrolling trying to answer everyone stuff I still have like two question notifications no one from Ross I have given some tips on sort of school so I'd look back at the the live stream I'll post the entire live stream that I do is probably you know I you know you can catch up with that if that would that would help Dale Cawking says I think that having a positive outlook toward outlook towards us is important especially when it comes to how NT viewers nobody likes to be taken pity on yeah um yeah definitely I mean you know pity is a very complex emotion thing I think generally having a positive outlook on autism is good for being forward of life and dealing with negative things and yeah I mean it's good to have a I have a very balanced view on it I see the disadvantages in myself as a person and I also see the positives and I make adjustments and I push and I advocate for things that I find hard and I try and fill my life as much as possible with things that help me and I'm good at so it's kind of I don't know I think I'm more towards a positive end of things but I'm very neutral I think I understand both sides of it it's no it's not always the easiest thing to categorize some hello bed to nature sorry you're probably joined a bit late on I'm gonna gonna probably wrap up in about four minutes so any questions you want to ask me in the last bit um please go for it I usually listen to music when I'm doing my lives I'm doing my podcasts and I just have like the most aggressive song that's just playing in my ears right now so I'm gonna change it it's really not like the tone that I'm trying to go for um probably shouldn't play my heavy metal playlist that would that that's probably why I'm a bit of a lo-fi the last last last four minutes um but anyway it's a nice sense I'm tired yeah it's been a long week well actually it's been the same amount of time this week that it has been the last one see you next Friday have a great week Tom thank you so much for your time you're very welcome thank you for joining Stally and I'm thank you for contributing and asking questions it um now it really makes makes the stream um I'm also interested that for anyone who's still sort of hanging around would you be interested in me live streaming like streaming on like places like twitch or youtube or places like playing games while I'm doing it is that something that you'd be interested in I mean I'm kind of debating it because I actually do like being alive which is kind of weird I thought it'd be something that I'd be really anxious about no worries but so what the thing is is that I have a lot of what my lives get saved on my store on my page so you can you can check back and look over the lives and stuff and you know I do at the same time every week Friday 5 30 p.m. British standard time so you you know if I usually make a story which is sort of reminding people I'm doing it so if you look at them but yeah what was in live streams where we say stuff like actually the week was the same length as all the others it's probably one of my my my more autistic comments yeah watching you play a game would be great which game would you like which game would be good I'm thinking a chilled game one of the games I used to play a lot as Reanscape Rania asks where in the UK from I really like your accent a lot thank you very much I'm from North Yorkshire so it's not London it's the opposite side of the country but thank you appreciated have a good weekend thank thank you birdsinator I'm alone until Monday is that a good thing I hope it is sometimes being alone is nice to play for now no I don't but I I could maybe if it becomes something that pops off a bit more I might do no it's not a good thing why I'm sorry about that it's learning learning this can be hard sometimes so being alone like it's something that I've struggled with so I'm in the past week so it's I relate to you you know life can be hard sometimes it's just about making small adjustments over time to sort of lead you down the best path I don't either I just want to team up with you on the game I only have animal crossing I like to play unconventional games cool well we'll have some unconventional games we might we might do it I might set up a twitch thing see if I can do some some lives or maybe try with YouTube I have no idea I'll probably have to look into it a bit more but I will definitely consider it realize that we're where I've gone past my even longer live stream designated time so probably gonna end it here thank you very much for joining asking questions if you want to check out my podcast go over to my link tree in the profile and yeah it's been really great life I've really enjoyed talking to you all and and hearing about sort of your own experiences very cool thank you I'm going to end the YouTube stream thank you YouTube viewers it's been great being sort of the best sort of you can view account that I've had so far so really appreciate it and yeah I'll see you I'll see you in the next week 5.30 p.m. British standard time on Friday see you later guys okay that's you too and dude